This is my post (Richard), one sanctioned by Kirsty and facilitated by Luther. I've had a couple of weeks to contemplate it. I hope that it can be a basis for some sympathy when I share the cottage with Kirsty and Jamal. Is that possible? We shall have to see. (Sex Retreat post refers).
Kirsty required me to a draw a picture of Jamal's cock, as i remembered it. Well, that was difficult. I've seen it close too twice and both times licked it. I wouldn't really describe it as sucking it. i never gave Jamal any real satisfaction with my mouth and afterwards i gagged thinking about what i had just done. Doing it wrecked my self esteem. It was a difficult task too because I was never good at art. However basic the shape of a cock is, a cigar if you will, there are little nuances that make it look 'cock'. In Jamal's case this was about the curve of the thing (its beautifully designed to trigger orgasms in my wife, rubbing her G spot) and the size of the glans. Jamal is circumcised and his glans are very big indeed. It's like a dirty great bottle stopper and it accounts for the drilled out look of Kirsty's pussy. But once it is in, and his shaft fills with blood, thickening an already thick length, he is locked inside her. The coupling is noisy, unbreakable, his cock locked deep and high inside her womb so that there is only one direction for the spunk to shoot, straight up her ovary tubes. So I drew his cock large and heavy headed, which Kirsty liked. She said that she liked it that despite my artistic limitations I had captured the power of his tool. Instead of posting my fragmented notes though, she directed me to post a more coherent appraisal of how I feel about Jamal's cock, it's central place in our three way relationship.
It's really difficult to do this, writing about the worshipping of another man's cock. But Kirsty requires it. The success of the cottage sex retreat depends on it. If I don't accept Jamal as master, on account of his cock and how he uses it on my wife, then I won't have progressed and Kirsty might review my situation. It's about accepting that sex is centre stage, that it defines how we will live. That's scary…of course it is. But i believe that Kirsty wants this, as a life of three, rather than one of two, if I can but live with my humiliation. To suck Jamal's cock, on demand, eagerly and skilfully, is to accept them as alpha. I know that it makes things so much sexier for Kirsty. I know that she has wrestled with these preferences and now simply accepted that this is what she is. She is discerning, judgemental, elitist, arrogant and yes, a little bitch. Once Jamal has control of me, all of that could blossom ten fold. She really could discover just what a princess she is. Nothing like her medical day job. Living very differently away from the hospital.
I feel ashamed about cock sucking. If you are a cuck or a would be cuck, then this surely exercises your thoughts too. Could you, would you, suck cock for your wife when she required it of you? There is little solace. You get hit with the individual taste of the guy's organ, the smell of his body and of course the taste of his spunk. You will be close to the heavy balls that produce the goodies that she prefers. Kirsty, says I must lick his balls when he is up her. She prefers that, making sure that he gives her the fullest and hottest load of cum when he services her. 'One day he will get me pregnant, so all you do on his cock, against his balls, prepare for that sweetie' she whispered on the last phone call out to the rig where I work. It was always going to involve breeding, at some time, at some point. Not now though, please God, not now and for a good time hence.
It consoled me (may be you too) that phallus worship isn't a new thing. Hindu god kings were pretty fond of putting up ling, cock representations in their places of worship. The clearly phallic looking objects reminded the population that what seemed most earthy about their ruler, was also somehow divine. When he serviced women he did something that was way out of the grubby league of the underlings. I don't know whether the faithful kissed or licked these stone objects (they are too big to suck), but in their heads, they must have thought of this as sucking master's cock. It became a physical act of veneration.
Kirsty says that I have to say why i worship Jamal's cock. This can't be an essay. Shit this is difficult…it really is. It reframes your mind. What is written isn't easily unwritten. It isn't a whim. Type and re type this bit, it is almost impossible. But it is about how he uses his cock to be a man. He is quintessentially masculine with her. He uses it, to provoke the most back arching, exquisite orgasms in her lovely body. You don't have to see this. As long as you can hear this, from next door, you know that he is fucking her in a way that you cannot emulate. He is utterly, completely, instinctively perfect with her and he encourages her to be so much more active in her love making too. When a man produces that in a woman, when he completes her, locking inside her and making her feel her sex like it was a flow of electricity through her very spine, you admire the man and you can actually worship what he uses to do that. That his cock is bigger than mine is the easy and the commonplace admission. That it is black, muscular and daunting in so many regards, is the more honest and the deeper assessment. I know that Kirsty sucks him off. She has told me so. Now though, sucking Jamal's cock is to be my work. I need to learn to suck him so skilfully that he relaxes emptying a load down my throat. When he uses my mouth like that, to celebrate his power, in front of Kirsty, then I may be part of them in the intimate way that i know Kirsty wants.
Kneeling in front of Jamal, to suck his cock ready for copulating my wife, or to clean his organ after fucking isn't gay. But it emasculates me slowly and surely. I am not manly sucking his cock. Any vestiges of my manhood are eroded. I have at last, weathered that anxiety. But it is terribly unequal. It is necessarily humiliating. He is using my mouth, like a wipe, like a receptacle to discharge into. The inequality is essential. I think that Jamal and my wife are perfect together. They are alpha, better, superior, instinctively classy. In past times people didn't deny the appeal of inequality. Breeding wasn't just about an act, it was about good taste, the rightness of privilege. That is what Kirsty expects. That I show Jamal in this way, sucking his cock, that he is privileged and that I am not. The fact that he is physically superior to me, that he is more beautiful, fine, stylish, that he is better educated and better skilled, come down to a recognition requirement for me. i must suck his cock. It is a free will activity, but bound by the wish to be part of the intimacy that Kirsty wants ahead. The pay off, the oh so vital pay off, in my head, is that I'm not pushed out completely. Richard
Kirsty required me to a draw a picture of Jamal's cock, as i remembered it. Well, that was difficult. I've seen it close too twice and both times licked it. I wouldn't really describe it as sucking it. i never gave Jamal any real satisfaction with my mouth and afterwards i gagged thinking about what i had just done. Doing it wrecked my self esteem. It was a difficult task too because I was never good at art. However basic the shape of a cock is, a cigar if you will, there are little nuances that make it look 'cock'. In Jamal's case this was about the curve of the thing (its beautifully designed to trigger orgasms in my wife, rubbing her G spot) and the size of the glans. Jamal is circumcised and his glans are very big indeed. It's like a dirty great bottle stopper and it accounts for the drilled out look of Kirsty's pussy. But once it is in, and his shaft fills with blood, thickening an already thick length, he is locked inside her. The coupling is noisy, unbreakable, his cock locked deep and high inside her womb so that there is only one direction for the spunk to shoot, straight up her ovary tubes. So I drew his cock large and heavy headed, which Kirsty liked. She said that she liked it that despite my artistic limitations I had captured the power of his tool. Instead of posting my fragmented notes though, she directed me to post a more coherent appraisal of how I feel about Jamal's cock, it's central place in our three way relationship.
It's really difficult to do this, writing about the worshipping of another man's cock. But Kirsty requires it. The success of the cottage sex retreat depends on it. If I don't accept Jamal as master, on account of his cock and how he uses it on my wife, then I won't have progressed and Kirsty might review my situation. It's about accepting that sex is centre stage, that it defines how we will live. That's scary…of course it is. But i believe that Kirsty wants this, as a life of three, rather than one of two, if I can but live with my humiliation. To suck Jamal's cock, on demand, eagerly and skilfully, is to accept them as alpha. I know that it makes things so much sexier for Kirsty. I know that she has wrestled with these preferences and now simply accepted that this is what she is. She is discerning, judgemental, elitist, arrogant and yes, a little bitch. Once Jamal has control of me, all of that could blossom ten fold. She really could discover just what a princess she is. Nothing like her medical day job. Living very differently away from the hospital.
I feel ashamed about cock sucking. If you are a cuck or a would be cuck, then this surely exercises your thoughts too. Could you, would you, suck cock for your wife when she required it of you? There is little solace. You get hit with the individual taste of the guy's organ, the smell of his body and of course the taste of his spunk. You will be close to the heavy balls that produce the goodies that she prefers. Kirsty, says I must lick his balls when he is up her. She prefers that, making sure that he gives her the fullest and hottest load of cum when he services her. 'One day he will get me pregnant, so all you do on his cock, against his balls, prepare for that sweetie' she whispered on the last phone call out to the rig where I work. It was always going to involve breeding, at some time, at some point. Not now though, please God, not now and for a good time hence.
It consoled me (may be you too) that phallus worship isn't a new thing. Hindu god kings were pretty fond of putting up ling, cock representations in their places of worship. The clearly phallic looking objects reminded the population that what seemed most earthy about their ruler, was also somehow divine. When he serviced women he did something that was way out of the grubby league of the underlings. I don't know whether the faithful kissed or licked these stone objects (they are too big to suck), but in their heads, they must have thought of this as sucking master's cock. It became a physical act of veneration.
Kirsty says that I have to say why i worship Jamal's cock. This can't be an essay. Shit this is difficult…it really is. It reframes your mind. What is written isn't easily unwritten. It isn't a whim. Type and re type this bit, it is almost impossible. But it is about how he uses his cock to be a man. He is quintessentially masculine with her. He uses it, to provoke the most back arching, exquisite orgasms in her lovely body. You don't have to see this. As long as you can hear this, from next door, you know that he is fucking her in a way that you cannot emulate. He is utterly, completely, instinctively perfect with her and he encourages her to be so much more active in her love making too. When a man produces that in a woman, when he completes her, locking inside her and making her feel her sex like it was a flow of electricity through her very spine, you admire the man and you can actually worship what he uses to do that. That his cock is bigger than mine is the easy and the commonplace admission. That it is black, muscular and daunting in so many regards, is the more honest and the deeper assessment. I know that Kirsty sucks him off. She has told me so. Now though, sucking Jamal's cock is to be my work. I need to learn to suck him so skilfully that he relaxes emptying a load down my throat. When he uses my mouth like that, to celebrate his power, in front of Kirsty, then I may be part of them in the intimate way that i know Kirsty wants.
Kneeling in front of Jamal, to suck his cock ready for copulating my wife, or to clean his organ after fucking isn't gay. But it emasculates me slowly and surely. I am not manly sucking his cock. Any vestiges of my manhood are eroded. I have at last, weathered that anxiety. But it is terribly unequal. It is necessarily humiliating. He is using my mouth, like a wipe, like a receptacle to discharge into. The inequality is essential. I think that Jamal and my wife are perfect together. They are alpha, better, superior, instinctively classy. In past times people didn't deny the appeal of inequality. Breeding wasn't just about an act, it was about good taste, the rightness of privilege. That is what Kirsty expects. That I show Jamal in this way, sucking his cock, that he is privileged and that I am not. The fact that he is physically superior to me, that he is more beautiful, fine, stylish, that he is better educated and better skilled, come down to a recognition requirement for me. i must suck his cock. It is a free will activity, but bound by the wish to be part of the intimacy that Kirsty wants ahead. The pay off, the oh so vital pay off, in my head, is that I'm not pushed out completely. Richard
