The Conversion Class

Alec let out a small whistle, throwing a quick glance back and a thanks to his driver before closing the car door behind him. He had grabbed a ride over to Sarina's gym, nervous butterflies doing loops in his stomach as he'd sat in the back seat, clutching his bag. The building before him was a large, old industrial looking place, the faded red brick and large iron widows in contrast to the sleek set of automatic doors which led in. A suitably 'vintage' sign hung above the doors and confirmed he was in the right place. Alec shouldered his bag and swallowed his nerves. This little 'date' had been at the fore-front of his mind for the last day. His thoughts running away from reality to imagine Sarina in the perfect, matching tight outfit. Her toned torso displayed, her perfectly sculpted ass shifting and moving inside a pair of leggings which clung to her. Sweat slicked hair and a wide smile. Perhaps she would need him to help stretch or perform some exercise which would pull the two of them close. Alec knew he was allowing an unrealistic fantasy to form but it was enjoyable none the less. Now though, on game day as it were, he was acutely aware of how little he knew about gym culture. Beyond the reels he had seen on Insta from time to time, his knowledge was lacking. He didn't think he had ever even deadlifted anything in his life.

Walking through the double doors, Alec was greeted by a blast of fresh, cool air. A light scent was also carried on the breeze of the AC unit which was pleasant. A modern interior, stylishly appointed greeted him too. He stood awkwardly before seeing the reception and hurriedly walking over. He looked around, hoping Sarina would stroll in and save him from the sudden sense of uncertainty. There were two people at the reception desk. The first a tall, dark skinned woman with a large mane of curly black hair. Her facial features were stunning, sharp eyes, high cheek bones and perfect jawline. She was on the phone and didn't even glance up at Alec as he approached. The other figure seemed a bit more friendly. Initially Alec had thought 'she' but upon getting closer, noticed the person was a man, if a very effeminate one at that. He seemed young, not much older than Alec. His pitch black hair was styled in a pixie cut, a small hair clip adding a feminine edge. Over-sized glasses sat atop his smooth, pale face. Winged eyeliner and a little blush only increased his androgyny. A small black nametag identified him as 'Lucas'.

"Hi there." Lucas smiled up at Alec. "How are you today?"

"Uhmm, good, thanks." Alec was little caught off guard, his imagination clearly setting him on edge. Half-a-dozen different made up scenarios where he was laughed out of the gym for no real reason had been running through his head.

"How can I help you?" The man offered.

"I was meeting a friend here. Sarina. I don't know if she's in there already or.." Alec shrugged, smiling nervously. But Lucas' face broadened in understanding, a large smile giving way.

"Yes! Alec, right? Sarina mentioned you'd be joining us for a little trail sesh today. Not a problem. She's already in there. I'll give you a visitor card and show you the locker rooms. Don't need to both with many forms or anything, Sarina has vouched for you." Lucas quickly began typing at his computer, humming quietly. The woman next to him, her name tag said 'Sara' glanced over when Sarina was mentioned, her stony facial expression switching to a friendly smile. She gave a little wave at Alec before focusing back on her phone call. He nodded in response, feeling much better about this already. Everyone seemed nice.

"Here we go." Lucas grabbed a small white card and handed it to Alec across the desk. A small slip of paper also came across. "I will need just a quick signature here. Nothing major. Just saying if you drop a dumbbell on your foot, you're not going to sue us. " He laughed as he stood, revealing his outfit. A top fitted white polo was tucked into a tight pair of short which rode up a pair of rather smooth and sculpted thighs. Lucas came around the desk and gestured for Alec to follow once he had slid the paper back, Sara taking it with a nod. He then led them to a set of blacked out doors before tapping his own card against a screen set in the wall. It beeped at them and the doors slide back.

"Sarina is obsessed with you." Lucas grinned back at Alec as the two began down a corridor, neatly appointed with plants and exposed brickwork. Alec felt himself blush at the idea of Sarina talking about him. Yet he tried to play it cool.

"Oh yeah? In a good way I hope." He replied.

"The best way. Nothing but positives I swear." Lucas turned a corner and tapped another keypad in the wall, the male signed locker room opening up for them. "She did say you weren't much of a gym guy, but we can change that. It's not as frat-bro douchie as you might think, I promise."

The locker rooms were very modern and Alec wondered how much membership here costed. A good amount based on what he had seen so far. Dozens of locks, all neatly built into the walls and with keypads rather than simple locks. Several benches, wash basins and toilets as well as another door which led into what he assumed was the showers. Lucas spun on his heel, beaming at Alec.

"So, we have some complimentary gym gear, it is mandatory." He opened a large locker which was standing apart from the others, a staff only sign marking it out. Inside, among other various odds and ends were several stacks of clothing, wrapped in clear plastic. Lucas glanced Alec up and down thoughtfully. He then grabbed a set and threw them to Alec. "Give them a try. Your own sneakers are permitted of course. We've found having standardized clothing avoids any issues with peoples personal attire choices."

"Sure." Alec shrugged. He didn't know anything about gym culture and truth be told, he had only brought a rather old white-tee and a pair of ill fitting basketball shorts. The clothes he'd been given were similar to Lucas'. A white top which hugged the upper body and a pair of shorts which seemed to be a little too short and were probably a little too tight as well. But Alec accepted them and glanced round sheepishly.

"Oh, I'll give you some privacy. There are some private stalls through that way and to the right. Showers on the left. Once you are done, back this and just through the doors we passed, okay?" Lucas smiled wide at Alec, lingering for a moment before disappearing off. Alec did feel like he'd been suddenly abandoned but quickly thought of Sarina. He followed the instructions and grabbed one of the private changing stalls, not really wanting to expose his slim, lithe build to any massive gym jock types. His self-confidence feeling battered by just being here. He was right about the shorts as well. They hugged his lower half, riding up around his thighs. The material felt pleasant though, certainly not cheap. Alec then found a guest locker and stored his bag before checking his phone. Sarina had text him. She was waiting inside for him.

"There he is!" Sarina called out, smiling broadly at Alec as he approached. She had been standing on the other side of the doors into the main gym area. Alec had felt his tongue catch as he saw her outfit. A sports bra like top clung to her upper body, black with a white band around the bottom half. It exposed much of her toned stomach as well as a good amount of her modest cleavage. A matching pair of black tights and a vibrant pair of sneakers completed the look. Alec, despite himself couldn't help but notice the similarities between her top and the lingerie many of the Blacked models wore. He pushed the idea away even as it made him blush.

"Hey you." He managed back, the two hugging quickly before Sarina glanced around, gesturing with a hand.

"So, what do you think? Pretty nice huh?"

"It is. Really. Felt out of place you know." Alec laughed a little.

"Don't! This place is so good and it's because they are super selective over members here. Everyone is amazing." Sarina started to walk over to a corner of the gym with some matts and cardio machines. "So I thought we'd keep it simple for you first day. Just some light warm up and a few weights. Nice and easy." Alec caught himself staring at Sarina's perfect ass as it shifted and moved in her leggings. She looked over her shoulders at him, a wicked smile on her lips. He looked away quickly but doubted he'd been subtle.

"Sounds good!" He tried shifting the attention away from his wandering eyes.

"How have you been? Busy?" Sarina offered, making no other sign she had caught his peeping.

"Oh you know, assignments and stuff. Never seems to end."

"Preaching to the converted." Sarina replied.

The two continued to chat idly as Sarina began to lead them through some basic warm ups. Alec often found himself adjusting the shorts as they kept riding up his backside or slipping up his thighs. Sarina moved with such grace and practiced skill, he felt clumsy and awkward in comparison. Yet she only encouraged him as they stretched. Alec tried his best to keep his vision off her body as it moved but failed. Seeing her spread her legs and pull on the ends of her sneakers or watching her ass flex as she pulled a leg out behind her to warm up. Luckily the exercise helped hide his reddening cheeks. Sarina then led them into a series of machines, almost exclusively targeting the legs and glutes. Alec was amazed by some of the weights Sarina could manage but certainly didn't complain as he was treated to the sight of her perfect round ass flexing and working. His own efforts weren't half bad for a beginner, according to Sarina anyway. Their 'research preyed on his mind though. The knowledge that while they seemed like any pair of gym buddies on the outside, his and Sarina's relationship was anything but normal. Her collection of documented files on him and his masturbation habits put any semblance of 'normal' relationship to bed.

"Sarina." Alec started, already struggling to find the words to bring up what he was thinking.

"Alec." She replied quickly, grinning as she breathed deeply, finishing another set.

Alec smiled slightly, but forged on. "I've been thinking. Our project together. How long do you think we need to do it? Like, what is the actual goal? Where is the end?"

Sarina frowned, looking up at him as he leaned on the machine, running a hand nervously through his hair. "I mean, I haven't thought too much on the end right now. It's more about discovering where that end is. We already established some parts of my theory. We now just exploring and expanding on the emotions our research is invoking within you." She paused, grabbing her water bottle from beside her feet and taking a sip. "You don't want to keep going?" A slightly surprised and even sad tone crept into her voice as she gazed at him, concern clear on her face.

"It's not that.." Alec quickly tried, cursing himself for his inability to speak his mind confidently. "I've just been feeling less and less... I am worried more about the effects I guess."

"Like what?" Sarina asked, still concerned as she looked up at Alec.

He searched for the right words. How to explain his feelings of being a 'loser' or failure. How it felt so, weird to watch black men fuck and dominate girls he only dreamt of. How the mixed feelings of pleasure and shame always rolled over him post orgasm and clouded his thoughts. How, recently the content he watched before was now corrupted by thoughts of interracial and how that had only seemed to double the shame(and pleasure) of his post-nut experience.
"It's complicated." He began.

"Try me, Alec. If you don't want to continue, we won't. But you owe me and explanation as to why you want out. At the very least." Sarina cut in straight away, her eyes pinning Alec to the spot.

"So, I went back to 'normal' content, right?" Alec started.

"Non-interracial. 'Normal' implies that interracial is abnormal." Sarina once again cut in, her words pointed but not unkind.

Alec conceded, nodding quickly. "Yeah, that. So, back to the stuff I watched before you or Madison. Just trying to, reset as it were." Sarina nodded and Alec powered on. "But recently I've found certain, images are still finding their way in. I'll watch something and fantasies of the, interracial stuff kinda creep in." Sarina remained silent, only looking a little thoughtful and gesturing for him to carry on. Alec glanced around, feeling a little awkward with their surroundings. "I those negative feelings, shame and stuff like that seem even greater when that happens. Post.. Post the end. I feel so..."Alec searched for the right word, longing for something which didn't sound pathetic.

"Emasculated?" Sarina offered, causing Alec to bulk a little. She shrugged, seeing his reaction. "Weak? Angry? What?"

"No! None of those." Alec replied, a little too quickly. he paused for a second, struggling to come up with any other words which captured his emotions. "Well, maybe some. Or all mixed into one? I don't know. I just, don't feel good. That's all I know!" Alec was feeling flustered. This whole thing having gotten away from him so quickly.

Sarina took a moment to respond. "I see. Can I offer a theory?" Alec nodded, looking annoyed, at himself more than anything else. "Well, perhaps these emotions. These mixed bag of negative feelings coming to you post orgasm are a part of you that you don't want to accept. I think we are beginning to crack the fragile, white male ego you have inside, Alec." She saw his confused expression and carried on. "So, to begin. Watching a black male make love to a white woman triggered a degree of uncertainty within you. But, the pleasure of something different and new, excited you. It was the focus. The color contrast, the quality of Blacked. But we've been moving past that. I've been asking you to see it as more than just porn or visual stimulus. I've asked you to explore the internal feelings you've experienced and to dig deeper than mere surface level. As you begin to see the porn as more than just sex, but for its implications and wider effects, you buried, internalized racism is starting to show."

"I am not a racist!" Alec quickly cut in, desperate to defend himself. Yet Sarina simply held up a hand and waited for him to be silent.

"I am not saying you are, Alec. Not in the way you are thinking anyway. You see it as this outward, over the top attitude of hatred or aggression towards non-whites. It's more than that. Part of you is struggling to accept the idea of black men having sex with white woman. With 'your' women. Part of you, as we dig a little deeper is trying to protect 'your' tribe as it were. Even if you are outwardly accepting and happy around black men, you still don't see them as fit partners for white woman. It's why you feel emasculated or weak. Your racism is trying to call you to action, to be the one with those woman and shame you for taking pleasure in seeing them with non-white men." Sarina finished. "Well, that would be my first thought anyway."

Alec tried to process all of that. His mind surged to defend himself as Sarina casually said that even if he didn't think he was, he was racist. But her words seemed to strike a degree of truth as he mulled them over.

"Look, Alec. I'm sure this isn't easy to hear. Or explore. But it is why I want to continue down this road with you. If you want out, that is fine. I can't make you do it. But you would be accepting your own racism and not trying to work through it. And I don't know if I want to be around someone who knows their privilege but does nothing to fix it because their 'scared' or feel small."

"Sarina.." Alec spoke, shocked. He felt like he'd been sent back in time. Remembering the conversation that had triggered the events of the past month or so. How Madison had threated to cut him out of her life for his racist views. Supposed racist views. And now here Sarina was, implying the same.

"Listen. If you want to get through this. Why not lean into those fantasies? Instead of enjoying that content and having these thoughts 'creep' in and feeling ashamed, go in thinking about it. You won't be watching interracial per say, but say you watch a TikTok with a girl twerking. Maybe let your thoughts embrace the idea of her and a black male? Focus on the pleasure it brings rather than the shame of missing out. Try mantras and repetition. It's okay to masturbate to black men and white woman together." Sarina offered, standing up and staring at Alec with an understanding look. "Why don't you give it a try? If you are still feeling like calling it quits, okay. We'll go our separate ways. No hard feelings. But, I would ask you delete my number. I don't want a racist having it."

Alec felt like he was experiencing shell shock. Her words, as pleasant as she said them were simple. An ultimatum. Continue, or get out of my life. He swallowed. "Okay..." Alec got out, feeling numb. "I'll give it a go..."

Sarina smiled broadly. "I knew you weren't going to quit on me! You aren't like other whiteboys Alec, you know. Come on. Lets go cool down."

---

The Uber back to campus felt like a long time for Alec. They'd finished their session, Sarina acting like they had never had their conversation about the research while Alec could only nod and smile weakly. He had thanked her for the session and agreed to do it again next week. Both Lucas and Sara at the front desk happily took his details and according to them, he was free to train for up to two months provided it was with a established member. He'd nodded a thanks and left.

"Great job today! I know I might have been a little harsh but I am honestly so excited for our project. Stay strong, Alec. You'll become a better person on the other side of it, promise."

That was what Sarina had text him shortly after. It had brought a small smile, knowing she enjoyed their time. But it was undercut by the knowledge she wanted him for his feelings and his writings for her class. It left him a little bitter. He got back to his dorm and quickly tossed himself onto his bed, not feeling to bad but certainly tired post workout. Alec thought about messaging Jensen, perhaps playing some games would distract his mind from the day. Yet Sarina's words of encouragement to experiment with his fantasies were at the forefront of his mind. Without much thought, Alec pulled up his phone and opened TikTok, quickly following his feed to thirst traps and endless amounts of big, twerking cheeks. His hands tugged down his pants, fingers stroking his slowly stiffening member as he watched. Within a few moments, Alec was softly jerking his cock, watching the videos. He found one which fit his desires. A thick, pale goth looking girl with a massive ass swaying it from side to side in a tiny skirt. The caption of the video asked if 'it clap?". The girl looking thoughtful as she swayed before laughing and jumping, twisting in the air and exposing her ass, barely covered by a pair of dark, lacy underwear. She bounced, making her fat ass clap loudly with the motion. Alec moaned lightly as he thought on Sarina's words. 'It's okay to masturbate to black men and white women together'. He let his imagination take over, picturing the girl doing the same motion while a black stud observed. She giggled, letting it clap as the black man in his minds eye grinned, standing and moving over.

A large black hand slapped the massive white ass cheek, leaving a red mark to quickly form. The goth giggled in delight and Alec sighed, his cock starting to leak already as his humped his hand against his bed. His eyes closed, Alec let the image progress, the thick white girl bent over and her black stud thrusting into her from behind. His dark hands mauled her ass, the pale flesh red and contrasted by his black fingers sinking into her backside. "Oh fuck!" She moaned loudly, twisting as she was claimed from behind. Alec grunted, his thoughts becoming powerful and clear as he fucked his own fist to the fantasy. Any thoughts of being a loser or weak or any internalized racial pride was lost in his imagination, the sight of the girl being blacked washing away his worries.

A second later, Alec felt his orgasm coming and his eyes shot open. The fantasy vanished, lost as he glanced down at his throbbing cock, the pale, slim manhood rather sad in comparison to the imagined black stud in his mind. The goth girl was still clapping her ass on his phone screen. Alec pondered his thoughts. All he was concerned with was how fucking horny he felt! Any thoughts of shame were stamped down by his desire to cum. His desire to cum to interracial. He knew he was meant to be taking a break from hardcore interracial. A break from the likes of Blacked. But his minds eye would satisfy. He needed the real deal.

A quick google brought him what he wanted. He didn't care at this point which video it was. As long as it sated this impulse to see black cock inside a white girl. Alec's mind was fogged by his lust, taking no time consider his sudden need. 'BLACKED Jynx Maze's Hot Affair' was the video he grabbed. Alec's desire was running high. He quickly began tugging frantically at his cock, not caring if his orgasm was to come too quick. He skipped a little over half way, instantly coming to see a stunning brunette bent over on all fours, her large ass spread and a thick, black cock stretching her tight pussy. Alec let out a moan, feeling his cock pulse and leak. The wet, 'fapping' sound rang through his room as he watched Maze getting stretched. She looked amazing, the thick black manhood spreading her. It outsized his own member easily, the two night and day. Alec felt no shame in that though. Not in that moment anyway. He grunted, his breath tight and he moaned feeling his orgasm reach the point of no return. As he felt his load begin to spurt, Alec's mind went back to Sarina words again.

'It's okay to masturbate to black men and white women together.' Those words bounced around his mind as he watched the BBC claim the white girl before him, a soft moan escaping his lips as he weakly simulated the same tightness of her pussy with his hand, his loads dribbling out onto his fingers.

'It's okay to masturbate to black men and white women together.' Alec fell back onto his bed, sighing and breathing deep. The feelings of shame and weakness beginning to start. Yet Sarina's words seemed to gloss over his thoughts. The repeating of her words inside his head bringing some comfort to him as he pulled a face, seeing the sticky mess he'd made.