Journal of a Journey - Book Twenty Nine

The weekend was quite nice and it was good to see her regaining her horniness. Saturday night and Sunday was a bit of a break for us both with the heat and work around the house. She did not see Ray this past weekend but is planning for Thursday. Last night she did tease me a bit saying I should ‘have her before she puts her panties back on’ which she did just after we'd both gotten cleaned up. As she put it, "you'll just have to wait your turn again".


Suzanna's returned to wearing panties all the time. Tuesday night it was quite warm and whereas she probably would have slept in the nude in the past that night, she lay there next to me with just a pair of panties on.

Last night we had a bit more time in the bedroom and it was a re-do of what she'd asked me for a few weeks ago only this time it was more that she ‘told’ me instead of asking me. Last time she'd asked me if I ‘wanted some alone time’; last night she told me, "I want to be sure you're not all frustrated tomorrow night when I'm over Ray’s". I was going to reply that I was going that I had planned on having some fun when she said, "I want to watch you again, you know, like the last time". I was kind of surprised by her telling me this like she did but at the same time it was such a turn on to know that she wanted watch me (I've always loved masturbating for an appreciative audience!)

I knew she wasn't going to take her panties off to give me some additional fodder for my imagination but she didn't have a top on as she lay next to me on her elbow and her hard nipples gave away that she was also aroused at watching. I slid off my boxers and I heard her giggle when she saw that I was already hard. Without looking at her I knew she was staring as I slowly started to stroke. She did reach out with her hand and wipe away the first drop or two of pre-cum. At first I thought she was going to wipe it onto my lips or tongue but instead she licked it off herself and said that it tasted sweet.

I probably didn't need it but she started to tease me anyway. She told me how she'd missed seeing Ray last week and how he ‘hoped he hadn't cum since last time’ so it'd all be for her. She then proceeded to tell me how she hoped he'd ‘cum a lot in me’. It wasn't what she said as much as how she said it with this sort of erotic tease to it that got me really going and as soon as she said it she let out this moan as if she was imagining it herself. Hearing her moan like that set me off and I started to stroke more urgently and she knew I was close. When she said, "you'll just have to wait till Friday" was when I felt the first spurts let loose. She moaned herself (and I swear she was rubbing her legs together) as I squeezed out the last few thick drops.

I lay there afterwards for a minute to catch my breath. I felt her move a bit and when felt her hand on me I opened my eyes to watch her pushing all of my cum into one big blob and then she scooped it up into her cupped fingers. I knew what to expect so I wasn't surprised when she asked me in this sexy voice, "do you want it?” I think I was just so entranced by her being so cool and casual about it that I just slowly nodded my head and managed to say, "okay". She slid up and sat more comfortably next to me and I think I did it without her even saying anything, I opened my mouth and without either of us saying anything she put her fingers in my mouth and I licked them clean. She knows I don't mind the taste of cum so it was kind of erotic to gently suck her fingers clean. When she'd finished scooping up whatever she could, she leaned down and hugged and kissed me.

So, not more than 5-10 minutes later, we were back watching TV as we'd been just before but I was thinking (actually, I knew) that she was going to probably do as she'd done the last time and would want me to do it again. She'd said both times that she didn't want me feeling all horny and frustrated waiting for her. Just that thought coming from her was a turn-on and I know she knows it now.

Sure enough, when the TV Show came to an end having her lying next to me still naked except for panties had kept me a bit distracted and it was no surprise when she turned to me and said, "I know you can cum again, I think it'd be good for you for tomorrow.... What do you think, You ready to show me again?”

This time she started to tease me a bit more. She got me really going when she compared me cumming twice for her to Ray ‘hopefully’ fucking her twice tonight. She didn't say it outright but thinking that my 2 loads of cum will be all over my chest while Ray’s will be in her pussy really got to me. She did comment on how big and hard I seemed for my ‘second time tonight’ and she did tease me and say, "one night I'll have to let you have seconds with me like Ray does".

Wow, she has definitely turned a corner with me and is now very open and up front about all of this. It is such a turn-on to be a part of seeing her sexual side really coming to the front.

In the end I was really stroking away and she said, "Come on baby, let me see how much you can cum the second time" and then she said "too bad it's not in me, huh?" Oh my god, hearing her say that really got to me and I felt my second orgasm starting. She giggled and said something like, "come on, let it all out, you'll feel so much better". I turned my eyes towards her and saw that she was leaning forward on one elbow seeming to be eagerly watching my hand on my cock. I went with the moment and thought about a billion different things but I was mainly fixated on her comment about ‘too bad it's not in me’ and when I thought that she really does not want me to cum in her but that she really does want Ray to ... I lost it the second time and this time, while I obviously didn't cum as much as the first time, I could tell that it was so much thicker. I was looking at her through the corner of my eye and saw the smile on her face when I drew out the last few really thick looking drops.

That second time took a lot out of me so I lay back again and caught my breath. I knew what was going to happen next, I could tell from how she was acting. Sure enough I felt her fingers on my stomach wiping around and then she just said, "open up". Even though I'd just cum it felt incredibly erotic for me to lick her fingers off again. She again had a smile on her face that left no doubt she was actually enjoying this herself and not just because I was enjoying it.

We again lay back and I tried to look at the TV but, as I'd expected, just before we were going to turn out the lights she reached over and slid her hand into my boxers and stroked me gently and said, "Wanna go again?”

I groaned, my cock ached and there was just no way I was up for a 3rd time. I told her that "I think you've drained me pretty well" and she smiled and said, "Good, I want you content tomorrow waiting for me". She gave it a few more strokes and said coyly, "are you sure?”

I replied something like, "I doubt I'd have anything left" and she giggled and said, "yeah, I don't feel it getting hard at all". She pulled her hand out and rolled over onto me and kissed me passionately and said, "I love you". I kissed her back and that was pretty much all there was to it. I suppose I could have asked her tons of stuff and we could have stayed up for hours but instead we turned the TV off and snuggled up together.


This morning she was quite lovey-dovey with lots of kisses and such. Of course there was no letting me see at her pussy at all, she even shunned me from the bathroom while she was in the shower and accused me of, "wanting to peek". Yes, it was all in play, but, wow, it's just great to experience this with her. She preened around in the bedroom, again, with either just a towel around her waist, or with the pair of panties she pulled up under it. She laughed out loud at the tent in my boxers! After we'd had some breakfast and were getting coffee she reminded me that she was seeing Ray tonight, not this afternoon, but tonight. As she put it , she wanted to have a bit more time with him since she'd missed him last week!

It's obvious that her father being a bit more stable and being scheduled to go to rehab soon has eased her mind and returned the desire between her legs!

I will say, her request last night has definitely taken the edge off me tonight while I'm waiting for her to get home a bit later. While I am horny and could probably go for a round, I also know that come tomorrow night, I'll be randy and ready.


I see is Suzanna enjoying some very passionate and very physical sex with Ray. I suspect that she doesn't share every detail with me but knowing what she's done is a huge turn-on to me even without hearing about every position they tried. I'm not sure I want to hear about everything either for her whole attitude about all of this is a tremendous source of pleasure and satisfaction in and of itself to me.

The thing that I feel (and I've thought about this for a while now) is that she's become very turned on herself about this new dynamic between us. Ray doesn't care if she's all clean for him. She knows it and he's said to both of us that he likes her and the experience when she comes to him after she and I have fucked. This says to me that she likes the dynamic that her denial-play brings to our relationship and I know it makes me much more attentive to her in general which I think has only strengthened things between us.

The other thing is that she only sees him at most once a week which may have finally relaxed her sexual-mores to let herself feel more like way back when she (and everyone else our age) enjoyed sex for just that, sex. Rose-colored glasses maybe?

That said, I'll admit to wanting her to truly desire him and perhaps experience her denying me more. I think it would turn me on to think that she would truly prefer him. I can't believe I am actually admitting it but I also can't really deny it. Maybe her having embraced of all of this so far is giving me courage to admit and say that in the right circumstances, I would want to try it. I've always admitted to being a cuckold and from the very beginning I've held this dark arousal of her truly wanting another guy sexually more than me.

My comfort with Ray is also something that is often on my mind. Do I take him for granted in terms of his direct or indirect desires for Suzanna? I think that she does look beautiful under him as the passion overtakes her and she has become so much more confident sexually.

I understand that after menopause many women shrivel away from sex but I think it a wonderful thing for her and she actually thinks it's great and has gained confidence and while she's never used the word cuckold with me, I am now sure that she has a much clearer understanding of just what pushes my buttons and turns me on.

Perhaps that’s the thing that I feel the most, that the teasing she does isn't at my expense or to denigrate me, instead, it's to turn me on even more and increase my pleasure with her. At least that's the way it feels to me.


We have just enjoyed a romantic and sexually-infused weekend. The kids seem to know that mom and *** might want some alone time and they had both disappeared to go and do their own things.

I will say that there was minimal teasing and such between us (other than what went through my head) and it was a pretty normal, non-cuck-ish, weekend for us! With the kids out of the house for a while last night, Suzanna and I relaxed with several martini's before we adjourned to our bedroom.

With no inhibiting kids around she was very responsive and really got into me going-down on her and licking her pussy till she screamed. After finally relaxing her hold on my head between her legs I slid up and my rigid cock glided into her almost effortlessly. At points I held her hands above her head and she responded so beautifully by hunching her hips upwards as I pushed into her. We hugged and kissed passionately as I fucked her gently until the end when we both held off as much as possible till the first spurts from me pushed her over the edge. Her pussy spasming on my cock made me shiver in delight as I felt her orgasm under me.

We obviously talked about Ray, actually for most of the weekend, and we recounted the past week and I shared my thoughts. She did get home late on Thursday and it was neat to be able to be excited by her when she got home but to not feel the tremendous urge to have her then since she'd eased my desires on Wednesday. Friday night was equally as pleasurable especially when she teased me a bit about, "finally, it's your turn" and "hope you enjoyed waiting". She saw and felt the arousal and I know it turned her on as much as it did me.

Our son was out of the house and our ******** was in bed already by the time the fun started on Friday night. Suzanna commented several times on Friday night of just, "how big your cock seems" as I brought her to several orgasms before we got down to real business for me. I told her that, "this is what happens when you make me wait" as she moaned quietly and told me to ‘go easy’ on her as she was still a bit sore from Thursday night (as if that wouldn't turn me on!).


There's a lot I could write about Suzanna and I; how we'll 69 for ages, sometimes going at it together, other times her ravishing my cock till I am almost on the edge and then switching places where I will lick and probe her until she is shaking with passion, A lot of the time I let my mind go and think about her and Ray (or just her and other guys). Other times those thoughts are far away and I am merely intoxicated with her. Last night she knelt at the edge of the bed and I teased her pussy till she begged me to slam it into her. It was so awesome to push us both to the edge; seeing her pussy spasming and me pushing the tip of my cock in and out. It drove us both crazy.

And there is nothing more intense then holding her tightly and passionately as we both reach orgasm almost simultaneously. It's something we've almost always been able to share together; something about us both knowing the other is about to cum seems to intensify it so much.

I should also add that she does not cum this way with Ray, it is more the exception with them and she usually reaches her climax first. Although she does say she enjoys it as she's coming down to feel him release there's still a hotness in them not cumming together.


Wednesday night and Suzanna and I have discussed a lot of stuff in the past few days and she's shared that since my acceptance and obvious arousal at the whole wedding thing, she says she's now much more comfortable and accepting of all of this. What I've learned explains the openness of what's now become our Wednesday routine.

Sure enough, last night after our ******** had said goodnight about 10pm we adjourned to our bedroom where we got ready for bed. She stood at the sink in just panties and looked up at me several times in the mirror and saw me smiling at her and the situation. I have attached a lot of symbolism (is that the right word?) in my head about seeing her in just her panties and she knows it turns me on to think about what she's doing.

We watched some TV but, sure enough, when the show was over she sat up next to me and said, "This really seems to have helped you the last few times" and she reached down into my boxers. She giggled when she felt that I was already hard which may seem out of context but we'd also talked about this too and, well, it didn't seem so out of the blue. I nodded and told her that I enjoyed sharing it with her and that yes; it did make it a lot easier for me. She smiled and teased me a little bit as she stroked me and then said I should take over.

Just as I love to watch her masturbate, she seems to very much enjoy watching me. There is something about her staring intently as I pleasure myself that gets me going and she told me again that she thought it was good if I reduced my desires for tomorrow (today) and she teased me a bit asking, "are you thinking about Ray and me tomorrow?” At one point she said, "It turns you on to think about me all creamy, doesn't it?”

I was totally into it. I had my feet dug into the bed and at points my hand was a blur. I don't recall exactly what she said that got me totally going but it was something like, "I'll be all messy tomorrow night". She knows me so well that just as I was about to let loose she giggled and said, "Let me help you tonight". With that she leaned over, took my hand away and then sucked me till I let go. She let me pump into her mouth several times and then as I pulled out the last time, something she's learned so well from me, she put her thumb at the base of my cock and drew out the last few drops of cum. I shuddered as I fell back against the bed; it felt awesome to let go like that.

A second later she moved up and lay against me and in the split second before it happened I realized she wanted to snowball with me. I lay back and she puckered her lips and kissed me and as we began to French-kiss she shared my cum with me. It was so erotic to tongue-dance with her and feel and taste it all over. It was the first load from me and afterwards when we'd both swallowed, she said something to the effect that, "your first time is always so sweet" and I understood that to be her agreement that my second and if possible 3rd time dribbles are much more acrid and pungent tasting!

Just like last week and before that, she lay against my chest as we watched some more TV. Maybe 30 minutes or so later I felt her hand snake down and once again start to gently fondle me. She looked up at me and said, "ready for a 2nd time?” She knew from what I'd told her that I enjoyed 2nds and that the times when she'd coax a 3rd time out of me, that I'd be drained for the entire next day.

She only needed to get me started up and I was into it. I actually kind of enjoy the dull ache afterwards from masturbating. Again the TV was on in the background but she was whispering/teasing me in my ear again. She again started to say thing about my cum being on my chest and stomach and that Ray’s cum going to be in her next. Man did that turn me on. Sure enough, with just a little more teasing I was again ready to cum with just a little more encouragement from her kissing my ear and cooing how, "hot you look jerking off" I again let go with whatever I had. She giggled and when I caught my breath she again leaned up on one elbow and looked at me and said, "do you want it?” She knew that it turned me on when she asked me to lick it off her fingers.

We'd watched something else that was playing and then she reached down once again and said, "are you up for a 3rd time tonight?” I groaned at her and said something like, "if I am, it's going to be tiny". She smiled and asked, "Will it feel good to cum?" I told her yes and she said she thought it was sexy and that she, "always loves to watch". Despite the ache I obviously felt in my nuts and cock again it just turned me on to slip off my boxers and let her watch me go at it.

She teased me that, "you can take my panties off on Friday ..." and that " ... you can have me then". It's not just what she said but it was how she said it, so sexy and confident and comfortable! Sure enough, my reluctant cock was soon fully hard and once again she seemed entranced. Echoing more of things we'd talked about she again told me how erotic she thought it was when a guy cums. That got me going good and, sure enough, just after just a few more minutes I was as ready as I could be to cum a 3rd time.

The 3rd orgasm for me felt awesome, in some ways maybe even better than the first 2 but when I looked down at my cock there was barely 2 spurts before the last just dribbled down my hand. She kissed me passionately just after I'd stroked the last bits out and as she broke the kiss she said quietly to me, "do you want it?". I nodded my head and she smiled and I watched her use her fingers to scoop up what I'd just spewed. We could both smell it and I knew it was going to be really tart tasting so I prepared myself, it was erotic sucking her finger clean.

Afterwards I lifted my butt up and she smiled as she pulled my boxers back up for me. That was followed by one of the most intense kisses and emotional moments in a while. Crazy how this 'scene' between us seems to make us feel so close to each other. She hugged me and told me several times how much she loved me.

This morning she smiled as she did the whole panty-under-the-towel routine and as she walked by me at one point she gently patted my deflated cock and she said, "Feels like you enjoyed last night".

It’s now, noon and my cock is barely waking up!


Suzanna's over at Ray’s right now. She had gone to visit her *** at the rehab centre straight from work and is, by now, surely at Ray’s. She's been under a lot of stress from all of this and now is dealing with long-term care stuff.

I might as well get straight to the point. Denial turns me on. I know I'm not alone in this so that part is comforting but I can't deny it myself. I did look back and re-read some of my earliest thoughts and feelings. I think what I see now when I look back at those times is that, in a way, deep down I may have known where all of this was heading but may have been scared or reluctant to accept it.

I know that a lot of the arousal I feel is perhaps vicarious in the sense that I do truly get a very deep sense of pleasure knowing Suzanna is so openly wanting sex. Maybe it's best that it's taken 30 years of us knowing each other and 25 years of marriage to reach this point. There is so much more to ‘us’ than just sex that opening up this part doesn't quite seem so scary or at least not as much as just a few years ago.

I know that Suzanna's taken baby steps along the way but at the same time the changes have been for me evolutionary. I ache when I think of some of the things she experienced with Peter but at the same time it turned me on so much knowing that she was letting herself feel sexual desire of other men. From that first time seeing her give herself to Peter, I think it made me realise that I wanted her to want other guys and, eventually, be able to express a desire to even at times to prefer them to me.

I know I encouraged her to want other guys as I wanted to have it happen despite my apprehensions; I really wanted her to do it. I enjoyed knowing she did it and I think my encouragement has helped her accept my crazy desires.

There is something just incredibly arousing to me that she will wear panties around me all week and knowing that tonight Ray will have her and that I'll (comfortably thanks to last night) have to wait till tomorrow. I can't find the words to describe the kind of sexual elation I feel when this happens. It's been the same all along and I recognize that it is very much a combination of her opening up her desires and her denying me at the same time. Just the act of it alone, her being with him tonight and me waiting, is it any different than my encouraging her to let Peter be the first to try out her IUD; any different than me encouraging her to let Ray be the first to have her without any birth-control? I know I can never have those moments for myself but in that very same breath knowing she shared those moments with another guy is just incredibly arousing. Is it any different than my enjoying thinking about her first honeymoon with her ex-husband and them fucking?

Now, I can tell you that from what we've talked about and shared over the past few days, I genuinely feel that there is no danger here. For Suzanna, she shared that her father’s illness has affected her in the sense that she realizes that you need to live for today and if there's things that please us today that as long as there's a tomorrow, she shouldn't put off getting her pleasure (as she put it). The other thing she's shared is that my suggestion, acceptance and, as she learned, my desire for her to leave her wedding rings home when she went with Ray has seemingly removed the last traces of her apprehension at giving into my ‘crazy thoughts’ as she puts it.

She said that on her return from being away with him for three days that she was at first hesitant and concerned at how I'd be but then, after seeing that I was truly happy and very turned on by it all and that I didn't harbour any ill-feelings at all, she said it just seemed to make the difference somehow to her mentally and she's now much more comfortable in all of this. She confessed that she doesn't fully understand why I am so aroused at her playful denial but says that knowing it does it makes her want him so much more.

At one point I came out and said, "So, do you love Ray?” which made her look at me as if I had two heads and say, "No, why ever would you think that?" She said she actually felt more like he was a brother than a lover in terms of how she feels emotionally about him. I asked her if he would say the same thing. She laughed and she said that she doesn't think he's ever said that he loves her. Not even in the height of pleasure when she's likely to scream it out. She said she is sure he doesn't have any romantic desires. She joked that she actually sometimes feels kind of slutty at what is going on given there seems to be so little emotional connection between them. She did hug me at another point and tell me that at many times either before or after they have sex, that there is a lot more of a connection going and certainly a lot of intimacy but in another way she feels like a sex-object for him. She knows he likes looking at her naked body and she likes that he makes her feel very special.

I will share that she has said now on multiple occasions that she does wish Ray was a bit more demanding; not to the extreme that Dan was but more than he is. I told her that I too missed that edginess that Dan had and she agreed that he did push her but looking back she doesn't hate him like she did; she realizes he helped her come to terms with her own desires, much as the time with Ray has brought her to come to terms with my desires.

I haven't come out and told her that it would turn me on if more happened, whether it's her seeing Ray more, denying me or teasing me more or whatever. In that sense I do still want her to grow at her own pace and react to her own desires.

She asked me very bluntly to tell her how I felt and why I asked/agreed with her to leave her rings home. I told her openly that it turned me on to know she'd be his for 3 days and I told her that I thought leaving her rings at home would let her go into that role more easily. She is the one who linked all of that to asking me if it turned me on seeing her rings waiting at home and knowing what she was doing. It was a rhetorical question as she obviously knew the answer.

Thing is, come tomorrow night and this weekend it will only become more intense and more pleasurable for both of us now she's turned it up a notch and is wearing panties all the time, etc. I haven't been fully able to articulate how ‘waiting for her’ turns me on but she knows it does and she's also now admitted that knowledge gives her pleasure and makes her want to do it ‘for me’. At one point she said, "I don't fully understand it but I know it turns you on when I don't let you see my pussy for days" and then she confessed that it has also made her much more aware of how intense our sex is when we do get back together.

While she didn't ever say it, I am convinced that before the end of the summer that she and Ray will somehow go away together for a few days again and the thought of it turns me on incredibly. Just as seeing that picture of him with his hand over her pussy in the shower turns me on, knowing she is so sexual with him is what turns me on like it does. I know that when the time comes and them going away is mentioned that I will hem and haw at the thought of it and I will surely have all the same concerns and issues but at the same time I would also openly admit that I will surely say okay to it and that I will even admit to hoping it happens.


To me the denial works because I know that there will be a time when it will be my turn to have her. If I didn't know that or, more specifically, know when that would happen, I couldn't do it. I think if it went on unendingly, that eventually I would lose my arousal and perhaps even become pissed off about it. Without explicitly discussing this, I think Suzanna's aware of my attitude as at times she's mentioned how hard it is for me to wait for her on Thursday nights much less for longer periods of times in the past. For sure, she could jerk-me off or ask me to masturbate and even give me blow-jobs to tide me over, but we both know that for almost 30 years now, the intensely satisfying physical sexual experiences has been a key part of our relationship. For now, we are both aware that the denial and teasing and all the rest have only served to intensify the sex between us. I am confident that we are both aware of how important this is for us and I am equally confident that Suzanna wouldn't want it to change.


I would like her to be more demanding (and I've told her such indirectly) as it turns me on so much when she does, especially when she does it without my prompting or suggesting, etc.

She says it turns her on knowing that her making demands has that effect on me and she pretty much came out and said that if her teasing/denial ever stopped turning me on that she'd probably end that part of it. She was also quick to say that she'd still like to keep fucking (‘sleeping with’ was her way of putting it) Ray unless that also wasn't doing it for me.

I immediately told her that it still continues to turn me on that:

a) She is doing the whole denial thing and,

b) That I wanted her to continue fucking Ray for as long as she wants it.

At other points, I've been very open and up-front about it all. For example, she came home last Thursday night about 9:30pm. Both of our kids were busy with other stuff that they didn't even pay attention to mom coming home so late. I was already up in the bedroom and she came up and, at first, didn't say much until I came out and asked her, "how was your night?”

She reached down and felt that my cock wasn't too hard and giggling said, "are you sure you want to hear about it?”

It was my turn to laugh and I told her that our ‘Wednesday fun’ does really keep me off the edge adding, " ... but that I suspect you're a mess ... " and reaching out to cup her pussy, " ... still turns me on!”

She giggled again and said something like, "okay, let me get changed first". I thought she might relax the whole panty thing but she actually turned to me and with a smile on her face said, "Can you leave the room for a minute". I swear, even though my cock still felt drained from Wednesday, damn, if that didn't make me throb.

I gave her a few minutes and when I went back into the bedroom she'd changed into just a pair of sweat-pants and a t-shirt. I didn't even look to see if she'd changed her panties, I let that thought stay in my head.

I can't remember all of what we talked about but at one point I did ask her if she was still all wet from Ray. She smiled at me, reached one hand down into her sweatpants and a second later pulled it out and held her fingers up to me. She didn't need to say a word, my cock ached at the as I licked at her fingers knowing what I was tasting.

She told me about her evening with Ray. I knew what to expect but her recap confirmed things. Yes, she still enjoys being half-naked with him, just wearing one of his button-down shirts. She says that he likes how she leaves it smelling after they're done. It almost seemed easier to talk about it when we knew we wouldn't be having sex.

From what she told me then and also later is just how comfortable and relaxed they are together. The difference now is that is that she's not hesitant to tell me about anything, whether it's her cumming under him (either his tongue or his cock) or whether it's him almost cumming as she sucks him or how he liked to get behind her or on top of her; we’ve long gone past the point now where she feels like she has to hide the comfort she feels with him.

We also talked about the whole denial thing. She mentioned it after this latest episode when she asked me to leave the room and had definitely seen the smile on my face and knowing that it all turned me on and we had also talked pretty openly about it on Saturday night after we got home from the surprise party.

She asked me again if I liked our new Wednesday routine and I told her that I always liked jerking-off for her. She then said that she thought it was really erotic what we were doing and repeated what she's often said to me, that she loves seeing me (or guys in general) cum. Then she said, very calmly and openly, that it turned her on in other ways too. I asked her what she meant and she said that seeing me cum all over my stomach and hands instead of in her it turned her on to think, and this is how she said it, " ... that you're doing that instead of cumming inside me". She added quietly, “ ... knowing it was Ray going to cum in me next was turning me on a lot now.”

I didn't hesitate at all to tell her that those same thoughts were in my head too. She seemed a little surprised at how calm I seemed when I said that to her, her response was "really?" and "wow" and that led us back into talking about denial more. She asked me to tell her a bit more about how I felt and I told her that knowing she wanted me to be ‘well-drained’ while she was out with Ray on Thursday was exciting to me. She giggled and asked me to explain more. I told her plainly that it turned me on even more to jerk-off like that for her knowing why I was doing it. I then repeated what I'd said to her on Thursday that her coming home with her pussy full of Ray’s cum really got me horny and that’s what I thought about a lot as I stroked my cock.

We didn't get totally into it but we started opening up talking about how she felt when Dan was demanding stuff from her. I told her that while I personally found him offensive, that at the same time, I thought he had made her grow a lot sexually and that it turned me on that she wanted to do what he wanted. She giggled and said that she'd always found it difficult at the time because she was still uncertain about me but she said that now that she understands more of what turns me on, that she could understand what I meant about Dan. At one point I came out and told her that I missed Dan making demands on her to which she responded, feeling how I/we feel now, whether I would have been okay with her going away with him. I told her that I wasn't sure about where the limits would have been with him and simply said that, "he'd asked for a lot of things that I wasn't ready for". She smiled and said something to the effect of us having a lot of time for us to figure out all of this stuff.


I'm expecting Suzanna home any minute now but will add that in addition to all the talking last night that we did a lot of fucking too, so much so that it was her turn this time to complain about me leaving her sore this morning. The other thing our talks confirmed was that this morning she has resumed wearing panties all the time.


I'm going to ask her one day to confirm that my impression that she enjoys her time with Ray knowing she's left me somewhat satisfied from the day before. I can't say that she's said anything about it but I do get that sense and that is also what totally turns me on about the whole thing. That she is doing it so that she can enjoy her time on Thursday even more is an intense turn-on for me.


Suzanna has told me that she'd got some of her ideas for Wednesday night from reading some story in Penthouse Letters where the wife/gf did something similar about her lover getting to cum in her but not let her husband/bf who she asked to jerk-off into a tissue or the floor or something like that. I've suspected for some time that some of what she's often seemed to enjoy or even orchestrate has also been very similar to other stories in Penthouse. I’m thinking that this is where she got the idea for me be licking up my own cum and it's these revelations or something that it seems to turn her on more. As I said, it seems that since the wedding that she seems to be much more open in general and more confident / less hesitant in talking to me.


It’s Wednesday night and we have enjoyed what has now become our new routine, I knew and hoped and expected her to want me to masturbate for her. Sure enough, after we said goodnight to the kids we adjourned to the bedroom and she locked the door which confirmed my expectations. We lay in bed about an hour and a half ago now she reached over and lay against me and ran her hand up my leg. When she felt my cock she giggled at how swollen it already felt and she asked me if I was looking forward to this.

I told her it turned me on to know that she likes watching me as well as knowing what it means for me tomorrow. As I started to stroke I asked her how she liked all of this. She paused for a second and then said that she hasn't felt this ‘alive’ in a long time. She laughed and said, "I never expected menopause to be so much fun".

I told her I loved that she was ‘having fun’ and asked her, "how come you don't see Ray more than once a week, doesn't he want more even if you don't?"

I've certainly asked her many other similar types of questions but this time she definitely paused for a moment before answering. She responded, and I’m paraphrasing, and said she doesn't want to see Ray more than once a week because she likes what they/we have right now and she doesn't want it to become anything more than it is right now between them. I laughed at that and she knew I did so because of the wedding but she quickly answered that, "that's exactly why". I asked what she really meant and that's when she said something like, "yeah, every now and then, because if it was more all the time, it'd get out of hand".

I asked whether Ray would want to see her more. She said that she knows he definitely would like to see her more if she'd let it happen. So I asked, “doesn't he ever want to go out?”

She said that she's asked him that and his answer was that if he only gets to see her alone once a week, she giggled and said, "There’s only one way he wants to spend it".

The whole scene seemed to get to me; we're talking about their new normal routine while we're mid-way through ours. I found myself wicked hard and pretty close to cumming. She was cooing and making other sounds at times like moans and such. It was hearing her saying, very casually and nonchalantly, that, "he cums so much when we only see each other once a week" and that really got to me and, sure enough, a second later I spewed my first load of the evening. She giggled as she knew it was her teasing that had caused it. This time she didn't even ask, she just scooped it up and put her fingers against my lips.

We watched some TV and at a commercial break she got out of bed and went to the bathroom for a second. She came back from the bathroom and knelt next to me on the bed and pulled the covers down. "Ready?" she asked; my answer was revealed when I slid my boxers down. She reached down and started to stroke me and to tease me with some of that same story that I guess she's turned on by. Hearing her tell me that it's too bad I'll just have to wait till Friday and how I'll just have to ‘waste it’ seemed to get me going good again but it was when she sat back on her knees and patted her pussy over her panties and said something like, "you can go back in here on Friday ... " and " ... tomorrow this is for Ray", oh man, did that get me going. Sure enough when she pulled the panties tighter and showed me her camel-toe and teased some more, that was it, I let my second load go.

I was beat after that and my cock had that dull ache to it after it's had too much use but sure enough, not even 30 minutes later she said something about, "it's getting late." Wanting to keep me happy (unprompted by me) she smiled up at me and said, "Enjoy this" and she leaned in and started to suck me and, oh my, what an intense blow-job it was. I had this ache but at the same time her velvety lips and mouth were getting me hard. She moaned that she wanted me to cum soon so we could go to sleep and I grunted something about almost being there. Whatever she did next was heavenly, something about how it felt with her sucking me and stroking my cock, damn, even an hour or so later I could still feel it throbbing. She leaned in and seemed to suck me deeper and let me fuck-her-mouth a little such that a moment later I grunted that I was about to cum.

She sucked me till I burst in her mouth with whatever little dribble there actually was it still felt like it was huge to me. I felt her run her finger up the underside of my cock and draw out the last little bit of cum. I was in la-la land when she slid up towards me and I immediately realized she wanted to snowball with me again. How could I resist or refuse? It felt so erotic to have our tongues dance together even if there was just a little dribble of very bitter tasting cum.


She did see Ray yesterday evening. Beforehand we had dinner with the kids after which she used the excuse of going to visit her *** but I knew she was really going over to Ray’s. It's been very stressful for her recently as the care options and decisions are falling on her and her siblings, so, I understand her ‘need’ to, as a guy might put it, to "go get fucked". I can see it in her face and how she acts that the release she gets from her once-a-week with Ray does wonders.


Suzanna and I are planning some time for ourselves and are tossing around a variety of places for us to go and get away from everything. Other than the furtive times when we have the house to ourselves and she's not dealing with ****** times, taking her away is when I'll get a chance to have her full sexuality directed towards me.

That’s not to say that it is such an erotic feeling to know she is so freely giving herself to another guy like she is. I can honestly say that for me knowing beneath her jeans and panties that her pussy has been pounded by Ray and left full of his cum, I can't really explain how both turned on as well as satisfied/content I feel about it. I'll see her walk down to the kitchen or the laundry room and even after having jerked off like a madman the night before, doesn't my cock get hard thinking about her swollen pussy lips slipping back and forth lubricated by his cum or seeing the wet-spot on her panties as she gets changed into her night-shirt. It's weird, but somehow, it turns me on incredibly to know she's well-fucked under there.

Tonight I’m on the edge of my seat as I'm writing this. Both kids are out till late and I have a bottle of wine and a light dinner waiting for when she gets home about 7pm. I can't wait to undress her and have her. I've said it before, it is almost like a first-date every time we are together after she's been with Ray. She's said she feels a different and very erotic type of arousal too so I know it’s not just me. There is even a sense of excitement like when I unclip her bra and I see and hold her breasts and know that Ray had free access to her just before me.

I am growing to be aroused more and more by our Wednesday routine. In many ways it really fulfils a lot of my desires knowing she knows that after I cum two or three times that I am definitely unable to ‘perform’ for at least 24 hours or maybe more. In my head, that she wants and encourages me to jerk-off on Wednesdays is in a way, similarly arousing to me in that in my head, twisted as it may be, her encouragement like that is her way of denying me, by ‘wanting’ me to be unable to perform while she is with Ray. In my head, it's much like the arousal I get in general from her denying me. I tell myself that she wants me to so that, when she wants sex the next night, that she'll go to Ray. It's a twist in my head but it turns me on so. Her feeding me my cum is like the frosting on a cupcake. I know it turns her on to see me do it, it always has.


I have thought and wondered what would/will happen when/if this ends with Ray as I'm sure it will. I'm sure he'll come to a point where he will want a closer relationship where he'll want a woman as a larger part of his life. Since Suzanna can't fill that role, my prediction is that sometime, maybe in another 6-8 months, that he will find someone else. I've shared that thought with Suzanna and she says that I'm right, that at times when he's said he wanted to see her more that she's felt he wants more of a permanent presence in his life. So far, as I've also shared, she doesn't feel that in return but I will say that is also why I am convinced that there's another long-weekend away in the future for them. I think that may be her way of keeping Ray's desires in check and in my head, maybe why she was so insistent on going with him to the wedding; that maybe she felt this kind of desire building in him. Just a guess....

I think Suzanna knows that I would join them at anytime for another 3-some. She seems to be very comfortable about that. If it feels the same for her as it does for me, that it is far more erotic now and so much less anxiety-filled. She also knows that I would rarely say no if she wanted to see him more and that's where I am also somewhat troubled and confused in a way. Yeah, I'd like to see her do it more but she's not comfortable in seeing Ray more so I’m reluctant to share it with her. Perhaps she knows it and the whole pantie/denial routine is a way to alleviate my desires for her.


Last night was exquisite pleasure for sure. She commented so many times last night how wet she still was from Ray and, damn, if I wasn't ready to burst the moment I entered her. As we were fucking she told me that Ray seemed to have cum a lot on Thursday and she asked me if I could feel it. I confirmed that she seemed both wetter and then when I spent some time licking her I told her that I could definitely still taste him in her. Hearing her share details like that really brought both of us intense pleasure and I swear I could feel her cum several times as we both edged closer and closer to the big explosion. I confessed to her that I loved staring down at my cock in her and thinking that Ray's is welcomed in there too!

As we were building up to our (hopefully) simultaneous climax she teased me again that, "Ray cums so much sometimes ..... I love feeling him in me afterwards". I knew she was close when I felt her pussy open up really deep and we got into this intense deep fuck that both of us wanted to go on forever. So awesome holding her and feeling our passions rise together but even better is feeling her cum herself just as I let loose, something about riding it out together hearing her moan with each last jet of cum I can let loose.

Afterwards we lay there talking for a while and again, she seemed to be without a care as my cum dribbled out of her afterwards. At one point she reached down and rubbed it into her pussy lips and teased her clit a little almost doing it absent-mindedly or sub-consciously. Incredibly awesome to see her seem so comfortable at that moment where not so long ago, she'd have clamped her legs shut and run off to the bathroom.

As we lay there, our conversation drifted to her teasing tonight and her talk of how much Ray seemed to cum a lot this week. I told her very plainly and openly that it turned me on that she liked him to cum in her. She giggled and said it made her feel sexy the next day when she could still feel his cum seeping out as she said, ".... making me feel slippery down there all day".

She asked something about me ‘really being okay with Ray’ and I told her that it was incredibly erotic to me that she so willingly shared herself with him and that it really turned me on to think about it, that he gets to fuck her and cum in her just like I do. She said it makes her feel sexy and young again which made me laugh and I said that, "it turned me on back then too; I just didn't know how to deal with it".

I think she was playing dumb when she said, “what do you mean?" but maybe she just wanted to hear it or hear the encouragement again. I told her that it had always turned me on that she'd let other guys fuck her and cum in her when we first got together....

I guess she forgets just how promiscuous she used to be as it was pretty much the norm back then, especially when compared to now. She said that being with Ray reminded her of how she felt back then and I joked that she was always wet back then too. I reminded her how she'd let me finger-fuck her at lunch and was surprised how she'd always seemed to be so wet. We laughed when I reminded her how shocked I was to discover it wasn’t just her but that a lot of the time it was cum from one guy or another.

Anyway, that was sort of where we left it last night but today the mood between us is really nice and sexy. She's been lying out around our pool in a sexy bathing suit and I've told her that she's making me horny again. At one point she pulled the bottom of her suit to one side and let me watch her finger herself before shooing me away. I'm going to make her tell me about the horny thoughts she's having while she's baking away in the sun.


We had a wild conversation last night when I asked her about her horny thoughts. We'd had a bit to drink and her tongue was quite free but when I asked her what she was thinking she said that tomorrow (today now) being Fathers Day had made her horny. In the conversation followed she said she'd thought back to when she'd gotten pregnant with our kids and how she liked thinking about it. It was one of those moments when we were lying in bed halfway into foreplay and I remembered how horny she was and how much she liked to fuck. She giggled and reminded me of how messy I used to leave her and I reminded her how it didn't take too long either time she got pregnant. That was when she replied, "good thing we waited for me to start sleeping around again". I told her that it gets me really horny to think about it and she mistook that comment (maybe along with where she was thinking) and said, "Yeah, any one of them could have gotten me pregnant back then" and then she rolled over towards me and said, "I didn't know then that turned you on!"

Thinking back (and I'm sure it was partly the alcohol talking and I still can’t believe how she just came out and said it) I started to reply and said, "well, that wasn't exactly what I was thinking" but, like I said, she was pretty buzzed and she rolled over towards me and grabbed my cock and giggled and said, "then why is this so hard?".

She pulled herself up onto one elbow and lay there next to me and hugged me towards her and it felt like a surreal moment. Like time had slowed to where I could hear each breath we took for that moment as she hugged me. Then she looked at me as she kissed me and said, "it's okay if it turns you on. I've thought about it too" and then she said so calmly, "sometimes it turns me on to think about Ray or Dan having done it".

Now she had one hand on my cock and I know it was responding even if I couldn't speak clearly and I just moaned and managed to croak out, "it is hot to think about". She giggled as she rolled back onto her pillow and switched hands on my cock. She lay back and looked at me and with her free hand made this motion over her stomach as if it was growing and said, "I like to think about it sometimes". I know she could feel how hard my cock was even if I was at a total loss for words. She rolled over towards me, kissed my cheek and the moment ended as she got up and said she was going to get washed up.

When she got back into bed I had come to my senses and asked her, "where did that come from?" She knew what I was referring to and she said, "I don't, know, I thought about Fathers Day and, well....” I hugged her and she reached down and felt that I was still hard and she giggled, "want to pretend you're doing it again to me?”

The next 35-40 minutes were filled with moans and sounds in our bedroom that we later hoped our ******** hadn't been witness to.

She got on her knees and asked me if I remembered fucking her in that position when we wanted to have our first kid. How could I forget?

We proceeded to go from one position to another including her riding up on top of me grinding herself into me. As we got closer to again hopefully cumming violently together she began to introduce the other guys’ names into her teasing. I can't remember all of her's or my comment until towards the end she said something that totally turned me on. She looked up at me and said that she had thought about it when she was away with Ray, that not having her rings on had let her fantasize that she was Ray’s and it was their wedding night and he was going to make her pregnant.

I told her I had the same thoughts (I didn't realize it as I said it though) and that I had wanted to make it good for her. Her response was something about letting herself feel that with him and that thought drove me crazy and put me/us on the final edge. Feeling her pull her legs back for me and thinking of her doing the same for him coupled with this new thought of her passion, well, that was it, despite having had an awesome fuck on Friday night last night was something magical. It seemed that as I plunged into her over and over she responded with more and more enthusiasm pushing herself upwards towards each thrust. But at the end, the feeling of being so deep in her and just cumming and cumming and at the same time, feeling her pussy spasming around my cock sharing the most intense moment together, it was just awesome.

Afterwards, she was a bit embarrassed and a bit reluctant to even talk about what she'd shared only that, "it was during our passion, I'm not ready to talk about it" and a moment later she said, "I shouldn't have mentioned it". I had to hug her tightly and tell her it was okay; I told her that I knew it was so much stuff combined together, Ray, her, me, being horny, fathers-day, her *** in the hospital, her need to let-loose, etc. She hugged me back and said, “You’re a good husband. “


Today and there's been no mention of any of this from last night. I'm sure the alcohol yesterday as well as the sun baking on her all afternoon probably had a lot to do with her fantasising about the pregnancy thing but what a turn-on to hear her talk about like she did.


She shared some info with me last night that unlocked the mystery of where this came from out of the blue.

Turns out that our neighbour, who is like Suzanna's best-friend, had shared that her ******** was pregnant. The ******** has been married for a few years now and Suzanna shared that their conversation involved ‘how long they've been trying for’. Apparently the idea of them ‘trying’ for a long time was the seed that started it (apologies for the pun!). That conversation plus some alcohol plus her baking in the sun must have gotten her thinking about this and, as she said, she just let the thoughts go.

I think she's still a bit embarrassed or reluctant to talk about it herself much less her mention my comments or arousal but I will say that what she did reveal is quite erotic. She has told me before that thinking about pregnancy was something that turned her on; the last time was many years ago when her sister was pregnant with their last child. She said that she was, at the time, turned on that her sister wanted to get pregnant again and was ‘trying’. So, I'm not sure if it's her knowing others around her are/were trying to get pregnant, or if it's a combination of that plus her putting herself in that position. She hasn't mentioned my admission of being aroused at what she's let herself think about this while she was away with Ray.

With it not being possible, I would open up with her that it's a powerful fantasy and that it could be fun to play around with but I think I am going to need to feel/hear that as part of whatever we're doing in order to bring it up. I'm not totally comfortable that she wants us to fantasize about it, I think it may sort of bother her in addition to being a turn-on for her.


This was a revelation! I had considered the possibility that the ‘Wedding’ carried more significance than a ‘get-a-way’ for Suzanna and Ray. Not that it was planned that way, and maybe it came to her after they settled into the hotel and got in the ‘spirit of the occasion, but, it certainly allowed the ‘fantasy’ to flourish where she could ‘get pregnant by Ray, on ‘their’ wedding night.’ She did say that it was a romantic time for them; living together, sleeping and showering together, just like they were Husband and Wife.

So, whether she thought of the possibility at the time of these occasions, or not, It now ‘turns her on’ for her to think that there was the chance, however slim, that when Ray had her ‘first,’ after taking out her protection; when Don had exclusive use of her for an entire week and when Peter was the first to have her without her diaphragm.


She’s confirmed that she knew the ‘risk of pregnancy’ at those occasions was indeed a ‘turn-on’ for me as well. Now it seems that, whether from Penthouse letters, [or] from my reactions, Suzanna now knows that she only needs to ‘roll-play’ the ‘pregnancy issue’ to put me in the role of the ultimate cuckold.

I'm not sure if this fantasy of hers was something that was at the forefront of her thoughts either at the wedding or at those other times. I know it seemed like a dramatic revealing of something but I don't want to say that it was something so remarkable or substantial. In how she's responded to it since, my thought is that she wasn't perhaps as aware of how it turned her on and that she's somewhat embarrassed to come to admit it.

I will say that I guess I need to accept that it is also something I've fantasized about and although I encouraged her to have those experiences I may have not recognized one of the parts of it as being a pregnancy risk. However, I think it's so hot to think of her lying out in the sun and know that she was having all of these horny thoughts!


We were back to panties this morning as I expected after the sexual-charged weekend we had. She clearly saw me smiling as she pranced around the bedroom in them.

I'm going to let her mention this if she wants to. After her hesitant response yesterday, I want her to come to terms with this new ‘revelation’ and see if she brings it up with me. If she does, I'll most definitely play along but I am still watchful that I don't project my own desires/fantasies onto her. I'll always be supportive of her but I want her to guide this sort of playing and if she wants I can be as open with it as I can be.


I'm actually surprised she doesn't give Ray more of what he's said he'd like, sloppy seconds. My interpretation of that is that she is aware of her own self-imposed boundaries and I'm thinking that even if she could, that she still wants to keep him at arm’s-length.

There's no reason or resistance from me if she'd want to see him sometime between Monday and Thursday. I'm even fine with her seeing him over the weekend as long as it doesn't interrupt our time together. I know if it's what she truly wanted, I'd give in and say yes.


I think I'd compare myself maybe to Pavlov's dog for as bedtime approached last night I found myself getting hornier and hornier at what I was expecting.

She remembered my comments from 12 years ago when her sister was pregnant. One time she'd caught me staring at her sister and she asked why and I told her that I was, "thinking about how she got that way". I remember because she punched me and called me a pervert! Later she admitted that hearing of her friend’s ******** being pregnant got her thinking ’like you do’ and she admitted that ‘thinking about them having sex’ got her excited when she was out baking in the sun.

Pregnant-sex doesn't really turn me on. What I had shared was that it turned me on to think about her sister (who's pretty cute) or whoever to be having sex and to know the guy had cum in her.

She started to tell me more about her first marriage. I told her that I was still turned on by the thoughts of her being with Ray at the wedding and I joked whether he had ‘carried her over the threshold’; she said no. That was an easy segue into asking about Tom her first husband, I told her that it turned me on to think of her in her wedding dress and him undressing her. She thought it'd bother me that she was in love with him at the time and all of that until she heard me say that. I didn't mention pregnancy as I knew she was faithfully on the pill since she was a teenager until we decided that we wanted to have our kids but I did tell her that it turned me on like some of the things she's done now. At one point I told her that I could picture how she must have looked that night from some of the pics I have of her taken by one of her earliest boyfriends in college. She looked sooo young I had to ask at first if she was old-enough!

She shared that Tom did not have a big cock and that she hadn't realized how much that mattered until after her divorce and she slept with some more well endowed guys which including me. She did say that Tom used to cum a lot but then she also said that they didn't have sex all that often and then said, wistfully, how strange that seemed as if their relationship was never on a good foundation to start with.

I know she has a lot of fantasies that remain just that, things we moaned about during foreplay after reading Penthouse Letters or whatever, which I know turn her on but most likely that she will never act on. Things like being restrained against her will; a mild **** fantasy; anal sex (she admits to that one but says she'll only do it with a guy with a skinny cock like her college boyfriend). She’s hinted that she wouldn’t be adverse to a gang-bang moaning about how erotic it would be to have guy after guy but I know that this one's a non-starter (although you never know). The last one I can think of is almost a little creepy to recall but she shared once (and only once) that it turned her on to think about fucking her older brother. She told me long ago that one night she and her sister could hear her older brother masturbating in his bedroom. She was old enough to know what they were hearing and was turned on by it but her sister kept asking, "what's he doing?" At first I was a bit creeped out by this last one but then when I thought about I mused it could be okay if it happened in the right circumstances.

Anyway, a lot of this was fodder for her teasing me last night. Again, we followed the usual pattern now of lying on the bed watching some inane show on TV before she reaches into my boxers. She turned her head and looked at me and smiled as she felt that I was already hard.


When we got into bed she was wearing just a t-shirt and, yes, panties. However she sat and then lay down next to me her with her t-shirt hiked up and wearing a lacy pair of panties that I could almost see through. At one point she slid her hand under them and I watched her spread her legs so she could run her fingers through her pussy. She then pulled them out and sort of waved them under my nose and she said something like, "you'll just have to wait until after Ray has his turn". It was probably a moment later that she pulled down the blanket/sheet and she pulled my hand towards my cock and said, "You do it for a while" and she slid her hand back into her panties.

I didn't need her to give me more encouragement, I would have done it for her even if she had a winter coat on, but she seemed to be in a very sexy and even, dare I say, a horny mood. I lay there and slid my boxers off and my stiff cock sprung out; I loved her seeing how hard I was. There was just the light from the TV in the room and in the dim light I could see that she was staring at my hand.

I knew she wanted to me to jerk-off and watch me cum and I set about to oblige her. In a way it is almost as good as the sex we'll have on Friday night and last night, seeing her hand busy in her panties, it really turned me on to know how she was controlling me. We've long masturbated in front of each other but it just feels so different on Wednesdays knowing she wants me to do it instead of having sex with her.

She surely is paying attention to how I respond on Wednesdays which confirms my understanding of her being in control more and more. She again played up that it's, "too bad it's not going in me" and leaned in and kissed my neck and whispered in my ear, "It turns me on you licking it up". OMG, every time she does something like this it drives me crazy. She must have seen my hand speed up because she said sexily, "mmm, I guess it turns you on too!" and then she cooed, "Come on baby, let me see you cum".

I wanted that moment to last forever, to be on the edge of cumming. I looked down at her hand still busy in her panties and then she saw me looking and suddenly said, "Oh" and pulled her hand out and said, "I think I’ll wait till tomorrow". She looked at me and saw the frantic look on my face, knowing that I was so turned on by watching her fingering herself only to be disappointed when she suddenly stopped.

She giggled, "okay, you earned this" and with that she moved her hand back but this time she pulled the waistband away from her and let me peek into her panties! While it may seem insignificant, at that moment, the eroticism of the moment made it such an intense thing for her to do. She teased, "only for a second though" and she arched her hips back and I could just see her swollen pussy lips when she said, "sorry, you can have more after Ray does" and let them snap back towards her stomach. That did it, hearing her say that, I let out a groan and I could feel the first spurt land on my stomach up towards my chest. She moaned almost as if she'd cum herself as I strained over the next 4 or 5 thick spurts. A moment later, I collapsed back into the bed breathing heavily.

"Oooh, that is soooooo sexy watching you ... “ she started to say and then added "... knowing you are going to wait for me now". Hearing her say that just after I'd cum so hard, it seems weird but I felt a very pleasant feeling of contentment.

I knew what was coming next and I wasn't wrong. She rolled up onto one elbow and faced me. She ran one finger through the cum that streaked my stomach and chest and held it up to my mouth with just one drop at her fingertip. It was so erotic to suck her finger into my mouth at that moment. She squealed with delight but she didn't need to say anything else as I felt her gather up the rest of my cum and scoop it onto her fingers.

She smiled the whole time and said she enjoyed, "this part a lot". Afterwards as we lay there she whispered that she loved me and gave me a deep kiss, essentially a reverse-snowball!


It seems very natural now to share this every Wednesday night. After she'd helped me clean up she kissed me and then looked towards my cock and as if she was talking to it said, "oh, you're not too tired yet, are you?" and she gently picked it up off my stomach and gently kissed/sucked the tip for a second. I could already feel the second load beginning as she did so.

It seemed so calm as she pulled herself back up she simply pulled the sheet back over both of us again covering what little I could see of her pussy through the panties.

Somehow the TV wound up on an old movie from back in the 80's. It was good for a laugh for both of us. As we watched the show for maybe another 30-45 minutes I knew that I was getting more and more horny which is kind of different, on some nights it takes a good amount of coaxing for the 2nd and, if she wants it, definitely for the 3rd time. However, last night I was so horny and after waiting through a commercial I looked over at her and said something like, "do you want to watch me again?"

She had a huge smile on her face and simply said, "Yeah if you think you're ready already". She then looked down at my stiff cock and said something like, "my, you're horny tonight"....

I looked at her and said, “Your fault, you're driving me crazy lately" to which she giggled and said, "good".

I didn't need her to coax me into getting started this time, I pushed the covers down and started. I looked at her and saw her panties were again visible as she sat up ‘Indian style’. She saw me looking and teased me that, "you can't see or have my pussy during the week, you know that". A second later she added, "I like it that you have to wait until after I see Ray" and then she turned to me and looked me in the face and said, "I think you like it too; you like knowing I share this with Ray so much, don't you?" as she patted her pussy through her panties.

I kept on stroking, probably harder and faster as she spoke. She kept on talking and I could see her nipples were hard so I know she was turned on by it all too. She said stuff like, "I think it's good that you have to wait to have me ..... I should have done this long ago if I knew it's making you this horny" Every time she said something like that I could feel the pre-cum flowing and I knew she was watching me. Sometimes I think the unspoken communication at a time like this is a million times more revealing and intimate than anything spoken.

I knew it would take me a little longer than the first time and I guess my moaning and my grunts of agreement were enough for her to continue with her teasing. She started to tell me things she was thinking/remembering and the teasing went from short lines like "you look so hard and horny" to her starting to tell me about scenes, again picking on what she'd shared with me after the wedding. She told me how horny she was when they went back to the room, "I couldn't wait to get fucked". You cannot imagine how horny that made me, hearing her say she wanted to get fucked by Ray, so plainly, so explicitly. Then she told me how he'd made her wait while he ‘licked me all over’. I had visions in my mind of seeing Ray’s head bobbing between her legs and her gentle moaning next to me fit perfectly with the vision in my head. I knew I was close when she told me she'd ‘cum while he licked me’ and that it made her feel good that he ‘knew’ she'd cum. All I could think about was Ray tasting her sweetness as she orgasmed and that he'd felt her pussy clenching down on his tongue and fingers as she squealed away. It was when she told me that she really wanted him to cum in her that I knew I was just a moment from cumming myself.

She leaned over towards me and said, "I'm so horny right now...." and then she whispered " ... but I want to wait till tomorrow with Ray if that's okay with you". She said it in such a sexy voice that as I groaned out a ‘yes’ it was a second later I grunted and let my second load fly all over. Again she squealed and giggled and coaxed me saying, "come on, let me see it all". As I finally calmed down and the last drop dripped off my fingers she reached over and again played with my cum all over my chest and stomach. She said how sexy it was to watch me again but then she said something again to the effect of, "mmm, too bad all this isn't in me" and then she added, "sometimes I think you cum more like this than you do in me". Even though I'd just cum that last comment gave me one last contraction and another thick dribble of cum came out which brought out a deep moan from her followed by a giggle and her saying, "ooooh - that is just so erotic to watch you".

It is such an amazing feeling to be with her like this and to know she's doing this not just for herself but because she also knows it drive me crazy. She commented again saying, "wow, that's a lot for your second time" and then kissed me and said teasingly, "Aww, are you horny for me?” All I could do was grunt, "uh huh". Sshe leaned down and kissed me.

I knew well what she expected next and without her prodding me I licked my own fingers off. After a while she pulled my hand from my mouth and she licked between my fingers before going back to playing with the cum all over my abdomen. It had pooled in my navel and she giggled as she played with raising her hand and seeing the stringy thread she could create. I felt her finger then start to run all over my stomach and I looked down and she was spelling her name out in cum on my abdomen! She giggled and then started to collect it up on her fingers before bringing them to my mouth. Her giggles turned to moans as I sucked at her fingers.

I was quite beat by this point. I'd been really horny earlier but after this second time, it took a lot out of me. I told her that I wasn't sure I was up for a 3rd time and her reply was, "I'm not surprised, I haven't seen you cum that much in a while". Again she made a comment about me cumming more from jerking off than from fucking her which she said was, "good for me for a while" and then she lay down on her side, hugged and kissed me and once again said she loved me.

It's moments like that, sharing the moment, knowing what we just shared and knowing that it turned her on so, that I just felt incredibly close to her. It seemed we could say almost anything at that moment and it wouldn't matter. I felt her against my side, actually felt her t-shirt and panties rub against my side, and somehow feeling the clothes she was wearing against my bare skin was incredibly erotic. The knowledge that I'd just masturbated twice for her and shared it with her was really an incredibly arousing feeling for me.

I was dozing when about 30 minutes or so later Suzanna whispered in my ear, "do you want to go one more time?".

I reached down and felt my cock under the covers and honestly, I could tell that it just wasn't going to happen! I stroked it for a minute and then whispered back, "I don't think I have it in me".

She giggled and said, "No surprises there then!" She rolled over on top of me and gave me a passionate kiss before we both drifted off to sleep.


New book time.