Your Wife... (YouTube)
Your wife, my bitch, Your love, my trick, Her mouth, my dick, We fucked, that's it. Every time I hear that song I can’t help thinking of what happened to Gary. I can't shake the image of him sobbing into his pillow, listening to Natalie getting shafted next door. The song was described as the "soundtrack to my breakup” by Gary. Fuck knows what reaction it triggers in him today.
I'd known Natalie at school and quite fancied her. She wasn’t classically beautiful, but she was very popular with the lads. Nat was a bawdy, working-class girl with a pretty face, medium-length dark hair, and large, firm breasts that always seemed to be jutting out at you. She was also known for her crude tongue. Honestly, she could crush your ego or give you a boner with her vulgar words. Her nickname at school was “Potty Mouth”.
I’d lusted after her, but never got to date her. I admit I fantasized about Natalie a lot after I moved down South.
Our paths didn’t cross again until almost eight years later. Gary, my best mate at school, was getting married and I’d been invited to the wedding. To my surprise, he was marrying Nat. I hadn’t even known they were dating.
I’d driven up the M1 that weekend feeling slightly concerned. I just couldn’t quite visualize them as a couple. Gary was meek and shy, while Nat had always been loud and outgoing. But nothing seemed amiss. The wedding took place at a quaint church in the Peak District. Both Nat and Gary were surrounded by friends and ******. The ceremony went well and the reception rocked. Natalie looked gorgeous. And it was great to see Gary looking so happy.
”Punching above your weight a bit aren’t you mate?” I’d said after I caught Gary alone. “You and fucking Potty Mouth eh?”
To be honest, my words had an element of truth. Natalie was hot all right, but Gary was not very attractive to be fair. I almost regretted my comment but he took it on the chin.
“Must be my irresistible charm” Gary said. We both laughed.
“So, how long have you two been dating? I asked
“Only four months,” Gary said. “Mate, I know…it’s not long. But believe me Mick, it feels right. I’ve had this thing for Nat since school. I know she’s the one for me, the one I want to settle down with.”
“If you’re sure pal,” I said.
“Sure as I’ve ever been,” Gary said “Next job is to buy a house”
“I’m chuffed for you,” I said. “You’ve scored yourself a good ‘un there. If you can tame Potty Mouth, there’s hope for us all”
I drove down to London the next day feeling warm and happy for my old friend – and a little jealous. I was single at the time and would have given a lot to spend a night with Natalie.
I’d connected with both Gary and Nat on Facebook, but I didn’t hear from either of them for another year. I knew they’d been in Ibiza. There had been some cryptic posts from Natalie that she’d never elaborated on. “Finally having some fun,” read one.
Not long after that, I received a text from Gary. “Mick, things are so fucked up in my marriage,” it said. “I need help pal. Can you get up North? I’d appreciate it.”
My mum and *** were overdue a visit so I agreed to meet him for a drink on the Friday before heading to my parents’ place. I drove up the M1 with a feeling of trepidation. The marriage had looked too good to be true. Hot lasses like Natalie would always have plenty of male attention, I thought. I’d always suspected that Gary would have a battle on his hands to keep her from going astray.
The pub we arranged to meet in was in the former Yorkshire pit village where Gary was living. It was typical of the old mining communities. The houses were small terraces, the landscape post-industrial, and there was little in the way of entertainment. About the only thing in the village’s favor was its proximity to Sheffield.
My first shock was Gary’s appearance. He looked tired and disheveled, sporting what looked like a fading bruise above his left eye. The second was that he was drinking. Gary had always been a teetotaller but that day he had a pint on the table and a shot of what looked like whisky.
“Now then mate,” I said. “What’s up?”
“She’s only gone and fucking left me,” Gary said.
”Don’t move pal,” I said, “Let me get you another.”
I headed to the bar, steeling myself to hear my friend’s sob story. They’d had a quarrel and she’d left him for another bloke, I thought. It wouldn’t be the first time a couple had broken up. Sad to hear, but surely we could have done this over the phone..
I returned to the table, handed Gary his pint, and sat down. Then I took a long gulp of my own.
“So, what’s been happening?” I said
”What’s been happening is that Natalie’s fucking the neighbor,” Gary said.
“Oh Christ,” I said. “Shit Gary, that’s tough for you. How long’s it been going on?”
”Months,” Gary said. “Honestly mate, it’s been going on for fucking months. It’s knocked the stuffing right out of me. She must know I can hear them at it. And now…”
His voice trailed off. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears.
“Hey pal, it’s okay, really,” I said, putting my arm around his shoulder. “Bloody lasses eh? Who needs ‘em? Nowt but fucking trouble”.
”It’s like she’s become another person,” Gary said. “Mick mate, I’ve lost all my fucking self-respect.”
”Really to hear that pal,” I said. “But I’m not sure what I can do.”
“What you can do is listen to me,” Gary said. “I know I look a right state. But I just need to tell somebody what happened. Before you make your mind up, before you judge me, just let me tell you what that fucking bitch did to me.”
I took a deep breath and prepared myself to hear the details of Nat’s infidelity. “All right. Go on then mate” I said. “Fire away”.
Gary downed his shot, took a sip of his pint, and began.
“I tried to be a decent husband,” he said. “Honest Mick, I didn’t do much wrong. But I guess it wasn’t enough, because at some point she just decided that she didn’t give a shit about me. ”
“Well, Nat always had a bit of a reputation," I said.
“I know,” Gary said. “I knew she’d been with plenty of blokes before me. I’d been warned about her. When we started dating Nat was seeing a couple of other guys. She had men hitting on her in the pub. But mate, she was so sweet to me at first. I thought she loved me. The day we married was the happiest of my life”
“So when did you and Nat start to have problems?” I said.
“Almost immediately,” Gary said. “After the mortgage had been approved, we moved out here. I bought the house and she furnished it. I got a job working at the Amazon depot off the M18. It’s not ideal. My commute was worse than I expected. I was exhausted after my shifts.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes it can be hard to keep on top of things, just keep up with life.”
”Even though I was knackered, I tried to make time for her”. Gary said. “Thing is, she’s got a massive appetite. Booze, sex, you name it. I couldn’t keep pace.”
“She was over-demanding?” I said. “Some women can be that way for sure.”
“She wanted to go to go to the fucking pub every night.” Gary continued. “I went along with her. I listened to her and laughed at her jokes. You know I didn’t used to drink, so I’d be buying her white wines while I sipped zero strength.”
“Go on..” I said.
“Well, after each wine she became more fucking amorous”, Gary said. “Drinking made her want to fuck.”
“That’s not a bad thing surely,” I said. “Having a horny wife.”
”Oh, she turned me on all right.” said Gary. “She had a body like a fucking pornstar mate. But like I said, it was too much for me. That fucking dirty mouth of hers. She became forward when she was pissed up. I’d have to half-carry her home from the pub. She’d be saying stuff like ‘Are you going to give this horny slut what she needs?’ and ‘I’m feeling like such a dirty whore tonight.”
I imagined Natalie saying those words to me and felt my cock stir.
”Listen, mate,” he lowered his voice. ”It’s embarrassing to say it, but I always blew my load too soon. I couldn’t help it. She was so fucking sexy. It was like her dirty mouth sent me over the edge.”
“Go on,” I said.
“I even tried wearing a cock ring. You know, to extend my performance,” Gary said. “But it kept slipping off. Nat laughed at me. The bitch cracked up laughing. She said I should have bought a smaller size. It was fucking humiliating.”
I suddenly felt embarrassed for Gary.
“Weren’t you planning on having kids?” I said, trying to move the conversation on.
Gary didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he closed his eyes for a moment, like he was trying to summon up the right words.
“Yes, I wanted kids, we both did,” Gary said. “I even mapped out her ovulation dates. We’d been planning on taking a holiday. You know, like a delayed honeymoon. I’d booked time off work to coincide with Nat’s peak ovulation period. If could relax I thought I’d have the best chance of knocking her up.”
“The thing is, she was expecting me to take her somewhere exotic like the fucking Seychelles” Gary continued. “Mate, my job paid little more than the minimum. I’d had to take out a loan on top of the mortgage to buy the house. I couldn’t justify a holiday abroad. But when I suggested Bridlington she became fucking hostile.”
“What did she say? “ I said
“She said: "Do I look like the kind of bird who takes holidays in fucking Brid?”
"God, what an ungrateful bitch!” I said. “What did you do? “
“Nothing,” Gary said. “What could I do? Nat started sulking like a petulant kid. I kept looking for something affordable. But every time I checked the websites, holidays abroad seemed to cost more.”
“Whenever I tried to speak about our finances she got the face on,” Gary said. “She said that I’d promised to show her the best of everything. She kept accusing me of deceiving her.”
“But didn’t you end up going Ibiza in the end?” I said. “You found a decent deal, right?”
Gary stared at me, as though the memory was almost too painful to bear
“No Carl found us the holiday,” he said. “Carl is the bloke who’s shafting Nat. He started fucking her in Ibiza”
There was a long silence
“Shit man, how could that happen?” I said, “That was supposed to be your honeymoon, right?”
“Like Nat gave a shit,” Gary said.
“So how did it happen?” I said. “Her meeting this bloke?”
“As I said, Carl was our neighbor,” Gary said. “We thought that the house next door was empty. It had been a bit of a mystery since we moved in. But then in the evenings, we’d hear loud music and groans, like lasses were getting shagged. On a couple of occasions, I’d seen lasses leaving in the morning, and once I saw an expensive car pull up with two black blokes inside”.
“I wasn’t home much due to my job“. Gary said “Nat didn’t work, so she was around more than me. So one evening she told me that she’d met our neighbor. Carl was his name. She said he seemed nice enough, and that he didn’t live there full time. He had another place in Leeds, by the river. She didn’t say much else.”
“So did you end up meeting him, this Carl?”
Gary shuddered. “Yes I did,” he said. “I met him one Saturday night soon afterward. Natalie had gone into Sheffield for a girl’s night out. I was home watching the football. Suddenly this song started playing next door. It was rap or hip-hop, I don’t know the fucking difference to be honest. But it was loud enough to drown out the game.”
“Go on”
“The music had the most sexist lyrics. Your wife, my bitch it went.“ It seemed to be bragging about stealing other men’s wives. It was fucking awful. In the end, I decided to ask whoever was responsible to turn it down. So I knocked on the door and this big black guy answered. Handsome fucker he was, muscular, wearing a vest and gold chains. To be honest I was a little scared of him.“
“I said "Sorry mate. I live next door. I was just wondering if you might turn your music down a touch. The walls are pretty thin."
“It’s Saturday night and it ain't late," he replied. "Now fuck off!" And then he slammed the door in my face.”
“I presume that was Carl, right?” I said. “Fucking rude of him if you ask me.”
“Honestly, Mick, I didn’t know what to think,” Gary said. “When Natalie finally arrived home, the music had stopped. I told her what had happened but she wasn’t exactly fucking sympathetic. She was more interested in scolding me for not getting any more wine in.”
“So you and Nat weren’t getting along?” I said.
“It wasn’t so bad then,” Gary said. “Later it got much worse. I’d made an appointment at the fertility clinic, and we went together. My sperm was non-viable or so the doctor told me. Even with IVF, there was only a small chance Nat would catch. It was like a punch to the gut”.
“Shit man. What was Nat’s reaction?”
Gary paused, as though he was trying to recall her words.
“She said: ‘Oh that’s just fucking great. The icing on the disappointment cake.”
I grimaced.
“I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t the end of the world,” Gary said. “Many couples have similar problems, and there are other ways of achieving pregnancy. I even suggested adoption, But she didn’t want to know. ‘You’re a disappointment to me,’ she said. “What the fuck did I let myself in for with you?”
“Heartless cow,” I said. “Nothing like kicking a man when he’s down”.
“To make matters worse, she stopped wanting to sleep with me” Gary continued. “It was like she was rejecting me. Then, not long after the news from the clinic we ran into Carl on the street. Nat acted right friendly with him, almost flirty, in complete contrast to how she’d been acting with me. In the end, I just went home and left them to chat. To my annoyance, she carried on talking to him for about twenty minutes on the street while I watched them through the window. Mate, I felt then she was deliberately trying to make me jealous.”
“I feel for you,” I said. “Women can be right bitches”
“Anyway, Carl became a sore point after that,” Gary said. “We ran into him a few times more times on the street and here in the pub. I knew he was bad news.”
“I felt he was flirting with Nat,” Gary said. “We were sat in the smoking terrace outside” Gary gestured to his right. “He made her laugh, and I sensed a kind of animal magnetism between them. You know, women give off signs, right? She was kind of thrusting her breasts towards him as they spoke, and displaying her neck."
“Right.” I said.
“Anyway, during the weeks that followed we didn’t just argue about the holiday,” Gary said. “We started arguing about small things. She became angry about my leaving hair in the bathroom or not cleaning the kitchen to her liking. Like I said, we were sleeping apart. It was like she didn’t fancy me anymore. Life stopped being any fun. “
“Crap mate!” I said.
“Anyway, she must have mentioned our holiday problems to Carl because the next thing I knew he was offering us a week at a swanky hotel in Ibiza. Two of his friends had pulled out of a package holiday, and he was hoping that me and Natalie would make up the numbers. All he wanted was 400 quid each, full board, including flights. And it was the same week as our planned holiday.”
“Nat had always wanted to visit Ibiza,” Gary continued. “The hotel was one of the top party places on the island, according to Carl. It was a favorite of soap stars from Corrie. Natalie loves her soaps. When she saw pictures of some of the younger cast of Corrie partying by the hotel pool, she was sold.“
“So how did you react?” I said
“Mate, I didn’t get a fucking say in the matter” Gary said. “It was like Nat decided on the spot. ‘All our problems are solved’ she said.
“I wasn’t so sure“. Gary said“ I wanted the vacation to be just me and Natalie, time to reconnect and rediscover our intimacy I didn't know if I could relax sharing the holiday with Carl and one of his bitches. I tried to say something, but she just cut me off. ‘What’s the alternative?’ she said. ‘Fucking Brid?”
“What could I do?” Gary said. “In the end, to keep her happy, I agreed to take the tickets. It was the worst decision of my fucking life."
“Fancy another pint?” I said.
Part Two
Your wife, my bitch, Your love, my trick, Her mouth, my dick, We fucked, that's it. Every time I hear that song I can’t help thinking of what happened to Gary. I can't shake the image of him sobbing into his pillow, listening to Natalie getting shafted next door. The song was described as the "soundtrack to my breakup” by Gary. Fuck knows what reaction it triggers in him today.
I'd known Natalie at school and quite fancied her. She wasn’t classically beautiful, but she was very popular with the lads. Nat was a bawdy, working-class girl with a pretty face, medium-length dark hair, and large, firm breasts that always seemed to be jutting out at you. She was also known for her crude tongue. Honestly, she could crush your ego or give you a boner with her vulgar words. Her nickname at school was “Potty Mouth”.
I’d lusted after her, but never got to date her. I admit I fantasized about Natalie a lot after I moved down South.
Our paths didn’t cross again until almost eight years later. Gary, my best mate at school, was getting married and I’d been invited to the wedding. To my surprise, he was marrying Nat. I hadn’t even known they were dating.
I’d driven up the M1 that weekend feeling slightly concerned. I just couldn’t quite visualize them as a couple. Gary was meek and shy, while Nat had always been loud and outgoing. But nothing seemed amiss. The wedding took place at a quaint church in the Peak District. Both Nat and Gary were surrounded by friends and ******. The ceremony went well and the reception rocked. Natalie looked gorgeous. And it was great to see Gary looking so happy.
”Punching above your weight a bit aren’t you mate?” I’d said after I caught Gary alone. “You and fucking Potty Mouth eh?”
To be honest, my words had an element of truth. Natalie was hot all right, but Gary was not very attractive to be fair. I almost regretted my comment but he took it on the chin.
“Must be my irresistible charm” Gary said. We both laughed.
“So, how long have you two been dating? I asked
“Only four months,” Gary said. “Mate, I know…it’s not long. But believe me Mick, it feels right. I’ve had this thing for Nat since school. I know she’s the one for me, the one I want to settle down with.”
“If you’re sure pal,” I said.
“Sure as I’ve ever been,” Gary said “Next job is to buy a house”
“I’m chuffed for you,” I said. “You’ve scored yourself a good ‘un there. If you can tame Potty Mouth, there’s hope for us all”
I drove down to London the next day feeling warm and happy for my old friend – and a little jealous. I was single at the time and would have given a lot to spend a night with Natalie.
I’d connected with both Gary and Nat on Facebook, but I didn’t hear from either of them for another year. I knew they’d been in Ibiza. There had been some cryptic posts from Natalie that she’d never elaborated on. “Finally having some fun,” read one.
Not long after that, I received a text from Gary. “Mick, things are so fucked up in my marriage,” it said. “I need help pal. Can you get up North? I’d appreciate it.”
My mum and *** were overdue a visit so I agreed to meet him for a drink on the Friday before heading to my parents’ place. I drove up the M1 with a feeling of trepidation. The marriage had looked too good to be true. Hot lasses like Natalie would always have plenty of male attention, I thought. I’d always suspected that Gary would have a battle on his hands to keep her from going astray.
The pub we arranged to meet in was in the former Yorkshire pit village where Gary was living. It was typical of the old mining communities. The houses were small terraces, the landscape post-industrial, and there was little in the way of entertainment. About the only thing in the village’s favor was its proximity to Sheffield.
My first shock was Gary’s appearance. He looked tired and disheveled, sporting what looked like a fading bruise above his left eye. The second was that he was drinking. Gary had always been a teetotaller but that day he had a pint on the table and a shot of what looked like whisky.
“Now then mate,” I said. “What’s up?”
“She’s only gone and fucking left me,” Gary said.
”Don’t move pal,” I said, “Let me get you another.”
I headed to the bar, steeling myself to hear my friend’s sob story. They’d had a quarrel and she’d left him for another bloke, I thought. It wouldn’t be the first time a couple had broken up. Sad to hear, but surely we could have done this over the phone..
I returned to the table, handed Gary his pint, and sat down. Then I took a long gulp of my own.
“So, what’s been happening?” I said
”What’s been happening is that Natalie’s fucking the neighbor,” Gary said.
“Oh Christ,” I said. “Shit Gary, that’s tough for you. How long’s it been going on?”
”Months,” Gary said. “Honestly mate, it’s been going on for fucking months. It’s knocked the stuffing right out of me. She must know I can hear them at it. And now…”
His voice trailed off. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears.
“Hey pal, it’s okay, really,” I said, putting my arm around his shoulder. “Bloody lasses eh? Who needs ‘em? Nowt but fucking trouble”.
”It’s like she’s become another person,” Gary said. “Mick mate, I’ve lost all my fucking self-respect.”
”Really to hear that pal,” I said. “But I’m not sure what I can do.”
“What you can do is listen to me,” Gary said. “I know I look a right state. But I just need to tell somebody what happened. Before you make your mind up, before you judge me, just let me tell you what that fucking bitch did to me.”
I took a deep breath and prepared myself to hear the details of Nat’s infidelity. “All right. Go on then mate” I said. “Fire away”.
Gary downed his shot, took a sip of his pint, and began.
“I tried to be a decent husband,” he said. “Honest Mick, I didn’t do much wrong. But I guess it wasn’t enough, because at some point she just decided that she didn’t give a shit about me. ”
“Well, Nat always had a bit of a reputation," I said.
“I know,” Gary said. “I knew she’d been with plenty of blokes before me. I’d been warned about her. When we started dating Nat was seeing a couple of other guys. She had men hitting on her in the pub. But mate, she was so sweet to me at first. I thought she loved me. The day we married was the happiest of my life”
“So when did you and Nat start to have problems?” I said.
“Almost immediately,” Gary said. “After the mortgage had been approved, we moved out here. I bought the house and she furnished it. I got a job working at the Amazon depot off the M18. It’s not ideal. My commute was worse than I expected. I was exhausted after my shifts.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes it can be hard to keep on top of things, just keep up with life.”
”Even though I was knackered, I tried to make time for her”. Gary said. “Thing is, she’s got a massive appetite. Booze, sex, you name it. I couldn’t keep pace.”
“She was over-demanding?” I said. “Some women can be that way for sure.”
“She wanted to go to go to the fucking pub every night.” Gary continued. “I went along with her. I listened to her and laughed at her jokes. You know I didn’t used to drink, so I’d be buying her white wines while I sipped zero strength.”
“Go on..” I said.
“Well, after each wine she became more fucking amorous”, Gary said. “Drinking made her want to fuck.”
“That’s not a bad thing surely,” I said. “Having a horny wife.”
”Oh, she turned me on all right.” said Gary. “She had a body like a fucking pornstar mate. But like I said, it was too much for me. That fucking dirty mouth of hers. She became forward when she was pissed up. I’d have to half-carry her home from the pub. She’d be saying stuff like ‘Are you going to give this horny slut what she needs?’ and ‘I’m feeling like such a dirty whore tonight.”
I imagined Natalie saying those words to me and felt my cock stir.
”Listen, mate,” he lowered his voice. ”It’s embarrassing to say it, but I always blew my load too soon. I couldn’t help it. She was so fucking sexy. It was like her dirty mouth sent me over the edge.”
“Go on,” I said.
“I even tried wearing a cock ring. You know, to extend my performance,” Gary said. “But it kept slipping off. Nat laughed at me. The bitch cracked up laughing. She said I should have bought a smaller size. It was fucking humiliating.”
I suddenly felt embarrassed for Gary.
“Weren’t you planning on having kids?” I said, trying to move the conversation on.
Gary didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he closed his eyes for a moment, like he was trying to summon up the right words.
“Yes, I wanted kids, we both did,” Gary said. “I even mapped out her ovulation dates. We’d been planning on taking a holiday. You know, like a delayed honeymoon. I’d booked time off work to coincide with Nat’s peak ovulation period. If could relax I thought I’d have the best chance of knocking her up.”
“The thing is, she was expecting me to take her somewhere exotic like the fucking Seychelles” Gary continued. “Mate, my job paid little more than the minimum. I’d had to take out a loan on top of the mortgage to buy the house. I couldn’t justify a holiday abroad. But when I suggested Bridlington she became fucking hostile.”
“What did she say? “ I said
“She said: "Do I look like the kind of bird who takes holidays in fucking Brid?”
"God, what an ungrateful bitch!” I said. “What did you do? “
“Nothing,” Gary said. “What could I do? Nat started sulking like a petulant kid. I kept looking for something affordable. But every time I checked the websites, holidays abroad seemed to cost more.”
“Whenever I tried to speak about our finances she got the face on,” Gary said. “She said that I’d promised to show her the best of everything. She kept accusing me of deceiving her.”
“But didn’t you end up going Ibiza in the end?” I said. “You found a decent deal, right?”
Gary stared at me, as though the memory was almost too painful to bear
“No Carl found us the holiday,” he said. “Carl is the bloke who’s shafting Nat. He started fucking her in Ibiza”
There was a long silence
“Shit man, how could that happen?” I said, “That was supposed to be your honeymoon, right?”
“Like Nat gave a shit,” Gary said.
“So how did it happen?” I said. “Her meeting this bloke?”
“As I said, Carl was our neighbor,” Gary said. “We thought that the house next door was empty. It had been a bit of a mystery since we moved in. But then in the evenings, we’d hear loud music and groans, like lasses were getting shagged. On a couple of occasions, I’d seen lasses leaving in the morning, and once I saw an expensive car pull up with two black blokes inside”.
“I wasn’t home much due to my job“. Gary said “Nat didn’t work, so she was around more than me. So one evening she told me that she’d met our neighbor. Carl was his name. She said he seemed nice enough, and that he didn’t live there full time. He had another place in Leeds, by the river. She didn’t say much else.”
“So did you end up meeting him, this Carl?”
Gary shuddered. “Yes I did,” he said. “I met him one Saturday night soon afterward. Natalie had gone into Sheffield for a girl’s night out. I was home watching the football. Suddenly this song started playing next door. It was rap or hip-hop, I don’t know the fucking difference to be honest. But it was loud enough to drown out the game.”
“Go on”
“The music had the most sexist lyrics. Your wife, my bitch it went.“ It seemed to be bragging about stealing other men’s wives. It was fucking awful. In the end, I decided to ask whoever was responsible to turn it down. So I knocked on the door and this big black guy answered. Handsome fucker he was, muscular, wearing a vest and gold chains. To be honest I was a little scared of him.“
“I said "Sorry mate. I live next door. I was just wondering if you might turn your music down a touch. The walls are pretty thin."
“It’s Saturday night and it ain't late," he replied. "Now fuck off!" And then he slammed the door in my face.”
“I presume that was Carl, right?” I said. “Fucking rude of him if you ask me.”
“Honestly, Mick, I didn’t know what to think,” Gary said. “When Natalie finally arrived home, the music had stopped. I told her what had happened but she wasn’t exactly fucking sympathetic. She was more interested in scolding me for not getting any more wine in.”
“So you and Nat weren’t getting along?” I said.
“It wasn’t so bad then,” Gary said. “Later it got much worse. I’d made an appointment at the fertility clinic, and we went together. My sperm was non-viable or so the doctor told me. Even with IVF, there was only a small chance Nat would catch. It was like a punch to the gut”.
“Shit man. What was Nat’s reaction?”
Gary paused, as though he was trying to recall her words.
“She said: ‘Oh that’s just fucking great. The icing on the disappointment cake.”
I grimaced.
“I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t the end of the world,” Gary said. “Many couples have similar problems, and there are other ways of achieving pregnancy. I even suggested adoption, But she didn’t want to know. ‘You’re a disappointment to me,’ she said. “What the fuck did I let myself in for with you?”
“Heartless cow,” I said. “Nothing like kicking a man when he’s down”.
“To make matters worse, she stopped wanting to sleep with me” Gary continued. “It was like she was rejecting me. Then, not long after the news from the clinic we ran into Carl on the street. Nat acted right friendly with him, almost flirty, in complete contrast to how she’d been acting with me. In the end, I just went home and left them to chat. To my annoyance, she carried on talking to him for about twenty minutes on the street while I watched them through the window. Mate, I felt then she was deliberately trying to make me jealous.”
“I feel for you,” I said. “Women can be right bitches”
“Anyway, Carl became a sore point after that,” Gary said. “We ran into him a few times more times on the street and here in the pub. I knew he was bad news.”
“I felt he was flirting with Nat,” Gary said. “We were sat in the smoking terrace outside” Gary gestured to his right. “He made her laugh, and I sensed a kind of animal magnetism between them. You know, women give off signs, right? She was kind of thrusting her breasts towards him as they spoke, and displaying her neck."
“Right.” I said.
“Anyway, during the weeks that followed we didn’t just argue about the holiday,” Gary said. “We started arguing about small things. She became angry about my leaving hair in the bathroom or not cleaning the kitchen to her liking. Like I said, we were sleeping apart. It was like she didn’t fancy me anymore. Life stopped being any fun. “
“Crap mate!” I said.
“Anyway, she must have mentioned our holiday problems to Carl because the next thing I knew he was offering us a week at a swanky hotel in Ibiza. Two of his friends had pulled out of a package holiday, and he was hoping that me and Natalie would make up the numbers. All he wanted was 400 quid each, full board, including flights. And it was the same week as our planned holiday.”
“Nat had always wanted to visit Ibiza,” Gary continued. “The hotel was one of the top party places on the island, according to Carl. It was a favorite of soap stars from Corrie. Natalie loves her soaps. When she saw pictures of some of the younger cast of Corrie partying by the hotel pool, she was sold.“
“So how did you react?” I said
“Mate, I didn’t get a fucking say in the matter” Gary said. “It was like Nat decided on the spot. ‘All our problems are solved’ she said.
“I wasn’t so sure“. Gary said“ I wanted the vacation to be just me and Natalie, time to reconnect and rediscover our intimacy I didn't know if I could relax sharing the holiday with Carl and one of his bitches. I tried to say something, but she just cut me off. ‘What’s the alternative?’ she said. ‘Fucking Brid?”
“What could I do?” Gary said. “In the end, to keep her happy, I agreed to take the tickets. It was the worst decision of my fucking life."
“Fancy another pint?” I said.
Part Two
