Journal of a Journey - Book 77

It happened! He arrived about 4:30pm as we'd planned. Thing were very cordial and very very relaxed. He brought a bottle of wine and we had already bought 2 bottles of champagne. What's that song, 'Tequila makes her clothes fall off'? Well, we can rename it as, 'Champagne makes Suzanna's clothes fall off".

We just did burgers on the grill as something simple for dinner and after the bottle of wine, we all felt very relaxed but it was a little different from our past weekends when it had been me who had provided the conversational grease; this time around things were a little awkward, the reason being that I knew she wanted to ask him about what the result was from his HIV test and that, no doubt, his answer was going to dictate what she wanted for the evening. I was almost relieved when she asked me for some time alone with Paul to 'discuss a few things' and she took his hand and led him off. They were gone about 15-20 minutes.

When they returned it was obvious from the buttons undone on her top that they'd been messing around. She saw that I was looking but made no mention, she just said with a giggle in her voice, "he's healthy!" Paul immediately turned bright red from what she said but she pulled him to her and kissed him right in front of me, saying " … it's all good". That broke the ice for sure.

We all sat around and relaxed and enjoyed the awesome weather sitting out on the deck enjoying the last glass of wine. As the sun went down and it started to get a little cooler we moved inside and Suzanna announced that she was going to get more comfortable. Paul and I heard the shower start to run upstairs and I looked at him and said that she must want to get cleaned up a bit.

He turned to me and awkwardly said, "she tells me you are okay with all of this, yeah?" with a question in his voice. I told him that I did and that I knew it sounded weird to say that. He stopped me and said, "no, I think it's cool" and then he said that we seemed very 'cool' with everything and that he'd heard about stuff like this and that he wondered how it would be 'being in a Penthouse letter'.

Him talking this way made the relaxed situation even more so. I wondered whether Suzanna had put him up to saying that but, whatever, he again was being very respectful about things. I told him that I had come to appreciate new things with Suzanna after so much time together to which he replied that he wished he could have found that same happiness in his marriage. Then he looked at me and said, "I just want to have fun with her you know", that he had no intentions of 'breaking you up' or hurting our marriage.

I told him that was great and not to worry, that I had a good feeling about him and that I liked that he made Suzanna happy; I emphasized 'happy'.

There was a bit of an awkward silence then he looked at me and said, "thanks for letting us have fun tonight". I knew what he meant so I told him that she'd been looking forward to it all week and that I was glad he was healthy.

So, while we weren't really talking explicitly about everything, I felt better knowing that he understood that we both were looking forward to it. As we talked I eventually mentioned 'seconds' and he asked me in a rhetorical way whether we'd done this before. I told him, "yes, many times over the years". Before he could really respond to that I told him, "we'll see how the evening develops".

Partway through our conversation we heard the water shut-off in the shower and we both joked that she should be down in maybe another half-hour with both of us obviously referring to how long she takes. As we kept talking it slowly dawned on me that he said that from his own knowledge and experience of her being at his place and it turned me on that he already knew of her make-up habits!

We were talking comfortably when we heard her footsteps and she came into the living room with a silky bathrobe on. I'm sure we all said something but what really got to me was how she sat on the arm of the couch next to me and how the already short robe opened just a bit revealing quite a bit of thigh. She asked, "you guys getting to know each other?" and then joked that was a good thing, " as we might be seeing a lot of each other and I really want my guys to get along!" With that she leaned down and gave me a very passionate kiss. She then smiled at Paul and I am pretty sure while we kissed that she'd spread her legs or let him see her lingerie because he had a big smile when we both sat back and continued talking.

I'd like to say that I remember everything the three of us talked about but the freshly clean smell with a slight hint of sexual arousal was keeping both Paul and I focused on her. I know we talked for a few minutes when Suzanna suggested maybe opening the champagne as she wanted her Mimosa (Orange Juice and champagne - her favourite). I asked Paul what he wanted and he said he'd take a sip of champagne but that he would rather have a beer. Suzanna and I stuck with the champagne as, in a way, both of us wanted to celebrate what was happening (and, for me, it was the right choice for I knew what effect it would have on her!).

As Paul nursed his beer Suzanna asked for a refill (small glasses) and my glass was empty too so I went to the kitchen for a top-up. When I returned, Suzanna had moved to sit next to Paul on the loveseat and they were in the midst of a somewhat passionate kiss with him feeling very comfortable and her having opened the front of her robe revealing the tight spandex-like camisole she had on that clearly showed her breasts and hard nipples. I sat down with the glasses and waited a moment for them to finish. It wasn't an easy moment for me, it was the first time I'd see them getting involved with each other and I admit I felt queasy and even hesitant. I knew that the longer they lingered in this kiss, the more a signal it was to what they both wanted with each other.

He did many of the same things that I do when kissing Suzanna to make her succumb. He ran his hands through her hair and down her neck and held her close but did not touch her breasts or pussy, only gently caressing her butt. From her moans and breathing I knew she was into it and as I listened to her I began to feel a warmth inside of being turned on by knowing what was coming and even by the wonder of just how we were going to get there.

While I remember most of the evening very clearly, there are gaps in time for which I can't account. I know I wound up daydreaming or zoning out to the thoughts in my head. I remember distinctly thinking, "my wife is being seduced right in front of me" at one point. I remember that when they stopped kissing she made no effort to pull her robe back on revealing her lacy panties and that she had nothing else on; I also know that when I got us another mimosa each and him another beer that it became quite erotic to see what seemed like a few minutes later the two of them on the loveseat with her legs now spread apart and his hand on the inside of her thigh gently caressing her.

The thing is, he wasn't really doing anything other than gently caressing her but he wasn't hiding it and from how flushed she looked, she was enjoying it. The music playing in the kitchen could be heard in the living room and Suzanna got up and began to dance and tried to pull me and the Paul out with her. She looked cute dancing there with her breasts visibly moving beneath her top as she moved around.

It may sound cliché or whatever, but as she danced around I got up and walked up behind her and as I did, Paul walked up and approached her from the front so we sandwiched her. We were close but not on top of her, she shuddered when she felt my hands on her back but then fell forward into a kiss with him when she felt his hands on her waist and then move up her body. When he put his arms around her I moved back and let them kiss, as I watched they moved together and began an incredibly arousing dance where they slithered together all over. At one point she pulled her top up and flashed her bare breasts at him and at another point she ground her pussy against his thigh through her panties.

I started to feel like a 3rd wheel about now but I was so turned on seeing her let loose with him with no fear it or to be holding back. At times as she turned and put her back and butt towards him and smiled, blew me a kisses and mouthed' thank-you'. Other times when she turned she had her eyes closed and was clearly intent on letting him have more and more of her. What did surprise me was at one point when he held her back against him, as he ran his hand down her arm and had his head on her shoulder kissing at her neck, he did look up at me and ask, very politely, "you okay?” It was quick and quiet but I heard it and I distinctly saw Suzanna smile as he said it (did she coach him?).

I smiled, weakly, but I smiled and managed to say, "yeah". It was very erotic, we two men fully dressed right there in front of me in our living room with, Suzanna, my wife, being seduced and undressed.

Maybe what I said earlier had gotten to him as I actually even now think he put on a bit of a show. He kept her back pulled close to him and as he kissed her neck and she tilted her head back and cooed in response; I saw his hands become very friendly with Suzanna … intimately friendly. Again, he seemed so comfortable with her and she just seemed to melt into his arms. In a way it was hard to see (and I'm not talking about my huge hard-on!), almost agonizing to see him having her way so easily with her. His hands held her breasts like he knew them well and I saw him gently tweak her nipples just as I know she loves. I saw her unconsciously (or consciously?) grind her butt back against him as he kneaded her breasts. It was nothing for him to reach one hand beneath her camisole and feel her bare skin and for her to seemingly just lay back and enjoy it.

I don't know how long I sat there. It was dark outside and the living room lights were somewhat dimmed but as I sat there I was relishing what I was seeing. I realized her breathing had become deeper and that I could hear the change as she felt his hands on her body. Again, I don't know what she told him or coached him but as he ran his hands up and down her body below her breasts I looked up and saw that he was looking straight at me. It took me a second to realize that instead of staring at me to see my response to what he was doing, I suddenly realized that, in a way, he was asking my permission to touch her lower down! I looked down at his hand and then back up at him, I smiled and nodded 'yes' to him and the warmest feeling washing over me as I did that. I saw him smile back and then heard her breathe in deeply as his hands, now on her panties, then on her hips, and how he began teasing her through them as he moved closer to her pussy.

He was just so respectful, it truly made me want to give her to him. It was so obvious she was into it and loving it. My cock was rock hard already but I loved just sitting there and seeing him pleasure her. She turned her head to him and kissed him over her shoulder and as they kissed I saw him put his hand into her panties for the first time. She gasped deeply.

I actually closed my eyes for a moment. I don't know how to say it other than it was not easy for me to watch him penetrate her for the first time like that in front of me. When I heard her slowly moaning I squinted and looked slowly at them to see her smiling as he now obviously had at least one or two fingers in her pussy. I watched for another moment or two until their kiss ended and as she stood up she looked guilty as hell as she moved herself and he pulled his fingers and hand out of her panties. She was smiling when she saw me sitting there eagerly watching her but then must have felt somewhat embarrassed as she immediately stood up and pulled herself back together. She pulled her cami down and her robe back onto her shoulders and then leaned over, said something that I didn't hear to Paul before standing up and come over to me.

She kissed me and apologized to me, that wasn't what she'd expected to have happened. She spoke quietly to me but I said loudly back to her that it really turned me on and that I loved seeing her like that. She looked up at me and said she loved me and then turned back to Paul and said something to him like, "bad boy, you are supposed to wait".

There was one more glass of champagne to be had and she asked me, "Will you be a dear and bring it up to the bedroom for me?" She turned to Paul and again said something I didn't hear and then turned back and walked into the kitchen with me. As I poured the last glass for us she asked me if she could have some time alone upstairs with him first and whether I could come up in maybe 15 minutes?

I sooooo wanted to see her be fully seduced and to see either him undress her or for her to reveal herself for him but I also realized that this would probably be better for her. She hugged me tightly and kissed me and again told me she loved me and gave a 'thank you' as she turned to walk out to escort him from our living-room to our bedroom. Thing is, as she walked out I realized that was the last time I would probably hold her until after she'd have fucked him and possibly more! My cock throbbed obscenely as I thought about that and how the next time I held her she'd have his cum in her for the first time!

I simply cannot tell you the arousal I felt seeing her walk out with him and hearing the door click shut upstairs in our bedroom. I know it was very dark outside by now but to be honest, I have no idea how long any of this took. The quickest moments seem like hours and at other points, time flashed by in the blink of an eye. I just know that I stood there in the kitchen sipping the last glass of champagne that she and I shared and having the most intensely erotic thoughts about what they were doing. All sorts of images were in my head, her lying there spread-eagle for him; her eagerly sucking his cock and, of course, all sorts of visions of him deep inside her and her writhing in response.

I couldn't wait the full 15 minutes, when I thought about it, I couldn't even wait 5 minutes. When I went upstairs I could hear water on in the bathroom and I could hear his voice in there so I opened the bedroom door and Suzanna was standing at her dresser, her robe was off but she was still wearing the camisole and panties. She smiled when she saw me and said, "shhh" and then she giggled, "…. you can watch baby...." and then as we heard the toilet flush she said, "give us a little, okay?”

I nodded and turned off the hallway light so they couldn't see me and I played voyeur for the next 10 minutes or so. It was incredibly beautiful to see her just be so free with him. Either she did it because I was there or, and a part of me truly hopes this is the case, that she did it because it was what she felt.

I admit that it did hurt a bit. He came up to her as she stood there and continued to kiss her from behind and then he turned her around to face him. I guess it's never easy to see the one you love with another, my cock was rock hard but I will say that my heart was heavy as they kissed so obviously comfortable that for a moment I had fleeting thoughts that I was peering in on the 2 of them as man and wife; they seemed that at ease.

He had come out of the bathroom in just his boxers and I had to remind myself not to cum as I gently touched myself as I watched, him facing towards me; her with her back to me, as she pushed his boxers down while she stood there still in her panties and top. Her hands were both in front of her and I knew she was stroking his cock. I know I had to suppress the urge to barge right in and watch closer but she didn't want me to.

Again, I lost track of a few moments as all sorts of feelings and thoughts washed over me. When I next looked up he was pulling her top off and I nearly moaned out loud when I saw that it was her who had pushed down her panties to stand naked in front of him. Again, there was something just so telling to me that it was her that pushed them off and that she stood there and let him look down at her. I know it is crazy to think this way but it is just incredible to see it happen and to know the person you love the most is experiencing something like that with someone else is just amazing.

It was almost like watching a dirty movie but, at the same time, as she knew I was watching I also told myself that some of what was seeing was exclusively for me! I probably missed a million gentle touches or quiet whispers between them but the next thing I knew was that he had turned her around and sat her back on the bed and then laid her back as he stood there at the foot of the bed. I like to tell myself that the next thing she did was for me but I know it wasn't, she was already going into her zone. She pulled her knees back and from the doorway I could see how wet she was and as he turned, I could see how hard he was too.

I watched him lean down, kiss her and then lay on the bed next to her and they moved to look at each other. I wanted to go in right then but I also saw him gently touch her face and her shoulder and then pull her in for a kiss. Now a part of me even thought of turning away for a moment as I felt I was spying on a couple somewhere and not my wife. When their kiss ended he moved his hands down her body and I could wait no longer, I pushed the door open and moved so that they could notice me (if they wanted to!). They both turned to look at me, smiled and it was Suzanna who very deliberately reached up and pulled Paul in for another kiss.

As they kissed they looked like a long-time married couple. She readily spread her legs for him and he seemed to know just how to touch her to make her moan. I moved into the room to get closer so I could watch more clearly. She didn't actually acknowledge me but one or both of them moved so that I could see more clearly. Again I don't know how long I stood there as I just listened and watched, hearing her moans and seeing his fingers so gently exploring her body as though she was his. It made me so horny that as I stood there still dressed with a lump in my pants. After an age (I don't know for how long) Paul looked up and when she whispered something to him he looked at me and asked, "you're just going to watch?” I knew it was now or never for this to happen and I so wanted it to happen that I gently nodded a 'yes'. He smiled at me and immediately turned his attention back to her.

Neither of them really looked at me much after that. He stood at the side of the bed and Suzanna lay on her side up on her elbow sucking him. She had no qualms about letting me see her lavish attention to his cock that now suddenly seemed much larger to me than I'd remembered and every time she pulled it out of her mouth I saw the big pinkish coloured head on it. What captured my attention even more was the way she lazily lay there with her legs spread apart showing Paul and me all of her beautiful and very bare pussy!

I could not deny how intense it was to watch him so knowingly wet his fingers with saliva and to then, not doing it for me but doing it for her, pull his wet finger up through her pussy spreading her labia wide apart revealing the sweet pink centre. I've watched before but I swear every time is like the first time, especially when it is all so new and especially because of the burning knowledge of what was to come.

It was just so erotic to me, seeing her sucking on another guy’s cock that he was about to fuck her with. I will say that the thoughts I had was that that cock was about to be inside her pussy, inside her body, where he was going to cum and leave his sperm for the first time inside her. Even while she still sucked him I thought to see the gooey whiteness around his condom-covered cock in the past and how this time it was going to be his own cum that he was churning up inside her!

I guess the next thing I can remember is him lying on the bed next to her almost in a 69 position where she more easily sucked his cock and, definitely, where he could begin using both hands on her pussy at the same time. I saw the top of his head between her legs and then, when he pulled back I could see him pulling her pussy open with his fingers and the wetness from his tongue glistening all over. Thinking back, I wanted to move in closer but I felt frozen in place.

They were talking, when I focused on them again she had pulled his cock out of her mouth and I heard her say something like, "come up here already" and in the next moment I watched the first movements towards the inevitable moment for the night. As he crawled off the bed and stood to turn around, her legs spread further and in my head she did that for me. Can I say that I again felt proud that my 54 year old wife looked like a goddess as she lay there; that in the dim light, her bare swollen pussy looked like a teenager's glistening wetness and seeming eager to be fucked! She never moved up onto her elbows, she never looked back towards me … but Paul did.

When I looked up it was to see that he was looking at me. I thought he was questioning me and it took me a second to realize, no, he was waiting. I couldn't speak, I didn't want to interrupt the moment or divert Suzanna's mind away. Instead I just motioned with my hand turning over my palm and implying 'please do' and when I didn't move he smiled, gave a nod and then turned back to her. This time his wet fingers slid into her now obscenely open pussy. I could see him arch his fingers inside her and I knew that he knew where her secret spot was that would make her moan.

I admit that it felt like a knife in me to see her arch her back as his fingers probed her most intimate places but at the same time I swear that if I hadn't had my pants and clothes still on that my cock would have been in my hand and I've have blown my load all over!

I had the distinct knowing feeling at that point that I didn't want to join them. I had fleeting thoughts of making it a 3-some as part of this with them but seeing this unfold before me, I now just actually wanted to watch.

It happened so quickly. I knew she was horny and truly needed to be fucked at that point but suddenly he climbed back onto the bed and moved into position between her legs. At the time I thought 'what about other positions?' but I immediately realized that she wanted him in her favourite missionary position so she could see and be a part of feeling him for the first time.

I saw her handing him some lubricant and say something quietly to him (she later told me she asked him to, "be sure I'm wet enough") and in a flash, he had smeared some lube on. Before I could even realize it was happening I watched from behind him as the big head of his cock probed her pussy opening. I could feel my own cock throbbing and my heart beating as I watched him stab at her and then rub it up and down the length of her pussy and then around and around her opening. It felt like I was watching something animated or being acted but, at the same time, knew it was my wife, my Suzanna, lying there on our bed about to be filled by yet another new cock.

All of a sudden she let out a loud gasp and in an instant he was in her, just the thinner shaft of his cock was visible as she breathed in deeply and held him away from her and told him hoarsely, "wait a second, give me a second".

I was on the edge of my wits watching and struggling to both see and hear better and, at the same time not daring to disturb the beautiful sexual performance before me! I watched him move to push into her and was surprised when she said, "pull it out for a second". A second later I had the most incredibly erotic sight to watch this huge cock-head stretch her pussy so wide open and then suddenly pop out of her coated with wetness and to see her vagina, yes, her vagina, gaping open waiting to be re-filled. Again he rubbed it up and down and all around and this time he pushed gently but firmly at her and as he applied pressure I saw her stretch around him and then watched that fat cock head disappear back into her. This time her groan was very different and she immediately lay back and let him gently enter her more and more.

I hope it doesn't sound weird that despite how turned on and horny I was, I think I was also close to shedding a tear or two as I watched him fucking her bare for the first time (she never owned up to letting him in her bare before this past Saturday night).

As I watched, now standing at the foot of the bed, he was fully in her for the first time and I became distinctly aware of her moaning and how she was responding. He pulled back and I watched her seem to cum with him for the first time. As he slid back she let out a loud moan and she fluttered back and forth in the bed beneath him. I wasn't looking at him but then a moment later he pushed back into her this time with apparently more confidence and she responded in kind with her trying to push her pussy upwards as he pulled back as if to keep him in her.

I wanted to drop my pants right then and jerk-off like crazy next to her. It was probably the most erotic sight in my life (although I am now sure I may have said this before!) but to be honest, knowing what it was heralding in our future, it was truly an intense moment.

No, I didn't sit on the bed and hold her hand. I honestly didn't want to disturb them, they were beautiful together.

Yes, it was obscene seeing his hairy cock pounding into her beautiful waiting pussy, but there was no doubt that she wanted him, no doubt at all, and seeing her pull him into her with her own legs a few times only reinforced how she felt.

There are moments in life when time seems to stop still and this was one of them. It seemed like they were fucking forever, slight changes in position; her arching her back more; him hunching down more and driving straight into her instead of at an angle. They all made her moan louder and louder. It was obvious they didn't need any more lubricant as once she had let out that first squeal of an orgasm there was a visible foamy wetness at the base of his cock and clinging to her stretched pussy. I remember telling myself that I wanted to wait to have my own time with her and that I desperately didn't want to cum yet. I will say that the thought of being caged-up even passed through my mind but I wondered if it would keep me from cumming or just keep me from enjoying it. Whatever, I knew I'd have will-power to do it.

I'd like to describe more, how the visible wetness increased each time she'd cum with him and when he'd pull out. How erotic it was seeing her legs spread so far apart for him and, yes, obviously seeing how far into her his cock was when he bottomed out each time. As they got into it more and more at one point he pulled out of her quickly and then pushed back into her just as quickly, she squealed out loud each time he'd pull out of her as if she were having her life taken from her and then, my god, the deep groan she'd let out as he pushed back into her.

I really don't know how long they fucked like that. I could have stayed there all night watching and listening to my wife being pleasured over and over. I fought off the urges to masturbate and stood deathly still to prevent my boxers from rubbing at my stiff cock. As I stood there it seemed that their passion continued to increase. They kissed and hugged as he fucked in and out of her and I knew so well what he was feeling; looking in her eyes and kissing her as he plunged into her pussy and feeling her body responding. I knew what he felt when I watched her orgasm beneath him and, yes, I loved knowing he had truly felt all of her as intimately as possible with his cock buried deep in her pussy as she rocked from side to side underneath him moaning with every movement.

I watched and I watched and I watched, loving every moment of it. I became aware that both of their passions were increasing. I saw him start to fuck her harder and harder and deeper and deeper, hearing the slap of him against her bare pussy mound and seeing how swollen and spread she was as he pulled back. Even I knew he was close but it was her that gave in first and I saw him try even harder as he realized she was starting to cum beneath him. I heard her pussy squishing and squelching and saw her thrashing her head back and forth. He kept fucking her through her orgasm; it was a strong one for her but not the consciousness-losing one she wanted so desperately. When he felt her coming down from her pleasure she seemed to mouth 'your turn' to him barely audible to me but I did hear him say, "are you sure it's okay?" I had no trouble hearing her eager reply, "yes!”

Sure enough, within the next few moments he pushed up on his extended arms above her and she, looking so beautiful with this look of pure-pleasure on her face, pulled her legs far back and apart and she let him have all of her. In that position she moaned loudly as I am sure his cock was nestled seemingly against the very back of her womb and each time he pulled out I knew it was one stroke closer to the moment we both wanted.

Correction, not both, but all 3 of us … but most definitely me. At that point I almost wanted to call out encouragement to egg him on but I didn't need to do so, he was encouraged enough as it was. A moment later I knew just when he was going to cum. One, then two and on the third deep plunge into her I watched him fill her body with his cum for the first time. Her eyes opened wide and she looked him up and down with her gaze settling on where he was buried in her as she watched him slowly push in and pull out of her as he softened quickly! I could see a flicker of disappointment on her face that he hadn't stayed hard enough for her to really cum with him the very end then a moment later he collapsed against her and all he could say over and over was 'wow' and 'holy crap'.

I still stayed away from the bed. I don't know if he remembered that I was there but Suzanna certainly had and she turned her head toward me and smiled an almost evil smile at me. A moment later Paul pushed himself up onto his elbows and in one slick sliding move, his now small softened cock came slithering out of her pussy as he rolled over onto his back. Suzanna turned to me for a second, saw me looking and smiled at me before turning her head and upper body to Paul lying next to her. She deliberately left her legs apart and her pussy still open from him facing me and she knew I was looking at her. No more than 5 feet or so from me lay her pussy, now spread open and by now, visibly starting to ooze the cum he'd just pumped into her. It was all I could do to hold it together.

She was facing him and kissing him and then turned back towards me and said, "baby, would you give us a little alone time?” and with that she rolled herself totally towards him and bent her knees. I could now see her sideways on the bed with her butt and the lower end of her pussy facing me and I could see a dribble of his cum start to ooze out of her. As they kissed more appeared and before it fully dripped onto the bed she reached back with one hand and wiped it off with a finger. She turned to me and again said, "okay baby?”

So, without saying a word or doing a thing with them, I somehow managed to walk out of our own bedroom with this stiff cock between my legs and all I could think was that, "she asked me to leave them alone".

I went down to the kitchen and I felt a flood of emotions. A part of me felt sick, the non-cuck part obviously, but I did feel that way; a certain feeling of dread at being dismissed by her. On the other hand, I'd seen her give herself to him so fully for the first time that I did love being there even if all I did was just watch … and wait!


So, Yes, they did fuck again bare.

No, he didn't stay over.

He left about 10:30pm; Suzanna went with him and saw him to his car.

Suzanna's due back any minute now.


When she got back she asked me to wait till Sunday morning. I reluctantly agreed and fought off incredible urges all night long.

I was the model cuckold for them. Even now the feelings are still very strong. I just kept thinking that she had really asked me to leave her and I did. I honestly didn't think I was quite ready for that from her but then, I know what I saw and I could understand how she felt. I said it hurt in a way and to be honest, it still does. Without a doubt, it is what I would have wanted her to do, perhaps not so boldly and not so dismissively, but if this had been how it built up with Robert in the same way, that I could understand how she felt after seeing them finally consummate things properly.

I remember that I sat in the kitchen and I couldn't hear a thing from upstairs. After a while I couldn't take it any longer and I crept back upstairs. I suppose they may have expected me as the door was cracked open and the hallway was totally dark.

I did not go in this time. She didn't invite me and to be honest, if this was the guy she was going to have her fling with, I wanted to see how they were together without me being there. I couldn't see everything clearly and I couldn't hear them at all. Neither ever looked towards the door.

It didn't take long. He surprised me by going down on her (I later learned that she'd cleaned up a little bit) and, yes, she confirmed he didn't flinch at all licking his cum; she giggled and said, "he's like you!” I was surprised again by him seeming to get hard pretty quickly.

Again, it was like watching two long-time lovers. He was so gentle and caring with her and seemed to follow the same pattern as I do with her, to make sure she has at least one or two good orgasms before starting to fuck.

I know I felt hurt earlier but, now, it just felt weird as I watched them together again. I have to say that as I saw her eagerly give into him, putting her hand on the back of his head to hold him there and guide him, seeing her so enjoying being so free with him, I can't explain it other than to say it felt awesome to know how she felt. I guess maybe something similar in feeling would be watching your child ride a bicycle for the first time and see them realize what they're doing and to see the glee on their face! That's sort of what I felt seeing her with him.

This time when she raised her knees and revealed her pussy to him (and me), in my mind she was lying there gaping open with each breath pulsing and calling him. In reality, I couldn't see it clearly and to be honest, I enjoyed the scene I played out in my imagination.

I can recall the moment I realized how I felt, that I wanted to watch and enjoy watching them. She was really beautiful. I knew as I stood there that they weren't just going to fuck; they were going to make love. I also knew very well this was how it was when she was with Robert, that this is what I'd missed for so long. I even had an evil thought, maybe Paul really is Robert and she'd been playing with me along! Wouldn't that be crazy?

She was sucking him and he was casually fingering her as he talked to her, I couldn't hear what he was saying but at times she seemed to respond and nodded yes or no while still sucking him.

Then, just as before, there he was again, standing there next to our bed, Suzanna's and my bed, about ready to make love to my willing wife.

I'm being honest here before I turn in for the night when I say that at that moment, I thought about whether this was what I really wanted, my beta-wish coming true? Literally as I stood there thinking about it (perhaps not seriously enough to suddenly run in and yell "stop") but I was thinking about how I felt about some of what I'd shared and we'd discussed. I did watch him climb onto my bed and how comfortable he seemed. I couldn't see clearly at all but it was obvious he was teasing her pussy with his cock. At one point I watched him hold it and almost slap at her pussy with it. I will say that I surely felt the knot tie in my stomach as I saw her respond to that and how much she wanted him.

There was no doubt she wanted him. Again I didn't see or feel this with Robert but if she felt like this, then I will say that right now as I am typing this I even wonder if she somehow arranged all of this to satisfy her desire, maybe she even fuelled my beta-desires in a way? I don't know but right now the thought turns me on like crazy!

So yes, as I stood there and watched what I felt was a much slower pace between them. I will admit that as she spread herself for him and I saw him finally push into her yet again that this was the moment I did finally undo my pants. I had thought earlier that maybe I would possibly have a turn with her that night but now watching them together, I knew that she wouldn't want it with me. Seeing his hips and butt rise up and down above her and knowing from her response he was fucking her deep and hard, it was so erotic because while I couldn't see, I could surely fill in the blanks.

I stroked away in the dark hallway as I watched them go at it for quite a while until, once again, it was pretty obvious from body-language when he was about to cum again. I thought about what was about to happen and that was what set me off. Not seeing it happen but, this time, knowing what was about to happen and wanting it to.

I stood there for a moment with my cock sticking out of my pants and shuddered quietly as I came into my outstretched palm. A few drops may have gotten away but I know when I was done I held a steaming puddle of my cum. I looked up just in time to see what must have been the end of Paul's orgasm and Suzanna's incessant moaning.

I should share that she's told me that she did not have that deep intense orgasm she has with me neither time with Paul but she also went on and on about how wonderful it felt to finally feel that close to him and that it's something she needed to feel to feel closer to him.

When Paul leaned down against her and they kissed it only felt right to give them a little privacy. It felt so crazy to be leaving my own bedroom to them but it's what I did. As I said, I didn't feel threatened by anything and actually, felt pretty elated about what had happened.

It was about 10:30pm when Suzanna came down in just her silky robe and came up to me sitting in the living room and put her arms around me and hugged me as tightly as she could. She told me he was leaving soon and that she was going to walk him down to the door. It was funny because he seemed visibly nervous as he came down the stairs a few minutes later and the awkwardness immediately returned big-time.

This time it was Suzanna who broke the ice when she said to me, "Paul is going to be leaving now baby". I loved that she called me baby in front of him.

I stood up and actually walked over to her and put one arm around her and reached out to shake his hand with other. I didn't say 'thank you' (I think may have said that at some point in the past in a similar situation though). Instead I just shook his hand and said, "good seeing you".

He said, "thanks for a fun night" to me and then Suzanna immediately said she'd walk him out.

I can remember it feeling like forever before I heard the door close and her come up. I know we had a very awkward moment right then. She leaned over and hugged me and kissed me and we shared 'I love yous' before she hugged me really deeply and whispered thank-you in my ear. It was my turn to say something so I said what I felt, I told her she was beautiful and that I loved watching her and that I knew it was a special night for her. Before she could say anything I told her that I was okay with waiting till Sunday if that was what she wanted - she knew what for - and she smiled.

We talked a little but it was after 11pm by the time we went back up and while I was still very horny it was obvious that we were both pretty tired. When we got into the bedroom we got washed up in the bathroom. By the time I came out to the bedroom she was already under the covers. Somehow she'd changed the sheets or there wasn't a big wet-spot, I didn't ask. As I walked towards the bed she held the covers up and showed me she was naked waiting for me. She smiled at me and said, "let’s snuggle". I slid into bed naked behind her and slithered up against her. She felt my hard cock poking at her and joked about, " didn't you take care of it earlier watching?

I told her that I did and she giggled, "you're still hard" and the only answer I had was something like, "you turned me on".

Lying naked behind her knowing just inches away was her pussy having been fucked and cummed in twice was almost a torture. She seemed to enjoy taunting me, again I seemed to notice it more, and teased that I would have to wait till tomorrow. I was joking when I whined back, "you mean nothing tonight?" and she giggled back and said something that I also hadn't heard in a long while when she said that I could, "lick just the outsides, you remember baby, right?".

Wow, did she know how to get to me! I immediately rocketed back to the earlier times when she asked for that too and so, before she let me get comfortable in bed with her, I wound up under the covers with her gently holding my head. Not firmly against her pussy, but rather, holding it further away ensuring I was not disturbing her too much. It was dark, damp and my god, the smell of her pussy now spread apart, I realized she probably hadn't done more than just wipe herself up and the thought of her musky skin only turned me on even more.

I made my way down and licked gently at her bare skin feeling the heat coming from her pussy. She seemed to almost wince a bit, no doubt feeling tender afterwards. I immediately knew when I began tasting Paul's cum. I am sure my cock rose to full hardness as I felt this incredible feeling of warmth wash over me when I let myself think and know that the rest of his load of cum was still inside my wife. I didn't lick long as I felt my own desires rising again and sure enough, just a moment later she did in fact push my head away and tell me with a giggle, "that's enough …. leave some for tomorrow!" Reluctantly, I pulled my head away and we returned to the spoon position.

We didn't talk much; there really wasn't that much for us to talk about. There was much more for me to think about. As I felt her falling asleep I did think about what I'd been a part of. I knew I wasn't going to have a turn with her, Suzanna had admitted as much and she had wanted what we'd done to be played out to that script, she'd even said it to me in not so many words.

Despite perhaps not consciously knowing, inside I knew all along what would be happening. It was after all, as she had said, that if it progressed this far, that it would be something we both would know was coming. I even know that on many a Wednesday night I had said I would be elated if Suzanna took the lead and asked me to wait but it truly was her doing it that was what I felt. It didn't feel contrived, it felt natural. I did and still do feel like I'm on a rollercoaster right now. Saturday night was that first hill where you lose your stomach and it sets the motion for the rest of the ride.


Sunday morning, well, rather early Sunday afternoon was when I finally satisfied my needs with Suzanna. She said she felt great - including her pussy - and that she'd slept very well. I laughed that a good fucking will do that and I almost said that I'll bet Paul slept good too! Finally after a late breakfast she came to me and opened her robe and told me it was my turn. To say I ran upstairs is an understatement.

There she greeted me just as she'd greeted Paul and the thought of him slowly assuming the alpha role with her was heavily on my mind. Her pussy was warm and still wet inside and she admitted she was turned on and wanted me. Seeing her in all her glory and visualizing all I'd seen and more, I was rock hard in a moment. She gave me some lube to use and in a second I pushed my way into her easily. It was the first time we'd talked and she said she had a great time and again said thank you. I told her the same and that I had loved watching her. She coyly asked if I'd watched 'the second time'. I told her yes and she said she hoped I had but hadn't been sure. As I started to fuck her harder and harder I told her how beautiful she looked and how turned on it made me.

Despite the quick jerk session watching them on Saturday, I was still quite horny on Sunday and as she teased me a bit about 'having to wait' and 'seconds' I couldn't take too much more. She was horny and moaning herself as what she was saying was obviously turning her on too. When I finally felt her gush into her own orgasm the thoughts of her cumming like this on Paul's cock and him spewing his cum where my cock was now, well, all of that pushed me over the edge and I followed along and let go like I hadn't cum in weeks!


We've talked a lot since then but nothing further than her saying she may see him on Thursday nights as well as over the weekends if she can. To be honest, the past 2 days have been a blur so there hasn't been much more said. She has however asked me several times if everything is okay and I've always answered 'yes'. Several times I have told her how what she did, taking control like that, really turned me on.

Even now 3 days later, I can't recall specifics such as who said what and when, but I can surely recall the visions and feeling about what I saw and experienced. Granted it's not the first time I've seen her have sex with someone so for as earth-shattering as it is to see, it isn't the first time, but it feels like it emotionally.

To maybe explain it better, it amplifies the emotions I am feeling. It's like every movement seems to convey something. In reality, it all took about 15, maybe 20 minutes the first time and the second time watching from the door, actual fucking, maybe 10 minute tops and that's the rush of it all, the way it feels for so long afterwards. The knowing feeling when I'm with her now, knowing yet another man has shared her intimacies, I can't describe the crazy rush of feelings other than to say they are intoxicating.

I know that perhaps I do add a bit of 'action' to put the different pieces in my head together. Did he really tease her pussy so many times with his cock; did she really moan quite so loudly; did she 'tell' me to leave the room or did she maybe 'ask' me to leave the room? Honestly, she could have asked it with a question in her voice but to me, I wanted to hear her tell it to me so that's what I felt.

Anyway, it's quite late now and again I've let my desire or need to write consume me a bit more but it feels good to let it out. I know what's coming and she's right, but by then, it'll probably feel right.


She’s going to be working late today as she volunteered to stay home this morning and wait for some deliveries from some stuff she's ordered on-line. She already hinted that she wanted to 'talk more' tonight which I know will mean more teasing and likely some talk about things to come. I am hard already.

I suppose she did give me a treat letting me watch but since then she's also apologized for not letting me be a bigger part of it instead of just me watching. I told her that it was what I wanted and admitted that it was what I expected too. Thinking about it more clearly now, I was definitely dreaming when I thought maybe she'd want to have a quickie or more with me after all of that. I guess maybe the reluctance I feel is still some resistance somewhere to what I am sure is on the horizon. I know I want it, but at the same time, after being with her now for so long since she was with Robert - almost a year - I guess in some ways I've gotten used to the alpha-role despite my desire to be elsewhere.

I know it's coming and the reality that I feel today is that I am surely going to miss feeling her bare. Yet, seeing her with Paul, I know it's what she wants even if she hasn't come out and said it yet out of feelings or concerns for me. In some ways I think once he came in her that first time, she'd already switched gears. Perhaps later tonight she'll share with me some of her thoughts on how the next parts of things will work with Paul and him becoming more aware of our cuckold desires.

I wonder about going out with them socially and I think that eventually that will happen more often. As with everything else though, I really want to see what and how things happen as they develop normally at their own pace without me suggesting or leading things. I won't say I'm in cuckold-heaven just yet as despite it all, I think it's the last part of the alpha-me that has again become acutely aware of what I will be giving up. I know I've felt this way before so I expect these feelings to resolve themselves over the next few weeks as things progress.

Suzanna has already said she will want to see him more often. That's all but it wouldn't surprise me if a second day is added soon, possibly adding a weekend visit to what seems to be an established Thursday schedule. I also fully expect that her first overnight with him is coming soon. As I said, so many thoughts, both about what already happened as well as about what will be coming.

Let me go get some dinner going for us.

New book time.