Journal of a Journey - Book Twenty Six

I think it's about as good as it can be in terms of us all not feeling quite so uneasy about things. I left feeling good about Ray and me but I am aware that much can happen when they're away together at the wedding.

Still, I have to say that as the time has gone by since the wedding thing first came up that I now more than ever want her to go with him. I am now working up the courage to suggest/tell her to leave her rings at home.

The thought of her spending a night with Ray and the hearing about it when she comes home is just intense to even think about now; I cannot imagine how I'll be when the time comes.


She just called me at 4:45pm and said she was going to stop off at Ray’s on the way home. She said she wants to make sure he's okay after my meeting with him but I know better!

We have resumed our ‘normal’ and, yes, she's denied me so far this week each time teasing me that, "you'll just have to wait till Friday!”


Back to last Thursday for a moment though. Our ******** was staying late at school as she's working on the school-play so there was no urgency on her coming home after seeing Ray but nevertheless about 6:45pm she pulled in the driveway.

I was all turned on from thoughts of her having this spur-of-the-moment visit with him but she knew I was expecting to endure an evening of teasing and I definitely didn't want to jerk-off if I was going to have her the next day; I wanted to be as horny as I could be.

She surprised me totally by crooking her finger and teasing/telling me to follow her up to the bedroom. Once into the bedroom I sat there at the edge of the bed while she undressed. For some reason it turns me on to see her get undressed, seeing her bra and then panties come into view, knowing she'd put them back on just a short while before. She stood in front of me and unclipped her bra and I could see her nipples and breasts were reddened and flushed with excitement. My cock throbbed in my pants as she stood there with just her panties on letting me see the wet-spot in the crotch.

She sat down next to me and kissed me and told me she was so happy with me and that she'd come away from Ray’s feeling great. She told me that he'd shared some of what we'd spoken about and she told me I'd made him feel much more at ease about things. I told her that I'd found him easy to talk to and that he had made me feel more at ease too but I added that his assurances were welcomed. She giggled and said, "See, I told you that you had nothing to worry about".

Then she did something I wasn't expecting. She stood up and slipped off her panties and then said , "you were so good with Ray, I think you deserve me today".

My heart skipped a beat as she lay back on the bed. She seemed so sexy as she raised her knees and spread them apart and I felt the need and overwhelming urge to go down on her.

No, she wasn't all creamy, but there was no mistaking the taste of cum and the feeling of her pussy as I spread it apart with my fingers and tongue. I slid off the bed and worked to slip off my pants and underwear while never missing a lick.

She began to moan and pulling her knees back told me, "this is how Ray just had me" as I licked her from down by her ass up all the way up to her clit and back again. Each time I passed by her vagina, more of their juices would seep out. Finally one last time I licked upwards and kept going. As I made my way to her breasts, my cock lay between her spread pussy lips. I swear I could feel the heat from inside her.

By the time I pushed into her she had me on edge from her teasing about ‘what Ray did’ and ‘... how much he came in me...’ In between her teasing and the surprise of being ‘allowed a Thursday night’ I fucked her violently for as long as I could. I know she came at least once more if not a second time before I finally let loose and as I did let go in her the thought that I was her second lover to cum in her went through my mind; a tame thought, I know, but it was enough to send me over the edge. As I squirted away in her that she definitely squealed one last time in her own last orgasm that didn't end until I'd stopped moving in and out of her.

I asked her what had come over her (pun intended!) that she'd given in and relented on my ‘weekend-only’ status. She laughed and said that it was never the intention that I could never have sex with her during the week but that she'd rather not feel so obligated about it. Then she added, “You treated Ray so nicely that I thought you ‘deserved it’!"


Thursday night was a great lead into the beautiful weekend. Suzanna did go see Ray once more over the weekend on Saturday afternoon while I was up at the high-school helping out with set construction for the school play (good PR with the school administration!). She was already home by the time I returned with our ******** in tow. I had to bide my time and hide my horniness until we were able to find time alone. My arousal was only made worse by my finding her clothes and underwear in the bathroom hamper when she'd showered after coming home from Ray’s (she said that she ‘smelled like sex’ and felt like she needed to freshen up).

Needless to say, I was on her in an instant when we finally had our ‘us time’ on Saturday night. I was actually hoping for a repeat of the previous night but the evening got away from us and it was kind of late when we finally got together.

I was kind of ticked off when she asked me if I ‘really needed to fuck’ and I hemmed and hawed; I didn't want to make her feel obligated. She said she didn't have the energy (or desire) but that if I wanted to jerk-off, then OK, she'd help me along. When I agreed, she pushed the covers down and reached up under her night-shirt and pulled off her panties. She then pulled the shirt up as I slid off my boxers and started to stroke my already hard cock.

She knew if I was going to masturbate for her like that, that I would want her to tease me so she turned the volume down on the TV and started to talk to me. She told me all sorts of stuff and what I remember most distinctly was her telling me how much she likes Ray to cum in her; how she loves to spread herself open and show him everything. Then she teased about how I like her "wet and used".

She told me how comfortable she and Ray are now that most everything is out in the open and she told me how she loves being nude around him and how he too likes ‘seeing all of her’. It was when she started telling me how she's going to enjoy spending some time with him at the wedding that I started to get close. She must have seen my response as I started to moan and groan because she ran her fingers down to her pussy and I could tell it wasn't just for show. She teased about how she’ll be ‘fucking Ray a lot’ at the wedding which just about put me over the edge.

I was content to jerk myself till I came and had my eyes closed. When I was just about there she surprised me again. I felt motion on the bed and then felt her lips lock down over my cock and her mouth gently sucking me. She didn't resist, in fact she moaned loudly, when I put one hand behind her head and gently guided her to take me deeply. A moment later, I let loose in her mouth and she squealed as I came. I suspect her own fingers were doing their magic on her.

She kept sucking until she had taken all I had in her mouth and then she slid off of me. I was still kind of coming down when she moved up next to me and kissed me. It took me a second to realize she still had my load in her mouth and was snowballing me. It was so erotic to feel our tongues slippery against each other and share what she'd sucked out of me.


The whole lack-of-birth-control thing hasn't come up again, at least not in the discussions between the two of us and certainly not whenever I’ve spoken with Ray. What they may have said between themselves is another matter.

He has said ‘thanks’ for the time with Sue and I am sure that the two of them may have had some fun with the issue but in all reality she is past her mommy-days. If it's a turn-on for them to think about the possibility of her becoming pregnant , then that's okay. Between Suzanna and me she knows it was and still is a turn-on but it's also the kind of thing that once it's been done, the shock value of it seems to have waned a bit.


I don't think Ray has asked that Suzanna leaves her rings home. He is planning on being respectful and has no intention of making Suzanna seem or feel like a harlot or whatever. However, the thought of it does turn me on a lot and unless something changes or gives me cause to reconsider, I will definitely ask her to leave them home when she goes.

Every time I think about it I am more convinced that I want that experience; I want to feel how it will be to truly give her to him for a weekend and I want them both to know it's what I want by her leaving her rings home.

That said, if Ray and Suzanna want to play it up that she is more than just a married friend, then that will be up to them to decide and to certainly share with me afterwards. It is still almost a month away so by then, unless something changes with me, it will be a done-deal by then.


She isn't nearly as insistent on the 'weekend only' status for me so I'm not sure what that means when the time comes. Then again, the only reason she said she gave in last Thursday was because I'd treated Ray so nicely so who knows.

To be honest, I would like to have her say no to me before she goes off to the wedding knowing I'll be waiting for her to return. I also can say that if she pushed it and wanted me to wait, that there is nothing I would do about it other than sit back and marvel at the intense feelings and emotions I know I'll have to be dealing with.

I think, in a way, that maybe I do miss Dan and his forcefulness with Suzanna. I certainly felt more cuck-ish back then. Now, I feel like she's more of a hotwife than anything. I’m not complaining but perhaps this is the next step or that maybe she's slowly allowing her own dominant side to emerge with me.

I’m just thinking out loud on that one as I'm still undecided on how much enjoyment she gets out of the whole denial thing when it's just her that is insisting on it. Personally, I think she's too horny and likes fucking me too much but that may be for another day to explore.


I've been thinking about the denial thing more and will most likely find a way to weave it into our conversation now that I've become more convinced of it.

Maybe it's a crazy thought that began with the idea that Suzanna's open embracing of going to the wedding with Ray was perhaps a way to bring back some of the edginess that I know we both felt in the past over her activities. However, now, with what I see going on, I'm wondering if perhaps she isn't encouraging and guiding Ray into guiding him into being a bit more dominant with her?

I saw him being much more forceful and aggressive with her this last time I was there and spied on them and I know Sue's mentioned her encouraging to do that in the past too with him going along with it. It's actually kind of interesting to see it (if that’s what's happening) of her crafting and melding him into the kind of lover she wants, one who’s a bit dominant to bring back some of that edge.

Is that a crazy thought? I thought so when it first came into my mind but now, thinking on it for a few days, I can't help but wonder. Of course it's not something I want to ask her as I’m not sure if she's doing it consciously or even if she's aware of doing it but it is interesting to watch.

To me, it could explain a lot, if she feels safe with him and he truly doesn't want more than just the ‘wb’ part of being her ‘fwb’.


Our ******** was out most of the weekend working on the school play that starts later this week. With her safely out of the house and what with the nice weather Suzanna really got going. By afternoon to say she was hot is an understatement.

Some red-wine in the afternoon sun really got her worked up and with our ******** gone - she was able to relax and let go a bit at home. (While we do have some Velcro restraints we did everything but outright bondage!) We fucked in almost every room of the house including on the carpet in the den right in front of the sliding-glass door to the backyard. She teased me at times encouraging me to chase her around from room to room only to tackle her onto the couch or carpet or against the counter in the kitchen. We did wind up in our bedroom where I was on top of her and I fucked her deeply as I held her hands above her head. It was one of those times when I felt her entire body just give into the moment as she didn't hold herself back.

She'd teased me plenty along the way and when we got to the bedroom she got me even more worked up as she told me that she wanted Ray to join us one time in ‘our bed’. At another point she was up on her knees and I knelt next to her so she could suck me. I played with one of her toys, teasing her by running it up and down the furrow from her clit to her vaginal opening and then back up and each time I dipped into her it came back wetter and wetter. I gently held her head to suck me deeper and as I did so, I felt her orgasm on the dildo I was pushing into her. I could feel her tighten up on it as she moaned deeply and shivered for a moment and then, as the wave would pass, the dildo would again slip loosely in and out of her. I told her she was a naughty-wife and she giggled and said, "yeah but you love it". Her teasing stopped when I pulled away from her hands and positioned her to kneel at the edge of the bed where I took my turn deep in her.

I do love how she feels after she's orgasmed with either a cock or a dildo in her, there is just a different feel to her that is just so so so nice. I pushed almost effortlessly into her at first and then when she pushed back towards me we soon found our rhythm was we both worked up to a frenzy.

I still love good ol' missionary the best; something about her lying below me and spreading her thighs for me and me hooking my arms around her legs and hearing her moan under me is one thing but feeling her is just intense. I know she was saying stuff to me to get me going but I don't recall it all, I just know that with no one home we were quite loud including at the very end where she even commented on how loud I was with no one home!


We're planning on taking some time for us alone. Our son is going to come home for a weekend in April and he will take care of his younger sister while Suzanna and I go away. I told her that I wanted her for myself for a weekend. No, I didn't say, "Like Ray is getting" but I'm sure she understood what I meant.


About frequency with Ray. Suzanna has slipped back into her old-ways and Thursdays seem to be her preference. I know she would like to find a way to have another day (or more) of the week with him but, near as I can tell, she wants to be a bit spontaneous too. Last week she did see him on Thursday and I have to say that I have become accustomed to waiting till Friday and that I find it incredibly arousing to me to think about them while I wait for her with Ray’s cum still in her. Perhaps that’s part of him having part of her when I can't. All I know is that knowledge just makes me viciously horny by Friday night.

She's relaxed a bit on the panty-denial thing. Dare I say it's even a bit more tormenting seeing her walk around naked knowing I am going to wait for her and, yes, as she gets dressed around me. it does turn me on to think that Ray may get to undress her. Sometimes I'll look at the undies she picks out and wonder if she's picked them for him to see or not!


She saw Ray earlier this afternoon. She joked that, as a by-the-way, it was a beautiful afternoon for sex too! I joked back that the weekend is going to be very nice too; she laughed too. No need to say why I'm here alone now.

I've known she's had this sexual side to her since we met so long ago and I've longed to have it come back out as it now has. Her promiscuity back then was something that attracted me to her in the first place. One of the things about this being a 2nd marriage for both of us is that we were honest and recognized that we fit together incredibly well sexually.

From the first time in the back-seat of her car we've both been able to bring each other to incredible pleasure and that hasn't changed. If anything, all of what we are now doing has intensified it between us. It's never been that I haven't gotten the job done. It is much more that the spontaneity and the absence of the rest of life when she's with Ray, or whoever, is what she needs to bring it out of her. (Or, whenever we are alone for long enough for her to let herself go.)

It is an interesting thought about what Ray must think. Especially after the cold-fish of a partner in his soon-to-be ex-wife (btw, the divorce is under-way and she is thinking of moving away in the future).


I was not surprised by the text message Suzanna just sent me to tell that she's leaving work about 3:30pm and is going over Ray’s. Even I'm envious wishing I could cut out of work early on this awesome early spring day! I know that the warm beautiful days make her horny. I can imagine her sprawled out on his couch by the glass door to the deck with the sun shining and the warm breeze blowing in. It is also a horny thought that a neighbour may hear her moan too!

I texted her back that maybe she'll ‘have mercy’ on me when she comes home and let me have her tonight instead of waiting till tomorrow. On the other hand the thought of her prancing around all night long with Ray's stuff simmering inside her is incredibly exciting.

The other news to share is that with the school play going on Saturday afternoon (we're going tomorrow night) our ******** won't be home and our son also isn't going to be home this weekend. So we have made a tentative date for Ray to come over our house for an afternoon romp for the 3 of us. The tentative plan is for me to be included, at least at first, but Suzanna did ask me if I could let them have a little time alone afterwards. When I started to complain she said, "You can have me again after he leaves." That put the smile back on my face.

The other thing about Saturday is that, and I am still coming to terms with it, Suzanna asked me really nicely if we could use our bed in our bedroom. I think I'm going to be okay with going along with it but I do harbour a lot of crazy sentimentality about it. However, in a way, if there's someone I'm going to feel okay about sharing that space with, it's Ray. I’m now beginning to think it'll be pretty erotic for us to all fuck in the same bed in which she and I conceived our kids!

Hmm, now that I'm thinking more about it with us going to the school play Friday night, that may mean she's planning on making me wait until Saturday!

It's now almost 4pm and I'm quite sure she's lying naked on his couch sipping a glass of wine. What an erotic thought.


I'm a bit torn on the use of our bed. I know that I regretted it the last time it happened but this time it just feels different. It is more like I'm sharing with Ray than it being Suzanna and Ray using our bed. I know I felt uneasy after last time but this time, I think it's going to be more of a turn-on. At least that’s my hope.

It’s almost 5:30pm so I'm going to go get some dinner started and get the barbeque lit and such. If patterns repeat themselves, she should be home within 30-45 minutes with a smile on her face. Any other evidence I won't get to see till later.


Last Thursday she came home right around dinner-time as if it was just another day. At first I wasn't totally sure she'd even seen Ray but she took me aside and answered my unspoken questions when she unsnapped the belt on her pants and let me take a feel of her pussy under her panties. She widened her stance and allowed me to push my fingers into her pussy. Needless to say they slipped in effortlessly and she giggled and told me to not let her get too messy and pulled my hand back out before too much began to seep from her. She pulled my fingers to her mouth and licked them off and then teased me, "can you wait or do you really need me tonight?" Then she just turned and said, "Tell me later" and we went downstairs to have dinner.

After dinner we both went upstairs and she let me watch her get changed. As I said, she's eased up on the whole panty thing. Instead, she now seems to be getting a kick out of prancing around naked, especially after she's been to see Ray, knowing I'll wait for her if she wanted. She did tease me when she stepped out of her panties that, "Ray makes such a mess of them". I hoped she'd offer me a chance to give her a lick but instead she let me watch her in the bathroom with one foot up on the toilet as she cleaned herself up with a washcloth. Before she got dressed again she came up to me and asked if I could wait till Friday, “... or maybe Saturday?" She really played up how horny I'd be by then.

I nodded yes to her knowing that it was going to mean waiting until Saturday. She knew all along that we were going to the school-play on Friday and wouldn't be home till later but, at the same time, I also knew she was right and by Saturday I'd be bursting at the seams.

I managed to get busy with some other stuff that night, not sure what, but I remember messing around with the wiring on our surround-sound system and some other things that I'd been meaning to get on with; anything as an excuse to keep my mind off waiting for Saturday.

The school play was a blur Friday night and we were so proud of our ******** and the great job of the stage-crew. After the final curtain close we wound up going to the local diner and waited for all the kids to conclude their post-show get-together. On the way home our ******** reminded us that she was going to go to the after-play cast-party the next night. I saw a big smile come across Suzanna's face when she heard that as it meant we now had no rush on Saturday when Ray came over.

It was well past 11pm by the time we got home and despite my being horny, being tired was actually a bit more important. Not sure how I managed to sleep that night but I did.


I was very anxious Saturday morning. I even volunteered to take our ******** up to school to drop her to take my mind off waiting till Ray would show up. He arrived on-time and, again, his demeanour and easiness reminded me why I liked him. Suzanna's attention was drawn away too.

We went through almost two bottles of wine and were all feeling quite mellow. Somehow knowing we had virtually all afternoon and evening made things seem more relaxed and less rushed. Conversation was easy and we wandered around the house looking at old pictures on the walls and in photo albums and laughed at how we looked long ago before kids. Ray was very complimentary towards Suzanna and I mentally made a note to share some of the private photos of her I had with him one day. In the kitchen we found some snacks and wound up in the den with the TV on some channel and me sitting in my chair and Suzanna sitting on the couch next to Ray; nothing was going on, just 3 friends being friends and sharing easy chat. (At times there were definite sexual overtones to our conversation but we didn't sit there talking about fucking!)

It was 4pm-ish and the conversation had sort of calmed as we worked to the end of the 2nd bottle of wine when Suzanna got up and said she was going to get changed and that she'd be back and that we should be nice to each other.

While she was gone, the conversation between Ray and I became quite easy. It may have been the alcohol loosening our tongues but soon we are speculating and talking about fucking Suzanna. I actually opened it up by saying it wouldn't surprise me if she came down in something slinky; Ray responded that he wouldn't be surprised if she came back down naked.

I laughed and said that I liked him bringing out the horniness in her; he laughed back saying something like, “My pleasure”.

Over the next few minutes while we waited for her, the wall sort of broke down between us and we started openly talking about fucking her and what we both liked. Ray said he's never been with someone quite so responsive and someone so easy to bring to orgasm.

I smiled broadly and told him that I knew what he was talking about and we got into a brief discussion where we agreed that she genuinely seemed to enjoy the missionary position. We were going to keep talking when Suzanna re-appeared and asked coyly, "whatcha' talkin' about?”

I laughed and answered, "talking about what we're going to do to you!" and that was when I saw that she'd changed into this long-t-shirt that clings to her and, from what we could see, obviously with no bra under it and, I suspected, no panties either. She sat back down on the couch next to Ray but made no moves toward him, at least not straightaway. The last thing I remember clearly is her pulling her legs up under her and in the process, confirming there were no panties underneath.

It seemed like things were about to get started and just needed a push so I said I needed to go to the bathroom and I left the room. Needless to say, when I came back, things had gotten started. They were kissing and Ray was caressing her through her shirt. He broke the kiss when he saw me standing there. She looked beautiful, relaxed and natural. She started to say something but I interrupted and said, "don't stop because of me".

She said, “We won’t but we want to be more comfortable,” and with that Suzanna said they were going to go upstairs.

I knew what that meant and a part of me still wanted to say no, that we should all just continue to play in the den but then I thought that it was her saying that and looking at her all flushed and horny I couldn’t stop myself from saying, "go on and I'll be up in a bit". As she pulled him towards the stairs I told him to, "Get her started".

That was a moment I will never forget; the thought of sending them up to our room to fuck.

I heard them walking down the hallway above me. I stood there for a while not hearing anything more and seemingly incapable of moving but eventually my legs worked and I went up to the kitchen, picked up 2 bottles of water and then I went up to the bedroom.

I admit I was hesitant to look in but I did so and stood there for a moment and just watched. She looked beautiful. Her t-shirt was pushed up around her waist; her arms were thrown back onto her pillow as she lay there on her back; her knees were up and apart and Ray was between them eagerly licking her pussy. I don't know how long I watched them, it didn't matter, it was just awesome to see. Every now and then she'd put her hand on his head and seem to hold or guide him. All I know is I stood there listening to their sounds, her moaning and the wet sounds from her pussy and his mouth. It could have been seconds or it could have been an hour all I remember is watching so intently and losing track of time. Finally with her hand on his head her moans got louder and she started to move, first her knees and then her whole body to the point that she clasped her knees together and screamed as he got her to cum!

I've seen her cum before and it's always awesome but seeing him do so in such an intimate way and knowing what he felt as she let go, well, let’s just say that it's one of those feelings that is both arousing as well as difficult. As ever, seeing her like that is just so beautiful to me whether it's her alone, with me or with him, seeing her orgasm like that is just awesome.

I went into the room but I was not sure either of them saw me or knew I was there. As he moved up and she put her knees down, it struck me how comfortable and relaxed, even natural, they seemed together. It didn't (and still doesn't) bother me. I am well aware what they do together, and there have certainly been enough times, but this was different than the last time I'd spied on them. Before it was Suzanna wanting it aggressive; this time, it was clear she wanted it to last and to be warm and tender.

So, that's one thing I was now faced with thinking about. That is they don't always just fuck, sometimes they do truly make love but, it's cool, I knew it was going on as it has for the past few years, that sometimes she wants it warm and tender. I knew if I stood there long enough after they started, that at one point I was going to hear her yell that she loved him or something similar but, to be honest, I was so horny and could no longer stand to wait. As I started to get undressed at the foot of the bed I said, "Hey ..." and not seeing any acknowledgement I again said, "... Hey, don't let me get in your way".

Ray stood up and it was obvious he was ready for her or just about. As I stepped out of my pants he moved up on the side of the bed and it seemed almost an instinctive reaction that Suzanna just reached up and started to suck him. I've seen her suck him before but it seemed to me that this time she seemed to be going more slowly and purposefully.

She pulled him out of her mouth as I was getting ready to climb up onto the bed. That was when I got the most intense cuck-rush ever. She got up on her elbows and looked at me and said in the sexiest voice ever, "can Ray go first?" I know she would have been fine with whatever I answered but for me it was one of those cuck-moments when I somehow answered her, "okay".

From that point, things are kind of blurry in terms of details. I do remember Ray giving me the high-5 as I traded places with him and Suzanna started to suck on me but to be honest it could have been Jessica Rabbit or Raquel Welch sucking me for at that moment all I know I could focus on was watching Ray climb back up on our bed and Suzanna, so comfortable, just spreading her legs.

I hadn't seen her up close and it seemed like things were moving in slow-motion. She was so wet and it was incredible to see her so aroused. Her pussy lips were all puffy and her vagina seem to almost wink as she breathed and moved. Ray knelt there for a moment and I remember thinking, "what is he waiting for?" A second later he reached to the headboard and got our bottle of lubricant and dripped it over his rigid cock; all greased up and her so ready he seemed to push almost effortlessly into her.

The moan she let out as he entered her was so intense to hear. She tried to keep stroking and sucking me but my focus was still glued to where Ray was now buried in her. What a fucking turn on to see her pussy spread around him. I remember watching him pull out of her and although I know he's no longer than me he seemed huge pulling out of her and then pushing back in. Even more intense was how she would respond to him, thrusting herself up at him as he pushed in each time.

At one point I looked at the clock to see it was after 6pm. It didn't seem possible that it'd been maybe an hour since I first stood in the doorway.

He really got into a rhythm and she would grasp my cock really tightly at times and at other times she'd drop it altogether. Sometimes she'd suck me deep and at others, she'd lick at the tip but all the while her real focus was on her being thoroughly fucked.

I can't say any of us said very much other than "mmmm" and "uhhhhh" and "yeahhhhh" but those sounds at the right moments are very sexy to hear, especially coming from Suzanna as I watched her cum at least once while Ray fucked her.

My mind drifted as I visualised that this is how they'll be the night of the wedding and in the next few moments my mind wandered through a whole crazy range of things that bought back the sense of angst that I felt earlier.

Then the sound of one of them moaning and Suzanna suddenly gripping my cock brought me back to them. I remember being confused for a moment not being sure which was the reality but a moment later I could tell their time was coming soon. The next thing I realized was that I was now wildly horny!

I'd say that it was probably just a few moments later when it became obvious that Ray was on the edge and that Suzanna wasn't far behind. Again, time seemed to be going so slowly but a moment later Ray grunted first and began a motion that I've now seen many times.

At times I think that moment should bother me more than it does. Hearing him grunt like that and seeing him arch his back, I know he's cumming in her at that moment and strange thing is, it's good with me. I know that I’ll hear her shriek a moment later and it's just awesome to see her thrash like that under him for the next few moments.

They stopped moving at one point and the thoughts from earlier resumed in my head again to fill in the blanks in the action, I guess. I thought of them also sharing this moment when they're away too....

Again, it was Ray’s movement and their noises that brought me back to reality and I suddenly realized that I was wickedly horny and that it was now my turn.

I'd like to tell more of the eroticism of seeing him pulling out of her or how she looked lying there but I can't because other than the knowledge of all of that, the next 15-20 minutes are just a blur to me. I know she giggled and said, "your turn" at one point and I could tell that Ray did a number on her for sure. It may have been a while since I'd had her so soon after him but she felt awesome, even better than I'd remembered, and that was it for me. She pulled her knees back at first and I hooked them around my arms. I pushed deep into her and, man, she felt incredible. Wet and sloppy for sure but warm, wet, incredible wonderfulness!

She said stuff to me but I think I only heard fragments of her teases. Ray stood on one leg and had the other bent and was kneeling halfway on the bed next to her shoulders as I had my turn with her. It struck me that he was now watching me. Kinda cool.

I'd like to say I lasted hours but there was no way. When she began to do the same to me as she did with Ray, pushing herself up at me each time I plunge into her; telling me how I should fuck her and cum in her, it didn't take all that long before I was ready to blow. Thing is, she knew it and with both her hands she reached down and around and somehow pulled herself even more open for me ... or at least that's how it felt.

I looked up at some points and she was, just like she had done to me, either sucking or stroking Ray's cock and, just like me when it was time, she was totally into it and she dropped his cock as she felt me lose it and start to cum in her. A second after I started to fill her she squealed like a wounded animal and somehow seemed to squeeze her pussy around my cock!

Honestly, the next thing I remember is her and I breathing deeply with me lying on top of her. Again, I don't know how long we lay there but I suddenly became aware that Ray was still there so I rolled off of Suzanna and all three of us were silent for a moment until Suzanna started to laugh out loud.

Ray climbed onto the bed on the other side (not sure how he fit at the edge of the bed) and we all three lay there. It was very relaxed. Ray played with one breast and I played with the other. She didn't resist at all as we both, at times ran our hands up and down her body including pushing our fingers into her wet pussy!

We talked for a moment until I noticed that Ray was gently stroking his cock which was now almost hard again. When I saw that I told them that I was going to go downstairs and that they should ‘carry on without me’. (No way was I getting hard again that soon anyway!)

Instead of leaving, I again stood in the doorway and this time I watched much more intently as Suzanna again raised her knees and spread herself willingly for him again. This time though, even from 10 feet or so away near the door, I could see clearly how she looked just like a porno queen full of cum waiting for her next lover! I watched Ray climb up on her and how he'd tease her by rubbing his cock up and down her pussy and then gently pushing his way into her!

Again, that angst struck me that I was really going to let her go away with him overnight. In my mind I was having thoughts of them in a way feeling like it was their wedding. Would he ‘carry her over the threshold’; would she be a naughty girl and go to the wedding wet from him?

I continued to watch from the doorway until Ray finally got off again; not sure if Suzanna did though. I finally left them and that’s when I started to get some weird feelings as they lay together after he'd cum in her a 2nd time. I wasn't sure if they'd fallen asleep or not but I knew I couldn't stand there watching them knowing it would give me angst thinking that's what they'll be doing when they go away.

About 7:30pm, Ray comes down and says he's going to be taking off. We exchange small talk including some explicit stuff about Suzanna and specifically what an ‘incredible fuck’ she is. Suzanna came down a few minutes later with her t-shirt back on and suggests Ray stay and get some food but he says he doesn't want to wear out his welcome. I remember joking at that and turning to Suzanna and saying, "so 'Mrs Welcome', what do you want to do for dinner?"

I did get my second turn with her later Saturday night before I went to pick up our ********. Actually that was the trade we made, I got seconds (she got 4ths) in exchange for me picking up our ********. Good trade as I was awake!

We fucked again on Sunday night. It seemed like as soon as our ******** was out of our hair, we were out of our clothes.


Regarding our marital bed, yes, I had expressed concern and reluctance on them/us using our bed but, now that it's happened I have to be honest and confess it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it'd be for me. It was actually quite beautiful and I can say that as Suzanna and I lie in bed together whether it's just watching TV or whether it's having sex the thoughts and memories of what we did together last weekend there is very arousing. I know as I fall asleep at night, thinking that I am lying just where she was as they/we shared some intense passion is quite arousing. Perhaps I do still attach a bit more emotion to it than she does but I suspect that her accepting her own desires for sex with others has helped her put it into perspective and to not be so concerned.


Regarding denial and my being 'weekends only', this is much more from my acceptance of it than on her insistence. It does turn me on incredibly to think of her having sex and, yes, coming home with Ray's cum still in her. I can't fully explain it but even without us actually having sex together, somehow that knowledge is an incredible turn-on to me and the reminder/evidence of her sex with him is somehow in a way what I want to feel more than actually myself having sex with her. I know it's crazy and, yes, at times during some weeks, Ray does probably have sex with her more than I do but I also know that there are still some, actually many, aspects of our sex together that transcend and rise above anything they do together.

She has said it to me many times, that he is not and never will be me and as long as I feel that with her, the amount of sex isn't necessarily a concern. I know there are many others who profess to never have sex with their wives but are still happily together. I can't see ever going to that extreme but I point it out that there is more to a relationship than just sex and there are parts of our live together that, no matter what Ray may do, cannot replace me.


I will say it again that I do love that she fucks Ray and that’s something I can’t say that about anyone before him. I’m not denying I didn’t like the effects on us from Dan and Peter but I can't say that I liked/enjoyed the actual sexual part of them together. It's hard for me to explain that I liked the results and effects of her earlier relationships but I don't know that I actually liked them having sex per se.

I do feel differently with Ray; he is very different from her earlier partners and I am actually quite turned on that he is enjoying her as he is and to see that she does the same. Strangely that is very satisfying for me even if it never carried the other things like denial or teasing, etc. I think in the past, if I can say it right, I never liked knowing how Dan or Peter had enjoyed Sue. That is quite different with Ray, I actually quite enjoy knowing he's felt her body at its most intimate moments; that he's felt her as she's orgasmed and let go with him.

I'm not so much troubled by this but I recognise it's perhaps a bit more than I've been ready or able to really absorb and think about. Seeing them together and how they are together is giving me quite a bit of angst when I think about them at the wedding and spending the night together. I know they fuck and, lord knows, I know of the pleasure they share but seeing them together in our bed bought it home to me about how they'll be at the wedding and, obviously, in the hotel. She's spent the night away before but this is different.

Indeed just typing it here and thinking about the wedding has me wicked hard.It is very arousing to think of them coming back to their room afterwards and even just something as simple as her asking him to help unzip her dress seems to turn me on and send my thoughts in a million directions.

I know I'll have some misgivings while she's gone with him but at the same time, I'll also confess that my cock is rock hard just typing this and thinking of what she'll be doing. I can't believe the wedding is just two weeks from Saturday.


They didn't get together last week and it was no surprise when she came to me this morning after breakfast and said she would be going out this afternoon for a little while. I suspected and she confirmed that she intended to go and see Ray on her way running her errands. That was okay with me for although we'd had a heck of a time last night I knew she'd come home after seeing him raring to go for maybe a quickie later tonight and that she'll drive me crazy all afternoon and evening teasing me about her visit.

What a surprise when she comes in about 3pm and I can see on her face that all's not well. Usually she comes in bounding with energy but this time there was clearly something on her mind. I was concerned but our ******** was around so rather than have her overhearing anything I took Suzanna upstairs and got her to talk.

It turns out there's been a little miscommunication somewhere along the way. We've (Suzanna and me) were under the impression that it was to be an overnight thing (leaving on Saturday and coming back on Sunday) but she's all up-tight and tells me that Ray was thinking that they were leaving on Friday! She said that he's been invited to the rehearsal dinner and to go out for drinks afterwards. She says that's why he was surprised that I'd said okay.

So, I asked her what she had said to him when he told her. He had said that he was embarrassed about the misunderstanding but in the end he said that he'd like to go on Friday but that if we weren't okay with it that he'd tell them to not expect them to be there.

I asked her what she was thinking and she said that at first she was thinking like me, that it's a bad thing and not what she wanted to do. Ray even said they could get 2 rooms if that would make it okay but she said that since finding out about the mix-up and thinking about it she was still unsure what to do. She looked at me with those cow-eyes as we talked about an hour or a bit more ago.

I told her I needed to think about it and she said that she had told Ray not to call me but maybe talking to him would help.

I told her that I wasn't sure it was a good idea, two nights and all that. What I didn't say was that I wondered if she may have already known for a while about the arrangements but hadn’t had the courage to ask. However, she did seem pretty genuinely concerned so I put that thought aside. Instead I told her that I wanted some time to think it over and we would talk more about it later.

I think she wants to go with him but mainly because she doesn't want to deny Ray going to the rehearsal stuff. I don't want to ask her that because maybe she'll say, "yeah, that's it" so I don't want to put the idea in her mind.

I'm still not so sure what I am even thinking right now.


I had Suzanna call Ray and I got on the phone with him and said, "WTF is going on?"

He seemed both scared and honest on the other end (it was pouring rain out or I might have driven over there) when he said that he didn't understand how either Suzanna or I hadn’t appreciated that it was 2 nights all along.

He repeated what he had allegedly told Suzanna and said that he didn't want to mess things up at all and that if it was an issue that he'd just tell his brother that he'll be down on Saturday.

I pretty much came out and asked him if he'd somehow schemed all of this and he then said, "no man, I just thought you knew .... Suzanna too" and he proceeded to tell me again how this was like an old ****** friend and that he thought he'd told us that the rehearsal dinner was part of it. As he stumbled through the explanation it seemed like every other word was, "sorry man".

Either he's a great actor or he's telling the truth. Suzanna, likewise, is giving the impression she's not sure about it either but she also promised me, “we'll talk later". I have to say, knowing her for almost 3 decades now, I'm pretty sure that she didn't know this before today either ... or maybe just didn't realize it.

So, I'm now biding my time till our ******** heads off to bed and undoubtedly Suzanna will try to ply me with her body. I'm sure I won't say no to that but I'm not sure about anything else.

As far as Ray scheming this, I don't buy it. He thinks we knew all along so what's there for him to scheme about. To be honest, I never really gave it any thought either but I guess it makes sense.


Last night, as I expected, Suzanna was incredibly passionate with me. I know she sensed and was well aware of the way I was feeling. She again assured me that she was as surprised as I was. The way she said it happened was that after they'd had their time together yesterday that Ray started to talk about more definitive plans and schedules and when he said, "so we'll leave by about 4:30pm on Friday". That was when she first realized what had happened.

In talking to her more, she did say that there have been other things he's said but that she never really put one and one together. She said that when she realized the mistake she'd made, that she was the first to say, "Oh, Stefan will never go for that!"That was when they both realized that it was something that had never really been discussed and for us to be clear on.

I guess I couldn't, and still can't, really blame her.

It seems that it really won't matter much to anyone if they do or do not show up on Friday vs. Saturday although I think Ray is the one who will lose out the most by not being there.

Suzanna has said she does want to go on Saturday and would prefer that to nothing at all but it’s clear to me that if possible she does want to go for both days but only if I'd be okay with it. I asked her how I was supposed to feel and she said "it's only one more day .... but I know that it may not be something you are okay with so it's up to you".

As we were fucking last night, I thought about how we'll feel that Friday night if she doesn't go. I’m still not totally sure about this just yet though.

I've been thinking that on the one hand, it really it just one more night and is that really any different than anything else that's gone on? On the other hand, it's two full days and nights of them being alone together. Part of me says what more can they do together that they haven't done already; the other part says that it's two full days of them being away, romance and the like and, despite what they both say, I’m not sure I like the idea of pushing them together more like this. (Although the thought of her being so sexual with him without much restraint IS very arousing!!).

I guess the cuck in me should just say, "go and have a good time" but this is a first time this would be happening for real where it'd be more than just an overnight together. Again, there's a part of me that definitely would like to tell her it’s okay. There's that same part of me that would still like to tell her to leave her rings home too but I recognise that at times my head is thinking in the cuck-clouds and I need to think a bit more with my other head.

I knew these next 12 days or so were going to be tough on me; I don't think I realized just how I was going to feel, especially now with this new question to be answered.


I'm inclined to believe that Ray hadn’t thought this thing all the way through when he accepted the invitation. I'm not sure about the rehearsal dinner and RSVP stuff but if Ray did make this assumption from the start then I guess it explains why he accepted for the both of them.

We've already told folks that Suzanna is going away for the weekend to see her old college roommate for a bit of a college reunion. Extending it for another day earlier won't be a concern if I don't act like it's a problem.

I'm honestly not sure what to think right now. When I think about it as a cuck, I want her to go for both nights. I know I'll probably be eaten up with anxiety if it happens but I cannot lie there is a huge part of me that truly wants to give her to him for the weekend. I've been through it all again in my head and it is an incredible thought, to give her to him for the weekend knowing they'll fuck all weekend and she'll probably have the time of her life.

I am equally looking forward to her returning to me. I'll even say that I've gone through in my head what I hope to feel with her when she comes back. I've maybe let my mind go to how I almost know she'll feel afterwards and, almost more importantly, what thoughts will be going through my head at the time.

However, I'm not all impulsive (at least not on this one) and there's definitely a part of me that says this is too much, too soon under these questionable circumstances. I'm not saying her going away for a while could never happen, it's bound to happen sooner or later that she'd want to go away with another guy but I am having these other thoughts, is it possible that Suzanna somehow orchestrated this; could she somehow have kept it from coming up until she felt it was the right time to bring it up?

I think she felt conflicted the last times she'd spent the night and now I’m thinking that maybe, somehow, she manipulated both Ray and I to this point. I'm getting the feeling from her that maybe she's herself a little scared to do this. I’m wondering if she's looking to re-live or improve on things that she didn't like when she was with Dan or Peter and maybe this is something she feels she sort of needs to do.

Either way, we need for us all to get together and discuss it openly so we can get it all out in the open. I'll get the ball rolling with Suzanna when she gets home but I must be careful how I word things to be sure I don't lead her on; I need to hear her true thoughts and not what she thinks will turn me on or something like that.


I told her last night that before they fuck again, that I wanted us to all meet and get things out in the open.

Later last night, at her initiation, we swapped Emails and arranged to meet tomorrow night, after dinner, to talk. Ray agreed with me that we should talk and clear the air before they are together again (which I suspect Sue's looking for on Thursday afternoon).

In the Email I pretty much said that I was a little concerned about the apparent miscommunication and that I felt all three of us should talk and be clear about what is going on and what we're all expecting, etc. Ray seemed happy to meet in his reply to me.


The conversation went pretty well. We both went over Ray’s after dinner. We did bring a bottle of wine as that just seemed like the right thing to do.

Ray was actually the first one to say anything and he started by saying that he was really sorry that he wasn't more clear with both of us (Suzanna and I) about the wedding. He said that after I'd said okay to her going with him to the wedding that he'd RSVP'd for both nights and that he never thought there was a question about going off on Friday. He went on to say that it now explained a lot of things he'd been asking himself, how I'd readily agreed without much discussion. Only now did he realize why I hadn’t made much protest and he agreed that 2 nights are a bit different than just one night.

Suzanna was quiet at first but as Ray continued she began to talk too. She said (and I believe her) that she too never realized what Ray was talking about, that is, until last weekend! She laughed about it and said that it also explained a bit about some of the questions that seemed to be there between them. She joked, "no wonder Ray's been so excited about this".

I listened to most of this and when I thought about it all, it did sound to me like it was just an honest miscommunication. The look on Ray's face at times showing his concern couldn't be faked but, nonetheless, I took my turn and aired my concerns. I told them both plainly that I had no problem with them having sex and repeated again that it turned me on to have a ‘hot wife’.

Neither of them said anything and Ray didn't look all that surprised as that's not news to either of them but I did then say, "she is my wife and that I'm not happy with anything that could affect that.” I was clear and said that I wasn't ready for them to be away for 2 days together. We talked more but my conclusion which I stated very firmly was that I wasn't ready for this.

They both looked at me in silence then as Suzanna went to speak Ray sort of asked, "so, then we'll just do the one night then?"

My immediate response was, "well, can't you see how all of this makes me feel; like you guys maybe planned this or somehow conveniently overlooked it?"

They both laughed at what I guess looked to them like paranoia. Ray came out and said openly something like, "look, I love having sex with Suzanna but I don't want to cause any problems for you guys." He added, "This is all great right now because it's working for all of us and I don't want to change that unless you do".

Suzanna turned to me, put her arms around me and said that she loves me and that this is just fun and ‘friends with benefits’ with Ray. she laughed and said that she can't believe she's actually enjoying this kind of thing as much as she is but she added that it's not something she'd ever consider as what she'd want instead of me.

Obviously the wine had made it a bit easier for us to talk more openly. Suzanna actually came out and said to me, "the sex is great with Ray but it is not the same as what I feel with you; I love you!"

That made me melt a little and then. Ray said something like, "yeah, but it's not like I think of her as my wife or that sort of thing?” He then asked, "would it be better if we got 2 rooms and didn't stay together?”

That was my turn to laugh and I retorted, “Yeah, like that might happen!”

We all stayed platonic last night though. I mean I know if I would have suggested it, that they'd probably have gone off for a quickie but I didn't and after we'd killed the bottle of wine and we'd gotten everything out in the open, they both looked at me and sort of said, "well?" implying that they were both waiting for my decision.

I know what I'd said and how I'd felt when we arrived at Ray’s but now, after an hour or so and a bottle of wine later, I didn't feel near the concern that I had. I mean, yeah, I still cringe a little bit thinking of her being with him for 2 days like that but with how they both seemed to be, both incredibly open and seemingly honest, a lot of my concerns seemed for naught.

I took a moment before I replied and let all of that stuff go through my head. As I ran through the scenario in my mind I became aware of my undeniable arousal at the thoughts; I began to feel that I even wanted her to go.

It may sound crazy but in that moment, I literally felt like I'd spun 180 degrees in the opposite direction and no longer had the concerns I previously felt. All I could think of was how I felt when I thought of her being his for the weekend like that and my cock became rock hard thinking of them together like that.

So, in the end, what could I say other than, "okay, I'm sure it'll be alright"


Without the nagging concerns about what may or may not be going on, all I can now think is that I definitely want this. I want to know that she's his sexually for a weekend and that it is me that wants it to happen.

I know I'll probably hate it next weekend (oh god, it's only like 8 days from now!) but at the same time, I know I will not stop thinking about it whenever I'm masturbating. I will watch videos and I will find a ‘creampie’ one, and all I will think is that the star will be Suzanna next weekend.

When such thoughts overtake me, I spew like a fire-hydrant. Suzanna has commented on how horny I seem lately and that she’ noticed how many sticky wads of tissues she's seen during the week in the trash!

When we got into bed last night she was all happy with me and offered to ‘help me’ if I wanted to masturbate. She leaned over and helped stroke me hard and then she told me calmly how happy she was and how horny she's going to be about it all. I told her as she worked to get me off that she ought to not see Ray next week until they leave. She smiled and said she loved me for thinking of her like that. A few moments later she surprised me and leaned over and sucked my cock. She pulled off and said I should think of her doing this to Ray. Needless to say, I came in her mouth a moment later.

She is seeing him tonight and joked as she sucked me last night that, "this will keep you happy and I'll be all clean for Ray".

What can I say?


My balls feel like a sponge that's been well wrung out. Between last Thursday night and last night, I think Suzanna and I have fucked like 6 or 7 times! Right now, I can barely get hard much less stay that way but I did manage one last time last night. She was done cumming herself earlier yesterday but she kept to her word when she said that I could have her as much as I wanted. She was surprised when last night I asked her if she could stand one more time. She giggled and said, "If you can get it hard again, you can use me again". She stopped giggling when I got it hard and said, "wow, you are really horny!” She was still wet from our earlier bout but, just to be sure, I used a little lubricant.

She just lay back and pulled her knees back for me and said, "go ahead and enjoy" and so I did.

Sometimes I would feel guilty about just using her pussy like that but not after how she'd cum earlier. Both Saturday and earlier last night I made her scream and cum like a fountain. She told me afterwards that she'd been thinking about next weekend and I told her I knew it and that I was okay with it. At one point I even told her that Ray is going to even be surprised if she's like that next weekend and later on she agreed, that despite how much she may have let herself go with him before, that being with him alone for 2 days is going to be very different.


So, yes, I did tell her that she can go and a lot of our conversation over this weekend was about the wedding. It didn't really include much teasing or anything like that, instead it was very passionate and very intimate between us.

When we did talk about the wedding she repeatedly assured me that it's not something I should be worrying about; that she's not running off on me or falling in love with Ray at all. Indeed at one point she said, and I do believe her, that all of this has actually made her feel more in love with me (if that was possible) and that she knows that for me to have said she can go must be because it is something that I want to experience. She said she'll give me that although she still can't fully understand it all. She said she accepts that I want to feel how it is to give her up for a weekend and for her to then come back to me afterwards. In between saying over and over “I love you” and “I'll do anything for you” she made it clear that if this is what I want then she'll do it including making sure I know she's having sex, as she put it, "lots of it too!".

At one point last night she did tell me to look at her as she lay naked under me with her legs spread ready for me. She told me that, "this is how Ray will have me for 2 whole days" and as she pulled me down close to her she whispered in my ear, "fuck me like Ray will be doing all next weekend".

Wow, did that really get me going and, wow, did she respond. Whatever the turn-on, wow, the intensity of that fuck between us was just incredible. By the end it didn't matter what had turned us both on or even what we were both thinking about it was one of those fucks that seemed to just get better and better. We rolled about on the bed and with her up on top she rode me till she screamed and brought me to the edge. I can't even remember how many times she came, including several that left her throbbing and shaking but afterwards when we looked each other in the eye, well, it just left us feeling very connected.


I would have felt more concerned had the weekend not been what it was. At times when we talked, Suzanna made it very clear that it is just sex and that they are just friends. She actually said that she feels different about things with Ray than she did with Peter or Dan; she said that she doesn't feel like she's being pressured or convinced to make it more. She said that she looks back at her time with them and that she always felt they wanted more and more from her but she doesn't feel that with Ray. Instead she said she feels like he is truly just thankful for what he is getting and that he never pushes for anything more than what she wants. Whether that's her manipulation of him or whatever, I felt her words seemed to come from her heart.

In the end, I think it's like this. It's been several years now and, honestly, it doesn't really faze me that she has sex with him. It's just that simple; she spreads her legs for him and that in itself doesn't have a whole lot of meaning behind it.

I think back to the few times we went and checked out some swing-clubs almost a decade ago and now I can actually understand so much more of what I'd/we'd seen back then of how it seemed to be no big deal that the wife/gf would just go off and fuck someone. At the time we weren't ready for that but, now, it actually seems like it's no big deal. Now I look more for how Suzanna and I are when we're together as being more important to me/us and that is why this past weekend was so rewarding to me. I know a lot of our arousal was thinking about what was coming up but it was directed to each other and there can be no hiding the intense pleasure we shared.


She will not be seeing Ray this week. She told me that when she got home last Thursday and that the wedding will be the next time for them and giggled that, "he'll be really horny by then". As for us this week, we haven't said too much about it but, for sure, a part of me does want to send her off just as horny. That is the turn on for me, to send her off with him all ripe and horny but I may weaken and by the end of the week may have to have one last time with her.

I'm having many more thoughts swimming in my head including the crazy idea of Ray doing the whole ‘carry her over the threshold’ thing after the wedding. Another one which will certainly remain as just that, a crazy thought, would be if Suzanna were to bring her own wedding dress (as if it'd still fit!) and for her to let Ray undress her as I did almost 25 years ago. I haven’t shared any of them with Suzanna but kept them in my head .... for now.

So, that's it. I'm stoic on a Monday morning with my balls totally drained. I know by the end of the week I'll be climbing the walls. It seems like just yesterday this wedding was months away. Now it's just days.

It makes sense to me that my wanting her to go away like this for both nights is perhaps simply a more explicit and intense desire to feel the experience of denial. Maybe it's knowing that Ray is taking my weekend time with Suzanna that is my turn-on.


I mentioned last night to Suzanna about, "I think it's coming up on a year with Ray now". She was quiet for a second and then said, "Yeah, I guess so, I'm not keeping track...” but it did lead to an interesting conversation about how effortless it's all been with Ray compared to all of the commotion when she was with Dan. She laughed thinking back but then also said that she never fully realized how turned on ‘certain things’ made me. I asked her if knowing that might have changed things with Dan and she said, "Maybe, I don't know, he was kind of a jerk".

Otherwise, we really didn't talk much more about the big event. It's like the pink-elephant in the room right now. All I do know is that she's already told me, "you're on your own" (sexually) and then she asked me, "that's what you want, right, to wait for me till Sunday, right?” I nodded yes despite hoping she'll give me a little fun before she leaves ... but I doubt it.

Anyway, I'm going to go off now to find some project to start that'll keep me busy through the week and into the weekend. There's a long list of stuff that I never get around to, maybe clean the garage?

I have a feeling time is going to fly till Friday and then the weekend will crawl by.


I do have second thoughts about agreeing to denial before they leave and have definitely considered telling her I want her before she goes. Then I just think about how much she wants this and how it turns me on knowing that she's wanting me to wait. I know it's crazy, but the idea that I may not have her before she comes back is both killing me to think about and yet, at the same time, knowing how horny she will be by then is just an incredible turn on.

Seeing her get changed tonight, slipping off her panties and pulling on her night-shirt, I got a glimpse of her pussy and I am just totally rock-hard and almost ready to cum just from typing this knowing that this time it's actually her that wants it. I can't explain it but I'm about to burst from the thought.

My head is all over the place. I just stepped away for a few minutes and I had one thought, that on the one hand, I tell her I want her or, on the other hand, do I go for it and have this give me everything it can in terms of experiencing all of being a cuckold?

It's weird to think that I want her so much to want him but I do. As crazy as that may be there’s another part of me that wants to ask for her rings before she leaves; another thing I want is to sit on the bed while she packs her bag and see what clothes she's packing. Is that weird or crazy? I guess it's the symbolism of it, the realities of being a cuckold. I have chills up my spine thinking about it.

But the biggest turn on for me is still thinking that it’s her that wants it this time.

okay, I'm scared stiff too. if I think about it too much, it scares me. I don't think I'm scared of losing her, I still just don't see it, but I think I'm scared to have it happen although maybe it’s apprehension and not fear. It does seem that it's approaching very quickly.

She promised me that she'd give me something that I'll enjoy before she leaves. I'm not quite sure what that means just yet.

Am I crazy? Yeah.


Another book filled to be put on the shelf with the, wow, 25 others!