Chapter 3 - "Statistics don't lie"
Later in the evening the same day that Sarina had first questioned him, Alec received an email from her. He had been thinking upon their chat since it had finished. Thoughts and questions swirling around his mind. Had watching interracial effected him? Or had it pulled up sub-conscious ideas he already believed without thinking about them? Did he secretly covet white woman and want them to stay clear of black men? Of course not! That would be ridiculous. Racist even. And he wasn't, right? He couldn't deny the strange stabs of jealous anger he had felt when watching Blacked though. Despite its potent ability to leave him weak and reeling after every session watching it. It all left him deeply confused, conflicted and a little afraid.
His phone pinged as he sat, lost in thought at his desk. Glancing at it he saw Sarina had emailed him.
Hey Alec,
I think our first session today went great! I'd love to keep doing research with you, if you'll help me. I've attached a form you can fill out. It will just be a helpful reference for anything we discover and provide some context. Do let me know if you have any questions.
Or if you don't want to help, just let me know, okay?
Loving,
Sarina x
He lingered on her sign off, perhaps reading too deeply into it, if just for a moment. Alec then opened the attached PDF and quickly scan his eyes across it. It seemed simple enough. His name, age, height, other physical details. One thing that caught his eye was 'genital size(when unaroused)' and 'genital size(when fully hard)'. He wasn't sure he could bring himself to let Sarina know he wasn't exactly hung. Or the importance of his dick size to her paper. Skipping past, he observed the background section of the form. Where he was from, details about his parents, if he had any siblings, the wealth they had and more. Alec was a little taken aback by the detail it was asking for. Another rather intimate detail it requested was his sexual history. If he remained a virgin. Alec could not really picture himself admitting he had not had sex with a girl yet to anyone really, let alone someone like Sarina. He quickly text her.
"Heya. Reading the form you sent me. Some it is pretty personal..." She text back nearly instantly.
"It's important Alec! Your background, upbringing all inform you as a person."
Alec frowned. He conceded the point but still replied with "I get that, but the physical details? Is that important?"
"Yes. Very. Don't worry, it's all confidential. No one will review the form apart from me. It's just reference material for me when discussing our progress."
Alec considered her message for several seconds. He knew what she meant. Yet it made it no easier to part with his personal secrets. He jumped slightly as his phone started to buzz. Sarina's name on screen as she called him.
"Heya" Alec said, quickly answering and leaning back in his chair.
"Alec, don't worry." Sarina's voice was calm and straight to business. " I know some of the questions are a little personal, but hopefully you've noticed those sort of details don't faze me. I am only interested in researching the truth, not shaming you."
"Shaming me?" Alec scoffed a little, "I didn't thin-"
"I assumed you were concerned about me exposing a lack luster sexual history? Or lack of one at all. Or you being, 'little'." Sarina interrupted, talking as though she were chatting about her groceries. "Again, none of which interest me beyond the implications to my study. So your college rep is safe, okay. You think of me so lowly that I would spread information you shared privately to help me?"
Alec could feel the heat in his cheeks as Sarina spoke. She had hit the nail on the head but he wasn't going to let her know that out right. Yet her guilt tripping worked a charm and he quickly found himself on the backfoot. "What? No of course not! I just wanted to be sure it, you know.. That it was private."
Sarina laughed, her honeyed voice bringing a smile to Alec's face without him even registering it. "Yes, sweet Alec. It will be private. Not a soul will know beyond us. Okay? Are you fears averted?"
"I suppose." Alec murmured, feeling like he had somehow lost this little discussion without really knowing what they were fighting for.
"Who's a good boy?" Sarina cooed, mockingly. She laughed once more before her tone changed. "Ohh, on that note. I have you first proper research test. I'll send you a link now!"
Alec's eyebrows raised as he took his phone away from his ear to look at the link Sarina had just sent. It was a porn link. 'BLACKED first Interracial Foursome For Elsa Jean And Zoey Monroe'.
"I want you to watch it-" Sarina began, her voice still soft but with an eagerness pulling at it.
"What, right now?" Alec blurted, his heartbeat starting to race, an excited, nervous knot forming in his stomach at the idea of watching the scene while on the phone with Sarina.
"Oh, so eager!" Sarina held back a laugh, ignoring Alec's feeble attempts to deny it. "Perhaps another time though, Alec. As wonderful as the idea of hearing you climax to some real sex is, I think I might distract you. And I want you focused on your own thoughts and feelings for now."
Alec felt a burning shame in his cheeks as Sarina spoke. He hadn't meant it like that, had he? No. He was just shocked of course, surprised. Unsure if he should do it now.
"I want you to watch this scene and focus on your feelings. I want you to truly see what is happening before you. Two beautiful, sexually liberated and anti-racist white woman enjoying real sex." As Sarina spoke, Alec could feel his breath catching. Was he really hearing this? Was Sarina actually talking so casually about it? His inner thoughts seemed to help smooth over some of her word choices as Alec only nodded, as if she was there.
"I want you to embrace it. To acknowledge that, though they may be white, that they may be of your race. They are not yours. You do not own them. It is racist to assume they owe your any loyalty. This video will highlight that not only is the black male dispossessing you of your women but that the women want this too. And above all, focus on the pleasure of accepting this brings. Embrace the pleasure that stepping back and observing brings, okay? Oh! And be sure to note which videos you are watching and at which point you achieve climax."
Alec was silent for a second, reeling a little from Sarina's words. She delivered them so naturally. Calmly. As if it were the most normal thing in the world to dissect the mental state a person experiences while watching porn.
"I.. Sure, I can do that.." Alec spoke, his voice sounding dry and the words a little difficult to get out. God he was weak willed. So easily pushed into this bizarre scenario in which a woman was requesting him to ponder his inner thoughts while tugging it to interracial. How had this even come to be?
"Excellent!" Sarina said, the joy in her voice clear. "Be sure to keep it detailed. Write it down after if you have to. I want you to keep doing the same all week, we can catch up next weekend, okay?"
"Sounds good." Alec muttered weakly. Did it? Did being Sarina's little pet project really sound good? Sitting and listening to her spout all that... Alec's thoughts were interrupted as he began to watch the link she'd sent him play out on his phone. Two blondes, petite and beautiful discussing something with one another. Their outfits revealing much of their pale, perfect bodies. It was only the initial set up but he could already feel his cock beginning to stir, already anticipating his desires.
"Well then, I'll leave you to it, Alec. Enjoy!" Sarina spoke, a small giggle escaping her before she hung up. Alec felt a little frustrated with himself. Yet again he had found himself here, so easily manipulated by a little attention. He didn't dwell too long on his own bruised ego however as the scene on his phone was getting good.
Both girls, Elsa and Zoey had been led by their handsome counter-parts into another room. Each black co-star pulled a girl close, their lips meeting each other hungrily. Alec's eyes were already locked onto the screen, his hands quickly tugging down his pants with an eagerness he barely registered. He couldn't deny how good these girls looked, being held close, their whiteness so apt against the dark ebony of the male stars. The contrast was so inviting. Alec glanced around, the lube he usually kept by his bed still there and seemingly so far in this moment. He went old school, using a bit of his saliva on the palm of his hand before grasping his cock. The familiar satisfaction racing through him, though it had seemed a little more intense since this project had started. He recalled Sarina's amused words, the idea of her listening in as he touched himself to this. "Uhhh, fuck.." Alec muttered, his right hand already fapping intently to the make-out session before him. The scene switched though, seeing both Elsa and Zoey lowering themselves before the thick, black cocks before each of them. Alec breathed deep, feeling the pang of jealous anger once more. The size difference between these black men and his own manhood was night and day. Alec was able to hide his entire length within one hand, while the man before Elsa was able to have her throat him and jerk him with plenty of his shaft still demanding attention. Zoey eagerly gagged on her partners cock, her hands grabbing the back of his thighs. A slightly frustrated, breathy moan slipped from Alec as he imagined what it would be like to experience her mouth. To feel those soft lips wrap around his cock, the tight, wet, warmth of her mouth along his dick. Her adoring eyes gazing up at him. But her mouth wasn't around his slim, pale cock. It was busy being stuffed by the massive ebony manhood before her.
The sounds of his desperate masturbation filled Alec's room. Hunched over his desk, pants and underwear bunched around his ankles as his tugged himself to the sight of these blondes serving the big black cocks before them. He tried to think on that jealous feeling which spiked once more, just as Sarina had asked. They didn't belong to him. These girls weren't his to protect because they were white. It was racist to claim them as his own. Pleasure came from watching. Alec could feel his balls tighten and shift in his small sack. He was going to fucking cum already. "No.." Alec cursed himself, feeling hot shame run through him as yet another premature orgasm came rushing up. But he couldn't resist the urge to keep stroking. He couldn't deny the intense pleasure he felt when jerking to interracial. Elsa and Zoey were now kneeling before their studs who were laying back, allowing the girls to worship their cocks with eager mouths and hands. Alec bit his lip, trying to hang on. These men were claiming these girls and he had to accept that. These black men were claiming these white girls, and he had to accept that. Sarina's words, encouraging him to break down these primitive ideas of ownership and abandon any racial unity with the girls. Simply embrace the pleasure of watching. A hot, primal shame filled his gut though. While these black men enjoyed the intent attention of the girls, Alec's cock only knew the tightness of his own hand. He couldn't shake the slight humiliation which crept into his mind at the idea. All the while, he was desperately trying to hold his load back and keep going. Alec grunted, allowing himself to slow his jerking a little to try and enjoy the ride. Yet it was not to be.
The scene shifted once more, the girls giggling as they glanced at one another and shifting position. They moved onto all fours, swapping places with their black partners. Both Elsa and Zoey present their round, bubble butts to their studs, being stripped of their underwear. Then it happened. A hard shot of a thick, black cock slowly entering Elsa. Her pussy slowly accepting the dark invader inside her. She gripped his shaft tight and it was simply too much for Alec. "Fuck!" He groaned, feeling his orgasm rush up, triggered by the intimate display before him. His toes curled and Alec shuddered, stretching out his legs awkwardly as his cock twitched, shooting two small ropes of cum into the air and down onto his underwear and the floor. A small stream dribbled from his head as he weakly tugged more, chest heaving as the orgasm faded. It was still as it had been the first time. Intense, all over and giving him a euphoric high he hadn't experienced before he had started watching interracial.
Blinking, Alec breathed deep, sucking in air as the scene continued to play before him. His eyes remained locked onto his phone screen even as his cock went limp, its strength spent on a single orgasm. The girls were moaning softly in delight as they were fucked doggy, their pussy's getting stretched and filled. Alec watched for a few moments longer before feeling some of his cum trickling down onto his smooth thighs.
"Shit.." He murmured, looking around for something to clean himself up with.
"Dude, what the Hell is wrong?" Jensen turned to Alec, gesturing with his controller to the screen. 'Defeat' filled the screen in red lettering. Alec glanced over at his friend and sighed. He'd had an interesting week. Plenty of assignments due and a creeping voice which had been shaming him all week. A small, insidious voice in the back of his head which called him a weak willed loser whenever he indulged in the 'research' for Sarina. Every night he tugged down his underwear and began another session to Blacked, it would whisper and call him a failure of a man. Despite the intense ecstasy he felt when cumming to interracial, the shame post-nut was growing and growing. He couldn't exactly pin why he was ashamed, or perhaps couldn't come to terms with why. It had eaten away at him for the past week and now, it was effecting his free time.
Alec shrugged, tossing aside his controller and running both his hands through his hair with an exhausted expression.
"I don't know man. Just been feeling kinda out of it this week. Overwhelmed." He leaned back into the sofa, eyes staring off into the distance.
"You need any help with assignments or something?" Jensen asked, his normal cocky persona slipping for a second and revealing his softer side. He and Alec had met day one of their introductory lecture and been close since. Jensen was a snarky, wise-ass with a bit of a Napoléon complex. He liked to portray himself as an impossibly cool individual. One who was rather out-spoken about his political views too. Madison often called him a right-wing, incel loser and he referred to her as a woke, liberal bitch. So it seemed odd that they both got on so well with Alec and he with them. Maybe it was their shared passion for classic video games which bridged it for Alec. Or that, despite what he would brag about to others, Jensen was a decent friend and not a complete douche.
Alec raised his eyebrows. He doubted Jensen would approve or be any help to the 'assignment' he was doing with Sarina.
"No, no you're good bro. I've just got a lot going on. It'll be fine in a week or two. Just been doing some extra work with this chick, Sarina. She is very detailed orientated, so it's tough sometimes." Alec laughed, happy to be able to at least air some of his feelings.
"Sarina? Do I know her?" Jensen's face curled in thought. His strawberry blonde hair was slicked back, like a poor Bond villain and he pushed up the round set of wire rimmed glasses he sported. A rather weak mustache clung to his upper lip, something Alec refrained from teasing him about too much. He wasn't even able to grow that truth be told.
"I doubt it. She is a social studies major. Met her through Madi."
Jensen sneered slightly. "Ohh, is she is a complete bitch too?"
"Hey, don't start." Alec shook his head.
"What? I have no idea why you waste your time with that girl. She is the worst."
"Funny, she says the same stuff about you." Alec smirked slightly
"You're just a fucking simp, bro." Jensen retorted. "Just because you put up with all the garbage she spouts doesn't mean she'll let you fuck her. She just likes having you hanging on and licking her ass. She'll never drop her panties for you, man."
Alec slowly turned his head and shot Jensen a look. Silence filled the air between them, thick and uncomfortable.
"Sorry." Jensen offered, knowing he'd crossed a line.
"Whatever. Super glad I came by to get insulted and hangout." Alec tried to joke it off but there was a slightly wounded look in his eye as he forced a smile. As if he needed reminding that Madison only ever seemed to see him as a 'best friend'. He got up, making to leave.
"Come on, I didn't mean it like that." Jensen tried.
"No, no. It's all good. I've got to meet Sarina anyway. Got some study work to do." Alec said. He wanted to talk about the fucking insane situation he'd been sweet talked into but Jensen seemed like the last person who'd be helpful there. He had made his position on interracial and 'race traitors' clear before. Even if he always claimed to be kidding, Alec knew his friend harboured some interesting beliefs.
"You free tomorrow?" Jensen offered.
"Maybe, I'll let you know."
"There he is!" Sarina greeted Alec, standing up from her study desk to embrace him. Her hair was styled in flowing waves around her shoulders, a shortened athletic hoodie exposed her toned midriff and matched with the tight leggings she wore. A pair of fashionable sneakers completed the look.
"Hey, Sarina. You good? Just got back from the gym?" Alec smiled, feeling a few butterflies as he hugged her.
"Oh, you noticed." Sarina smiled broadly before sitting back down again. Alec tried to not stare as just how good her ass looked in the tight material. "I've been going more recently. Girl's gotta stay in shape. You should come some time. Tone up a little."
Alec sat opposite Sarina, laughing a little. "I'm not really a gym guy, you know?"
"Oh I get that. But I'm not saying you've got to hammer out curls all day. Just come blast those glutes with me!" Sarina was already grabbing her laptop from her bag as she spoke, humming happily to herself. She seemed in an especially good mood.
"I'll think about it." Alec shrugged, imaging the view of Sarina squatting in her leggings. It was a pleasant image to say the least.
"Well, to business then?" Sarina replied. "I've read through you little reports. I must say, Alec, there perfect. Exactly the kind of information I need."
Alec smiled dumbly. "Glad you think so. It was a little strange... Writing about that stuff."
Sarina nodded, understanding. Her request for him to detail his post-orgasm thoughts and feelings was about as insane a request as Alec had ever had. But he had come this far. "I know it can feel awkward at first. But I feel like you grew a little more confident with you last two. And your personal details, I appreciate it Alec, really. It helps bring so much more data into context."
Alec felt his face tighten at the mention of the document he'd filled out. Building the courage to actually confess to Sarina about his physical short comings or complete lack of sexual experience, beyond vigorous masturbation. "Yeah, well, it's confidential, right?"
Sarina laughed slightly. "Yes! For the tenth time, it won't go beyond me. Have a little faith." She smiled, shaking her head slightly. "Right well, I want to say a few things of note. First off, this 'shame' you describe in all your reports. Where do you believe it stems from?"
Alec had been wondering this for a week now. He had some ideas but didn't exactly want to air them, even to Sarina. "I, I honestly don't know. Maybe to do with the ownership thing? My sub-conscious is still caught up on seeing that."
Sarina seemed to consider it for a second. "I disagree. I believe this shame is more basic. A more primitive drive then the racial aspect. I think you feel this shame because you are failing as a man." Alec turned red almost instantly, opening his mouth the protest the insult but Sarina continued, rolling over him. "Before you whine about it! It's not an insult. Let me explain. A basic biological drive for men is to reproduce via sex. It drives so much of what you idiots do. In this scenario though, you are expressing that sexual need, that drive through masturbation to quell the desire. However I am asking you to consider your position in this scene. Which is highlighting that, while you are unable to secure a mate to impregnate, another male is. You are watching other males fore fill their basic masculine drive. To fuck, basically. While you are not. This shame is spawned from being more aware of your situation. See what I mean?"
Alec remained silent for a second, trying to process everything she said. "I, I know what you mean, I think." He said slowly.
"See, I am not calling you a loser, Alec. You're great! But in the purely sexual, basic instinct driven world. You would be considered one which is why, when stripped back to thinking about things in this exchange of power, you feel shame." Sarina smiled across the table at him. "Don't feel bad! I'm actually super excited because this leads onto my next topic. Statistics!"
Alec was most defiantly feeling like a loser in that exact moment. Sarina seemed genuine in her words, but it didn't make the blow any less personal. She had basically said 'You only fuck your hand, Alec, so if we were back to basics you'd be a total loser.' "Statistics?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't you know it. It's not even your fault really, here." Sarina spun her laptop around to sit between them and she leant forward. On the screen were several different PDF files which had been opened, each with highly detailed breakdowns of various line graphs and flow charts. She gestured to one. "Here. The number of white males aged eighteen to twenty-five who remain virgins sits at sixty-four percent. Over half!" Sarina seemed delighted by the news, yet Alec frowned. Surely that couldn't be right? Over half of all white guys his age hadn't ever had sex? "So, this seems to be a trend for males in your demographic. You're hardly alone." Sarina spoke, matter-factly. As if that made it better.
"Where did you even get these?" Alec protested, reading several of the other papers quickly.
"My professor. She works with this research group. I want to intern with them so badly." Sarina chatted. She was so at ease discussing such subjects it threw Alec for a loop every time. "Another thing I think it great is your experience is tracked on here. For example, you reportedly experienced premature orgasms while watching, right? Well, look here." She pointed to another graph. Alec wanted to defend himself. Premature seemed a little extreme. Quicker than normal, sure but hardly premature. He gazed at the paper, reading aloud.
"The study concludes that roughly forty-three percent of white males aged eighteen to twenty-eight are classified as 'premature ejaculators'. Unable to deal with sexual simulations beyond five minutes. This is an increase of twenty percent in the same amount of years." he paused.
"See!" Sarina said, triumphantly. "This tracks with your experience. Almost half of white boys struggle with premature ejaculation."
"Hang on." Alec interrupted, feeling the sting of his pride and the need to defend himself a little. "I wouldn't say I am premature. Sure, I finished quicker when watching, you know."
"Blacked?" Sarina suggested, a little smug.
Alec paused, sighing. "Yes. That. But we talked about it before. Normally, I am way above five minutes!"
"That actually brings me to my next point." Sarina said, not put out by Alec's words. "You traditionally consumed this sort of content, correct?" She quickly tabbed into another file, pulling up a collection of videos. They were all Tiktoks or reels from Instagram depicting girls of various appearances either twerking, bouncing their tits or other suggestive things. Alec watched, his spark of defiance flickered in the face is the fat, juicy asses now shaking in front of him.
"Yeah, and?" He said, trying to maintain a sense of control.
"Well, I imagined you noticed that none of them are naked. I believe you've kind of programmed yourself. You've learnt to climax to non-nude women. You have been finishing to what most real men would consider teasing, or foreplay at best. And now that you are watching such intense, intimate displays of sex, your struggling to contain your sensitivity to it." Sarina finished, clearly a little pleased with her theory. Alec for his part remained silent for a second, thinking it through.
"What I might suggest, Alec. Is that you don't watch interracial for the next week or so. We'll pause that study. You return to, this" She waved vaguely at the the blonde girl on screen who was doing a bikini haul, her massive tits spilling out of every tiny piece of clothing she tried. "We can see if you return to 'normal' with your orgasm times with the change in content, or potentially we've added you the percent of white boys who just cum too quick. I'd be interested to see if interracial has perhaps triggered some sort of survival gene in you. A desperate need to ejaculate quickly in the face of competitors, perhaps. Or a sign of surrender, if you will." Sarina mused, gears in her head turning. Alec was too shocked to reply, blinking rapidly. He was having trouble tracking all that she was saying.
"This, this is a lot. I don't know how much of this is actually science." Alec spoke slowly, pulling his eyes away from the screen to look back at Sarina.
"Oh, of course, it must be a lot to take in all at once. I didn't mean to dump it all. I am just so excited to explore these theories!" She beamed, the light in her eye giving Alec a slightly unsettled feeling. "What I'll do is send you these studies. Read them. Take your time. Go back to masturbating as normal. No more Blacked, unless you need it of course." She smirked for a second before her face returned to normal. "We can go over this again next week. I'll have calmed down, you'll know the content. How about it?" She leaned over, touching his arm, even as a pair of girls on her laptop screen shook their clearly fake asses in tight leggings to a hiphop beat.
Alec was reeling but only nodded. The small voice in the back of his head returning, scolding him once more.
"Yeah, okay." was all he managed, his eyes gazing back into Sarina's cold, blue eyes. They glinted with a terrifying light which made Alec's stomach tighten. What had he gotten himself into now?
(Just a small aside to say thank you once more to everyone who's read and reacted to the story so far. I love hearing your ideas and imaginings for this project and hopefully, it continues to be an enjoyable read for you all. )
His phone pinged as he sat, lost in thought at his desk. Glancing at it he saw Sarina had emailed him.
Hey Alec,
I think our first session today went great! I'd love to keep doing research with you, if you'll help me. I've attached a form you can fill out. It will just be a helpful reference for anything we discover and provide some context. Do let me know if you have any questions.
Or if you don't want to help, just let me know, okay?
Loving,
Sarina x
He lingered on her sign off, perhaps reading too deeply into it, if just for a moment. Alec then opened the attached PDF and quickly scan his eyes across it. It seemed simple enough. His name, age, height, other physical details. One thing that caught his eye was 'genital size(when unaroused)' and 'genital size(when fully hard)'. He wasn't sure he could bring himself to let Sarina know he wasn't exactly hung. Or the importance of his dick size to her paper. Skipping past, he observed the background section of the form. Where he was from, details about his parents, if he had any siblings, the wealth they had and more. Alec was a little taken aback by the detail it was asking for. Another rather intimate detail it requested was his sexual history. If he remained a virgin. Alec could not really picture himself admitting he had not had sex with a girl yet to anyone really, let alone someone like Sarina. He quickly text her.
"Heya. Reading the form you sent me. Some it is pretty personal..." She text back nearly instantly.
"It's important Alec! Your background, upbringing all inform you as a person."
Alec frowned. He conceded the point but still replied with "I get that, but the physical details? Is that important?"
"Yes. Very. Don't worry, it's all confidential. No one will review the form apart from me. It's just reference material for me when discussing our progress."
Alec considered her message for several seconds. He knew what she meant. Yet it made it no easier to part with his personal secrets. He jumped slightly as his phone started to buzz. Sarina's name on screen as she called him.
"Heya" Alec said, quickly answering and leaning back in his chair.
"Alec, don't worry." Sarina's voice was calm and straight to business. " I know some of the questions are a little personal, but hopefully you've noticed those sort of details don't faze me. I am only interested in researching the truth, not shaming you."
"Shaming me?" Alec scoffed a little, "I didn't thin-"
"I assumed you were concerned about me exposing a lack luster sexual history? Or lack of one at all. Or you being, 'little'." Sarina interrupted, talking as though she were chatting about her groceries. "Again, none of which interest me beyond the implications to my study. So your college rep is safe, okay. You think of me so lowly that I would spread information you shared privately to help me?"
Alec could feel the heat in his cheeks as Sarina spoke. She had hit the nail on the head but he wasn't going to let her know that out right. Yet her guilt tripping worked a charm and he quickly found himself on the backfoot. "What? No of course not! I just wanted to be sure it, you know.. That it was private."
Sarina laughed, her honeyed voice bringing a smile to Alec's face without him even registering it. "Yes, sweet Alec. It will be private. Not a soul will know beyond us. Okay? Are you fears averted?"
"I suppose." Alec murmured, feeling like he had somehow lost this little discussion without really knowing what they were fighting for.
"Who's a good boy?" Sarina cooed, mockingly. She laughed once more before her tone changed. "Ohh, on that note. I have you first proper research test. I'll send you a link now!"
Alec's eyebrows raised as he took his phone away from his ear to look at the link Sarina had just sent. It was a porn link. 'BLACKED first Interracial Foursome For Elsa Jean And Zoey Monroe'.
"I want you to watch it-" Sarina began, her voice still soft but with an eagerness pulling at it.
"What, right now?" Alec blurted, his heartbeat starting to race, an excited, nervous knot forming in his stomach at the idea of watching the scene while on the phone with Sarina.
"Oh, so eager!" Sarina held back a laugh, ignoring Alec's feeble attempts to deny it. "Perhaps another time though, Alec. As wonderful as the idea of hearing you climax to some real sex is, I think I might distract you. And I want you focused on your own thoughts and feelings for now."
Alec felt a burning shame in his cheeks as Sarina spoke. He hadn't meant it like that, had he? No. He was just shocked of course, surprised. Unsure if he should do it now.
"I want you to watch this scene and focus on your feelings. I want you to truly see what is happening before you. Two beautiful, sexually liberated and anti-racist white woman enjoying real sex." As Sarina spoke, Alec could feel his breath catching. Was he really hearing this? Was Sarina actually talking so casually about it? His inner thoughts seemed to help smooth over some of her word choices as Alec only nodded, as if she was there.
"I want you to embrace it. To acknowledge that, though they may be white, that they may be of your race. They are not yours. You do not own them. It is racist to assume they owe your any loyalty. This video will highlight that not only is the black male dispossessing you of your women but that the women want this too. And above all, focus on the pleasure of accepting this brings. Embrace the pleasure that stepping back and observing brings, okay? Oh! And be sure to note which videos you are watching and at which point you achieve climax."
Alec was silent for a second, reeling a little from Sarina's words. She delivered them so naturally. Calmly. As if it were the most normal thing in the world to dissect the mental state a person experiences while watching porn.
"I.. Sure, I can do that.." Alec spoke, his voice sounding dry and the words a little difficult to get out. God he was weak willed. So easily pushed into this bizarre scenario in which a woman was requesting him to ponder his inner thoughts while tugging it to interracial. How had this even come to be?
"Excellent!" Sarina said, the joy in her voice clear. "Be sure to keep it detailed. Write it down after if you have to. I want you to keep doing the same all week, we can catch up next weekend, okay?"
"Sounds good." Alec muttered weakly. Did it? Did being Sarina's little pet project really sound good? Sitting and listening to her spout all that... Alec's thoughts were interrupted as he began to watch the link she'd sent him play out on his phone. Two blondes, petite and beautiful discussing something with one another. Their outfits revealing much of their pale, perfect bodies. It was only the initial set up but he could already feel his cock beginning to stir, already anticipating his desires.
"Well then, I'll leave you to it, Alec. Enjoy!" Sarina spoke, a small giggle escaping her before she hung up. Alec felt a little frustrated with himself. Yet again he had found himself here, so easily manipulated by a little attention. He didn't dwell too long on his own bruised ego however as the scene on his phone was getting good.
Both girls, Elsa and Zoey had been led by their handsome counter-parts into another room. Each black co-star pulled a girl close, their lips meeting each other hungrily. Alec's eyes were already locked onto the screen, his hands quickly tugging down his pants with an eagerness he barely registered. He couldn't deny how good these girls looked, being held close, their whiteness so apt against the dark ebony of the male stars. The contrast was so inviting. Alec glanced around, the lube he usually kept by his bed still there and seemingly so far in this moment. He went old school, using a bit of his saliva on the palm of his hand before grasping his cock. The familiar satisfaction racing through him, though it had seemed a little more intense since this project had started. He recalled Sarina's amused words, the idea of her listening in as he touched himself to this. "Uhhh, fuck.." Alec muttered, his right hand already fapping intently to the make-out session before him. The scene switched though, seeing both Elsa and Zoey lowering themselves before the thick, black cocks before each of them. Alec breathed deep, feeling the pang of jealous anger once more. The size difference between these black men and his own manhood was night and day. Alec was able to hide his entire length within one hand, while the man before Elsa was able to have her throat him and jerk him with plenty of his shaft still demanding attention. Zoey eagerly gagged on her partners cock, her hands grabbing the back of his thighs. A slightly frustrated, breathy moan slipped from Alec as he imagined what it would be like to experience her mouth. To feel those soft lips wrap around his cock, the tight, wet, warmth of her mouth along his dick. Her adoring eyes gazing up at him. But her mouth wasn't around his slim, pale cock. It was busy being stuffed by the massive ebony manhood before her.
The sounds of his desperate masturbation filled Alec's room. Hunched over his desk, pants and underwear bunched around his ankles as his tugged himself to the sight of these blondes serving the big black cocks before them. He tried to think on that jealous feeling which spiked once more, just as Sarina had asked. They didn't belong to him. These girls weren't his to protect because they were white. It was racist to claim them as his own. Pleasure came from watching. Alec could feel his balls tighten and shift in his small sack. He was going to fucking cum already. "No.." Alec cursed himself, feeling hot shame run through him as yet another premature orgasm came rushing up. But he couldn't resist the urge to keep stroking. He couldn't deny the intense pleasure he felt when jerking to interracial. Elsa and Zoey were now kneeling before their studs who were laying back, allowing the girls to worship their cocks with eager mouths and hands. Alec bit his lip, trying to hang on. These men were claiming these girls and he had to accept that. These black men were claiming these white girls, and he had to accept that. Sarina's words, encouraging him to break down these primitive ideas of ownership and abandon any racial unity with the girls. Simply embrace the pleasure of watching. A hot, primal shame filled his gut though. While these black men enjoyed the intent attention of the girls, Alec's cock only knew the tightness of his own hand. He couldn't shake the slight humiliation which crept into his mind at the idea. All the while, he was desperately trying to hold his load back and keep going. Alec grunted, allowing himself to slow his jerking a little to try and enjoy the ride. Yet it was not to be.
The scene shifted once more, the girls giggling as they glanced at one another and shifting position. They moved onto all fours, swapping places with their black partners. Both Elsa and Zoey present their round, bubble butts to their studs, being stripped of their underwear. Then it happened. A hard shot of a thick, black cock slowly entering Elsa. Her pussy slowly accepting the dark invader inside her. She gripped his shaft tight and it was simply too much for Alec. "Fuck!" He groaned, feeling his orgasm rush up, triggered by the intimate display before him. His toes curled and Alec shuddered, stretching out his legs awkwardly as his cock twitched, shooting two small ropes of cum into the air and down onto his underwear and the floor. A small stream dribbled from his head as he weakly tugged more, chest heaving as the orgasm faded. It was still as it had been the first time. Intense, all over and giving him a euphoric high he hadn't experienced before he had started watching interracial.
Blinking, Alec breathed deep, sucking in air as the scene continued to play before him. His eyes remained locked onto his phone screen even as his cock went limp, its strength spent on a single orgasm. The girls were moaning softly in delight as they were fucked doggy, their pussy's getting stretched and filled. Alec watched for a few moments longer before feeling some of his cum trickling down onto his smooth thighs.
"Shit.." He murmured, looking around for something to clean himself up with.
"Dude, what the Hell is wrong?" Jensen turned to Alec, gesturing with his controller to the screen. 'Defeat' filled the screen in red lettering. Alec glanced over at his friend and sighed. He'd had an interesting week. Plenty of assignments due and a creeping voice which had been shaming him all week. A small, insidious voice in the back of his head which called him a weak willed loser whenever he indulged in the 'research' for Sarina. Every night he tugged down his underwear and began another session to Blacked, it would whisper and call him a failure of a man. Despite the intense ecstasy he felt when cumming to interracial, the shame post-nut was growing and growing. He couldn't exactly pin why he was ashamed, or perhaps couldn't come to terms with why. It had eaten away at him for the past week and now, it was effecting his free time.
Alec shrugged, tossing aside his controller and running both his hands through his hair with an exhausted expression.
"I don't know man. Just been feeling kinda out of it this week. Overwhelmed." He leaned back into the sofa, eyes staring off into the distance.
"You need any help with assignments or something?" Jensen asked, his normal cocky persona slipping for a second and revealing his softer side. He and Alec had met day one of their introductory lecture and been close since. Jensen was a snarky, wise-ass with a bit of a Napoléon complex. He liked to portray himself as an impossibly cool individual. One who was rather out-spoken about his political views too. Madison often called him a right-wing, incel loser and he referred to her as a woke, liberal bitch. So it seemed odd that they both got on so well with Alec and he with them. Maybe it was their shared passion for classic video games which bridged it for Alec. Or that, despite what he would brag about to others, Jensen was a decent friend and not a complete douche.
Alec raised his eyebrows. He doubted Jensen would approve or be any help to the 'assignment' he was doing with Sarina.
"No, no you're good bro. I've just got a lot going on. It'll be fine in a week or two. Just been doing some extra work with this chick, Sarina. She is very detailed orientated, so it's tough sometimes." Alec laughed, happy to be able to at least air some of his feelings.
"Sarina? Do I know her?" Jensen's face curled in thought. His strawberry blonde hair was slicked back, like a poor Bond villain and he pushed up the round set of wire rimmed glasses he sported. A rather weak mustache clung to his upper lip, something Alec refrained from teasing him about too much. He wasn't even able to grow that truth be told.
"I doubt it. She is a social studies major. Met her through Madi."
Jensen sneered slightly. "Ohh, is she is a complete bitch too?"
"Hey, don't start." Alec shook his head.
"What? I have no idea why you waste your time with that girl. She is the worst."
"Funny, she says the same stuff about you." Alec smirked slightly
"You're just a fucking simp, bro." Jensen retorted. "Just because you put up with all the garbage she spouts doesn't mean she'll let you fuck her. She just likes having you hanging on and licking her ass. She'll never drop her panties for you, man."
Alec slowly turned his head and shot Jensen a look. Silence filled the air between them, thick and uncomfortable.
"Sorry." Jensen offered, knowing he'd crossed a line.
"Whatever. Super glad I came by to get insulted and hangout." Alec tried to joke it off but there was a slightly wounded look in his eye as he forced a smile. As if he needed reminding that Madison only ever seemed to see him as a 'best friend'. He got up, making to leave.
"Come on, I didn't mean it like that." Jensen tried.
"No, no. It's all good. I've got to meet Sarina anyway. Got some study work to do." Alec said. He wanted to talk about the fucking insane situation he'd been sweet talked into but Jensen seemed like the last person who'd be helpful there. He had made his position on interracial and 'race traitors' clear before. Even if he always claimed to be kidding, Alec knew his friend harboured some interesting beliefs.
"You free tomorrow?" Jensen offered.
"Maybe, I'll let you know."
"There he is!" Sarina greeted Alec, standing up from her study desk to embrace him. Her hair was styled in flowing waves around her shoulders, a shortened athletic hoodie exposed her toned midriff and matched with the tight leggings she wore. A pair of fashionable sneakers completed the look.
"Hey, Sarina. You good? Just got back from the gym?" Alec smiled, feeling a few butterflies as he hugged her.
"Oh, you noticed." Sarina smiled broadly before sitting back down again. Alec tried to not stare as just how good her ass looked in the tight material. "I've been going more recently. Girl's gotta stay in shape. You should come some time. Tone up a little."
Alec sat opposite Sarina, laughing a little. "I'm not really a gym guy, you know?"
"Oh I get that. But I'm not saying you've got to hammer out curls all day. Just come blast those glutes with me!" Sarina was already grabbing her laptop from her bag as she spoke, humming happily to herself. She seemed in an especially good mood.
"I'll think about it." Alec shrugged, imaging the view of Sarina squatting in her leggings. It was a pleasant image to say the least.
"Well, to business then?" Sarina replied. "I've read through you little reports. I must say, Alec, there perfect. Exactly the kind of information I need."
Alec smiled dumbly. "Glad you think so. It was a little strange... Writing about that stuff."
Sarina nodded, understanding. Her request for him to detail his post-orgasm thoughts and feelings was about as insane a request as Alec had ever had. But he had come this far. "I know it can feel awkward at first. But I feel like you grew a little more confident with you last two. And your personal details, I appreciate it Alec, really. It helps bring so much more data into context."
Alec felt his face tighten at the mention of the document he'd filled out. Building the courage to actually confess to Sarina about his physical short comings or complete lack of sexual experience, beyond vigorous masturbation. "Yeah, well, it's confidential, right?"
Sarina laughed slightly. "Yes! For the tenth time, it won't go beyond me. Have a little faith." She smiled, shaking her head slightly. "Right well, I want to say a few things of note. First off, this 'shame' you describe in all your reports. Where do you believe it stems from?"
Alec had been wondering this for a week now. He had some ideas but didn't exactly want to air them, even to Sarina. "I, I honestly don't know. Maybe to do with the ownership thing? My sub-conscious is still caught up on seeing that."
Sarina seemed to consider it for a second. "I disagree. I believe this shame is more basic. A more primitive drive then the racial aspect. I think you feel this shame because you are failing as a man." Alec turned red almost instantly, opening his mouth the protest the insult but Sarina continued, rolling over him. "Before you whine about it! It's not an insult. Let me explain. A basic biological drive for men is to reproduce via sex. It drives so much of what you idiots do. In this scenario though, you are expressing that sexual need, that drive through masturbation to quell the desire. However I am asking you to consider your position in this scene. Which is highlighting that, while you are unable to secure a mate to impregnate, another male is. You are watching other males fore fill their basic masculine drive. To fuck, basically. While you are not. This shame is spawned from being more aware of your situation. See what I mean?"
Alec remained silent for a second, trying to process everything she said. "I, I know what you mean, I think." He said slowly.
"See, I am not calling you a loser, Alec. You're great! But in the purely sexual, basic instinct driven world. You would be considered one which is why, when stripped back to thinking about things in this exchange of power, you feel shame." Sarina smiled across the table at him. "Don't feel bad! I'm actually super excited because this leads onto my next topic. Statistics!"
Alec was most defiantly feeling like a loser in that exact moment. Sarina seemed genuine in her words, but it didn't make the blow any less personal. She had basically said 'You only fuck your hand, Alec, so if we were back to basics you'd be a total loser.' "Statistics?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't you know it. It's not even your fault really, here." Sarina spun her laptop around to sit between them and she leant forward. On the screen were several different PDF files which had been opened, each with highly detailed breakdowns of various line graphs and flow charts. She gestured to one. "Here. The number of white males aged eighteen to twenty-five who remain virgins sits at sixty-four percent. Over half!" Sarina seemed delighted by the news, yet Alec frowned. Surely that couldn't be right? Over half of all white guys his age hadn't ever had sex? "So, this seems to be a trend for males in your demographic. You're hardly alone." Sarina spoke, matter-factly. As if that made it better.
"Where did you even get these?" Alec protested, reading several of the other papers quickly.
"My professor. She works with this research group. I want to intern with them so badly." Sarina chatted. She was so at ease discussing such subjects it threw Alec for a loop every time. "Another thing I think it great is your experience is tracked on here. For example, you reportedly experienced premature orgasms while watching, right? Well, look here." She pointed to another graph. Alec wanted to defend himself. Premature seemed a little extreme. Quicker than normal, sure but hardly premature. He gazed at the paper, reading aloud.
"The study concludes that roughly forty-three percent of white males aged eighteen to twenty-eight are classified as 'premature ejaculators'. Unable to deal with sexual simulations beyond five minutes. This is an increase of twenty percent in the same amount of years." he paused.
"See!" Sarina said, triumphantly. "This tracks with your experience. Almost half of white boys struggle with premature ejaculation."
"Hang on." Alec interrupted, feeling the sting of his pride and the need to defend himself a little. "I wouldn't say I am premature. Sure, I finished quicker when watching, you know."
"Blacked?" Sarina suggested, a little smug.
Alec paused, sighing. "Yes. That. But we talked about it before. Normally, I am way above five minutes!"
"That actually brings me to my next point." Sarina said, not put out by Alec's words. "You traditionally consumed this sort of content, correct?" She quickly tabbed into another file, pulling up a collection of videos. They were all Tiktoks or reels from Instagram depicting girls of various appearances either twerking, bouncing their tits or other suggestive things. Alec watched, his spark of defiance flickered in the face is the fat, juicy asses now shaking in front of him.
"Yeah, and?" He said, trying to maintain a sense of control.
"Well, I imagined you noticed that none of them are naked. I believe you've kind of programmed yourself. You've learnt to climax to non-nude women. You have been finishing to what most real men would consider teasing, or foreplay at best. And now that you are watching such intense, intimate displays of sex, your struggling to contain your sensitivity to it." Sarina finished, clearly a little pleased with her theory. Alec for his part remained silent for a second, thinking it through.
"What I might suggest, Alec. Is that you don't watch interracial for the next week or so. We'll pause that study. You return to, this" She waved vaguely at the the blonde girl on screen who was doing a bikini haul, her massive tits spilling out of every tiny piece of clothing she tried. "We can see if you return to 'normal' with your orgasm times with the change in content, or potentially we've added you the percent of white boys who just cum too quick. I'd be interested to see if interracial has perhaps triggered some sort of survival gene in you. A desperate need to ejaculate quickly in the face of competitors, perhaps. Or a sign of surrender, if you will." Sarina mused, gears in her head turning. Alec was too shocked to reply, blinking rapidly. He was having trouble tracking all that she was saying.
"This, this is a lot. I don't know how much of this is actually science." Alec spoke slowly, pulling his eyes away from the screen to look back at Sarina.
"Oh, of course, it must be a lot to take in all at once. I didn't mean to dump it all. I am just so excited to explore these theories!" She beamed, the light in her eye giving Alec a slightly unsettled feeling. "What I'll do is send you these studies. Read them. Take your time. Go back to masturbating as normal. No more Blacked, unless you need it of course." She smirked for a second before her face returned to normal. "We can go over this again next week. I'll have calmed down, you'll know the content. How about it?" She leaned over, touching his arm, even as a pair of girls on her laptop screen shook their clearly fake asses in tight leggings to a hiphop beat.
Alec was reeling but only nodded. The small voice in the back of his head returning, scolding him once more.
"Yeah, okay." was all he managed, his eyes gazing back into Sarina's cold, blue eyes. They glinted with a terrifying light which made Alec's stomach tighten. What had he gotten himself into now?
(Just a small aside to say thank you once more to everyone who's read and reacted to the story so far. I love hearing your ideas and imaginings for this project and hopefully, it continues to be an enjoyable read for you all. )
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