Book 30

It’s now 5:25pm. She used the heat outside as an excuse with her ****** for why she's not trekking over to see her *** and now that school is out, neither of our kids are bothering to come home till much later.

I am quite sure that by now, she's probably wearing nothing or maybe one of Ray’s shirts and is enjoying his a/c among other things. This morning as she pulled up her panties under her towel and then took it off from her waist she told me that she really enjoyed what's become our new routine. She walked up to me and said that she's really able to relax and enjoy her time with Ray more now that she knows "this is taken care of for tonight" and she gently cupped my cock and balls through my boxers. She kissed me and said with the most sincere tone in her voice that "we're going to have a really nice time Friday night - you and me" and she then revealed that both of our kids won't be coming home tomorrow night - our son is going away with his girlfriend up to Boston to see friends of hers (they're taking the bus up from NYC - it's so inexpensive) and our ******** is staying at a girlfriends house. So, while I know she is out now having her fun - I also know that she is already planning a night for us tomorrow. Before she left for work this morning she suggested I get a bottle or two of champagne for tomorrow night!

Now it’s time for me to figure out some dinner for myself and knowing our kids won't be home and+ Suzanna's having dinner with Ray. I told her I can guess what'll be for dessert....

*******​

At the moment she’s out visiting her *** and with the kids getting older a benefit is they seem to always have something to do or some place to be so when she comes home we'll have the house to ourselves. 2 bottles of champagne in the fridge and all will be well!

There are times when I feel the need to know every detail of what they've done together; other times when just knowing she's had a good time is enough (well, there is always the details I add in my head). Last night she merely shared that she'd ‘enjoyed’ being with Ray and later on that, "we were both horny.....I guess it might be the heat". It's hard to describe the kind of arousal I feel at that moment knowing where she's been and what she's been doing but what turns me on even more is knowing her desire to wait till today to have sex with me. It works, tonight becomes the night for us to reunite.

I am absolutely turned on that at times she ‘prefers’ him or wants to deny me but I don't think it's because he's a better-lover. I don't find the arousal in that but rather in her desire to simply be with him instead of me, for whatever reason. At this point I don't think I have the fantasy desire for her to be with a ‘better lover’ (although I can't say that over time I might find this more desirable) but right now, it's accepting her desires and her actions that turns me on, not necessarily how Ray performs. But saying that, it does turn me on intensely to know she's had countless orgasms and shared those moments with him. Right now, I don't believe her expression of preference is based on Ray’s sexual performance but more of her own desires and, now, how it affects/works-for me. She's been clear that one of the reasons she so enjoys Ray is being in the environment where she can let go of everything else that's going on in her life.

She still insists she doesn't love him and that makes a difference, at least it does for me. I know she's felt more strongly about an earlier lover but even back then she insisted it was only me that she loved.

*******​

Sadly, Suzanna's *** has been returned to the hospital for more tests and there appears to be a lot more issues that are cropping up than earlier thought, some digestive problems causing him to be malnourished. She's out there with him and should be home for dinner sometime about 7pm. fortunately it's a lazy summer day.

*******​

Last night was perhaps better than I'd expected. I sometimes feel she lets so much out with Ray that she's perhaps not as eager or has anything left for me but not last night. Despite how physical they were on Thursday (from what she told me) by the time we were half-way through the 2nd bottle of champagne she was seemingly fully charge! I don't know how many times she came during foreplay but at one point she held my head against her pussy and begged me to ‘keep going’. I could still taste the remnants of Ray’s semen in her mixed with her own copious secretions and when I finally pulled myself up to fuck her she was gaping open and drenched but the moment she felt me fill her she locked her legs around me and ground herself to yet another orgasm. I held her legs back and went for it hoping that things would work (as they did) for a second time for me/us before bed. Sure enough the feeling of her opening up as I pushed her legs back coupled with her teasing me just at the right moment about Ray having left her ‘so wet and full’ that I blasted my first load into her. As I plunged into her with each squirt she followed a moment later with a shuddering orgasm as I held her close and tight.

We giggled at the mess that we left under her butt and she yelled about always, "making the mess on my side of the bed!” and, again, I was struck how amazing she is now after we've fucked. A few years ago where she'd slam her legs together and scurry off to the bathroom to wash up, now, she'll just lie there relaxed, legs spread, letting me see all of her including the mess between her legs!

As we lay there she rolled up on one elbow and in the same relaxed fashion asked me if I wanted to clean her up. She looked at me and said, "Its okay, I know you like it ..... I'd like you to if you want to".

I know some guys are all hesitant to go down on their women after they've cum; they lose the urge or whatever. Not me, all I need is the word of encouragement and it's my pleasure to do it and so I lay between her legs, pushed them apart and her sweet pussy was just waiting for me. A thick bead of cum was pooled at the bottom about to drip out and I used both hands to spread her open wider and I licked it out. When she felt my tongue probe into her she moaned and seemed to contract her muscles to push out another thick dribble of cum. With that I pushed into her and sucked. a moment later she giggled when I came up for air and saw that my nose was all wet from her and my cum but, again, she didn't flinch and seemed to not have a care in the world still just lying there with her legs spread. She said I was tickling her as I ran my tongue up and down her swollen pussy lips and I joked with her that she felt a little swollen from ‘all the activity down here’. She laughed and said, "... but that's what you've wanted, right?”

So, as we lay there and poured out the last glass of champagne she rolled over to me again onto her side and gently started to stroke my cock. I knew I'd be ready for a second round and it felt good to feel her stroking me getting me harder. She started to tease me a bit and as if she was talking to my cock she said, "are you ready to go back in me again?”

I was really getting into it when she interrupted my concentration and said, "There’s something I want to ask you". I didn't respond right away and she said, " ... there's something I want you to do". I stopped and rose up on my elbows, looked at her hesitantly, unsure what she was about to ask.

She said that she and Ray had turned on some porn the other night and they'd gotten into watching it and she said they tried some of the same positions they'd seen in the movie. So I thought she was about to ask that we might do something similar which seemed okay to me. Then she kissed me and said, "one of the guys in the movie turned me on a lot".

I played along with it and asked her, "what about him turned you on, was he really big?"

She giggled a ‘no’, hesitated and then said, "He was shaved and he looked sooo sexy".

I looked down at her and took a second and looked at her and said, "are you asking me if I'll shave my pubes?”

She put this angelic look on her face and said, "Would you, I asked Ray and he said he didn't think he'd be comfortable like that; would you do it for me?"

We've done this before; long before she went off with other guys, we'd done it together for the first time. She got some hair-removal lotion stuff and after she'd trimmed everything back on me using scissors smeared the stuff all over me and then I did the same on her. Fifteen minutes later we both got in the shower and it was done. It felt really erotic at first but then when it started to grow back in, wow, it started to itch and such.

It wasn't for a few more years, when we started going to the nude beach, that she would do it again but this time, kept up with it so it didn't grow back and itch. Me, I felt kind of weird (not at the beach) but at the time I was playing a lot of racquetball and let’s just say that I felt weird in the locker room.

That was at least 10-15 years ago and in the time since then she'd never mentioned it (I do a little man-scaping every now and then just to trim things back). It's been years since I've played racquetball so I couldn’t use that as an excuse not to do it so I reminded her that I have my annual physical in another week and that I'd be okay with doing it after then. She smiled and went down to suck my cock and with her hand she pushed all my pubes back and said, "you know, you'll look really hot all bare" and a second later she said "I'd forgotten how horny that made me".

So, it seems I have a one-up on Ray. I told Suzanna that after my physical that she can ‘do the honours’ to which she squealed and proceeded to suck my cock till it was near exploding and then she said, "my turn, and climbed up on top of me and slid my hard cock into her wet hole! As she slid down on me she said, "it'll be so erotic when we're both bare". I guess the thoughts must have gotten to her because she fucked herself into a frenzy before begging me to turn her over and finish her off. This time she held her own legs back and presented me with her waiting pussy. As she breathed deeply and showed me the glistening wetness inside it was all I needed to get me going.

I think I will always think of other guys fucking her as I do. It's just where my head goes; all the feelings, sounds, sensations, so intense. I did myself proud, my second load seemed huge; enough to make her squeal as she felt me cumming deep in her.

Afterwards we just lay there together before getting up to get cleaned up before getting into bed to sleep together naked. As we cuddled up it gave me a thrill to see her suddenly reach up, grab some tissues and then go down and blot up what was obviously dripping out of her.

******​

Friday night was awesome but come Saturday and the news about her *** it put most of her desires on ice for the time being as she said she just couldn't get into having sex either night. Last night she did apologize and just said that when she's all tied up emotionally with her ***, that it's difficult for her to let herself think about sex with me, it's like emotional overload or something for her. When she felt I was going to be okay with not having sex with her last night (I'd kind of hoped for more than just Friday night) we did lay back and talk for a while. She said if I was really horny that she'd undress if I wanted to look at her or something like that while I masturbated but that she wasn't up for sex. I told her that maybe later, before bed, that I might take her up on it.

So we lay there and I can tell when she'd rather talk than watch TV. Every few minutes or so she'd turn and talk either about her father, which got depressing after a bit, or about us and such. It's odd; she was ok talking about sex but not having sex !

Talk did turn to shaving and at one point I asked her, "What’s with Ray, did he just say ‘no' when you asked him?” She didn't seem indignant that I asked, she just replied, "he just said he'd feel weird at the gym or anywhere else". I joked, "Or would he feel self-conscious around another woman?".... and then I asked, " .... is he even interested in anyone else?".

She said that she's asked him about other women and apparently he's been honest with her and told her, right now, that she ‘fulfils all his needs’. I didn’t mention it but I know that he is still quite bitter about Joanne getting the house and such and it almost sounds crazy to say it but I guess Suzanna has given Ray what he needs. I guess if I came from that relationship, then having a weekly romp with a very willing partner would probably be what I'd want too.

Anyway, as I was thinking about that-she rolled over towards me, reached into my boxers and kinda tugged at my pubes and said, "But you don't mind, right?" I told her two weeks from tomorrow that she can ‘give me a haircut’ to which she giggled and said, "guess we'll need some more champagne that night!”

Come closer to bed-time after the kids have said good-night she cuddled up and said, "I would like to watch you if you wanted to". I wasn't sure she was really up for it so I said, "are you going to give me something to look at" (my way of saying she should strip and at least spread her legs for me or something). She giggled and took off her night-shirt and then said in this half-kidding/half-serious voice, "its Sunday so you can see me". With that she spread her legs and turned to let me see her sweet pussy. After so long I can sometimes figure out what she's thinking and as she ran her finger up and down her pussy and spread it open I realized that while she may not have been all that horny herself to have sex that she was horny enough to want to enjoy the moment with me.

As I started to masturbate she had turned so her head was down towards my waist and her spread legs were up towards my head. I turned my so I could see her fingers gently probing into her pussy and she asked me, "are you going to be okay waiting till later this week?” I asked her if she was going to see Ray on Thursday. She said, "if that's okay with you, then yes, I think".

She again apologized and said that she just didn't want to get all emotional with me and I calmed her down and said, "it's okay, I understand" and then, saying what she probably wanted to hear I just said, "it's okay" and I went for it, I told her, "it turns me on that you want it from him rather than me" or something like that. From what my head was thinking, I knew that my cock must have been huge in my hand and that she had to know it all turned me on. At that point she started to say things like, "it might be good for you to wait" and, "maybe I should make you wait". I know I grunted out what I thought were moans of arousal but I also know that she knew it was turning me on.

I was stroking away and she continued and said, "maybe you should just jerk-off this week, what do you think about that?”

There are still times when I wonder about myself and all of this whether it's really what I want or whether it's some fantasy on steroids that's out of control but at that moment the involuntary response from my hand and my cock surely confirm that I'm a cuckold.

A second after she said that she let out this moan and said, "oh my, I guess that turned you on!". I can only guess that my cock must have throbbed at that moment and I know I felt a dribble of pre-cum run down my fingers. With that she seemed to turn up the teasing, one became two and then three fingers in her pussy as she moaned that, "maybe this should just be for Ray this week?" and " ... you'll just have to take care of yourself instead". Oh my, I knew I was horny hoping to have been fucking last night but instead, hearing her tease me like that, it was perhaps even more intense. I felt her hand on my thigh and then slowly cradling my balls as I jerked off. "These feel so heavy ... " and then a moment later, " ... mmm, I'll bet you're going to cum a lot". And then she whispered, "too bad it won't be in here" and she made a fucking motion with her fingers in her pussy.

I was definitely moaning away by this point as she rolled up onto her elbow and then cooed at me, "this turns you on doesn't it ... that I don't want you to cum in me ..... come on, let me see". Just as I was about to cum she said in this really erotic voice, "you like thinking it'll only be Ray in me this week, don't you?" and then she wiggled her finger in her pussy and said, "just him in here...." That was it, whew, even she jumped back when I let out a grunt and a huge squirt of cum (huge for me for sure!) damn near hit me in the chin with the next few following close behind!

I lay back as I finished the last few strokes and Suzanna was all ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ and such. She surprised me by, instead of gathering up all of the cum with her fingers, that she leaned down and licked most of it off my stomach and then, which wasn't a surprise, she scooted up and kissed me and shared it with me. How erotic is that to share a snowball like that?! She cooed in my ear how sexy that was and how it got her wet to see me cum like that ‘so much!’ As she talked sexy to me she started to push my cum around into a big pool in my navel. As she did she said very casually, "I was only kidding you know" but looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I looked at her and said, "it's okay if you want to; it does make me horny to have to wait for you". To which she giggled, cooed and gave me a huge kiss and said, "we'll see. It might be me that wants YOU come the end of the week". With that she got up out of bed and walked to her dresser and then came around to my side of the bed and said, "say goodbye" and as I watched, she pulled a pair of panties up her legs. She leaned towards me and let me kiss the top of her pussy and then she jokingly said, "you pull them up". Despite having just cum like that, damn, if pulling her panties up didn't get my cock throbbing again!

This morning she was incredibly loving and saying ‘thank you’ so many times to me for leaving her be last night and just as she was about to pull her clothes on she came over and hugged me and said, "I love being with you".

I didn't really need to hear anything else. Watching her pull her dress-pants up over her panties gave me the most perverse pleasure!

******​

Sometimes it seems that we have the most communication when we're not actually going to have sex.

Last night continued in that path. She came to me last night after she'd come home from the hospital from her *** and said she wanted to talk so we went upstairs to the bedroom where she shared a lot of her concerns on her ***; how much longer he will last; how frail he seems. I comforted her as best as I could and that was when she looked up at me and said, "I hope you're okay about what we talked about last night". She held me tightly and said in a quiet voice, "I thought about it some more and if you're okay with it, I'd like to just take a break for a bit .... you know, having sex with you". I held her and just let her talk and said in a supportive way, "I guess, if you think that's what you need". She held me and said that she thought it'd be good for her mentally if she didn't have to focus what little emotional capacity she has on me for a bit. "I think you'll do okay with your right hand for a little while. It sure seemed like you enjoyed it last night" (meaning Sunday night). I could hear some wavering in her voice so I just said, "you let me know what feels right to you". She hugged me and said again that I was ‘the best’.

We both became pretty emotional at that moment. She looked at me and said, "are you going to be okay if I see Ray this week?” I gave her a reply of ‘uh huh’ to which she replied, "you know it's good for me to see him; he takes me away from all of this" and then she held my face and kissed me and said, "I love you so much and that's why I need to see him, because I don't love him, and I can just leave it all behind". I hugged her but didn't say anything until she sort of whispered, "besides, it turns you on, doesn't it?” I know she felt my cock stirring in my pants because she reached down and felt it and she said, "its okay, let’s try this just for a while, it'll be good for both of us". I managed to ask her ‘how long?’ She said, "how about we set a date for our own fireworks on July 4th? We're off from work; the kids will be gone the whole day". I nodded and said, "if that's what you want".

When we got into bed last night after saying goodnight she cuddled up to me and said, "I kind of like what we talked about earlier". I was quiet but moaned my agreement. She turned to me and kissed me and said that she wanted to ask me something. "It's been a long time since I've asked you to not have sex with me when you know I'll be with someone else" and then she hugged me and said, "I think the last time was when I was with Dan, wasn't it?" I told her that it felt that way when she went to the wedding too. She held me tightly and said, "but you said that turned you on too, right?” With that she reached into my boxers and held my hardening cock and said, "it's good to make 'him' wait a bit every now and then, don't you think?" which was followed by a little giggle. Then she then rolled up on one elbow and stroked my cock as she continued to talk.

I guess it's her version of a lie-detector test; the more she talked, the harder my cock got. "You enjoy thinking about the wedding still, don't you?" I moaned yes back to her. She said again how free she felt when she didn't have her rings with her and she said how it let her really let go with Ray. "Mmm, I can feel it turns you on to think about that". In a moment of passion I opened up and told her that thinking of her being ‘his’ for those 3 days always gets me horny. She said that she felt the same way. She leaned in close to me and said, "waking up in bed with him was really something for me to experience" and she went on to tell me how by the end of their time together that she'd felt so much more free and how the sex (with him and me) only seems to have gotten better. She hugged me and said, "I know you're horny ...” and then she giggled “... you're always horny!" and continued "but I think it'll be good to take a little break from sex with me" and then as if she'd had a revelation she said, "come to think of it, you used to wait two weeks and sometimes more for me in the past!" I moaned a reply as she now had me all hard and horny. She could obviously feel it from how she was stroking me now, very deep and passionately, she said, "I'll help you out if you want .... but maybe we should go back to that for a while". A second later she whispered in my ear, "I think it turns you on to think that you can't have me until next week knowing that its Ray’s till then".

She almost stopped stroking me (or slowed down) and said, "tell me what you're thinking? .... I need to know you're okay with this". I took a few seconds to reply and when she stopped stroking me totally and said, "well?” I looked at her and told her that it made me incredibly horny to think that she would be his and I said, "just like when you was seeing Dan". She cooed in my ear, "mmm - so you liked that; enough to want me to do it again?" to which I replied with an affirmative "uh huh". She moaned her appreciation for my honesty in my ear and then said, "maybe I should see Ray this weekend" and she seemed to enjoy the tease when she said, "after all, you won't be having me, right?”

So whether the whole emotion thing about her father is the truth, or whether it was merely her excuse to try this out, either way, she got me to agree to it. I asked her if she had already set this up with Ray for the weekend to which she giggled and unconvincingly shook her head and then she gently patted her pussy through her panties and said, "but I'm sure he'll be happy to have some of this" and as she did so she looked over at me and said, "this really turns you on doesn't it? .... I like that". We cuddled for a moment longer when she calmly said, "do you need to cum tonight?” I held her tightly back and said, "no, I'm okay".

This morning she shooed me out of the bathroom when I tried to open the door and got a glimpse of her naked in the mirror before she pushed the door shut. A second later she opened it and had wrapped a towel around her waist and just said, "no peeking" while she did the rest of her hair and make-up. As she sat at the edge of the bed and pulled her panties up under the towel she stood and turned to me and said, "are you okay with everything we talked about last night?” I asked her if she was okay seeing Ray more. She hesitated about that and replied, "every now and then it's good for him just like it's good for you!".

*******​

I realize I now feel comfortable with Suzanna taking more and more control, that I know in my heart that this is all because I/we want to explore it but more so that I trust and am willing to more and more give her the control and encouragement. Thing is, what I'm realizing is that I I'm ready to let myself feel more of this. Her referencing it as ‘Ray’s pussy’ is something that just gets to me and turns me on incredibly. I guess what I'm saying is that if Suzanna wants to, either on her own or with my encouragement, if she really wants to that I would like her to deny me more in this way. I am well aware she's using the excuse of her *** and the emotions she is obligated to feel when we have sex together as her reason for denying me.

Dare I say it that I wish Ray would be a bit more demanding of her more like Dan. I don't think I trusted her or myself or Dan back then but I have this sense of feeling good about it with Ray. I guess in a way, I did give her to him for the wedding-weekend and just thinking that way drives me crazy to now think about. So for whatever reason she's said it, that she wants me to wait to have sex with her, is incredibly intense and arousing. Even more so for me now that I'm letting myself think this way is wondering if she'll even let me see her pussy before next week. Oh man, that thought just gives me a wicked hard-on. It's crazy to think this way but how can I deny it if it's true and turns me on. It's why I've opened up to her more and let her know that I'm okay with it. This thought will drive me crazy with desire.

*******​

It certainly would turn me on to see them together but not being invited to participate but I am also thinking that not watching but ‘knowing’ what is going on is also very exciting.

It's actually made me think back to when we first started dating and I knew she was still fucking other guys. It has me wondering whether my arousal was that she's fucking the other guys, or that it's me knowing that it's not me. Dare I say it that it's more the mental knowledge than the physical aspect of knowing she doesn't want to have sex with me right now.

I'm trying to be more aware of any changes in what I see as her relationship with Ray. I also want to clarify something and I may need to do so with Suzanna too. As I've said all along, I don't want or envision this to be a permanent thing;that over time it becomes more and more rare/infrequent for us to have sex together. Not that I see that as a problem or issue, I think actually she'll be quite receptive and that she is still doing much of this because I do enjoy it so and that's where I say about watching what happens with Ray as well as being aware of how the sex is between us. Right now, if I'd say anything it's that Suzanna is aware that a little denial goes a long way in terms of intensity between us. Regarding her taking more control I will have to trust that she's learned we have the same boundary too in keeping things in balance. I think she enjoys the freedoms she feels and perhaps, once both our kids are out of the house, she'll go further but, until then, I think she's going to continue as she is, taking small steps and enjoying them along the way.

******​

It is 1am and I am totally wired and wide awake. I had thought there was a chance that she would possibly go for sex with me tonight but she instead said, "you said you would wait" and a second later, "to be honest, it's exciting to think about just being with Ray for a while .... you'll be okay I'm sure." Then she said it, "this is what you wanted, right; to know that this right here" (and she patted her pussy through her panties) "isn't for you right now?". She knew how turned on it made me to hear her say that and sure enough after lying there watching TV with her in a tight t-shirt and panties, when we went to bed I was still all horned up. She knew it and as she heard/felt me tossing and turning she moved towards me and said, "go over to the office and make yourself comfortable and then come back, okay?" So, here I am, looking at some porn, soon to jerk-off and relieve my tension and head back to bed.

I have to say that writing this has me wicked hard. I don't know why or fully understand it but hearing her say that she wanted to be just with Ray for now, to hear it come from her, wow!

I know it sounds out of the blue, but it's not entirely. Wednesday night followed our now usual pattern. I don't say that in a bad way at all as I actually quite look forward to having her coax me into pleasure time and time again. But we talked a bit more this past Wednesday and she asked me some questions that I answered honestly. She asked me again how I felt when I asked her to leave her rings home and again I told her that it turned me on that I felt like I was giving her to Ray for the weekend. I look back and I can see that she was quite skilful in coaxing me into talking as her hand felt heavenly on my cock.

She began to tease me a bit as she encouraged me to take over stroking. She started to tell me about how she felt at the wedding. I know she's said things before but now that she knew how it turned me on and again she didn’t hesitate to tell me more. As I started to get into stroking she told me how once she left our house and went to his that she felt like she had left everything behind and, " ... so I was his for 3 days"; it wasn't just what she said, it was how she said it. Over the next few minutes she told me how she was his girlfriend and how they shared a torrid weekend of sex. What made me cum the first time was when she said, "It reminded me of that ski weekend up in Maine when we were there for 3 days and it snowed so much that we could only ski one day and we fucked the rest of the time.” The thought of him having her like that made me blow my load all over my stomach and chest and made Suzanna squeal. I saw she was rubbing herself or rubbing her legs together and I think she came herself.

I wasn’t surprised when she reached over to get me started again. She started right in with teasing of ‘being Ray’s’ and whether that turned me on; I moaned that it did. She reassured me and said, "this can be fun, I didn't see it this way with Dan, I always thought I was hurting you". I moaned back to her that as long as she always came back to me, that I would enjoy it too. She rolled towards me and kissed me and said, "I wouldn't do it if you didn't enjoy it .... but as long as you do, then why shouldn't I?" A second later she added, "You were right".

I was puzzled at what she had said so I asked her. She looked at me and said, "you were right, I would enjoy all of this once I let myself" and she looked at me and said, "I understand" and then proceeded to stroke my cock telling me that she thinks she understands everything that's going on and what things turns me on. She looked at me and said that when she realized and accepted that something as simple as her wearing panties all the time would do to me and my arousal that it began to make sense. She held me for a moment and said she'd never hurt me and that knowing what I liked helped her understand what she would enjoy too.

In one sense it sounds as if we were having a really serious conversation but it wasn't, with the TV grabbing her attention at times it was more just the two of us talking, perhaps not even looking at each other at some points. It seems weird but it is easier to talk openly at times like that; that she can express herself like that is, I guess a big enough step, if she's not comfortable looking right at me, I think I can understand that.

She was stroking me at the start of this but by the end she was just staring at me doing all the work and that was when she started the teasing in more earnest. She told me how I'm just going to have to wait to have her again ‘till she’s ready’ and then she added, "maybe I'll see Ray another time or two before then". That got me going. Then she started saying how, "maybe a break will be good for you; you know, you taking a break from cumming in me this week?" And then she said it, "you know.... let Ray have me".

It turned me on to hear her saying it the way she did and I was getting pretty close. With just a little more teasing, I let loose with my second orgasm for the night and it was awesome! I heard her moan but was too engrossed to notice whether she was masturbating herself. When I'd finished she let out a deep breath and hugged me around my shoulders and said how much I'd cum for the 2nd time and how, "it's better that it's not in me" and she leaned up and kissed me and said, "next week".

As she scooped up my cum she didn't even really need to prompt me, I just opened my mouth and licked off her fingers. She said it turns her on a lot that it doesn't bother me that she likes the intimacy she feels with me when she can kiss me and taste it on my lips and tongue.

Again following our pattern, maybe 30-45 minutes later she once again reached down into my boxers but this time I just had to tell her ‘no’, that I wasn't up to a 3rd time. She stroked me for a bit and I got hard but she took her hand away and immediately went back to being softer. She kissed me and said, "Will that keep you satisfied for another few days?" After the kiss ended she held me before she let me go and said, "you will always be my husband and he will only be my lover".

*******​

Suzanna is out by the pool in that same bathing suit again but no drinking this time so not sure her imagination is going to go wild. She is due to go over to Ray’s this afternoon and she/he/they've invited me over to join them for dinner. I asked her if they'd be ‘having fun’ while I was there and she said that she didn't think I'd be up for that after not having her for so long and didn't want to be ‘cruel’ but then she came up to me and kissed me and said, "you'll just have to settle for knowing what we'll have been doing before you got there" and then she added as she patted her hand against her pussy, "maybe you'll even get a peek at what's under here".

I asked her if Ray knew what was going on between us, her denying me like this and making me wait. She said that she hasn't told him specifically about what we're doing right now but reminded me that he's known for a while now that, "you're kinky this way".

I have to say that it is all getting to me. Even with jerking off like a madman it's not the same but it is just incredibly amazingly arousing to know that I haven't seen her pussy now in almost a week. I think she almost slipped this morning when she came out of the bathroom in just her light summer robe that doesn't go down that far. She saw me peering at her and damn if it didn't turn me on how quickly she pulled the robe together and tied it.

We only talked a little more last night as we'd gone over our neighbours and had some wine with them. She looked at me as we were getting towards bed and said again as she has the other nights that if I want some alone time with the computer or whatever that I don't have to worry about her. She added, "of course, if you want to do it here, that's also nice too .... you know I always love to watch you". And then she said, "it's so much easier now that I understand you more".

We were still dressed and it seemed like an opportune time to ask it so I said, "what do you mean by that?” And she proceeded to tell me that she thinks she understands a lot more about what turns me on and that knowing what it does to me is something that makes her happy and she admitted, makes her horny too.

In the few minutes she shared that she now knew that making me wait and letting Ray have her instead is similar to the wedding and the times before that where Dan had insisted and so on. She quickly added that she didn't think either of us was ready to be able to say this back then too.

*******​

Suzanna seems to have come into her own regarding understanding me and what turns me on about all of this stuff. Yesterday I went out and joined her in the backyard and as I looked at her I imagined I could see more camel-toe through her wet bathing suit than I can ever see through her panties so it was most enjoyable looking over at her as I lay out in the sun next to her.

We talked idly about general stuff. (Both of our kids were gone for the day as I suspect they will be most of the summer now that either they or friends of theirs drive.) I guess it was about 3pm when she quit lying out in the sun and swimming to get ready to go over to Ray’s. I followed her into the house and again tried to spy on her as she got ready for her shower. She took her top off as she got the shower started and was about to pull the bottoms off when she turned and again saw me in the reflection in the mirror. This time she came up to me and teased me and said, "only 3 more days, you'll be okay" and after she kissed me she said, "just think how much you'll want me by then". With that she closed and locked the door.

I thought about what she'd said and in a way, I actually agreed with Suzanna more, that not seeing them together would both be easier on me as well as giving me more mental fodder. I'd thought about ducking out of joining them but then thought that I really would like to be there. I had been struggling with this decision about my going over there since she'd first mentioned but, crazy, the more I thought about it the more turned on I felt.

She left about 4pm and told me to come over about 6:30pm unless she called me with other instructions. Left alone I fought off the urge to go online and decided I was going to do my best to wait till Wednesday to cum.

I was about to leave at 6:15pm when she texted me ‘wait till closer to 7pm’

I can't describe the feeling, the arousal and anxiety welling up inside me reading that text knowing what it meant; knowing what she was doing as I waited.

I couldn't wait any longer and left home at 6:30pm figuring I'd stop by and buy some beer to take which delayed me so I found myself knocking on the his door just before 7pm. Ray greeted me as if we were old friends, shook my hand and welcomed me in. As I followed him into the kitchen he said for me to put the beer in the refrigerator and that Suzanna would be out in a minute while he went out on the deck to light the barbeque. As I looked around his den I felt a hand on my shoulder and it was Suzanna who turned me around and gave me a kiss. I stepped back and looked at her and could see both the smile on her face as well as the tell-tale look of her having cum, probably multiple times. There's a certain look in her eyes and this seeming calmness that you can see clearly. I looked at her and she was wearing just one of Ray's button-down shirts that was open most of the way and when she'd lean forward her breasts were totally visible. As she started to talk to me while Ray was still outside I could peer down the front of the shirt she was wearing and I could see she had panties on underneath. My first thought was that ‘she's usually naked under there’. She saw that I recognised she had them on and the first thing she said was, "I told Ray a little about what we're doing" as if she knew what my response was going to be. She leaned up to me and kissed me again as we heard Ray come back in and ask/confirm how many burgers and such we wanted and the next thing I knew, Ray was handing me a beer and pouring Suzanna another glass of wine. With that the 3 of us sat at his kitchen table and started talking.

Had I not known they'd already had sex and had Suzanna not been wearing what she was, the 3 of us would have just looked like old friends sitting around chatting.

I won't say it was a difficult time for me, but it was a bit unnerving with so much known but at the same time not being spoken about. The conversation stayed in generalities such as how damn hot it was out, kids summer jobs, etc. but all the while, whether it was in my head or for real, I swear I could see Suzanna gently moving and shifting around as she sat there at the table with us and all I could think was that her pussy was probably still full of Ray's cum. I really wanted to ask about what had gone on and what she'd told Ray but it seemed a bit awkward to do so but I would also add that thought made me incredibly horny to think about.

There isn't really much more to tell about last night. Ray was cordial to me but there was no sexual interaction between him and Suzanna and overall the night was not particularly sexually involved. At one point I was with Ray was tending to the barbeque, cleaning it and oiling up the grills, when I went to take a bathroom break. I came into the kitchen and didn't see Suzanna there but as I went around the corner to go to the bathroom I saw that she was in there and as I watched she stood in front of the mirror looking at herself. I was about to go in when I saw her reach for a wad of toilet paper and then pull the front of her panties out and wipe up what must have been leaking out of her pussy! She obviously didn't see me peering in as she wiped around and then she pulled the paper out and before she tossed it into the toilet she gave it a sniff and smiled at herself in the mirror. I quickly went back into the kitchen and when I heard the toilet flush, I made it look like I was just coming in. We met in the hallway and she hugged me and said, "see, this isn't so bad" and as she kissed me she whispered, "even if you do know what we did....” My cock was like a log when I pulled it out to try to piss.

The other thing worth mentioning is that after we'd had dinner and had a few more beers (and Suzanna had finished her bottle of wine) that we did relax a bit and the conversation did turn a little sexual. Ray said to me that Suzanna had shared what she was planning on for us for Wednesday. I think he's past the point of being surprised by this stuff or at least showing surprise with me. He looked at me and said, "you are into some weird stuff" and with that he put his arm around Suzanna, hugged her and said, "but hey, I'm not going to complain." He playfully elbowed Suzanna a bit saying, "I'm always happy to help...”

I'm still not sure how to deal with Ray, maybe I never will, it's just not something I'm used to. I try to treat him as a friend but at times it'd just be easier if he was a bit more aggressive so that, like Dan, I'd find it easier to view him as, I guess, a ‘bull’ for Suzanna but we seem to be wavering over this ambiguous ‘friend status’.

After Ray’s comments Suzanna said, "OK, we don't need to talk much more about that right now." It was obviously directed to the both of us but I felt (and later confirmed) that she was saying that she wanted to finish this discussion with me later when we went home. Ray replied with, "okay, I'm just sayin'.....” but, like I said, there was no explicit sex between them just a peck on the cheek as we went to leave a while later. Suzanna merely said that she was ‘going to get ready’ and she left us both in front of the TV. It was at that point that I looked over at Ray and just said, "thanks for being cool about all of this" to which he looked back at me and said, "as long as you're good with it too" and then he added, "I'm not asking any questions". A second later he looked at me and said, "Thanks for letting me be your third wheel".

Suzanna re-appeared before we said anything more but there really wasn't much more to say. It wasn't till we got home that our conversation continued!

******​

It was kind of different being there with them for the evening with nothing sexual going on but knowing that they'd definitely had sex before I got there. Actually, it was very reminiscent of how I'd felt when I'd been with Suzanna and Don and I've actually been thinking back and even re-reading much of what I'd written and I guess it's a good thing that I didn't feel the same about Dan as I do about Ray!

While I don't think it really sank in or that I could really focus on it, as I followed Suzanna home in my own car it started to get to me more, that she'd just spent the last few hours so nonchalantly with me after she'd most likely just gotten out of bed with Ray and that he too was so calm.

Anyway, when we got home Suzanna was all chatty with me and thanked me for how I'd behaved at Ray’s and for again ‘waiting for me’. I asked her what she'd told Ray and she said she'd told him most of what was going on. She said she'd long ago shared that she was wearing panties most of the week. He said he didn't fully understand it but she said she actually explained a bit to him about how it turns me on to have her withhold herself from me and she also shared how intense our time is when we are together after waiting. When she said that it's kind of like the turn-on I got from her going to the wedding with him, she said he seemed to accept it more and while still not understanding it, seemed okay with it. She went on to say that, "he's not like Dan" and that Ray will never be the one to ask for or insist on anything like this as part of his relationship with her. She joked with me that she wishes he was a bit more demanding adding that when she encourages him he will be a bit more aggressive, but that he will never do it on his own.

It was after 9:30pm when we got home and with still just a hint of daylight I asked Suzanna if she'd want one more glass of wine out on the deck while we still had the house to ourselves. We sat there in the twilight and talked while watching the stars come out.

She asked me if I was horny and I groaned back, "how could I not be?” She giggled and asked me if I was going to make it till Wednesday. I told her that I was sure I would but that she'd better be prepared for me. She turned towards me and said ,"it really turns you on to have to wait like this?” and after a second or two she added, "you knew that Ray and I had seconds before you got there tonight; I was surprised you were so calm about it!” It was one of those moments where I just replied and said, "I tried to not let it show" and I looked at her and said, "you have no idea how turned on I am thinking about it and how much I am looking forward to Wednesday". She took my hand and said she loved making me so horny for her.

It's a good thing we were out on the deck or the moment may have gone another direction but I held my arousal at bay for a while longer. She told me that she's having fun knowing it is all something that turns me on but again seemed to want reassurance from me that it's something I want her to do. As we were just talking openly and easily I said something like, “I love thinking about how you look and how you must feel right now”. Had we been in our bedroom, no doubt my cock would have been out and I'd be stroking away so it was just as well that we were out on our deck instead! Rather than talking upward as we looked at the stars, she rolled to one side and said, "it's incredible that you really want me doing all this. As long as you are okay with it, I've decided I'm going to have some fun with it". She rolled up onto one elbow, looked at me and in just a plain old voice like she was asking what time it was said, "We’re going to go away again together you know".

I knew it was coming but was surprised at how blunt she was about it. "Oh, is that so ..... when and where?” was my first immediate response. A second later I asked, "Do I get a say in this?” I didn't even realize what I'd said at first but I think Suzanna heard it and recognized it.

She smiled and said, "I don't want to talk about it now. It's just something we’ve talked about.” It didn’t sound convincing the way she said it; it sounded like something she fumbled for. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, I’m not sure, but it did make me think a lot last night in bed and I was very fidgety. I knew what would calm me down but I soooo wanted to wait for Wednesday.

We came inside soon after that and a short while later heard the kids come home so we went up to bed. I lay there on the bed as she stood in front of her dresser picking out a night shirt. As she pulled off her top and bra and shorts she stood there in just her panties. Before she pulled on her t-shirt she stood and turned around and let me see her, just in panties, and then again gently patted her pussy through them and this time in a sexy teasing voice said, "less than 3 more days!". I'd told her while we talked earlier that I was trying to refrain from jerking-off so I suspect that was behind her not teasing me anymore and pulling on her night-shirt and climbing into bed. She snuggled up behind me and whispered that she loved me and loved turning me on like this and said something like she hoped it lived up to my expectations. To which I rolled over towards her and hugged her and told her that there is no one else I'd want to share all of this with more than her.

This morning was back to our norm but with Wednesday getting closer somehow I seem to be more and more aroused by her panties. It was a strange feeling but when I was staring at her in the mirror (yes, at her panties) and looked up and saw that she'd been staring back at me sharing a sexy smile, at that moment I know that she felt it too, a moment of connection between the 2 of us.

She's out of work early tomorrow afternoon but I'm not so I may suggest that she goes and see Ray one last time before I get home. I have such a hard-on right now as I typed that, it is difficult to explain but I think I want to feel that she's given him everything before I reclaim her on Wednesday. That's all that I can think is in the back of my mind. It brings back such intense feelings like I felt when she was with Dan; the more she gave to him (and now Ray), the more I want to have her when it's my turn. It seems so simple when it is explained in that way.

As I fight off the urge to relieve myself, the last thing that I wanted to write is that I feel kind of weird about yesterday with Ray. Like I said, it brings back memories of Dan and my not being sure how to respond or interact with him about it. It seems weird to talk about them together or to ask him about their time together and yet, I spent the evening with a guy who'd just fucked my wife (twice) and yet nothing was said about it. I suppose it's for the best as I don't seem to derive anything whatsoever about Ray, I mean I guess if he acted differently then maybe I would but right now he's not in my head other than being the guy who's fucking Suzanna. I don't feel diminished, humiliated, submissive or anything like that from him. I don't think I feel a thing about him except maybe envious that he can still cum more than I can both in frequency and quantity. Despite that I have to say that, (and it sounds weird to say it) each time I hang with him even with how yesterday went, I feel okay about him fucking her. I just don't get any worrisome vibes so either they're both really good at acting or....!

******​

I'd encouraged Suzanna again this morning that if she ‘felt the urge’ that she could perhaps see Ray once again this afternoon. I can’t even explain it but knowing she's spread her legs one more time for him before I will have my time tomorrow is just incredibly arousing for me.

My suggestion surprised her at first but then she smiled, hugged me and said, "it turns you on this much, huh .... that I'll have this much sex with him?" She reached down and felt the lump in my pants and said, "This is crazy but if it's what you want, I'm sure Ray won't say no".

The one thing I’m seeing is Suzanna's acceptance that Ray is just never going to be dominant with her despite her attempts which is just the vibe I get too; he’s just not that kind of guy. Which, I’m thinking is why we're both able to let this play out a bit compared to being with someone else who might truly be aggressive.

I don't want to play psychologist here but in thinking about all of this right now, I wonder if Suzanna perhaps might, in a way, fear being with a truer dominant person like Dan appeared to have been. Fear preventing her from letting herself go but maybe also fear that if she did, it might be something she couldn't control. I keep getting this feeling of comfort in how she relates to Ray that doesn't seem to convey something more involved.

I haven't seen the sweet pinkness of Suzanna's pussy for like 10 days now, the thin layer of lace or cotton or nylon has kept me from her. Yet, I know that she has been with Ray at least 4 different times since then and the thought that he's cum in her perhaps 8 times since my last time is just an awesome turn-on right now. Not to mention how many times she's curled her toes and he's felt her body tense in pleasure himself; that she's shared that moment with him is almost as equally arousing! The idea that I'll feel her tomorrow for the first time and that I will feel her body cum as we fuck and build up until it is my turn to fill her and, yes, if I can coax it hard again, we will most surely go for a second round which will be very sweet indeed. Now to just last another 16 hours or so till the kids vacate tomorrow morning!

*****​

Tuesday and she got home about 6pm and we again had the house to ourselves as our ******** was swimming over at a friend's house and staying to have dinner there. Our son was home but was gone out by 7pm. After he left Suzanna came up to me and again said to me that she hadn't fully realized how much I enjoy knowing that she's fucking Ray. She kissed and hugged me and then gently cupped my cock and balls and said, "I can't believe you've waited this long to have me again.” I groaned back that I didn't know how I'd made it and I started to caress her and try to seduce her.

She let me nibble at her neck and then down the fronts of her breasts including sliding her top and bra-strap off her shoulder but when she felt my hands around her butt pulling her against me she took a deep breath and said, "whoa, I was serious that I wanted you to wait till tomorrow". At which point she kissed me and hugged me and said, "I promise you can have me all day tomorrow". When the kiss ended she looked at me and said, "if you must know, I'm going upstairs now to get cleaned up a bit ..... and, no, you can't watch!". About 10 minutes or so later she came back down and whispered, "Ray made such a mess in me today...." and that was all she said as we got dinner started. She caught me staring at her several times but she didn't prod at what I was thinking about. I'm sure she knew.

I did not sleep well Tuesday night. I tried to ignore a hard on all night and found myself having some truly erotic dreams such that I thought I might wind up with a wet-dream (something I haven't had in a few years). Come the morning we both slept in a little late and by 10am or so I actually felt better and wickedly horny. Suzanna got out of bed but remained in her night-shirt and panties. I complained to her and she said, "your day begins when the kids leave".

It was just after noon that both of our kids bid us farewell. We are both convinced that they now know we want time alone to have sex as they both had these smiles on their faces as they left.

Finally, it was time to undress Suzanna and have her back as mine but she wanted to take things slowly and she said she wanted to talk about things too. We opened the first bottle of champagne and over the first few glasses she asked me to tell her what I was thinking for the past week and a half. I told her honestly that I found myself more and more turned on as I knew she was seeing Ray more. She giggled and cooed and asked me to tell her what I was thinking and not to hold back so I told her, I told her that knowing Ray was fucking her was exciting as it was but that she'd kept her pussy hidden away for the whole time only added to my desire. Then I told her, "Knowing he'd cum in you so many times really got me going". That's when I looked at her and said, "knowing you wanted me to wait and that you were fucking him is really what turns me on .... knowing his cum was in you while you wanted me to jerk-off was just incredible...".

She giggled and said it turned her on to think about it too. She said that seeing me cum like that really turned her on; seeing me cum all over my stomach and at the same time thinking and knowing that it's not going in her but that Ray’s cum was. She turned to me and said that it turned her on a lot. She said she'd remembered reading some Penthouse stories like that where the wife liked ‘wasting’ her husband's cum while her lover got to cum in her. I told her I remembered that story.

As she kissed me she said that the symbolism of it seemed to be something that turned her on. To which I joked with her and said, "and what about the symbolism of leaving your rings home when you went to that wedding?”

Well, that opened up a conversation that would spread into our foreplay and would tweak up the intensity of the sex that followed.

She told me again how she feels she understand me a lot more now. She again patted her pussy still through her panties and said that she understands how this turns me on, that her lover can have all of her, but that I have to wait. She must have seen the aroused and anxious look in my face as she said that because she immediately leaned over and kissed me and said, "I love you; I will always be yours" and then added, "but like I said, I am having fun with this now .... so as long as it turns you on .... well, I want to enjoy it too!".

I did not admit to her that I was worried or concerned or anxious about her taking more of a lead in all of this. Of course I'm concerned, it means that she needs to be very aware of what she's doing and how she feels about Ray and such but for this conversation it was totally just between us.

She continued and said she wouldn't have believed that just wearing panties like this would have such an effect, not just on me, but on her. She said it made her so much more aware of the effect of her nakedness. Then she held me and said, "it turns you on that I get naked for Ray and that you haven't seen all of me for almost 2 week, doesn't it?”

I told her that her having panties on when I was there on Sunday was definitely something new which led me to ask, “what did Ray think about all of this?” She said that he knows that we play games sexually and that he knows that it turns me on that she will so willingly have sex with him. I asked about Sunday and the panties and she said that she's told him that we play with some denial stuff and how it turns me on. She said Ray's reply was something like ‘wow’ and that was something he could never have even thought about with Joanne.

I asked her what he thought of me in all of this. She said what he's said all along, that he doesn't fully understand it but that he's more than willing to have sex with her; that he doesn't really get into that he's fucking her and I'm not; that he doesn't really look at things beyond him and her and that other than me knowing about it; that he doesn't really care much beyond that!

As an aside, that goes right along with what she's already told me about him, that he's not going to be some aggressive/dominant kind of guy even if he knows it's something that turns me on. She said that's the same way he seemed about the wedding, not that he derived some sort of power-play thing about her and me and him having her for the weekend, but instead, he just looks at it as having sex, great sex, with a willing partner.

I asked about their upcoming weekend away and she said that it's just something they'd talked about, that Ray had casually asked her if she could ever get away again. She looked at me and said, "I wanted to see your reaction to see if it was something that turned you on ... " she paused for a second, smiled, " ... and I guess it does ... which makes sense to me now". Then she kissed me and whispered in this sexy voice, "you like to think about me being Ray’s for a while and then coming back to you!” I groaned and she knew it was my agreement. In that same sexy voice she asked me to tell her what I thought about it.

A few minutes later we were upstairs lying down in our bed and she asked me again to tell her about it. She rolled up onto her elbow but I stayed staring at the ceiling as it was just easier to talk that way without looking at her in the face. I just started talking and told her that after having her as mine for over 25 years that it turned me on that she'd let other guys fuck her so freely. I also told her that it had always excited me that she'd let other guys cum in her and that I knew it was happening way back when we first started dating.

She giggled at that comment but encouraged me to tell her more. I told her that when I think of her giving all of herself to Ray (or Dan or whoever else) that it turns me on incredibly to think of her being able to let go enough to have that kind of intense sex she has with them. She cooed in my ear that, "you like me giving my pussy to someone else for a while". To which I moaned back that it turned me on incredibly that she'd be so sexual with ‘him’ and that she'd share herself as if it was me she was with. I told her that thinking of her at the wedding with Ray; thinking of her sleeping with him, waking up, showering, getting dressed, I told her that knowing she's shared all of that with him drove me crazy with desire.

I told her that the times the 3 of us have had sex together have been great but I added that watching her with him has also been awesome. She asked me what I liked to see the most and I was honest, I told her I loved to see her letting herself go and getting aroused with him; that I loved to see her spread her legs for him knowing she wants him to fuck her. She ‘mmmmm'ed’ and cooed in my ear to tell her more. I told her that seeing her orgasm with him was an incredible turn on and I looked over at her and said, "knowing he can feel you when you cum is so incredible". She moaned back and said that it's taken her a while to not feel any guilt at it like she used to sometimes in the past. I held her hand as I told her that, "I also like watching him cum in you .... I like being there and sharing that moment".

She rolled to me and hugged me and said that meant a lot to her as it's the moment she really enjoys for Ray or whoever, that she loves to make sure that moment is really good for him and that knowing it turns me on that he's cumming in her really lets her enjoy the moment. Among other things I told her I like knowing her sexiness and her body has turned him on that much. She cooed back in my ear, "no wonder you wanted me to see Ray again yesterday".

Around this point she rolled over onto her side and reached down and felt my now stiff cock and said, "All this talk has me turned on and I know it has you turned on, are you ready to have me again finally?". I literally jumped up to my knees and leaned down to start to undress her! She giggled and said, "wow, I guess you are horny ... okay - let’s start slowly" and she sat up and let me pull her shirt off. She still had her bra on and teased me a bit before she leaned forward and let me unclasp it. Her nipples were rock hard which answered my question of whether she was as turned on as me!

She wanted to move a bit more slowly and despite my eagerness I went along with her request and spent quite a bit of time caressing and sucking at her breasts and nipples. I was waiting for a sign that she was ready for me to continue undressing her when she said she wanted to talk to me a bit and then she said, " ... about what I'm thinking about".

I was instantly nervous. I know what she'd said about their weekend away being something unplanned so I wasn't sure what else to expect. She ran her fingers through my hair as I gently chewed at one nipple and then the other, each time I could hear her moan and I wanted more and more to get between her legs already. I started to work my way down her body when she said, "are you going to listen to me like I did to you?” I was almost at a raging boil but I realized she really wanted to share with me as I had with her.

She started by saying that it's taken a while for her to understand me but now that she does and she can see that it's what I want and, yes, she admitted that the intensity between us has skyrocketed; that since she's let herself accept this that she's now learned to embrace the idea. She rolled her head towards me and said, "I never dreamed I'd be doing this as a married woman" to which she added that I was right, that she was promiscuous when we started dating.

I responded, "ahem?" and she giggled and said, “okay I was very promiscuous” adding, " ... but it was right after my divorce and, well, it was just the way it was". I reminded her that it was the early 80's and it was the norm to which she smiled. I said, "I loved it when we had sex on our first date" and she replied, "I still think it's better to just get it out of the way rather than having everything revolve around and build up to it" and then she admitted it (as if I didn't know it already) that even back in college she had always loved to have guys cum in her. I told her that I thought it was totally erotic and that’s what I've always loved about her. She smiled and blushed when she realized how relaxed and open she felt with me.

She said she had thought all that was past her but now with the kids getting older it seemed easier to think about it again. She looked at me and said, "sorry, once I became a mom, it changes you. Once I'd given birth to our kids I didn't feel at all like sharing my body with anyone else and that even when you first suggested it and we'd taken those first steps, that while it turned her on a little I knew I wasn't ready ... ” She paused and took a breath, “... but once the kids were older and we started having more time for ourselves and we went away on ‘that trip’ I started to think that maybe it'd be fun.”

She hugged me and said that she didn't want to think a lot about the past. She pulled away from me and said again that she hadn't been ready for all of this with Peter or even with Dan; that she wasn't as sure of herself or us. She looked at me and said she was very confused and conflicted at the time about why I wanted to give her so many experiences as I had been but then she looked at me and said, "I think I understand it all now; it turned you on that I would do it with them." She said that at the time, she gave into those ideas/suggestions/requests because she wasn't totally sure what to do she admitted that it turned her on although she felt confused and conflicted about going through with them. Then she kissed me saying, "all the while because I didn't understand how that could turn you on enough to want me to do it with them instead of you". Then held me and said, “I think I understand now. I understand it now because it turns me on too".

I was again moving down her breasts to her stomach hoping to pull her but she held me back again and redirected me back to her breasts for a little longer while she talked. "I love fucking Ray" was her next sentence and I nearly bit down hard on her nipple as she said that. I moaned obvious encouragement for her to continue and she said, "I love how effortless it is with him" and she proceeded to tell me how she feels she can let go so easily with him and again repeated what she's said all along, "I love being naked for him, I love the feeling it give me when he can see all of me and that I will let him .... no, that he can have all of me". She held me close and said that she used to fear letting herself go, "you know, letting myself cum with him, but now, it feels soooo sexy. I couldn't believe it when you wanted me to see him again yesterday .... I think I'm still wet from him yesterday".

That comment drove me crazy and I moaned my frustration at her holding me back. She continued to talk and said that at first she did it for me, wearing her panties, because she knew it turned me on but then she said that starting even before the wedding that she'd begun to feel a sexual thrill from doing it. She said she'd see the desire and arousal it caused me and that would make her horny, "lately though, it's really made me so horny for you (meaning me) on Thursday nights when I come home and I know how slippery and wet I am and that you know it too". She said at first that she missed me having sex with her on Thursday nights until she realized that waiting totally turns me on but that she too gets so aroused at, "feeling how wet and sticky I am beneath my panties".

I was breathing really heavy by this point and she hugged me and said, "are you ready? You haven't even seen my pussy in so long, think you remember what it looks like?” To which I panted back, "oh yeah, I surely do". That’s when she raised up her butt and said, "just the pants first; I want you to wait a little longer".

Her butt felt so good as I slid my hands past it as I pulled her pants off. Only a pair of light pink panties now stood between us. I'd long since shoved off my shorts and boxers. She leaned up at me on both elbows and said, "I have a surprise for you in here" and she spread her legs apart a little bit. I was really turned on and my cock was bobbing away. She kissed me and then raised her butt as a signal that I could take off her panties.

I think my hands were shaking as I was so excited. It took me a second to realize but as I slid them off and she spread her legs for me I saw that she'd let her pubes grow back a bit! Surrounding her delicious pussy was a soft patch of short curly dark-brown curly hairs! Wow! I knew she'd let her pubes grow in the past when she'd be going to the doctors but even that she'd stopped doing so this surprised me. I asked, "What's this about?" She looked at me and said, "I started letting it grow after the last time we had sex and I thought it'd be different for a little while like this". I was all amazed at it and started to play with the light fuzz, spreading it back away from her pussy lips. The bush above her clit was a bit more pronounced and I remembered how she'd like it if I'd tug at it gently during foreplay. I heard her say, "so, what do you think?"

I answered, "mmm, what a nice change!" to which she said, "Ray liked it too". That comment gave me the most humongous hard-on thinking that he's been fucking her all week with her pussy now framed by this light-brown hair and that I've had to wait till now! I honestly don't know how I hung on without bursting at that moment; I so wanted to bury my cock in her.

Talk about ‘first date’ experience and jitters! Last time I saw her pussy she was totally bare and oh so sweet looking, this time there's soft short hair surrounding her pussy! It was like she was a different person. She encouraged me go to down on her and then said, “it tickles”. All I could think of was that she knows that because it's Ray that's tickled her. Still, dipping my tongue between her swollen pussy lips I swear I could taste the unmistakable tang of cum. I licked at her as she pulled her legs back but honestly, we both knew what we wanted, no, needed.

I felt her start to cum, just the beginning, I could feel her pussy twitching and could feel her body responding. All mention of Ray was done now between us; she looked down at me with the glaze of desire in her eyes and just said, "Fuck me". Her look of desire was all I needed as the final encouragement.

She no longer mentioned Ray, instead told me to fuck her good but that's not to say that he was out of my mind. I couldn't help think of him with her as I pushed my cock into her for the first time in so many days. She felt open and so accommodating, I knew she was wet but dare I say that over the multiple masturbation sessions, that I'd maybe forgotten how silky smooth her pussy felt. I sank all the way in on my first thrust and all I could think of was that she's this wet and open because she's been fucked by Ray almost every other day since last week. Damn if that didn't get me to the bursting point soon.

Prompted by me we moved around on the bed as I didn't want to cum too soon and even more so, and even better yet, I so wanted to feel her cum before I did. I pulled her up to her knees and again knelt by the edge of the bed looking at her well-used pussy and loving how she was totally comfortable letting me do so. She ran her fingers up and down to pull it open for me and needless to say I plunged back into her, grabbed onto her hips and started fucking her silly. I can't say all thoughts of Ray were gone but I can say that when she'd lean down into the bed and arch her back the only thing I could think about was how awesome it felt to split her open like that. She squealed at how big I felt in her, "even bigger than I remembered....." and with that I swatted at her upturned butt, reddening both cheeks. I felt her getting closer to cumming but instead of spanking her again I put one foot up on the edge of the bed and with one hand I reached around her and played with her clit. My other hand, I licked and wet my index finger and I began probing around her butt. I pushed it in her ass and she let out this incredibly erotic moan into the bed. I wet my finger again and this time pushed in up to the first knuckle. That brought about a grunt and a spasm from her that pulled me even further into her pussy and made me slam into her butt and lift her off the bed. She squealed again as on my next thrust I pushed my finger back into her ass again. She grunted again feeling my finger and cock pushing in and then pulling out of her she moaned out loud and turned back to look at me as I plunged back in. She may have looked back towards me but her eyes were lost, glazed over as she stared blankly as she pushed her pussy again back towards me as I pushed into her. Faster and faster we moved until at one point she began to flail around on the bed, slamming her arms and hands into the bed as I felt a huge orgasm overtake her. Her pussy clenched down on my cock at the same time as her butt clenched down on my finger. I gently rubbed the fingers on my other hand over her pussy lips (surrounding my cock) up to her clit and that pushed her over the edge. She slumped down towards the bed and arched her back and moaned out in the most sexy tone ever, "oh god ... fuck me ... fuck me hard". And so I did ,I fucked her so hard I was banging into her on each thrust and propelling her up in the air. But I wasn't fucking her fast, oh no, instead, it was just slow, deep and very forceful. It was intense to feel her cum with each wave hitting just after I'd push all the way into her each time. To say she was wet is an understatement as within a few moment I was pulling totally out of her (leaving her pussy gaping open) and then pushing back into her all the way each time. She began screaming and her orgasm went overboard as I pulled my finger out of her ass and used both hands to pull her hips hard towards me. A second later she let out a long moan and I could feel her whole body relax and almost go limp.

I still hadn't cum yet as I so wanted her on her back and we knew it. I could have probably let go being behind her but I truly wanted her to have all she could. She giggled and rolled over and pulled her legs back for me. Again, the first thing I saw was this frame of curly brown hair surrounding her wet and open pussy that seemed to be beckoning for me. As I moved in she looked up at me and said, "I love you" and a second later I saw her close her eyes and she just started saying, "fuck me" slowly over and over. I felt huge going into her, it still felt like I was stretching her open. As I pushed all the way into her she opened her eyes and groaned at how it felt for me to fill her pussy after so much time. When I pushed all the way into her it felt fucking incredible. She pulled back more for me and I started to get into a rhythm with her which I knew was making her start to cum again. I could feel her push back at me pulling me in deeper and feeling the wetness of her pussy spread beneath me was incredible enough but the tickling sensation of her curly pubes around the edge was really something new and damn if it didn't drive me crazy.

I know I felt her cum at least once more before I felt the urge become too strong for me. I put her legs around my arms to hold her open and she licked her fingers and played with her clit as I drove into her as deep as I could. She squealed and again I could tell she was approaching another huge orgasm. While I honestly hadn't thought about Ray up till that moment, the thought of him fucking her 8 times since I'd had her last was all I needed to push me over. I could feel at least 5 or 6 thick spurts of cum fill the insides of her pussy, enough that she squealed and groaned, "oh god, it's so hot...." that I swear it coaxed another few out of me such that a moment later I collapsed onto her and only then did I realize that she'd cum at the same time as me.

As I lay there on top of her she reached up and hugged me and held me. I pushed up away from her and it was a moment that I know we both felt nothing cuck-related at all, just a moment when we were one and just as she could feel my cock still deep in her pussy, she knew I could feel all of her still all tingling and sensitive, sharing the feeling of having cum together.

I can't say that I didn't think about cuck stuff, it's hard not to, but between her and me it wasn't there. It was me she was pulling deep into her pussy and it was me she wanted to feel pound away at her.

She laughed as I finally slipped out of her and she felt just how much I'd cum. She ran her finger down there and commented, "maybe it's good for you to wait". I kissed her and told her that she was awesome.

This time it was my turn to say something. I finally just said to her that it turned me on how much more comfortable she was about being ‘messy’ after she's had sex. I told her with me or with Ray that it was something that was a huge change in her and that I loved it. She got up on her elbows again and pulled her knees back and apart and let me see her pussy in all its well-fucked glory! The little curly hair was matted back especially down between her legs framing the now gaping vagina. Her pussy lips were a dark pink, almost a red colour, and were swollen open. She even reached down and pulled it open a bit more and again just lay back again on her elbows and let me look all I wanted; this from the same wife who just a few years ago would have pulled her legs together and rushed into the bathroom to clean cleaning herself up already!

She looked at me and said that now Ray says the same things, that it's not gross or disgusting or even lewd to let me/us see her like that. Again it's the whole thing she says of understanding what turns me on that she's come to believed it and enjoy herself. "You always told me I looked beautiful like this," she said. I think what she was really saying she was saying was that as she's learned to enjoy sex again; that she's learning to understand what guys find ‘hot’. She said, "apparently you all like seeing me like this!” I just nodded with a stupid grin on my face

As we lay there with my cock all wet and sticky and her pussy just drooling away it felt almost surreal. "I like fucking .... but you know that," was how she started and she proceeded to ramble on telling me all about how she liked to fuck and mentioned several times that she liked guys to cum in her. She told me how she's coming to like finding out more about her sexual desires and experiencing them.

I asked her what she was thinking and her response almost sounded brutal but I realized she wasn't really thinking about what she was saying. She said that she knows she's using Ray to fulfil her new desires as they relate to what she's now enjoying between us. It was more the way she said it about him, that she can ‘get him to do whatever’ she wants. I didn't really say anything more about it other than giving her definite and positive encouragement that I wanted her to do so. She reached out and held my hand tightly and said, “I’m having a lot of fun!”

We talked idly about a lot of stuff. It wasn't all about Ray, but it was more about her coming to terms with her new desires. She thanked me for going along with the waiting. I told her that I knew it was going to be awesome as it was and then told her that she'd ‘helped me along’ several times. That brought her back up onto her elbow facing me and she said again that it really turned her on to watch me and she said that it really gave her a tremendous feeling sharing it with me when I was able to cum a 2nd or 3rd time sometimes. My immediate response was that I wanted, “a 2nd, maybe a 3rd shot at your pussy" since we had the whole day and into the evening. She told me that today it all should go in her pussy! She giggled and lay back against the pillow.

I remember it was quiet for a moment or two until she said, "you know, it turns me on watching you" and I said "yeah, you already said that". And then she said again that it turned her on that I wasn't cumming in her, "even though you know I'd love it." She said that somehow seeing me cum like that, knowing she was denying me it, had started to turn her on. I told her that I loved sharing it with her, especially if she'd help get me turned on to which she giggled back, "and I'm sure you love it when I help finish you off too!”

We took a break of sorts, had a bit more champagne and then went back for seconds. She only teased me at the very beginning of this second round reminding me of how wet she was and why but once she felt that I was well up to task (by her riding me to her first orgasm) we stopped talking and began communicating in grunts, moans and, yes, squeals from her several times. At times she encouraged me telling me to "fuck the life out of me". At one point she both complained that I was so rough with her and yet in the same breath she moaned for me to 'take her'. I'm not sure she was having a cohesive thought in her head but I'm sure somewhere thoughts of Ray were there, just as they were in my head; that his cock has been buried in her at the heights of passion went through my head several times. Each time it turned me on like crazy to think that he's felt her like that just as Dan and Peter and probably Bill before that have also felt her like that. Wow, that all the guys she's been with have felt her like that. Such thoughts did go by but, to be honest, I was mainly focused on how her pussy felt gobbling up my cock. Not so much how it got so wet but that it was so wet around my cock at that moment. Each time I'd drive it into her it pushed me closer and closer. She'd cum several times and seemed to be riding one wave onto the next but I finally felt the urge and I knew that I couldn't hold off much longer.

She knew it too; after almost 30 years of fucking she knows when I'm about to burst. She looked up at me and spread her legs even wider than I thought they could go. It felt like my cock should have been up in her throat with how far I felt in her. I pushed it in and ground it around and she let out a squeal that only made me do it harder and harder each time. Finally, the last time, damn, I pushed it in and I could feel it against the back of her pussy. She moaned in my ear, "cum in me" and that was it. I know it was a 2nd time for me but I felt a good 4 or 5 deep squirts come jetting out of my cock, enough for her to squeal and pull me tightly in with her legs as I ground myself around for the last moments.

This time she looked like a porn-star when I pulled out of her, a thin layer of white foam coated the inside of her pussy and the matted hair around her pussy was pulled straight down as I slid down and out of her such that it kind of looked like a moustache around her pussy! She laughed at how my cock looked and as she did a dribble of cum oozed out of her. She felt it and picking up on our earlier conversation she smiled at me and pulled her knees back for me and said, "is this what you want; you want to see my 'freshly fucked' pussy?".

It wasn't just that she said it, it was the way she said it, totally teasing me and totally taunting me, "Go on and lick it if you want to". A minute later she was holding her hands against the back of my head talking me through licking her to another milder orgasm to which she lay back afterwards and said, "Ahhh, I needed that."

We both lay back again afterwards and spooned together. For the first time in a long time we fell asleep in each other’s arms for a nap before dinner.

*******​

Reading that back over has gotten me all excited again, just as well that I am forced to take a break and look out for a new book!

******​
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