Journal of a Journey - Book Twenty Five

Suzanna came home from the gyno doc with the news that she had to take out the IUD. Something about some irregular appearance this and irritated that. She can have it put back in when things calm down, if she wants. The doc also said that between her not having periods any more for the past few months plus whatever the hormones are that are associated, basically, she can no longer get pregnant and ‘welcome to menopause’.

So, she's essentially been prescribed to use an anti-inflammatory like Naproxen sodium and to basically ‘give it a rest’. I joked that I told her she was going to wear something out but the doc actually said it's most likely normal if she's into menopause.

So Suzanna stayed home and sulked while I went over to Ray’s and helped him move some furniture around to make room for a new futon kind of couch for his 2nd bedroom. I didn't say anything but I suspected that it won't be long before he and Suzanna christen it.

We didn't talk directly about Suzanna or the wedding or anything. I mean when I showed up alone and told him what had happened at the doc's earlier he was all concerned and I joked with him just as I had with Suzanna that ‘both of us are going to wear her out!’. He laughed when I made light of it and that seemed to relax the mood significantly.

We didn't talk much about Suzanna or any of that, instead it was more of an afternoon of 2 guys hanging out. When we were done we watched a bit of one of the Bourne movies on his big-screen while we had a few beers.

It wasn’t long before I started feeling sorry for leaving Suzanna alone when she was feeling down so I went home, took her out to dinner and then shared a bottle of wine afterwards at home.


Well, I did it. It went a bit differently than I'd expected but ended in a good place. Some parts of the past couple of hours are clearer than others.

We got into bed about 10pm and I kind of rolled over to her and lay by her side and we kissed a bit.

I'm sure it was just me being hyper-sensitive but I swear it seemed like she wanted to say something to me. I finally said, "listen there's something I wanted to tell you".

She sat up onto her elbows and she looked incredible, her nipples were stiff under her night-shirt and they looked awesome.

I asked her if she remembered about 3 years ago and what was going on back then. She kinda shrugged and said, "yeah, I remember".

I could tell she was being non-committal and wanted me to say what I was going to say. So, I cleared my throat and reminded her that it was 3 years ago when she first got the IUD in the first place. She smiled, nodded yes and said, "uh huh ....” I think she would have said something more had I not continued.

No matter how many times I had this memory in my head, when it came to it, I drew a blank on all the different ways I'd thought of how to say it. At the moment, all I could remember was like individual words so instead I took a big breath and said, "Do you remember what happened afterwards or, rather, what didn't happen?"

She smiled and though neither of us had said a word it seemed so much had been said. I couldn’t look her in the face and I tilted my head away from hers and quietly said, "it turned me on a lot, you know, that Peter tried it out first ....".

I looked back a moment later and was relieved to see she was still smiling. She said quietly back to me, "are you suggesting what I think you are?” Her tone of voice and how she said it told me she knew exactly what I was suggesting.

Still looking at her I said, "It’s up to you but it would turn me on if you wanted to be with Ray before me". It was one of those moments that again confirms my love of being a cuckold. Still looking at me she giggled and said something quietly almost as if she was talking it to herself.

I asked, "What?"

With that she seemed to relax and said, "I did remember and I wondered if you did; then I wondered if you would say it to me again?” She paused for a moment and then reached over and felt that my cock was hard, not totally stiff but definitely turned on and engorged. She gave me a squeeze and said, "This really does turn you on?" A second later, as if she had given it a second thought, she said "okay, if that's what you want.”

I corrected her and said, “only if it's what you want".

She smiled and giving my cock a firmer grip and a little stroke said, "Okay, I think it'd be pretty hot too" and then she pulled away from me a little and said, "You’ll just have to wait now, won't you?" I was still up on one side as she looked up at me and asked, "do you want to be there this time?”

I didn't know what to say so I just said, "if you want me there, if you don't, I'll understand."

I did it; I wanted her to make the decision.

She looked up at me and said, "well..." I immediately knew the answer and I tried so hard to not let it show that I was hoping for what she'd say next, "... if you really don't mind, it might be nice to share it with just Ray ..." and a second later, "... and of course, when I get home.....".

I swear if she'd reached down and stroked me I'd have cum in her hand.

I thought we were done but a moment later she pulled up again on her elbows, got close and kissed me and said, "thank you, I love you". I pulled her close and hugged her and she whispered in my ear something like, "it's okay that it turns you on ..." and as she pulled back she said, "... I'm starting to understand a bit more".

She said a few more things but they were more vague. I asked her what she meant and she smiled and said that she was beginning to understand what turned me on, what sorts of things. I was curious but at that moment I was also hesitant to push,. She looked at me again and said again, "it's okay that this stuff turns you on."

I finally answered her and came out and confessed it, I said, "it's you being turned on by it that does it for me".

She smiled and this time she put her finger on my chin and turned me towards her just said quietly, "I know".

That was the last we spoke of it. It was done and it was a very odd almost eerie feeling lying there in bed next to her. About 11:15 we turned off the light and she looked at me and said, "go have some fun in your den and come back to bed later, you'll sleep better".

Thing was, as I rolled out of bed she said, "after all I'm not seeing Ray till Saturday".


Wow, did we ever talk up a storm last night? With us already having sort of agreed to wait till Saturday, Suzanna became quite chatty last night and, after a while, the conversation became much more open and uninhibited.

She now very much understands the type of thing that turns me on. She all but came out and said that, "it turns you on to have me do things first with someone else and to then share that experience with you". In a way it was like a revelation for her in that she thinks it now explains so much of what I've seemed to want her to do.

I didn't necessarily admit that I wanted her to do everything first with Ray or whoever, but I did come out and say that the idea of him having her first without her IUD is almost as exciting as it was for me when it was Peter who got to have her first with the IUD. I told her that the idea of Ray having her truly bare first was an incredible turn-on to me.

She said she doesn't necessarily understand why it turns me on but that she does accept that it does. She also said she thinks she understands how her panty-denial, or as she calls it her ‘panty thing’, turns me on in the same way that Ray (or whoever) will be the first to undress her.

I asked her how she felt about all of this. She admitted at first that it seemed really strange to her that I would want her to experience this sort of stuff with other guys but over time she's now come to understand that this is only part of it for me and that it is only completed for me when she comes home and shares her excitement with me.

I told her that when she comes back to me and tells me about what they did and how good it was and, at the same time her letting me feel her body knowing the pleasure she's had, that seemed to make things more clear to her. It's giving her other ideas and she now more fully understands the importance I place on our time together after she comes back to me.

I asked her if she felt any arousal herself at any of this, denying me or, as I put it, preferring Ray over me.

She says that it does turn her on in the sense that she knows I want her to feel this passion with Ray. I told her that hearing her say that was very satisfying to me in many ways and I told her again that I loved seeing her unbridled sexuality come out; my knowing she's doing what she's doing because she wants to and because she's enjoying it is a real turn-on to me. I emphasized the part where I said that it’s because 'she wants' it that it's a turn-on to me.

She giggled a lot during our conversation; it's one of her ways of making something awkward a bit easier. She openly asked me about how I felt about stuff she's done with Ray like seeing him so many times that one week.

I told her that it turned me on a lot like it did when she'd done it with Dan but then I added again that I thought it was much more arousing when it was her wanting to do it rather than her simply ‘obeying’ Dan.

She corrected me and said she never felt she had to obey Dan but clarified it and said that she felt she was easily coaxed by him into doing what he wanted even if she had misgivings about it. I was about to contrast that to Ray when she added herself that, "with Ray, it's definitely me that wants it and I’m the one doing the coaxing. Which,” she added, “is why Ray sometimes feels confused and feels he has to always make sure things are okay with you.”

We talked a lot about Ray. She told me that she is most definitely not in love with him (but then quickly added that she does tell it to him in the height of their passion) but that she genuinely likes him and that, she hesitated a moment before saying, she wants to be able to give herself completely to him at times and added that she is turned on herself by what may happen at the wedding.

I know she was waiting for my reaction when she added that when the three of us have been together, that she feels she holds herself back a bit. She didn't so much tell me how she holds back but did give me an example and said that she would normally, when I'm not there, that she'd be naked almost the entire time with him. I told her that she needn't feel inhibited from that because I'm there but she said that she just doesn't feel the same doing that when I'm with them.

I asked if she wanted me to be there later tonight and she smiled at me and said, "you know I would always want you to be there if you wanted ..." but then added, "... but if you wouldn't mind..."

In the next few moments she explained how she too is turned on by what they're going to do together and that she'd like to be sure she feels as free as she can be. I asked if she was going to tell him that it will be the first time since we had our kids that she'll be truly bare without any birth-control. She giggled and said that in her email to him earlier yesterday that she'd suggested that he just might be first. As of late last night he hadn't replied. I asked her if she was going to tell him at all that I'd suggested it and she said she wasn't sure and that it would depend on their evening together.

I'd never mentioned anything about pregnancy but at one point she did come close to asking me if it turned me on that he could possibly ‘knock me up’, - I answered by saying, "but your doc said it was impossible" and she said, "yeah, that's true".

I wasn't sure what to say at that moment so I said, "that's a good thing". We didn't really talk more about it.

I’m getting the feeling we're sort of on the cusp of a change in things between us. The openness that she shows when we were talking about all of this just conveys to me that she is certainly more confident about her sexuality and coming to terms and accepting it.

Our tentative plan for later is that we're both going over Ray’s after dinner tonight and that after a few drinks or so that I'm going to make an excuse to go over to Home Depot or something like that for a while.


We had some time alone that afternoon to talk before going over to Ray’s. She asked if I was okay with what was going to happen later and that she wanted to be sure I still wanted it all to happen as I'd asked for.

I was a bit hesitant to say yes knowing that it could possibly be the last time for me to back out. Before I answered her she moved close to me and reached out and felt my cock through my pants. I knew that when she felt how hard I was that she'd have her answer. In a way I liked that, it made it clear to her without my actually having to come out and say it. She felt the lump and smiled at me and said, "it's okay. I told you, I think I know what you like" and then after a moment she said, "this will be fun".

She kissed me and said that she'd been thinking a lot about all the stuff that's happened and what I've told her. She confessed that since I told her of my desires, she'd been increasingly horny and that she was also now quite turned on about it herself. Once again she asked if I was okay with it and I groaned out a ‘yes’. She smiled and then told me some of what she was going to be thinking. It seems that 3 years ago she'd not really recognized the significance of what was happening when she was with Peter and that, now, since my telling her again of my desire that she's been thinking a lot more about it.

I wasn't sure what was happening but it was turning me on to hear her talk like this. She looked at me and, in this incredibly sexy low voice, she said, "the last time I had sex without any birth control was with you just over 16 years ago when we made our ******** ...”

I think she could see the arousal in my eyes as she paused for a moment "... and you've been the only one in over 25 years to be with me without birth-control". She kissed me and said, "You have me very turned on that Ray is going to be next ..." and she smiled and looked at me and said "... before you do". With that she reached down and held my cock again and in a teasing voice she said, "You’ll just have to wait your turn now".

I swear, I don't know how I didn't cum right in her hand just then; I was speechless, it happened so fast, she said it and she meant it and now all I could do was hear it over and over in my head. It took her kissing me again before the room stopped spinning and I could focus on her again. As she broke the kiss with me I said something that I truly meant, I just said to her, "I want you to enjoy every moment of it .... and then I want you to tell me all about it". I don't know how I said it without cumming but I also know that I wanted to wait, to wait my turn.

She looked at me and said, "You’re very quiet". I know the look on my face told her what she wanted to know but I managed to say something like, "it's okay; it's really okay".

She continued saying that while she liked me being with her and it being the ‘three of us’ having fun, she looked at me and said again, very pointedly, how ‘this time’ she'd like to be alone with Ray.

I swear my cock was throbbing this whole time and we still had another hour or so to go before we went over to Ray’s. I asked her again what Ray thought was going on and she just said, "he thinks we're having some fun with all of this". I wasn't sure what that meant but at that point I was no longer thinking clearly about anything!

To say I was on pins and needles afterwards is an understatement. Looking back now, it seemed everything happened so fast and her openness about it all, well, it was just amazing. My mind went blank and I have no recollection until we were in the car heading over to Ray’s and all I could think to say was, "you look great".

As we pulled into Ray’s condo complex Suzanna looked at me and said, "so, how about you come in and the three of us have a drink or something but in a little while, you'll be okay when I suggest you run some errands?”

All I could really do was nod and smile. She giggled back at me and said, "This is going to be fun".


We pulled into Ray’s about 5:00pm and of all the times we've now gone over his place I had never been more nervous. He answered the door, welcomed us both in and although I know it wasn’t the intention I felt like I was dropping my ******** off at her boyfriend’s house. We went through to the den and sat down and he brought out some drinks, beers for him and me and a big glass of wine for Suzanna.

For as comfortable as I am with Ray including him fucking Sue, at that moment, I felt extremely awkward and very much like a 3rd-wheel. Still, the conversation was easy and Ray seemed to never be without a witty story to share. An inane show was on TV which kept a bit of our attention which prompted us to talk about a whole bunch of equally inconsequential stuff until Suzanna went off to the bathroom.

Ray took the moment to say to me, "you okay with all this buddy?"

I looked back at him and said, "Yeah, we've been talking and this is one of the things we wanted to do ..." I paused for a moment and then said, "... she enjoys being with you .... I'm cool with that".

He looked at me, "you're a heck of a guy to do all this stuff".

I smiled back and said, "It’s a lot of fun ..." and then added, "... treat her right, okay?" to which he said, "No worries there". At that moment Suzanna came back and said, "no worries about what?”

Thing is when she came back, she sat on the arm of the couch next to Ray instead of sitting on the other end where I was seated. I still wasn't sure of what she was thinking but when she ran her hand up his shoulder and caressed the back of his neck a little I started to get the idea that maybe I should get going soon.

Suzanna finished her glass of wine and then said to me, "Don't you need to run over to Home Depot or something?" I knew that was my cue.

She turned to Ray and said something like, "why don't we head back to your bedroom?”

Ray seemed surprised by her openness and was about to say something when I said, "it’s okay, I told you, this is something she wants;. It’s cool."

He was all tongue tied at first at what was happening but I think when I was as calm and relaxed as I tried to be, that he simply accepted it. I said something like, "I’m going to watch the end of the show and then I’ll hit the head before I leave."

Ray found his tongue, "okay, you can let yourself out" and before I knew it they were both gone down the hallway to his bedroom.

I don't know how long I stood there staring at the TV but I managed to get myself together and made it to the bathroom. My cock was so stiff it was hard to piss. When I came out I found myself again glued to this stupid TV show. I could hear muffled sounds down the hallway towards Ray’s bedroom and I fought off the urge to jerk-off listening to them. Still knowing what was happening maybe 20-30 feet away was incredible. I wanted so much to spy on them somehow but the door was closed. I stayed maybe 5 or 10 more minutes until the TV show was over.

I was getting my coat and keys together when I heard a noise from down the hall and before I could turn around I heard Suzanna say, "I'll bring us back some drinks" and with that she walked into the kitchen.

I surprised her by still being there and she took my breath away when I saw she was naked and that her pussy was red, swollen and looked like Ray had been eating it! At first she seemed like she was going to be pissed off at me but then she smiled and sauntered over to me and rubbed up against me, "He's been licking me, getting me ready!". I was speechless.

She opened the refrigerator and bent at the waist to get Ray a beer. From behind her I could see just how ready she was for him. I hemmed and hawed at something to say but she knew she had me speechless. She came up to me on her way back to his room and rubbed her body against mine and she whispered, "do you want me to leave the door open a crack in case you stay? It’ll be okay if you're quiet".

I guess I smiled because she smiled back at me and said, "Okay?". She kissed me one more time and then said quietly to me as she turned, "I have to go, he's waiting". It was maybe one of the most intense moments of my life seeing her walking naked towards his room". I was frozen in place until I remembered, and saw, that she didn't close the bedroom door all the way.

Hearing their giggling and other sounds resuming, I slowly walked down the darkened hallway until I could see in to the foot of his bed. I nearly came in my pants at seeing Suzanna kneeling at the edge of the bed and Ray on his knees on the floor behind her with, it seemed, his whole face buried in her pussy!

She must have known I was looking in because every now and then she'd look towards the cracked doorway and would smile. I don't think Ray knew I was still there, at least not from what he was saying to Suzanna as he stood up behind her. He slapped her butt and told her he was going to ‘fuck the hell out of her’ and with that he started to rub his cock up and down her spread open pussy. His back was almost to me and when he moved around I could see just how open, almost gaping her pussy was!

In the past this scene would have made me feel ill but now that I've gotten over that I quietly moved a little closer to the doorway and stood there staring!. I wanted, no, needed to see it this time.

I saw her body shake and heard her moan as he rubbed the head of his cock against her clit and it made me want to moan out loud myself. I could hear her talking more clearly now and, damn, from what I heard, I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself standing there. As clear as anything she said, "You know you're only like the 3rd guy to ever have sex with me without any birth-control". The way she wiggled her ass at him as she spoke, oh god, it was so intense to watch.

He asked her, "is it okay?" She just replied with a groan and pushed her butt back towards him almost pushing him into her. A moment later she groaned out, "Fuck me."

His response was, "with pleasure".

I stood no more than 10 feet away from them as he pushed forward and I watched him push into her. He put his hands on her ass and kept her from pushing back and taking more of him. She must have shared that is how I like to fuck her. He'd put an inch or two into her and then pull out of her. I did wonder if he knew I was there watching as he pulled out of her and would then rub his cock all over her and then would push back into her again the same inch or two.

This seemed to go on forever. Suzanna was growing more and more frantic with her desire including her moaning louder and louder for him to, "fuck me already". Ray seemed to be very in-tune with her and played along. When she was frantic enough, including burying her face in his bed and pushing her pussy up at him, he leaned over and picked up the bottle of lubricant and Suzanna let out this incredible moan as she recognized the sound of the lube being opened. I almost took my own cock out as Ray slicked his up but it was Suzanna that turned me on the most when I saw her hands reach up behind her to spread her pussy apart just before Ray pushed himself into her. I was amazed at how she looked just like a true slut holding herself open for him.

The next moment in reality took just seconds, but as I stood there it all seemed to be happening in slow-motion. Seeing her spreading herself open for him like that, hearing her moaning and saying whatever to egg him on, it was clear she'd now put me out of her mind. In that moment I knew what she'd meant by ‘giving herself completely’ to him. I don't think I was even breathing as he began to push himself into her. Not that either of them would have heard me over Suzanna's grunts and moans.

I know it was a moment that probably should have somehow had me upset, concerned or something like that but hearing Suzanna moaning,"fuck me" into the pillow as Ray pushed all the way into her was just so incredibly arousing that I had no ill feelings at all. I stood there as he pulled back and as his cock slid out totally Suzanna let out this incredibly sexy moan that left no doubt she wanted him back in her.

It all happened so quickly but even now the image of her presenting herself to him is still so clearly fixed in my mind and in that position, she was all Ray’s. A second later he pushed effortlessly back into her, put his hands on her hips and proceeded to fuck her in earnest.

To see that was a turn-on by itself but the response from Suzanna was really what turned me on even more. I guess she does feel a bit inhibited when I'm there with her because as Ray started to really get into fucking her she responded in kind, pushing herself back towards him with each of his thrusts apparently to get him in even deeper. Occasionally they'd be so physical that he'd pull clearly out of her and seeing her gaping pussy and hearing her moan at its emptiness was just incredible. Each time he'd pull back, I could see Suzanna's fingers frantically playing with her clit and rubbing Ray’s thick shaft as he pushed into her. It was like watching my own private porn movie.

I don't know how I held it together watching but it felt like I was in a trance. It was only her shrill cry out when Ray pushed his thumb up her ass that brought me back to reality and I watched eagerly as I knew she was cumming as he fucked her. Their pace matched each other and soon it was obvious that Ray was going to cum soon. I finally let the moment sink into my head, he was about to fill her pussy with his cum, and there was a chance, albeit incredibly remote, that he could actually get her pregnant. My mind raced at what I knew was about to happen, my Susie was about to get her first dose of cum in her unprotected pussy and all I could do was stand there and watch it happen.

She arched her back up towards him almost kneeling upright on the bed with him still buried in her. He reached around and held her breasts and squeezed at her hard nipples as she started to shake. She then fell forwards back onto the bed still keeping him deep in her and she moaned back, "cum in me ... cum in me....” That was all Ray needed, he grabbed at her hips and pulled her back and let out a grunt followed by several more in quick succession. He was buried so deeply in her, all I could see was him clenching his butt with the realization that each clench was accompanying a spurt of cum into her.

A moment later it was all over. As he calmed down he let go of her hips and I watched as she fell forward and his now soft cock slipped out of her. She lay there face down on the bed not moving, her legs still spread apart and with each deep breath she took I could see her pussy tremble. Ray fell against the bed with his knees holding him up and as I stood there watching both of them catch their breath, sure enough, a dribble of foamy white cum appeared in her open vagina and began to drip out slowly down her swollen pussy to her clit. At the same moment, Ray gave his cock one last stroke and dripped the last of his cum onto her butt as he wiped it against her.

I suddenly felt like I was an intruder but neither of them even looked at the doorway and so I stood there, frozen in place. Ray reached out and slapped at Sue's butt again and she giggled back at him and said, "did you enjoy that?" to which he replied, "do you need to ask?" I saw her push her hand down under her stomach to her pussy as she giggled, "No ... wow, you sure did!

A moment later she moved up to her elbows and rolled herself over spreading her legs around him as he still knelt against the bed. I don't know if she knew or remembered I was still there but she looked up at him and teased, "you would have been fun to make babies with!". She just lay there letting Ray, and me, see ALL of her and seeming totally comfortable and content.

I think I would have stood there all night if I could have but a moment later Ray pushed himself to his feet and I nearly ran out of there but he said he was going into his bathroom to get a washcloth. As he turned toward the bathroom Suzanna said she was going to get more to drink. A second later she opened the door and didn't seem surprised to see me there. She hadn't cleaned up or anything yet and came out into the hallway and said, "did you like watching?”

I told her not to touch me or I'd likely explode and then immediately said, "when is my turn?” She giggled and promised she'd call me to come back for her later but said, "Now is my time with Ray".

I walked with her into the kitchen where she got some more wine for herself. It seemed so natural for her to stand there talking to me naked as she was. As I told her how hot I was for her and how I needed her home later she giggled and I didn't realize at first but as she started to say to me, "okay, I promise you'll have me later" she, totally nonchalantly, reached over to the counter, pulled a tissue out of the box and as if it was no big deal, squatted down a tiny bit and blotted up the dribble of cum that had run down her thigh. She smiled at me, kissed me deeply, hugged me and then said, "You should go now, I know Ray wants more". Without another word she turned to walk back to his bedroom.

I felt like a zombie as I turned and made my way to the front door. I thought about going back down to his bedroom but saw that she'd shut the door all the way this time.

After the door was closed, I did stand there for a moment but when I heard muffled sounds again I figured I should probably just go and take a ride somewhere. As I sat in the car it really started to hit me. Had I made a mistake, had it gone too far? On the one hand, they've had sex lots of times already and I know that there isn't much they haven't shared but on the other hand, the last 15 minutes had been rather intense.

I know I probably shouldn't have still been there but later Suzanna told me she'd intentionally left the door open knowing I wouldn't be able to keep myself from spying on them. To be honest, at that moment, I questioned whether I still wanted to be a cuck for there was something about how she'd presented herself to Ray that gave me such an ill feeling.

As I sat there in the car I'll even admit that some thoughts almost brought tears to my eyes. I had to try to put it all in perspective. I should have realized and remembered that when she said she wanted to give herself fully to him what it would mean. I'd also forgotten that she almost revelled in being naked around Ray and hadn't recognized just then that she'd not been doing that when I was there or at least not the way she wanted it.

I don't know how long I sat there but eventually I did pull out and drove over to Home Depot for a while. Even if you don't need to buy anything, I can still wander the aisles. It was still only early evening and I had no idea how long it would be till she called me. A billion things ran through my mind but after a while walking around some of my angst started to fade. I reconciled in my mind that what I'd seen was nothing more than sex and really not much more than when I'd been with them in person. Seeing Suzanna orgasm under him wasn't what felt threatening to me, instead it was more her attitude towards me when she came out of the room and saw me there; the sort of coldness in her at that moment.

However, I had to admit to myself as the angst faded a bit that, damn, if the sights in my mind didn't make up with excitement. Seeing her like that was totally amazing; seeing her reach back and pull herself open for her lover, giving him all of herself like that and then seeing lay there afterwards revealing how he'd filled her unprotected pussy, that thought made me very happy as I pushed a cart around Home Depot in front of me!

I paid at the checkout for the batteries and other crap that had found their way into the cart. I was still a little numb and it was now after 7:30pm. Again I sat in the car as it began to get dark. For as upset and unsteady as I was, the fact that my cock was still stiff and throbbing at every thought of them brought back the sure knowledge that I was definitely a cuck. Who else would be willingly sitting in a Home Depot parking lot while their wife is fucking her lover?

I cruised around a while and then pulled into my local Gas station. I'd just put some gas in the car when the phone finally rang and it was Suzanna. Her first words to me were, "are you okay?" I caught my breath and said, "Yes, just a little shaken up". She asked me to come pick her up and told me that she loved me.

When I got there it seemed that Ray hadn't known I'd stayed around at all as he was acting fairly normal, well as normal as it can be right now as I know that we both still feel a bit awkward in this situation. I openly asked Suzanna if she'd enjoyed herself. Her reply was to roll her eyes back and said, "mmmm hmmmm, for sure ..." and then she added, "... but now, let’s get you home". She said she'd be ready in a few minutes and disappeared back towards his bedroom.

Again, it seemed Ray didn't know I'd stayed and his conversation seemed to be about everything and anything rather what had just happened. Only when Suzanna came back out putting her earrings back on did Ray say to me, "she's one heck of a lady .... I don't know how to say thanks enough". She giggled and said something in response that made Ray laugh too.

As the three of us stood there saying our goodbyes, Ray said that ‘we’ (him and I) should get together and go out and do something fun; something for ‘us guys’. I told him that it sounded great, maybe a hockey game or something (I don't even know what's in-season right now) and with that, in general, we left on good terms.

It was the car ride home where things got awkward in that Suzanna and I were almost totally silent for the first part of the ride. Finally she asked, "are you mad at me?”

I looked over to her and just said, "I could never be mad at you".

She snuggled up next to me and said, "okay, let’s get home and we can sort this all out".


Fortunately, our ******** was too engrossed in her TV shows to even notice or care that we'd come home. It was now after 8pm and neither of us had eaten dinner ye but we both knew that we needed to talk, and more.

Up in our bedroom Suzanna locked the door and asked me again if I was okay.

I told her that it appeared that she'd really gotten into the whole scene with Ray. She looked at me and asked why I was surprised. I was honest and I told her that I hadn't realized how reserved she was when it was the just the three of us compared to how she seemed to let-loose with Ray.

She blushed at that and said that what I'd seen wasn't all that unusual when she was alone with him. That brought a bit of an irate reply from me, pretty much asking, “Do you spread yourself like that for him every time?”

She admitted that was something that wasn't part of their normal repertoire but that she'd done it this time because she'd wanted to and it had turned her on incredibly to do that and to share that moment with Ray.

She asked me if it still turned me on that he'd cum in her before I did this time knowing how she was, unprotected. I took a deep breath and I told her yes. She smiled and said that in the same way that it turned me on, it is the same way it turned her on. She told me plainly that revealing herself to him, in that position and in that way, turned her on incredibly. That she wanted him to take her in that position was something she felt incredibly strongly about. I told her that I was surprised she hadn't wanted to be on top of him so that she could ‘make him cum’; she's long said this is what she likes to do.

It was this conversation that led me to understand about her submissiveness. I began to recognize that some of what Suzanna is searching for is not just for her to be in control but for her to be in control of her submissiveness and I shared that thought with her.

I don't know if she fully understood her desires about submissiveness before this point in our conversation but as we continued it all seemed to make more sense to both of us.

She explained that she wanted him to be the one in control. So much so that during their foreplay (that I'd missed) she'd told him that she could possibly be fertile and had encouraged him to think about that. I felt very nervous to be reminded of that.

As I mulled that thought over she went onto say that, after she'd closed the bedroom door and I'd left, they spooned together for a while with his cock in her and he'd asked if she ‘was really fertile’ and that it'd turned him on to know he was having her unprotected. He told her that he felt really honoured to only be the 2nd or 3rd guy (or so she says) to ever fuck her without any birth-control.

She said she told him that it was something she'd wanted to share with him as opposed to with me (she didn't tell him that it was my idea) and that the idea of it all got her very aroused too. He didn't ask how she got me to agree to it; I'm not even sure it came up other than him knowing in general that I like her having sex with him.

She said that they'd spooned up for a while and that their sexy conversation did get him aroused and hard again. She giggled telling me she could feel him getting harder in her as they spooned. Apparently they rolled over and with her lying face down he started fucking her from above/behind. She said she wriggled away and made it very clear that she wanted to turn over and face him as he had her for a second time.

I hadn't noticed really but there was something different about how she was telling me all of this. In the past she seemed to want reinforcement from me that I was okay with hearing it all but now, she seemed to want to tell me for her own enjoyment as if she was enjoying re-living it for herself as well as me.

She said that when she rolled over onto her back that she pulled her legs back for him. She painted for me a perfect of how she looked like and what the moment was like. She said she felt totally comfortable with him at that moment just as she does with me. She knew her pussy was gaping open at him and she said she stared at his cock knowing she wanted it back in her.

By this point I was getting frantic and, as if I wasn't turned on enough already, started to undress her. She continued telling me how she felt, of how she'd enjoyed everything like this before with him but this time, with the knowledge that I'd asked her to do it with him like this. She even managed to remind me that she had had some of this same feeling with Peter, that she felt an incredible desire for herself to cum again with him. I had her down to her jeans and panties now as she lay back on the bed and I frantically tried to pull them off her. Finally I had her naked again for me and while I pushed my own pants to the floor she continued talking.

It was how she said it that would lead to us talking about her submissiveness but at that moment, hearing her tell me that she wanted to cum from him, that she wanted ‘to cum on his cock’ was something that was incredible to hear from her; that she wanted it!

I told her so; I told her that hearing her say that was such a turn-on.

She lay beneath me again spreading her legs apart and although I knew she'd cleaned up before I'd picked her up, I swore I could see, smell and even feel his cum still in her. My fingers found her pussy swollen and wet enough inside so that I didn't need to put any lubricant on my cock. As I pushed into her finally I was able to let my own head get into the moment and all I could think of as I felt her slipperiness inside was that Ray had blasted into her twice. I ground myself against her and she groaned and told me how hard and big my cock felt in her. I pulled back and marvelling at how she felt; how wet she was and how the deeper I pushed into her, the wetter she seemed to be.

I knew I wouldn't last long but what surprised me was how responsive she was and that she was right there with me; as my passions rose so did hers. She started to tease me and tell me things that would spur me on (as if I needed anything more than what was in my head!). Between telling me how she'd cum under his fucking and then telling me how she felt feeling him cum in her knowing she was totally bare, that did it for me.

As she started to spasm again I plunged into her so deeply and as I felt her cunt squeeze me I came, unable to hold back as she teased me about his cum being in her. I fucked her through my orgasm and then on the last few strokes she shook too, reached up to pull me close as she shared her last orgasm of the evening with me.

I lay against her afterwards and she hugged me and held me close telling me over and over how much she loved me and thanking me for letting her let go like that. I felt the sloshy feeling in her pussy as my cock shrivelled and slipped out; that made us both laugh.

I have to say that as I pushed up onto my arms above her and then pulled away from her I felt truly proud seeing the evidence of the night’s passions. She was drenched, as was the bed under us, and coating her thighs and all between her butt-cheeks was the white sticky dribble of cum, a mixture of mine, Ray’s and her juices.

As I caught my breath my feelings of unease returned but Suzanna must have seen my expression for she looked up at me and said, "I don't love him, I only love you".

The smile on my face was the only answer I needed to give her and any doubts were pushed out by the feeling of closeness we had at that moment.


I now see and have sort of come to terms with that she wants to be submissive to him just as she had wanted to be for both Peter and Dan. If I’m honest I've never really thought about that part of it. Instead, I've been focused and very aroused by the many ways she's taken on the whole dominant role with me.

And it's not the thought of her being submissive that has always aroused me, even if Dan pushed the envelope at times, I think it's that I'm realizing that's what she wants for herself, to be the submissive.

I will also say that the friendship that has developed with Ray is also something that I wasn't necessarily expecting and that may be more it than the sort of surprise thought of her wanting to be submissive. I mean maybe this is the issue that he and I can't seem to figure out when we're together and feels like this icy wall between us. Thing is, it's a little more weird than I thought it'd be to have a friend who dominates my wife sexually at her wishes. Maybe we just need to get it out in the open.

I don't fear that I've lost her or her love. I suppose she could be lying to me but the closeness and good sex we've had since then really doesn't vie with that.

She did tell me that as she lay there with Ray fucking her that she did feel perhaps a bit more ******* and a bit more intensely aroused. It turned me on to hear her talking about it more openly now and I encouraged her by taking a big breath and coming out and asking her what she meant. Of course she blamed it on the wine but she said that the reality of what was about to happen was something that turned her on. Not so much the pregnancy chance (although she did say ‘unlike you’ to me!) but that she was truly giving Ray this first time with her and not me. She looked at me and told me that it turned her on thinking about it; she also said it turned her on to know that I was turned on too. In the position she was in, she said she could feel ‘every inch’ of him and that at the end she'd cum intensely just as he did. I knew that was part of what she'd wanted; to let herself go and share that moment with him.

I told her that I couldn't explain it but I was honest and told her that as I watched her, followed by when she came out of the room and talked to me for a moment, that it was one of the most intensely sexually arousing moments of my life.

She giggled and said that when she came out and saw me that her instinct was going to go back but then she remembered that her openness turned me on. I told her that seeing her at that moment was something I'd never forget and I thanked her even though it wasn't planned or anything. She giggled as she kissed me and said plainly, "you just like that I was all full of his cum and not yours".


I am coming to terms that Ray has now felt and sexually experienced Suzanna, maybe in a way that I never have or only rarely experienced. It's a little scary; I felt it when she was with Peter, again with Dan and now I feeling it with Ray. On the other hand, it is also incredibly arousing. I go back and forth in my head that mentally she's all his and is lost in pleasure with his cock buried in her and that he can feel her body, her pussy clenching on him, clearly telling him that she's cumming, maybe violently, from him. It's weird but I love knowing that Ray has had that moment with her many times; I love that Suzanna can open up and share that with him.

I have to add that it is the intensity of emotions I feel with her afterwards which is almost as arousing to me. Feeling her body next to mine after it's been used by Ray (or whoever) feeling her give herself to me, knowing she wants me to share it with her. Hearing her teasing me could be regarded as being cruel but so far that hasn’t been my interpretation. Instead, she seems to be using her teasing in the knowledge of what ‘scenes’ or moments she can describe to drive me crazy; cruel to be kind, maybe?

Maybe that's what it is for me, the knowledge that what she does with me to turn me more and more is that she does it to enhance my pleasure in the end. Hearing her tell me about how deep he was or how much he squirted in her, I know she's telling me so as to turn me on even more so that when I do cum, that it is as intensely satisfying for me as it possibly can be.


It seems that the last few weeks, this last week or so more than others, has given her a new understanding of how she would like to deal with me regarding Ray. She seems to be more dominant with me and this came across in her thoughts about the future.

She came out and said that she doesn't want sex with me during the week. This is something that was mixed into our conversations for the past 4 nights now. She said that her joke earlier about me being a ‘weekend hubby’ is not such a joke after all but something she wants and that she will see Ray during the week.

I asked her why and she said that she just likes not having to think about having sex with me through the week but that I can (and will) certainly have sex with her over the weekends.

She also confirmed that she is going to the wedding with Ray. She said that based on the way they are together now, that it is something she definitely wants to do. She joked that to go away with him is probably as much of a turn on for her as it was for me to ‘allow’ her have Ray first without having any protection.

At another point in time, she said she'd like to experience being away for a weekend like that and making arrangements ahead of time knowing what to expect.

I shared with her my concern that this could be getting to be a little too much and could have repercussions. She listened but was dismissive and said that as the time gets closer that we can talk about it.


I’m thinking that Suzanna’s “submissiveness” is more a statement of intent of ‘freedom to let go’ in her extramarital sexual activities. We are at the stage with Ray that she has trained him to ‘take her’ as completely as he wants. This is something he was never allowed to do with Joanne, even though he may have wanted to.

With Peter, she was just beginning down this road and was unsure of my willingness to let her go. Dan, on the other hand, became controlling and actually ended up by restricted the freedoms I gave her.

It seems that in an ‘uncommitted relationship’ women can loosen their inhibitions and act out their ‘naughty’ fantasies more easily than in a committed relationship, primarily Marriage. Perhaps she has gotten some of her ideas from some of the scenario’s I know that she has read in ‘Penthouse Letters’, that she knows that she has a loving husband to come back to after she has been with her lover. I should ask her confirmation on that; her answer would be interesting.

For sure, she is more likely to ‘let go’ of me when on vacation or at the nude beach, even at home when the children are gone. Now I see her, as she willingly says, “giving herself to Ray” as though I’m not even there.


She did see Ray this afternoon and she got home just before I did. She was open and honest with me about it and she knew it turned me on to hear about what they had done. After dinner her ‘excursion’ did serve as the basis for a bit of discussion which began when I asked her, "you're serious, not with me during the week?”

She turned to me and said,"No, but maybe not as much as we had been ... if that's okay with you?" I was about to say something when she said, "You can have me all weekend starting Friday if that makes you feel better ....". I was still silent but had a smile on my face when she added, "... but the rest of the time, I think my panty-thing keeps you horny, doesn't it?”

She knew exactly what she was doing with this line of conversation and she continued and said, “... and how it’s only Ray who gets to take them off me through the week ... just like he did earlier". My cock was like a steel rod, she knew such talk was going to drive me crazy for her! Crazy and horny.

I asked her for details about today with Ray. She said that it was nice after a long day at work and the cold rainy dreary weather to go and visit him and relax. I told her that wasn't what I wanted to hear, that I wanted more explicit details. She giggled and said, "I'll tell you tomorrow night ..." She then hugged me and told me to, "... go and use your imagination in the other room and when you’re done come back to bed".

I left her but I want to be really horny for her tomorrow so I'm suppressing the urge and am updating my journal instead.


I’m thinking that Suzanna has a lot more in store for me and Ray (maybe more Ray right now than me) but at least she has said that for the moment I am not just a weekend hubby. I’m thinking she may be found her own way right now and wants to see where it takes us. Maybe I'm wearing rose-colored glasses but this morning is the first time that she's ever expressed these desires for herself and I have to say, I am okay with her continuing to experience what she wants.

Sex last night, for me, left no doubt of the connection we have together. What's become clearer for me is that she feels freer to express her desires and more aptly, what she wants in terms of actions and experiences.

From her perspective and, admittedly, mine too, while we've had tons of crazy experiences, our sex life together has, in some ways, felt obligatory on both parts. She's been saying this to me for some time and it's taken me a while to understand it all.

The easiest way to explain it is to go back to when she was with Dan or Peter. We had a lot of sex together when she was seeing them a lot too. Granted we both wanted it that way but a lot of the time (for example, when Tuesday night would come around and knowing that she wanted to make me wait until after she had sex with one of them) that we felt obligated to have sex. It was almost always good but I do recognise that it sort of felt forced or planned.

My response was always that because she was ‘off limits’ at times it felt to both of us that we really needed our time together. She agreed, but now, with Ray not minding (or even actually enjoying) that she's not always squeaky clean like Dan and Peter had preferred, that we don't need to feel that same pressure.

When I asked her candidly about the reasons for the ‘weekend-hubby’ statements she giggled and said, "Well! It turns you on, right?" and she then added in a careful way, "... I just would like it to be more spontaneous and not so planned .... and when I'm tired, I don't want to feel so obligated.... but I didn't mean we'd never do it during the week".

I know should push this more and probe her psyche for what else this means but right now, I just don't think it's the right time to do so. I want to give it time to see what happens. I could have easily asked her, "why Ray during the week and not me..." - but I have to say that there is a definite eroticism of knowing she is fucking him and not me at times.

She has also, obviously, not kept up the whole panty-denial thing. I knew that this wouldn't and couldn't last. Perhaps that is the thing that I understand most without her having to say it, that when she does these things, the denial, the wearing panties all the time, the teasing me, etc. that she is doing it to turn me on and build me up in addition to herself. If the sex last night is any sign of the results of that build-up, then I'll take it and see where this goes.

Seeing her last weekend like that and now the week afterwards being okay and normal, it's taken a bit of the sting out of seeing it happen. At the time it was shocking and upsetting in a way but now it is an intense memory that I replay it in my head and it turns me on incredibly.

There is a marked closeness that seems to flourish after she's/we've had an experience like that and when I take her away and allow her to unleash herself with me away from our lives and cares, I know the passion underneath that comes out. Whether it comes out with me or with Ray, it’s okay, the results are a person that I love and who seems to have calmness around her that I and others can see.


I do have a bit of angst at the wedding plans. I know that it'll be 24-48 hours of what I saw last weekend. How can it not be? A romantic event, the two of them dressed to the 9's and dancing the evening away. I know what will follow afterwards and if (when) they stay overnight, I know that Ray will share all of her, sleeping together. I know Sue and they will be showering together and, yes, having lots of sex. I know it's asking a lot to just let happen but I would be lying if I said that it didn't excite me. My brain races at thinking of how I will be and how I'll feel while she's away. I have a lot of time yet, 6 more weeks, to get used to the idea.


I’m sensing that she isn't sure what she wants. That this freedom I've given her plus her seeming acceptance of her own desires, I don't know that she's sorted it out yet. One thing for sure, there is no shortness of talk, open talk, here now.

It's weird in a way, just a few years ago we were somewhat inhibited talking about sex to each other and during sex she used to be reluctant to be very explicit. Now she seems to have no such reservations.


I sent Ray an email earlier this evening. When I told Suzanna about it and she laughed that I'd sent him an email rather than call him on the phone. Not sure if it's all how other guys think but to me, it just felt weird to call him.

Anyway, he answered back and agreed we should talk and suggested after dinner tomorrow night. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to say to him other than simply saying that we need to figure out how to make this wedding thing less awkward and to understand it all.

I suspect that we may need to define some boundaries.


I do not know what Ray has or hasn't told his brother. I do know that Suzanna has repeatedly requested he not tell others. My quick thoughts are that if they play it cool at the wedding and the party, that others may be none the wiser of what may or may not be going on. Would that be plausible deniability for others?

What intrigues me is that the other stuff about keeping Ray in her control that is very interesting to think about. Whether she is doing it consciously or not, it's interesting to see. I will say that this aspect of it all is somewhat of a relief as it reinforces my thoughts that Suzanna is truly enjoying herself and her freedom which is such a turn on.

Suzanna does know that it turns me on to think of her going with Ray to the wedding. She teased me with those thoughts over the weekend and she definitely knows from my response what I am thinking. Between that and sharing more about her time with Ray, I don't think there's any doubt of her knowing what turns me on. I will admit that it is a little scary in a way that she knows this, but yet at the same time, it is incredible to have her use it to initiate this kind of excitement between us. I am still quite satisfied from our fun last night.


I'm not going to question the weekend-husband or panty thing as the logic behind it sounds fishy. My quick thought is that she's maybe trying different things and seeing how they feel to her now. Both of these are sort of extensions of stuff she's/we've done in the past, only then they were at the request of her lover. To that end, I also haven't fully asked her about what she wants out of ‘definitely’ going to the wedding. We've talked about it a little here and there, about the specifics, but there too, some of what she's shared seems to be similar to earlier times.

I honestly just had the thought that maybe what she's doing is looking to re-experience things only this time for it to be under her control and direction. I actually like that thought yet at the same time, would I ruin it if I were to ask her and make her see perhaps what she may be doing is being done without her realizing it? I have to say this is an interesting thought.

******

I'm a bit hesitant about seeing Ray tomorrow night. Perhaps some alcohol and other intoxicants will ease the conversation. I'd always thought I'd be having this conversation about ‘what are your intentions’ with my ********'s boyfriends, not my wife's! It’s crazy to think about; will I be able to figure out if it's Suzanna manipulating him into what's happening?

What a hot thought that is to end on before bed.


I did go see Ray on Tuesday as planned. I won't try to recap the entire conversation as I think that wouldn't work well as we were all over the place before we got down to the more important stuff.

I'm not sure where to start but will say that in the conversation I became very aware and reminded of things said and seen too, that Suzanna seems to be very much controlling Ray including getting him to see things differently.

During our conversation, Ray told me that at first he couldn't understand why I was okay with him having sex with Suzanna but he said that over the past few weeks Suzanna has actually explained to him about what goes on between her and I.

My immediate concern about what she may have told him was nothing to worry about as Suzanna did not tell him anything other than how turned on I am to her having sex with him. I can't recall exactly how it came up or what was said exactly (we'd had a few beers to get things going) but what he conveyed to me was that he understood that very much in the same way that he's turned on about her as I am. I'm not doing justice to how he said it, but basically he seemed to say that he understands that it turns me on to have her after she's had sex with him just as it turns him on to have sex with her after she's been with me!

That sort of eased our conversation a bit because as we talked, he seemed to understand more of what's going on. As I said, Suzanna had been ‘coaching’ him to not think it's so weird what's going on and to give him an idea of how it turned me on. I also saw from what he shared with me that Suzanna clearly hadn't told him of her panty-denial thing or anything beyond that. It was interesting because as he talked, I could hear him say this or that about Suzanna and it rang true to what we've all shared earlier about her controlling all of this.

He seemed a bit surprised and concerned when I told him that I didn't leave the last time I was there as he thought and that I'd stayed and spied on them a bit. That was where the conversation got a little awkward and Ray admitted to me that was also where he wasn't so sure of things. He seemed to struggle for how to explain things so I kind of took the lead and said that I knew that sometimes Suzanna really wanted him to fuck the hell out of her and I told him that I knew that last time was one of those times. He was quiet and then told me that he was surprised that I was okay with it all but then he also said that Suzanna had kind of gotten him a little more comfortable with it.

I gave him some of our history. I didn't come out and say that we've/she's done this before but instead I told him how we'd fantasized for a long time; loved Penthouse Letters; done role-playing stuff; had gone to bars where she'd get hit on and that I'd even encouraged her to have fun while she was on that business trip to Boston. I confessed and told him that I liked having a ‘naughty wife’ and that I felt comfortable with him as her partner.

I then asked him if there was anything I needed to worry about! Before he could answer me I told him that I was cool with them having sex and all that came with that. I told him I loved watching them having the type of sex I saw between them the last time which proved she wanted to give herself totally to him that time. Again I asked him if I had anything to worry about.

He responded by asking me, “Such as, what are you concerned about?

I just said to him, "that you'll get too carried away or begin to feel that you want more ..."and sensing the moment was right I also said to him, ".... like this wedding thing; am I going to regret it?”

I was surprised when he responded by saying he wasn't even sure if she was going to go with him; that he didn't think she and I had come to a decision. That was like the perfect segue for me to ask him what he was thinking and it let me ask what he'd shared with his friends and ****** about Suzanna in general.

I was very happy with what Ray said in response. He made it clear to me that he would never put Suzanna in any situation that would risk her reputation-wise and that he hasn't told anyone about her including his brother and friends. The only thing he'd shared with others is that he'd ‘gotten lucky’ a few times but that nothing was serious and he immediately added that if Suzanna did go to the wedding with him, that he'd do everything to simply say she's a friend of the ****** and nothing more.

That was when he looked at me and said that he didn't want anything, including the wedding, to be something that caused any problems and that if I/we were concerned, that she shouldn't go with him.

My response was pretty simple, that I wasn't worried about us (Suzanna and I) as much as him and what he was feeling now and then. I also indicated to him that I am aware (and comfortable) with knowing they'll be doing more than just dancing together.

He went quiet at that point for a minute and I have to say that I was worried when he started to speak. The first thing he said was that he liked Suzanna, liked her a lot. He hesitated as he searched for words but then continued by saying that he was also really conflicted, that he's torn between loving ‘the great sex’ they are having but how he feels like it's not matching up with him liking her but not loving her.

He went on to say that he feels like he's using her, and that he's told her the same, that it's nothing more than just sex in terms of emotions and such. He said several times that he's not looking for a relationship and in a totally serious voice he said he's surely not looking at one with Suzanna and he added that he hoped I knew and understood that.

We'd had a few beers and slowly, the conversation became easier. At one point I shared with him how it feels like a ‘first date’ every time she comes home. I told him how exciting it is to kiss her and not yet know what she'd done all night, only that she was incredibly sexy. I shared with him that as I would undress her, revealing her body and sexy undies that it turned me on not knowing what I'd find her wearing and what may be underneath. I think I put him at ease when I said something like, "you know how that feels".

We talked on and at one point Ray looked at me and said he was still uneasy when he thinks about me and then thinks about Suzanna. He said that the times when it had been the three of us that it had actually been easier for him. He even said that ‘seeing the look on my face’ made him feel okay; he also confessed that back-in-the-day that he'd had some 3-somes before (but I didn’t ask if that involved Joanne!) No, he said, it was the times he's been alone with Suzanna that have given him concerns when she’s been coaching him on trying to understand me/us. He now felt relieved to hear it from me that I wanted her to have the freedom to do what she wants and hearing me say that did make him feel a lot better.

I told him that the threesomes had been a lot of fun and that I liked sharing that with him but I added that I knew Suzanna really enjoyed sex with him and I repeatedly told him that it was okay with me as long as they weren't getting carried away emotionally. He assured me once again that they weren't going down that road; it was all about the sex. From what he was saying it was clear that he'd never thought or even fantasized about anything like this with Joanne or anyone else before and that this situation is all a bit strange for him.

I went for broke and I let him know that I liked the excitement that the openness of them being together gave me. I didn't want to say that I liked Suzanna denying me and that sort of stuff, so I kind of beat around the bush a bit and said that hearing her talk about having sex with him turned me on and that she'd tease me and turn me on during sex about stuff with him.

He said that she'd told him this stuff before but that hearing it from me did make him feel a bit more at ease. Then he sort of came out with more of his concerns. Basically he was, in some ways, concerned that I knew just how sexual she was with him. At one point he said, "it's like it's more than just fucking".

I told him I knew that and I spent a few minutes telling him how crazy she and I have gotten in the past when she's been able to feel like she can truly let go of the everyday. I told him of how she'd get at the nude beach and how horny she'd be afterwards; I told him of the times we checked out the swing-clubs; how intense she can be when I can get her away from home on vacation or just a night or weekend. I said to him, "so I know what's going to happen if she goes with you to the wedding".

He smiled and came out and said he'd never been with someone so openly sexual as Suzanna. He seemed to think he'd surprise me when he said, "like do you know she likes to be naked all the time when she's here?”

I told him I knew that, and that she'd told me so, which surprised him back. I added that I know how she is with him and more than just the nakedness that I know that, just like when she's been crazy with me, that she wants to have and do it all


I was over at Ray’s for a couple of hours and together with drinking several beers accounted for some of the directions the conversation went in. I can't say we were totally comfortable talking about everything, it's not like we talked about what sex positions were best or that it turned me on knowing he's given and felt her orgasm with him, but we talked around all of that and I think it made things better. In the end he said that he thought it was cool that I felt like I did and that he was lucky to be the guy Suzanna picked out.

I thought we were just about done when he asked me, "so, are you okay with her going to the wedding with me?”

I repeated what I'd said earlier that as long as he didn't think more of it than it was, just two friends (with-benefits) going to a wedding together and having some fun while they're there, that I was okay. He assured me that we were good and again, that he'd never want to do anything that would cause us any problems as he thought we were a great couple.

Before I left I told him that it might be good if the three of us got together before the wedding and talked it through again. He smiled and said that'd be a great idea. We made some idle talk about a lot of nothing as I finished the last beer then we shook hands. He said, "you're a great guy, Suzanna's lucky".

I told him back, "you're a good friend, we're just as lucky".

Suffice to say, I left him knowing we're good here. Unless Ray is the great actor or BS-ing me, he seems to be letting Suzanna guide him along and I think I hopefully eased some of the concerns he had.

I know that I left there feeling much better about everything.

Suzanna was all questions when I got home.


Heck, look at that, another book filled. Let’s pull out another.