Journal of a Journey - Book Forty Two

I never thought when I began this endeavour that these books would fill so quickly. Am I encouraged to write more because I am thinking to the future when I can sit back in my Rocking Chair and relive the incredible things we’ve done; or am I just naturally verbose? Too much to think about; let’s continue.


Well, she surprised me this morning by saying she was going to stop by and see Ray this evening. I was surprised to say the least as I thought it was all over (not sure why, but in my head I hadn't thought she would be seeing/fucking him). I asked her what was up and she said that she wanted to clear the air with him and, "let him down gently".

I asked her again whether he was that stupid that he couldn't see what was happening. She said that she'd told him that she wouldn't be seeing him as much and that he seemed to accept it but that she wanted to be sure things were on a good note between them. Then she giggled and added, "besides, it's been a while since I've been with him".

A few minutes later she turned and said, "You didn't think I wasn't going to sleep with him again ever, did you?" She followed by saying that she thought she'd always have a ‘soft spot’ (which made me giggle) for him and that she thought she'd perhaps see him every now and then in the future.

So, she is clearly in control. It's weird to think but it's true.


Suzanna did see Ray last night; yes, she did fuck him too.

I was kind of disappointed about that as I thought she was more committed to putting things on a hiatus but she explained to me that she thought it would be easier to talk about after they'd had sex. Surprisingly, she said it was easier. As she put it to me last night, after they'd fucked and were lying in his bed she rolled over to him and said, “we need to talk. “

She said that he was taken a little by surprise when she said that she wanted to continue talking about what they'd already started talking about. She said that she made it clearer that while she did cum with him and enjoys the sex with him that she wasn't feeling as much from it as she'd wanted or, more aptly, didn't feel as much from it as she used to. Apparently he did the whole, "I can change" thing but she said she held her ground and said that she didn't want him to change.

I was proud of what she said next that she had done the whole ‘it's not you, it's me’ routine which he begrudgingly accepted. She said she continued and told him essentially what I'd told her that how, as she explained it to him, that she cared/felt enough for and about him that she couldn't accept him in the kind of role she felt she wanted.

I was kind of concerned that she'd burst his bubble too rapidly until she said that he felt better when she said, "I just want to make it a bit more spontaneous for us and to try to make it a bit more exciting instead of being so 'regular'".

She looked at me and said, "I had to try to figure out what to say to him....”

I told her that she'd done good and had let him down gently and that I thought she'd left it in a good place. I joked with her again that she'll always have that soft-spot for him in her heart (as well as between her legs!) and that I thought it was okay that she'd maybe still enjoy being with him from time to time. I bit my lip a bit when she said, "well, we'll see...." which I inferred that it may be fewer, sooner.


The snow has started in earnest here so she's home for the evening when she gets in from work. Her firm is sending them home early so she should be home within another 30-45 mins.

I think she's both trying to let Ray down gently and prepare him for what she may want for herself in the future but at the same time to leave it open with him as maybe some sort of FWB thing in the future.

I have to say that situation appeals to me as it may not be as much of a strain on our fledgling friendship. I've said all along that I'd have no qualms about her fucking him in the future as an FWB as I genuinely like Ray and would like it if things could evolve to maybe become that instead of this rigid weekly sex schedule.


The snow pretty much missed us. We got maybe 8 inches in total which is pretty good but a far cry from the 30+ inches that the folks up north got.

Still, a warm cozy house, a nice bottle of wine and the snowfall outside made for a romantic evening that preceded some hot sex! It was actually not snowing for a while so we opened the shades in the bedroom and the moonlight shone in, quite an interesting effect. Suzanna grunted her most fierce orgasm into her pillow as I stood behind her at the edge of the bed and fucked her doggy-style. She wanted to cum so much by the time we got to it she was pushing herself back at me, matching each thrust.

Ray had asked for her to come over and talk in response to her saying ‘we need to talk’. I wasn't surprised that she'd gone to see him; I was more surprised by her attitude towards having sex with him when she seemed to be kind of turned off/down by it but I suppose that if it was easier to talk afterwards then I suppose that could be a good excuse. However, the reality that I'm also come to terms with is what she's said more than once since then, that she'll probably always be able to fall back into bed with Ray.

Anyway she did say he was concerned about her and that at one point he sort of admitted that his sex-drive isn't as high as she would have liked. I think her hearing him admit that made her a bit more sympathetic in that maybe he did somehow want more from her but just couldn't have it in a sustained way.

I think that's part of what's giving her so much going on mentally is that she's conflicted. She enjoys sex with him but on the other hand, she wants more. She hasn't really come out and said it but she's said it in other ways, like at one point being ‘up’ on him, and then at another point, being ‘down’ on him.

We went skiing yesterday and got out of the house for a while. Granted it was a 2 hour drive, but there were no lift lines, and the 4 hours in the car plus all of the time during the day gave us some more time to talk. She didn’t divulge anything new but it is more that it’s just easier for us to talk now.

I had the thought about Suzanna cucking both of us and it is an amusing one. It's something I hadn't previously considered but I suppose is a possibility! Even the scenario with both of us watching a game on TV when she comes home is, I guess, something that could happen.

I do hope that we can be more friends with Ray in the future but know that he and she will still be intimate at times. I have this crazy fantasy of him coming over in the summertime and the 3 of us being out on the deck, Suzanna in a bikini maybe and somehow the 2 of them disappear for a few minutes and later on that I can see the wet-spot in her bikini-bottom. For some reason the thought of her giving him a quick-fuck by pulling the bottom of her suit aside and then just putting it back and coming back out on the deck, well, it just drives me crazy!


Suzanna will be home tonight and aside of the fact that it's Valentine’s Day she's said again that she wants some time without Ray. Then in the same breath, she did say, if it was okay with me, she was going to go out with the gang tomorrow evening (as if I'd say no!).

I didn't bring up her mention of a one-night-stand but I can see her employing her modus-operandi of having too much to drink (either for real or faking it) and simply go for it and throw herself at someone. In reality I know that she won't reach that point for another few weeks at the soonest. If not then, then surely once the weather begins to warm up.

Otherwise, I am letting things take their own course. I've had thoughts on ways to lead to the next happening steps but I don't want to be pushing/suggesting anything just yet.

It's actually kind of interesting to see her as time passes; it's interesting to see and feel her sexual desires, what she can let out with me and what she seems to be building in terms of desire. We've arranged for some alone-time for this weekend and have 2 bottles of champagne already in the fridge. In the right setting, with the champagne and the house to ourselves, I'm sure I'll relieve her desires if just for a short while. She says she's already horny about having the house to ourselves on Saturday night.


It's about 10:45pm and my ******** is just getting ready for bed so I'll probably be back on here in a little while. Suzanna is still out. Apparently this was someone's last day at work so there's a bit of a bon-voyage celebration going on this evening.


Suzanna just texted me to say she'd be on her way home just about now. Sheesh, life has gone from full-throttle down to idle in such a short time. It feels odd.


She was home by, I guess, about 12:45am and I told her that I'd appreciated her text message so that I wasn't worried about her.

Apparently the group at the bar was a bit larger than prior weeks. Suzanna didn't know the guy whose last day it was but she knew several other people in addition to the smaller group of co-workers that she'd normally hang with.

She seemed happy and ‘up’ (horny) when she got home. In bed I did tease her whether she'd found some ‘hunky guy’ and she giggled and said that there was someone she'd found she liked to hang with and talk with while she was out. I didn't get any other info other than he'd bought her a drink or two and that in addition to hanging with the group, that they'd gotten into some conversation just between the two of them.

I asked what they talked about and she said it wasn't anything sexual or anything like that but that he too likes country-music and shared many likes/dislikes with Suzanna. Country music is something that I can take or leave. I'm not really big on it, I can listen for a while but it's certainly not my choice. Apparently they talked about work for a while and in their past they have each worked for some of the same people. I asked what his name was and whether I'd met him before. She said, "I'll tell you more when there's more to tell" and that was all.

She was horny Friday (all weekend too) and, as I said, was ‘up’ as she seemed on Friday night. There was ( and was in bed too!), she had other times when she was a bit more sombre with her concerns.

I did tease her about Friday night as I knelt above her. I slapped my cock against her wet and spread pussy and teased her whether she's ready for a ‘new guy’ yet. She squealed when I said to her, "I wonder if he has a big cock?”

I asked her whether she's seeing Ray tomorrow or not and she said, "not sure yet, but probably not". I'm sure I'll have a few more questions for her later this evening as it's sounding like she's more dropping him suddenly than letting him down gently.


Well, she once again got home shortly after midnight and this time there was no doubt that she was in an ‘up’ mood for sure! She came bounding in all smiles and horny!

All she'll tell me is that his name is Robert but in the course of the conversation and subsequent teasing he began to be referred to as Bob, Rob or Bobby.

It's a bit more exciting to me as Bob was the name of the guy who was first with her after her divorce and he was the one who coaxed her back into wanting sex as she was a bit hurt by her first marriage ending so abruptly. She's told me that Bob opened her eyes to her own desires and, she's admitted, got her to be a bit promiscuous way back when (which is eventually what brought us together).

I know this isn't the same guy as the guy from her work she's all up about is younger than us and her ex-Bob was older than her.

I asked her for more info and all she's said is that they talked a lot and even danced a bit. She said she tried to keep it discreet to keep tongues from wagging too much at work. I asked her if she'd done anything more and she said no - about the only thing that did happen was a little bit of lingering hand-holding after they'd danced - that and some knowing smiles between them.

I asked her what she's told him about me as she has left her rings on so he knows she's married. She told him that we've been married for a long time and she used the words that she told him she's "pretty happy". I asked her what she meant by that and she paused for a second and then said that she's told him that I have some health issues. Obviously she has some sort of plan.

I asked her what she was thinking and she said that if it gets there (and she hopes it will) that she was going to tell him that I have some sort of medical issue such that I can't perform sexually.

I have to admit to being a little surprised by all of this! Apparently she's had her eye on him for the past few weeks; she must have the right body-language or whatever because she thinks he is interested in her. It also intrigued me that she has this somewhat elaborate rouse all worked out in her head.

I'm saying I'm surprised but at the same time I have say how exciting this is. I recall my feelings when she first started seeing Dan and I am now re-experiencing some of that excitement again. I don't think she had this experience with Ray of letting her passions build. From how wet and fragrant her pussy was last night her passions are certainly rising.

The teasing went both ways last night. We were both horny; me from seeing her excitement and her from the foreplay when she was out and then coming back to me. She lay back naked on the bed and told me how turned on she was to feel like this as she almost absent-mindedly fingered her pussy while I watched. I leaned into her and lay my cock between her spread pussy lips and I rubbed it up and down and she moaned so sexily in response.

I teased her about, "I wonder how big Bob is?” She moaned back that the few times she'd 'accidentally rubbed' against him, that she said he felt big.

She looked up at me with this dreamy look and said, "I hope his cock is thick". I wasn't sure if she'd meant to say it out loud or if it was part of what she was thinking to herself but her pussy sure got wetter and wetter as I slid up and down against it.

I pulled back to guide my cock in and was really turned on by seeing her pussy sort of opened already and seeming to beckon me. I pushed the tip against her opening and it slipped in almost effortlessly. So incredible to know she was so turned on!

She came almost as soon as I'd pushed all the way into her. On my second stroke she moaned and let herself go with it. I could feel her pussy spasm around my cock as she moved her hand down and rubbed her button. I teased her about how he's going to stretch her out if he's really thick and she squealed back at me with some kind of deep moan accompanied by her feet against my butt pulling me into her as deep as I could go.

I felt her pull me close and grind her pussy against me and after that we became a moaning sweating couple as I pounded against her. We rolled onto my back for a moment as she enjoyed riding me but then she looked at me and said she wanted me to ‘do it’ and she rolled off of me and lay back and pulled her legs back. I reached over and got a little lubricant and stroked myself for just a moment while she watched. She said it was so hot to watch me like that seeing my cock so big. A moment later she said, "put it in me already" and that was it. With the lube I plunged all the way into her on my first thrust and she squealed again, "do it" and so I did!

A few minutes later the intensity of the whole scene got to me. It was amazing at how her pussy felt and with just a little mental imagery of this new guy Bob pulling his cock out of her, damn, that was it for me. She came right along with me, as soon as she felt my first spurt she let loose herself.

I think she was a little embarrassed afterwards, she knew that I knew why she'd been so horny and why she'd cum so intensely. We washed up and then cuddled up in bed. I played with her hair and caressed her neck and I told her, "its okay that you're horny for Bob; I like seeing you like this".

She rolled over towards me and gave me an incredibly passionate kiss and looked me in the eye and said, "I love you". Nothing more needed to be said.


So now I know his name. Perhaps later tonight Suzanna will reveal more but I’m not sure as she's playing this quite coy and she's already said she doesn't want to rush into things. Right now she's dropping our ******** and her boyfriend off at the movies after which she'll be home and we have the house to ourselves for a few hours!

About the only thing I do know is that he doesn't work in her department or her immediate area at work. That's good; I know she wouldn't feel comfortable with that sort of thing anyway.


Tonight, of all things, we talked about Ray. She wants me to talk to him and as I'd understood from last week, that she wants me to let him down. Basically she wants me to explain to him how she feels about him, that she wants more from her lover than he can give her.

I asked her why me and not her to tell him this. She said that since we were friends that maybe it'd be easier if I could let him know what she'd shared with me. As we talked she looked at me and asked me if I would be okay if she could still ‘mess around’ with him in the future. I told her that was up to her but that I would probably be okay with it.

Anyway, in the end she convinced me that since I'd sort of brought them together, that she thought it was better if I did the ‘dirty work’. Plus, she didn't say it, but I suspect she'd have a hard time not having a quickie with him if she'd had to see him and tell him. I think I can bring him down gently and maybe salvage our friendship. This actually would be quite interesting to experience, having a friend who's fucked my wife!

Still no info on Robert yet other than she's interested in letting things develop at their own pace. She chided me for asking too much and said that I was the one who'd told her that things work better when they're not being pushed. Then she reminded me that we have a chorus presentation at the high-school with our ******** this Friday so she won't be going out after work. That dashed my hopes that she'd be coming home horny!


I'm not sure what I'm really supposed to explain to Ray. I don't think Suzanna wants the message to be that he needs to work harder. If anything I was going to tell him that she's going through some sort of phase and that she didn't want him to think it was anything more; that this has gone it's course and that she, essentially, wants to move on to someone else as her lover to focus on. I hadn't planned on telling him to ramp up his game or he's going to lose her. From what I get from Suzanna that ship has sailed already. I think I’ll explain that it's her realization that she doesn't want her lover to be our friend as she thinks that gets in the way of things at some point.

I suppose, in retrospect, he could and should have done more. I also know that my not feeling threatened by him did allow me to grow and realize I can feel okay about letting Suzanna do more, such as going away with her lover, than I would have felt otherwise.

It still seems so strange at times to talk so nonchalantly about my wife having sex and more with other guys. I think perhaps more-so right now because she is sort of in-between-lovers.

What I can say is that I definitely have missed the slow simmering build-up of desires that I see in her now as she's exploring what she wants (or who she wants).


I did ask Suzanna a lot of questions about why and what she wants me to tell Ray, etc. She was honest and said that she wasn't totally comfortable in trying to express her feelings to Ray. In essence she's not comfortable coming out and saying this sort of stuff to Ray; she's only just becoming comfortable with me. She added that if she started to feel bad or sorry for him, that she didn't want to somehow ‘fall into bed’ with him to ease the situation or emotions.

I guess I didn't fully appreciate how she feels. It was when she said that she was first getting okay with talking with me about it all, it made me realize that while she has sex with Ray and all that, that she still doesn't feel totally free with him as she does with me (rightly so). She added that she thought if he heard it from me that he would perhaps be more accepting and could use me as an excuse in his head rather than thinking that yet another woman has run off on him.

I ran ‘my script’ by Suzanna and she liked how it sounded in general. I told her that I was going to tell Ray that, “Suzanna is merely trying to find herself and trying to assuage her feelings of getting older what with menopause and all of that”. I will tell him that while she still has feelings for him (and will add that she'd probably always sleep with him; that she's just like that about guys she's liked/loved) that she needs a bit more distance between them as well as maybe a bit more time between them getting together.

It will be weird to talk to him though. While I didn't say it to Suzanna, I am probably as uneasy about it as she is. It has been a while since it was just me and him hanging around talking so it'll be awkward but hopefully will be okay.

On the Robert-front there's really been little talking this week thus far about him. She's being very coy about it all and playing down that he might be her next guy. What I do think, from what’s she’s said, is that she is going to want him to make the next/first move

Neither have we talked at all about what she would be wanting in her next guy. It's not that we won't talk but there hasn't been a real opportunity yet this week. There's also the lack of a ‘reason’ to talk about it since we have plans for tomorrow evening.

Other than this sort of stuff though, and aside of a bit of erotic teasing, we're moving more towards vanilla-ish sex for the time being. It's good though, it’s not a complaint, it’s just very nice to truly make-love with my wife.


I guess the big news is the chat with Ray which went better than anticipated and wasn't nearly as awkward as I'd expected.

He had a very friendly greeting for me and eagerly offered me a beer and said that, "we don't get together often enough". I commented that I thought it was a bit awkward given what was going on and that's when he said that he'd actually been thinking that either the 3 of us needed to talk openly together or that he and I needed some time, just the two of us.

We started to have some idle chit-chat as I was thinking it’s not really fair to jump right into the whole conversation then before I could really say much he said, "That’s some woman you have there". I smiled and said yes, that I knew that. He joked with me and said that lately he'd become much more understanding of how I felt about things. I asked him what he meant and, after clearing his voice and taking a big gulp of beer, he basically said that he's now seeing what he thinks is some of what led us to letting her see other guys.

He did seem hesitant at first to talk until I kind of said to him something like, "I know things have been going on pretty steady for almost 2 years now". He didn't really say much until I said, "I know you've given her some really good times" and I told him that I was okay with it; I even told him that I liked knowing Suzanna was in ‘good hands’ and that the two of them seemed to have found a good rhythm and then I added, “at least for a while”.

He was still a little hesitant and cautious until I said I was happy that he'd satisfied her for a while. It was when I started to say that I thought that lately she'd been searching for ‘more’ that he started to reply a bit more openly.

I responded to his understanding of what's going on that we (her and I) had talked openly about her desires and I told him that with this being a second-marriage for both of us (something apparently he didn't know) that we both understood that there was much more to a relationship than just sex. I added that neither of us felt that sex with others was necessarily toxic to a relationship as long as it wasn't done with malice. I also told him that as she’d approached menopause that she and I had wanted to do more sexually ‘before it's too late’. Actually, what I told him was what we'd both heard about the misgivings of people later in life regretting more not doing/trying something that they were interested in vs. regretting trying something and not liking or enjoying it.

He said that he'd never met someone like Suzanna who was as comfortable sexually as she is. I told him that it was one of the things that had attracted me to her and told him outright that, "her promiscuity was something that has always turned me on".

That really seemed to finally ease things between us and he said that he wasn't sure he could deal with it like I do but immediately added, ".... but I have no doubt that she loves you. The way she talks about you and all of that, you have nothing to worry about". He said that he was a bit surprised by that when he first heard her saying that as he couldn't see how she loved me by fucking other guys but over the 2 years (and he couldn't believe it was 2 years already) that he'd come to see and know what she said was true. He said that, at first, hearing that from her was something that kept him unsure of what to do but that over time he learned to believe her about what I was saying, doing and wanting and, more important, not minding.

I did wind up telling him that I think she's going through different phases and I was honest with him and said that, "... right now, unless I take her away on vacation, she finds it really hard to let go sexually".

I looked at him and said, "as awkward as it was, I was happy that you took her to Atlantic City back in December" and I joked with him that, "I think, at times, you fuck her more than I do!”

He laughed but immediately said, "that's her desire" and he again said that he didn't want to cause any problems. I laughed back at him and said he needn't worry.

We didn't talk much more about the way she and I interact. I got the feeling from some of what we said that Suzanna had told him about stuff that we do such as her denying me, etc. The closest we got to this was when he asked me if I was okay about him having gone away with her like he did. I didn't say that Suzanna had gone away or spent the night with other guys outright but I did say that she had ‘come home really late (like next morning)’ before they'd started seeing each other.

He seemed to want to hear how I felt about it so I told him outright, that it hurt the first times (yes, I told him it happened more than once) but that at the same time it made me feel so horny about her; when it didn't seem like it had hurt us, that it wasn't so bad.

He was quiet for a bit after I said that and I think he was kind of unsure of it all until I said something like, "look, you like fucking her and she obviously likes fucking you. I know you've shared a lot with her and I'm okay with it".

It was Ray who actually said that he'd felt things were changing. He said to me that he was a little surprised that Suzanna had wanted to go with him in December. I told him that I thought he'd done great with her and I even said to him, "I know she really had a good time with you". That was when he said, “I’d started to feel lately that she wanted more ...,” and he looked at me, “... and I don’t think I’m the guy for her for the future.

I think he was trying, in a way, to apologize to me for maybe feeling like he'd brought her to this point where she now wanted more and that maybe he was saying sorry to me for doing so. It was kind of weird so I told him that I'd felt that she was wanting more too and I told him that I'd even told her that I wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it. That was when he said to me that he did feel a little guilty ‘doing all that with her’. I said that I think she's still sorting out what she wants in life ‘while she still can get it’ and I laughed and said that I'm okay with that.

He looked at me and said that if I'd said that to him 2 years earlier he'd have thought I was crazy or something like that but he said that after all of this time that he now no longer thought that way. He actually seemed complimentary to me, saying that he could never do this with someone he loved but that if he'd had the length and type of relationship I have had with Suzanna; if he knew and was secure in his partner's love for him the way he says Suzanna is about me that maybe he could. He looked at me and said that given what he now knows about Suzanna, that it seems like it's the right thing for us. He said he'd been concerned at times about his feelings for her but that she'd always kept him in check and had never really returned his feelings.

I told him that I thought things were going to be changing between them and he said that he knew it and as he'd said, that even before their December trip, that he'd felt things were changing. He didn't come out and say it but in a round-about way he did express concern that I should be aware of what she was wanting. He confided that he'd seen her wanting more from him and that he wasn't comfortable giving. They way he said seemed to imply that there was more than just one thing he wasn't comfortable about but I didn't push it. I just took it as accepting that he wasn't going to be the one for much longer.

He expressed some concern for me but I told him that this is no different than anything that's already happened and I told him that Suzanna and I always talk about everything. He laughed at that and said that too had surprised him that I knew about everything that was going on between them.

We were well into our 3rd or 4th beer by this time were talking much more easily. He asked me some questions about how all of this happened and how I got to feel okay about her having sex with other guys. He said that he didn't think he could have felt that way before meeting Suzanna and that his relationship with Joanne wasn't anything like what Suzanna and I have or even as open as what he's achieved with Suzanna. I tried to explain things and each time I made a point he nodded and would say, "".

Wwe parted on amicable terms. I did tell him that Suzanna would always have feelings for him, laughed and said it wouldn't surprise me if she acted on them in the future! I added that for the moment I thought Suzanna wanted a bit of a break and he agreed and again said, “that's what she would say.”

He did say that he hoped that our friendship (his and mine) would be okay in the future and that he'd long wondered about it. I told him that it was okay and that I'm sure we'd get back to ‘normal’, whatever that might be. He seemed a bit hesitant or maybe cautious after I said that until I told him how I'd felt long ago when Suzanna and I first met and I knew other guys who's fucked her and that I was okay with them. That seemed to relieve him and he shook my hand and said, "I guess we'll just see what happens".


She hasn't said anything further about Robert but, then again, I haven't pushed or asked directly.

Suzanna seemed happy with my account of how things went with Ray and me although I think I may have underplayed some of the uneasy moments. It did make it easier that apparently, much of what Suzanna had told him seemed to mesh with what I told him which essentially was the truth. So it seemed to me like it was more me telling him the same things again.

It wasn't so much what Suzanna was asking him but more what she said she wanted. Without either of us coming out and saying it Ray had made it clear to me that he felt Suzanna was wanting more time where she was able to feel as she did when he'd go away with her. He also knew that he knew he wasn't the guy to do that with her.

He didn't say it like that but it was how he talked about going to Atlantic City with her and how he responded to what she'd done with him. So maybe he wasn't so shallow after all.


She still hasn't mentioned Robert but doesn't shy away from teasing (or being teased back) about it either. I can't get a good read on it but I’m thinking she's hot on him, at least enough for her to want more. At the same time, I think she wants him to perhaps make the first move.

I asked her if she was going out again on Friday. So far, she's unsure and said she's tired this week and, like me, work has been crazy for her. I kidded back that going out could be a good end to a crazy week and she answered back, “So is a bottle of wine with you!”

She hasn't shared much in what she wants for the future and my thoughts are that while she may have an idea that for the most part, she wants whoever is next to lead the way or at least spur her desires.

I think I've always been hesitant about her taking any next steps but at the same time I cannot deny the intense arousal I get from seeing her passions and desires rise.

The things that Ray said to me have again reassured me that we are as secure as we can be right now but I don't fully know what I want to experience. I only know that I feel intense arousal and satisfaction at her sexuality.

I know that she has more desires that are yet to be revealed. I sense that from how she is when I have her away. Perhaps in a year and a half from now when our ******** goes off to college and our son is, hopefully, gainfully employed that all of this could end, when she feels she can finally be free again. All this could be a flash in the pan until she feels she can be the sexual being she wants to be with me at home whenever she feels the urge. I know the desire I can feel in her when she has to suppress her desire to scream and moan out loud but when that inhibition from our kids being home is I still feel this sexual desire in her may be focused back on me. Again, it's from things she's said as well as things that Ray said too.

For me, what would I possibly want?

I don't know fully but as crazy as it sounds I do so miss her parading around in panties all the time in front of me and flaunting that her pussy isn't mine to have so there’s no mystery that I would hope somehow Robert, or whoever, would give her desire to possibly resume that.

Where that might lead to, I don't know. I've made it clear to her that I definitely enjoyed the times when she denied me in preference to Ray. What is a turn-on is now knowing that she's done all of this essentially on her own. I got the clear message from Ray (and her) that he'd never pushed any boundaries or made any such requests of her.

So, until we reach the next step I suppose I'll just have to sit back and enjoy the journey.


I know I may be kidding myself about a possible end-point to all of this. There is no doubt that she enjoys her freedom and yes, has said in the past that she thinks she'll always have a lover of sorts in the future. There’s the other thought that with the increased freedom we shall have once our kids are gone that it could result in an escalation of all of this, including her bringing lovers home and the like. Perhaps what I'm inferring is that we would no longer be constrained by the limits we have now. I know it frustrates her when she cannot scream out in orgasm for concern of our ******** or son hearing her and I feel it too. We've both had to reach out and cover the other's mouths at times when we've been active and the kids are home.

I'm sure that Ray knows and understands that there's going to be a ‘next guy’ for Suzanna. I didn’t say so outright to him, my only references were that she wanted to experience more. I know it probably didn't matter but in my head, that may have also been something I did that may have also made it that much easier for him to accept and understand.

I do hope that our friendship can develop a bit more in time and I hope that he and Suzanna will still have some times together. I would like to see what it's like to be a friend with a guy who's taken/taking Suzanna to bed. I'm not totally sure I'd be comfortable with talking about it directly, but now as with the guys in her past it turns me on to no end that they've fucked her.


With the announcement from our ******** that she'll be staying late at school straight through the school-play, Suzanna's now decided that if the group is going out again tomorrow (weather permitting) then she WILL be going. I have not asked or pushed for any other information other than asking her if Robert would be there and she said, "probably, I hope".

I do not know if she's given him her cellphone number, but I do know that she has given him her personal Email address which isn't such a big deal as many people she works with have her Email address. Suzanna's not into Facebook so that's not happening.

I am sure that if Robert is interested in her that he will figure out a way to let her know. He may not work in the same area/division as Suzanna but he could easily find ways to be in her building/area, etc., if he wanted to. Perhaps he already has but, again, I'm not prying into this at all. I feel in some ways that I've led/pushed her towards things in the past; this time I want her to decide what she wants on her own. I'll give her room and support but I want this to be her doing.


There are risks of emotional involvment if she falls for Robert (or whoever). I think she knows it herself but I don't think she's going into this looking for that type of emotion but, yes, it could happen. I know it would kill me to lose her but there too I know she always has more to consider than just Robert (or whoever). Me and our ****** and her value she places on that.

Perhaps she will let her emotions run wild and perhaps step over the line, but I am confident that unless things sour between us two that no matter how far she strayed over that line, she'd always come back. Hopefully this is not going to happen.

I will say though that this risk weighs on me heavily as it opposes the intense arousal I can also feel at this thought. As I said the idea of her being one of those couples we saw when we were away, the idea of her in that situation is incredibly arousing to think of her that way.

I do know that she has some condoms in her purse in a sort of hidden zippered compartment. I didn't tell her that I'd seen/found them (not that she'd intentionally hidden them from me) but did feel good to know that she'd put them there.


Suzanna is out with the work-group. I'm due to drop my ******** off at a friend’s a little later for a sleepover so I am hoping that I might hear from her when I return home.


It is almost 12:30am and she isn't home yet. She texted me a little after 11pm and said she was having fun and that I shouldn't wait up! I don't know what that means but I've been on pins and needles since and have tried to stay away from temptation on the Internet! I'm quite tired but I know that if I lie back and turn the TV on that I’ll be asleep in minutes. Best I continue with updating my journal I’m thinking.

I honestly don't know what she is doing and that is perhaps the craziest feeling. A part of me doesn't expect her to move fast with Robert, but another part of me knows that if the circumstances are right and she'd had a bit to drink that anything could happen. Maybe they're just kissing. I can imagine him running his hands all over her and her breathing deeply as he does. Will she let him feel her breasts? I can see him holding her close and unclasping her bra...

I'm also thinking that she's horny for this. The break with Ray has certainly ramped up her desires and now that I think about it I've noticed that she's been exercising a bit more lately and is looking more toned.

That's about all I can think about right now (which has given me a throbbing in my cock!) I do know that the later the clock turns, the greater the likelihood she may use one of those condoms tonight. Such a wild thought.


After the past few weeks it is now clear that it will soon be Suzanna and Robert.

I should start by saying that they haven't had sex yet. Suzanna has said over and over that she wanted to be wooed and seduced and that she wanted to want it when it happened and now, she is very close, and yet, Robert has remained the gentleman. He's inquired about our status and, yes, specifically my health. She's replied that I can 'perform' but not well and not all the time and, when a bit *****, she's joked that at times she is frustrated. She has also made it clear to him that I tolerate her indiscretions but has not told him that I know more, etc.


First Base?! This past Thursday, he's finally had her top and bra off and he's felt and sucked at her breasts as part of a 'make-out-session' after they'd gone to dinner!

She’s now a ‘regular’ with the work group and at their last Friday outing, she and Robert had gone off alone and shared their first true kiss. He asked her if he could take her out to dinner and she said, "That sounds like a date" and he said, “Yes it does”.

She talked it over with me so, in a way, I knew it was coming but I wanted to hear her tell me. She’s admitted now quite openly that she is horny about him and is attracted to him. She didn't expect to have sex with him; she said he's being quite the gentleman about it and that she is so enjoying this playful seduction between them.

She's come home after their Friday nights and now after this past Thursday night so turned on and horny that we've fucked like animals. After this make-out session after dinner she also said that he felt her pussy over her panties. I've joked that this isn't like her, to hold back as she even admitted that she'd have let him take them off of her, and she said it's not her, it’s him. She's said that the slow seduction is working, that she is very horny for him.

She's also said that he feels like his cock is bigger than mine, longer and thicker, and she's begun to tease me about that when we're in bed. Last night she teased me about how he's going to feel in her.

Strangely, in a way, her desire for him has brought us much closer including sharing some incredibly passionate love-making sessions that have left us both struggling for breath. Our ******** went up to see her brother at college over the past weekend and that left us time to truly reconnect here at home. I know Suzanna was horny thinking about Robert but we reconnected without talking too much or teasing too much about him many times.

She admitted to wanting him and we talked about that. She said that what's between us is so much more than just sex that after almost 30 years together she felt she could maybe let herself go a bit more with Robert emotionally. I asked her what that meant about us and she said it wouldn't change anything but that if she wanted to be more emotionally involved with him would I be okay with it. I told her openly that it turned me on incredibly over this past month to see her desire for Robert grow.

We talked about something that an old friend of ours had told Suzanna not long after we'd gotten married. She was at least ten or more years older than us, divorced long ago and, then, long married. Suzanna shared with me that the friend told her that every wife should have a full-blown affair at least once, that it was good for the wife to feel that sort of desire. There was obviously much more to the conversation, both back then and now, but in the end, it was part of what Suzanna felt was something she may want to let happen with her and Robert. She said he has already said many times that he would never want to come between her and me or cause us problems.

It is a very different conversation to have with your wife discussing giving her your approval to actively seek and want another man she finds attractive. I know she was attracted to Peter and Dan, even Ray, but in those situations it was more them wanting her and her eventually wanting them and the relationship developing from there.

Here, before they've even begun, she's admitted she essentially has a crush on him. I can say without a doubt I can feel that there is an intense closeness developing between them from what she’s said and how openly she's talked. We haven't talked specifics about Robert other than her saying she wants him. Our conversations might have been about us but the underlying impression to me is that she really wants him.

Clearly we’ve talked about the risks and she knows that once she starts to feel something for him that it may grow into more but, realistically, she is 14 years older than he is and at very different points in both of their lives. She's told me in passing that he would still like to have kids and I am pretty sure he knows that Suzanna is past that point but it serves as a boundary of sorts so she feels that will limit things. Plus he knows that I am here but he doesn't know my tolerance levels, etc.

She did ask me how I would feel if her emotional connection with him grew. I told her what I've said all along, that essentially as long as it was all working for us that it would be okay. I also admitted that it did turn me on to think about. She giggled and called me crazy but she has also said that she is really beginning to understand me more and more. What she's figured out is that as long as I feel that our marriage is okay; that as long as I'm somehow sexually satisfied; that I actually enjoy the sex she has with her lover (maybe not physically) but I actually enjoy it mentally and that somehow, her fulfilment give me a sense of satisfaction that I haven't seemed to ever find anywhere else.

We agreed that no matter what, that we needed to be able to talk openly with each other. She said she'd try to be careful and that she thought she'd done much better with Ray. At one point she did say, "It could have happened with Ray", meaning her falling for him emotionally and that it was her who was in control. (I figured that referred to when she would have skipped seeing him, etc.) I told her that she would have to listen to me if I felt she was losing control and that it might be hard for her to see it, etc.. She agreed.


She's not seeing him this week. With so many people having this week off from work and they still want to keep things quiet as much and for as long as they can. In the meanwhile, she is just soooo turned on and horny all the time. Between Thursday night when she got home and last night, Wow, I'm tuckered out right now.

They have no set plans for the next move; she's said that she wants it to be him to take the next step first though. Like she's said, she wants to be ‘wanted’.

I'm not sure if I'm necessarily ready for these next steps but at the same time I wouldn't dream of saying no to her. We have both been so horny and turned on thinking about it. It's such a crazy feeling to want your wife to want another man.


We've had a period of ‘horny animalistic’ sex because we've had the house to ourselves at times over the past few weeks but in the past week, with our ******** and now son home for the week for spring-break, we have already moved back into the norm for sex between us. We both orgasm together and feel incredibly connected but, at the same time, I know that she feels inhibited with the kids being around and consequently that the passion isn't there in bed between us.

We haven't really talked much about her relationship with Robert; it is still too early yet to even know if it's going to work out. In my mind it is already a done-deal but until they have sex together, nothing's guaranteed.

There's the part that actually has me a little concerned. What will develop in their relationship with Suzanna's admission that she wants to feel and connect with him emotionally? A part of me is excited and I do feel confident enough to let it happen, if that's what she wants but, at the same time, I know we're playing with fire.

The cuck in me would like to see her let herself go a bit. I do love seeing the passion developing between them and thus far Robert is proving to be skillful in wooing her. Suzanna is definitely beginning to feel ‘wanted’ by him and that is exciting.

Suzanna wants to be wooed and Robert appears to be doing that quite well. I've joked with her that this is truly a ‘slow start’ for them and she's said that when it does happen, she wants to know they both truly want it and that it's not just some drunken romp after being out drinking.

I am sure that if things blossom for her and Robert, that there will be some increased denial towards me. I know that if it happens as part of her new desires for him, that it'll be very arousing for me to see her wanting him more. I will admit I'm a bit hesitant this time with her admitted desires to be emotionally involved with him. We've talked and she says that it is something she's wanted to do every since we started with other guys .

She shared with me the conversation she had with Phyllis, our old friend long ago, when Phyllis revealed she had quite the affair back in her time. She said her husband, like me, tolerated it because of what it did for her self-confidence and desire in bed. I asked how Phyllis handled the emotional boundaries and Suzanna said that it wasn't easy and that it took time between her and her husband.

I asked Suzanna if Phyllis and her 2nd husband had been swingers. She said that they didn't talk about it and that with Suzanna being pretty naive at the time it hadn’t occurred to her but, looking back, she feels they must have been.

So, that part does concern me quite a bit, that she'll be playing with more than just sex and ‘acting’ this time and that she'll be putting her heart into it too but I would also be lying if I said that I wasn't incredibly aroused at the thoughts of it.

Robert is certainly taking his time and it'll be next week before they plan to get together again so there's still some time for things to develop.

It sounds crazy to think about this like this, but at the same time, it is almost an evolutionary part of being a cuck.


Last Thursday and it was her choice. She's been talking about how she'd like their ‘first time’ to be something nicer than a quickie in the backseat of a car or some drunken blur. I suspect he's going to want to start talking about it this week so perhaps that will be a clue as to when/how. He seems to be pretty good at getting her aroused in terms of how he's behaving and being quite the gentleman.

From how she's talked about him (other than when she's teasing me!) it seems that he wants to take this slowly so that she doesn't have bad-feelings or memories about doing something rash. Apparently he's said that he wants her to ‘be sure’ of what is happening and has also repeated what she's said, that she wants to want-it to happen.

I have found out more about him too. He's 38 and he's acquainted with several people who work either in Suzanna's area or just nearby, not sure how, but he's in a different building. He has a managerial job unrelated to what Suzanna does so it would raise questions if he appeared in her work area as he'd never have a legitimate reason to be there, etc. I told her that she'd need to be careful when she's out with mutual people after work. He is looking to have kids (he's told her that already) so that is surely a natural limitation on what may ever happen between them. Other than that she told me he has a big cock!

I asked her about what she thinks he wants from her and vice-versa. With some thought, she said that essentially he's looking for a rebound-relationship of sorts, someone he can feel good with and let him sort out his emotions with. That was when she re-emphasized the kids thing.

I asked her if that was what she wanted to be, to be that person for him. She said she wasn't totally sure yet and again said she wanted and was just enjoying him wooing her. Maybe I had a concerned look on my face because she leaned over and kissed me and told me again what I'd also mentioned, that it wasn't a done-deal yet or, as she put it, "he hasn't charmed me out of my panties just yet." She promised me that we'd continue talking about it more if she was closer to that decision.

That said our son has been virtually invisible since spring break began and equally, our ******** has spent several nights at girlfriends so Suzanna and I have had quite a bit of alone-time.

While she may profess uncertainty when we have our serious talks there is no doubt when we are in bed and the talk becomes less serious that she is aroused by him and that when/if the time does come that she wants it to be something special. In bed there have been several times when during foreplay, she's laid back, spread her pussy and teased me about how Robert is going to fuck her; how she hopes she can feel as open and comfortable with him as with the other guys so that she'll still enjoy being naked with him.

Of course I teased her back, "as if that's even a question" but she's also told me equally as many times about how big he is and how, “I hope he knows how to use it".

I do have to say that seeing her lie there with one finger gently teasing her clit as she tells me how he's going to feel in her it's such an erotic moment. By the time I crawl up between her legs and let her feel me push into her, my cock is dripping away just listening and thinking about her.

I admit there are times when I think I have second-thoughts about wanting to be a cuckold. I do worry about losing her to him in some way even if it's only a bit of her and I do worry about what difference it will be with a bigger guy. I mean, who wouldn't? I admit that I am concerned about what will happen when she feels emotionally for him but in the next moment the most intense desire and arousal sweeps over me as I push into her and in my mind it's him that's gotten her this aroused and this wet for me. All I want is to feel that moment for real and to experience sharing it with her and by the time I push all the way into her, I know that I am most definitely a cuckold.

At times, I find myself focusing on and remembering that feeling as it seems to make me feel so alive in wanting that with her.


I think Suzanna's comments on her desires for the first-time with Robert are more that she wants it to be something that takes place when they both want it to happen and not something that comes about one night due to alcohol or the circumstances lowering their inhibitions. I don't think Suzanna was implying that either of them are fall-down drunks or whatever but more that she'd like it to be a bit of a romantic type of situation rather than a furtive ‘go for it’ romp in a back-seat. From what I've heard of him, Robert will drink along with the rest of them socially. I suspect that 3-4 might be the high-end for both of them. Usually by a 4th drink, Suzanna can be quite relaxed and animated.

I was actually a bit more comfortable hearing Suzanna accepting her place as a ‘rebound lover’ in that I think it will by its own nature, provide some limits to what could happen. She's mentioned his desire for children more than once so unless he's willing to change that stance, there is no way that this could go beyond them being passionate-lovers as there is just no way that Suzanna would want anything to do with young kids again unless they're our grand-kids!

She told me last night that they will be going out together with the rest of the group this Friday. I asked when she thought they might take the next steps and she giggled last night and said, "it could happen soon, maybe next week" and then added, "It’s something we're going to talk about on Friday".

I may not be conveying it fully, but there is something in the way she says all of this that leaves me feeling very calm and confident about her. Maybe it’s something she's intentionally doing to calm my concerns; it's working because I do feel more relaxed about it all, including knowing that she is developing feelings for him.

I haven't mentioned it yet but this will be the first time (well, except her one-night-stand in Boston that started it all) that I won't know who her lover is. I've been thinking about this for a while now and it gets me very aroused to think that there may be a guy who's fucking her and more who I haven't met or know of personally. That’s a kind of an exciting and arousing thought for me when and if it finally does happen.

It is such a hoot to see her being aroused like she is about him and her not feeling like she has to hide it from me. I love it and I love her.


Suzanna, Robert and I; there's not a lot to tell since Friday's not here yet but I’m still excited!

We've been talking both before and after having sex and I will say that it is very arousing and exciting to see her as ‘up’ as she is about Robert. However, I will also say that at other times when I think about it, I do have mixed thoughts.

Like last night. I knew from how she was acting when I got home from work that she was horny, just from the greeting I got; the eye-contact; body-language, etc. Sure enough, in bed last night she rolled towards me and said, "Interested?"

I joked back that, "I'll bet if I said I was too tired you'll find something else to do", alluding to her most likely lying there masturbating if I wasn't going to have sex with her.

She giggled back and said, "I'd try to be quiet".

Of course it turned me on to see her so horny but at the same time, like I've said, it's kind of an eerie/odd feeling to know she's all worked up about someone else, someone I've never met.

When we've talked, she's been very open about how sexually aroused she is by Robert and his ‘smooth approach’. At the same time she's continuously telling me that he's very aware of our relationship (Suzanna’s and mine) and that he is also very respectful of it. She says that at times he's said that he wants to ‘make sure she's satisfied’ which has prompted me to ask more about what she's said about me. It also led me to ask when they've been doing all this talking.

She said that she's seen him sometimes at work especially in the nicer weather when she's gone out for a walk at lunch. I think they have met ‘accidentally on purpose’ inasmuch as they've run into each other and that the two of them have taken walks together at lunch sometimes with others. She says that she's never told him anything bad about me and actually that she's said that when I'm able that I satisfy her quite well. Then in the next breath she says she's also told him that there have been times when she's wanted to make love and that I've been unable to rise to the occasion. That's when she's made her comments to him, "that's when my hubby suggests that I should have a lover".


Last night she teased me and then told me that she's very horny for him. That much was obvious from how wet she felt when I put my fingers in her pussy. It is just so arousing to me to feel her like that, to feel her body unable to hide her desires! As I climbed up on top of her and nudged my cock into her wet pussy she didn't hide anything when she said that she ‘hoped he was big’. I really can't explain how turned on that made me feel but she knew it from how I felt, she even commented on how hard and thick my cock felt as I pushed into her. As we got into a nice rhythm she started to tell me how she hoped he's going to be good in bed and at one point said, “I can't wait to feel him where you are right now!". At that moment it was just so intoxicating to hear, that she wants him in her.

I know we both talked more trash stuff which got us both even hotter until finally I felt her just let loose. It is just so beautiful to see her let an intense orgasm sweep over her; to feel her pussy clench down and at the same time almost gush with wetness; to see her body flush with desire; her nipples like little pebbles atop her breasts and to see her head thrash back and forth while uttering a deep moan. I followed suit and a moment later after her pussy relaxed I plunged balls-deep into her and I was overcome I let loose with what felt like a huge load of cum in her. She squealed again as another mini-orgasm swept over her.

It was afterwards when we lay there that she said that she said that she wasn't going to have sex with me tomorrow, "... in case anything happens on Friday".

I asked her if she thought that was likely and she coyly said, "hmmm, maybe... " but then she added, "... but I don't think so" and she turned to me to continue talking.

She looked so cute lying next to me with the sheet down at her waist and her breasts still looking aroused and flushed. She said that she thought that they would most likely be planning for their ‘first time’ to be maybe next week. I asked her what she meant and she said that he'd said that he wanted to talk to her more about ‘things’ when they're out tomorrow (Friday) after work. She said that in the past, his reference to ‘things’ has been related to sex. For example, he's asked how ‘things’ are between her and me; that he's seen 'things' in their future which have obviously related to sex.

She leaned up and kissed me and said that she was happy that I was being okay about all of this and that it's letting her feel good about wanting this for herself. I know in the back of her mind that she's probably associating this with the whole ‘affair’ thing but I didn't really ask more.


Well, she is already off to work and I'm now following suit. Last night was uneventful but this morning, I am sure she teased me as she spent a few moments after her shower standing naked at her lingerie/underwear drawer looking through and holding different pairs against her and looking in the mirror. She knew I was standing there watching her as I dried myself off with a towel. The only thing she said was that she wanted to be sure she looked good tonight, "in case anything happens".

She pulled up a lacy pair of blue panties and then walked by me back towards the bathroom. I pulled her into a kiss and felt her bare breasts against my chest and I know her nipples were hard. As we kissed I ran my hands down her back and over her panties at which point she let out a low moaning sound in my ear.

After a quick bite for breakfast we shared a lingering kiss at the door after which she pulled back and said, "I might be late tonight ..." and then added "... but you should stay up and wait for me" with this sly sexy grin. Once again, our ******** has, coincidentally, made plans to stay tonight at her girlfriend's house as they are both going out shopping tomorrow. I'm sure I'll have time later tonight as I will be here waiting for her.

Right now I feel angst inside. I can't fully explain but thinking of Suzanna possibly having sex with Robert for the first time tonight is just incredibly exciting. I almost cannot wait to get home later tonight and with her not being there to know what she may be doing. Just as I also know that the moment she comes through the door, that I will passionately and desperately want every inch of her and to hear about every moment and every little detail.


I have no idea what to expect from tonight. Based on the way she was dressed (and undressed) this morning, anything is possible and yet from what she's said at other times, I'm not sure she's expecting tonight to be the ‘first time’.

It's about 8:30pm now so I suspect they're still at the bar, drinking a bit, cavorting and dancing.

I'm incredibly aroused thinking of how horny she has been and how she must be feeling at this moment, waiting to be wooed and seduced. Yet, at the same time, I know that we are inching closer towards her allowing another guy to have a part of her this time. It's a bit unnerving and definitely something that I try not to focus on.


It's 11:35pm and she just texted me that she's on her way home and that she hopes I'm waiting up for her. As if she had to question it!

I can't describe the feeling waiting for her to come home and share the evening with me. It's that first-date feeling for me with her that is just so amazing to feel. I'm sitting here thinking of her getting into her car wondering if she had to re-button her blouse or perhaps pull up her panties!

I wonder about the condoms hidden in her purse. From what Suzanna's shared, he's ever-the-gentleman and I believe he's already said he'd use them but I suppose that would then depend on her. While I would love her to come home with his cum in her, I don't believe she's comfortable enough with him or to know enough about him to let him have her bare just yet.

Damn now I'm wicked horny for her.


They did not have sex last night (her and Robert, that is) but she and I, whew, we tore up the sheets something good that's for sure!

To explain. They drank a bit last night and, yes, she said that by 10:30pm or so, that they were pretty much the only 2 left at the bar. She seemed to play it coy with me on revealing all the details but that was just to increase my arousal I'm sure.

She said she wasn't totally sure how things were going to go and even admitted that it was early enough that had he asked her back to his place, she probably would have gone.

Instead, they went outside for some air and that led to them leaning against her car and they began kissing, passionately, she added. The look on her face as she told me all of this left no doubt that she was in heaven as this went on; just from how she described how his hands caressed her as they kissed, I could tell that they were definitely in the-zone and oblivious to the rest of the world.

I did smile when she said that she opened her car and they sort of fell into the back-seat. She hadn't told me that they hadn't fucked yet so I thought, “maybe they did fall into a back-seat fuck.”

My cock grew rock hard as she told me how he unbuttoned her top and how she let him reach behind her and unclasp her bra. She did that move women can do to take it off without taking off her blouse and it turned me on incredibly to think of her lying back on the backseat of her car with her breasts out lit up by just the moon and street-lights. She said she was so turned on when he leaned down and began to caress them and suck at them. She even giggled and said that her hardened nipples surely gave away how horny she was.

She said she pulled him up for a passionate kiss and this was when she reached over and started stroking my cock gently. She smiled to feel how hard I was as she kept talking.

I used to dread hearing of her passionately kissing her lover, as if there was some imaginary line that was being crossed, but now I realize it's part of the arousal she feels and just knowing that makes me want to hear more and more.

I loved her feeling so able to tell me how horny he was making her. She knows I'm with her and that just sharing the moment again with me makes me feel such a part of it. She said that she felt herself getting more and more into it and she felt she needed to feel him closer so she reached for his belt and his pants and she said he resisted at first but then relented.

She confided that he is circumcised. She would have described it more but she said that he wasn't fully hard yet as she reached in but that he felt "soooo thick" even without being fully hard. I don't know if it was intentional but I immediately remembered that she'd said he was larger than me and at that moment thinking about it being the first time she felt his cock in her hand, I knew how she must have felt reaching this point with him.

She said she kept one hand on his cock as he continued to kiss her but somehow he moved over next to her. I knew there was room next to the back-seat and as she told me that, I knew what probably happened next.

Sure enough she said he reached for the button and zipper on her pants and she almost seemed eager to tell me how she lifted her butt up off the seat for him to pull them down. She emphasized how he left her panties on almost as if to reinforce how gentlemanly he is.

Apparently he went back to kissing her and caressing her now almost naked body with her blouse open, and now her pants down at her ankles and just panties remaining. She seemed to get even more passionate with me including now reaching down and sucking my cock at times in between parts of her story.

I still wasn't sure whether they'd fucked or not, she didn't really give it away just yet and I wondered what lay beneath her panties. She looked at me with a bit more focus as she told me how his hands went down her body till they reached the waistband of her panties. I know he'd felt her through her panties before but somehow this was so much more. She said he played with her pussy through her panties and she's sure that by then the crotch was visibly darkened. She made no secret that she'd have fucked him in an instant at that moment.

What totally turned me on was to hear her tell me how his hand felt the first time he touched her pussy beneath her panties. She told me how warm his fingers felt and how she didn't feel self-conscious at all about how he could feel that she was so turned on. She said her clit felt like a marble when his fingers grazed over it and how she took a deep breath and, even more, of how gentle he was as he touched her for the first time.

She said she immediately felt so comfortable with him that a moment later (and I have to emphasize how she was looking right at me as she just said this stuff knowing I wanted to hear it) she felt his fingers separate her labia and how as she felt his finger rub around her pussy; how she almost involuntarily shifted her hips to give him easier access. My cock was now throbbing in her hand.

I cannot tell you how emotional I felt at that point. It's a good thing she'd slowed down on my cock or I might have exploded right then as she told me how she felt the first time his fingers went into her pussy. She did close her eyes a moment later and then she looked away from me for just a second as she told me how he made her cum for the first time just a few minutes later. She said it surprised her but that as he kissed her and she felt his fingers slip so effortlessly into her pussy that she just let it go and she said she had quite an intense orgasm underneath him. She said that when the waves of passion passed over her, that he was laying against her holding her tightly with one arm around her back and the other still with his fingers deep in her. She'd stopped stroking me or I'd have spewed at that moment when she told me how she'd cum with his fingers still in her.

I was lost in the moment until I realized she'd continued talking and was now telling me how she wanted to ‘return the favour’ for him and how she struggled to get his cock out of his pants. Just the way she said ‘struggled’ painted the picture for me.

He must have been as hard as I was by that moment and she said that when she finally pulled it free, that he was fully hard and that he was really big. I'm no slouch in the cock department at being just shy of 8" and thick enough that her hand doesn't wrap all the way around it but she described him as being even longer than me. She looked up at me with this intensely horny look in her eye as she said that she needed to use both-hands on it.

She told me how she leaned forward to suck him but that she could barely get it in her mouth. She blamed it on their position in the car but I know otherwise. She said she tried to suck him and she seemed to relish in telling me that he tasted, "sooo good" but that was immediately followed by her saying that "... it just didn't work out in the car like that".

I was about to tell her that she should have just gotten out of the car and let him have her from behind as she leaned over the hood but then she said that he told her that they should, "save something for next time".

That was the moment I leaned forward and said, "so you mean, you didn't?"

Before I could ask anything further she shook her head and said that he'd said that he wanted to talk to her about going out someplace special next week, " and maybe back to my place afterwards?"

She said she blushed at that and said that she was sure they could plan for that. She said she wasn't ready to go from ready to spread her legs for him to this sort of more serious conversation so quickly so she told me how they talked as she pulled herself back together. She kissed the tip of his cock before he pulled his pants back up and she said she looked up at him and said, "next week?" She said he smiled back at her and said, "definitely".

I thought the story was about to end and by then I knew she was horned up from not having more than a finger-fuck earlier and I knew that I was already well past there so she started to talk to me about how horny she was as she helped me undress her. I think we felt like two teenagers who'd finally found a few minutes alone-time. When she pulled off her top and bra and I loved seeing her breasts knowing that they were full and even a bit reddened from his hands and mouth.

When she stood there in just the same panties as I’d seen earlier and I knew that he'd had her just as naked as she was just then, I went ballistic. I tugged her panties down and all I could think was how wet she felt and how it was from his fingers in her as well as everything else.

I want to say we had some more fore-play but there probably wasn't much as I was hard and she was wet.

She saved the best part for last. As I started to fuck her and she knew how turned on I was by how I felt she looked up at me and said, "he asked me something else".

I was on the edge as it was and I said, "what?" in a half-moan.

She looked up at me and I knew she was approaching her own orgasm by how she was talking and breathing and how her pussy felt. She said that he'd asked her that if he could show he was healthy and didn't have any STD's, whether he would still have to use condoms with her. She said that he said he knew she couldn't get pregnant and thought that if he was safe, that maybe she'd be okay about it.

She said he asked how I'd feel if he did and how she'd feel too.

It was a lot to listen to and I mumbled back, "what did you say?"

She said, "I told him that I'd let him know". A moment later she looked up at me and said, "I want to let him".

I knew what she meant and the moment it registered I peaked and let loose with a huge explosion of cum and I plunged way into her and stayed there and ground against her. Wow did that set her off with a scream and the knowing feel of her pushing back and up against me as she cried out.


Another book filled with my thoughts and secrets. On to the next!