Journal of a Journey - Book Forty

With Suzanna away I had no reason to rush home so I did some holiday shopping after work. It was a kind of an odd feeling to be shopping for gifts for her given where she is right now but that feeling passed and I actually found some nice things.

I'm feeling a little angsty but not sorry or feeling unhappy at what's going on though. That much I truly feel about it, like knowing she's doing something she wants and it definitely turns me on that he's going to be fucking her all weekend.

I suppose if I’m honest what I feel is a bit of loneliness. I knew it would be like this tonight until I have to go pick up my ******** about 10:30pm but it does give me time to think a bit and, yes, get horny about it.

It does seem strange and in retrospect, totally bizarre but I genuinely don't mind her fucking other guys. I read of other folks who have relationships where it does bother them but I look at it (and I think Suzanna does too) as just a part of our relationship. While it's no longer something private between just her and me, that loss has been accompanied by something that I can't really express but I think we are closer now and more able to communicate than ever before. If it's from her fucking other guys that got us here, then I don't mind at all.

What I can say is that given the right circumstances, using condoms is far more pleasurable than I'd remembered. I know that when I was younger and used them, that I found them cumbersome and awkward and that once I'd sampled bare-sex, I dreaded having to use them. So it's interesting that, whatever the reason, I am enjoying the experience of using them again. As long as she lets me have her bare once in a while maybe is something that I need to accept if she wants me to continue using them.

I had thought I wouldn't enjoy cumming in the condom but that's what I mean about the ‘right circumstances’. The eroticism that I feel knowing why I'm using the condom with her is one thing but I will say that the cuckold part of me does love that she wants me to do so and to not cum in her.

I know it's only been a week or so and 4 times I've used them now so while it might be exciting for a while maybe later on that excitement might fade. I can't say whether that will happen, I just know that at the moment it isn't nearly as ‘bad’ as I'd thought it would be.

Another aspect, a factor, of the circumstances is her arousal; that she sees the condom and it turns her on is something that also makes it feel like something we're doing together.

I suppose I should just come out and say it, that the reality that my wife now only has her lover's cum in her is a huge turn-on too.


She texted me earlier this afternoon, sometime around 2pm and said that they'd gotten checked in and were exploring the hotel and that she'd text me later tonight when she'd have time to talk.

I sent her back a smiley-face but that's all I've done. I fully expect that they've had sex already and knowing Suzanna and her needs, that she will want it again later tonight.

I shall gauge when the time is right and I'll be jerking off here thinking about her, probably...

I wonder really deep inside what Suzanna's feeling about Ray; is she going to suddenly cut him loose? I don't think so.

I suppose if she comes home feeling unfulfilled, or dissatisfied, that might change the situation but if she comes home having had the feelings she's wanted then I am thinking that nothing is really going to change in the short term, like until early next year.

I know how she stresses herself out around this time of year so, in a way, this weekend is good for her from that aspect too. However, the reality of the situation is that between now and the end of January when our son goes back to college she's just not going to have the time or desire to do anything more.

If I had to make any predictions for the long term, though I'm thinking she continues seeing Ray but the frequency drops off or weeks will be skipped instead of being re-arranged, that situation could either go on indefinitely or it'll end when another guy comes into her sights.

As I've already said, I think she's going to want a more aggressive guy next time; someone who will want her to submit to his demands. I'm thinking she may not tell him about me, at least not for a long time, if ever, and I also think she may look for it to start slowly before she accepts or wants his aggressiveness. I see her controlling that until she's ready to let it go to more. I think she's learned from looking back at the past.


I got a text message from her at 11:37pm last night that just said:

Sorry, busy this evening, beautiful hotel. Tell you all about it tomorrow morning. Love you honey.

Then about a minute later she sent one more that said:

Oh yeah, I know you liked this. 2x

She hasn't called yet this morning so I'm keeping busy with stuff around the house as my ******** is still asleep (nice to be a teenager). Last night my ******** and I talked and we're going to go out to lunch and then do some shopping together this afternoon.

I will say that Suzanna’s last text message certainly fuelled an intense masturbation session. I had the thought that she'd sent that to me perhaps before they'd gone to bed and that perhaps by the time she'd be going to sleep, that perhaps that'd be 3x. That thought really set me off for sure.

I slept pretty well considering. It was odd to have her side of the bed empty and knowing where she is and what she was doing but, at the same time, thinking that she's probably falling asleep naked next to him, maybe spooned up against him; maybe with his cock still in her; even after jerking off, I was still horny. It did take me a while to fall asleep with all of these thoughts in my head.


She'd called me about 11am this morning but said she couldn't talk long and promised she'd call me later on. I asked her to quickly share a little of her fun and she giggled and said that she thinks she’s worn Ray out already.

I joked back, "I hope not" and she said that she wasn't worried as she'd taken ‘Jim’ her favourite dildo with her. I wanted to talk more but she said she'd call later.

I must admit to being a bit annoyed but I realized that she probably couldn't just sit there and talk to me in the middle of the day. Whatever, I had plenty to do and I kept busy putting lights up on the house and shuttling my ******** around.

She texted me later in the afternoon and said that she'd call about 9pm ..... and so she did telling me that Ray had gone down in the casino and she said she was going to join him after our chat.

I asked if he knew where she was and she said, yes and that he was fine about her calling me. We had some idle conversation about what I had for dinner and what our ******** had been doing and then I finally asked "so, how are you; are you enjoying yourself?”

She was quiet for a moment and then said the most sexy ‘yes’ I've ever heard with this slight moan to it. I went for it and asked if she'd found what she was looking for and she giggled a bit and then said, "Almost last night".

Immediately in my head I knew what she was referring to was to lose herself in orgasm, even more than she's had with me, and hearing her say ‘almost’ totally got to me and my cock started to throb. I asked her how Ray was doing and she said with a giggle that she thinks she scared him a little. I didn't really need to hear her tell me how, I could only imagine!

We talked about what they'd done all day and she was again quiet until she said that they'd stayed up late last night after she'd texted me and that they slept in this morning. That was when she'd texted me earlier and it turned out they hadn't even eaten breakfast yet and that's why she was short with me. Apparently the weather took a break from being so gloomy and they walked outside on the boardwalks. They could see in the distance where the hurricane had caused damage but where they were, there was no damage at all.

When I asked about the rest of the day she was quiet for a moment then she told me that they'd ‘napped’ and then she giggled and said, "or at least we were supposed to be". I was going to ask but she continued and said that she'd been horny and had started to finger herself when Ray apparently took over and then wound up bringing her off orally. She didn't say it in those words, she didn't need to; I knew.

They'd then gone down and had dinner and that’s when Ray had ventured off to the casino and she had come to the room to call me. She told me of dinner and having a few glasses of wine and liking that they didn't have to drive anywhere.

She asked if I was okay and I told her yeah and she asked me if I was going to enjoy myself later.

I moaned back, "uh huh" and she asked me to tell her what I was thinking. I told her, "the same as last night. I look at your rings in the jewellery box and think about what you are doing.”

She giggled and asked me what I thought about. It took me a second but I told her that I thought about her and how she must be having the pleasure she wanted and, although it felt weird, I told her I was thinking about her cumming.

She knew exactly what I meant and she giggled and said, "oh, I had my pleasure, for sure" and she giggled some more and said, "so did Ray".

I told her, "that's the other thing I think about" and she sighed and said she loved me and that she missed me. I didn't question it; she sounded so sincere.

I asked her what she will be doing later and she said that she wants to go down to the casino and find Ray and get a little ***** and then come back up to the room and have some real fun.

I told her to have a good time and to text me later if she could. I told her I liked her text the night before and then added, "Both of them".

She giggled and said she loved me.

I'm going out now to pick up my ******** from her boyfriend’s in about another 20 minutes and will then come home to have a little solo enjoyment.


Today, I actually went over my in-laws and helped them put up their tree together with some of the other grandkids setting up the lights. I will say it was quite a unique feeling to be there knowing that their ******** is away with her lover.

I wasn't expecting to speak or her from her much today but I did get a text message from her about midnight that said:

Miss you but thank you. This is what I needed. Love you lots. Promise to call you in the morning.

A minute or two later she added:

2x soon to be 3x

So despite being so tired last night, those text messages surely got me started. After I'd abused myself quite well I dozed off!


Today and Suzanna kept her word and called me about 11:30am. She said that Ray had given her ‘time off’ to call me while he went down and hit the casino for a bit. She was all fired-up and told me about how nice the hotel and casino is; how good the food was and all of that.

I said that I was pleased for her and then told her that I was going back over to her parent’s place and that I was keeping the story alive that mom’s seeing her old college roommates and ***'s left at home helping out!

We talked for a few more minutes about things and then I asked, “how were 3rds last night?”

She was quiet for a moment and then said quietly, "wonderful". Before I could ask about more she said that she promised she would tell me everything when she gets home and then she said, "for now, can I keep it just between Ray and me for one more night?".

I didn't really understand what she was saying but I knew she wanted to wait to tell me more so I said, "Ok" and then after a moment I added "I love you honey".

I think I heard her sniff a bit and then she said, "I love you too".

I told her that I wanted her to enjoy her last day and night with him. She said that she'd text me later and then I heard as she breathed in deeply, "you are so wonderful to me".

I told her that I'd be here for her when she got home tomorrow.

After that conversation I went with my ******** over to her parent’s and it was good, nice, having something to do and other people to be around. However, at the same time, being there and hearing them talking about Suzanna and whatever it was also quite arousing in my head to think about her being with Ray. We stayed for dinner and then we came home.


For the last 2 hours or so I've been sitting here trying to stay off the computer but at the same time, wanting to write down some of my thoughts.

I am wondering if she's in the throes of passion right now with him. I'm thinking that she took her favorite dildo with her but I don't know if she's ever used her toys with him before. The thought of him fucking her with ‘Jim’, her dildo is just crazy to think about but I do know what she wants and I know the moment she wants to feel with him. It's the moment she lets go of her orgasm and lets it go without holding back. Then I think, is it 2 or 3 plus maybe tonight; could they have fucked 7 times already?

There are times when she knows I need a good fuck with her. I can't explain it but she knows it and when she lets me go at her, I know the feeling I have afterwards and it's simply incredible. Tomorrow is going to be that day for me if I can just hold off tonight. Now I know she wants that same experience, that she wants to let go and to know (I hope?) he's going to take her there.

I do wonder if what she wants from Ray is to get her to squirt. Oh, she gets wet , incredibly wet if I can bring her to that place, so maybe that's what she wants to feel. Why wouldn't she have said it unless she didn't know it?

That would be pretty wild if he could do that for her but is it weird that I should be thinking it would be very hot to think about? I will have to ask her this for sure but that's just an extreme, I do think I know what she wants and it is that endless orgasm feeling; of knowing that it's up to me or him how long and how intense it will be.

It is now 12:20am and despite the thoughts in my head, I am going to logoff of here and hopefully abstain from self-abuse till tomorrow. I'll be working from home tomorrow so I'll be here whenever she get here.


Well, it's almost 9am here now and I'm thinking checkout time has got to be by 11am so maybe I'll hear from her. I don't know how I managed to sleep relatively well last night considering I went to bed with a huge hard-on.

I wonder if Suzanna's going to want me to continue to use condoms with her. I'm not so convinced, nor am I prepared to simply not cum in her again, at least not just yet. We will have a long talk about all of this and I have no doubt that sex tonight for us will be intense. I'm not sure how both the talking and the fucking will work out time-wise but both will most certainly happen.

It's weird, I remember the first time she went away without me and how I felt on-edge the entire time and how it seemed to bother me deep inside. Now I don't feel that and this time I just can't wait for her to get home and to have her back next to me.


Just got a text message from her saying they're on their way home now. She said she'd be here sometime between 3pm and 4pm.


She got home about 3:30pm just as she'd said she would. I met her in the foyer just inside the front door and her first response was to hug me deeply and then passionately kiss me. Before she could even get her coat off she was telling me how much she missed me. I helped her off with her coat and we resumed kissing.

I wondered how it would feel to have her in my arms again, whether we'd rush up to the bedroom or would have serious conversation first. It seemed my question was answered as I followed her up the stairs, pinching her butt that seemed to look even nicer in her jeans.

In the bedroom I took in how she looked and at first she didn't realize it but then she saw me staring more intently at her and she asked me what I was looking at ... as if she needed to ask!

I told her I loved what I saw. Maybe it was all in my mind but she looked so relaxed and content. There was a softness about her and some of the tension-lines around her eyes had eased. She looked beautiful and I knew the reason why. I told her that I loved how she looked; she blushed and came over to me.

As we kissed I started to unbutton her top and I got so damn turned-on seeing her breasts come into view and knowing that Ray had them for the past 4 days turned me on even more. We lay down on the bed and she looked so hot in just her bra and jeans and I felt like I was on ‘first date’ with her.

I'll say it, as a cuck, it turned me on so much to think of my wife returning to me after literally being someone else's wife that I felt almost nervous about undressing her. It was incredible to feel that I wanted and needed to seduce her myself now.

I slid the bra-straps down and pulled the cups away from her breasts and they looked awesome with her nipples subtly swollen and seemingly to be calling for me. I leaned forward and kissed her again and began to work my way down her neck. She breathed in deeply as I approached her breasts and she moaned as I started to caress them. The thought came into my head about Ray’s hands and mouth being on them and I had a vision of her being on top of him and dangling them above his mouth!

She pulled off my shirt and moaned as she felt my skin against hers. I moved back up into a kiss with her and her hands went to my waist and started to unbutton my jeans. I went to do the same to her and she pushed my hands away and said, "Let me have you for a while first". With that she rolled me onto my back and she pulled down my jeans and underwear.

All this 15 minutes after she's walked through the door!

My cock was hard and she sucked it in her mouth and the first thing she said was, "I missed this" before she went back to sucking me. It was really the first moment that I'd been able to talk to her so as she got me really going I asked, "did you have a good time?" and she moaned back a hearty "uh huh" affirmative.

I knew it wasn't time for deep probing questions so I pretty much lay back and talked to her as she sucked me and told her, "I missed you too. I've been waiting for you to get back".

She sucked harder and deeper and I started to moan and thrust into her mouth. A moment later she sucked her mouth off my cock and said, "you want to put this in me don't you?”

I groaned back, "oh yeah". She felt how I was responding and every few moments would pull her mouth off and say/ask me something again; each time I'd moan more deeply.

Soon I pushed her head back and said, "my turn now baby" and with that I moved her up to where I could resume my travels down her body from her neck to her breasts and now further. She quivered as I gently licked the bottom of her breasts and the lower edge of her nipples.

A part of me was surprised at how smooth all of this was going as I'd expected some kind of emotional moment before now. So it wasn't a surprise when a moment later as I went to unbutton her jeans, that she put her hands there and held me off. I kissed her belly and then looked up at her as if to ask her what was going on.

She looked at me and said, "I just want you to stop for a moment". I thought I could feel her mood change so I moved up and hugged her and she hugged me back and said, "I gave myself to him all weekend".

I whispered back, "I know; it’s okay".

She kissed me, nodded and then moved her hands away.

Oh man, talk about feeling like a first-date and she's just given you permission to get to 3rd base! I unzipped her jeans and she helped me out by lifting her butt off the bed and I slid them off leaving her still wearing her pink panties. I moved up to kiss her again and she hugged me and said in a quiet voice, "I love you" as I started to move my hands back down her body. I began to suspect something was up as her breathing deepened as I ran my hand down her belly and came to her panties.

I fished my hand underneath and she breathed in deeply and held her breath as I came to find what she was clearly apprehensive about. She was shaved bare.

Before she left she had a bit of a bush but now all I could feel was smooth skin. My cock throbbed and she could feel it against her leg. I suppose it gave her my answer to her unasked question as to whether it turned me on.

I reached under her and slid off her panties and, damn, I nearly came without even touching myself! I ran my hands and fingers across her bare skin and she looked up at me and said, "are you okay that I did it for him?

I kissed her passionately and said, "oh my god, yes ... feel this" and I put her hand on my cock. She giggled and said, "I guess so".

I ran my fingers down between her legs and for the first time, she started to spread them and finally I could see the rest of her. Talk about first-date jitters, as she spread her legs slowly I so felt like it was the first time for us and I was just getting to see her pussy for the first time.

What a turn on to see her whole pussy slightly swollen and to know the reason why. Her normally pink pussy lips now were swollen and a much darker reddened color; the nub of her clit seemed to be prominent and equally swollen in size. As I pulled her panties off I looked back upwards at her spread her legs and could see that her pussy was opening and it was visibly wet inside.

Again, it just felt like a moment where I needed to reassure her and from how she hugged me back, I was right. I kissed her and when the kiss broke she looked at me, giggled and said, "I don't suppose you want me to get cleaned up do you?"

I smiled and said, "Absolutely not" to which she smiled and hugged me back.

I kissed my way back down her body and she accommodated me and spread her legs even further apart when I got to her pussy. As I kissed around it I asked her quietly, "did you guys mess around today?" I was licking at her pussy lips but hadn't dipped into her open vagina yet.

She got up on her elbows and said, "before we left the hotel". As she finished saying it, I licked downwards from her clit and this time I stuck the tip of my tongue into her well fucked hole. She moaned and I felt her body shake as she felt my tongue probe around. It had been a few hours so she was just very wet and very open but not very creamy.

Okay, yes, she tasted of cum, Ray’s cum obviously. She'd been filled with it so no matter what ran out into her panties, there was more of his scent and taste no matter how much I licked.

I went at it for a few moments until she put her hands on my back and head and moaned, "come on, I want you already". I actually loved hearing her say that to me and I immediately crawled up and started to rub my cock all around her pussy.

At first I thought I might need to use some lubricant but the tip of my cock slid effortlessly into her and as I pulled it back out and rubbed it all around she moaned to me how, "I’m so wet all the time now". As I pushed back into her a bit more the thought of why she was so wet was clearly in my mind.

I was getting frantic at needing to be inside her. I started to push back into her again and she started to moan and say, "how big you feel" and then she started to say, "easy, be gentle okay?" Just hearing her say that and knowing why, oh my god, did it turn me on like crazy. Even when I was going slowly she got up on her elbows again and said in this sexy voice, "oh my you feel so big. I want to watch you fucking me.

I moaned back that her bare pussy was turning me on and wow did that make her moan hearing me say that. I felt her pussy almost spasm and felt it get incredibly wet and open as I seemed to be able to push into her much more easily. It wasn't till I pushed all the way in and was grinding against her clit that I realized she was cumming the entire time. She shrieked out loud as I pulled out slightly and pushed harder and deeper into her again.

from that moment after she'd so easily orgasmed like that the sex became physical and animalistic. She went from ‘be gentle’ to ‘fuck me harder’ in an instant. She pulled her legs back further than I'd ever seen or felt and my cock was going to be hitting the back of her womb the way she felt inside! She contorted such that her pussy was almost vertical and she implored me to ‘fuck me deep and hard’.

Her pussy felt different; Different-good though. It felt like I knew it would; it felt like it does after we would go away alone and have tons of sex; it felt like it'd been fucked for days and days and what turned me on even more was knowing it was what she wanted. Knowing that Ray and ‘Jim’ had done this to her was an awesome turn-on.

I know the type of sex she had to have had to feel that way and I knew that was what she'd wanted to feel and now I knew she'd done so. I pounded away at her not needing to rub her clit or tweak her nipples to have her what seemed to be experiencing one long orgasm under me.

Finally after what seemed like 10-15 minutes (but probably was much less) her long deep orgasm finally seemed to ease and some sense of awareness returned to her. It was then that she relaxed under me and allowed me to hold her legs with my arms and to spread her wide beneath me. She looked up at me and said, "now it's your turn baby .... cum in me".

It was maybe one of the most incredibly arousing moments ever. Her pussy was totally fucked out, it was if that last orgasm had used every bit of muscle strength she had left. I could feel the wetness, I imagined that after so many days probably every nook and cranny inside her was full and coated with Ray’s semen. Knowing that, plus her own sweetness, was what was lubricating my cock deep inside her pushed me over the edge and after just a few more moments of fucking her deeply, damn, the floodgates opened!

She squealed and her eyes opened wide as I speared my cock as deeply into her as I could and held it there while I finally came inside my wife again. Her eyes were wide open as she felt me start to cum but by a moment later she closed them again and wrapped her arms and legs around me to pull me in as tight as possible as I finished cumming in her.

I collapsed against her when I was finally done. She held me for a moment and ran her hands across my back and through my hair and then whispered, "I'll bet you missed that didn't you?”

All I could do was moan back, "you don't know how much".

It was just past 5pm when, still buried in her, I looked up and she just pulled me back down and hugged me again. She somehow pulled some blankets up over us and I think we actually dozed off for a few minutes together like that.

A little while after we got up, cleaned up and then figured out what we'd do for dinner. It was around then that I think we both started to feel like we'd jumped the gun on jumping back into bed and that we probably should have talked a bit more before doing so.


Our reunion fuck was nothing short of phenomenal. It was really an awesome feeling to have her again and her clearly wanting me to fuck her and cum in her.

It was a bit later, after dinner that I sensed that maybe there was a gap between us and I joined her upstairs in our bedroom where she was watching TV but was obviously not really paying attention to it.

I won't say she was upset but there was obviously something on her mind that I wanted to get out of her. I did the usual ‘what's wrong; Want to talk’ stuff but she seemed reluctant to open up. She told me, "Nothing .... No, I'll work it out" kind of responses.

I sat there getting kind of flustered then I looked at her and said "it's okay if you experienced something with him that you haven't with me".

She looked up at me with these big almost puppy-dog eyes and I could tell that I had touched on what she was thinking so I probed a little further talking calmly. I reminded her, "I know you wanted to go and feel things that didn't include me ... and I'm really okay with it".

I held her, looked her in the eye, "it's okay if you came a lot with him .... I'd like to hear about it if you want to share.”

She hugged me and went into a mini-self-guilt trip about how a loving wife shouldn't go off and have sex with her boyfriend (I noted how she called him her boyfriend) and then she looked up at me and said, " .... and you want me to do this?".

I hugged her back and said that as long as she came back to me and sat next to me like this, that whatever happened would be okay. She was a bit sniffly so I just kept up with talking softly and supportively to her.

I told her that while she was away I'd wondered if maybe Ray was able to get her so horny that she would even ‘squirt’ a little. I felt her breathing deepen a bit as I talked and I told her that, "I'd love it if you were able to feel that again".

She pulled back from me and looked at me and said, "you'd want me to feel those things with someone else?”

I held her hands, looked her in the eye and said, "It’s okay with me, as long as you come back to me afterwards".

She pulled me into a kiss and said she loved me but I felt there was still this gap, this reluctance for her to open up. I went for broke and asked her, "did having just Ray in you help you?”

Well, that was it, she hugged me and said, "I can't believe I'm going to say this but, yes, I think it did" and with that she just opened and started to tell me all about her time with him; more than just that, I think she may have finally let go of the last of her apprehension.

She told me that she did think having Ray alone helped her. She held my hand and said that she wasn't sure if it was all in her head or whether there was truly something to it, being just his.

I stayed quiet but I think she knew I wanted her to talk. She told me again how incredibly sexy and aroused it made her feel when she went to Ray’s on Friday morning, knowing that she was going to be all his. She looked at me and said that having her rings off in addition to the thoughts in her head that only Ray had cum in her for almost 2 weeks really put her mind in the right place.

I gave her a hug and told her to carry on and she told me of their 2nd night there. She looked at me again asking for assurance that I wanted all of the details and when I nodded a yes she told me of how Ray, with the help of Jim, finally brought her to the pleasure that she'd wanted. She said she had to encourage Ray to use her dildo on her including even holding his hand in hers as she showed him how she wanted it. She repeated her frustrations at having to show Ray just how she wanted it but he soon got the rhythm and he alternated between his cock in her pussy and then Jim in her until she was on the verge of a massive orgasm. She seemed quieter as she told me how she begged him to get on top of her. Finally she said he too wanted it and she told him to fuck her harder.

I knew she wasn't totally comfortable telling me this so I prompted her a little to encourage her to tell me more. I told her how I wanted to know if she'd let herself go and whether she'd cum uncontrollably under him. When she heard me being so explicit, she relaxed but she wouldn't look directly at me as she told me how once they got started that, Ray figured it out and kept going at her. She held my hand and told me, "that was when it happened". She paused and told me that once she'd let herself go fully, and when Ray finally got into it that she started, "having one of those orgasms that makes me shake all over" and how a moment later she had one of the most intense climaxes ever.

She told me how she felt herself losing control and then simply only being able to focus on one thing, "Ray moving in and out of me". She said there could have been a fire in the room and she wouldn't have noticed it, "all I could think about and feel was him so deep in me".

I went a bit quiet, it was a bit humbling to realize she'd had this profound experience but at the same time, there was this sense of freedom and maybe even accomplishment in her voice as she told me how a second later she felt her body twist and this wave of pleasure wash over her that seemed to never end. She looked up at me a little sheepishly and said, "I got everything really wet". I looked at her and before I could say anything she said, "I don't know if I squirted like you made me do long ago but it was close; oh god was it close to that feeling".

I knew she was going to need another hug after saying that so I held her and told her that I thought it was so wild that she could let herself go and how proud I was of her. She hugged me back and said that she never thought she could feel that way with another guy and then added that she wasn't sure of how she felt about that.

I knew she had some misgivings. I listened to her as she said she was worried about letting herself feel that much with him.

I asked her if she loved him or was thinking of leaving me. She immediately replied, "no, my god, no".

Hearing that I told her that, "it doesn't matter then, I love that you felt that way and got what you wanted".

She then said something that revealed more of what she was thinking, she said she felt a little embarrassed when she came like that. She said that Ray had a look on his face and went kind of quiet and didn’t make any mention about it afterwards.

I half-joked with her that, "maybe he's never seen a woman truly orgasm".

She said, "that's what I'm feeling a little embarrassed about"; that she'd let herself go like that and that he'd not been ready for it. She described how as she came down from the peak of her pleasure, how she writhed about under him and how he seemed not to know what to do with her.

I actually pulled away from her and said calmly, "you always did think you were too much for him".

She said that it wasn't so much that she minded cumming with him but that she felt it was very one-sided and that she'd pushed herself to this huge orgasm without much care for him and that she felt a little weird about it afterwards.

I reminded her that was one of the things I loved the most about her way back when, that she always made sure she'd cum when we'd had sex even if I'd been less than diligent. I told her that maybe seeing this side of her, revealing this extreme side of her after so many months (or years) of more calm sex, may have made him feel uneasy. She said that she hadn't really felt comfortable being and feeling so ‘slutty’ with him.

We had to take a break in our conversation as it was getting late and I needed to go pick up our ******** from school. Before I left I asked about Ray in general and, “did he fit the bill this time?”.

She sighed, "if only he wanted me more".

I asked her what she meant. She said, "now, don't take this the wrong way, but you know how I had time to call you and talk for a while when I was away?”

I nodded and said, "yea, what about it?”

She looked at me and said, "I would have liked for him to have told me to 'make it quick' or to even complain at me taking time out to talk to you. I can't explain it but it would have turned me on if he'd have told me to make it quick with you, to keep it short!”

I told her that I think she’s whistling in the wind if she still thinks that things might change in wanting things from him that he can't or won't be able to give her. She gave a weak smile, hugged me and told me to hurry back with our ********.

It was an hour later when I returned but it seemed that the day had caught up with us all and despite their being so much more to talk about, we both went to bed lying close to each other, holding hands and feeling exhausted. Whatever is left to talk about will have to wait until tomorrow but I'm confident we'll work it through.


I didn’t expect that we would be having sex last night but I knew that we would be talking more. I also knew pretty much how the talk was going to go albeit that I knew there wasn't going to hear anything unexpected. I just knew she needed to get some more things off her chest and even if she hadn't resolve things for herself last night, at least she feels better now.

Once again we've had the luxury of a quiet house as our ******** is out after school into the evening (though not as late last night) so we've had time to talk.

She seemed to still be shy or reluctant to tell me outright the things and experiences she has with Ray that she doesn't have with me. I had to spend time, again, emphasizing that I want her to do this stuff if that’s what she wants to do, I told her that if there are other things she wants to feel and do, that’s OK, that she should do it. I even reminded her of some of the things we had fantasized over in the past but, through it all, I again emphasized that as long as she comes back to me afterwards, that I want her to know she has the freedom she seems to question.

It took a while but she opened up a bit and told me how Ray is ‘a wonderful lover’ and how he's learned so much about her body and how to make her respond. She looked at me and for the first time she said, "he made me cum when we were away like I've never felt before". I guess when I didn't flinch she told me how good it felt when all she could focus on was his cock in her and the pleasure she felt.

I started to suggest that, “ maybe he's a keeper,” when she cut me off saying, “No; he's a wonderful lover but he's just not doing it for me".

And so we talked about Ray and how she feels about him. She said, "He’d pretty much fuck me every day .... if it's what I want but if it’s up to him, he's content with his once-a-week with me. Even so, we do it to my schedule or 'whenever I want'...”. She gave me a wistful look, “ ....it'd be great if he wanted me half as much as Peter or Dan did, but he doesn't".

I turned to her and asked, "you don't think he'd want more of you if he knew you weren't married or something?".

She said she'd asked him that, actually had asked him if he ever wanted more either in their ‘relationship’ or with other women and he's said ‘no’ to all of those questions.

I told her that he doesn't know what he's missing and that I was surprised. What I didn’t say was what I suspected was on her mind that maybe she was also feeling like she wasn't good enough to make him want her more. She said, "I guess that he's just not that into sex. It's not that he's not horny or can't perform, it’s just that he just doesn't seem to want it."

I joked with her that maybe after being with Joanne, his now ex-wife, for so long that he's comfortable with masturbating a lot when he's not having sex. She laughed and said that must be the case as it's always been something that bothered her too that he never seems upset or anything when they don't get together. She also commented that it is always her contacting him each week to confirm their Thursday’s ‘date’, never him calling her. I sensed a little bitterness there.

That led to her saying something that hadn’t occurred to me, she said she feels self-conscious and a bit awkward, especially after going away with him, in that he looks at her as being slutty or a ‘wanton woman’ because she takes the initiative and wants sex with him. It was the first I'd heard her say that it was her that felt her new sexual desires may be putting her in a place that she's not comfortable being with Ray and probably vice-versa.

I asked her again if her being married to me was something that was coming up and mentioned. She said, “No, it wasn't about being married; I just think my sexual desires are too much for Ray.”

What I felt she was saying was that, if this makes any sense, is that she felt okay with Ray knowing she enjoyed sex with other guys but that now that she's expressed the desire to experience more, that perhaps it’s making him uncomfortable knowing what she wants. She feels weird that he knows what she wants is more than he may be comfortable with.

Maybe I can see this better than her. It seems to me that he liked it when he had the little hot-wife of mine who enjoyed a bit of fun elsewhere but now that he's seeing she wants much more is off-putting for him.

I suggested that maybe she was thinking that he wasn't ready or didn't want the more extreme (in his eyes) stuff she is wanting. She nodded and said that maybe that could be it which led us on to the obvious question of what does she want for the future.


I know, it's strange that Ray can be so up for sex with her when it is her who wants it but seems to have low initiative on his own.

However, it’s more than that for what I see happening (and I don't know if Suzanna's recognized it or not) is that each time she's been with him that afterwards she seems to be a bit more sullen or rather a bit more ambivalent about Ray.

The way she talked about him yesterday makes me feel that after she's felt the high she says she had with him, that maybe it's making it that much more difficult to deal with him on the day-to-day level. I'm putting words in her mouth now but it's as if she is almost disappointed at him not wanting her more.

I'm not totally sure how I feel about all of this either. Yeah, it makes me a little humble that she says she felt things with him that I haven't brought out of her, or haven't in a long time, but at the same time, I totally love knowing how she must have been/felt/looked/acted as she let herself cum with him like that but, getting back to Ray, I think I’m beginning to feel kind of weird about him too.

It's odd to think that, in a way, he's had more of/with Suzanna than I have and now it's bothering me that he's seeming to not appreciate it which makes me empathise knowing what Suzanna might be feeling. Then again, maybe it's freaking him out knowing what Suzanna what wants and yet him still wanting to feel normal about us as friends/acquaintances, etc.

It’s a lot to think about; if only he were a horn-dog none of this would be an issue. It’s making for an awkward situation for both Suzanna and me to know that what she's felt/experienced is from her own doing and not as a result of anything really that he's done.

She's even offered him more time with her if he wanted more than just Thursdays but he doesn't. I’m finding that weird, I think it would have been more fulfilling all around if it had been him who'd pushed and brought Suzanna to the sexual pleasure she wanted much rather than her having to pull him along. I can see this is where Suzanna could be feeling a bit vulnerable and that's what I'm seeing, that each time she's been away with him the highs get better but a lower low follows.

Anyway, that's just my thoughts. In my mind I’m thinking Ray has maybe a little more time before she will allow herself to come to the same conclusion and then to do something about it.


Ray isn't sucking the emotional life force out of her like a parasite. All he's doing is following Suzanna and to move along with her wants. I know she'd be content with Ray if he'd only want her more. My concerns on her emotions and I see that it's wearing on her and that she would really like a more positive response that she gets.


We’ve talked about our future, not in great detail as there's just not a lot of substance yet. She again wanted to reassure me that she'd always take care of me and make sure I am comfortable and okay. I also got the almost obligatory thank-you/I'm sorry for wanting to do this feelings. I suspect she's always going to want my assurancies that it really is okay for her to do this if she wants. I reminded her of just how intense the sex was on Monday as it has been on other times when she's done something sexy like this. She hugged me and told me how lucky she is.

Again, it seemed like once she had her confidence reassured that she would talk more freely and easily. She told me again how she, "would love to find a guy who...." and proceeded to tell me what she would want in ‘him’ if she could truly have her ideal situation.

She wants a lover who can take her places sexually like she's had when she's gone away with Ray; she wants that lover to want her more than she can give to him; she wants to be wanted, yes, sexually. She admitted that she was feeling this need more as she's getting older to let her know she was still alive and was wanted that way. That's where she said that Ray just doesn't do it at all for her, "He never asks for anything".

She looked at me, smiled and said, "Not that I'd do anything more with another guy, we just don't have that much free time....." and then she had a dreamy look when she added "....but to be wanted like that would be so nice".

I told her that I was sure that just as things have worked out in the past, that if they're meant to be, they're meant to be. I reminded her that our ******** may get her driver’s license in another few months and that it's only another year or so before she goes off to college and we’ll have the house to ourselves. I joked with her that, "you said you were always going to want a lover; you'll have an easier time of it in another year or so".

She giggled and said that I wasn't supposed to use her own logic on her. That was also when she said, "Yeah, I don't see it lasting for me and Ray".

I came over and held her and told her I was sorry and that I knew she'd had a good time. She hugged me and said that she wasn't ready to say goodbye to him just yet and then giggled and said, "but when someone better comes along....".

I gave her a playful push and said, "You already have that ... me".

She turned to me, hugged me and said, "You are so right on that one".

We talked a bit more and then, with no prompting, she asked, "how are you going to be if my new lover wants more of me?”

My head was suddenly pulled away from that nice hug hearing this question. I kind of mumbled and said, "It depends. I know you want more so I guess we'll see what happens ... and what he wants".

I'd like to say there was more but there wasn't much more, at least not until we were in bed last night. I knew we weren't having sex as she'd made that pretty clear with comments on how much she ‘needed to let things rest 'down there'; how ‘sore’ or ‘tired’ she was. but she did roll over and start to talk to me more. She said ‘thank you’ again for being so good about all of this.

I told her that it's only sex and that it's really okay if she wants to do this and I told her again how I loved knowing about it and sharing it with her.

I got the feeling that she finally might be able to tell me really how she felt. Suffice to say that lying next to her and both of us sort of talking out into the room instead of directly to each other, it was very erotic to hear.


We have also returned for now to our ‘normal’ semi-vanilla relationship as we've had normal sex (i.e. no condoms and me cumming in her both Monday, Wednesday and now last night too) and she's not returned to any sort of denial either including not wearing panties to bed and such.

However, I do know that this is temporary. Our conversations over the past week have been easy and open but at times have not been the easiest as the ‘new openness’ gives her pause at times when she's saying things that aren't the easiest things to be saying to your husband!

Having said that, I'm thinking it's going to be easier for me, and better, to focus on what we've talked about rather than exactly what's been said.

She opened up about many things and when she saw that it didn't totally freak me out, she relaxed a bit more about talking about it all. Some of this was repeated from earlier but it seems to fit together for me now a bit better.

During the 2 weeks where she'd asked me to not cum in her she said she felt much empowered at being able to control part of her sexuality like that. I already wrote that she said it turned her on but what she's opened up about is that she really liked being to feel she able to say it to me. She said she was surprised that I'd said okay to it too and now understands more fully that I want her to be able to say things like that to me and that I will give her the space to find out what she wants; that I won't pressure her while she 'explores' (her words).

She said that each time I'd either pull out of her before I'd cum or that I'd use a condom, she found herself being very turned on because I was fulfilling her fantasy/desire and that I was doing it willingly.

In return, I told her that it turned me on, surprisingly so, to do it for her knowing how she felt. I admitted that even though cumming in a condom isn't nearly as good as feeling her bare that it did still feel very fulfilling because of the other feelings I had about it; supporting her and seeing her own arousal at me going along with it.

She didn't give me a blow-by-blow (very punny!) of her trip with Ray but she did tell me that only having him cumming in her was incredibly arousing for her. She looked at me and said that it gave her some of the most intense erotic feelings when she felt me having sex with her using a condom and knowing that we ‘could feel Ray's semen in her as a lubricant’ (her words again). She told me how incredibly aroused she felt knowing what she was doing and thinking about it was like a Penthouse story, how she denies giving her husband what she gives to her lover.

What I can't emphasize enough is how excited she seemed about admitting it to herself as we talked. I think she's still a bit reluctant to openly embrace this kind of stuff outside of our sexiest moments together but at the same time each time we talk she seems to find it easier and easier to express herself.

She asked me what I thought the whole time; how it felt from the other side of the condom so-to-speak. I told her what I'd already shared and that, yes, I missed the feeling of feeling her at the most intimate moment when I'd cum in her but I added that seeing and feeling her arousal in some ways was more exciting; a mental arousal versus a physical one. I told her what she already knows, that thinking of her pussy full of Ray’s semen all that time seemed to turn me on in very much the same way as she felt. The eroticness and almost wickedness of her married pussy being filled continuously with her lover’s cum just in and of itself is a turn-on but to look over at her sitting there reading a book or watching TV, or to think of her at work or driving wherever thinking the whole time she's has his semen in her, I told her that those thoughts were incredibly arousing.

It was me though that asked her whether she felt it was all in her head or whether it was something hormonal in not having my cum in her somehow changed how she felt about anything. She looked at me and said she wasn't sure but openly admitted that it surely made it easier for her to be with him and to pick back up with him the next time. She said that she seemed to feel a definite easiness about going back to him afterwards.

She said that even when I used a condom with her and we'd both orgasmed that she still felt that same easiness at being with him again. At one point she said that maybe it helped subconsciously knowing she was still ‘clean for him’, that is, I hadn't cum in her in between ‘dates’. It was no surprise when she said that by the time they went away, that she felt so totally normal in being sexual with him.

I asked her if that helped her and she blushed as she knew that I was asking her to share a greater level of detail about their trip. She jokingly questioned whether I really wanted to know about it. I said of course I did and she responded saying that she just wanted to make sure!

She still seemed hesitant to talk about it until once more I told her that I did want to hear and that it wasn't going to upset me. She took a breath and said it was on Saturday night that he'd really made her cum.. She told me how he'd gotten her up against the windows and as she looked out over the ocean she'd leaned on the sill and how he'd fucked her doggy-style. Apparently whatever rhythm he'd gotten going ‘really touched me’ and then she said that he rubbed his finger around and then gently probed her ass.

That really got my attention as this was the first time I'd heard of Ray going this way. She said she encouraged him more to push a finger into her ass and how at the same time he was somehow able to reach around and rub her clit. She said that motion ‘along with seeing the ocean in the moonlight’ just let her cum. She held my hand and said that, "I didn't hold back" and how she felt the most intense orgasm she's had in a long time sweep over her.

She looked up at me and said, "Do you remember how sometimes you'd have to hold me up?"

I did remember a few times when we were first dating that during some furtive and very sexually intense moments when I'd made her cum that she'd not so much passed out but that she just went limp from cumming so much; she said she had a moment with him like that where she could feel him fucking her then just felt the pleasure sweep over her. The next thing she knew he was holding her up and guiding her over to the bed.

I remembered her pussy used to literally gush with wetness when this happened and, sure enough, she said it happened with Ray.

That happened on Saturday night and she said that she knew that by Sunday night with what she had planned that things were going to be even more intense.

She said that she had decided that she wanted to be ‘totally bare’ for him on Sunday night. She figured that it to be everything it could be and that her being bare would push her mind even further.

She told me that she lay there on the bed, legs spread wide apart for 10 minutes or so while the cream got to work. All the while, Ray was looking on and seeing him staring at her as she used the razor made her more and more horny. She said that when she got in the shower and washed off the remnants of the cream and the hair with it that she felt like it was symbolically her becoming his, washing away everything else. It was very erotic hearing her tell me how totally horny she felt when she walked back into the bedroom from the shower. She said that dried off the outside of her body but that the whole time she could feel how wet she was inside!

I was happy in a way that she didn't tell me exactly how they fucked, what positions, where in the room. Instead she told me of how she felt and how she wanted to be fucked. She told me that at that moment, the only thing she could think about was having her pussy filled with his cock and then his cum.

She confirmed my suspicion that on Sunday night, that Ray had watched her play with herself with Jim, her dildo. At times either Ray was in her mouth and Jim was in her pussy or vice-versa and that Ray had finally (she rolled her eyes as she said ‘finally’) after a while had gotten into it.

She laughed and said at one point he talked to her and said some of the same things I do when we play with her toys, about taking turns with her and about ‘waiting till Jim cums’. She said hearing it from Ray turned her on a lot and helped her let go of everything. She said feeling his fingers, hands, mouth, tongue and cock on her newly bare skin really got to her and that she also got up on top of him cowgirl-style that really set her off.

She seemed reluctant to tell me how she felt Sunday night until I had to tell her, again, "I know he makes you cum". It was when I told her, “I know you had nothing else in your mind other than his cock in you” that she really opened up.

She said she was lying on her back and her hips were propped up on a pillow so, "I could watch him fucking me". She looked me right in the eye and said, “From that position I could see his cock going deep into me and oh my god did it turn me on". She said she'd watched it and each time he'd push into her she could feel herself getting closer and closer. She reached around and felt his cock and balls and that really got her going. What I wasn't totally ready to hear how she closed her eyes and let herself just go with the thought of how she was at that moment, shaved bare, spread wide with her lover penetrating her, "as deeply as he could". As she said let herself go with that thought she could feel his hands on her breasts and then roaming down her body to her ass.

She went quieter when she said how she'd started to cum with him and then she felt him grab her ass and she could tell he was on the verge adding, "knowing he was going to cum in me again just set me off knowing I wanted him deep in me....” and then, her words, she came and came and came over and over again. She looked up at me and said, "..and, yes, you were right, he made me squirt all over" and told me how she felt her own juices running down the back of her ass as he held her up and fucked her deeply. “I was still cumming long after he'd stopped just from feeling him moving in me .... I couldn't make it stop” She giggled, "... not that I wanted to". From what she said it sounded as if she had just one long long long orgasm that seemed to just go on forever.

Yes, she'd gotten what she was looking for and it is quite an incredible feeling to think that she's perhaps found the experience she was seeking. I know that if I'd taken her away or been able to sweep her away for 2 weeks, that I am pretty sure she and I could/would have perhaps had that same experience but, that’s not the point, it is just so hot to think that she wanted it as something for herself.

However, that was not what the conversation was really about, it was more about ‘why doesn't Ray want it more?’. The more we talked, the focus of our conversation was on her realization that she genuinely wants a guy who will want to do this with her without her having to lead or prompt. She said again (rolling her eyes) that once she was able to get Ray really going he was really ‘fun to fuck’ and that she felt so comfortable with him once he'd gotten into it and that she could let herself go.

I asked her what she wanted from him and that was when she said it, she said that she doesn't want anything more from him and that she thinks it isn't going to last much longer with Ray. She joked with me that she'll stay with him through to the New Year and then call it a day.

She saw the look on my face and she said that she couldn't understand why I was staring at her so. Then she said she thought that may have sounded a bit brutal so she clarified and toned it down to say that she'll still see him until January after which she thinks she might gently curtail it.


What she wants is someone who will want to see her when he wants to and not just on her schedule. She said she ‘wants to be wanted’ and added that even the teasing of me during the week sometimes got stale as she felt she was ‘just doing it for myself’." I told her that I enjoyed it and she said she knew that but that again she said that she just felt she's still denying herself.

She held my hand and said, "I told you, I think I will always want to have a lover" and proceeded to tell me that yes, when we can go away or have time alone together that she loves the way I can make her cum (her words) but she says that I am just too much a part of the daily/****** routine for her to feel like she can let loose.

She said with me on an evening when we've just said goodnight to our ******** or for an hour or two on a Saturday afternoon when we might have the house alone, "I can't just relax and turn it off and spread my legs 10 minutes after our girl has gone to bed or whatever."

She said that she has been thinking about this since even before she went away with Ray. There have been times when Ray sort of fulfils this role but only if she pushes him. She would like to find someone who would, again she said it, "want me more". What she said in a roundabout way was that she feels she maybe can let loose with a more aggressive lover who ‘wants her more’ when she sees him ‘whenever he wants her’. She said that she just doesn't feel enough desire for her from Ray even when she puts it all out there, being naked at his place, ‘shaving’ her pubes for him, she says she just doesn't feel what she needs to feel from him.

I bit the bullet and asked, "do you mean someone more like Dan in a way?” I knew it was a little devious on my part to mention Dan just after she'd bared her soul to me like that about Ray but I figured it would give her something of such a contrast to think about.

She thought for a moment and then looked at me and said, "I don't know if I can handle someone as intense as he was ... plus, he was an ass".

I held her hand anticipating what I was going to say, "I know, but he did push you to do things, some of what you now say you like to think about".

She turned and said that Dan had a nasty side and that she often felt uncomfortable with some of what he did with her and that she thought he'd done it just because of it. I told her she was right and that was some of the reasons I didn't like being there. I thought we were done with that after that last comment from her until she said a few moments later "but he did come close" and I looked at her and she shrugged and said that she'd just blurted out what she was thinking and then she added "he came close to making me feel that way" (her emphasis on "that" made me understand that he'd come close to making her cum and let go the way she had with Ray). I didn't ask but she clearly conveyed that she didn't trust Don and that held her back as opposed to her trusting Ray.

Perhaps the last thing that I should note down is that I did ask her if she had any thoughts on where, ‘given your desires’, she might find her next lover. She said that she had some ideas and that she'd let me know when she was ready to start looking (again, those were her words).

I never know when I should keep my mouth shut and I began asking, younger; older; taller; shorter...? She shut me down on each question and just said that she wanted to work it out in her head before telling me about it.

That seemed to bring our talk to an end and nothing further was said regarding the future other than she'd like a more aggressive lover. I suspect there is other stuff going on in her head that I am ******* of but I shall have to wait to hear about that at some other time.

My other suspicion is that she will not be returning us to our former agenda and schedule!


I suppose I'm no different than other cucks inasmuch as I accept that in one way or another, other guys can give her what I can't quite so easily provide (unless I go about a lot of scene-setting such as vacations or planned times alone!) I understand and accept it; maybe I've known it for a long time, that if/when this side of her surfaced that she would truly need sex from another guy.

I think it will all work its way out when the time comes. After what I've experienced and learned, I know that if she ever wants to push things that I will probably show resistance and will most definitely have intense cuck-angst but, in the end, I know that I will support whatever she may want to try out.

I don't think she's got anyone waiting in the wings to take Ray’s place but at the same time, I know she's got her eyes open. What I don't know is how to guide or help her to find someone who might be the type of guy she's looking for. She's not the type to put an ad up on Adult-Friend-Finder site or something like that. She's not into that type of 'shopping' in the sense that she doesn't want to 'pick the guy'. This scenario is something she's never had to deal with before so it's going to be interesting to witness once she is ready to start looking.

In the meanwhile she's said that we can and will still have fun. She even teased me by telling me that, "I did like it you know, denying you...." which gave me a shiver. However, I don't know that she will be returning to the whole panty routine as one thing she came across strongly and shared with me is that because Ray has always been unresponsive to this sort of stuff that it's not something she's going to do on her own for extended periods of time.

I can tell, now that everything is out in the open, that she really would like to feel more wanted. I know she would be thrilled if Ray were to text her or whatever and suggest she come by but I know that he won't, it's just something that wouldn't occur to him to do.


I've come to an understanding of what I'm seeing in her, it's her realization of just how good sex can be when she can disassociate it from her home-life.

To that end we are, in fact, planning to take a long-weekend away in January. That will be when I will (attempt to) exceed what Ray brought her to sexually. We're unsure where we're heading but Suzanna wants to go to someplace warm which possibly has a nude beach where she can get hot and horny sexually with me this time.


So, in a way, we've come full-circle to when we were first dating and she was still sleeping with other guys. I know for a fact that if she was still seeing anyone more than once or twice, that he was definitely good in bed with her and now she's back to that same desire for her lover to want her and for her to want to cum with him.

Thing is, I'm not threatened by it and I am certainly not guiding her or pushing her in one direction or another. I am and will always be here for her.


She hasn't said yet whether she's seeing Ray on Thursday but I do know she has her work Christmas party this Friday evening. She's said that she's probably going to go out after the party with some of her co-workers to carry on partying elsewhere. Already my mind is wandering wondering what/where/who she's going out with and who she might meet but I know it's probably going to be nothing but, who knows?


She hinted before she left for work that, "we'll have fun later tonight". I'm not sure whether she's suggesting we might have sex tonight or whether it's that she wants me to jerk off for her. I'd go for either obviously but in a way, I do enjoy jerking off for/with her if it includes her teasing or turning me on. It's actually something I've really come to enjoy.


We’re looking at costs of all-inclusive packages and it seems that flight time, costs, facilities, etc that Jamaica has the edge. What we're going to do is to setup maybe two long-weekends with our jobs and then see what we can find on last-minute deals and go from there. We've actually never done a spur-of-the-moment type of trip like this and we do have current passports so maybe this is the time.


And that's taken me to the bottom of the page; time for a new book.