Journal of a Journey - Book 83

After Paul had left us on Saturday night I had sex with Suzanna. I had no expectations when we went to bed of doing so as I thought at first when she cuddled up that she just wanted to be close. However, when she asked me if I wanted to fuck her I admit that I hesitated, thinking this was now off-limits but then I asked myself how many more opportunities would there be for me to have sex with her like this.

In the event it was more like she was giving me a 'thank you gift' for she seemed to be thrilled from how I was behaving with Paul and that she wanted to show her appreciation. Whatever her reasons it was fine by me and I looked at her briefly as I pulled the covers back and again I was just so entranced at looking at her knowing she was just fucking her lover not 30 minutes earlier. Her nipples were that darkened reddish purple colour and her pussy was as swollen and used-looking as I've ever seen.

She didn't flaunt anything and she didn't really tease much as I quickly got into bed with her and she giggled that my hard-on confirmed that I needed her. I like to think that she felt I needed her and to be honest, at that moment as I felt her warm body next to mine, I really did need her.

We didn't do much in terms of foreplay; we kissed, she gently stroked me and smiled at how hard I was. She spread her legs and I ran my hand upwards and she let me play with her for a few moments before she said to me that she didn't think she was going to cum again but that she wanted me to. A moment later she tugged on my cock and told me to climb on top of her .. just like Paul had done. I did as she asked and, just the same as Paul had done, I ran my cockhead up and down her and as her juices (and his cum?) began to seep out her pussy began to open and I'd push into her more and more with each swipe.

In my head, just the thought that Paul was in her where I was about to be was really incredible to feel again. I can't explain it but I felt it so strongly as I pushed into her; I loved that she'd let another man in her. As I pushed into her more deeply and pulled back, she got wetter and wetter and I guess I began to spread the semen Paul had left in her. She was tight for just a moment and then as the wetness spread, she became just a wet envelope that I pushed into over and over again.

She sighed softly with pleasure and told me that I felt good even after having been with Paul. Just hearing her say it as if it were nothing turned me on like crazy! Then she shifted downward in the bed and pulled her legs back a bit more and as I felt her move it took me only a second to explode inside her! As I felt myself about to let go I realised that it was being one less time that I'll feel her this way, the thought pushed me to the edge and I let go in her. She moaned deeply and I think may have even cum a bit as I pushed gently into her until I was through. I knew she wouldn't want me to go hog-wild and try to get her to cum one last time.

I slipped out of her and we lay next to each other on the bed for a moment. We kissed and I got the urge to work my way down her body and maybe go down on her and lick her pussy. The smell of cum in the air and her lying naked next to me with the knowledge that I'd had thirds gave me such a yearning but I only reached as far as her breasts before she pulled my chin upwards and said, "I don't need any more attention down there baby".

She must have seen I was disappointed but said nothing more other than to ask me to go to the bathroom and get her a warm washcloth. When I got back she did let me sit there next to her as she brazenly pulled her pussy open and wiped all around. I handed her a towel and noted that she didn't make any attempt to squeeze. Damn, if it didn't give me a chill up my spine thinking about how much cum was likely still in her as she put her legs down and pulled the covers over the both of us. I turned off the light, we said our goodnights and went to sleep.


We didn't talk more on Saturday night but since then we have and all is good, she's enjoying knowing more about what turns me on and has promised me that I will enjoy tomorrow night. As I said before, I have never felt more strongly that I want this to happen for her, for us all. I know it sounds crazy but I want to see her truly wanting Paul and to see that desire growing.

Now to just figure out how to tell him what we want. I have some ideas, working them out in my head for now.


Last night was more revealing as well as pushing things further along.

It was actually quite interesting as she was very taken by the enjoyment she's beginning to really feel as relates to me. She said that she could totally understand the way I felt wanting her so and how that makes me feel about her when I let the two of them have their time together and she knew I was patiently waiting for her. She actually said that the way I was when we finally had sex late Saturday night was something she recognized about me and how even before we started to fuck, not just how horny I was, but how I acted towards her - she knew that I wanted her to signal what we would do together, whether we'd fuck, if I'd jerk-off or if I'd wait till Sunday morning to have her. As many here have pointed out, she is enjoying the control for sure but she's also seeing the way it turns me on and she knows it. She said that she felt more certain in how she dealt with me at times and more so, she said she says she's continuing to learn what turns me on when she's teasing.

There was no doubt that she wanted to watch me last night and I was eager to let her. I stripped naked for her instead of just sliding my boxers down and I let her watch me stroke slowly as we just talked. I loved seeing her eyes wander down to my cock from time to time and see the look on her face.

She asked me how I'd felt about the last weekend with Paul and adding that she was really feeling comfortable with him. Before I could say anything she said, "I know it made you horny that I had just your shirt on, didn't it baby?”

I nodded as she told me again how that it is all she wears once she goes over to Paul's place (I thought, 'just as with all your other boy other boyfriends ..' but I didn't say that) and she gushed about how it makes her feel so sexy to know that she's naked beneath my loose shirt and so horny for her lover.

I said that Paul seemed surprised at first and she giggled and said that she'd told him she was going to do it and that he didn't believe her. She looked at me and said, "I thought it might make it easier for you to talk to him" to which I told her that it did and she smiled at that.

The conversation flowed easily and I told her that it really turned me on that she would be so comfortable with Paul and that after I got past the 'shock' of it, that I found it incredibly arousing too. She asked me how I was going to feel about it when I wasn't going to have her as much and whether it would still be okay. Before I could answer her she continued and said that she really wanted to know whether I was going to be okay in general, " .. because, you know, starting to use condoms again …?"

I began to answer when she added. "....because, well, you know that I'm not going to want you as much then, you know, with Paul being my alpha man..." and she smiled at me.

I stopped talking and stroking and she said, "What? you knew that was going to happen baby...." and seeing my reaction she went on to tell me again how, "… yeah, I'll still probably cum with you sometimes …" but added again that once Paul assumes the alpha-role and I am using condoms with her, that she will always want me to feel good and still connect with her sexually … but that having sex with me then really will be much more for my benefit than for her's!

She saw a concerned look on my face and she said to me, "baby, it was good for you when I was with Robert, right?" I didn't tell her that actually being there and seeing her so totally giving herself to Paul was a bit more difficult than it was with Robert; I didn't tell her that now I had some misgivings about Robert actually seeing how she is now but I guess the look on my face didn't give away that thought because she added, "… well, it was.”

She said that she loved having sex with me when I was using condoms with her but that she got more enjoyment by knowing it was something that really turned me on. She said it didn't matter whether she felt pleasure from knowing it made me feel good or from directly receiving it herself (admitting that maybe it was something played up in her head too), that it didn't matter to her and that it shouldn't matter to me and I should recognise it was still us having sex in one way or another.

She was very complimentary on how I was when Paul was over and asked me how I felt having to wait for her. She giggled and added, " … while still hearing us …. and you spying on us too!"

Just as she's repeated so much to me over time, it was my time to say the same back to her. I told her as I had before that I thought Paul was a good match for her and she smiled broadly when I said that I felt good about him being her boyfriend to which she added, "… and more?" which made me laugh and to which I replied "yes..."

She asked me to tell her more and I did. I told her how I loved hearing her cry out at times and that having seen them together made it more exciting for me because I could put all sorts of images in my head. She giggled at that and said, "I can only imagine what you must think about" which made me laugh out loud. I came back at her and said, "me - what about you? ..... what about that baby bombshell you landed on me last week?"

Well, that led to about 20 minutes of pretty crazy intense talk. She told me that the whole thing about her having another baby was something that was in her head and turned her on to think about. She asked me, "is that so bad?" and she told me that it's something she enjoys fantasizing about and she admitted to thinking about it when she has sex with me, Paul, (and others) and especially when she was with Robert when she admits that she became more comfortable playing with the fantasy. She looked at me and said "that was something big for me, to learn to enjoy fantasies like that....”

I told her that it excited me too but although knowing it was unlikely to happen it did turn me on to think about. She giggled and she rubbed her belly and said, "kind of exciting to think about this swelling from another man". Then she leaned over to me and said, "does it turn you on to think about me giving that to another guy, to make a baby in me?" Before I could answer she swooned that, "it makes me wet to think about it".

When I groaned back and said that it did and that I thought it would have been crazy to see her give birth to another man’s baby, she moaned back that she couldn't ever let herself enjoy this kind of fantasy before and turned to me and said, "but you did, didn't you?" I nodded and she said something about 'men are weird that way' but that now she understood it more and more.

She looked at me and said, "you know what else turns me on? … " I shook my head "… I couldn't ever let myself think of it before ...." She waited a second and then said hesitatingly "... you know, going to a party..... and... doing it with lots of guys".

My eyes widened and despite my suddenly dry mouth I said something like, "you mean a gangbang?" She blushed a million shades of red and her neck and chest turned bright red as I knew that was exactly what she meant. I took her hand and said in a soft voice to her, "you'd be beautiful doing it".

She threw her arms around me and said that she loved me and loved that she could tell me something like that much less think it to herself. I asked her if she thought about it, "you know.... when you're.... doing it". She giggled and said, "might as well just say it... yes, oh god yes.... sometimes it's the thought that makes me let go...” She pulled away from me and with this concerned face looked me in the eye and said, "are you okay with this?"

I touched her face and said, "do you see this" and pointed to my cock which was still rock hard and throbbing there without my even touching or stroking it for the past few minutes. I told her that I loved that she had a 'dirty mind' and that she was finally not ashamed to let it out.

I didn't tell her that I thought she had the same sort of epiphany feeling that I did in my admission about wanting to let Paul be the alpha-male for her, that finally accepting that it is what it is and that it does turn you on is okay.

She smiled and softly held my rigid cock and said, "see, that ski-trip fantasy of yours turned out to be something that now sounds hot to me … but don't get your hopes up, it's just a fantasy". (I didn't say it but I thought 'for now' as I lay back onto the bed and started to stroke again.)

She giggled and said, "so, let me think, how did that go? Oh yeah....." and she proceeded to give me her version of the fantasy. Of course her version had less guys and was a bit less graphic and extreme, nonetheless, she spared little detail about how she felt she would be sharing herself with 'two hunky college guys in the next unit'. It was obvious that just as I knew my version chapter and verse (which I'd shared with her long ago) she had hers including telling me how she thought about being with both of them at the same time that really got to me. Of course she didn't describe it in the way I would have, but her viewpoint was just as beautiful of how she felt being pleasured and filled repeatedly 'all weekend by two young studs'. I filled in the visual details where she lacked; she gushed about how they'd feel inside her and how she'd scream with them and my visual was of each of them fucking her and leaving her gaping and dripping in between and when they were done.

What I hadn't noticed was that as I was about to cum, she was right there too. Her hand had slid into her panties as she had been fantasying and I hadn't noticed but now as she regaled how she was going to feel herself lying limp and worn out when they were finally done, I saw clearly how she was frantically fucking herself and as I let myself go to how she might look lying there as she'd described, feeling her motions next to me brought me to a huge gusher of an orgasm myself. When the first spurt started I heard her moan but I more felt her shiver and shake gently next to me as she too came right beside me.

It felt good sharing that moment with her and I felt good knowing that we would still share these same times even after New Years.


Paul will arrive shortly and Suzanna is now fulfilling her weekly ritual of getting her nails done before he comes over.

I'm not sure where to start but might as well say that she did see him on Thursday night and that it's obvious to me that she is feeling more for him. There's a confidence exuding from her that's hard to miss but she's much more vocal including telling me that Thursday's have become very intense for her. It's been amazing to see how she is now that she is accepting of everything and that while she insists that she's not falling in love with him, she shared that over the past couple of weeks she has been meeting him for lunch a few times now and they've made out in the car afterwards.

I asked her if she'd fucked or sucked him at these lunchtimes yet but she said no, that it hasn't happened yet. She told me that she wasn't sure how I'd feel about hearing about these past 2 weeks. When she saw the bulge in my pants and she now pretty much knows it turns me on.

Seeing her come home late Thursday though, the look about her was just so telling. She let me see her when she got changed but she didn't want me to do any more than just look. I told her I knew that already and she smiled and hugged me and told me that she liked that I thought about things like that for her and not to push her. It felt good to tell her that it turned me on that she wanted to enjoy the afterglow of being with Paul. If I wasn't convinced before then, knowing how she felt at that moment, I knew I would find a way to tell him today that we wanted him to stay over.

I also knew ahead of time that there was no way she was going to want to have sex with me last night. Oh yeah, I was horny and there was no doubt that she knew it, but at the same time I also knew that I really wanted it for her.

She asked me if I minded waiting but didn't wait for my answer, she just held my cock and told me she knew I was horny for her. Then she turned on what I can only call her 'teasing-mode' because as she held it she teased me about how big and thick it felt and how heavy my balls felt, "waiting for me". She kissed me and told me she loved feeling my hard cock like that and knowing that I would be willing to wait till after Paul leaves. I think she orgasmed on her own in a way when I told her that I was surely going to tell Paul that I wanted him to spend the night.

I didn't tell her that I chatted on-line with 2 guys the other day who have played with the type of denial play we are exploring. Both were encouraging and empathized with my fears and apprehensions but both also said that if it's what I really want, then I should do as Suzanna has been pushing. Both said that it would be good for Paul to know it's what I want and not something I just want to do for Suzanna.


My plan is simply to start by telling him, even if she's there, that it turns me on that he is fucking her like he is. Hopefully he'll be receptive and I can lead from there to telling him how hot it's been for me to wait till after he leaves for me to be with Suzanna. If that goes okay, then I hope to find the courage to say that it's okay if he doesn't leave till tomorrow morning. My hope is that some level of conversation will follow where I will say that I want to hear them later tonight in the main bedroom when I am in the guest room and how horny it's going to leave me for morning.

I told Suzanna that I wasn't sure if I could tell him all of the stuff we want though and if she thought it might be too much all to ask at once for him. She said that I should take it at the pace that I am comfortable at and then added, "as long as you tell him you want him to spend the night".

She kissed me and said, "I think things will fall into place after that baby" and hinted that she's been saying things to Paul at times that may help him put it all together. When I asked, she said it was nothing specific, just comments where she'd told Paul that I had liked him and liked him being there. She said that him hearing it from me would be good.

I just went into our bedroom and looked at her making up the bed with new sheets and straightening out the bedspread all and I thought to myself that it looked just like a hotel room. I can't help but think what I'll see and hear later tonight and into tomorrow morning.

She knows that it's the early morning times that really leave me unbelievably horny and while she didn't say anything, she did look up and smile at me before she went into the bathroom to tidy up there. The thought of hearing them in the morning in our bathroom, showering and more together already has me dripping pre-cum.


It scares me at times to think about how many condoms are left. The box is right in her night-stand and I swear she leaves the drawer open on purpose for me to see and to remind me. Yes, it does scare me to know that it's at most 6 more times that we'll fuck bare. Probably only 4 if I know her and how things will revert back to when the kids do get home. 6 times, and yet, at the same time I am soooo horny thinking about it too. We started to talk about New Years Eve and that she wants it to be special for me. Oh man, my cock is rock hard right now.


I chatted with a guy online who says he hasn't had sex with his wife in over a year now, no penetration at all. I asked him how he copes and he said that for him, he puts his wife in the status of a Penthouse or Playboy model who will show and share all of herself with him but who he'll never have sex with and instead, she is just a picture that he masturbates to only. I'm not sure that would work for me but he said it helped to separate himself from his wife sexually in his head by moving her to someone akin to a model who he felt it was appropriate to masturbate to and fantasize about. It did sound erotic but not sure it's feasible.

I'm sure we'll work things out in our own way, but as time goes by I have less, if any, doubt now about wanting to be the beta for her. I hope to explain that to Paul one day; just not sure it'll be today.


He is here and yes, he's staying over. I'm going back upstairs in a minute.

So many things going through my head, so many feelings; I am soooo horny but I refuse to jerk off as I so want her tomorrow.

I can't believe I'm going to say this but right now chastity sounds good to prevent my urges.


I don't think he believed me at first but I just came from listening to them from the living room and looking in on them. Yes, it hurts. It's actually harder than I expected even after feeling good about telling him. I am wicked horny but incredibly jealous, envious right now but at the same time my cock is so hard seeing them together.

I'm sure the beers I had before being a spectator in my own bedroom helped me tell Paul that I was serious about him staying with her in our room. I think he was convinced the invitation was real when Suzanna called me over from the doorway and gave me a kiss good night about midnight and told me she just wanted to be with Paul the rest of the night. I cannot tell you how turned on I got looking in at her lying against his side with his hand so casually on her breasts as they lay in our bed watching our TV. The thought of her lying naked with him right now is almost enough to make me cum just from the thought.

She did everything right including playing up that she felt special about Paul when I told him I liked him and wanted him to spend the night. I joked that it was an early Christmas present and Suzanna squealed and laughed about the old joke about Santa cumming early this year.

I felt it again when I saw how focused they were on each other as I watched. I'd told him, both of them, that I liked watching them fuck and I appreciated how he tried to make it better for me to see them. (I didn't say that at times it still gave me this queasy feeling as I watch Suzanna relax and let herself go.)

I am convinced it's the foreplay and the first few moments of them fucking that gets to me the most but by the end when she whispered that he was going to cum soon if I wanted to watch, Oh my God, just hearing her saying she knows how he feels when he's getting close was crazy.

Is it so weird that I enjoy watching him fucking her? She gets very wet with him.

I have to stop here, it's making me think too much about everything, I'm going to cum. I'm already worried about a friggin wet dream ruining everything. That's if I can sleep at all.


I was nearly asleep when I heard her cry out. I got out of bed and padded down and stood there again in the hallway from where I could just see the silhouette of her lying on the bed on her back and him beneath the covers apparently going down on her. I heard her moaning louder and louder as I stood there and then realized I was about to see her cum with him. I stepped back as she got up on her elbows and pushed the covers back. She arched her head back and then fell back against the pillow. He moved back up behind her and I could see him spoon up behind her as he pulled the covers up.

I have to tiptoe back up now to maybe finally get some sleep. There's a wet spot on my boxers where my cock is dripping from watching them.


They are now back in our bedroom getting ready for the day! I don't know how I managed to fall asleep at all last night.

I am all over the place, seeing them both come down to the kitchen, her in her bathrobe and him in mine, was totally intense and I'm still not sure about what it all means.

We all just had coffee and some donuts and then Paul went back up. Suzanna went to follow him but before she left me she came over and opened her robe to let me see she was still naked underneath and my god did she look amazing!

The bedroom door is shut; I heard them in the bathroom but haven't heard the shower go on just yet.

I'm on pins and needles waiting for them to reappear; waiting for him to leave.

When they came back down again he was cordial but we didn't talk too much, he asked me if I was okay this morning. When I said 'yes' Suzanna added in, "of course he is" and she let go of his hand and gave me a hug herself.

Too much to talk about and I really wanted to get back upstairs with her to hear what else she might like to tell me.


I am exhausted, both physically and mentally. I will say that I've never been more certain that I want to do this. The way I felt the whole weekend was such an incredible thrill to me. There were definitely so many times that it hurt intensely, not seeing them on Sunday morning but hearing through the walls/vents and just knowing they'd slept together, fucked, had breakfast and then hearing them as they showered and go ready together. I can't explain it but it just felt awesome hearing her giggle at time or moan at others. I think the thing that turned me on most was that it felt good to me and that I loved knowing what was going on.

I know that a lot of how I feel is because of him. When he got here on Saturday Suzanna was there but she also knew I wanted to talk to Paul and she made herself scarce at the right moments (but I knew she was listening the whole time). She later told me that she'd hinted to him on Thursday that I was going to want to talk to him and she told him that it was all good so I think he was in a good place when we had our conversation.

We were cordial, as I said, although when he got there Suzanna was already pretty animated and gave him a big kiss and hug. We all talked for a while in the sitting room and then Suzanna made some excuse about needing to do something in the kitchen which was all knew was an excuse to give us some time.

He knew I wanted to talk to him and because he was very into listening to me he made me feel good about him. I told him that it was weird talking to him about this but that I liked that he was making Suzanna so happy. He smiled and said he'd been concerned about that but after last weekend he was less so. I laughed and said that I knew it was just a matter of time before she did the same as she does at his place. And we talked pretty openly about how sexy she is when she has just his or my dress-shirt on. I told him that she had told me how it made her feel and that I thought it was very hot that was how she was with him.

I must say, it was pretty weird talking to him so openly like that. He said that while he had dated a few married women that he'd never encountered anyone quite like us. I asked him how he felt about it all and he laughed and said that for now, it's great and that he is really coming to like Suzanna more and more as a friend (he made a point to tell me how he doesn't want to take her away from me).

We talked for a few more minutes and it just seemed like it was the right time so I told him that Suzanna and I had talked and that she too had said she liked him more. That was when I said something like, "like tonight, we were talking and thought maybe you might want to stay over …" adding, "… Suzanna said she hates you running off so quickly …." I seized the opportunity and calmly said, "… and I thought I would wait till tomorrow to have her myself".

He was speechless and about that moment Suzanna came back in the room (as I said, I knew she was listening) and she sat on the arm of the couch next to me and said innocently, "what about tomorrow?"

I realized she was playing along so I just said something like, "you remember what you told me, that you hate Paul running off? Well, we talked, I suggested he maybe stay over tonight....". Paul started to say something but she leaned over and shushed him and said, "let’s see how we all feel about it later tonight?”

A bit later when the conversation turned bland she got up and went back to the kitchen. After she left I looked at him and I told him he was good for her and that I loved how she's been these past few weeks; how up and bubbly she is. He started to say how it wasn't him until I interrupted him and said, "I've seen her like this before; you're not her first boyfriend you know" and that led to a bit of a different discussion.

He said to me that Suzanna hasn't told him how long she's been 'sleeping around' and I told him that would get a slap from her if she heard that remark. I then took a few minutes to tell him that its going on 8 years now and that she's had several boyfriends. He smiled and said that he suspected that to be so but that she wouldn't tell him. We both laughed when I told him that ,"a lady never tells".

As we talked he said he was getting a better idea of how things are between Suzanna and me and then he said something that made me feel really good, "yeah, I can see how this would be a hoot after 30 years". I didn't come out and tell him about my cuck/beta desires but I did tell him that I loved that Suzanna allowed and enjoyed sex with him as much as she does and that I like giving that to her.

I'm now thinking that although he never asked I'm sure he concluded that over 8 years, Suzanna and I have done a lot of things.


If I was worried about how the evening would start, then that question was answered when Suzanna came back into the living room wearing what's now I guess her default lounge-wear, one of my button-up shirts on. She reacted to the look on my face when she smiled, giggled and said, "what's wrong with wearing this for both my men?"

She came over, gave me a peck on the cheek and then sat down next to Paul. As she did so, she turned and the shirt opened and she kind of pulled it up revealing not just her breasts but her pussy as they kissed openly in front of me. She looked back toward me but said to Paul, "He doesn't mind … do you Stef?" before turning to pull him into another kiss.

They started making out on the couch right in front of me and while they kissed she made no resistance to spreading her legs apart. Maybe he did or maybe he didn't notice, but I could see clearly where my dress-shirt had pulled up and I could see where his fingers were gently probing and playing with her pussy and I could see how wet she was inside for him.

I can't remember every detail but again I found myself staring and daydreaming at times at just how comfortable he was with playing with all of Suzanna! Then all of a sudden they were standing up, her shirt was unbuttoned and he had his arms around her back underneath the shirt as he held and kissed her. When their kiss broke neither of them even looked at me, they just scurried up to the bedroom.

Actually, that's a bit unfair, they didn't scurry, whilst it was largely a repeat of last week when he was here, there was the difference they both were moving a bit more slowly knowing they had no clock to be concerned with.

I followed them and stood by the doorway and watched. I won't say they were agonizingly slow but certainly there was not the frantic pace of the past few weeks. Also with them knowing I wasn't going to be taking part, they seemed to resume some of their earlier intimacy that I'd seen and gotten worked up about. There was far more kissing, touching, petting, caressing and fingering as they lay together and slowly moved ahead. She did look at me a couple of times and smile but I knew it was only for my benefit as once his touch intensified, she lost track of me and focused only on him.

I moved into the room to get a closer look. Again, they just seemed like two long-time well seasoned lovers! Suzanna eagerly sucked him to hardness and almost effortlessly climbed up on him and impaled herself on his cock moaning the whole time as she took all of him. A moment later she pulled herself off of him and moved into a 69 where she made no secret of licking and sucking his cock and where he took equal liberty at her pussy which was now literally his for the night.

That thought at the time made me very horny to see how beautiful she looked with him so brazenly sexually available for him. I watched as he fingered her pussy and I saw him pull her open as wide as he could and all I heard her do was moan in response and if anything, pull her legs back more for him. The sight of him pulling her vagina open like that was just so incredible that she was letting him do that like that.

His tongue and fingers were quite comfortable inside her and each time he pulled back she was wetter and more open. The thought of him stretching her like that so he can push into her more easily consumed me as I watched them working on each other. In between her own moans she would eagerly stroke him and suck him into her mouth and I know she was enjoying tasting his pre-cum. Just how open she was with him, how much she wanted him, my god, it was so amazing.

For no reason I found myself thinking about Robert, I so missed seeing her like this with him. Now, seeing it in front of me and knowing she'd spent almost a year with Robert being this intimate it was such a huge turn-on to think about some guy out there who had fucked the life out of my wife for so long.

I was sitting on the other side of our king-size bed and the lights were dimmed, but they seemed like they totally ignored me. As he sucked at her pussy she moaned about how good he felt. He in turn told her how wet she was, again as if they were two long-time lovers. He lay back and she eagerly climbed above him and sucked him and had no qualms at all about planting her pussy right on his face. She can't take him deep, not with that big head on his cock, but she does stroke him as she sucks him. I was again nearly brought to tears by just how beautiful she looked as she lay back and welcomed him into her; the way she raised her arms and legs and how she just presented herself as his, again, had I not had pants still on, I am sure I would have jerked off already or cum without any stimulation!

I must have been dreaming or in a trance with those thought for I hadn't noticed that she had moved and they were fucking before I knew it. Again I was lost in one thought or another but I did see him move on top of her and I did see her hand come peeking out between them and grab his cock. She rubbed it up and down her pussy, spreading it wide open and then pulling the wetness out and all over. This time when she guided it, he almost pushed in effortlessly into her with just a gentle 'uhhhhh' from her and the thought that he'd stretched her out just before totally got to me.

I am sure it was all in my head, that they were no more sexual together this time than any other time but having put things in motion and knowing that Paul felt that she was his for the night, it seemed like every awareness I had was heightened. Her clit was an erect little bud as she stroked his cock up and down and yes, it did seem like he pushed into her more easily than ever before; the thought of him changing her pussy to fit him better is something that has always been in my mind and at that moment, it seemed more of a reality.

Was what I was seeing any different than the prior week? I don't know, but in my head, it was very intense. When she turned onto her knees and arched her back, the way she knelt on the bed, her pussy was just gaping open for Paul almost like it was beckoning him to fill her. If there was ever a moment when I felt that she'd been the slut then this was it, just how she looked at that moment.

I'm sure Paul was ecstatic about it (who wouldn't love a wet waiting pussy) but from my vantage point, I could hear the slurping sound as he pushed into her and for a moment she became that slut from back in college enjoying the big cock being pushed into her. A slut, it was exactly what she was doing and feeling. She let out the most intensely erotic moan as he pushed into her and I could just imagine how the big head of his cock felt pushing into her in that position.

I knew that the time would come that Suzanna would want to be on her back and, sure enough, she must have signalled him because he pulled back, sat back on his knees as she rotated herself and lay on her back. I could see the look in her eye and I knew that she was looking at him and only him with the look that said just one thing, "fuck me". She lifted her head to look downward just as I did as Paul leaned forward with his hard cock wet from her saliva at the ready.

That's the moment that gets to me a lot of the time; the moment of truth when she is truly going to make love with him. I like to think that all the positions before and all the orgasms she'd felt already, that they were something she controlled, but now, I knew it was when she would give herself to him and they'd be one when they came next. Yes, it made me wince and even look away for a second, but in reality, how could I, the moment I savoured was upon me again.

He rubbed his stiff cock around her now gaping pussy and I moved closer. Yes, I felt the nausea, but at the same time I cannot deny that I loved what was about to happen; I loved that she was so worked up, that her nipples were rock hard, her breathing was erratic and deep amidst gasps as she felt his cock run up and down her pussy, but what I honestly loved the most was that she wanted him in her at that moment, that she wanted him as deeply in her as she could have him. If there was ever a moment when I could have cum without touching myself, it was hearing her deep moan as she felt him fill her fully for the first time.

Once they started making love, I moved back as I felt a bit too close to them but I stayed there watching them quietly. I lost all sense of time and don't know how long they were at it for but they were very amorous and I could hear them exchanging whispered words of love as sometimes he would be above her on his extended arms looking down on her, or other moments he would lay closer to her and hug her as he made love to her. Her legs would flail each time he pushed into her and she would moan as he pulled back and when her head turned towards me I could see her eyes were closed but the look of bliss was on her face. They surely weren't fucking, this was making love.

Perhaps I should have been perturbed like times in the past but this time, oh my god, I loved it. I simply cannot describe how awesome I felt to be a witness and, if I'm honest, it the moment that totally reinforced everything for me.

I watched for a little while longer but with those thoughts in mind I decided to leave them alone, knowing that's what Suzanna would have wanted me to do. I went back downstairs and to go back to those feelings many times to keep myself positive about everything … I’m sure that the extra beer or two that I'd had certainly added to it.


It's time to find a new book.