Journal of a Journey - Book Thirty One

A new book and I’ve just remembered I hadn’t related the end of our July 4th celebration.

After our nap Suzanna put on one of my button-up shirts and spent the evening naked with me just as she does with Ray. What a turn-on that is and must be for him. I know as she'd walk around or sit either next to me or opposite me that when the shirt-tails separated; her pussy was on display for me. While seeming like old news now it was later that evening knowing the kids wouldn’t be home for a while (fireworks!) that Suzanna encouraged me to ‘go for it one last time’. I knew she's done this same for Ray, lay back and similarly encouraged him. I'd already cum twice but seeing her with her trimmed hair, pussy spread and waiting for me was enough to get me going one last time. Yeah, my cock ached after the first 2 substantial orgasms that I wondered if I'd get off one more time but feeling how wet and open she was all the stimulation I needed (well, maybe not friction but stimulation nonetheless) to get hard one more time. She pulled her legs back for me once more and whispered, "come on, one more time". She did cum one last time as I laboured to reach my own final orgasm, feeling her pussy spasm did turn me on enough that a few minutes later I managed to squeeze out a bit more cum into her. For me the orgasm was deep and draining but I also knew that there wasn't much ‘substance’. Still, Suzanna hugged me deeply as she felt my release and encouraged me to ‘get it all out’.

That pretty much sums up our July 4th sex-wise but as with most of our sex-filled days, they are followed by openness and easy communications and that's just what happened.

Ray is going to be away for a week or more which pleasantly surprised me that Suzanna didn't jump right up on Tuesday and run to him knowing that would be the last time for over a week before she'd see him again.

Probably what's more important, at least to get out of my head and onto paper, is just how open our discussions have become since Wednesday. It is surprising to even me that it has become easier and more relaxed than I'd felt before.

I can also report that she has not returned to panties yet. I asked her and she said that she didn't feel like she wanted to deny me right now. In fact, she said that for the moment she likes me seeing her naked again. A part of me wonders if that's because Ray's not around but I didn't feel the need to ask that as honestly, I would rather not know and wait to see what she does; the surprise element is more important to me than knowing.

We talked about the whole pubic-hair situation. She said that she thought it was good for it to grow out a bit every now and then and that it seemed like something fun to do. She admitted that Ray complained about it at first but then once it'd grown in a little more and wasn't so itchy to them, that he'd become accustomed to it.

She sidled up to me and over a kiss reminded me that I was going to go bare next week after my doctor’s appointment. I told her that if that was what she wanted, that it'd be arousing to me and told her, "it's been a long time since you wanted me that way". She smiled at me and said, "tell you what, on Monday night, you do me and I'll do you" meaning I should shave her pussy (or rather trim it back and apply some hair removal solution) and that she'll do the same for me so we'll both be totally bare for next week. It's been years since we've done this sort of thing so I know it is something that will turn us both on.

Last Thursday morning she came out of the bathroom naked after her shower then as she strutted around the bedroom picking out her clothes, she looked at me and joked she felt quite ‘well used’ and even a bit ‘sore’. I joked back that it's the prices she pays for making me wait as she did to which she cooed that she wasn't complaining and that in a way, she liked how her pussy felt.

We didn't have sex again until late last night. I actually thought she was going to ask me to masturbate again but instead after she stroked me hard she whispered in my ear, "I want to climb up on this." and she held my cock straight up in the air. A second later in the dim light from the TV she straddled my hips and rubbed my cock back and forth between her legs. I thought she was going to reach for some lubricant but instead, a second later, she positioned the head of my cock right at her pussy opening, pulled her pussy lips apart and slowly (and I do mean slowly) slid herself down onto my cock. I tried to lay still while she did all the work; so awesomely exciting to see and feel that. Once she had me fully inside her she rocked back and forth and I was surprised to feel how wet she was. She rode me grinding her hips against me till her orgasm flooded over her at which point we rolled over and she let me take her once again.

I see neighbours, friends and ****** alike all who seem to have no interest in their spouses. The two of us, in contrast, are seemingly always on the edge sexually and perpetually horny.

Suzanna seems to get enjoyment of me not cumming in her. I think it’s two-fold from what she's shared and what we've talked about. The first part that she's openly admitted to is that she likes knowing I am sexually satisfied (well, as best as masturbation can provide) while she is not sharing herself with me. She said that it makes her feel good knowing that I am not being totally deprived of some release and pleasure and that she feels incredibly close to me as she helps me or just watches. She also giggled and added that it give her this incredible sexual thrill when she'll feed me my cum and has said that she can ‘almost cum’ herself when I lick her fingers off and that she thinks it's very erotic that I don't ‘fear cum’.

I did ask about the other part of me, the masturbating, and she admitted it really gave her a sense of arousal and excitement that as she watches me cum and sees my sperm spurting from me. She was open about it and said honestly that it gives her a really intense feeling knowing that I'm cumming all over my chest and stomach and not in her. She said she feels a kind of symbolism in doing it now. She said in a low almost whispery voice that she knows that it turns her on to think that Ray is the only one to cum in her when I do that and she admitted that she wished she could have enjoyed this more when she was with Dan at times.

She asked me how I felt about it and I told her in the same honesty that it also turned me on that she wanted me to do it rather than cum in her. She said that some of the Letters stories that played up the husband having to ‘waste his cum’ did in fact turn her on. She said that she can let herself feel a part of those stories and that in some of them, she can even get arousal from, again, the symbolism, of the wife in the story wanting her husband to cum into a tissue that she can throw away. She whispered that seeing my cum on my chest and stomach sort of turned her on the same way one of the stories described the wife being ‘satisfied’ by her husband cumming in the toilet and then flushing it away. I told her that it turned me on as long as she wasn't somehow associating it with not wanting me. That brought out a huge hug and kiss from her and her saying again, "of course I always want you" and proceeded to say that's also something she feels that even though I'm just masturbating that she's there with me and encouraging me along so even if it's not true sex with her, it is sex with her.

I'm not sure I've fully explained things but at the moment I'm not sure I can do it any better.

I will close by saying that I too have heard that women bond more with the guys that cum in them. Perhaps that is partly what's going on; perhaps she does desire more sex with Ray because of it, I’m not sure. I can say that it's a bit arousing to think about, that because she wants him to cum in her that it's becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy but at the same time, since Wednesday, she and I seem to be sooo close and sooooo satisfied that it's hard for me to believe that all of this is anything more than something that turns her on for me.

Suzanna just opened the door to our office (she can't see what's on the monitor) and opened her robe and flashed me her naked body.


We're finally appreciating that our kids are older and must be more sensitive to our needs in that they seem to leave us alone a lot. We have had some discussions with them that mom is very stressed from the situation with her father. We've never said, "can you guys go out so we can have the house to ourselves for sex" but they seem to understand the need without that explanation. As an aside, we know our son and his gf are sexually active. We're not totally sure about our ******** (we are sure she's still a virgin) but we both suspect that she's let her boyfriend get to ‘2nd base’ already.

They surprised us again yesterday afternoon by all going out. we had the house to ourselves again and it seemed to trigger another round of horniness for us. Suzanna stripped back down to just that flimsy bath-robe and with less sense of urgency but no less desire we wound up messing around in all sorts of places including her spreading herself naked in our living room where she encouraged me to 'go down' on her right there with the windows open and all. (Our house is raised up a bit so only if you tried to look in could you possibly see anything). From there we moved to the kitchen where she leaned against the island countertop and let me fuck her from behind. After which I chased her around the house till I pinned her down on the bed in our office where we finished our fun. Thing is, with no one home, after we'd caught our breath Suzanna got up and walked naked down to the kitchen and got a drink all the while with our cum dribbling down her legs. I followed behind her like a puppy dog. When she saw my intent focus on her she turned and giggled and said, "What? I walk around like this at Ray’s all the time".

Her honesty and openness is just so refreshing. It’s like neither of us need to hide or couch things that we want to say to each other.

I looked at Suzanna and was thinking that this is probably how she is when she's got the freedom with Ray and it struck me at just how calm and relaxed she is sexually now. Just a few years ago, she'd never be so comfortable to be standing there so comfortably naked much less with drops of cum (yes, mine) dripping from her as she stood there drinking and talking to me. Even though we'd just fucked there was something about her that just made me horny looking at her.

I asked her, "So, what's with the weekend plans with Ray?" She looked at me and said what she'd already said ‘no specific plans yet’ and a second later she asked, "Are you okay with it?"

I asked what they were thinking about and she said, "Well, at most it'd be like 3 days, like we'd done for the wedding," after which she added, "will that be okay with you?" She didn’t wait for my answer and proceeded to say that Ray said it was an open offer and that at one point he'd suggested maybe more time if it was okay with us (meaning her and I).

I looked at her and asked, "what do you want?". She hugged me and said she wasn't sure yet other than that she would like to simply go away with him. Then she asked me, "could you take it if I spent more time with him?” I know I should have probably said ‘no’ but at that moment with her standing there leaning at the counter naked and having just shared another round of awesome sex with her I said, "That all depends on whether I have anything to worry about."

She giggled a reply of, "no silly...." but then she immediately added, " ... but after last week, at least you know you'd be okay if it was more time, right?” I grinned at her and said something like, "when you have more definite ideas, when, where and how long, we can talk about it". The instant she realised that I didn't say no she came to me and hugged me and as she held me she whispered, "Don't worry, I promise I'll take care of you and that you'll be okay".

We talked a little more in the kitchen and she asked me if it'd turn me on if she went away with Ray again. I told her that I was sure that I'd be quite horny for her thinking about what she'd be doing.

So, here's the thing, like I said, she was standing there and literally dripping my cum from her pussy but the moment I said that I'd be horny thinking about her it seemed like an involuntary reaction from her, a second after I’d said it she went quiet and I swear I saw a big dribble of my cum ooze out of her and make its way down her thigh. All I could think of was that she'd thought about what I said and that it'd made her pussy spasm as she thought about it. It was like she was in sort of a daydream for a moment. I coughed and rolled my eyes down towards the floor and she giggled and said, "ooops, I'm making a mess" and she reached over for some paper towels and wiped up the drips on the floor and nonchalantly wiped off her thighs too.

We went back up to our bedroom and she stayed naked. I was obviously thinking that this is how she is with Ray and just as she'd been with Dan and Peter. She flopped down on our bed and had no cares at all that her pussy was still oozing and swollen open. My thoughts turned to the possibility that she'll want to go away with him for a longer period of time. She'll still have to convince me and we will need to figure out how we explain it to the kids. At the moment I must say that I am not 100% on this just yet.

As we lay there in bed we did talk about it a little more. She asked me if I liked the thought of ‘giving me to him again’. I groaned at her question but how could I not be honest with her after all and I told her that, "yea, it turns me on to think about," then added, "but just like last time, I need some time to get used to the idea." She didn’t say anything so I turned to her and said, "but no, I'm not saying no ... I know you enjoyed yourself and that's what's important to me".

She hugged me and kissed me and said again how much she loved me and how lucky she was. The TV was on but after my admission neither of us were really watching it. She turned to me and asked me, "will you be okay if I want to leave my rings at home again?" Before I could answer she added, "it really made me feel so free and able to let myself go".

I told her what I knew she wanted to hear (which happened to be the truth) and said, "it really made me horny and aroused seeing them in your jewellery box while you were gone". She rolled over against me and giggled, "I guess it was a reminder that you gave me to Ray for the weekend?". Even though we'd just had sex not more than 30 minutes earlier, damn, if my cock didn't get hard! Like I said, it's sort of like Suzanna's "lie-detector" for me.

We realized it was getting late and that we needed to get cleaned up and to get some dinner before the kids returned. She looked at me and asked me if I ‘wanted any’ as she pointed at her pussy. How could I pass up tasting her?! But after just a few minutes she tugged at my hair and said, "that's enough, let’s get cleaned up for real" and then both of us showered together.


She's now over visiting her parents. Her ***'s now back at home with 24x7 care. The best they can hope for is to stabilize him and hopefully give him, with therapy, some ability to care for himself. The doc took her and her sibs aside and advised that at most he only has a few months left. Between his earlier heart condition and now the stroke and side-effects they don't think he's going to make it; that he's not strong enough to really benefit from the physical therapy so the best thing is to just keep him comfortable. Quite sad but it's been good that Suzanna's been able to push it out of her head these past few days.


About the last thing I can share is our conversation last night going to bed which was triggered by her standing there naked having selected a night-shirt and then her pulling it over her head before getting into bed. She saw me staring and asked what was up. I told her that I love seeing her change and then come to bed. She giggled and immediately added, "without panties?" to which I replied, "obviously yeah!”

She climbed into bed and sidled up next to me and said, "I'm going to go back to wearing them you know". I told her that was my expectation and she replied that it makes her so much more aware of sex in general between her and me and her and Ray. She hugged me a little and said, "it seems to really turn you on" and I told her again that it's that she wants to deny me like that is the turn-on and then to think that Ray gets to see/have her before I do that keeps me aroused and on my toes. To which she giggled and said, "I know, I think I'm still a little tender from making you wait this time".

We did talk about Monday night too. I should mention that Suzanna said she'd make sure she had everything we need to both ‘go bare’ tomorrow night. I joked about, "what will Ray think when he sees you next?" She said that she’s already told him that she'll be bare again probably the next time they're together. I didn't ask if she’s shared ‘our secret’ but I don't think she's told him of what we're doing tomorrow evening after my doctor’s appointment.


I don't really know if Ray can be pushed into being more of what Suzanna is perhaps looking for. Similarly, I don't know if I'll be comfortable ceding that level of control if she was able to make him be more assertive. For the time being, I am so enthralled by the ‘new Suzanna’ that I will be excited and encouraging when/if she does want to push things further. She knows very well now what turns me on and it thrills me that she feels comfortable in taking the lead.

My appointment for my annual physical (first time for me in many years) isn't till 4pm today. This morning when she left for work she reminded me that she'll be ‘stopping for some hair removal gel’ on the way home then she kissed me and said she was looking forward to later tonight. I didn't bring it up but hearing the excitement in her voice makes me think that Ray passed up on it.

The other thing that I'll share is that, and this will sound crazy, but she pranced around the bedroom naked this morning like she used to after her shower. The crazy part is that in a way, I miss seeing her tease me with her wearing panties! I didn't tell her (I'm sure she knows).

We both agreed we weren't having sex last night. Between the Saturday surprise and our unspoken desire for us both to be horny tonight, there was no nookie last night. It was probably a good thing as I was pretty tuckered out and in need of a recharge and I knew Suzanna was saying she was feeling a bit tender too. It’s quite a change for us to now speak so openly and freely about what's going on albeit that it still takes a little getting used to. It used to be more one-sided in the past. If I had felt the need to talk; the conversation was geared towards me and Vice-versa if it was her but now, it just seems like we're on the same wavelength, and more remarkable, we both seem not to be fearing upsetting each other by being open about it.

Anyway, as she clicked from channel to channel on the TV and passed by some National Geographic show on nicest beaches or something like that, Suzanna commented that she'd like to get away to the beach when we have a few days off next week. I joked back that, "maybe Ray will take you away someplace like that.” That brought her to roll over onto one side and look at me and she said, "would you be okay with that?”

hearing her say that drove my cock immediately hard! I probably should have hmmmm or hemmed/hawed a reply but instead I just said the first thing that came to my mind and that was, "probably.... depends....” She kissed me and I said, "so, is this more of a definite thing than you've told me about?". She immediately shook her head, "no" which felt very honest from her but she did then follow it by saying, "we have talked about it and it is something we'd both like". She held my hand and asked me how I felt about that.

She's already asked me this several times already so I'm thinking she really wants to hear me say I'm okay with it. I also think (know?) that it turns her on to hear me tell her how I feel about letting her go off with him. This time I started by saying that, "I'm always concerned that things will get out of control." Before I could get another word out she immediately replied, "You do not have to worry about that, I promise" and she gave me a big kiss.

I continued and told her that it turned me on to think about it and that what she'd said before was true, that it turned me on to think that I was giving her to Ray for that period of time. She cooed in my ear that it turned her on too to think of it like a fantasy escape for her where she can truly be someone else's for a little while. It seemed like it was my turn to talk though so I continued and said that idea turned me on too and I turned to look at her and told her that the thought of her sleeping with him at night and the two of them getting up in the morning together was very arousing to me.

That's when she whispered softly in my ear, "it turns you on thinking of me so intimate with him, doesn't it?" I groaned my reply back to her and she reached down and felt my hard-cock and said, "my my, we're going to have to take care of this tomorrow night"

We talked a little more and she said that it took her a little while to detach from being, "Mrs. xxxxx" and that she was glad that I would give her that chance again. I told her that as long as she came back to me afterwards as she has in the past that I would eagerly look forward to that reunion. She held me tightly and said, "I want this to be good for you too" and I told her softly "as long as I don't lose you in the process, it will be".


I'm not sure if scared is the right word to use; anxious may be a more appropriate term. I'm not scared of losing her or her doing something that'll hurt me, more that it'll be her in the driver’s seat further and her apparently taking the lead on pushing the envelope a bit more.

We did not go-bare last night. Plans changed and Suzanna wound up running over her parents’ house as things seem to change almost daily with her ***. One day he seems like he's making progress; the next he seems to have taken two steps back. They think maybe some medications got mixed up (he's on a ton of them) or at least that's the hope. She's there again tonight too so it’s not actually conducive to being a sexually-desiring situation.

I believe she's been in touch with Ray via email since he's been away/busy. Suzanna has said/teased me that she'll remain pantie-less this week but that I will still need to ‘ask permission’ to have her. Then again, some of that attitude predated the change in her *** so things are a bit in limbo. Still, we are looking forward to at least one or two nights away next week but nothing's firm just yet.

I do not know if she's shared with Ray any of our discussion about them going away. She’s only been in contact via email so I’m not sure what she's shared. I'm actually feeling a bit more relaxed about it since all of our talking and her openness with me. A part of me feels now the shock and apprehension and anything like of thinking about them having sex goes away, it seems like ‘no big deal’ (the sex part at least) and I can accept the rest in a bit more perspective. Of course I'll miss her and my desire for her will only grow but at the same time I still have to say that the thought of her ‘being his’ again and her fulfilling her desires to be his for a while, crazy, but it's incredibly arousing. I've looked at the pics from a few weeks ago many times (I know I should cringe at it) but that picture of them in the shower is just a wild turn-on to look at and think about; the freedom and openness she's allowing herself to feel and share with him and then with me....


I’ve just come home from having my physical. I can say that other than slightly elevated blood-pressure (low 130's over 63) I'm the picture of health. The doc seemed surprised/impressed with my PSA count which was 0.4; he seemed surprised it was so low. My thought is that it confirms that an active sex-life (i.e. cumming a lot from any method) can keep the old prostate happy!

She's due back shortly and I told her we could have a glass of wine and relax together.


We did not go bare the other night. Once again Suzanna's *** has had a setback (low blood-pressure and related issues) so he is once again back in hospital and the worry is all-consuming for Suzanna and her siblings as the prognosis diminishes each time they check him in.

So, there's been no nookie or anything this week and Suzanna isn't seeing Ray until, possibly, after we get back from our little trip away next week. We shall probably just be taking Monday-Wednesday for our getaway. Unless her *** is on his last moments, she said she needs to get away and wants it to be with me. She's said that the reality that she'll be losing her *** is hitting her hard and that she wants time with me; she looked at me and said that getting away will help her let go of all this stuff.

She hasn't gone back to wearing panties or anything like that. Without saying it, I think she wants this week to get back in sync with me as she's promised that, "we won't be sleeping much when we're away next week.”

Then again, I have this other thought that she's giving me this time with her so that, possibly, if/when she does go away with Ray that I'll have already had my time with her and not feel as anxious! I don't know just yet and with her current focus on ****** issues, she's not feeling really sexy at all. I said half in jest that she could go see Ray for a bit if she needed. She looked at me and said, "even if he was around, my head's just not there right now". For her to say that, I know she's pretty broken up.

That said, it's not like she's not horny; she just doesn't feel she can give me or Ray what we'd want and she doesn't just want to lie there. Last night she rolled over to me and said that even though she didn't want to have sex with me didn't mean she wasn't horny. I turned to her and smiled not knowing what she was suggesting (maybe me licking her or masturbating her?) and she said, "you know, you do you and I'll do me?"; her coy way of suggesting we masturbate together. The TV flickered in the background but I know I rolled onto my side and my eyes were glued to her as she spread her legs, licked her fingers and started to rub herself. I knew her eyes were glued on me too.

I let her lead the way on how erotic our conversation would be and when she didn't go for the teasing or mention Ray but said instead just how wet she felt and how horny she was; no mention of Ray. I talked to her back and told her how hard my cock was and how horny I was. As we whispered to each other she turned away from me and really started to go at her pussy with one hand, definitely two or 3 fingers in her and, my god, really fucking herself too; her other hand was pinching her nipples or reaching around her side and pulling herself open even more. It was totally awesome to watch.

She was lost in another world for a few moments as watched and, sure enough, just a few minutes she started to cry out and a second later I saw her toes clench up and her back arch just slightly and I knew she was cumming. Oh, how I love to watch her, she's just incredibly beautiful when she cums, this flush of colour sweeps over her body; her nipples harden and darken; the squelching sound of her fingers in her pussy slowly slows down and her breathing returns to normal but it's the look on her face and in her eyes, that look of release and pleasure that is just so awesome to see.

As she let herself down slowly I knew she'd turn to me and that she'd love to see the effect my watching her has had. I rolled onto my back and my cock was at full-mast. The blended thoughts of what I'd just watched plus a bit of ‘Ray’ thrown in there gave me plenty to use and by the time she moaned her approval I was well on my way. She cooed in my ear how wet she felt after she'd cum and she even brought her fingers up to my mouth.

Smelling her sweetness made me think of what she's been teasing me about with my cum ‘not going in her’ and it made me feel so horny at the moment. I let my head go with that and sure enough within just a few seconds I could feel the urge building. She knew it too and spurred me on by telling me how hard and big I looked, how much pre-cum was dripping out of me. A moment later I let loose and she let out a squeal as I pumped out spurt after spurt. I was about to let go but she stopped me and instead leaned over and did as I'd shown her many times, she ran her thumb up from down below my balls all the way up to the tip of my cock to draw out the last of it and I felt a thrill run all over my body as she squeezed the last bit out. She licked the drops that were on her fingers as I watched and then she smiled and said so calmly, "do you want it?” I smiled back at her and nodded an ‘ok’. It struck me how normal it seemed for her to just ask me if I wanted her to feed me my cum.

I do like sharing that moment with her. It's quite erotic to lick her fingers and to share a kiss afterwards. She says it turns her on that she tastes the cum in my mouth..

She held me tight and snuggled up next to me. I joked with her that she was easy to satisfy tonight and she giggled, "we're not done yet ... are we?" with this little girl voice. I smiled and said, “not if you don't want to be.”

Well, maybe an hour later after we'd watched a show she clicked the TV off and we were kind of lying there in the darkness for a moment until I felt her kissing my neck and then moving her hand across my chest and then downward. If I wasn't hard already, just a second in her hand fixed that. One of us had left the bathroom light on and as my eyes adjusted, I could see quite clearly.

She kissed me again and said she wanted to ask me something. As if she needed to worry! She said quietly, "will you mind if Jim fucks me for a little bit?” (Jim is her favourite silicone dildo.) It's been ages (that I know of) since she'd used ‘him’ and I grinned and said, "I'd love to watch" She smiled and a second later pulled the dildo out of her night-stand and was applying a LOT of lubricant to it. She made a big deal out of rubbing it all over and between her pussy lips and let me watch as she began to fuck herself with Jim. Just as she started to push it into her now open pussy she stopped and looked at me and said, "I like to watch too!” I'd totally forgotten about stroking my cock, I was too wrapped up in watching her.

Soon she went from timid strokes to full-blown fucking herself silly! I even cringed at a few points worried she'd hurt something in there with how she was plunging the dildo in and out of her. Her pussy looked so wet and swollen, even angry looking! Me? I was so far gone that just seeing her arms moving next to me was a turn-on knowing what her hands were doing; one holding her leg back next to me and the other reaching around and burying the dildo in her pussy to the point that just the string on the end of it was visible. Seeing her pull this slick wet cock out of her pussy just drove me wild. In the end she came again before me but this time as I watched and felt her shake next to me, I too let loose with a 2nd load that impressed me in quantity!

We lay there next to each other and absent mindedly I licked my own fingers off. She rolled up next to me and encouraged me to wipe/clean up my cum off my chest and stomach myself; she said she liked watching me lick my fingers off. I joked that she should have just let me cum in the palm of hand; that it'd be easier. She cooed, "oooh, that'd be hot, would you really do that for me?”

My unfortunate reply was, "not anytime soon after this second time already". She kissed my cum covered lips and actually rolled over on top of me and rubbed her naked body all against mine smearing my cum all over us. As I half-heartedly protested she giggled, "meet you in the shower!"


We're not sure when we're leaving to go away for a few days; probably not till tomorrow now as Suzanna wants to spend this afternoon with her *** who's still in the hospital. He’s now with some sort of elevated white-blood-cell count which they say still means he's got some sort of infection thing going.

Her *** is still up and down and not getting much physical therapy in the process so there's not much motion on the stroke-rehab. You gotta wonder how much a body can take but he still seems to be there mentally so you have to go with that and hope the rest works out. I know it's very draining on Suzanna; she's really looking forward to getting away.

As I mentioned, there wasn't much sex going on here as she says she was just too tired. She encouraged me to masturbate if I was horny but by Friday night, she wasn't even up for playing with herself. Fortunately, after sleeping in on Saturday, she seemed to be heading back to normality.

I'd hoped to coax her into bed on Saturday night but she said she'd really like to just have a bottle of wine together and not have to ‘put out’. I complained a bit and she said she was just tired of doing for everyone else and she looked at me and snapped, "that include spreading my legs for you." A second later she apologized and said that she shouldn't take out all her frustrations on me and promised that come Sunday, she'd either be in the mood for it or she'd let me have my fun anyway. I didn't push it any further but I was horny as heck (I'd held off on Friday night hoping, etc.). Despite what she'd said, as soon as I started she pulled the covers back and wanted to watch. She teased me a bit about how much I'd been jerking off while I was waiting for her and then teased me that I probably should be enjoying it. Then she looked up at me and asked me if I was fantasizing that she was doing this for reasons other than being tired and just overwhelmed. She smiled knowing she was right and she said, "no wonder you're okay with waiting" and she rolled towards me and started to tease me about ‘liking having to wait’ and stuff like that.

I could sense her reluctantly giving in and getting into it but I was unsure whether it just to tease me or to also give herself a little pleasure in the process. She said a lot of stuff, a lot that I don't even really remember but she did say one thing that stuck with me and seems to turn me on even today. I don't even know if she really realized what she'd said but I heard it, she commented on how much of my cum does/doesn't go in her. I can't recall the exact words she used and like, I said, it was just one of the things she'd said but it stuck and it turned me on and seems to haunt me even now when I think about all the other stuff she's said too.

What really turned me on was when she started to tell me about what she wants to do with me while we're away. She said she doesn't want to look for other guys but that she wants to make sure I'm horny; she told me she's leaving all her underwear home so she'll be bra-less and pantie-less the whole time.

Anyway, I'm jumping around here but come last night she kept her word and said that we could have sex. She looked at me and said that she'd masturbate herself and that I could fuck her till I cum but to not expect her to have the wild orgasm like usual. She did it, she lay back and she was sincere, she rubbed her pussy (I love watching her knowing she doing just what she wants to feel) and soon enough she lay back and spread her legs and told me she was almost ready. She applied some lubricant to Jim (her dildo) and then gave it to me to use. I stroked myself while watching her work Jim into her pussy for a bit.

I could tell by watching her that she wasn't going to orgasm, that she was just getting warmed up for me. I have told her many times that I feel weird and guilty using her like this but she's assured me that even though she may not cum, that it is still a nice feeling for her to know I've cum in her and to feel my pleasure.

So, I did it. I'm not really proud of it but she truly was okay with it. She pulled her legs back for me to get started and then said, "it's for you, don't worry about me". With that she let me push her legs back around my arms and within a few minutes, I'd let the visions in my head get to my cock and, sure enough, when I want to be fast, I can be fast. Maybe 10 minutes later she must have felt me getting close and she said softly, "go ahead honey, it's for you." With that I pushed into her and let go. She said later on she'd almost cum when I did but that the hug and kiss we shared in the moment afterwards was all she needed and was enough satisfaction for her.

She did look up at me afterwards and said, 'that's all you get till we're away and I'll be horny too".


We're slowly packing stuff up for tomorrow and getting food for the kids and such for the next few days and, yes, she's also promised to pick up some of that gel stuff while she's out so that she can be baby-smooth and bare for me.


We did spend 4 days and 3 nights away and we talked about everything and I do mean everything.

She hasn't seen Ray in over 2 weeks and it doesn't look like she'll be seeing him till, maybe, this coming Thursday so I was the beneficiary of her horniness these past few days.

I guess the place to start is that she hasn't gone back to being bare yet. She asked me what I thought if she'd just trim it a little but maybe let it grow back a bit. I asked what was new with that and she said that, "it's been a while". However, over our time away she shared that she will definitely shave it again before the end of summer which led to her saying that she likes how it feels when she's out on the nude beach. I joked with her that, "Ray won't recognize you. She laughed at that.

Our trip away was just what we needed. haven't fucked as much in a long time; not since the last time I was able to get her away for that much time without the kids. She was insatiable, at times literally begging me to keep on fucking her. I don't want to draw comparisons to her weekend with Ray but for now if there was any wonders if the spark is still there for us, it wasn't just sparks it was flames! Between Tuesday evening and Friday morning before we checked out I know I came in her 5 times and last night at home, before ‘going back to reality’ we went for a 6th time.

It's not just the number of times but it was how crazy the fucking was. On Wednesday we explored all sorts of new positions including discovering a sort of new one for us that was very intense involving her sort of being suspended. Instead of my arms holding her legs back, she would arch her back and shift her weight so that my arms were holding her up aligning her silky pussy with my cock just perfectly. When we got it working really well (after lots of wine and some funny stuff to smoke!) Thursday night was one of the first times in ages that she actually squirted as she orgasmed! I could feel her body start to shake as she let out this sound that can only be described as a screaming moan. I watched her below me and her eyes sort of rolled back in her head and as a huge orgasm swept over her, her pussy let loose with this gush of her cum that I hadn't seen like this in years. The insides of her thighs and mine were drenched and her pussy became incredibly wet and open.

We fucked in the morning and at night and after 2 days of fucking she commented (and I had noticed!) that her pussy seemed to be always wet. At first I thought it was just that I'd cum in her so much but it was more than that, she was just plain wet such that we never even used the lubricant we'd brought (well, not for fucking at least).

She'd packed some of her toys including a thinner ‘plug’ (she left the bigger anal/vaginal plug at home) and her favourite 2 dildos. Wednesday night she asked me to ‘fill all her holes’.The plug went in her ass, her favourite dildo ‘Jim’ went in her pussy and she eagerly sucked my cock as deeply as she could. It was incredible to see her orgasm like that and I knew she was cumming intensely from how she seemed to clamp down on the dildo in her as I fucked her with it. She said she had wanted me to cum in her mouth but I had already told her that the only place I was cumming all week was in her pussy (it was a joke we'd started before we left that I should catch up to Ray).

By the time I managed to squeak out one last cum last night, I was totally spent. Today, I don't even think I can get it hard if I tried! (Which is actually making this a bit easier to write.)


As far as reconnecting with Suzanna, well, let’s say that anyone near us this past week would have thought we were newlyweds or something. I know that being away from home, away from the kids; from the messy house; from the laundry; from her *** and all the ****** issues, I know she let loose with me. The screams as she'd let herself go with our pleasure were for real and, for sure, she was physically exhausted by the end of the week. One evening was spent with her sitting on the couch reading me a juicy story from Penthouse while, the whole time, I licked and ate her pussy. She came several times throughout the story. At the end when she read about how the guys finally came in her I moved up to my knees and fucked her for her last orgasm as she finished the story which ended with me pulling her down onto the floor so she could ride my cock till she collapsed! Whereas I may have cum 5 times, it must have been more like 50 for her!

Outside of the sex it was great just the two of us, we could sit out on the porch in the quiet of the mountains and not hear a sound other than each other as we shared a bottle of wine. In the mornings, we'd sit out and have our coffee before getting ready for the day. It brought back memories of how we were before we had kids and made us anxious for the day when we can have the last of them move out.

One of the biggest things for me was something I hadn’t appreciated before and that was me taking some things for granted and not want to fully accept it all; that in some ways this was really a chance for me to see how she was with Ray at the wedding.

I will say that I am not as easygoing about it as I was before. I told her the same and she's said she'll work with me and make sure I feel better about it but the reality was that she spent the time with me very much just as she'd spent it with Ray. She was naked most of the time we were in the hotel-room and if we weren't going out anywhere, the most she ever had on was this silky dressing-robe. But it was more than that. I think I hadn't given much thought to how they were together until Wednesday. We'd fucked on Tuesday night before bed and when we woke up Wednesday morning we were a bit of a mess. As we got out of bed to shower together I started to think and realize that she's shared this exact moment with Ray.

It made me think as she stood under the shower and I washed her back and reached around and soaped up her breasts. It made me feel weird that I knew that Ray had shared this same moment with her.

I don't think either of us viewed this week as a competition but I am sure that it was there in both of our heads, it certainly was in mine. It wasn't just the sex part; it was that everything we did that made me think about her doing with him. Something as simple as her drying her hair in the mirror in the bathroom, it just struck me that just as she stood there naked with me, she's done the same with Ray.

I will openly admit it, I didn't like how this made me feel. After 2 days there were times I had a sad feeling thinking what used to be something private between us she's now shared with Ray. I know it's silly but seeing her going through her suitcase to pick out what she'd wear to go to dinner, seeing her pick out a pair of panties and then step into them and pull them up, I know it's nothing but at the same time knowing something as demure as that moment has been shared with Ray is somehow starting to bother me.

I can say that Thursday night, our last night away, seeing her after we'd come back from having dinner and seeing her picking out some skimpy lingerie to start our evening out with, a part of me feels bad that she's shared all of this with Ray and that she wants to go away again with him and do it again.

The wedding and the events surrounding it probably gave a bit of structure to their time away together. I mean they did have stuff they had to go to at times which didn't mean they were as free as we were for these past few days which is also giving me pause about her/their request to go away again. To be honest, it's the whole rest of the time together, not really the sex part, that I think is bothering me more in a way.

I don't want to think that all of this puts any sort of negative pall over anything. As I said, I seem to have some new and mixed feelings to deal with, that's all. If anything, I trust and love Suzanna even more now after our time away where I know how well we reconnected. I just need to sort things out in my head a bit.


There’s no doubt in my mind about the side-benefits of her active sex-life. With the focus still on me for the time being, damn, she is near insatiable! She was so horny yesterday afternoon, enough for her to come out and find me in the shed and literally tell me to come back into the house and fuck her.

We relaxed around a fire in the fire-pit last night with a bottle of wine and once again she ‘seduced me’ and virtually told me to fuck her right there on the deck. This morning before she went out to see her *** she came out of the bathroom naked, climbed up on top of me and roused some morning-wood. Fortunately the kids were still sleeping or they'd have heard their mom moaning away. It seems like the more sex she has, the easier it becomes for her to climax too; she'd cum at least once just from my fingers before I even entered her! I'd thought that this weekend with her having to deal with her *** and all would have been a downer for the sex. I'd joked with her while we were away that, "remember when we'd have sex every day like this all the time" and she did smile back and say "yeah, why can't we still do that?" so maybe she's trying at least for the weekend to hang onto that freedom feeling.


I find that I go both ways with my feelings about her and Ray spending time away together as they've done and as they're planning to. I've already told her that I'm not ready for more than just a few days if/when it happens again and she's been very agreeable to that.

I wonder about her emotional involvement with Ray it’s one of the things that we did talk about. I came out and asked her again if she loved Ray. She was coy about it and then said, "Yes". I admit my heart gave a flip but then she quickly clarified that she loves him more like a brother or close-friend and, emphasized, not like a husband or lover.

I asked her to explain and she went back to when she was with Peter and she had some hard things to tell me. She confessed she had let herself get out of control with him and said that had he suggested he was going to leave his wife and for her to go away with him; she looked at me, held my hand and said that there were moments in their time together, she would have had to give it a lot of thought. She held my hands tightly and said that she knows she loved Peter as just that, a potential husband and lover. Had it not been for her knowing his ****** situation with little ones at home and our own experiences with our own kids when they were that age she said she might have let herself go. She said that later on, when he ended it when they moved away, that she felt so hurt and really lost afterwards.

She also said that later she felt stupid and that she hadn't really looked at the entire situation and put it all in perspective until afterwards. She said it scared her at how close she came to putting our relationship on the rocks and that she'd never want to risk that again.

She said she never felt like she was in love with Dan, no matter how intense things were. She swears she never felt the same kind of love for Dan that she feels for me or started to feel with Peter. She does say that she felt she couldn't say no to him though and that it was a struggle for her to resist some of what he'd wanted. I had long suspected that there was more he wanted her to do; she mentioned that she'd had to resist his desire to have her get tattoos, piercings and that she also said she had also struggled to resist his desire for her to be more of a slut with other guys (something I remember her mentioning briefly) or to cut me off. She said it took a great effort to deny him those extremes but on the other stuff she felt like she wasn't able to resist him. I was going to comfort her but she seemed like she was fine telling me about it so I let her go.

She explained was that when she was with Dan, she began to realise that she could separate sex from emotion. She said that he was cold at times with her; as she put it ‘he just wanted to use me’, and despite her dislike for that, she said that she also knew he wanted to fuck her and that she focused on his physical desires and her responses. She said that because he didn't share much emotionally, didn't want much emotionally, she found that she was slowly able to separate the two. She readily admits now that she could ‘probably fuck anyone’ without much preparation or emotional arousal that she felt she needed in the past.

It was amazing to simply hear her talk like this, so openly and yet so confidently. When I commented on that she said, "see, that's what I mean; it's so much easier to accept it all now ... " and then she added, "...with you".

I'd forgotten how this whole thing got started until she said something like. "That’s why it's easy to keep in control with Ray". Which brought me back to, "so you do love him?" She didn’t hesitate to say that she did ... but that she knew herself and knew her limits and added several times that she does not feel any sort of desire from Ray for more than what they have. She looked at me several times and said, "besides, you love it, don’t you?" and that the intensity of our few days alone together was due to her new-found ability to separate things or, as she put it, "to know you get all my husband love".

This bought our discussion full circle and we started talking about their plans for going away. I told her that I wasn't comfortable with it being more than just a few days. She agreed and again reassured me that she knows now how to keep things in control with Ray.

I have to say that I'm also very comforted by the fact that she isn't feeling the need or desire to run over to see him. I know he's been away but I also know that Suzanna wants to make this weekend an extension of our time away and, as she mentioned several times, to give me lots of good sex!


Suzanna has said she does not feel the same for Ray as she did (let herself) feel for Peter but I guess in a way, it is an admission that she feels more for him than she did for Dan. I’m not totally convinced but I don't feel at all threatened by things.

I have these new feelings; I suppose they've been there all along and it is what I wanted. I do love the sex part and what all of that has done for us. I guess it's the reality of the non-sex part that's what I'm feeling. Yes, I knew it's always been there, I mean I know that they're not fucking for every moment they're together but our time away the past few days and enjoying doing ‘normal’ things within our marriage has made it real and emphasised to me what she shared with him.

I'll admit that in some ways, it does give me pause to consider what is going on. When I dwell or focus on the time together we shared and I think that she's shared those same moments with Ray, it’s sometimes hard to accept on its own. I know I've had to deal with this at times with each of the guys she's been with and re-reading some of what I'd written when she was with Peter and what I called their escalating intimacy at the time, I recognize that I felt this same sort of thing one way or another. This past sexually charged weekend was in some ways re-living some of what they'd shared and I guess it just left me feeling a little uneasy, that's all. I know a lot of what we did was what went on between them, she's admitted all of that, but like I said, it's the reality of it (much like the first time I found Peter’s cum in her); just the reality of it. I know our time away wasn't meant as a comparison to her time with Ray but for me, it just seems to be a bit more to think about.

I'm not unhappy about anything, I guess it's just a different form of angst that I'm feeling. It does turn me on that she was able to let herself go like that and if she spent half as much time naked around Ray as she did with me then I accept there's really not much more that can be shared! If I get past the angst, it is profoundly arousing to me to have had a sense of what she may have done/experienced.

I just need to suck it up and deal with it but to be honest, it's only here in my journal that I'm voicing these thoughts. I've told Suzanna that at times it's a lot to think about but have never given her a reason to be concerned.


Suzanna hasn't mentioned a longer time away with Ray after I said that I would need to think about it more. I still don't know that I am going to be okay with them truly going-away as on a vacation together. I know there's no real reason for that concern but for some reason, right now, I don't want to think about it that way. I believe Ray understands how Suzanna feels about him; I don't think she's held those thoughts from him. We've already moved past and has become commonplace that Suzanna may shout that she loves him during sex and I know that she's told him how that differs from her being in love with him romantically which she says she doesn't feel.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that even if we could arrange the 3 of us going away together that I don't think Suzanna's ready for that sort of thing. Not from the sex or time-together part but I'm sure she'll not feel comfortable with it being known that she's with the both of us with the 3 of us checking into one room in a hotel, etc. However, there is the thought of a condo/house-rental type of vacation where there would be no visibility of what went on inside, maybe that could work. (Also not sure what we'd say to our kids though as to why we're staying in a multi-room condo/house and aren't taking them with us). Still, mustn’t dismiss the idea for that's not to say that for a night or a weekend-away that it couldn't work. It would actually be quite interesting to experience the 3 of us in that situation together.

So much to think about.


I don't think Suzanna (or I) looked at our time away as a comparison to their wedding-weekend. Our whole time away wasn't filled with ‘this is how/what I did with Ray’ type of stuff but we did talk pretty openly, especially after one particular vicious fuck, about a lot of stuff.

One of the things she'd told me, which I laughed at as she said it as if it would be some sort of surprise to me, was that she admits openly now that she loves to have guys cum in her. I didn’t ask her for details but she said that for as long as she's been having sex, that she's always loved it but was, at times reluctant to admit it to me. This was one of the first times she'd been so exuberant about it as well as owning-up to it in the past. She didn't share names or specifics but she did say that especially in the time after her divorce, she'd let/enjoyed a lot of guys that way. I pushed her a little bit and she said that she's never been totally honest with me (or so she thought I didn't know) and she owned up to fucking at least 6 or 7 other guys at work back when. What she did share was that she would fuck them sometimes at lunch and this is more of what she opened up to me about, that she loved feeling the cum in her all afternoon. She admitted that she'd sometimes gone out with me later that night still all messy inside. I sort of knew this but hearing her say it now made me realize that she definitely has always had this cuckoldress-tendency.

It's dizzying to think of how much cum she's had in her over the years and it made me wonder if that may be one of the reasons she's the way she is?

While we were away I managed to cum in her 5 times and the thing I noticed was that after the second time that her pussy was wet all the time. A lot of times, both with me and with Ray, she won't be as wet as she likes and will ask us both to use some lubricant. I've long thought that she's wet enough for me a lot of the time but now understand, again from our talking, that she wants to know she's wet enough because, and she was a bit sheepish to say, "so that I can get fucked hard" which I also took to mean so she doesn't get too sore.

The thing is, after that second time while we were away, we never needed to use any lubricant at all no matter how hard or for how long we went at it. I commented to her on it and she was quiet for a second and then said that the same had happened when she was away with Ray, that after their second time in close proximity, she found she was wet enough pretty much at all times after that.

No doubt that this left me totally aroused the entire time we were away. Anytime after that second time when I'd run my hand into her panties, my fingers would find her wet and open all the time! She even joked with me that at times she felt like she did ‘way back when’. I knew what she meant as when we first got together when her pussy always wet to the point she'd keep spare panties and panty-hose in her desk or car at times.

It does seem to be definitely related to having frequent sex though as when she'll go for longer periods of time between sex the effects seem to disappear and we have to go back to using some lubricant. As we talked about it she wasn't totally sure when this started or it if really ever stopped as anytime we'd been away in our marriage. She said that after a few times, that she'd be wetter but that when she went off the pill that the spermicides and stuff may have masked it.

She was coy and said that while it's happened in the past with us, that it happened regularly with Dan. As she said, "he fucked me so much sometimes" but she went a little quiet when she admitted that it was when she was away with Ray that she really noticed it. In a meek voice she told me how it led to the same type of spontaneity that we were feeling where she'd sit out on the balcony in just her long t-shirt and let me finger-fuck her or how she'd lean over to me as we were walking around town after dinner and she'd say, "I'm so wet". Over the time we were away she eventually opened up that she was wet all the time with Ray too and that she let him have fun the same way I had enjoyed. She was quick to add that she didn't take any ‘toys’ with her when she went away with Ray. Not sure if I was supposed to be comforted by that admission.


Suzanna has returned to wearing panties again. Last night in bed it was easy for us to talk as we'd fucked that morning and both of us realized that neither was up for more. She rolled over to me and briefly regaled over the awesome week plus that we'd had. We knew that we were going back to how we'd been and it really didn't surprise me when she pulled up the front of her night-shirt and she was naked underneath and asked if I wanted to, "go down on me one last time?” I knew what she meant but the way she said it struck me and I took her up on the offer. She said, "maybe you can get me to cum?" and I took her up on the challenge too. Like I said earlier, she was still really wet and, yeah, it tasted a little like cum but it definitely had a sweet taste to it that I knew was hers. She pulled her legs back and let me use both hands to have some fun with her and I was actually able to fuck her with my tongue for a bit which was awesome to feel and taste the wetness oozing out of her. She started to moan and let me suck gently at her clit until I felt her hands on the back of my head and a moment later I felt her orgasm under me. Such an awesome feeling to be so close and intimate with her pussy as she cums and to feel her vagina spasm and seep wetness. I was pretty much totally spent and even though the excitement got me a little hard, I had little desire to masturbate and I knew she was done after that.

As I pulled away from her she said to me, "you going to be okay?" I smiled and said that after the time we'd just spent together, I would be fine. We didn't say any more but we both knew what we meant.

Sure enough, this morning she came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and a pair of granny-panties on. I gave her a thumbs-down on the panty-choice and she said that's just what she grabbed on the way into the shower. She then took out a nicer pair and put them on the dresser. The towel moved around her waist and she made it obvious that she was changing the panties underneath; out came the granny-pair and then she pulled up a light-blue bikini-type ones. She sat down at the dresser and my cock got hard at the sight of her combing her hair out in just the panties.


Ray may have her lust but I have her Love which is why I've said what I have about not feeling threatened by Ray at all. Other than the issues that are in my own head about how much intimacy they are sharing, I think I can say that I love what she's doing. In a way, I was looking forward to her putting panties back on today. After having so much sex with her for the past week-plus it's almost refreshing to know I now have to wait for her again. I can feel my arousal starting already!

Regarding Ray, I'm not totally sure what's going on with her and him. After such a long time of him being without her and vice-versa, I'd have thought there would be more urgency on her/their part to get together. I wouldn't stand in their way but I don't see any urgency in Suzanna. I know that she's been busy at work to have had any time otherwise and it also seems that because she was absent last week that now her siblings have dumped on her this week to make her ‘pay’ for not being around for her ***.


I really don't know what to think about the dynamic with Ray. If Suzanna doesn't clear things up after she sees him then I'll push to find out if anything has changed but, for now, I just think its status-quo and Suzanna's feeling a bit swamped. The new feelings that I was referring to weren't her declarations but more the different emotions I had after experiencing a lot of what she must have surely shared with him.

As more time passes, the angst of those feelings of knowing just how much has been shared with him is easing. It's like just more of what's already been shared. I think it's a lot like how I felt when she first used our marital bed ; I didn't feel violated or anything but I definitely felt a pang of loss at losing the privacy and intimacy that only we'd shared to now be something she's shared with others. As that anxiousness now fades, just as it did in the past, the eroticism of it is beginning to rise in me. I knew they'd shared a lot, I think it was more the reminder of it that our time gave me that led to my ill feelings, but looking back it is quite erotic and arousing to now know more of what they'd shared. I suspect Suzanna was even more ‘slutty’ than I may have thought in a way.


Since it first came up, I'd been curious about Suzanna's penchant for her obvious enjoyment of watching me cum. I've known that she's enjoyed watching me since we first got together. I don't recall the exact circumstances but she was a bit surprised that I wasn't shy about masturbating. She's always enjoyed watching me.

However, there is a difference between that enjoyment and what I feel from her on Wednesday evenings when she ‘helps’ me masturbate. There is an obvious feeling I get from her that she derives some pleasure from the fact that I am not cumming in her when I could be. I asked her that but in a more roundabout way and at first she said that she likes knowing I'm being satisfied, etc. Later on I joked about it being Wednesday and that I was finally going to get to cum in her for a change.

Well, after fucking I raised the question again and in our post-fuck bliss she seemed more open to talking and she shared that, yes, it does turn her on to watch me but she also admitted that it turned her on even more making the decision to deny me and know I wasn't cumming in her. I asked if it was her wanting to be clean for Ray like Dan had wanted. She said a definite ‘no’ to that and quipped that Ray often pesters her to come over after I've cum in her! Instead she said that it just seems to turn her on to know that she's asking me and wanting me to cum and that somehow me not cumming in her arouses her knowing it’s her own desire and decision.

It reminded me of the story she told me about in Penthouse letters which referred to a wife who has the husband masturbate into a tissue and then she takes pleasure in flushing it. The story sort of symbolically relates that act to the wife’s desire to be exclusive with her lover. I don't think it's that exact feeling she's having but I guess it could be similar in a way.

As I said, it was a very open discussion and she asked me how I felt ‘doing it’. I told her it was pretty much what she'd said and I added that it definitely turned me on to know that I'd be definitely drained afterwards and that she would have her desires satisfied with Ray. She giggled and held me tight and I told her what I'd said to her before, that it turned me on that she'd say no to me and my knowing that Ray would have her next before me. She kissed me and told me that what I'd just said made her feel good about it and then cooed that it turned her on to think that way too and that she was surprised she was able to admit it. I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well but what she said was that it made her feel very aroused to know the same thing, that as I was cumming all over my stomach, that she knew the next guy to cum in her would be Ray.

Kind of weird in a way but it does make masturbating in front of her on Wednesday's a bit more arousing to know how she feels about it, not that I didn't enjoy it already, but knowing the type of sexual arousal it gives her certainly gives me more mental fodder!


The symbolism of her wearing panties as equating it to being ‘Ray’s pussy’ is something that definitely arouses me. She resumed the pantie-routine on Monday and I've told her again that it seems to continually keep me aroused that she does it. This morning she nearly slipped and was just about to take off the towel around her waist when she realized and caught herself from letting it drop. It was so hot to see her pull them up under the towel knowing why.

We've resumed our Wednesday evening routine as well and I think I was hard even before we got into the bedroom last night. There was a moment of awkwardness at first but when I looked over at her and said, "I want to do it you know...." she smiled and slid over next to me and started to run her hands over my chest after she pulled the blankets down.

She started to talk to me in a quiet but sexy voice and picked up on some of the stuff that I'd mentioned before. I knew she would do it after what we'd talked about, I expected it. I slid down my boxers and she let out a little squeal at how hard I was already! She teased me, telling me that she liked that I was going to cum all over myself and as I'd thought from our discussions last week, she definitely turned up the whole aspect of, "you're not going to get to cum in me till Friday..." and "...just think, while your cum is all over your stomach, Ray’s will be in me next".

I knew from that discussion that she was going to pick up on it and use it. I think that's why I felt the need to write about it as I did; I just kind of felt that whether it turned Suzanna on or not, that when I'd said it turned me on to think about, that it would give her the desire to use it.

I didn't mind though. She cooed in my ear how horny Ray said he was in his last email. She said some other stuff as I got closer and closer. When she knew I was at the point where I was holding-off and sort of edging myself closer to my first cum she kissed my ear and whispered that she, "hoped Ray had kept it all for me since last time". My brain seemed to immediately lock onto that thought and the idea that he'd have maybe 2 weeks of cum for her seemed to consume me and, sure enough, a moment later without her saying anything more, I let it loose. I stroked out at least 5 or 6 pulses of cum all over my stomach and chest while she ooh and ahh'd and told me how hot it looked when I'd cum like that.

She surprised me when she leaned over and licked a bit off the middle of my chest but I wasn't at all surprised when she kissed me a second later and our tongues shared the tart taste of my cum. Nor was I surprised when she broke our kiss and started to scrape up and pool my cum towards my navel where she scooped it out of and let me suck off her fingers.

Okay, I'll admit it, I like the taste of my cum and there's a certain eroticism to ingesting it from her fingers. I'll openly admit it that I don't mind it if it's from Ray either. I suppose I should comment here that Suzanna asked me while we were away if I'd ever suck a guy's cock (it was in the context of what I'd just said, that I didn't mind the taste.) I was taken aback by her question when she said it at first but after a second I told her that it wasn't something I'd personally fantasized about nor was it on my ‘bucket list’ but a second later I did say that if it was something that she was interested in, that we could talk about it. I say this is kind of odd for her because while she's not bigoted/prejudiced she's never shown any interest or been aroused by gay-sex. She did say that she thought that one day she'd like to see me do it , "just so you'd know what it's like". Which led back to the discussion about cum and its taste but she said that there's a whole physical arousal thing in addition to the sexual pleasure.

It felt so good to lie there afterwards and catch my breath while we went back to our paused TV show. She cooed in my ear a few times how hot it makes her when she watches me masturbate. We watched to the end of one show (maybe 45 minutes later) before she rolled back towards me and said, "I want to watch you again" and teased me about how she was looking forward to seeing Ray tomorrow.

Well, that got me hard. She said that he was going to be surprised by her now somewhat hairy pussy and I joked with her that she'll probably shave it for him if I know her! She giggled and said, "Maybe, but not tomorrow".

She reached into my boxers and found that I was already pretty hard she giggled and said that it did look like I was enjoying myself. She told me that she liked very much knowing my cock is well-drained for what is now today and she asked me how it felt. She knew the answer as I'd mentioned it to her but I told her again how it may ache a bit to squeeze out a 2nd load so soon after the first but that the feeling of cumming so completely was very satisfying.

She let me watch her run her hand down into her panties as I started to jerk-off for her. I thought she might masturbate herself but a moment later she pulled her hand out and put her somewhat wet fingers into my mouth. She tasted heavenly and as I was about to say something about it she cooed that I ‘will just have to wait my turn’ and that ‘Ray can have me first’.

I have to say that this routine and the openness of our discussions are so unbelievable to be coming from her! Even with everything we've done, this whole interaction on Wednesday nights is just incredible.

Anyway, it didn't take me very long at all to get to orgasm #2. A moment or two later I looked up at her just as I was starting to cum and I saw this look in her eyes like she was in a trance or something, totally focused on my thick cock in my hand. Her eyes opened wider as I started to cum for a second time. She cooed that, "you came a lot for the second time tonight!" and even I'd felt it. As I lay there breathing she slid down a bit and started to play with my cum. She spelled out my name and hers in it on my chest before collecting most of it and then, following what's becoming our norm, she slowly fed it to me. The whole time she was doing so she was saying all sorts of stuff; how many million sperm are in here; how it's still warm under her fingers and, again, how it's NOT in her!

I felt really drained after that second time and I lay back expecting to go off to sleep shortly afterwards but Suzanna wanted to ‘be sure’ about me and she kissed me and coaxed me into trying "one more time" for her.

My cock ached a bit as I stroked it. It was slow to get hard and she knew it so a moment later she pulled my hand off it and sucked my cock for a few seconds. Now that felt heavenly! When she had me hard again she went back to putting my own hand on my cock and encouraging me, "Come on, you want to cum all over your hand, right?" and then she cooed really sexily in my ear, "come on baby you know you want it on you tonight and to wait for me."

I don't know where I got it from but eventually, yeah, my cock did get hard and I did get into it in earnest. When she saw that I was fully hard she sat up next to me and let me watch her play with her breasts for a bit. Her nipples were hard but she let me watch her hands as they ran all over her body. When she'd pinch her nipples and let out a moan it'd drive me crazy to stroke faster and faster. Finally after what seemed like ages she must have again felt that I was close. She leaned down next to me and as she watched she told me, "come on, get it out now so you're nice and calm tomorrow" and somehow that thought got me going and with her rubbing her breasts on my arm I stroked faster and faster. Despite the ache I was getting really close and, sure enough, when she said, "come on let me see you again" that was it. It felt like a huge orgasm was about to explode but in reality it was a small dribble, just a few drops fell to my stomach and most of it seemed very thick and clinging to my hand and fingers.

As I'd said above, I don't mind the taste of cum and I know it turned Suzanna on to no end to see me, without any hesitation, take my wet/sticky fingers and put them in my mouth to lick them clean. I swear it was the closest I've seen to Suzanna orgasming on her own without touching herself as I licked at them.

In the end she gave me a wonderful and deep kiss and that's when sleep overtook me.


Uh Oh, new book needed.