i think i was between bullied and cucked, and that leave me like i am now. early on mostly by guys (school). High school from both, girls and boys. Pretty much become a punch bag for bullies and i think i started developing something for cruel girls by that time as the girl i liked the most was always smiling when it was time for my beating.. In university i was cheated by the 3 gf i had. The first was only that, cheated and explicitly leaved me because i was too of a beta (something like a sissy fag in her words).. the second one used to cheat on my quite often and got me into a fight were i got my ass kicked, the same night she went home with him and left me and the last one used to cheat on my with a coworker of her, a tall black guy from the north. That eventually ended, but it was the start of my thing for blacks.. from there it skyrocketed.
