For most of the U.S. it started in Ferguson with a brutal homicide. For me, it started long before. I suppose some background might help.
Both my mom and *** are members of the KKK. They go to Harrison, Arkansas every summer to visit the US Headquarters. True racists. I grew up hearing from both sets of grandparents about what used to happen to ni**ers in the good old days. Grampa Miller even talked about lynchings he'd participated in as a teen. It was just natural for me to hate "colored people" too. Natural, not right.
I moved from Hannibal, Missouri to Colombia to attend college taking a part-time waitress job to help cover costs. A whole new world for me! While I did date some, I avoided going to parties and to the clubs because things were "too dark" for my liking. Luck smiled on me my senior year.
One night this man in an Army uniform came in for dinner. He was older than me but handsome with a nice personality. Soon Tony became a regular customer always setting in my section. Come to find out he was a Recruiter working CoMo and the University of Missouri. Eventually he asked me out for dinner. I accepted and before long, even though he was 16 years older than I, we fell in love.
We went to Hannibal to meet my ****** during the Holidays. Tony had never said anything negative about blacks. He said it was because of his job in the Army but he knew how my ****** felt. Once there he used all the right words and phrases. The tales about the worthless, lazy ni**ers in the Army made him appear to be more racist than my mom and *** combined. They loved it when he said he always assigned his "dark green" troops to the most dangerous missions knowing they might get wounded or even killed. My Uncle Hank said they did the same thing in Vietnam. Everyone loved him. I was told that Tony would be a welcome addition to our racist ******.
One thing did bother me though. Tony said he wanted to wait for us to have sex until after we married. Said it was the right thing to do. I accepted that thinking he respected me. Not really, he was just hiding something I never expected.
We got married in June and that's when I found out about his "equipment" issue. He only had a 3 inch dick. He was able to consumate our marriage but it was touch-and-go. I had slept with only one other guy and he had 4 inches. So I thought Tony just had a short dick and learned to live with it.
After graduation I started looking for a job and was lucky enough to get a Lab Supervisor job at MU. The Department Head knew Tony and that's what got me the job. It was in the Agricultural Department and there weren't too many people of color so I was happy as a clam. That is until Tony was ordered to join a unit at Ft. Leonard Wood 3 months after we were married.
Tony had been deployed for six months when on a Wednesday one of my co-workers, Cindy told me she'd had enough of my depression. It was effecting my work and she had the cure. "Girls night out Ashley! Just you and me Friday night. Well go out and see about snapping you out of this." After hemhawing around I agreed "... only if we don't get too crazy. I am married you know." Cindy patted me on the shoulder saying "Well hell girl, so am I."
Cindy had arranged for a cab to pick us up at my place. She had brought clothes and her makeup to work so we got ready together. As we started to get dressed she saw what I'd planned on wearing and stopped me. "You've seen what I'm wearing? I don't want to look silly wearing this with you in jeans. Let's see what you got." Her outfit was way different than mine. Not slutty but definitely not something you'd wear to church. A black dress cut to mid-thigh and showing a bit of cleavage though compared to me she was kinda small up top. She called to delay the cab for 30 minutes and we headed to my closet.
"Girl don't you ever go out?" she said as she shuffled through my clothes. I felt kinda embarrassed but she was right. Not a whole lot of party clothes. Finally she came across a kinda short denim skirt and picked out a white nylon tank top. From there she headed to my bra and panty drawer. "Got to make sure you feel all sexy." I must have given her a look cause she piped up "No silly, nothing's going to happen but we are gonna make you feel sexy tonight."
Out came a black pair of lacy panties and a black bra.
I told her"With this white top this will show like crazy."
"Just put it on." She said. "We'll finish your makeup and see how you look."
I do admit the girl I saw staring back at me in the mirror did look hot but there was no way...Honk, Honk! Our taxi was there. "Hey let's go before he starts charging us for waiting." So, out the door and into the taxi.
Our driver was a colored guy in his 20's. He asked where to and Cindy told him to take us where he would go if he wasn't working. Next thing I knew we were at a club just north of town. There was a dance floor filled to overflowing, music was throbbing as couples moved together dancing on the dimly lit dance floor. We grabbed an open table and I noticed a stage where 2 white girls were dancing in bikinis.
Cindy had been all excited when we pulled up telling me she'd not been here but had wanted to go. Our driver said something to her as I got out. All I heard was "...yea, midnight will be fine". That was cool, she'd just made arrangements for our ride back to my place.
As my eyes got adjusted to the light I noticed most of the men were NOT white. In fact the only white men I saw were the bartenders and 4 or 5 security guys. I was not in my element.
Once our drinks were downed Cindy said we were gonna go dance. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out on the floor. At first I was a bit clumsy but soon we were moving quite well together. I couldn't help feeling the eyes of the men looking at us, looking at ME. We went back to our table where there were more drinks waiting. We didn't know who bought them and didn't care. We quickly drank them down and headed back out to the dancefloor. It was fun just relaxing and dancing with Cindy.
As the music started up again two men almost inserted themselves between Cindy and I. Almost in a panic I noticed her partner had slowly seperated she and I. His buddy, who was dancing with me, placed his hands on my shoulders encouraging me to match his moves as the music played on. Gradually he got closer as the throbing got louder. He tipped his head and almost yelling asked if I was having a good time.
Both my mom and *** are members of the KKK. They go to Harrison, Arkansas every summer to visit the US Headquarters. True racists. I grew up hearing from both sets of grandparents about what used to happen to ni**ers in the good old days. Grampa Miller even talked about lynchings he'd participated in as a teen. It was just natural for me to hate "colored people" too. Natural, not right.
I moved from Hannibal, Missouri to Colombia to attend college taking a part-time waitress job to help cover costs. A whole new world for me! While I did date some, I avoided going to parties and to the clubs because things were "too dark" for my liking. Luck smiled on me my senior year.
One night this man in an Army uniform came in for dinner. He was older than me but handsome with a nice personality. Soon Tony became a regular customer always setting in my section. Come to find out he was a Recruiter working CoMo and the University of Missouri. Eventually he asked me out for dinner. I accepted and before long, even though he was 16 years older than I, we fell in love.
We went to Hannibal to meet my ****** during the Holidays. Tony had never said anything negative about blacks. He said it was because of his job in the Army but he knew how my ****** felt. Once there he used all the right words and phrases. The tales about the worthless, lazy ni**ers in the Army made him appear to be more racist than my mom and *** combined. They loved it when he said he always assigned his "dark green" troops to the most dangerous missions knowing they might get wounded or even killed. My Uncle Hank said they did the same thing in Vietnam. Everyone loved him. I was told that Tony would be a welcome addition to our racist ******.
One thing did bother me though. Tony said he wanted to wait for us to have sex until after we married. Said it was the right thing to do. I accepted that thinking he respected me. Not really, he was just hiding something I never expected.
We got married in June and that's when I found out about his "equipment" issue. He only had a 3 inch dick. He was able to consumate our marriage but it was touch-and-go. I had slept with only one other guy and he had 4 inches. So I thought Tony just had a short dick and learned to live with it.
After graduation I started looking for a job and was lucky enough to get a Lab Supervisor job at MU. The Department Head knew Tony and that's what got me the job. It was in the Agricultural Department and there weren't too many people of color so I was happy as a clam. That is until Tony was ordered to join a unit at Ft. Leonard Wood 3 months after we were married.
Tony had been deployed for six months when on a Wednesday one of my co-workers, Cindy told me she'd had enough of my depression. It was effecting my work and she had the cure. "Girls night out Ashley! Just you and me Friday night. Well go out and see about snapping you out of this." After hemhawing around I agreed "... only if we don't get too crazy. I am married you know." Cindy patted me on the shoulder saying "Well hell girl, so am I."
Cindy had arranged for a cab to pick us up at my place. She had brought clothes and her makeup to work so we got ready together. As we started to get dressed she saw what I'd planned on wearing and stopped me. "You've seen what I'm wearing? I don't want to look silly wearing this with you in jeans. Let's see what you got." Her outfit was way different than mine. Not slutty but definitely not something you'd wear to church. A black dress cut to mid-thigh and showing a bit of cleavage though compared to me she was kinda small up top. She called to delay the cab for 30 minutes and we headed to my closet.
"Girl don't you ever go out?" she said as she shuffled through my clothes. I felt kinda embarrassed but she was right. Not a whole lot of party clothes. Finally she came across a kinda short denim skirt and picked out a white nylon tank top. From there she headed to my bra and panty drawer. "Got to make sure you feel all sexy." I must have given her a look cause she piped up "No silly, nothing's going to happen but we are gonna make you feel sexy tonight."
Out came a black pair of lacy panties and a black bra.
I told her"With this white top this will show like crazy."
"Just put it on." She said. "We'll finish your makeup and see how you look."
I do admit the girl I saw staring back at me in the mirror did look hot but there was no way...Honk, Honk! Our taxi was there. "Hey let's go before he starts charging us for waiting." So, out the door and into the taxi.
Our driver was a colored guy in his 20's. He asked where to and Cindy told him to take us where he would go if he wasn't working. Next thing I knew we were at a club just north of town. There was a dance floor filled to overflowing, music was throbbing as couples moved together dancing on the dimly lit dance floor. We grabbed an open table and I noticed a stage where 2 white girls were dancing in bikinis.
Cindy had been all excited when we pulled up telling me she'd not been here but had wanted to go. Our driver said something to her as I got out. All I heard was "...yea, midnight will be fine". That was cool, she'd just made arrangements for our ride back to my place.
As my eyes got adjusted to the light I noticed most of the men were NOT white. In fact the only white men I saw were the bartenders and 4 or 5 security guys. I was not in my element.
Once our drinks were downed Cindy said we were gonna go dance. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out on the floor. At first I was a bit clumsy but soon we were moving quite well together. I couldn't help feeling the eyes of the men looking at us, looking at ME. We went back to our table where there were more drinks waiting. We didn't know who bought them and didn't care. We quickly drank them down and headed back out to the dancefloor. It was fun just relaxing and dancing with Cindy.
As the music started up again two men almost inserted themselves between Cindy and I. Almost in a panic I noticed her partner had slowly seperated she and I. His buddy, who was dancing with me, placed his hands on my shoulders encouraging me to match his moves as the music played on. Gradually he got closer as the throbing got louder. He tipped his head and almost yelling asked if I was having a good time.
