Journal of a Journey - Book 76

Suzanna was supposed to leave about 4:30pm to meet Paul so you can imagine my surprise when about 4pm I hear her on her cellphone in the bedroom. The sound was muffled and I couldn't hear but a few minutes later she came down and sat on the couch next to me and looked at me and said, "do you want to come with me?”

Surprised is an understatement but she said that Paul, as a joke at first, had made the suggestion. When Suzanna had responded that 'he might want to' about me joining them, that was what led to the phone call I was hearing through the bedroom door. I later learned they'd also been texting each other about it). She looked at me and said that they would want some 'alone time' and she'd told him that I might be okay with that. At first he seemed surprised but when Suzanna said we were serious, they talked about it and she insisted that I would be okay with what she'd just told me; that the 3 of us can have some fun but that she wants some time alone with him.

We talked briefly and she said that in talking with Paul via email while he was away that she told him that I really wanted to be a part of things. If he was okay with it (apparently she used the example from the Sunday when he was here) Suzanna told him that "it'll be like that again....," leading to, " …. he'll leave us alone for a while too....".

So, instead of yardwork, I showered and then drove Suzanna to Paul's place. He had a nice condominium, 2 floors, and balcony off the back bedroom upstairs; a bachelor place for sure, with dark furniture and colours and that sort of stuff. It was almost eerie to see Suzanna acting as if she was so at home there. Paul was ever the gentleman and welcomed me openly into his home.

I had distant recollections of times when I'd joined Suzanna at Dan's and Frank's homes and my exterior calmness was quite different from the queasiness I felt as Suzanna gave Paul a huge hug and a kiss that itself bordered on pornography as both his and her hands wandered all over each other. However, I made sure to show no concern and I think Paul was more nervous than me until he saw that I was fine with them.

Their original plan was to go out for drinks and when Paul offered me a beer I asked her if the plans had changed. It was actually Paul who said to me that he wasn't sure if I'd be okay if we all went out and I think he was genuinely surprised when I said it would be fine and Suzanna even added that, "we've done this before.... but not for a long time now".

I won't recap all of the idle conversation but just say that the 3 of us got into Paul’s car and headed over to the bar they'd planned to go to before going out to dinner. I admit the bar was a little more intimate than I'd thought, more of a club than a sports-bar, if you will, and I gave them some space telling Suzanna I had to make a phone call for work; I gave them 15 minutes or so. When I came back in I saw them sitting closer and kissing a bit so I made sure they could see my approach and by the time I got to the table they'd moved apart. Like when they were at our house, I joked about "...interrupting the lovebirds" which Suzanna groaned at but Paul had this surprised look in his eyes that I was serious after hearing me say it again.

More idle talk at the bar with Paul sharing about the nice weather he'd had in California and him telling that the trip was partly business; partly vacation with ****** as he took some sort of class while he was out there so the trip would be deductible. Only an accountant would think of that! They were very particular about keeping the conversation to things I could talk about and there was only a few times did things steer to where the 2 of them were talking directly to each other.

We all had a pleasant buzz and were relaxed for dinner. It wasn't a far drive to the restaurant, a steak place that I'd heard about but we'd never been to so it was something new for Suzanna and I. Again, dinner was pleasant and I again offered them two definite alone-moments to go and make calls, one before our entrees were served when I just felt that she wanted to be alone with him for a few minutes (she complimented me on my timing of that) and again after dinner when I came back and could see that they'd moved closer together; this time stayed that way.

While Paul was away from the table Suzanna looked at me and asked if we could do the same sort of thing that we'd done at our house. It took me a second to think about it and then I smiled and said, "let me guess, you also want me to leave you two alone after I'm done". She needed no words, the smile and look on her face said yes louder than needed. A few minutes later we were back in Paul’s car, the 2 of them in the front (obviously holding hands and trying to keep it hidden).

It seemed like we were back at his place very quickly and once there, the mood turned amorous very quickly. Suzanna disappeared at one point and returned a few minute later in a silky robe beneath which she had on just a tight white camisole and pair of silky panties. She quietly came back into the room, gave a discrete cough and both Paul and I looked up and stared in silence at her. She came up to Paul and kissed him sensuously and then she whispered something to him like, "give me a second" and then she came over to me, kissed me and whispered whether Paul could go first and then after "you have your turn" if I would leave them alone for the end when she wanted to just be with him. I looked at her and before I could ask she said, "he hasn't been tested yet so he's going to use a condom". That made me feel somehow more at ease.

When I nodded and said, "okay" she literally turned to Paul and took his hand and as she walked and pulled his hand she said, "give us a few baby...." and the two of them walked up the stairs to his bedroom. I realized then as I stood there just how horny they had been during the evening and in a way, I was surprised at how restrained they'd been for this whole time. I have to say that as I realized this that I felt awesome about the two of them going off like they had up to his room and my cock grew rock hard at the thoughts of them getting started without me. I remember thinking how excited it will be when I go up and hopefully she'll be naked already.

For the next 10-15 minutes or so I had all sorts of visions of what I'll see when I head up there. I heard some movement, noises, rustling; low voices, moans and it just turned me on incredibly knowing what was going on just above me.


She later shared that Paul hadn't known of any of this part of things, actually she didn't either except that she'd said she'd thought about it. What I didn't hear from them was him asking her if this was okay and was I, "really okay with it". It was when I didn't come upstairs straightaway that she said he finally believed her. She also told me he was very reluctant to really get things started with her without me there too until she said to him that I would enjoy and be turned on by hearing them (of course, I didn't know this till the ride home afterwards).

I looked around his place, nothing I didn't expect, not too luxurious but comfortable. Nice TV and sound system and a computer where I figured he'd been emailing Suzanna from. I tried to bide my time and walked back and forth to the stairs two more times before I decided enough time had gone by. I was quiet as I walked up the stairs and peeked into the room. My cock was hard as a rock when I looked in and saw Suzanna still in her camisole and panties (well, the panties looked like they'd been pulled down a bit) kneeling at the edge of the bed sucking Paul’s cock. I had never really seen it clearly other than the in-motion and in-condom time at our house but this time she was sucking him and he was bare and I could see what she meant about the shape of his cock more clearly. I remember staring for a second and realizing what she'd been saying to me about how he felt different inside her and I could see it clearly. In a way it actually gave me a pause for relief in that I had wondered why she'd become a bit infatuated with him when he was kind of an ordinary guy. Now seeing her tongue dart into the tip of his big cock head and then lick all around, I started to understand a lot more clearly what she was hoping for in the future; for sure, he was probably going to feel really different inside her.

All those thoughts went through my head in about 3 seconds as I stood there looking in at them. Neither of them saw me until I pushed the door open and he stopped moving and stood still. She turned her head and tilted her eyes towards me and smiled and pulled his cock out of her mouth and said, "hi baby". The scene was something as I already said that I haven't seen in years, the candidness of it; the look in his eyes of whether I was going to punch his lights out; the knowing look on her face, knowing what the look on my face said.

I walked in and when I saw her smile I said softly at first but then again more loudly, "she's good, huh?".

He was quiet for a second and then said, "oh yeah man, really good" and when I smiled and walked up to her and touched her shoulder gently she continued to suck him. I think all 3 of us let out a collective sigh of relief.

I slid her straps on her camisole down and I could hear her breathing get deeper as I ******* her breasts and she willingly alternated hands on his cock to let me pull her top all the way down to her waist. I could feel her body as I held her breasts and I made eye motions for Paul to take one while I took the other. She let out an audible moan as he caressed one tit and I moved in to suck at the other one; he moved to one side to let me get at her and did she ever return the favour to him sucking him deep into her mouth in a way that made even me jealous.

It was kind of a weird scene, I was still dressed, Suzanna was naked to the waist and just had panties on and Paul was naked from the waist down.

I can't remember how things worked but somehow Suzanna managed to stand up and I slid her panties off. I can remember vividly watching as she spread her legs and Paul's hand moved down from her breasts to her pussy. I do remember how intensely proud and the awesomely arousing feeling as I watched Paul’s fingers slip effortlessly into the folds of her pussy. What really turned me on was the obvious familiarity he demonstrated with her, knowing just how to gently tease her clit and her pussy lips before pushing his fingers inside her body. She arched her back as his fingers buried in her pussy teased all of her most delicious places. That was what got to me and I stood up and got undressed. I don't think either of them noticed that I'd stepped away.

She lay back on the bed and Paul took off his shirt as he lay down next to her, both naked, and as. I was stepping out of my pants they turned to each other and started to kiss. By the time I was naked, the two of them were in a deep embrace.

I should have moved faster but to be honest I was loving standing there watching her respond to him. Seeing the familiarity he had with her body was just amazing.

I stood there, squirming; it's been so long since I’ve actually seen her with a lover that I honestly enjoyed watching her thoroughly. I could clearly remember so many other times including the very first (which they say you never forget..) but this time, I have to say that seeing it all unfold before me, it really was beautiful. Again I think it was how comfortable they seemed together, it was so clear that they'd been together many times. Seeing her lie on her side and to see her so willingly raise one knee to literally present her pussy to him, I know a part of me was cringing at watching yet another man share her but, my god, that's such a small part compared to the sheer excitement I felt at seeing her labia spread apart and reveal her in all her wet glory to be waiting for him!

All of a sudden the mood went from playfully amorous to tense when I realized that Paul was looking at me. I only knew that because Suzanna had turned towards me and motioned with her eyes again towards Paul. He was up on one elbow mid-motion as he was making his way down her body. I sat back on the bed now naked and I guess I nodded or made some motion because Suzanna moaned and lay onto her back with her leg now touching me and as I smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her I felt him move. As we kissed I felt her focus change and I moved to see that Paul was now playing with her pussy and licking his fingers in between. I said something like, "it's okay" and I guess that was the right thing because a second later he leaned down and licked her pussy while I watched.

I felt the first real cuckold tingling when he looked up at her a moment later and right in front of me she raised her head and looked at him and said, "see, I told you he likes watching …". She turned to me, "… don't you baby?”

I was speechless but wicked horny from what she said but again, maybe she did tell him about it ahead of time as he said nothing in return until I moaned, "yeah, you look hot with him". I guess maybe that made sense somehow to me, that I could talk to her but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to tell Paul to 'fuck her good', I'm not sure if I ever could or ever will be able. I mean I love hearing her saying stuff but maybe it's yet another quirk that I can't seem to say that sort of thing to her lovers!

It was obvious that she wanted him from how she was lying there after he'd pulled his face away from her pussy. I also learned that he likes to call it her honey-pot or honey-hole or something like that. I hadn't heard that term in years, made me smile at how polite it seemed and yet how true, especially given how she looked lying in between us in the dimmed lights in his room. I so recalled times seeing Dan fucking her just to show to me how much he 'owned' herwhen we were together back then but how now there was none of that animosity at all. I felt her hand pull at mine and I leaned down and kissed her again as I knew Paul was running his hands all over her (she was making no secret of it) when I moved back she looked at me and said loud enough for Paul to hear something like, "can we do like last time; let Paul and I have some fun first?”

And so again I felt the true cuckold honour of saying 'yes' to her request to let Paul be the first to enter her. She handed him a condom and said, like it was an excuse, "soon" as she gave it to him with the obvious meaning of that they might not be needed in the future. That was again when I saw his cock and I could again see the particularly larger head above what was an obviously narrower shaft on his cock and I saw that after the condom was on, the shape was hidden. My stomach churned as I saw him apply a little lubricant to the condom and then seeing him press his cock against her. He lay it lengthwise between her swollen pussy lips and he moved it up and down, something I've done with her for ages, each time pushing up to rub at her clit.

I've seen it before but each time it feels like the first in a way. Seeing the large head of his cock rubbing up and down and then teasing the entrance to her 'honey hole'. It was definitely obscenely pornographic at how he would push into her a little and then pull out totally leaving her gaping open revealing how wet she was. I know it sounds like this was some slut-laden scene but it wasn't. If anything it was, as I'd already said, quite beautiful. She looked so willing and into it and comfortable that it seemed like perhaps it was a scene being acted but being acted just for me. I am sure she wasn't aware of this at all, and as with every other moment, it may have only gone on for a few seconds but I can assure you for those few seconds (and the ones to come!) I am every bit a beta.

He pushed at her pussy over and over and each time I realized that he was going deeper and deeper into her until I realized that he'd stretched her wide open and she was now easily accepting this huge headed cock on each thrust. I had her hand in mine and I could feel her body through it, I could feel her give way to an orgasm from him and I have to tell you, it was just an incredible moment. I can't say it was earth shaking, but she definitely thrashed about beneath him and I know for a few moments there he remained buried in her and he could obviously feel her pussy clenching down on him. I almost came from just watching them, not sure how he didn't let go in her but somehow he didn't.

Now I am sure I am missing a lot in here, but it all happened so fast at some points and so slowly at others. All I can remember is her then somehow stroking my cock and Paul continuing to ride her until he started to moan louder and louder. I seem to remember her even having to push him off her and then her looking up at me and she said in this sexy groggy voice that it was my turn next.

I took my turn and all I can remember is seeing him leaning down to kiss her as I started to fuck her bare. Wet from the lubricant and her own juices and stretched wide from him, I was immediately aware of how she felt, especially after 2 weeks without him, it was noticeable and, damn, it really turned me on. She knew it, even orchestrated it all (maybe not1) and all I could say was that she felt awesome and even when he wasn't kissing her, maybe because I'm a bit longer and thicker all around cock-wise, I didn't feel intimidated at all. Instead it felt awesome to fuck her and let him watch. I enjoyed letting him see her respond to me too and as I kissed her she arched her back and seemed to pull me in.

I didn't stand a chance and a moment later I felt her pull her legs around mine and tell me something like, "come on baby …. .your turn...". She looked awesome and I know it's going to sound weird but I liked knowing she wanted to maybe give herself to him as I let loose in her and she squealed as I came deep in her. I felt her cum but I also felt her hold back a bit and I knew why. When I felt myself finishing I pulled out of her while I was still hard and seeing the smile on her face I knew I had done the right thing.

Regardless, of the similarities or dissimilarities to last time when I had seen them fuck before, I am telling you it felt like the honourable thing to do to let them have their reunion fuck first. I'll also tell you that it felt like the first time all over again so in that sense, it's all a bit new to me right now in terms of seeing them together. It was something I mentioned to her last night that, in my head, they are in one place and in reality they are in another. I expected to see awkwardness, not smooth fluid motions; I expected to see her correcting or directing him a bit. Which is why I keep mentioning how comfortable they seemed together.

She also told me that she'd told Paul that he needed to relax and believe her that I was okay with this and that I had seen her before with other guys. I don't think he really believed that till this past weekend. As I said, he's remained respectful with me so it all feels like he's going along with things and figuring it out as we go along. No one mentioned anything about his condom-use despite it being something that was a part of things. She did later tell me that by next weekend that she expected him to do whatever, testing-wise.

The obvious important part was the unsaid communication between Suzanna and I as I finished cumming in her was that look of 'thank you' for giving the moment to her. I would have and could have easily kept thrusting into her and enjoyed the next few moments incredibly, but I also knew what I felt and knew what she'd want. This was much more of what I'd referred to as 'the same as last time'.

For me, the feeling I had at that moment was that I'd cum and what I was about to do was for her pleasure, her extreme pleasure and at that moment I knew she'd want to share it with him if she could. The feeling of pulling out of her was intense and if I can use a word, exquisite. I'd love to say that I knelt there and looked down at her and that Paul and I shared a knowing glance and all of that but the reality is that I pulled out of her in a huff and I simply rolled onto my side away from them. I don't even think it was a second thought for any of us, as I moved away, she turned and leaned towards him and he simply climbed back into place and push his stiff cock back into her.

Again, it was the smoothness of it all that struck me. I expected some fumbling, some talking, 'something' but instead there were just a few grunts and a second later, he was back inside her and her legs were wrapped around him this time. I saw for a glimpse that he penetrated her effortlessly but her clenched legs around him blocked any view I had. I remember thinking for a moment that I should move for a better view but then I immediately felt guilty about wanting to be such an obvious voyeur and moving to be staring so intently at where he was penetrating her. I didn't need to worry for, as she's since shared, he likes it when she will hold her legs back for him and so I got to see and learn about this firsthand as Paul intensified his fucking of her as she moved into this position.

If there was a moment when I felt that queasy feeling, it was this one, seeing her focused totally on him and now, her doing more to literally give herself to him. Yes, I felt that same way with Frank and earlier, but until you see this happen you probably cannot understand the feeling of every time feeling like a first time. I'd not seen this level of comfort before and now, the pleasure that was associated with it.

I'll also say that no matter how I enjoy all of this, I am quite sure that like me there isn't a cuck out there who doesn't still feel a bit of angst and even revulsion at some point watching another man enjoying your wife. It passes quickly but I wouldn't ever deny it, there's always some point when I feel 'no way, I can't take it'. Once past it, I realize there's little more that she can truly keep from him and, again, that she's really beautiful seeing the total absence of any stress or concern on her, just her head tilted back with this wild distant look in her eye as she arches her back feeling him deeper in her.

I guess that is something I can say I observed this time, once in her, his cock looked rather small penetrating her but to be honest, even I wanted to reach in and pull off the condom, if for no reason other than to simply see things better. Even the translucent one he was using still took away from the view when he did pull back from her and I could see more clearly. What I do remember is that she didn't look 'stretched' or anything like that as he penetrated her and it took my brain to fill in the blanks at was she was feeling because it was fairly obvious that she was heading towards that huge orgasm that I'd deprived her of.

Again, this time with the amount of comfort I saw, it was obvious they'd gotten a rhythm going and that she was very much enjoying what I can only assume was him pulling himself back against the front of her pussy before plunging that big head back down inside her. I say it was obvious because she was visibly responding to him this time and both of them seemed to be much more into it and also making it more visible to me … or so it seemed. I know at many points he pushed deeply into her and remained there only to pull back and then do it again.

He's not a big bulky guy; if anything he has less body-hair than me. I can't explain it but somehow he appears less manly to me than I do and, to be honest, I think that's part of why I feel okay about watching him with them. I've said that I don't feel threatened and I don't; maybe that's why.

Again I know it sounds like this all took 30 minute or whatever, but the reality is that it's probably taken me longer to type all of this than it actually took. In my head they fucked for ages until she finally succumbed. In reality when I think about the time, we're probably talking under 10 minutes for all of this. She'd cum with me, not that huge one, but she definitely had. It's easy to tell as afterwards her pussy really opens up and she can take an amazing amount of fucking and that was what I felt, the incredible feeling of pushing deep into her and not being able to resist it and simply letting loose. I know it left her feeling open and wanting more so it was really no surprise to me that it didn't take long before the two of them reached that same point. Maybe his condom delayed the inevitable for a few more minutes but, sure enough, not more than 10 minutes later he slammed deep into her and as she held her legs back for him, he came deep in her and filled the condom.

She grunted that she wanted to feel him and I guess he remembered because after a moment of stillness, he proceeded to fuck her as hard and as deep as he could almost pulling out each time to slamming his pubes up against her body, making her grunt at times. I'd like to say I did this or I did that but the reality is that I was just stuck in the moment. I had one hand on her shoulder or stroking her hair but the reality is that at that moment it was just them two. Her eyes closed slowly and I don't know that she had this huge orgasm like last time but it was obvious that he'd hit the right places as she squealed and shook beneath him and only slowly afterwards did she calm down and look up and smile at him.

I was going to say something but she turned her head, mouthed 'I love you' to me before turning back to him.

Again, I'm sure I've glossed over tons of details, but at that moment, the feeling I distinctly had was that she was saying, "thank you, now give me some time with him".

I smiled even though she didn't see me and I moved off the other side of the bed. I said out loud, "I'll be back" or something like that but I don't think either of them heard me. I walked towards his bathroom and turned back to look at them and I realized they were kissing while he was still in her. A moment of concern about the condom still on him in her came to me but I couldn't see how, or really, why, I should say anything.

So, I stood there and watched my wife and her lover sharing a post-fuck moment where there could have been an explosion outside and I don't think they'd have even noticed it. I went into his bathroom and closed the door while I got cleaned up. I made the door closing noise as loud as I could and I gave them a lot of time (at least it seemed like a lot of time) and by the time I did come back out they had pulled a sheet up over them and were both sitting next to each other in bed. For the first time there was a bit of awkwardness until I said something like, "you guys are finally done". That brought a laugh from them both and a moment later Paul said something like, "my turn" and he slid out of bed and walked naked into the bathroom. She laughed when he closed the door and turned to me and kissed me again. For a moment it felt like it had just been the two of us as we kissed and I hugged her and felt her bare breasts against me but then we both heard noises from the bathroom and were brought back to reality. I asked her if she'd had fun and she blushed and said, "yes.... duh...." She pushed me and then said she wanted to start getting dressed and, "… can you wait for us downstairs?” I had already pulled most of my clothes back on so I kissed her on the forehead and told her okay.

It wasn't more than 5 minutes later when she came down and a moment behind her Paul came down. He came up to me and shook my hand and said, "thank you". After a second he said that it's all kind of weird still to him but that he wasn't going to question if 'if it works for you'. I looked at him and said 'thank you' back and then said that I'd meet Suzanna out in the car. Those were some of the longest 2 minutes till she came out and got in the car next to me. The first thing she did was hug me hugely and kiss me and say how wonderful I was with everything tonight, "especially what you did for me....”


The experience with them on Saturday was, in retrospect, very good for me. It sounds weird to say it this way, but if there's someone I feel okay about giving Suzanna to, then he's the one. I have a good vibe from Paul all around both in how respectful he seems to be with me but also, clearly, how responsive she is with him. I don't know why she put up such a fuss earlier in seeing him unless they truly just weren't in sync with each other because from what I saw, I have no doubt about how they seem together.

I suppose, I thought she would want someone much more aggressive and physical, so in a way I still have a nagging doubt that she is settling on Paul for lack of wanting to wait any longer but, at the same time, I felt all of the feelings and desires that I had wanted to feel. Again, I thought she would be with someone who would be much more forceful but in absence of that, they seem to be very compatible together. In a way the bar was set quite low with Suzanna perhaps really just desiring another physically-fit guy who she can put into her vision of what she'd wanted and enjoy being with. Or, maybe, there are signs that I haven't seen yet, that may yet reveal themselves.

What I can say is that after seeing them together it has definitely re-ignited my cuckold desires. That his cock is a different shape and directly feeds into my cuckold desires and thoughts is a big benefit too. It may sound weird but I think I may have felt differently about all of this had he been shaped the same as most guys. Seeing him in her and seeing how each pull back by him seemed to reveal more and more wetness, even I now am eager for next weekend to get here and to see him in her bare. The thought of finally seeing his cum in her in addition to (or instead of!) mine is now long overdue for both of us.

Probably the most amazing feeling is that I have of actually wanting this to happen for her. I know I've felt this before, even when she was seeing Robert who remained a mystery, I know that from how she was. This time, how they seem together, I was eager and happy for things to develop further and it's amazing to feel it again. When I left them alone in his room, it felt good to me to do it. I am sure she knows it, but to me, knowing they could hear the door close when I went into the bathroom or when they heard me downstairs leaving them alone upstairs, it's a moment that I wanted to happen and genuinely wanted to give them.

I can say she's been all a-flutter since then about 'finally' and that the conversation about him being tested was already a foregone conclusion. Apparently he is getting some sort of general testing done to satisfy all her curiosity and that he also said he'd have no problem doing the over-the-counter HIV test that's like $40 at CVS. Suzanna offered to do the same if he wanted but he said that he didn't feel it necessary even with her telling him about our past!

When I asked about what she's thinking about for the weekend she giggled yesterday and said, "lets save that for Wednesday night.


Suzanna has requested that Paul be the next to have sex with her this week … at our house … this coming Saturday. She reminded me of this request again this evening which made me realize that she meant it and wasn't joking last night as I'd thought. In hindsight I should have seen this coming which reminds me of what she had said to me all along, that it wasn't going to happen overnight and that I would see it happening. I now see that it has begun so my concerns about whether she's settled for him or whether he's the right guy obviously don't matter so all is well that I like him and feel comfortable with him.

I haven't mentioned it to her but a subject I would like us to start talking about is exactly what she's thinking about how things progress both in general as well as regarding my own desires. I think it'd be nice for me to feel we are on the same page or that at least I'm aware of what she's thinking before things progress much further with Paul. I am not sure if he's the kind of guy who will feel empowered by any of this or whether he'll merely go along with Suzanna's lead. I can say that I am excited to see it happen, whatever it brings, it is progress along our path and there is really no way to deny the palpable change I feel in Suzanna already. Thinking about the long-term, I suppose that is possible and in some ways, likely either now or at some time, but right now I can't envision of how Paul will be or how he'd respond to all of this. The status so far she's a semi-cheating with wife with a husband who enjoys her playing around.


It is clear that Suzanna is taking a bit of a more aggressive role herself as she has now said she is more comfortable with what I'm feeling. To whit, at one point last night she seemed quite serious in a little conversation as I was stroking away where she said that I should be the one to tell Paul how I feel and what I want to happen. I heard a slight tease in her voice as she continued saying it would be good for all of us if I kept going as I have been with him so far and continue to, "welcome him to have me" (her words!). It turned me on that she was teasing me as at first I thought she was serious and when I laughed at her she giggled back but then did say, "seriously baby, would you ever consider telling him instead of me?"

I told her no and we talked for a few minutes about why I felt that way and I told her that it just made me feel too much (too much what? I still don't know) to tell him that. She asked me what if I knew he was okay with it and that it turned him on too (I don't know if she knows this) and I told her that maybe, but I couldn't see how it could ever happen but I will admit that I stayed hard the whole time and when she asked me if the idea turned me on in any way I told her a weak 'maybe'.

The real focus of her teasing was mainly how horny she was and how she couldn't wait for the next guy to be Paul who she'll have sex with and she played up that I was, "just going to have to wait your turn". Needless to say when she put her fingers down to her pussy and then brought them back both wet and smelling like arousal it really turned me on. She continued her teasing asking me if, "he could maybe stay the night?" and a very teasing, "how would you feel about waiting till he leaves (be it Saturday or Sunday!)". As I said, she is definitely feeling more comfortable. She knew that it would send me over the edge when she talked about, "finally feeling him bare … " and yes, obviously, "…. finally feeling him cum in me" to which she proceeded to pull up her night shirt and show me her pussy and ask me whether I was ready to see another man’s cum in her again!

Well that did it, especially when she spread it slightly open and revealed the dark pink glistening interior that I immediately realized that Paul would be the next to feel! I promptly erupted all over including a huge spurt almost to my chin which brought a huge squeal from Suzanna. As I finished cumming and afterwards as she commented about my cum and used that delicious phrase about, "it not being in me". That thought consumed me as she brought a few fingerfuls up to my mouth as how quickly this talk returned when she has another guy cumming in her. It made me realize that I hadn't really heard that kind of talk for the past few months.

Needless to say, even after a huge orgasm last night with her, these thoughts are filling my head and have me again horny.


It is happening. Suzanna is all excited today like I haven't seen in a long time. She's out now getting her nails done so she feels 'all pretty' (her words) when Paul gets here. I joked with her back that it's a good idea and laughed when I said, "nail polish may be all you'll have on later" and that made her laugh too.

I have a good feeling about today, things seemed to be very agreeable between her and Paul and it's obvious she wants things to go just right so all the stars are aligned. I am a little surprised about the changes in her but perhaps they have been growing and simmering in her until she had the right circumstances, a regular boyfriend again, to let them out. I have to say, it felt awesome when she started to tease me a bit more pointedly. Even this morning before she went out she seemed to make a point of letting me see all of her after her shower. She didn’t say anything but did linger knowing I was staring at her.

She had said she'd talked with Paul and told him that I liked her with other guys so it's possible that she's already revealed more about me and my desires. She wasn't thinking of me telling him this weekend though but she said again, "when we are ready" so I know she wants this to happen more slowly. I know that she's elated about how things developed with Paul leading to today, that it wasn't something they rushed into, etc.

I'm still not so sure that Paul is her 'Mr. Right', or just her 'Mr. Now'. As I have said, I have thought she would want someone a bit more aggressive or a bit more demanding or dom-oriented so a part of me still has the thought that Paul is just her guy for the moment and that it all feels comfortable enough to get into and enjoy but maybe not someone that Suzanna will get totally carried away with.

She's told me many times so far that I don't have anything to worry about with Paul. That is reassuring; if she wants to experience more with him and if she wants that increased exclusivity with him, then yes, I think I am ready to let it happen. As I already shared, she's said many times 'when the time is right' so I know that it isn't something we're jumping into all of a sudden.

Given history, how things developed between them and my own conjecture, after today I am figuring that things will escalate in the next few weeks. I'm sure the events over that time will certainly show what direction things are heading in. With the reality of this evening setting in, I am continually asking myself if this is what I truly want and every time I come back to saying 'yes'. I know it seems crazy but right now, yes, I would in some ways welcome her escalating sexuality and for me to be able to be there, observe and even be a part of it; yes, it excites me beyond belief. I still cannot articulate why, but the thought of her giving herself to Paul and only sharing that type of sexual pleasure with him still turns me on to no end. I am sure I will rue the decision afterwards but at the same time I have such fond and intense memories of this when she was seeing Robert and the incredible sense of satisfaction that it left me with, that I really do want to see if it happens again.

Right now my cock is rock hard even though I know I will be waiting until late tonight to have my relief. She's already alleviated my concern about him staying over as that's very doubtful so I know that I will just have to wait for her.

I am so friggin' turned on that my cock has been leaking pre-cum all morning ever since seeing Suzanna when she got changed and seeing her body that Paul will have first tonight and yes, seeing her pussy that Paul will be the next to fill with cum. Oh, she knew where my mind was as she bent over giving me clear view of her pussy. She giggled and snickered at my blatant staring at her!

I feel like a total cuckold in that I want to straighten up the house a bit while she's out at the manicurist!

Another book filled. I'll tidy up my study at the same time!