Journal of a Journey - Book Fourteen

Well, surprises seem to be the norm here. Suzanna just went out to, of all things, go food-shopping and when I asked, playfully, when she'd be back she looked at me and said, "why?”

I told her, "It's Tuesday night and you know....."

She said to me, and I quote, "yeah, I've been thinking about that, you know, 'cause of the stuff we've talked about" and after a pause, "I don't know, maybe you shouldn't be just 'expecting' it like that." Then she turned to get her stuff and said, "we'll talk about it later".

Wow. Not sure what else to say. I'm wicked horny thinking about her saying that.


Looking back to Friday night, it was kind of weird me just leaving like that but then I thought that maybe they weren't done yet and to be honest, I don't know how I was going to feel saying goodbye to Dan if he was still naked like Suzanna. I would even say that when I came down the stairs and she came out of the kitchen, like it was nothing for her to be walking around his place naked, it was weird because I actually liked seeing her come to me like that.

She told me later that he asked her more about what was going on with her and me. He asked her if I fucked her and when she said yes, he asked her if I'd cum in her and she said yes. She said he laughed a bit when he said to her something about it being good that I cleaned up my own mess or something like that.

I told her that I didn't really like them talking about me like that but she just giggled and said they were only joking. She said they talked a bit, had something to eat and then she made it a point to tell me that they ‘made out’ for a while.

Maybe it's my imagination but I've noticed that she's become more open about that with Dan and how in the past her kissing him was a bit, maybe, ‘reserved’ in comparison.

Anyway there's probably more to tell as I can recall the things we did talk about but as I said, she seems to have accepted my desire to experience more with her and so far, it's been incredibly exciting, even if I don't get to fuck her tonight.


Later last night I asked her again if she meant what she'd said earlier and she said, "what if I did?” As I struggled for a reply she reached over and felt my cock and said, "I guess I have my answer" as I was rock hard thinking about what she was asking. I was still silent and she just said, casually but I know also to get to me, "besides, this way I'll be really wanting him on Friday".

I must have had a look of concern on my face because she said to come into the bedroom and she would ‘help me out’.

She made me promise not to touch her and then she told me to get undressed and lay on the bed. As I did she too undressed down to her bra and panties and she made a big deal out of my getting to see ‘Dan's pussy’ and it was obvious from how my cock responded that she was hitting all the right notes.

She took my hand in hers and she started to masturbate me and then she took her hand away and reminded me that I wasn't to touch her and then she too started masturbating next to me and letting, even encouraging me, to watch her. Damn, did her fingers look good spreading her pussy open for me like that.

She started to talk and tease me as I was getting closer and closer. She'd tease me about how, "Dan's cock feels so much better than my fingers".

I was getting close and she kept it up. She started to ask me what I liked watching last Friday night. I told her how I felt about seeing his fingers in her from behind her and stuff like that. She must have known I was really close when she started asking about how I liked watching them fuck up close. I started to stammer as I was really getting into jerking off for her.

At the end, she made me tell her how I felt and what I saw as he came inside her. I started to squirt away and that’s when she said, "that's my favourite part, feeling him in me at that moment ..... I'm glad you liked that too". My spurting cum all over myself at that moment gave her the answer....

More later; I need to head home now as we need to go to a school meeting tonight.


It was a return to our normal Wednesday evenings of Suzanna finding something to keep herself busy and after our ******** went off to bed, her telling me several times that I ‘ought to go enjoy myself’ if I wanted. I wanted!

This morning she continued to flaunt her panty-covered body at me. She walked around topless for a while as she looked at different things to wear but she knew I was just staring at her panties with the lace around the legs.

I think I'm still turned on about Tuesday night. Every time I think about it I get started up.


Last night I asked her if she was going to see Dan tonight if I could join them again. She said, “Honestly, I’d rather you didn’t ...” adding " ... it was fun last week but I'd like some alone-time this time." She must have seen the look on my face for she hurriedly added, "but I promise you I'll be all yours when I get home!!” How could I say anything to that answer!

Last night lying in bed we did kiss and hug a lot but no sex; that was a certainty. She told me that she was glad I'd talked to her (her way of saying that she understood me more) and said that she was going to enjoy ‘having fun’ with me. I hinted that she should be careful and she said she'd be sure that I was okay and, "this is going to be fun but you need to let me know if it's not for you". I hugged her and told her that I would.


I can't stop thinking about Suzanna though. I re-read what I written last weekend and I probably shouldn't have for I am now wickedly horny and hard. Thinking about her from both last Friday and then how she was on Tuesday, it was one of the first times when I did want her and she truly said she didn't. I know it's crazy but knowing she wanted to be horny for Dan tonight just turns me on like crazy.

I keep thinking back to last Friday and what we'd talked about. I’m amazed to see how sexually open and even aggressive that she's become and, even more so, how sexually confident she is! I think maybe that's the most amazing thing and maybe it's something related to cuckolds in general, that I really enjoy knowing how she's changed and what she now no longer seems reluctant to admit.

Seeing her with him last week was really something. I know I've been there and watched them before but this was the first time that I felt I truly ‘watched’ them. I still can't believe that I actually knelt by the side of the bed and was only a few feet from watching them fuck. It's very different being up close that's for sure. I found myself feeling like I was a part of the action and even cheering them on in a way. I've watched her face and her body before as they've had sex and she's orgasmed but last week was the first time I was so close that I could focus on her pussy being invaded by his cock; it seems almost taboo to have done that. I didn't have the urge or desire to suck his cock (though I will admit it was an arousing thought but I guess what struck me was how physical it seemed watching their faces and bodies. There's the softness; the kissing; the caressing; rubbing; holding, even that look in her eyes, but watching him fucking her, watching his cock plunge into her, it is so what I wanted to experience and even though all I was doing was watching, it was nonetheless incredibly fulfilling to see and experience.

I've been there as they've orgasmed together and I've long known how she feels during that moment knowing the pleasure she's given him and I've loved watching that but being down below watching it up close, seeing how wet she becomes at times, knowing he's making her feel incredible and then seeing his cock slip out of her covered in wetness, it is such an intense feeling watching another cock draw your wife into ecstasy.

I don't think I felt any humiliation, quite the opposite maybe; I think I felt empowered that I was able to encourage and let my wife experience something like that. Yes, I did feel a little twinge of queasiness when I realized the moment was approaching and if I close my eyes I can still ‘see’ him pushing in deeply and then remaining for a moment before doing it again even deeper the next. Seeing her pull her legs back and push up at him, opening herself up even more, how can you not feel intoxicated being there and seeing it?

I actually felt like cheering him on and rooting for him to let loose. I can't say it was as good as my own orgasm but seeing him plunge into her one last time and then seeing him stay deep in her as his body tensed over and over, knowing he was cumming in her at that moment, if there's such as thing as a dry-orgasm, I think I had one.

It was beautiful, the culmination of intense passion. Hearing her cry out in orgasm of her own just as he finished and began to gently thrust in and out, knowing she was climaxing and enjoying the warm wetness he'd left in her. Even now if I were to start to jerk-off, just thinking of that would probably set me off.

Right, time to put the pen down. I must pull myself together and go out and pick up my ******** and then wait patiently for my sweetheart to return.


Suzanna is off relaxing downstairs. I cooked breakfast, the kids pitched in and cleaned up afterwards and we've given her our gifts and such. She's quite content sitting in the sunshine reading her book. On top of dinner out last night where we shared a bottle of wine; I don't think she has anything to complain about!

It's been enlightening for both of us. Long ago we had talked about how people change in a marriage; how some people resist it and it tends to pull their relationships apart over time. But for us, we've always accepted change and fortunately, our mutual goals and desires have been in sync with each other so that the changes that have happened over time have done so willingly by both of us and have only drawn us together. I know it sounds crazy but I honestly think we are closer now in many ways than before she started to fuck other guys.

She doesn't do a lot of texting or emailing or even talking on the phone. Call it strange or whatever, but aside of a few Emails and an occasional cellphone call, they do not hang on each other. Suzanna is far from unable to do anything without him but I do feel that she is becoming more and more desirous sexually with him. I can't say exactly how but she seems to give much more of herself to him when they are together. By that I mean that outside the purely physical stuff that she seems closer to him and wanting his attention more. Of course, she could be doing it for my benefit since I opened up to her about wanting it.

She was quite tired when she came home Saturday morning perhaps more-so than usual. She said that Dan had been more physical with her than I'd seen the week before and indeed, when I undressed her it was obvious that she'd been well fucked (sorry, the only way to describe it). Aside of the reddened colour and swollen appearance when she turned around I could see that her butt was quite reddened too. That's one of the other things I've seen her giving to Dan, she finally told him that she enjoys a little spanking action when the mood is just right. It's something we've done together for a long time and I think that she told it to Peter so I knew it was just a matter of time before she wanted that with Dan.

True to her word though, once I'd gotten over the initial moment of seeing her naked again in front of me, without the panties on, she said she was pretty tired but she looked at me with such passion in her eyes and said something to the effect of, "I need to feel you." Even though she was weary I lay her down on the bed and knelt between her legs and pushed them back to reveal my prize.

I think that is a sight of which I will never tire, seeing her pussy open up revealing where Dan had been earlier in the evening. It never fails to make my cock swell and throb. I was going to push right into her but instead, I wanted to take a moment longer and maybe savour the moment. Instead of pushing my cock into her I put my hands on either side of her and pushed back opening her vagina even more. This late at night she seemed to have little energy and simply lay back letting me explore and I loved to pull her open and look inside and see the remains of their earlier passions. When I think about Dan's cock being in her and him depositing his cum deep in her, damn, it gets me wicked hard. I leaned forward and gently licked at her now gaping pussy and I could taste the tang of the cum that Dan had left in her.

I looked up to see her looking down at me. I knew at that moment that she knew I was enjoying what I was doing and that she knew I was tasting and licking his cum out of her. The look on her face was all I needed to keep going and as I'd flick at her clit her body would tense up. As she'd tense up her pussy would tighten up around my finger and when she'd relax a moment later, more evidence of their earlier fun would greet me when I went back for a lick. I swear, every time it simply made me harder and harder.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer and instead of licking, I crept up and pushed my cock into her in one thrust. I slipped right into her and could feel how tired she was by the almost complete lack of friction.

As we got into a rhythm she began to tell me more of what they'd done earlier. I was going into a frenzy as she told me how Dan would spank her as he fucked her from behind. All the while she said he was telling her she was a bad girl. I was finally able to work up to ask her why she was a bad girl. She didn't answer at first so I just kept fucking her and asked her a second time, why was she a bad girl. She didn't answer until I asked a third time and that was when she looked at me and said, and I quote, "I was a bad girl for letting you cum in me last Friday night".

The moment I heard her say that I let loose with a huge squirt of cum that was big and hot enough that even she squealed as she felt it deep in her. She moaned and pulled me tight as I finished cumming in her. At the end she kissed me.


When she got to his place on Friday night apparently he was all questions about what was going on with Suzanna and me. Suzanna says she swore him to secrecy on it and then started to tell him what I had talked to her about. He seemed surprised by some of what I'd said especially at how I wanted to experience her wanting someone else sexually.

The thing was what she said she told him was really exactly how I feel! It was honestly as if she'd taken what I'd said and added more words to it that even made sense to me. At one point she told me that she told him that I wanted to know that at times she was even wanting him more than me.

I was kind of speechless in that I wasn't sure that I really wanted him to know all of that but, then again, the more she talked, the more she sounded supportive of my crazy wishes and the more I relaxed about it.

She finally looked at me and said, "I get it honey. You want to see and know that I want him, I get it." I told her that I still loved her and that I wanted, if possible, her to share that desire with me. She smiled at me and giggled a bit and said that she planned to do just that. She looked at me and said, "I do want him".

Apparently they talked about what turned me on and what didn't. She says she told him that the explicit stuff in the bar wasn't something I was comfortable with and she said to me that she wasn't really comfortable doing that either as in thinking about it afterwards she realized that it was kind of mean.

I asked what she'd told him that I liked and she just said to me plainly as if it was nothing at all, "I told him you like him to cum in me." Before I could even respond she continued, "he said he had already figured that out". She also told him (again) that I liked to lick and clean her up afterwards and she told me that is something he could never do. Then she told me again that, "he really doesn't like to know you cum in me" and that he likes that she's clean for him when she sees him.

That was when I said something that I guess was Freudian or something because I wished I hadn't just blurted it out but I did, I said, "I guess it's good you only see him on Fridays". The moment I said it in some ways I wished I could take it back. but now, some time later, I have to say that I was glad I said it.

Maybe it is as I've been saying all along, that I'm telegraphing some of this to her in what I say or do. I probably never would have had the courage to say something like that to her otherwise but there it is.

She turned to me and giggled and said, "hmmmm, yes, I guess it is good for you that I don't". Maybe it was me and my brain going off but I swear she had this tone to her voice.


Last night after the kids were off to bed it was obvious that Suzanna was still horny. From how her nipples were stiff through her thin night-shirt, to how she stripped off her panties and pranced around naked as she washed and got ready for bed. She knew that I was watching her the whole time and knew what was waiting under the covers on my side of the bed!

She got in and asked me how I liked having a very naughty wife. I told her again that I was a little surprised that she'd told Dan that she liked to be spanked at times. She blushed and said that she wasn't totally honest with me and that she hadn't told him but that he'd simply done it to her (she did say she may have mentioned it as something that she and I have done) and that he immediately recognized her response. I asked her what that response was and she continued to blush and then she just looked at me and said, "I came when he did it". It floored me to hear her say that, to think that Dan swatted her ass and she came all over his cock! Damn if that didn't get me ready for her in an instant.

She lay back and just asked me if I wanted my ‘naughty wife’ and I said that I wanted her even more now that she's been naughty. She giggled at first but then turned to a moan as I started to push into her. I'd put some lubricant on so even though she wasn't totally ready for me I was still able to push into her and I could feel she'd now returned to her normal tight pussy. Still , it was one of those times when she wanted me to do it like that and sure enough, within a few seconds of gentle pushing, she was eagerly pulling me fully into her.

I know we felt in sync because we seemed so fluid together. We rolled over and I never left her pussy as I moved to be on my back and she was on top of me. As she lay against me and thrust herself up and down I started to tell her, "You’re being naughty again aren't you" and "Dan's going to be mad at you".

She started to really get into it and sat up and then she started to talk back to me telling me all sorts of stuff in broken sentences about how well he fucks her and how much he makes her cum. Normally I can't cum all the time when she's on top but last night with how turned on we both were she started to tell me, "how much he cums" and that started to get to me. She told me in the same broken sentences in between moans about how she feels and how that moment is so important to her. When she said something to the effect of giving it all to him as he cums in her, that was it for me too, I spurted and she squealed away loudly as our bodies crashed into each other.

I have to say though, afterwards, for a few minutes after she rolled off of me and we both lay there catching our breath, that I felt a bit awkward at what I'd opened up to her about enjoying and even agreeing to.

She's been somewhat quiet today about this with all the Mother’s Day stuff going on (her mom and *** were over earlier this evening) but I suspect that I haven't heard the end of it all just yet as tonight isn't over yet. I do know that we're both pretty tuckered out so unless she's wicked aggressive tonight, it's going to just be us relaxing in front of the TV till we nod off....


It is incredibly erotic to go down on Suzanna and to taste and lick another man’s cum from her. It's not really something that I can say I even thought twice about, I just did it. Then again I have been long doing the same for her after I've cum in her so the only real difference is that it's someone else’s. I guess you could consider it gay or bi but I have no desire to suck Dan's cock so when it is just Suzanna and me, it as something I view we are sharing and not something that involves Dan (even though it is!).

To be honest, if I think about it just as Dan’s cum, then yes, it is a bit of a turn-off actually. However, when I think about it being Suzanna's pussy that drew it out of him and the passion shared as he deposited it in her then it becomes an incredible turn-on to see, feel, taste and experience.

As we were lying in bed last night she turned to me and said again that she hoped that what she was doing was okay and that she was only kidding earlier when she was ribbing me about wanting him more than me. I held her and told her that it was okay if it was something she wanted as long as she kept me in her heart. With that she hugged me and said I was crazy and that she loved me and then added that she was ‘very lucky’ to have me.

So that's it, she knows what I want from her and I guess I’ve bought the ticket and I'm now on the rollercoaster ride. I just hope it's not too dark a ride!

This morning she reminded me that it'll probably be that time of the month again later this week and she joked that I should probably be sure I "have her before I'll have to wait". I didn't question it, just knowing she's horny enough to mention that to me is all I need to know!


Well, it's most definitely ‘that time of the month’ complete with the moodiness and such that it's been a pretty-much non-sexual few days around here but given that it started earlier perhaps there's hope for the end of the weekend.

Now that things are moving in this direction, I find that I am very excited about seeing what she and we will do. I do hope that I will be joining them on Friday nights more often but I will also confess that there in some ways I like waiting for her at home more. It was very physical and very in my face when I was with them and that was incredibly exciting. It was also a little draining too for there were so many points when I felt I would lose it waiting for my turn with her. That compared to the anxiety and anticipation of her coming home to me; I can honestly say that I like the combination of both experiences and, even more maybe, to choose when I want either of them.


We were watching TV and I don't remember what show it was bit there was a scene where some woman was upset that her kids weren't home as much as they used to be or something like that.

It prompted something to come into my head and I turned to ask Suzanna if she at all felt that her new desires (in general) might be related to our son first having a serious girlfriend and now driving and graduating from HS and going off to college.

I asked her, "Is this your version of what a guy does when he buys a sports-car when he's hitting that point in his life?”

I didn't really think about it when I asked it but when she didn't answer for a second I did get worried but a moment later she laughed and said, "you know, you may be right." After another moment she said, "well, I'd enjoy it if you got one (meaning a sports car), it's only fair that you enjoy my fun too!”

I laughed at her and then asked if that meant I could go out and get a sports-car! Ha ha. We had a good laugh but it also made me feel good that on the spur of the moment type of question that she replied as she did.


Her period ended quite early and we were having some fun Sunday morning when we woke up. She was tugging on my cock and sucking me a bit as we messed around and I had my fingers in her.

As she got me started up she said some stuff that really got me going. She told me how when she spent the night with Dan that this was how they woke up with her ‘waking him up’. She successfully got me rock hard and started to tease me more, licking at my cock and telling me more about how she liked waking up naked next to him. I started to roll over to get on top of her and she pushed me back and said, "uh huh, you'll have to wait till later." At first I thought she was kidding but then she said, "if you're a good boy today, you can have me later tonight!” With that she got out of bed leaving me there with a tent in the covers.

As she stood and put on a robe she smiled and teased me one last time. She pulled some panties on before going down to get some breakfast said, "too bad the kids are home or you could have had me at breakfast like Dan did!" and turned and walked out leaving me there now having to wait yet another few moments for my cock to calm down. All I could think of was, "wow, just what have I created?!”

We did a lot of work around the house and last night she did reward me. She did tease a little but I know we were both horny and it led to quite an intensely satisfying time for us both. She'd teased me several times about my getting to use ‘Dan's pussy’. It was all playful and damn if it didn't turn me on especially when she said, "okay but I'll have to clean up your mess before I see him later this week".

As we were really getting into it she laughed when she said, "maybe I'll have to make you wait till Friday" and I know she felt my reaction as I swear it felt like my cock grew an inch at that moment. She squealed away as I started to piston in and out of her but by the end, all teasing was gone and it was just pure love and passion. Her legs wrapped around behind me, her hard nipples rubbing against my chest when I wasn't chewing and sucking on them but mostly it was the amount she was cumming that was turning me on. Maybe it's the few days of waiting that she had but her pussy was just incredibly wet and welcoming.

This morning she did tease me as she got out of the shower and told me several times that I'd, "better get a good look" just before she pulled her panties up. Damned if that didn't get me hard to start my day!


We were both quite busy and had the Tired-Monday feeling so there was nothing going on last night.

Tonight, so far, all she's said was, "we'll have to see" about later. I'm on pins-and-needles wondering what she's going to decide and it's not so much that that she might want to wait, she's done that before and, looking back, she knew it turned me on when her period would finish late and she was with Dan first. This time it's different if she says it's what she would rather. It’s her making the choice instead of it being made for her. My cock is hard either way; the real question for the moment is who is going to relieve it, me or her?!


She played coy all night long till we got ready for bed. I thought she was surely sending me a message when she climbed in with her panties still on.

Once we got in we turned the TV on and got cozy and I started to check out what her reaction would be with one hand and she let me roam over her. I rolled to my side next to her and pulled her shirt up and she rolled in my direction and started to squeeze me. That went on for a few moment until I pushed her panties down and started to play with her pussy. I could feel she was very wet but just as I was about to start ‘probing’ she was stroking me away and just as I was about to start she pushed me back and said, "maybe we should just watch each other tonight?"

I understood what she was saying and at that moment I was too horny to say anything. She moved my hand to my cock and she really started playing with her pussy but she kept watching me and specifically my hand.

It seemed like she was orgasming right away. Sshe had 2 and then 3 fingers inside her and, damn, at the sight of that I was almost there too.

That was when she surprised me, before she seemed to even come down from her orgasm she pulled her fingers out and said, "I want you now." I didn't need to be asked twice, I rolled right onto and into her and literally it was a moment or 2 later that she locked her legs around me and as she came a second time I shot off too.

Later on she giggled that she ‘really had me going there...’ I looked at her and she said, "it looked like you were enjoying maybe not having me." A moment later she giggled and said, "maybe one day...”

I didn't respond and just told her that she was great and that I loved her but I do know that she'll now wait till Friday night. I also asked her about joining her again and she smiled and said as she left this morning, "mmmm, that might be nice .... let me make sure".


She changed things up last night too.

Normally Wednesday night is when I have my own fun time, check out some good porn, do some fantasizing, read some stories and jerk off till I explode thinking about her.

But last night I started to suggest that I was going to go have my fun she said I should stay with her in the bedroom. At first I thought she was suggesting that we'd have sex which would be truly something new. Instead she almost excitedly said, "I want to watch you tonight!”

I told her that I'd like some ‘stimulation’ and she said something like, "Okay, do you want me or do you want the computer?” She didn't say it in a bad way, it was a general offer. She knows what kind of porn I like to surf to on the web.

I told her, "well, if you're offering to take off those panties?"

She giggled, "okay just for tonight".

I felt like a teenager again with my first girlfriend when she would finally relent and undress for me. It was always so exciting seeing her pull off her panties and this seemed just like that; like it was a treat for me to see my wife's pussy! It felt like it'd been ages. Somehow that thin layer of cotton just does things to me.

She lay back against the headboard and pulled her knees back and apart for me and she started to talk to me too! Damn, did that get me horny, between staring at her wetness and hearing (or trying to hear/focus) on what she was saying.

I love masturbating in front of her when she's in this kind of mood. She'll do all sorts of things and let me watch as long as I keep on stroking. She loves to see the pre-cum dribbling out knowing how horny I am.

As she lay there she reached down and spread herself wide open for me; wide and open enough that I could see all the way up inside her and how wet she was. I love to see her pussy clench down and close up as she rubs her clit knowing that's what she does to my (or Dan's cock) in her.

It was what she was saying that really turned me on, she told me how she loved it when she was naked around Dan and how she'd do this same thing for him. I swear my cock felt like it would explode when she said (and I don't know if she said it on purpose or by accident) that Dan loves seeing way up in ‘his pussy’ and she just kept going referring to him and didn't even stop or correct what she'd said but it was when she started to tell me how she loves to fuck him that it started to really get me close. She told me how comfortable she was with him sexually and that she loved to see how it turned me on to know that but when she started telling me how she loves fucking him and asking me if I, "could tell that from watching them", I could barely say ‘yes’ in reply.

I do love masturbating in front of her; actually it doesn't matter who as I've always let my girlfriends watch since back in high-school. When I know I'm getting close it really turns me on to know that she wants to watch as I start to squirt.

This time she wasn't masturbating though (that would have set me off really quickly if she'd had her dildo out or something) but instead she was gently rubbing at her clit as she talked and teased me. She must have known I was close because that was when she leaned over closer and started to tell me how she loves when Dan cums in her. I knew I was going to go off soon from how she was so close next to me now and that she'd stopped playing with herself and was just talking to me sensually. My eyes were closed as I just listened to her. She told me how he seems to cum a lot and how she feels all warm inside when he does. Then she asked me in that same sexy sensual voice, "tell me again how you liked watching it" (meaning him cumming in her).

I told her, "it was really intense" and she said, "it turned me on too knowing you were watching." She asked, "did you like watching?"

I tried to say ‘yes’ as I let loose all over my chest, stomach and with the last spurts dripping off my hands and fingers she squealed as she watched my cock throbbing as I squeezed the last few drops out.

When I opened my eyes she was still laying right next to me, she wasn't masturbating but she did have her legs clamped tightly together and she was sort of rocking back and forth a bit. She looked up at me with this big smile and I felt so close to her at that moment. I looked at my hand with my cum still dripping and I didn't even think twice as I just brought my hand up to my mouth and licked it off. She moaned at that (as I said, I know she was turned on) and then she started scraping the stuff off my chest and stomach with her fingers and putting it in my mouth until most of it was cleaned up.

As we lay there after I cleaned up a bit more in the bathroom she again came close to me and said, "thank you, I love watching you."

I said, "me too".

As we were getting ready to watch some TV before going to sleep I took the opportunity to ask her about Friday night and she said that Dan was okay with me joining them, that he'd answered that in an Email earlier yesterday. She added that maybe I could go home but she could stay a little longer afterwards than last time. She looked at me with the puppy-dog eyes and said that he was going to be going back to California for the Memorial Day weekend and "soooo I may go back to see him on Saturday if that's okay with you?".

I said it would be okay as long as she was back in the afternoon sometime and she said, "of course".

It was a few minutes into the Tonight Show when I thought about it some more and I had to ask her, "What does that mean for me Friday night; am I going to get to have you?"

I had suddenly realized what she was saying and what it meant. If she was going to stay with him afterwards and then go back to him on Saturday, was I not going to get to fuck her?!

She put her finger across my mouth and hushed me and just said, "let’s see what happens. Things were fine how they worked out last time, okay?”

So, I'm still not sure about what is and what isn't going to happen tomorrow night and I may not know till then but, hey, after that huge intense orgasm last night I admit that I’m excited about either possibility.


Suzanna just left about 20 minutes ago to go back to Dan's. She was very apologetic to me before she left and promised profusely to ‘make it up to me later’.

What she wants to make up for is what happened, or rather, didn't happen last night.

I was in a great mood when I left work hoping for another pleasurable, exciting and arousing evening of fun exploring the boundaries of our sexual fun. We explored, but, at least for me, some of the pleasure is delayed till she gets home today.

I arranged to meet them like usual, maybe a bit later than in the past, about 8pm at the bar they hang out at but I got there a little later than usual and it was more crowded so they didn't see me right away.

I stayed on the other side of the room and watched them for a while and they did truly look like boyfriend/girlfriend which did turn me on. They were making out for a while as they had some drinks and Suzanna was sitting on his lap at other times. Some of Dan's friends were talking to them apparently treating them like the couple they seemed to be. This didn't really bother me; it was exciting to see them kissing as they were (funny how I've gotten used to that over the past few months) and I suppose this is truly how they are when I'm not there.

I went over to them about a half-hour later (I guess it must have been after 9pm by then) and Suzanna was a bit tipsy and came over to me and hugged and kissed me. She dragged me over to sit with them at their table and Dan was cordial and flagged down the waitress for another round of drinks.

Suzanna seemed to have tamed their ardour for each other in the bar and I'm thinking because of how I felt last time she wasn't quite so overboard with Dan. Still, she made no secret of being with him including openly kissing and hugging him. I danced with her a few times and she thanked me " for being so great about it all” and asked indirectly if it was turning me on. I told her yes and she could feel my hard-on in my pants. I was a bit surprised at how open she was with Dan at other times though. I know that if I saw it, that others did too and there were several times where I saw Dan's hands all over her on the dance-floor and off the dance-floor. I definitely saw several times that Dan had his hands all over her including under her top grabbing at her tits and also under her skirt but after each time she'd come over to me and make it seem as if nothing was wrong. She knew from my reactions that I was turned on.

It wasn't until we went back to Dan’s place about 11pm that I realized that the night wasn't going to go as I'd hoped.


So what happened at Dan’s?

We got to his place and as I expected, as Dan made us some drinks, Suzanna did her usual and got undressed. We all sat around his living room/den and again she was the only one undressed but this time she did put on one of his dress-shirts and only buttoned one or 2 buttons.

They sat on the couch together and I sat across from them. We talked and drank and Dan flipped the TV on and we watched the Tonight Show or at least I watched it. When I looked back at them they were already starting with each other and seemed to have forgotten that I was even there. Suzanna had undone his pants and was pulling on his cock. That was hot but seeing his fingers in her pussy was even more arousing, especially when she leaned forward to suck him.

They were talking with each other but I couldn't hear what they were saying until a moment later they got up and said they were going upstairs. Dan went up but Suzanna came up to me still wearing his shirt but now fully unbuttoned and she kissed me and said, "how about you come up in a few minutes and let us get started first?". I smiled at that still thinking positively.

I went up a few minutes later and sure enough, they were already started. He was naked and they were sort of in a 69 position.

I do love how open and comfortable they are with each other, there's something that just turns me on seeing her so sexual like that much like the same feeling I get watching her masturbate. I love seeing her so sexual even if it is with him.

He was very at home between her legs. It really doesn't seem to bother me at how intimate they get with each other including watching him devour her pussy while she eagerly sucked his cock.

I did kind of feel like a 3rd-wheel so I pretty much stood in the doorway and only came in when Suzanna pulled her mouth away and motioned to me to come over to them. While Dan continued to have his fun between her legs I sat on the bed next to them and she asked, in between her moans, if I'd just watch them. I started to get the feeling that was all I might be doing from how she said it but I was still excited about it.

After a few more minutes of this she actually moved around and kissed me and told me to, "watch for a little longer" and then added, and I remember this specifically, "you know you want to".

With that she moved around and again I was maybe a couple of feet or so from her as she simply climbed up on top of him. I was at the foot of the bed and watched as she took his cock and rubbed it all around her wet pussy and then she pointed it right into her and she started to slide down onto it. I watched from behind her as she reached down and spread herself open and then I watched his cock just slip into her.

That is probably the most erotic sight ever, to see her eager pussy swallow him like that. Maybe the only thing more arousing was to see her pull up and him almost out of her and to see how glistening wet his cock looked knowing it was her juices on him!

I remember being motionless watching this unfold; I just didn't want to disturb them. Not that they could hear me over their moans and the slippery squishing sounds coming from her wet pussy. Watching his cock slide in and out of her was very intense and I moved so I could actually see better and I could see her own fingers on her clit and I knew she wanted to cum on him.

A few moments later she got her reward and she let out a shriek grinding herself onto him as she thrashed about turning herself back and forth. There wasn't much I could see as she was straight upright as she worked herself into a frenzy but then as she peaked she leaned forward pressing her breasts against his chest and I could see that he was still really hard and deep in her. I could also plainly see that she'd cum as there was this thicker, whiter creamy stuff all over his cock and all over her now spread wide pussy. It wasn't Dan’s cum, it was definitely Suzanna’s.

I felt great at that moment, knowing I'd seen her experience that kind of pleasure. Part of me wanted to reach over and caress her but again, I just didn't want to disturb the zone they were in.

I don't know how long they lay like that and, honestly, I could have sat there for hours looking at his fat cock still inside her! She used to sometimes lie in bed at night with a dildo just sitting in her pussy, not even moving it, and that always turned me on but this was like that on steroids. Something about seeing it clearly in front of me; knowing he could feel every movement through his cock.

After a while, they started to move and Suzanna slid up and off of him and that was another erotic sight, seeing his still stiff cock come slipping out of her and, even more so, seeing her pussy gaping open when she did so. As if it was going to wait, open like that, to be re-filled.

She moved onto her back and smiled at me but Dan never really looked at me or acknowledged me. Instead he knelt between her legs and she responded to him by pulling her legs back and apart. How freaking erotic is that sight, to see your wife spread herself like that for her lover? Her vagina opened up again as if it were calling him. He put a little lubricant on his cock and then he put some on his fingers and he put them in her and spread some inside her!

A moment later his cock replaced his fingers and within seconds it seemed, they were into an intense fuck. She wrapped her legs around his back and he started to go at her. From how she'd arched her back, he had full access to her and again, I found myself almost rooting for him to make her cum again like I was a spectator in a sporting event or something.

Cum she did as she started to buck up against him each time he'd plunge into her until her head started thrashing back and forth under him.

I wasn't really ready for what he did next but he did something where he reached under her arms and he actually held her hands tightly on both sides of her head (her arms were bent) such that she couldn't move. It was very intense to see her being held almost motionless as he fucked her to another orgasm. I could see her eyes wide open but seemed to be in a haze as she reached her climax. She was struggling against his hold at first but as she orgasmed, her whole body then seemed to calm down and he let go of her hands.

Here's where the evening turned though, he still hadn't cum and he pulled out of her as she lay there. I won't say his cock looked huge or anything like that but seeing this big hard cock come sliding out of her well fucked pussy was incredibly erotic. He said something to the effect of, "be right back" and he went into the bathroom.

At first I thought it was going to be my turn and I almost started to get undressed, after all, she was just lying there catching her breath with her well lubricated and now well fucked pussy lying there spread open, but instead she leaned up a bit and motioned to me with her hand. I moved to her she said as she caught her breath, "are you going to be okay just watching?" and then she said something like "Dan doesn't want you with me in his bed". Before I could say anything else she added that it, "might not work out for you (meaning me) for tonight". I knew at that moment what she was saying as she added, "you know, with me coming back tomorrow and all that?”

She looked to me for a reaction and I was sort of hurt at first but then the whole scene just seemed to me. I mean this was all of maybe 30 seconds. I looked at her lying there in the dim light and she looked so beautiful even if she was "just for him’, she still looked really beautiful. She touched my face and I leaned down and kissed her and she whispered,"I'm sorry, but I think maybe you'll be okay with it, won't you?" She seemed to know that despite the surprise and really not being given a choice that I was simply going to accept it. She whispered, "I love you so much" and pulled me in for another kiss.

How could I say or do anything different? I think in that moment if she just said, "you are a cuckold" I would have accepted that from that point on I probably just be watching. It hadn't totally registered that I wasn't going to have her when she got home later; that it wouldn't be till later.

As we heard the toilet flushing she held my hand and looked at me with the most sultry deep look in her eyes and said, "can I ask you to do something for me?” At that moment I probably would have done anything she asked so I nodded yes. She said, "I want you to watch him cum in me again, will you do that?” All I could do was nod as I heard the bathroom door open. I moved away from her as Dan approached from the other side of the room. He smiled at me. In my head I thought it was from him seeing me moving away from her, giving her back to him. Maybe it was.

He knelt between her legs and once again she pulled them back for him only this time, I knew it was for my benefit too. A moment later he was plunging into her and I had moved back into my observation position.

The action was much quicker this time, it was seemingly all Dan's pleasure this time as Suzanna simply let him have her as he wanted. She held her own legs back for him and even reached down and pulled herself open even wider for him. Seeing his balls slapping on her ass I knew she was letting him have all of her and, damn, my cock was hard and I could feel my underwear getting wet from the pre-cum that must have been gushing out of me.

The thing was, I wanted to watch him. There was this feeling I had seeing him so deep in her as I felt like a sports-fan rooting for his team. In my head Suzanna was every porn actress I'd ever seen eagerly wanting their man to fuck them. I knew they weren't going to last long and sure enough after maybe a few minutes I just knew from how he and they were moving that he was close. Crazy as it sounds, I moved a bit closer until I was almost between both of their legs. Seeing her pussy lips clinging to him as he'd pull out and then seeing him crash his body back into her was intense enough. A moment later I could tell from the change in how he was moving that he was close. He pushed deeply into her and grunted.

I didn't need to hear him though, from my position I saw his balls tense up and draw upward and I could see him cumming in her; I swear I could almost see each spurt travel up that thick tube in his cock into her. What a moment!! Strangely all I felt was intense excitement and intense arousal; there was nothing negative at all, just a wild turn on knowing what was happening.

(Last night she asked me to describe that moment to her and she said she loved how I seemed to feel about it).

Then, almost as soon as it started, they were done. I had this strange ‘satisfied’ feeling seeing them lying together still connected and seeing the beginnings of his cum begin to appear around his cock still in her. I felt so proud of her at that moment and I loved being there for her, sharing it.

A few minutes later he moved off of her and I had the most beautiful picture that cuckold can imagine (and at that moment confirmed that I do love being a cuckold) Dan went back to the bathroom to get a washcloth to clean them up with but Suzanna just stay there lying back on the bed, eyes closed, legs lewdly spread. All I could think was that just 2 years ago she felt so embarrassed and even grossed out to lie like that and now she clearly felt nothing like that. Her pussy was spread apart, legs gently bent, eyes closed. Her nipples were still hard as she breathed heavily and with each breath, a little more of his cum came dribbling out of her.

I almost went in to take a lick of her as she looked that beautiful but I was mindful of it being Dan's bedroom. Before he came out of the bathroom, I moved up to the head of the bed and kissed her. Her eyes fluttered open and she said, "I love you" and after I kissed her she said, "I hope you are okay."

I was quiet and she just said, "how about if I see you downstairs in a few minutes?” I took the hint and left the bedroom. I heard them talking as I walked downstairs.

Sure enough a few minutes later she came downstairs. She was still naked and now, outside his bedroom, she smelled like sex. She hugged me and just said, "we're not done" and she said that she would be staying a while longer and that it might be better if I headed home.

I smiled and said that I'd be waiting for her eagerly and that was when she said it, "Baby, you know I'm coming back tomorrow morning." She added that was what they'd just talked about, that he'd asked her to not let me cum in her until after she would come home on Saturday.

I think I knew this was going to happen all along as it didn't seem totally surprising to me. I kissed her and hugged her and begrudgingly said, "okay" and that was when she started to promise to ‘make it up’ to me.

We broke our kiss and she giggled. It took me a second to see what she was doing. As we kissed, apparently a trickle of cum ran down one of her thighs and she wiped it up and licked her finger as she kissed me again (I could taste the cum on her lips) and said she'd see me home later.

I guess I was more disappointed than hurt. On the way home I remembered that the last time, they'd already fucked one time before they even went to the bar and that I'd had her after their second fuck of the night but this time, that had been the first one so I knew that as I drove home they were surely having their second fuck of the night.


I really don't remember much of the ride home other than I was still horny. When I got home I couldn't decide what to do, go to bed or stay up? Masturbate and relieve this wicked case of blue-balls or wait?

The kids were long asleep but I didn't want to make any noise so I just sat out on the front-porch listening to the sounds in the distance. I don't know how long I sat there but I thought about the fact that I'd left her there with Dan. I thought about what she'd said, that I was going to be okay with waiting for her and the more I thought about it, the more I knew she was right. The longer I sat the hornier and hornier I got thinking about waiting for her.

Looking back it seems strange but as I sat there early Saturday morning I actually got more turned on knowing I'd be waiting till she returned. All sorts of things ran through my head as I sat there thinking until the text message from her at 1:18am said she was on her way. it said, "On my way now. Wait up for me? Luv."

I went up to the bedroom and waited for her till she came in just before 2am.

At first it was strange to see her dressed. She was naked when I left her as was she in my mind for the past 2 or so hours. She was very hesitant at first until she saw I wasn't raging mad or anything. She sat next to me on the bed and hugged me and told me how she loved me and that's when she pulled back from me and said, "I’m doing this because you said you wanted me to. Is that what you want?"

She said more but I was stuck on what she had said and I just held her and kissed her and pulled her to me and said in her ear, "I'm okay about waiting till tomorrow. But I am really going to want you by then!”

She giggled and then kissed me and again profusely promised to ‘make it up to me’. I was pretty tired anyway but, nevertheless, I lay there in bed and watched her get undressed. I wasn't surprised when she left her panties on before she went into the bathroom to wash up. They were still on when she came back out and got into bed.

We really didn't talk much more about it other than that she told me several times how wonderful she felt. That didn't really help me though because while she was asleep in a matter of minutes, I lay there still nursing what remained of my hard-on.

For as okay as I thought I was about everything when we went to bed I can't say that I woke up feeling the same way. I was annoyed to say the least that she was running back to him and I started to say something about it and that was what led her to the whole apologetic thing again before she left.

The thing was she really did want to go back to his place on Saturday. It wasn't so much how she said things but the way she seemed to be. I kept on thinking that maybe my being there had cramped their style a bit as Dan seemed pretty quiet. I guess that's the cuck in me though.

When she got up with me Saturday morning just before 9 she was out of bed quickly and still had the panties on. I was in the bathroom with her as we brushed and washed and stuff and I started to mess with her a bit and she seemed to start to respond but then turned and just said, "come on, we agreed, right?". She turned back to the mirror, "just think how much fun you'll have with me later". I know she felt my hard-on pressing against her butt through her panties but she kept them on including teasing me about, "you have to wait".

So I did.


Deep down I know that I should have known what was going to happen. Looking back on it, I can even say that I wanted it to happen.

I know it bothered me Saturday morning, it even hurt a bit, but at the same time knowing she was going back to fuck him some more was such an intense turn-on. Seeing her walking out after kissing me goodbye was something I wanted to feel. She was right to tell me that it was what I wanted.

I kept busy while she was away but she was home by maybe 2-2:30pm, I didn't even know she was home till I saw her in the doorway. I went in and followed her up to the bedroom. Our son was long gone with his girlfriend and our ******** was busy with her last school project for the year.

There weren't any tears but it was an emotional reunion. I hadn't realized how I'd felt until I held her in my arms. She knew I didn't want to wait, especially with the kids gone or busy. We lay on the bed and she apologized again for leaving but she also reminded me that Dan would be gone over the holiday weekend. That would be nice to look forward to.

She said something about getting cleaned up first but I didn't let her get up and she soon realized I wanted her just as she was. I felt like I was unwrapping a Christmas present not knowing what was inside but knowing it was something I wanted. I wasn't disappointed. There is something about looking at her knowing she's had sex with someone else; she knows it too. I unclipped her bra and felt her breasts. She playfully resisted at first as I took her panties off but then she gave in and I felt a rush revealing her naked body for myself this time.

She was wet and open and warm and swollen. As I ran my hands all over her she started to tell me that she'd been a ‘bad girl’ and that she'd let ‘some other man’ have her. I told her that I knew and she giggled that ‘I sure did, didn't I?’

My cock was out and throbbing in her hand as she said something like, "oh yeah, you were there. You watched didn't you?”

I was really horny and as she pulled on my cock I had my fingers in her pussy. I remember trying to focus on her but what she was saying was getting to me. She was moaning as she felt me really respond. I don't think I was at all in control of myself, she just had me going. I know she said at one point, "... tell me how you liked watching, you know, watching him cum in me".

I know that's her big moment, that she doesn't really consider sex really complete without me, or Dan or whoever, cum in her at the end. She says she can feel it, that even from the first time she could almost always feel it. I hesitated for a bit but then, well, I was horny so I started to just talk about how turned on I was watching her. I told her that I loved watching her cum like she does and she giggled at that and said she was happy to know I felt that way.

I knew that if I started talking about what she wanted, that I wouldn't be lasting very long so I worked my way up to it by way of how beautiful she was and how horny I was. Until finally I did come out and tell her how erotic it was watching Dan cum. It was erotic - even now when I think about it I'm getting hard already - and I told her so. I told her that hearing her squeal as she does with me, knowing she could feel him in her was a big turn on for me.

She teased me by asking me if I thought I was ready for her but instead I told her that I hoped she was ready for me! She again giggled and said that we were going to have some fun finding out, weren't we?

A minute later I was on top of her slipping into her well-used pussy. I won’t say she was any wetter or messier than I've had her before but when I closed my eyes and let my mind wander a bit, my god, she felt incredible as we found our rhythm.

I was so horny that I found myself trying to control how turned on I was; I just wanted it to last. It felt like a warm envelope that gently surrounded me everywhere. She pulled me gently with her legs behind my back and at the same time she started to encourage me to ‘take what I wanted’.

I started to get pretty frantic myself as I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Then she started to tell me that I should think about her having sex 4 times in the last 24 hours with Dan and that really got to me. I thought about him having her 4 times and maybe even cumming in her all 4 times and man did that set me off in her. It felt like lava flowing out of me and, as she does, she squealed away as I thrust into her over and over. Even though she'd surely had her orgasms with Dan, it felt good that we could still share one together (or almost together).


After her nap after our fun yesterday afternoon we went out to a nice, even romantic dinner without the kids (our ******** wanted Wendys and our son never showed up). She said several times over dinner that she was sorry if she'd hurt me by what she'd done. I smiled and told her that she was right but I did ask her to do it. Over a glass of wine after dinner she asked me if I was sorry I asked her to do it. I thought it over for a bit and told her honestly, "no".

I was, however, very surprised when after we came home from dinner, she asked me if I wanted another ‘round in the hay’ I told her I was surprised and she giggled and said if I was smart I should take advantage of the moment!

Even today, she's still all bubbly and bouncing around the house and garden. Even the rainy cool weather didn't keep her spirits down. She even asked me if I was horny at all tonight and I honestly answered her that, no, tonight was one night I could definitely take a rain-check on.

So that's it; I've encouraged her to go further and now I don't really have a right to complain. Not that I'm complaining though as I don't at all feel like there's jeopardy to ‘us’. Matter of fact, in some ways, I think we feel even closer in that it seems easier to just talk about anything now.


I guess I am at a crossroads of sorts and will have the next week or two to sort things out a bit more. I can say that after this past weekend, I do feel truly cuckolded and in the process to realising this I have to add that Suzanna hasn't hurt me at all. It is true, I did ask for this and I am not sorry that I did.

I fully understand that she does now truly look forward to her time with Dan and I know now it is no longer just done for me. I do believe at first she did a lot of this for me but, now, I am sure she would miss the passion. In fact, I can honestly say that I don't know if she would stop if I said I wanted her to.

Another thing I think is that I don't believe it would be the end of the world for us if we did have sex on Friday night and I came in her. I don't even know if Dan would notice, and I seriously doubt that it would be a reason for him to not want to have sex with her!

At the same time, hearing her say that she'd ‘rather not’ be with me and that she wants to go back to being with him, just hearing her say that and mean it is something that just touches me deep inside and leaves me with the most intense sexual desire and arousal. I can't explain it but I know that to hear her say that is something that drives me wild with desire and arousal. I can't describe it any other way other than knowing she wants to be with another man just sets me off.

I hope I've been careful to at least guide the genie I've let out of the lamp. I do believe she will never hurt me in any serious way but at the same time I do want her to do more; I cannot lie about that any longer. Seeing her wearing those panties; knowing her pussy lay beneath them, out of sight for me; knowing that deeper inside her that she was walking around with his cum in her on top of it all; knowing she was lying next to me in bed like that is enough to make me burst right now.

I don't know if I can really be with them all that often. I feel like a voyeur in some ways. Yet in others my being present does make me a part of it and holding her hand or even just making eye contact with her was nice and enjoyable.

I do love seeing her having sex. Whether it's alone or with me or with someone else she is beautiful when she lets herself go crazy and I love giving her the opportunity to experience that.


One of the things we've been talking about is exactly what Dan is thinking through all of this. I asked Suzanna what exactly she's told Dan and what he thinks of me and what is going on.

She first said that for Dan, this is one of his ‘longest relationships’. Since his divorce he's rarely been with the same woman for longer periods. It's almost 10 months now that they've been seeing each other and from what she said, the longest before her was only maybe 2-3 months. I asked her what that meant and she said something to the effect that she's the first woman that has kept the relationship in its place and not wanted more. Apparently the other women, married and unmarried (he's taken married women out before), have all wanted something more from him than he was willing to give.

That wasn't really where I had wanted that conversation to go but I went with it at the time. What I got out of it is that since his divorce, he swears he has no desire to be ‘married’ again. Based on this, Suzanna is purely just a ‘fuck-buddy’ and I asked her that, not using those words specifically, but in general and she said, "well, he DOES care about me!” I told her of course he cares about you and I explained to her that hearing her tell me that again (she's told me how he feels in the past is probably one of the reasons I ‘came out’ to her as I did) is that I don't feel threatened by him.

I used that to bring the conversation back to the whole ‘what is he thinking’ thing. I told her that I wondered what his friends must think of our whole relationship and that I wanted to better understand what she'd told him and what he was thinking. I alluded to the ‘discomfort’ I had felt in the bar that one time but also in general, that with both him and his friends, that I didn't know how I was being perceived.

She said again that ‘he's dated married women’ and that most of his friends are good with that. They do know that she and I are husband and wife and at the same time, they know that she fucks Dan. Beyond that she said that they treat her okay and don't seem to have any issues. She said the guys apparently think it's cool that she's able to be with me and Dan. She then said (and maybe this explains it a bit more) that most of the women who hang at the bar with them have, in the past, slept with Dan and that some of them are now ‘with’ some of the guys (‘with’ meaning dating or even married). So I guess Dan may have some sort of legendary prowess with women. I've even thought at times that perhaps they were swingers in the past as there seems to be a different camaraderie between them all than I'm used to.

About me, all she said was that the guys don't fully get it but seem to understand that I'm okay with her fucking him. She said the women seem to get it and she even thinks some of them are envious of her and they think I'm a generous guy in the sense of not feeling like I have to own or control Suzanna to be sure of our relationship.

That still left Dan so I asked her again what he thought. She hesitated a bit before she started to tell me indeed, she actually had to look away when she started to talk. She said he thinks I am crazy to want her to be with him in the first place but that over the 10 months they've been seeing each other, that he's learned that I do enjoy knowing what is going on. He thought it strange at first but now he's used to that part. However, he doesn't know how to relate to me which is much about how I feel about him. He feels equally weird in trying to see me as a friend despite that he likes me and thinks I'm an okay guy. When it comes to Suzanna, like me, he finds it difficult to be open about it.

I asked her what he thinks when I've been there the past few times they've been together. She said that she really had to convince him to let me be there and she even said she played the ‘husband card’ that I ‘should’ be there if I want to be. Apparently once he saw that I truly was genuine about wanting them to be passionate together that he relaxed. He said at first he did feel weird about being nude around me, especially aroused at Suzanna and then being physical with her, but that he seems to have gotten used to that to the point where he actually enjoys it now. She said that her being naked most of the times also made him feel more comfortable in that way too.

I asked her if she still likes that feeling as she'd put it of being ‘all his’. She said it again just as she's said it since it started with Peter, that she loves being undressed when she's with him. She says it heightens her arousal to know that she is fully ******* for him and that she likes the feeling of knowing he can see and have all of her if he wants. As she put it, “I like him to see me all of me”.

So then I asked the pointed questions. Does Dan feel like a ‘Dom’? (I didn't use that term as I don't think Suzanna knows that.) She said that initially he was a bit tentative but more recently and since my big ‘coming out’ and what she told him of that he does seem to now be wanting more from her physically. I had to laugh at that and told her ‘that was obvious’. I asked her if she felt that she wanted to give him more as in being more submissive. She was quiet at that question at first and then answered with something to the effect that she is enjoying their sex much more since I came-out to her, something like that since she shared what I'd said with Dan, that they seem to be more in sync and that she definitely is enjoying it more.

I asked Suzanna how she herself felt about all of this, what I'd opened up about and what she's now doing and thinking, etc.

She was very candid with me; it's kind of refreshing that she now feels comfortable talking about this stuff. She said that in the 2+ years we've been at this, that she's now become very comfortable having sex with other people. She even admitted to regretting having waited so long to try it out!

I asked her what she liked so much as I do give her plenty of sexual satisfaction and she said that is just different being with another guy. She said openly that she feels she can let herself go so much more easily with another guy. She basically said that when we (her and I) have sex, that it is physical, mental and emotional and that she can't ever separate all of them. She said plainly that the sex we have is still really incredibly good, maybe even better than even just a few years ago.

She then added that the sex she has with Dan is also really good but in a different way. She says she is much more focused on the physical and that it isn't so much that it's Dan but more that it isn't me.

We talked about what I'd remembered from when we first started dating and I reminded her that I knew she was fucking other guys and what I remember most was that when we did fuck that it was very physical and that SHE wanted to cum and that was what was most important to her at the time.

She giggled and said she'd forgotten some of that but that what I'd said was true that, as we fell in love, she is unable to separate that from the physical part of sex with me. She said that the issues of the day be it me not cleaning up around the house, the kids needing this or that, or whatever that it is all part of us having sex. When she's with Dan or whoever, that she has none of that. She made no bones about being clear that this is definitely a part of why she looks forward to having sex with Dan , that she can just, as she put it, "get naked and fuck".

Now all of this wasn't one-sided. It wasn't all just me asking and her telling, a lot of it was 2-way but I've put down what I can pick out of side of it for now. The other parts were what she'd asked me and what my side was.

She asked me lots of questions mostly focused around whether I was happy with what I'd started and, more-so, with what she'd been doing. I was honest with her and I told her that outside of the awkwardness in the bar and my uncertainty at how things worked at Dan’s place that otherwise I loved what she was doing.

She smiled at that and said that she ‘was trying’ to do things that she thought would turn me on. I told her that she was learning well and that, to use a work term, ‘liked her initiative’. She giggled at that and I asked her how she felt about doing stuff like she was, teasing me and such. She said it felt weird at first but that more recently she's begun to see that I do truly get pleasure out of what we're doing "even when we're not doing anything!", as she put it.

I told her that I felt a lot of angst when she left Saturday morning but that it was really just my own selfishness and once I got over that I told her that the idea that she wanted to go back to her boyfriend for more was incredibly arousing. She said that Dan loved her coming back (as if I couldn't have guessed that!)

When we were talking about how she was when we first met, her with other guys, I told her again how even way back then, it turned me on that she was still fucking other guys. She giggled and said it was a good thing I didn't tell her that back then! She then asked me what about it turned me on so I just let it out, I told her that back then, as now, that it turned me on to know that other guys were seeing her naked body, seeing the parts that were supposed to be ‘private’. I told her that it turned me on to know that not only were they fucking her, but that they were cumming in her too (she was on the pill back then) and I confessed that when we were together, that one of the turn-ons when we had sex was that other guys had been in her too.

I don't think she fully realized all of that or maybe not so clearly until when I told her this the other night. She was quiet for a minute and then just said that she never realized that this turned me on so much. From how she looked and how her demeanour changed after hearing that, I think this was something that may have finally explained things to her. She was quiet for a moment but then asked me, "is that what turns you on when you're there with me and Dan?”

I nodded yes but she wanted me to tell her more. So I swallowed deep and said that it excited me a lot to see her with Dan. She was all ears so I just told her that I get very horny when I see her openly sexual, letting her innermost desires out to be seen. I told her that other than the awkward stuff in the bar, that I loved seeing her being seduced; that she got a look on her face and that her whole physical behaviour pretty much changes when she lets herself go like that.

She asked me if I was finally feeling more comfortable with her kissing Dan (she knew I had expressed concerns about that back with Peter ) so I just told her that I was now okay with it and that seeing her in a deep embrace with him was now a rather erotic sight for me. She smiled at that and said that was good and that I shouldn't have been concerned about that even back with Peter. I told her that just as she's changed since back then so have I.

As we talked more comfortably, she asked me more about how I felt when I was with her vs. when I'd be waiting home for her. She laughed out loud when I told her that it feels like a ‘first date’ every time I'm home waiting for her, especially when I explained how I never know what I’ll find beneath her clothes, etc. She giggled that she knew that I liked finding what was beneath her panties but she wanted to know more about how I felt when I was there with them.

I paused for a minute not sure what to say. I told her that sometimes I felt like a voyeur or that I was an outsider spying on them. She asked if I ‘liked watching’ and I told her ‘of course I did’ and added that I really liked to feel I was more of a part of it even if it was just her looking at me, winking or even holding my hand.

She told me that she liked me being there like that too and even said that she thinks she enjoys it even more knowing I am there with her watching her. I told her that she looks beautiful when she's experiencing passion and pleasure like that. She seemed genuinely happy that I liked being there with her but was a little hesitant when she finally asked me, "do you really like being there?"

It took me a moment to realize what she was asking so I just came out and said it, that I did like watching as they fucked. Her smile as I said that gave me the courage to tell her that it was incredibly intense to see Dan enjoying her body and to see him actually pushing himself into her. She seemed to be all ears so I just let it go and told her that seeing her share her pussy like that.

It seemed the more I talked, the more she smiled and seemed to glow. So I just told her that seeing her spread her legs and seeing her pussy open up for him was something that just drove me crazy. Her eyes opened wider when I just said, "seeing him get into you where only I used to go drives me crazy with desire".

I swear she seemed to almost orgasm as I said that. She told me how she loved how he feels in her and she made it a point to tell me how she likes to feel him fill her, "like you do". That was my turn to smile and I told her that seeing her pushing herself at him was incredible and that made her reply that she loved feeling him hold her hips as he did. It was quite an intense conversation for a few minutes as she told me that she loved feeling ‘his passion’ in her and then she looked at me and said so calmly that, "I love feeling him finally cum in me" that it was like this really connected moment between us and I just looked at her and told her how I too loved that moment.

She smiled and said she was concerned about me then. I just told her that it was really a beautiful thing to see and that in some ways I loved knowing just what Dan was probably feeling. Then I looked at her and said that, "I almost came myself when I watched him being so close".

She giggled and squealed at that and said, "tell me more" so I just looked at her and kissed her and told her that I loved seeing him cum in her. She seemed to really want to hear this so I kept going and told her that even I could now tell when he was going to cum and I told her that I even felt myself rooting for him to do it.

As I talked I noticed she was rubbing her legs together, whether consciously or not, as if what I was telling her was making her hot, so I kept going. I told her that seeing him hold her hips (if she's on top) or him plunge into her at the end and then to hear his ‘grunt’ knowing he was cumming in her that I had to ‘not touch myself’ or I'd burst! Hearing me confess that made her laugh out loud!

She seemed to really be touched by how I felt about being there as their passions climaxed. I told her that she looked even better than the porn I enjoy on the web (she knows what I like to look at). She giggled when I said that she seemed much more relaxed ‘after sex’ and she agreed that all of what's happened has made her think differently about her body and how she looks afterwards. As I'd mentioned she used to be almost disgusted by how she looked after she and I would have sex, never being comfortable in remaining open/******* afterwards. I told her that she'd ‘really changed"’ and she blushed at that. She looked at me and at that moment, pulled me to her and hugged and kissed me.

She actually said, "thank you".

I said that I didn't understand what exactly she was thanking me for; she said, "thank you for encouraging me to enjoy myself".


Aw Snap, need to get a new book!