Journal of a Journey - Book Fifteen

What Suzanna thinks about what we're doing and whether I like it is now the question...

She put it pretty bluntly at one point asking me simply if I'm liking what she's doing. I asked her, "What do you think?"

She said how I respond and how I am when she does finally return home, she is sure that I am turned on by it all and commented again on how there seems to be more a urgent sense of desire and passion between us when she comes home to me. She wanted to know how I was feeling the other times, whether the other stuff she has been doing has been good for me or not. How could I respond in anything other than glowing terms of how great it is?

She asked me, "what about Saturday when you were all upset at me leaving?"

I just told her that yes, I was a bit upset but as I said before, it really was me feeling a bit selfish. I openly told her that once she'd left and I was left to focus and think about it all, that I spent most of that day with a wicked hard-on waiting for her to come home. She smiled at that. I told her again that the stuff in the bar was a bit borderline at times and she reminded me that she was a bit ***** and had let things go a bit further than even she'd wanted. From what she said, she felt that she was acting a bit slutty that night and that she herself wasn't comfortable with that label maybe being applied to her.

It was my turn to laugh at her at that comment reminding her that she IS fucking another guy and that everyone at the bar knows it so it may be a bit too late to worry about a slut label. She sighed and said that at least she didn't have to be so open about it and I agreed.

"How about when I am wearing panties around you, how is that for you?" she asked honestly.

I was honest back and told her that knowing why she's doing it and knowing that she's doing it to tease me and if not telling me outright, but implying, that her pussy is for Dan for that period of time, I told her that it turned me on incredibly. She smiled at that and she said that at first she found it a little weird but that as she's seen what she now knows is a favourable response from me, that she has gradually gotten used to it. I told her that in my head (when she's wearing panties and teasing me about it) all I can think about is her pussy not being for me then but instead being for Dan and that it drives me wild with desire for her.

She giggled at that and said, "I know, I can tell" and she confessed that it even turns her on a bit; that it even keeps her own fingers from having too much fun, kind of like a female chastity thing.

She reminded me that I was the one who'd encouraged her to put aside the time before she sees Dan and again that I'd actually acquiesced to this when she was with Peter. I told her I know and in continuing with the eased/relaxed conversation that I even looked forward to abstaining on Wednesdays and Thursdays. She said that she appreciated that and while she did it because of Dan's requests of her at first that she now opened up and said that she wanted it for herself now too. She added that those 2 days really did get her horny for him and leads to ‘incredible sex’ for both of them.

I asked her if this was all for real with Dan, the whole ‘not in my room’ thing with me and in general how he felt about her having sex with me. She was quiet so I knew this wasn't something that was easy for her to talk about. Clearly it's one of the points that she and him conflict on. Apparently he really doesn't like it if she's not ‘clean’ or that if she isn't; that it's just from him.

She said that she no longer tells him about anything that she and I do because he doesn't really like to hear that we are sexual together or, as she put it, "he doesn't like to know that you cum in me".

I didn't really know what to say and she continued that he likes knowing that she isn't ‘with me’ on the 2 days before they see each other. She then added that if it were up to him, that I wouldn't cum in her at all.

I joked that he just wants her for himself and she said, "no, it's not that, he just wants to be the only one who cums in me".

Apparently this is something new for him, usually the women he's dating are either only with him, or in the case of the few married women who he's seen, that they weren't having sex with their husbands while they were having the affair with him.

I reminded her that she knew that this was pretty much off the table for us as there's no way I'd want to give up sex with her. She surprised me by saying something like, "but you said you'd maybe try it if I'd wanted you to."

I knew she had me so I just said, "well, we'll see but that was only for a period of time, not something indefinite."

She smiled back at me and said, "of course" and the way she said it let me know that she understood how I felt.

She asked me how I felt about her teasing and I told her that her teasing was perfect and really was doing what I'd hoped. I came out and told her that I am feeling and experiencing what I wanted to, that I wanted to feel how it would be with her truly desiring another guy. She smiled and just said, "That’s good because I do".

We've been fucking most of this week so far and I think all our talking has really let her mind go too as whenever we've gotten-down-to-business in the last few days; her pussy has been so wet that it's clear she's also horny.

Who would have thought that as we're approaching 50 that our sex lives could be so intensified? Certainly not me.


It was quite an arousing weekend culminating with Suzanna making herself available to me last night despite her being quite tired but it was actually her idea. She'd been teasing me most of yesterday afternoon as she told me, "maybe I should let you just have me like Dan does when he's still horny and I'm not!"

I knew what she was telling me; she'd told me at times despite her being ‘tired’ that she'd let Dan use some lubricant and essentially masturbate using her pussy instead of his hand. She always says that despite her not being in-the-mood that by the end she was right there with him.

Last night we put on a dirty movie in the bedroom and she simply lay back and said, "Dan likes it when I let him do this." With that she spread her legs and just said, "Go ahead". I didn't need much encouragement since she'd kept me on edge all afternoon teasing me.

The kids were gone for a while yesterday afternoon and as we lay out getting some sun I joked with her that she ought to lay out nude as our backyard is pretty secluded. She teased me that maybe she'd have to go to the nude beach. I was going to reply to her when she continued and said, "maybe the three of us can go sometime?”

I was joking but she was serious and I told her that, "everyone there would know you're fucking both of us!” Her reply that drove me crazy was, "so, it's the truth, I am!” I wasn't and still aren't sure of how I feel about this; the 3 of us going together.

Anyway, although she was tired last night I guess she was a bit horney for she just lay back and spread her legs for me. She put a little lubricant on her fingers and then handed the bottle to me and a moment later said, "Whenever you're ready." As I pushed into her she moaned that I should go slowly until she got used to me. She was very tight at first and as I started she may have not been totally horney but she did keep up with the teasing to get me going. As I got all the way into her she said things about how she'll let Dan do this to her and how she liked feeling him stretching her as he would grow to full-size in her.

Within a few minutes she was right there with me. It was so incredible to feel her getting wetter and wetter as she got more and more aroused. She kept encouraging me to do-it-for-myself and that she'd be there with me at the end. Sure enough, as I was about to burst, she was there too and while we didn't orgasm together, mine certainly triggered hers.

This morning she was still playful but reminded me that she expected her period to be arriving this week. I had totally forgotten about it and then I realized and asked her if that was also why she went back last Saturday; that it was going to be a few weeks before she'd see Dan? She said, "yeah" and I felt a bit foolish about how I responded to the whole Saturday thing when I realized this but I didn't mention to her.


I did ask her again if she was serious about the 3 of us at the nude beach and she said she thought it'd be fun. I'm trying to envision that scene; the 3 of us lying there. I wonder if she'd ask him to apply her suntan lotion. We've seen 3-somes at the beach before and Suzanna has always commented on the ‘lucky lady’.

Fun thoughts and I've had some fun with this in my head, especially last night as Suzanna turned in early. I think, if it happens, and it probably will as we frequent the nude beach as much as possible, then I think it'll be awesome to see how she reacts and feels when she is the one that everyone looks at.


We'd continued talking all through the week and weekend and I knew from what we'd talked about that she was looking forward to seeing Dan this week. She was honest and said that she missed sex with him even though what we had was pretty explosive ourselves over Memorial Day weekend! We talked and she agreed that we'd had some really excellent sex and that fortunately, the kids had gone out for a while so we could be pretty loud. (What she was really saying is she feels inhibited at home at times!)

She was honest and said that now that she'd relaxed enough to really let herself enjoy being with Dan, that she felt she could honestly tell me that she missed him as it'll have been almost 3 weeks. We both had a good laugh at that and she said to me that I'd, "better watch out when the kids are away over the summer" as she was going to want it from both me AND Dan! I told her that I live to see that day. She said that I should remember that I'd said that!

Last night she was really frisky in bed and as we got started we were all kissing each other and had our hands all over each other she said, “we should get some toys out." With that she pulled out her favourite dildo, her blue-jelly one she's named ‘Jim’. She looked at me and said, "You have to wait until Jim is done with me" and then a second later, "or until I'm done with Jim!!"

I just knelt there between her spread legs as she let me watch her masturbate and get her pussy wet. She then applied some lubricant to the dildo and she teased me more saying stuff like, "you like me 'well-used' anyway," and, "watch how I cum with Jim" and did she ever. At one point I thought she was going to hurt herself with how hard she seemed to be fucking herself with it but a moment later she seemed to let loose, arching her back, thrashing her head back and forth. At the end she even let go of the dildo and I reached down and held it in place before it slipped out of her. As she rode that wave of orgasm I could tell how hard she was cumming from how her pussy went from tightly gripping the dildo one second to it almost falling out of her the next.

As she passed that final wave I could see her body relax and as the dildo slipped out of her she looked at me through these glazed eyes and just said, "your turn!” Her pussy just hung there open after I pulled Jim out of her and then it was truly my turn and, damn, I loved slipping into her like that. There was almost no resistance, just this intense feeling of being in a wet warm glove. The dildo is quite a bit thicker and longer than me and just feeling how deep her pussy was opened up was such an intense feeling especially after it being almost a week since we'd fucked last.

I told her afterwards that I really loved how there was no resistance and how she only feels that way after having sex and cumming with either another guy or with a dildo; it’s like her muscles have just relaxed open and there's none of that tightness that I get at first. She laughed at me when I said that because, “that's the opposite of what Dan says; that he loves how tight I feel at first!” I laughed and said that it seems that we'd found an interesting combination.

She wrapped her legs around me and welcomed me into her as deeply and as forcefully as I wanted to be. We didn't need any more lubricant that's for sure as by the time I was ready to cum we were squishing and sliding all over the place. We were both really in sync and as I got closer and closer so did she until at the very end it was one of those times when we both came together. Her clutching pussy seemed to suck at my cock until we both let loose at the same time.

Afterwards, as we lay on the bed together (thankfully it had cooled off finally so we weren't quite so sweaty) she rolled over to me and asked me, "was that good?" The grin on my face and how limp my cock was should have been an answer for her but I said, "mmmm – awesome."

She said, "good because you might have to wait till Friday now". I wasn't ready for that as I was hoping to move back into our regular schedule of Tuesday nights but she said, "it'll be good for you to wait plus I want to be really horny for Dan this week if that's okay with you?” Before I could answer her she said, "if you're good, maybe I'll give you a blow-job on Tuesday night?”

I was going to say something about that but then as I looked at her lying next to me I just said, "okay, that'll be good". She smiled and hugged me and kissed me at that response!

This morning I asked her casually in the bathroom if she was serious about what she'd said last night, about me having to wait till Friday. She turned to me and said, "Yes, I'd like that if you can manage?" Then she said, "tell you what; if you behave this week, maybe I won't start wearing panties around you; Deal?"

How could I say no?


Suzanna has long had a dominant streak in terms of her behaviour and attitudes. I have always liked a ‘strong woman’ and it was one of the things that attracted me in the first place to her. Back then it was her sexuality that had impressed me; I can long remember her riding on top of me grinding away against me in pursuit of her own orgasm (in addition to mine).

I guess this is one thing that I have been enjoying seeing as a change in her, the re-emergence of this side of herself. If she's now at the point where she can feel that she wants this for herself again and, as she describes it, she's getting some of this from Dan now then I'm all in favour.

I'm sitting here with a wicked hard-on thinking about now waiting till Friday, knowing she'll be simmering for a few days with her desires growing. I've already figured that I won't be tagging along this Friday so I'm making other plans. She's been encouraging to me to masturbate as much as I need to.


I wonder sometimes if any of this change is actually and subtly being led by Dan. Should I (as they used to say about nuclear inspections in the cold war) ‘Trust but Verify.’

Not quite sure how I could independently check. Could I leave a bug in Dan's place? In truth, I have no desire to do such a thing as I'm pretty sure this is all Suzanna's doing. Lord knows I've planted enough thoughts in her head and have told her pretty plainly that I want her to push things. I think it's going to be one hot summer!

I really don't have a reason to suspect Dan is guiding this. I'm sure he's pushing her a bit in some ways though and I figure his fastidiousness is probably somewhat at play. I also know that it's Suzanna's desire too. I mean I know that she's normally quite horny this week and for her to say no to Tuesday night and to say it so far ahead of time means to me she's made up her mind about what she wants.


Suzanna did keep her word last night and gave me what I can only describe as an incredible blow-job. I'm not into her playing with my butt at all but last night she spent time massaging the area between my cock and ass. She said she'd heard that this was a way to stimulate the prostate without going anal.

Well she learned first-hand that on me that must work! She sucked me for a while before she started that stuff and once she did it was like throwing gasoline on a fire, wow! I found myself having to try to hold off cumming it seemed to have that much of an effect on me. She was so enthusiastic that at the end she was letting me fuck her mouth and at the end I let loose with what felt like a fire-hose! It was like one huge gusher instead of multiple smaller squirts. She gagged a bit but she made it absolutely clear that she LOVED it. She swallowed most of it but did kiss me a moment later and I could taste my own cum in her mouth.

I was totally drained after that and she had a good laugh at that.


This week was a crazy one at work and kept me busy both there and at home.

Suzanna kept her word and didn't ‘cover up’ all week. It was a fair trade as her blow-job on Tuesday truly left me satisfied. So much that I didn't really feel the need, urge or desire to masturbate on Wednesday nights as I would usually do. She slept in her usual long-t-shirt but abstained from putting panties on as she had been doing in the prior weeks. She did tease me a bit especially when she would be rubbing some lotion into her freshly shaved pubes but nothing terribly extreme just the gentle, "you can have this on Friday". Come Friday though, it was difficult to hold back my obvious hard-on as she showered and then stood nude at the bathroom mirror doing her hair and her makeup. She even pranced around nude looking at clothes and such for work and something to change into for after-work. She saw me staring and I know she made sure she gave me plenty of ‘views’ as she'd bend-over with her back to me and such. She giggled a few times as she saw me moving my cock out of the way as I got dressed!

She went off on he own and I went over a buddy's house to hang out and work on his computer. He was hooking up the equivalent of a media-center PC which was fun. It was nice to see what the high-end in technology has these days including an HDMI feed to his hi-def TV.

Suzanna texted me about 12:30am that she was going to be leaving soon so I got home about 1am. I was kind of anxious when she didn't get home until almost 1:30am but when she did I forgot all about that and I couldn't wait to get into her panties.

As I've noted many times in this diary, it always feels like a first-date when I finally coax her clothes off of her. This time her naked body revealed the obvious signs of her passion earlier including this time several marks that looked like bite or suck-marks almost all over her.

She said that Dan was very physical (I expected to hear that after such a long wait) and that they'd fucked in almost every position imaginable. With all the time between her text message and when she finally got home her pussy was no longer ‘creamy’ but just very wet, sticky, and very pungent with what I can only assume was several days or maybe more of Dan's waiting for her! She lolled on about how wonderful it felt to be with him again. I had sort of expected her to be a bit tired or worn out but instead she seemed pretty perky for almost 2am. We fucked for a while and I don’t think I'll ever tire of how she feels when I finally have my turn. I can't explain it but it's like her vaginal muscles have just relaxed by when it's my turn and there is such a sensual feel to her knowing she'd been with Dan earlier.

I don’t know that she orgasmed with me though. She said she'd had quite a good time with Dan so it wasn't very concerning but she certainly encouraged me to ‘have fun’ and I surely did finally letting loose with my own 3-day build-up which did bring a squeal from her!

Afterwards we lay in bed holding hands and talking about various things. Not so much explicit sex stuff but general stuff. I remembered and asked her, "So, what did Dan say about the nude beach?”

She sat up on her elbows and looked at me and said that he didn't think he'd be into going. He said that he had never been there but heard it had lots of gay guys there and he pretty much said he didn't think he was interested in going! I could sense it in her voice that she was disappointed so I told her that maybe she'll just have to show him her ‘all-over’ tan and no-tan-lines and that maybe he'd change his mind. Then she said that he said that it sounded ‘kind of gay’ for him to be there with her and me and that he'd feel weird hanging out naked with me and (what he must think are) other guys there too.

She said she tried to explain to him that it's not like that and shared what I'd told her, that we could bring our little pop-up tent and that they could have some fun. She said when he heard that he seemed to change his mind. She didn't push it any further but he seemed to agree to maybe go there with just her alone but not having me along. She knew that wasn't what I wanted as I'd told her during the week that I thought it would be fun for the 3 of us to go.

She said that they did talk about other stuff that she wanted to share with me but then said, "2:30 in the morning isn't when I want to talk about it" so I’m thinking something must be up.

I hinted to her this morning that, “maybe we could talk more over coffee" but she smiled and said to let it wait till tonight so I'm not going to push for it till later.

She's already made it clear that she's still horny today!


The kids were off doing their own thing and Suzanna and I went out to dinner to a nice local Italian restaurant where we shared most of a bottle of wine over dinner. We then came home to an empty house and actually lit a fire in the fire-pit in the backyard where we finished the first bottle and put a big dent in a second bottle. With no one at home and it being dark out, she let me undo her blouse and take off her bra out in our backyard. With it being so warm out, I took my shirt off and we kissed and made out for a while before taking the party indoors. I really wanted to get her naked outside but she resisted.

Earlier in the day and amid our passion I tried to get her to tell me what she seemed to want to tell me. She relented later in the evening after we'd finally fucked that she wanted me to talk to Dan about coming to the nude beach with us; apparently this is something she wants to do!

I told her, "sure" and really didn't think much more about it but today I'm still getting a feeling there's something else she has on her mind. Besides, talking to Dan about the nude beach isn't really something she needed to be having to really think about to ask me.

I guess I'll just have to wait it out.


Suzanna was amorous tonight and our foreplay revolved around the nude beach. She was happy that I was going to talk to Dan about it and that I seemed excited about going. So I was honest with her and told her that I thought it'd be something crazy for her to be there with both of us and that I had all sort of wild thoughts. She asked me to tell her about them as we messed around. Things remained under control as I told her about the suntan lotion and what other people would think and she laughed when I told her that the 2 of them would have to walk up to the snack-bar (there's one actually on the beach).

However, when I started talking about bringing the pop-up tent and how we could have some fun with it she really started getting worked up. It was almost comical, as if she hadn't thought about it before I mentioned it. Within a few moments, it went from me telling her about how they could have a quickie to us turning over (me on the bottom) and her telling me how she'd, "do Dan just like this" with her riding me and grinding herself into me. After she worked herself into a huge orgasm, she fell forward against my chest and groggily said to me, "your turn now". I grabbed her butt and kept her on top of me as I worked my own self off into her tired out pussy.

She laughed at me again as she went to clean up and when I asked her what she was laughing about she just said that I was the one who was crazy. That was about the last thing she did before falling asleep.


There is definitely something brewing that she hasn't told me about yet. She did say that she had to talk to Dan more before she would bring it up with me and from the tone of her response; I'm just going to let it wait till Friday.

This morning she saw me looking at her as she was getting ready and she turned and said, "go ahead, get your last look till Friday." With that she then went over to her dresser, pulled out a pair of panties and made a big show of pulling them up!

Over coffee just before we both went off to work I asked her about Friday and before she could really answer I told her that I was thinking that maybe I'd join them at his place and talk about the nude beach a bit. I then offered that if they wanted the rest of the night alone together, that I would take off and find something else to do. She smiled and said she'd be speaking to Dan tomorrow and would let me know but she did say ‘thank-you’ for giving her the choice.

Another thing that's come up recently was my suggestion that the Friday night thing may be difficult to continue through the summer with the kids off from school. She admitted that she too had been thinking about that and, again, that it was something she'd also be talking to Dan about.

I mentioned that maybe the every-Friday thing is a lot or too much or something like that and she answered that it was ‘all part of the same thing’ that she wants to talk to Dan about. So, I guess I'm now waiting for more than just one thing for Friday night.

There are times when I sense she doesn’t have the same enthusiasm about her weekly time with Dan; that some of those times she needs to psych herself up for her date. Usually that is where her teasing and other stuff come into play so I wonder if I wasn't so ‘into’ her being with Dan whether this would be an every-week regular thing. Still, from how she is when she comes home and afterwards in general, there doesn't seem to be any sort of dislike or discontent going on.

This is going to be an interesting weekend coming up.


We are back in our Wednesday routine for sure. Suzanna has already teased me about ‘enjoying myself’ later tonight and, true to form, she is sticking with the panties too. Just seeing her walking around the bedroom changing after work, knowing she's intentionally leaving the panties on drives me crazy with desire.

There is something incredibly arousing seeing Suzanna experiencing these sexual desires. I think after 18 years of child-raising that women in general seem to shut out the physical sexual side of their being. Dare I even say that maybe this is what is behind so many unhappy marriages? It's not just the woman either; it’s also the guy. We see so many unhappy couples who are our age and it truly seems that they've lost their sense of self and their own desires.

It is like playing with fire, that is true, but if you are not threatened by the physical side of sex (and I have really never been) then it is truly pleasurable to see her let loose and to then come back to me and let me share in her experiences. I cannot really put into words how I feel other than to say that it gives me a sense of satisfaction that I have been looking for.

She is not really into computers. She reluctantly Emails people but often takes days or weeks to reply. I have showed her a variety of stuff on the web but says she doesn't find it interesting. She also doesn't (or hasn't admitted it to me) to know the word ‘cuckold’, it isn't something I've told her and it's not a term she's used. I know she has a friend at work who she's confided in and I know that her sister may have an inkling about her. I suppose that she could be on another website just as I'm here but I don’t think so.

She's not home yet but she should have heard from Dan and maybe we can plan out tomorrow night. I'm getting turned on thinking about it and want to resist getting online later, I'm too horny to deal with too much temptation!


It is a beautiful day so that fits into plans for this evening. Dan is going to cook dinner for both Suzanna and I and we're going to spend at least the first part of the evening talking about the nude beach among other things. I even told Suzanna that I'd pick up a bottle of wine which she thought that was a nice idea and that the time to do that would give the two of them a bit of time together before I get there.

She was very open and honest when she asked if I would OK leaving early so that the 2 of them could have some alone-time. I told her I would be okay about it. As I said, sometimes I feel like a 5th wheel when I am there and they are being amorous. I did not ask any more about what she seemed to be pre-occupied with earlier this week that she needed to talk to Dan more about.


Friday night was kind of funny in some ways. First, I got there about 7pm; Suzanna had been there for a while and I honestly was surprised that she was still dressed when I got there. I have gotten so used to her enjoying being nude with him that it was almost weird to see her still dressed. Things were VERY cordial, almost friendly even. Maybe Suzanna being clothed took a bit of the edge off of things between the 3 of us. Dan had the grill going and they were already into a first bottle of wine when I arrived. I found a glass and joined them in drinking.

Suzanna actually broke the ice by opening up the whole subject of the nude beach. I laughed tp myself when Dan showed his true feelings by saying, "I'm not getting naked with a bunch of fags around...." or something like that. That turned into a whole big discussion about just how innocuous the nude-beach is, how the gays hang at one end and how the other end is mostly normal folks (singles and couples) and even how the back ‘edge’ of the beach is very secluded. Suzanna was very open about how she was nervous at first when we went there but how she really loves it now. I joked with them about what everyone will think if it's the 3 of us. Dan asked if we'd really bring the little pop-up tent and he didn't come out and say it but he did look at Suzanna when he said that and she smiled and just said something like, "oh yeah, we can have fun".

We were out on his deck most of this time and the steaks were cooking the whole time. Between the wine and the talking the mood was very ‘up’. Dinner was friendly and cordial with talk of Father’s Day and such. Found out that Dan never had any kids and his father passed away many years ago.

After dinner, maybe about 9pm or so, things got a bit awkward as it became pretty obvious that they wanted to be alone. Suzanna came over to me and kissed me and asked me if I was okay about leaving and such. This is what I was saying at the start of this entry, this has become MUCH easier for me; to accept and even embrace that they want to be with each other. Still, I have to say that despite it being easier there are still pangs of anxiety and angst knowing I'm leaving them to have sex the rest of the night. Dan left us alone as we kissed our goodbyes and she promised me she'd be home early (without hanging at the bar, they had more time together). I asked her privately then what she wanted to talk to me about and she said that she would tell me after they'd discussed it more. As we kissed again she reached down and felt my cock was pretty hard and she giggled, patted my cock through my pants and said, "Wait for me".

I didn't go straight home. I had a nice buzz from the wine so I stopped at a go-go bar that I knew of on the way home and spent about 2 hours there having fun slipping dollar bills and getting a few squeezes of the dancers’ tits and one even let me put my hand down her g-string to give her a dollar (it was pretty erotic, I could feel she was shaved bare!). Suzanna actually texted me that she was on her way home so I left the bar and we both arrived home within maybe 15 minutes of each other. The kids were both long asleep but we were quiet anyway.

We talked a bit about the evening as we both undressed. She came over to me and asked me if I wanted to take her panties off (finally!) and as I did so I revealed her wet and used pussy. She giggled as we lay back on the bed and she teased me about me ‘wanting to see her’ after which she spread her legs for me. I can't remember everything that was said, suffice to say that she had me wicked hard and almost begging to let me have her finally. Between her teasing and the dancers at the bar I was quite horny and didn't last long. As we lay there afterwards she said, "Happy Day before Fathers Day" (that I do remember!) as it was already after 1am on Saturday.

I asked her whether we could finally talk about whatever was on her mind and she asked if it could wait till Saturday. She said she'd be more comfortable and wanted to leave the evening as something nice. I was tired enough and had already waited enough that another few hours wasn't going to matter, besides, the wine and beer was getting to me.


Saturday morning it worked out well for us to have time to talk because both kids had things to go to so we had the house to ourselves.

Apparently over the last few weeks, Suzanna and Dan have been talking quite a bit about me! Specifically, Suzanna explaining to Dan that I wanted to feel more of being a part of the two of them. She said that once Dan sort of got the hang of what I had explained and said he started to come up with some things on his own too.

Suzanna was honest with me and said that she was actually leaning towards something that they'd discussed in the past too, that she (and he) would occasionally like to see each other outside of the ‘every Friday’ routine. She said to me that Dan was still as vocal as he has been about really disliking knowing that she'd had sex with me.

I started to say something when she said, "he just doesn't like thinking of you and me. It turns him off thinking that you cum in me.” I started to respond to this when she said, "But I told him that I wasn't ready for that yet" and apparently this is what their discussion was about; instead of what did she/they want.

Now she did keep on asking me, "are you sure you really want this?" I don’t remember exactly how she asked me but instead of her fumbling with words I just told her something like, "you know what I want to feel; you with him".

She said that she had been discussing with Dan how I could maybe have sex with her after she was done with him. She asked me if that was something that I wanted, to have her ‘right away’ afterwards. I had to control myself from being so eager for this and kept myself calm, “yeah, I would love that".

She then said to me that I may have to do something that I wasn't comfortable about to have that happen. I told her that I expected that I was going to again ‘feel’ something. So she said that Dan's not going to change how he feels about me having sex with her at his place. So she said to me, "how will you be if we do it at our house instead?"

I wasn't necessarily ready for that question but Suzanna reminded me that in July, both kids will be away for a week so we could do it then. She said to me that she knew how the last time he was at our house that it bothered me that they'd had sex in our bed. She looked at me to gauge my reaction and then said that she would want to do it again in our bed (she later told me that this was something Dan had suggested would push my buttons and could be something to tease me with). Then came the clincher, "this time we won't be using rubbers either!".

I started to hem and haw as it brought back all sorts of ill feelings from when they'd done this the first time and how bothered me. Suzanna saw this, I guess from the look, on my face and she came to me and it was, maybe, the first time I'd seen her really take on the role of cuckoldress. She came close and took my hand in hers and literally talked me into it. She said while this was Dan's idea at first that the more she'd thought about it, the more she liked the idea. She did say that if I was really against it, that she'd simply tell him that they'd/we'd just use our guest-room/office but as she held me tightly and kissed me she cooed in my ear things like, "just think how messy I'll be afterwards," and, "you can have me right after he's done if you want". As she did this she reached down and undid my pants and she was still talking as she started to stroke me. She told me that she knew it had bothered me that they'd used our bed that first time and she said how silly I was and that she thought this would be something fun and that might get me over my issues with it. She giggled at how my cock kept getting harder and harder and starting to drip pre-cum as she kept talking.

I asked her how Dan was going to feel when it was my turn and she just said, "He’ll be okay if he's had me first, he doesn't care about it then".

I think if she would have kept talking and stroking that I'd have cum in her hands, instead she pulled me down onto our bed and told me that we should ‘practice’ a bit. I was so horny that I didn't need to be asked twice. Just when I thought I was simply going to start to fuck her she sort of pushed me to one side and said, "oh no, remember, you get seconds" and with that she reached into her night-stand and pulled out ‘Jim’ her jelly-dildo and said, "Jim goes first".

For the next few minutes she proceeded to fuck herself silly with the dildo before I took over handling it so she could more easily get to her orgasm. Needless to say it kept me on edge as I fucked her with the dildo till she screamed. I love seeing her orgasm like that and I could tell it was an intense one because for a few moments there the dildo was clamped in place by her pussy tightening on it as she orgasmed. Finally she relaxed a bit and let me slide it out of her. I put some lubricant on and as soon as I pulled it out of her I just said, "My turn" and I pushed into her. I was already worked up enough but she said stuff to me and it didn't take me long to orgasm myself which brought a squeal of delight from her.

As we lay there still together she looked up at me and said, "are you going to be okay with that; or is it too much?"

I caught my breath and just told her that I thought it would okay.

She asked me if it was something that was sort of in-line with what I was wanting?

I told her that it was and while it wasn't something I'd thought about, now that the idea had sunk in a bit more, that I thought it would be okay.


Now, 3 days later, I am a bit torn on it. A part of me says I should be okay about this and even be looking forward to wanting it; another part of me still has this thing about doing it in our own bed. I guess maybe I'm concerned that if it doesn't work out good for me that it might bother me in the future when it's just Suzanna and I and I can't forget about it. On the other hand I know, as a cuckold, it's something that I will probably be okay with and may even come to like.

So, that's the whole ‘big thing’ that was hanging over her head. She knew how it had bothered me last time they did this but that she also knew from what I'd told her that it was something I wanted to feel and experience. Something she (and Dan) thought that afterwards was something we would all enjoy.

Maybe it's not a big thing but this is another of those things that are on the border of my comfort zone. Nonetheless, I think I still want to experience.


I know that I'm probably acting crazy in attaching so much significance to it happening in our marital bed especially when Suzanna seems to think nothing of it. I've written about this before, on one hand it bothers me but I fully admit that on the other it is exciting to think about. Even now there times when I think back to when they did it the first time (when Suzanna and I are fucking and at other times when we're just lying there watching TV) and I guess it marks one of those lines that you just cross and not really think about after that. I mean is it really that big a deal?

Then I think about how Dan is and how he doesn't want me to have sex with Suzanna in his house much less to have her in his bed!

I know it's something that Suzanna had felt was silly for me to be all concerned about and that it probably didn't take much for Dan to talk her into this ... as if he even needed to!

This won't happen until sometime in July when the kids will both be away. I guess that until then, Suzanna will have her fun taunting me about this.

I will add that the idea of me finally having her right after Dan is done with her is incredibly exciting and has me hard even right now just thinking about this.


Last night I was having my own ‘bit of fun’ and then decided to watch some TV with Suzanna before bed. I used to feel weird going in to be with her after she knows I've been masturbating but now it feels nice, she just smiles and asks, “Are you good now?" She makes it very clear that she likes that I do so.

I wonder if I made it seem like I was over-reacting regarding our ‘marital bed’ but nonetheless it isn't a step that I want them to take, at least not just yet. The question actually came to a head on Tuesday night. I knew we were going to have sex after we got back from our ********’s graduation ceremony especially with Suzanna taking yesterday off from work.

We were getting turned on and Suzanna was going into her teasing mode. She continued with what she'd started and told me that, "you have to wait" and she got Jim out again. She told me to kneel there and watch her ‘get fucked’ (I knew she was horny when she used the f-word). She made it a point to use a bit of lubricant and teased me with what you can expect, "you get me next," and, "I'll be all wet for you".

I was rock hard watching her bring herself off with the dildo and when she pulled it out she said, "okay, your turn". I was on her in a flash and I let my mind go with what she was saying. I really loved being in her so soon after her own orgasm and I let my mind go beyond what she was saying, to what it'll be like if it had been Dan in her.

I was not surprised to hear as I thought of her and him at that moment and how she'll feel (on top of what she was saying) that I let loose in her like crazy. She squealed and told me how hot my cum felt in her.

Afterwards as I lay there next to her and looked down at her to her pussy and the wet-spot below it that I started to think about what will be after she and Dan have their fun and that it's his wet-spot.

Suzanna must have sensed something was up because she rolled over towards me and said, "what's up?” I didn't even need to say anything, she just said, "you know, I won't do anything you don’t want me to?”

I looked at her (I can even say that I might have been on the edge of a tear or two in my eye) and just said, "I don’t think I want you and him in our bed.".

As I was looking down at that point she put her finger under my chin and pulled my head up and just said, "if you Don’t want us to do that then just say so; you just need to tell me " then after a minute she said something that made me feel a lot better, she said, and I quote, "I like just my Fridays with him but I thought you wanted more than that. If you don’t, just tell me.”

I guess maybe a few minutes went by of us hugging and such; she felt so good next to me feeling her body against mine. She looked at me and asked if I was okay with what was going on. I told her that I loved what I was feeling towards her. She smiled and said that she was still not sure of what she should and shouldn't be doing but added that she liked the changes in me and mentioned she felt that there was more passion between us.

It was one of those moments when it just felt right between us and I just came out and said that I wasn't sure how I felt about it being her AND Dan figuring out what was happening. She giggled and said that I was being crazy and I pushed her to tell me more.

What she told me surprised me a bit. She says that she did share with Dan what I was looking for and that Dan said that he'd help her out if she wanted. She went to him a few weeks ago when I brought it out in the open that I wanted them together and for her to do more. It was then they started to think about what more I might want. She said Dan thinks it's funny that I actually want more between them and she said that at one point he actually said that it seems I want them together more than they want it at times!

She said they've talked about me a lot. Dan is surprised that I am so agreeable to his desires. She said that when she told him that she'd started wearing panties at home that it was Dan who was worried that might be a step too far then added, "but you said that turns you on, right?”

It went on for a little longer ending with Suzanna telling me again that she'd never do anything to hurt me and that if I didn't (or did want something) that I just need to tell her. Then almost immediately she said, "so our bedroom is out; don’t worry about it," to which I answered that I still wanted them to come here and that I did still want her right afterwards. She giggled at that and said, "of course, that's why I want us to be here!”

So, unless she's giving me a line of nonsense which I don’t think she is, then I think I'm going to be okay. I had a crazy thought that maybe I'll surprise them when they're here and if it feels right to suggest they use our bed. There is a part of me that would like to experience that but it won't be something I decide until that moment.

There's more that she shared with me yesterday that I haven't written about here yet; more about her and Dan and me. Some of it's even funny. I think I may have had the wrong impression of him and his ‘issues’.


I believe that had I not opened up and asked Suzanna to do more with Dan, that she would have kept that same position as last September.

From what she's said and I've experienced she is looking beyond just Fridays with Dan as a way to fulfil my requests for her to do more with Dan. I believe her because, as I had previously written, before I opened up to her she had given me inklings that maybe things were reaching a plateau or had reached a comfort-point with her. She hadn't suggested anything beforehand.

She reminded me that she should be getting her period so tonight will be the last with Dan. I don’t think she's going to see him next week what with the July 4th and her period so I'm sure we'll have time to sort things out more then.

Tonight, I'm going to leave them alone. Our son will be at graduation parties and our ******** will be at a friend’s house so I'll have the house to myself until she gets home. Maybe I'll lie in our bed and try to imagine how I'll feel if I do give in and ‘let’ them use our bed.

I don’t believe that Suzanna feels very inhibited around me anymore. At first with Peter, yes, but as that wore on she became less and less concerned with my presence. I think I’m seeing the same pattern with Dan. I can't say for sure but I suspect that perhaps my presence inhibits the both of them together. It's really okay with me but I don’t think I would want to be there every time. It’s something I like of using my imagination and then having Suzanna fill in the blanks.


I know long ago even when Suzanna and I were first dating, that my favourite stories in Penthouse Letters that I would masturbate to were the ones about ‘naughty wives’. I think deep down I have really always sought a sexy woman who would be my loving spouse but at the same time enjoy sex to its fullest, even with other guys. I am sure it is one of the things that attracted me to Suzanna in the first place, that she went with and fucked many other guys.

Even now, as in last night when she came home, there’s something about knowing she'd had sex just a little while earlier that just keeps me on edge. Ever since I first had sex with a woman and then after two experiences early on in college, I have always been fascinated by women who openly enjoyed sex. In that sense it is great to see this be re-awakened in Suzanna.

I think I'm looking for reassurances from Suzanna that no matter how far we may go with this that she will be there for me. I might even say that if I knew there were no risks that I wouldn't pull on the reins and would encourage and let go and see where the ride goes but, at the same time, there’s no harm in admitting that I do have fears about where the ride goes and the risks that are yet to come if we do so.

She let me undress her last night knowing her body had been used by Dan; knowing she'd undoubtedly had many an orgasm earlier. As she lay back on the bed with me and when I think about her still being wet from him, and that in a moment I'll get to share that feeling with her, my god, it is like such an incredible turn-on that I almost fear if I focus on it too much, I'd simply bring myself to orgasm way too soon!

I will say that I guess a part of me does feel weird in that I ‘should’ care that she fucks another guy. Maybe that's the whole society/upbringing thing, what is a norm is a norm to you. I wonder if there are other societies where this isn't so. I guess the Eskimos had a bit of it. Legend has it that Eskimo tradition was to let your wife fuck any male visitor who may be there. That may have made sense long ago to keep the genetic lineage diverse in otherwise isolated societies.

For me, it doesn't feel weird any longer (and that feels weird that it doesn't feel weird) that she fucks Dan. At times I look at her when we’re not doing anything specific and all I can think about is that she lets him fuck her all the time; that she shares her pussy, willingly, with him. I think it should make most husbands cringe but I love knowing it.

Last night, her lying on our bed, just knowing Dan had been in her and had cum in her probably several times, instantly turned me on.

She now knows it and thinks it's crazy too but, then again, I think we are both now well past the stage of questioning it. She makes no secret of enjoying it and then, as in last night, letting me enjoy it too.

I just love how her pussy feels ‘open’ when she's done with Dan (or after she's done with me or with ‘Jim’ her dildo). I know I love her when she's feeling tight and such but there is such an eroticism to feeling her after she's had sex; such an erotic feeling knowing her pussy has been filled till she orgasmed. I honestly think it's that feeling in her that I crave or enjoy even more than feeling Dan's (or my own) cum in her if that makes any sense.

Last night she seemed to truly enjoy lying back on the bed and pulling her knees up and apart and showing me her used pussy; swollen, engorged, dark pink on the outside and brighter red on the inside. Somehow seeing her open (not gaping open) and seeing her vagina simply open as she spread her legs was such a turn-on. It was like it was calling and welcoming me. She was wet but I knew she'd also be tender so I put a little lubricant on and just teased her opening. She squealed as I pushed just the head of my cock in and out. That's where that open feeling is most felt in her there's just no resistance, she just opens up to accept me as I push into her. Despite that I could have plunged all the way into her in one easy thrust I held back, I actually wanted to enjoy feeling her. I rubbed the wet tip of my cock spreading the lubricant and whatever was left from Dan all around before pushing back into her. Damn, I'm horny again just writing this.

She kept talking in short bursts, "you like how I feel, don’t you?" she said over and over. Each time I'd answer her with, "you feel awesome". I can't even think of the other things she'd spur me on with. I guess that's another thing about the furtive sex at 1:15 am, it's more of a physical desire than it is that we need to talk to each other. Once we're started, it's much more moaning and short one-word outbursts like, "mmmm" or "harder" or "oh yes". I just know at the end that I was literally balls-deep in her with her legs spread as far apart and as far back as they'd go. I don’t know if it's the back of her pussy that I'm feeling but in that position it feels as if I am filling her to the brim. She says that she can feel the heat inside her when I cum in that position and it almost always drives her over the edge too. Last night was no different; I would have had to crawl up inside her to be any deeper than I was and it is at that moment, when I can't hold off any longer, I let my mind go to thinking about Dan cumming in her not an hour or two earlier and after a 2 day wait, I finally get the moment I truly want.

She says when we fuck after she comes home from Dan that our sex is ‘more intense’ that she even admits that she feels me more and that she feels more in touch with me than other times. She says she can feel the desire in me. That's obviously not all because she says when I cum in her and there's that much desire that she says she can feel me more too.

I lay against her afterwards and she was giggling at how hot and sweaty we'd gotten in just 15 or so minutes and that the breeze from the A/C felt good. I got up and cleaned up and then brought her a washcloth. She smiled and said thank-you and then proceeded to spread herself open again and clean up. Last night was one of those nights where I just seemed to stare when normally I'd go and get her a towel next. Sometimes she'll be a little inhibited but not last night. She wiped up and as I watched she seemed to bear down with her muscles and damn if a huge ripple of cum didn't ooze out of her and all I could think was that it looked like more than I'd just deposited in her! She saw me looking and giggled and just said, "seems like you were both pretty horny tonight!”

This morning she's happy as a lark. She's out in the pool with our ******** who came home about an hour ago and I'm heading out there now. I'm sure she knows it but seeing her lying on the raft in the pool turns me on knowing the pussy she so freely shares is covered by just a thin layer of cotton and polyester.


Neither Suzanna nor Dan has uttered the word cuckold to me, nor have I shared that title with them. I suspect they may know the colloquial definition of this, but at this point, I don’t see either of them knowingly associating it with what we're doing. Suzanna has an active dislike of computers and only reluctantly sends emails and such outside of what she does at work. I cannot speak for Dan, I suspect he is merely enjoying what fate has cast in his direction. I mentioned that he's been involved in swinging in the past so sexual diversity is probably not something he's unfamiliar with.

I have been thinking about the possible situation of Dan fucking Suzanna in our marriage bed since that is the only way I can get sloppy seconds immediately instead of waiting for her to get back home after she has fucked him in his bed. I am envisaging that after Dan cums and is fully drained inside Suzanna that he slips out and Suzanna then rolls from her side onto her back and allows me to penetrate her loose pussy filled with Dan's cum as I push his cum inside her and mix mine with his. I suspect that when it does finally happen at our house in a few weeks from now, that it will be much more explicit than what I've been witness to between them before. By that I mean some of the familiarity of home-turf will change the balance in their time together and may allow me to play more of a role either during, or definitely just afterwards.

The thought may be a bit too much for me but I do expect to have her almost immediately after Dan pulls out of her. However it may happen, it is something that I want to experience and I definitely believe it is also something that Suzanna wants. I know from how she's said to me that she is sad that Dan doesn't want me to do so in his place and it was something she emphasized when we did talk about it.

As I have already written, it isn't so much that I want to feel his cum in her (I've felt that before) it’s more that I really want to feel is how her body and how her pussy feels just after he's pulled out of her. Suzanna well knows that is a sensation I truly want to feel in her.

She did tease me a bit more about my feelings about our marital bed. Nothing really bad, more I think of her testing the waters to see if I'm really that opposed to it. At one point she asked if a wet-spot from Dan is what would be bothering me and I told her that wasn't it at all. Then again, I feel like I've traded places with her on this one, I thought it was the women who were supposed to feel all sentimental and emotional about stuff like this. She's ready to let him have her there tomorrow if I'd be okay with it. She did say to me that if I still didn't want it that it wouldn't be a problem. She joked and giggled, "we'll just use every other room in the house!".


Our lives have ups and downs just like everyone else’s; as a matter of fact, we're in the midst of a bit of an argument for the past 2 days. I'm thinking its PMS-period induced as she just flew off the handle at stuff about the kids and responsibilities. One time,when I tried to side with the kids, she turned on me! However, all in all, the positives outweigh the negatives; Suzanna and I believe it's all in your attitude and outlook on life in general. What's the saying about lemons and lemonade...? It transcends everything you do if you think about it and from what I can see a real positive/fun/fulfilling thing in one part of your lives (sex for us) can make the rest seem all that much better.


We've already been discussing lots about what happens when the kids are gone. Just this past weekend Suzanna said she'd really like to plant some more taller bushes at the rear of our property so she can lie out and sunbathe and swim in the nude during the daytime instead of the furtive skinny-dipping we'll do now late at night. I teased her that she'd better make sure the wind isn't blowing and opening up between the bushes we do have or the teenagers next-door may have quite some fun. She joked back that maybe she'd enjoy giving them a show!

I have had some revelations about my own desires over the past few days but I'll wait till our little tiff cools off before I share them with her. What I think I've realized is that it's not the ‘in your face’ stuff that turns me on like what she did in the bar that night, or the whole ‘marital bed’ thing. Instead, I believe that it's knowing what she's doing and knowing that I have to wait for her that is most arousing to me.

I do believe that we will probably at least explore how I feel when she says she just wants to be with Dan. She hasn't said it but I know that her comment about maybe wanting to see him more somehow will translate into her wanting to be ‘clean’ for him.

I had thought Dan was different in that he wanted that with her but it seems he might be harbouring a desire to be the only one to cum in her; something that I’ve read is actually not so uncommon. I hadn't really thought about that before, thinking this was something Suzanna was more doing ‘for him’ but now I realize that he probably would prefer that. I know though that Suzanna isn't sure about this because I know she values both our sex together as well as that she does ‘love’ to have me (or Dan) cum in her. She feels it's an important part of sex.

As I said, I do want to let go of the reins and agree to whatever she's asking for but I don’t know that I’m quite ready yet. Perhaps after I share my revelation with her and I can feel more confident that our desires may be a bit more in sync and then I’ll feel better about letting her be in the driver’s seat.

Decisions like this are both of ours to make. I am not a guy who can cede total control to her, that's just not in my make-up. Even if she does want Dan more often, I don’t believe I am near ready to say okay and that I either won't have sex with her or won't cum in her again for a long period of time. I think if I had my choice I would willingly give her more time with him but that I would still want her at least once a week or perhaps once every other week.

Another thing we also discussed that she's coming to understand is that when she denies me (or however it happens that she wants to wait for Dan) that it doesn't so much hurt as turn me on. She now understands that the more denial I experience, the more passionate and satisfying the sex is when we do have it next. It's what makes Friday nights so intense for me, not just knowing she'll come home used, etc., but the almost 3 days of desire that I share with her for days after she comes home. I think she truly values that time too which is why I say that I don’t think she is ready to say ‘only Dan’ at any point in the near future.


We’re coming up soon on the week of July 11th when the kids will both be away. I already know that he's coming to our house sometime during that week. I'm thinking Friday (kids are gone till late on Saturday) will be when so it'll be interesting to see what happens the rest of that week. I know how things would usually go when the kids are away, that we'd be going at it all week, so it'll be interesting to see what happens this time 'round.

I can say that at this point that I don’t think I'm ready to be relegated to once-a-week on a full-time basis. I do know that the weeks when her period has ended late, that I've had to wait and the sex was positively explosive when I did finally have her. So in my mind it is a consolation that if it does go down to once-a-week, it will be quite good!


We have 4 more years before our youngest is out of the house off to college. I doubt Suzanna will still be seeing Dan after that much time but I really don’t know. I suppose if they are still seeing each other after then things will have already moved in whatever direction they'll go in; too early to speculate.

To be honest, I'm not certain how long I would want all this to go on for. I’m not sure if it's something that will grow old or that we'll grow out of. For the moment there is still more that I want to feel and experience with all of this.

I suppose things might be considered as reversed, that it is Dan being cucked. I tend to not think that way because it's me that Suzanna doesn't have sex with in preparation for her to be with Dan, not the other way around.

Suzanna mentioned seeing him more often, but I don’t know how that would work given his work-schedule and locations. Unless anything changes, he travels during the week and is only available on Fridays and the weekend.

Until recently, I hadn't thought that it was all that common that ‘bulls’ think this way; that they don’t want other guys, even husbands, to be cumming in their women. I had long thought that this was more of an extreme stance and that most lovers would be happy with just that, being a lover, but I am since learning that this isn't all that uncommon. I guess my perspective on this is a bit tainted since back in college I have always fantasized about sloppy-seconds. Still, I guess there are guys who are even turned off even by their own cum in their partner. I think I can go along with Suzanna being ‘clean’ for when she sees Dan but I don’t see her acquiescing to his phobia about me having her at all!

I think that I'm going to hold off on initiating things with her or saying/suggesting things of my own direction which I’m guessing is as much guidance as she may need!


Suzanna's still on her monthly. She's confident we'll be back in the sack by Sunday though so that's a plus to look forward to, especially with a holiday on Monday. She informed me that Dan has gone away for the long weekend with some friends so they won't be together till the end of next week. It’s the following week is when they will be coming here together in our house. Time is flying by, that's for sure!


Our 4th was very nice. We were invited to a neighbour for a barbeque and the kids went over early to help them setup giving us about an hour alone. We'd talked on Saturday and Suzanna had said that for the 4th she just wanted it to be us, no teasing or other stuff. We opened a bottle of wine and had a glass before the kids even left. Maybe it was knowing we had today off but Suzanna was really relaxed and quite horny from lying in the sun (and wishing she could have been lying out nude) she says she gets horny lying in the sun and letting her mind go.

It's afternoons like yesterday that let me know that there is no loss of love and passion between us. Feeling her under me pulling me towards her as I slowly enter her, both of us looking down at her pussy sucking my cock deeper and deeper. With the kids out of the house and several glasses of wine, Suzanna was totally into it and pulled me harder and deeper into her all the while moaning louder and louder.

The look in her eyes as she looked at me, the feel of her next to me. The feeling of us as one is just something that was incredible. She moaned my name over and over and I was equally just as focused on her feeling her body next to me and around me. I honestly believe that for as long as it took for us to finally cum together that neither of us thought of anything other than each other. Afterwards, lying there together, whether she feels that with Dan or not, I know how it felt with her and it was incredible.

We even dozed off together for a few minutes before washing up and heading next door to see our friends and some other folks who were there. We intended to stay till about 7pm and then go with our kids to a nearby fireworks show. The whole time we were at the neighbours every time I saw Suzanna standing there talking to someone or another all I could think of was that she was probably still wet from me as she stood there talking so nonchalantly. It was funny when I told her that before we went to bed last night. She giggled and accused me of not masturbating enough with how much I'd cum in her. She said that she had to go ‘clean-up’ while we were next door earlier!

Earlier tonight we were watching some TV when during a commercial break she started to ask me about next week and if I'd had any more thoughts about it. I asked her what she wanted and she just said, "You know what I'd like". Before the show resumed I hit the remote pause button.

I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty tired and to be honest, I wasn't really in the mood to get into all of this so I just said to her that I was surprised it was what she wanted. Before she could really answer I just said something like, "I don’t know if I like it being quite so 'in my face'".

The look on her face made me scramble to try to explain what I meant and in doing so I think I got it across to her that I didn't want things to be quite so explicit. I told her that I would rather know of what she's doing more at times rather than wanting to necessarily see or be a part of it.

She was honest and said that it was something that seemed to make sense to her and a moment or so later she had this smile on her face, moved over next to me and hugged me. She took the remote from my hand and hit play. At the next commercial I asked her if she was okay about everything and she smiled and said she was and she made it a point of thanking me for explaining how I felt.

I don’t think that Suzanna really engages in the type of pillow-talk with Dan as we do. From the few times I've seen them together, I don’t feel that's something they do. Peter was different and she's told me so several times as a comparison to make me not be all concerned, etc. From what she's said I think that their conversations about me were not ones that were in bed during passionate sex. I suspect that their talking was afterwards and from what she's described they'll sometimes lie there and he'll ask if she's going to tell me what they did Sometimes she'll start the conversation as she says that she feels less inhibited after sex to let herself be able to talk to him about me.


The last night of fun was Wednesday and rather than letting me spend my time alone on the computer, Suzanna asked me to, "wait till later" last night. About 10:30pm we went up to the bedroom and she stood by the bed and as she changed for bed. She took off her panties and asked me if I'd like ‘the real thing’ to masturbate to rather than look at something on the Internet. I smiled and told her, “sure.”

She proceeded to lie back against the headboard and spread her legs apart. As she proceeded to masturbate herself she encouraged me on at the same time. At one point she pulled out a dildo from the nightstand and let me watch her fuck herself with it. It was dark-coloured so I could see her wetness on it. She asked how I liked watching and when I told her it was incredibly erotic she said, "Just think how you'll like it next week".

As I got closer she continued her teasing, telling me at times how Dan was going to fuck her and how I should imagine it being his cock in her instead of her dildo. When I was really close she told me that I should move over closer to her and when I was ready, that I should cum on the dildo! I did my best and got a few spurts on it and as she pushed it back into her covered with my stuff she reached orgasm herself! We both laughed at each other afterwards at what a mess we'd made and she asked me if I was, "happy now".

I laughed back and said, "For now" and that's when she said that maybe I should do it again (masturbate again) in a little bit if I was still horny; she even offered to help me!

Sure enough, she reached over about 20 minutes later and gave my cock a tug and when she felt it respond she said, "are you ready?” I pulled the blankets down and let her watch me get it hard again and that's when she leaned over and said, "I’ll help you" and she put her lips over the tip of my cock and gently started sucking. Basically she wanted me to masturbate into her mouth and she encouraged me by licking the tip and sucking at me as I got closer. When she knew I was about to burst she pushed my hand away and sucked me into her mouth.

What a sensation! I let loose with as big a load as I could for the 2nd time so quickly. She moaned and squealed but caught it all in her mouth and a moment later she moved up and kissed me passionately and snowballed with me. Feeling her tongue on mine spreading my cum around was quite erotic!


Suzanna just finished confirming plans for tomorrow. It is going to be an early evening as Dan has a flight out of Newark really early on Saturday. I asked if she was still going over and she just said, "of course silly," then a moment later added, "that just means more time for us when I get home!”

We did talk a bit too about the whole marital bed thing. I came out and told her that I have this thing about it being where we conceived our kids. She looks at it as where we've had our most intense sex and she just doesn't seem to have much emotion tied up in it. It was funny because after we'd been talking about it back and forth that we both, after a pause, said almost the exact same thing at the exact same time, "well, if you feel that strongly about it....” With me almost giving in to her desire to do it while she was acquiescing to my desire not to.

It was funny when it happened (we haven't really discussed it since) which leaves me in the awkward position of having given-in to her in a way..

I do suppose that after last night that maybe it would be something hot and erotic. I mean it would be a turn-on to have true seconds in our own bed. On the other hand....


Suzanna came home early last night (about 11pm) as expected; I was home earlier and as has become a norm for Fridays, our son was out till all hours of the morning and our ******** was sleeping over a friend’s house.

We'd talked briefly yesterday morning before she left for work (she wondered why I was so tired) and she said she was concerned about Dan. When they spoke on Thursday and confirmed things she said he sounded really down. So I expected she might not have been her usual upbeat self when she came in and I was right. He said he was really upset that the prognosis of his sister in-law had given zero chance of recovery and that some sort of infection had set in that she may not have long even in the state she was in.

From her demeanour I suspected that her evening hadn’t been the usual really physical night she'd had with Dan. From how she spoke, it was more of them making-love than just fucking.

To be honest, I'm okay with that. I know that Suzanna is a really giving person; always concerned about others including me (obviously) and ****** and such. I knew when she told me how Dan was that she was going to console him.

As we got into bed and she started to suck me a bit she told me that for the first time she'd really sucked Dan for a long time. Looking down on her sucking me I could almost feel how she must have been soothing him as she excited him at the same time. Suzanna's not one to really give blow-jobs, not to me and not to Dan or even Peter, so for her to really spend some time doing it for Dan was something she wanted to give to him.

She was very wet and made no secret that Dan had fucked her twice, including telling me that the last one she gave herself to him and just let him fuck her as he ‘needed to’. She told him not to worry about her (she also told me that she'd cum enough times by then) but it was how she told me of how he really took his time and how he seemed to need to be deep in her that really got me turned on. I know that feeling so well, when you just need to be really deep in her, it's like her pussy almost sucks at your cock along the whole length.

She willingly got onto her back on the bed once I pulled her panties off. Seeing how red and swollen and wet she looked just made me want her that much more. As we started to get our own rhythm going she told me the same as she'd told Dan earlier, that she'd cum a lot already and that she'd ‘be there with me’ when I'd finally cum but that I should do it for me.

I knew that when she told me he was really deep in her that she'd be very wet deep in her pussy and I was right. The deeper I pushed and the more I pulled back, the wetter she became. I pushed her legs back and had her knees up against my elbows. She looked up at me and just said, "this is how Dan wanted me too."

Man, that did it, just her saying that to me seemed to cause her vagina to just open up inside. Her back arched a bit more and I was able to plunge into her balls-deep. In my mind I played back the vision of Dan being this deep in her and how she must have cum under him as he built up to his own climax just as I was. I don’t even really remember all of what she said but whatever she did, it got me to the edge and then, just looking down at how wet it was where I was going in and out, that was it, I let loose. Sometimes it's a lot of little spurts but not last night, it felt like one big gusher in her. True to her word, just as I let loose with that huge spurt, she squealed and in an instant wrapped her legs around my back, pulled me in and held me as I finished in her.

We lay there sweating and panting. She rolled over and kissed me and said she loved me and then said, “we are very lucky". As we washed up she continued saying how lucky she was to have me and Dan but also how lucky we've been as a ****** to have avoided tragedy like Dan was experiencing. I was listening to her but my eyes were glued to her gently washing her well-used pussy.

She's already told me several times today that she's horny. We were lying around the pool earlier and she teased me by saying that I should think of her lying there and how there's just a thin piece of material between me and her pussy, adding, "just like my panties....". It was all I could think about after that seeing her lying there and thinking of her nakedness under the suit.

We haven't really talked about much else since the kids have been around all day including our son's girlfriend who, no doubt, he's fucking too. Suzanna agrees, she says she can see it on the girl’s face and how she acts around him. She may even have a word with her about being safe!

Time to go fire up the barbeque and hopefully hide my hard-on when the girls are around.


Another book filled!