Journal of a Journey - Book 67

Last night was definitely a continuation of the recent past with Suzanna continuing to try to get me to be opening up and sharing my thoughts and desires. There was obvious sexual tension between us from when I got home late from work. I was horny and annoyed that I'd gotten stuck at the office late and then got caught in traffic; that, plus that I haven't seen her pussy now since when we were away over last weekend. I was hoping that when we got into bed that maybe she'd give me a treat and take them off.

She did not.

I told her how horny it was making me not seeing her pussy and she said, "I'm not ready yet; I'm still annoyed a bit .... and I'm enjoying how it's making you feel".

We talked a bit about how it made me feel not being able to see her and asked me if I fantasized about her taking them off for her lover and not me. I hoarsely said, "yes."

She held my hand at that point and said that she just wants to hear all the crazy stuff that I think about, what turns me on. Then she said what made me feel much more comfortable, she said in a way that just conveyed sincerity, that this was just us talking about fantasies and , "... I know you'd probably never want some of this to happen for real" and proceeded to tell me how much it turned her on to know what really turned me on and how I felt. At one point she said, " ... like the whole 'knock me up' thing...."; how she knew that was just fantasy between us and that " ... it couldn't, and wouldn't ever happen ..." but that she loved knowing that she and I shared the idea as something that made us horny.

It was weird and I told her that in a way I felt guilty about feeling this way and that I felt guilty about the 'perversity' of my thoughts; that in a way I feel guilty and almost embarrassed to tell her how I feel.

She looked at me and it was almost as if she felt the same way or was thinking the same as she told me that she thought that made sense and she empathized how hard it must be for me to really come out and talk about this more openly. She said again how 'we're just talking' and how this is just fun for us and that I shouldn't feel weird or uncomfortable about anything. She said again how she'd never judge me or think any less of me for what I might be thinking.

As we spoke even I could tell that I was becoming more relaxed in what I was saying and that I felt less awkward in telling her things. She'd already coaxed my boxers off and at one point knelt next to me still in her panties and she talked openly about how she felt as I stroked myself. I guess it was her turn to show me how relaxed and open she could be. She told me how keeping her panties on was making her horny to find another lover and how aroused it made her feel to know she wasn't letting me see her. She told me she's masturbated herself to the thought of only her lover getting to take her panties off and how wet she gets sometimes thinking about only spreading her legs (her words, not mine) for her lover. She said more which included how horny she feels thinking about only feeling her lover's cum in her.

As I got more into it she encouraged me to start to talk to her. I admit, it felt much easier and when I turned my head and saw her panties it spurred me on. I can't even really say what it was that I said that was new to her but maybe I sounded more 'sincere' when I told her how horny it made me to want to see her pussy and whether she was wet she was beneath and to not know whether she's trimmed or shaved her pubes. I told her that the thought would drive me crazy if she was seeing another guy right now and she squealed at me telling her that.

I was so hard already and I have to say that it did feel better to talk to her. Her soft moans and understanding sounding sighs really relaxed me. Again, it's not like I told her anything new, but it all felt a little different.

She brought up going back to using condoms at some point and I told her how horny it made me feel to think about. Again, not sure what was different but she talked to me and it just felt calmer and we actually fantasized together for a few minutes. I told her how it made me feel knowing what I was doing and that it meant only her lover would feel her bare. She was into it and told me how horny she knows she'll feel when she's ready to ask me for that and she told me how wet she gets thinking of how she'll feel when she reaches that point in the future. I told her that it's one of the thoughts that really makes me hard and she giggled and said, "I can see that...”

She encouraged me more and started to tell me again how horny she felt seeing me masturbating and loved to see me cum reminding me that she loves that 'it's not in me'.

Again, I knew some of this was just fantasizing and that seemed to make it even more arousing and intense. At the end I told her how horny she made me and that I loved what we were sharing and how I hoped she wanted this as much as I do.

She cooed in my ear at the end and told me that she loved hearing, "how much you like my boyfriend fucking me". That was it, whew, I spewed all over my chest and stomach and I even felt my lower body twitch and shiver with some of the spurts! But hearing her moan was probably the most erotic part that just made me feel so good knowing she'd been so turned on watching me.

Afterwards she lay next to me and lazily dragged her finger through all the cum and she told me that she loved me and that she loved that 'I finally opened up'. She told me again how she knows how hard it was for me to talk to her and that she wanted this to continue and she kissed me deeply. After she kissed me she leaned down and sucked my softening cock in her mouth which just felt incredible as she gently sucked and licked me clean. Then, as usual from the past she looked at me and asked, "You want it?"

I just smiled and nodded and with a big smile on her face, she scooped up my cum and teased my tongue with her wet fingers. With the last fingerful she leaned down and kissed me.


Our son surprised us and came home from college on Saturday evening so we've been busy either going out or with other relatives stopping by here. Suzanna conked out earlier and I am now soon to follow.

Despite our son coming home, Suzanna has continued to encourage and support me in telling her everything. She has surely held nothing back herself including some intense thoughts and fantasies of her own, largely of her 'boyfriend' but she says that it's not his face that's in her fantasies!

She's kept it up where I am now starting to feel much more at ease with things. She was right, that in a way, I was holding back. She said that she knew how I felt and that she too felt strange and awkward when she realized she wanted to tell me how she felt when she was seeing Robert; not that she felt differently with him than the other guys but more of her own acceptance of her own desires. She encouraged me and told me that I needed to do the same, and accept my own desires, just as she had.

I have to say she really knows me and she was right; that she had crossed some of these same feelings herself. She told me that just as it's hard for me to accept that I truly have a desire for her to be with another man in as full a relationship as she may want, that it was hard for her to accept that herself when she came to the realization. I never really understood what she'd been trying to say or convey to me until she said that; just as she had to come to accept that she enjoys and wants to have a lover, that it's something I need to learn to accept in myself and that I want to happen for her.

It has been easier, all around since we started talking. I can't say that I'm really even telling her anything different than I already have, but I suppose it's in the way I'm saying it or, as I put it, with the sincerity I seem to have.

When we fucked on Friday night she encouraged me to open up and tell her the thoughts in my head that make me so horny. I told her the same as I think I always have, how turned on I get thinking of her feeling her lover's cock in her where mine is. She teased me that's all I'll get to feel at some time knowing it would spur me on to talk to her. I think I may have also been over-thinking things too because she's really emphasized that she's' just talking and teasing to me. Again she said that, "when it happens baby, we'll both be okay with it ..... " and she said that as she understands more of where my thoughts are, that she's sure that when it does, ".... it'll be something you'll want for me".


I guess you could call it visualization. I just think she's making me feel comfortable expressing myself and that this is her way of easing some of my concerns. Then there's the other thing that we've talked about, the future and that she wants me to be clear of what may happen.

The reality is that nothing is definite (she's even said that at times, maybe to reassure me or perhaps that's what's on her mind) but I do agree that when the time does come and she's really into her boyfriend and I see it and am not threatened by it or anything, that it might be something that I would actually want to have happen for myself.

It took me a second but in the same sense of talking and being more comfortable about it, I tried to not think about the stuff that normally is on my mind that seems to inhibit me. Instead, I looked at her, maybe a little awkward on my part at first, and I told her that she might be right.

She smiled at me talking with her like this and she pretty much asked me how I'd feel about things if she was seeing someone who she felt good about and with whom things were working out.

I knew what she was asking and I was honest with her and told her she was right, that if I saw her really enjoying herself with things in the future that, yes, it would probably be what I'd want; to move into a more of a true beta-role with her (not exactly what I said but the general gist).

She smiled and we talked a bit more and what came out was that I told her that I understood what she was saying and it actually felt good to relax about it and told her that she was right, that if things were just so, that it was really a turn-on seeing her relationship and desires blossom with her lover; that she's right, I probably would want to give her the next steps, using condoms with her or more.


I think I said and did a few things last night that may have finally persuaded her, and admitted to myself, that this is what I want but I have to add that she continued to play her part in turning me on and making me feel good about it all.


She's continued to talk more openly about her desire to have a boyfriend and last night she admitted that she felt she a growing 'need' to be with another guy. She wanted me to tell her how I felt about that and she asked me what I thought about her bedding Tony one more time.

It was before we got into our fun last night so I literally took a deep breath and told her the truth. I told her that I understood what she wanted and that I wanted it for her too. I told her that I too wanted her to find a new boyfriend and when we talked about Tony, she expressed a little concern about 'doing it too much' with him but at the same time admitted that she'd begun to fantasize about being with him again. I told her that it turned me on to think about it and that if it's what she wanted, that she should go for it. She worried about leading him on but I told her that this would be the first time with him in a few weeks if not months now and I joked that he'd probably love to have another shot at her! I guess it was how I was talking, again, more calmly and confidently, because she seemed to be content with what I was saying and didn't continue to push for more of what I felt and was thinking.

She lay next to me on the bed and started kissing me and such and I knew it was time again. Just like Pavlov's dog I reacted and my cock already started to rise. She reached into my boxers and giggled at how hard I was already. I wasn't sure about whether she'd slip her own panties off and I didn't push it, instead I told her how it turned me on that she was still wearing them and I told her that I was constantly thinking and fantasizing that she was doing so because she wanted only her lover to have her pussy.

She asked me if that turned me on to think about and very calmly I told her yes. She giggled and said, "do you want to feel his pussy?" The reference to 'his pussy' hit me like a bolt of lightning and I went from calm to excited and said, "yeah, sure" and she smiled and took my left hand and slid it beneath her panties. Her pussy felt so silky soft. She spread her legs a bit and didn't flinch or shy away as my fingers spread her pussy lips apart and I felt inside her pink wetness. Not being able to see it only made it more intense.

My right hand was a blur by now and Suzanna was giggling and asking me, "do you remember how I feel; do you feel how wet I am? .... this might be all you get to feel." I was wicked hard by then and she again encouraged me to tell her what I fantasize about that will get me to cum.

I lay back and I told her how I loved the thought of her being sexual with another guy; I told her everything that was in my head; I told her how it turned me on to think of her fucking another guy and to think of him filling her pussy; I told her how it turned me on to think about her excitement rising when she'd find a new lover and I came out and told her that I was incredibly turned on to think about when she'll come to me and tell me she wants to go bare with him.

I could see her excitement rising as I told her that I would want to start using condoms with her. She asked me what I meant by that and I told her that it turned me on to think of her getting to the point where she'd want more with her boyfriend and that I would want that for her.

Wow, did she smile at that and even more when I told her (while frantically stroking my cock) that I actually want the day to come when she'll tell me that; I told her that I understood what she was saying about me 'being ready' for it when that time came. However what really made her gently moan in response was when I told her I wanted to use condoms and that in some ways I was eagerly anticipating that day and wanting it to get here.

She responded to all this by sharing that she missed feeling another man fucking her and that she missed the excitement and thrill of having a lover. She made no bones about telling me that she loved the thought of her enjoying sex with him and was thrilled at the thought of feeling those same desires that I'd told her excited me. She said she loved hearing me tell her how much it excited me and that she loved hearing how supportive I will be.

I was getting closer and closer to exploding and I repeated in so many words that I loved thinking about the time when she'd come to me and tell me she's ready to just be with her lover and that she wanted me to use condoms again. I told her that I loved thinking about us making a bit of a ceremony about it and her playing it up. She moaned like crazy as I told her that and she could obviously see that the thoughts were really turning me on as I could feel pre-cum oozing out of my swollen cock.

She told me how sexy it was that I would feel this way and how wonderful it made her feel to know it turned me on to think of her being so into sex with her boyfriend and hearing me say, " ... and you starting to deny me more".

She really responded when I told her that it also turned me on to think about her getting more and more into her boyfriend and that I often thought about her only having sex with her boyfriend and how much it turned me on to think about. I told her again that her wearing panties really made me think about only her lover fucking her and how that sometimes I would masturbate thinking that her pussy is full of his cum and hidden beneath her panties.

It was when I told her that I loved the thought of her coming to me and telling me that she wants 'more' with her lover and to be exclusively with him sexually that I felt myself soooo close to cumming. Hearing her moan and tell me, "I love you baby, I love you so much" was the trigger, I just exploded all over my stomach and chest. As I let go I felt her firmly grasp my arm and I swear from the squeal she made that she had just come herself.

When I caught my breath I looked over at her I saw her smiling broadly. When she saw me looking at her she told me how beautiful it was to watch me cum and how much she appreciated me 'finally' opening up to her. She kissed me and again promised me that she loved me and that she'd never do anything to hurt me and then added that she loved that I would really be turned on by all of this. I knew right then that I think I'd finally reached her, and also that I'd maybe reached my own acceptance too. She started to play with my cum and told me how turned on and erotic it was that I'd cum from thinking about her and her boyfriend and that she loved that it made me feel so good to think about. As she brought her first finger-full of cum to my lips she smiled and giggled and said something like, "oh god, it turns me on that this will be what we'll share more of ". I knew what she meant by that....

So, have we finally taken the big step? I think maybe so....

This morning Suzanna kissed me deeply and said, "tomorrow night I'll take these off again baby" and I guess that may be my reward for my openness and her acceptance of my sincerity and honesty.


Other than the generic description of her hopeful next boyfriend (good looking and well-endowed), we haven't spoken much about specifics either in terms of looks, behaviour or attitude. I know she's that she's talked about someone perhaps a bit more assertive as she still feels she'd respond better to being treated that way but we haven't talked about specifics or any of my concerns. Still, I think she has enough wherewithal to be aware of herself and what is going on should things go in a direction she (or me) isn't comfortable with.

I have to say that it does feel better and definitely different to have things more clearly out in the open. I admit to feeling a little bit ashamed and embarrassed before we fell asleep but it was all in my head and this morning Suzanna behaved and treated me no differently so maybe it was just me over-thinking things again. After all, for as much as this seems to consume me at times, the reality is it is just sex we're talking about.

Thinking back to last night, I did tell her some of my most intense thoughts, things like how I love to see cum dribbling down her thigh but also how I have some of my most intense orgasms I've had while masturbating have been thinking of the 'ceremony' that I hope we can enjoy together.

I can't explain it but just thinking about it is something that just sets me off. Weird, I know but maybe I should just accept it and stop worrying. As long as I feel the connection I feel with Suzanna right now it must be right.


I don't know what thoughts to get out first, there are still so many after Friday night. It started when I got home from work and Suzanna was very friendly and very loving. I looked around the house and she smiled and said that our ******** had taken the car and was spending the night at a girlfriend’s house and that our son wasn't coming home until Saturday evening. There was something about her that just looked so sexy, she had on this short skirt and a snug fitting top that really made her look hot. Plus, I was quite horny and to be honest, I was hoping she'd keep her word and let me undress her fully.

We drank some wine before, during and after dinner and then went up to the bedroom. She was really playful and all but what really turned me on was when she got up from lying next to me and as she stood there she did this really sexy striptease and got down to just her bra and panties. I could see she was as horny as I was and I was really worked up from watching her performance. Then she leaned over and unclipped her bra and I just loved seeing her tits come out into view. I reached for them but she moved back and smiled at me before walking up closer to the edge of the bed and said, "you can take them off me".

I was almost shaking from being so horny. Her skin felt so warm as I slid her panties down. It felt like slow motion and I know my cock throbbed as she stepped slightly apart to let me pull them off. She'd trimmed her pubes way short on the sides but left a little more on top and all I could do was stare at how swollen her pussy lips looked and how they appeared to be even glistening. I pulled her down onto the bed next to me and lay against her as we started to kiss and when I reached down to feel her pussy, she moaned and gently spread her legs apart and let me feel just how wet she was. We kissed and I started to play with her pussy and she held my cock. I looked down and loved seeing her legs spread and when I moved up on my elbow, I loved seeing how wet and open she was. I so wanted to fuck her but at the same time, I loved the moment of finally seeing her again and seeing my fingers push in and out of her pussy while hearing her moan as we kissed. I was getting really hard and was ready to fuck her when she turned to me and said she wanted to ask me something. At that moment I was agreeable to anything and was loving finally seeing her naked body again that I was just enjoying the moment.

Then she said, or rather, asked me, if I'd like to maybe help her get ready for when she's going to meet Tony.

Wow! Granted we were both a bit buzzed and she had a giggle to her voice as she asked it, but she asked it and she could tell from how I was staring at her and had apparently stopped moving my fingers that I'd heard what she'd said.

She smiled and said something like, "come on baby, wouldn't you like to help me get ready to go out?"

I was still silent. It was partly surprise but, my god, it was a huge turn on as she said more, " ... you know, maybe you can help me pick out what to wear, that sort of thing?" with a little question in her voice. I know I'd hoped she'd start to tell me more in the future but this, this was a surprise and not something I'd expected to hear from her. Despite the surprise, my cock was rock hard at the thoughts her question put into my head.

I swallowed and focused. My first instinct was to shy away from answering her directly but in that instance I realised she was serious and I should answer her and so I did, I told her that idea made me horny to think about and that I would try to help her.

She giggled again and said stuff about how fun it'll be and asked whether the idea turned me on. I moaned back that I was a little surprised but she could tell my answer from how I guess I sounded as I answered her, horny. We kissed and this time when I put my fingers back in her, she was really wet and a minute later I remember hunching down between her spread legs and feeling her hands on my head guide me to just where she wanted me to lick her.

I was getting really frantic but at the same time, my god, she just tasted and felt soooo good that I really got into it. Her hands kept guiding me until she stopped and I knew that's when she was close. My brain was filled with so many thoughts from what she'd said and now, to be feeling and tasting just how aroused she was, it was so intense when she finally came with me licking and fingering her. I kept gently licking her until she literally pulled my head up and said it was my turn now. I wiped some spit on my hard cock and rubbed it up and down against her pussy lips but I couldn't wait much longer and instead, I started to push into her.

Seeing her finally naked beneath me made me so horny that I was soon really into fucking her. Her question to me had triggered all sorts of thoughts including her lying like this for Tony with his face and then HIS cock buried in her. I'll admit to looking and seeing her bra and panties lying on the floor next to the bed and that tweaked a thought in my head about me having maybe picked them out for his benefit.

I know I was getting really into it and there was no doubt that she came at least once more beneath me before I was ready to cum. Her gentle teasing about Tony really pushed me to the edge and I told her so.

I kept it up and was loving how she felt and I was marvelling at how her pussy felt as I slid in and out of her effortlessly and hearing the gentle moans from her. Eventually, no matter how much I tried to hold off, in the end she screamed out when I took my final plunge into her and I started to spew. She moaned at how warm she felt all over as I stayed buried deep in her pussy as we rocked back and forth a bit.

When we both caught our breath she rolled towards me and gently kissed me and asked me if I remembered what she'd asked me earlier.

I laughed at her and said something like "yeah, how could I forget, you asked if I'd help you get ready".

In a soft voice she asked "will you?".

When I said "...yes" she kissed me again and said that she loved me and again that I should feel like I can tell her anything and that she loved hearing my thoughts and such. It felt good to hear that. She smiled at me and said something about it being something fun for me to do with her. I told her that is what I was starting to get more used to, sharing with her and having fun.

I'd thought we might have a bit more fun last night but that wasn't to be when our son came home and quickly monopolized the rest of our evening.


My thoughts went back to last night and Suzanna, naked and wet asking 'will you get me dressed for Tony?' The whole impact of what she said at that moment was kind of muted to me not least because after the wine and with so much more filling my head of finally seeing her naked and being kind of taken with seeing her having trimmed her pubes too. I have to say that it was a fantasy thought that went through my head when she asked whether we'd do that for her lover and when she asked me about helping her get ready to see Tony or whoever, it didn't hit me fully at first. It's only now that the idea has fully hit me.


She's gone back to going pantie-less around me since Friday. Just this morning when she came out of the shower she stood in front of the mirror with just a towel around her head as she started to get ready for work. She looked up and smiled at me in the mirror when she saw me staring at her. There was no doubt that she knew how horny I was when she let me take them off her on Friday. Wow, I loved that moment.


After our son left to head back to school later last night Suzanna said she wanted to talk a little more. I was hoping for a quickie but also recognised that we were tired from the day having gone over her parent’s house for Easter and then gone and visited her sister (and our nephew Bill was there again too).

She asked me what I thought about her idea from Friday night and how I felt about it. It was surprisingly easy to talk about. Maybe it's in my head, or maybe it's in her voice, but she sounded comforting and concerned in a good way about how I felt about the idea.

I told her (again) that I liked the idea but added that I'd hoped that this next time she'd feel more comfortable sharing more details with me and letting me be more involved. She knew what I was saying and as we talked she admitted that the time with Robert and I being separate did make her feel awkward in that aspect, that without my actually knowing or meeting him, that she felt a bit inhibited telling me about their time together. She admitted that she'd like to make that something we do more of. It was the way she said it though, "oh baby, I'm sorry, you really should be more involved" with this concerned sincerity that, I think made it easier for me to talk to her as we were lying in bed about 10pm last night.

I told her that I'd love to be more involved with anything she was doing and I reminded her that we'd done some of this before. She smiled and said she did remember but wanted to be sure that this was something that I'd enjoy doing with her now and how I'd feel about it as time progressed with her boyfriend. I looked at her and I told her that I thought it'd be exciting to do it and that it'd be fun as something that we could do together.

Like I said, it was very easy talking to her and her answering was just as easy. She shared that with what I'd been telling her more recently, that she was thinking this might be something fun for me and she said teasingly that it'd only add to the fun when she'd tell me what they'd done together. She teased me a bit more and said, "it'll probably get you horny all day thinking about it" and added that it'd be fun for when it's my turn to undress her! When I agreed with her she pulled me towards her and told me yet again that she loved me and that she wanted to be able to share all of this with me and to know that it's really what I want.

We talked a bit more and she again told me how great it was making her feel about everything that she felt that I was really okay with everything and that she loved that I could talk to her without feeling the awkwardness she used to feel from me. I told her it turned me on to think of her and her future boyfriend and that I too liked the feeling of openness and honesty I felt from her; I told her it gave me a good feeling and that it made me trust her more.

She rolled towards me and we kissed and I ran my hands up and down her body. When I didn't feel any panties beneath her long-t-shirt I started to pull it up and she looked at me and said, "want a quickie?” When I nodded yes she moaned and kissed me deeply as she pushed the covers off of us and in one motion, my boxers came off and her night-shirt was pushed up. An instant later I was buried in her to the hilt and it was obvious she was horny too. Neither of us lasted long but it was intense for both, I felt her shudder and cum beneath me just moments before I plunged into her and came myself. As I blasted into her I looked down at her and as she felt me cumming in her, her eyes fluttered back in her head and she moaned as she slipped into her own second orgasm that quickly swept over her body.

As we both caught our breath, I didn't say it but I should have told her that again I had the overwhelming desire to see her enjoy that second-orgasm wash over her with her lover. We lay there together kissing and holding each other. When I slipped out of her she reached for a tissue to clean up a little bit and as she did so, the turned to me and said that she thought maybe this Thursday after work that she'd 'seduce Tony again'. It was my turn to laugh at her and I told her that I doubted it'd be much effort.

She giggled and then looked at me with a slightly more serious look said, "so Thursday morning you'll help me?”

I don't know if she did it on purpose or if she even realized it, but it was very arousing hearing her ask me about my part in her seducing Tony as she blotted and wiped at my cum leaking out of her pussy.


I've been thinking further on what we've been talking about, picking stuff out for her to wear for her lovers. I'm not totally sure if it's something she wanted me to be involved with or not. However, now after talking about it, it seems almost obvious that this could and should be something we do more of together. Maybe my confusion stems from me being reluctant to be so up front about it but I also wonder if maybe she didn't do it because maybe she wasn't sure of how I'd respond or that sort of thing. Looking back, I guess I may have been a bit wavy on my responses, being so encouraging and permissive at some points and at others, sticking to my image as opposed to maybe accepting what I'd been unable to or unwilling to.

I admit that I've even wondered what may have happened had we been where we are now when she met Dan. The thought is both frightening as it is arousing and I wonder if she would have given into his desires. I wonder if he would have treated her like the other women he'd dated where he'd eventually tire of them and just walk away.

As always, the thing I feel even more strongly about now than ever is that I really want this to be what she wants; when she wants; who she wants and how she wants it. I think she may have been reluctant herself when it came to her relationship with Robert and may have been similar to me, by not having accepted things.


Perhaps me going with shopping with her is something we'll work our way up to but in the meantime she has hinted at getting me 'involved' in other ways.

It's Friday tomorrow and she is planning on seeing Tony after work. She told me last night she hinted around at whether he'll be going out after work and then she said something like, "maybe you'll give me a ride like last time?". It took me a second to realize what she'd meant... She is becoming quite the confident tease.


She wanted to watch me last night. She admitted that she often rubs her legs such that she orgasms while watching me. It was my turn to laugh at her and I told her that I'd known that for a long time and I told her it was one of the reasons I loved doing it for her, because I knew we were sharing all that we were talking about. She loved that I had noticed and that it meant as much as it did to me to share with her and she said that if it turned me on that she'd let me watch her a bit more. So last night was a bit of a change in that she didn't hide what she was doing at all. We lay there and talked and I stroked myself while she lay next to me with her legs spread so I could watch her fingers looking so beautiful as they touched every part of her!

We both got naked when we finally were ready to get in bed and she looked beautiful, her breasts looked very full and her nipples were quite puffy and darkened red. As I lay down next to her I could see her pussy was already equally swollen and full looking and that her labia were also a darker red than usual, they seemed to almost glisten where they met. As she moved her legs when I climbed onto the bed, the lower part of them separated revealing the bright pink of her pussy. Even after 30 years of climbing into bed with the same woman, it never fails to excite me to be able to actually see her arousal.

I was hard already and she took my cock in her hand as we kissed and she said she loved sharing this with me. I helped her to stroke my cock slowly and I felt her move and I knew she'd started to caress herself too. She told me that sex over the weekend with me was really great and that I'd made her feel awesome. I told her that I loved doing it to her. We talked pretty openly and she told me she loved feeling my hard cock in her and I told her that I loved how she felt.

A moment later she rolled over onto one side and looked at me and said, "do you still feel it?" I told her that I didn't know what she meant and she asked, "you know, when you cum in me and you feel me really let go ..... do you still feel it .... that you want me to have that with my lover?".

Wow, did that surprise me that she came out and just said it like that. I grunted at first but then I looked at her and there was this look of sincerity in her eyes that just totally calmed me. I took a deep breath and just said, "yes".

She smiled and asked me to tell her what I felt.

I told her the truth that, of course, I totally loved the feeling of total bliss at the end when I let go in her and feel her respond as she cums herself. Then I was honest with her and told her that every time we have sex and I reach that moment, that one of the most intense thoughts that drives me to orgasm at that moment is the very thought of another guy's cock being in her instead of mine at that moment and that it's him she cums with.

I managed to look at her just after I said it and her eyes fluttered with this almost curious look to them and then she just said, "I like that you can tell me that ... " and a second later said, " ... I love you that you can share that thought with me ..... it's okay .... actually it's beautiful" and she pulled my arm closer to her and I when I looked closely at her face I thought maybe there was a tear in her eyes ... but not sure.

Our conversations were fairly animated after that. She told me how she loved feeling like she belonged to her lover and how it really made her horny to think about. I could see her fingers were buried in her pussy and I knew what she was thinking. I told her that it turned me on to think about it too and I said it out loud, "I love to think that you'll just have 'his' cum in you." That brought about a moan from her.

A moment later she turned the tables on me and she got up on her elbows and told me how horny it made her to see my hard cock like that and then with an evil giggle she said, "it turns me on that after 30 years it won't be your cock any more".

I knew what she meant and, wow, did that get to me. She leaned over to me and said that it turned her on to think that after 30 years of having my cock give her such pleasure that it would be her lover's cock in the future. I almost screamed as she said that and I swear it felt like I was going to almost rip my cock off when a moment later she kissed my ear and whispered, "let me see you cum baby."

Again as I struggled to hold back at the last minute until I couldn't any longer, I could definitely feel her own hands and out of the corner of my eye I knew that as she lay on her side watching me, that one of her knees was up in the air and I could just tell she was madly fingering herself. As I started to cum I could feel her shudder and her moan sexily in my ear.

Geez, there was a lot of cum all over me! She eased up on her elbow and said how sexy it was to watch me and cooed, "... knowing what you were thinking about.... you must have needed that baby..." and then as she pushed it all into one big puddle she moaned, "... that turned you on a lot ..... mmmm ..... sooooo sexy......".

As she brought her first fingerful of cum up to my lips she leaned in and we both licked her fingers clean and then kissed.

We only talked briefly this morning but with this doe-eyed smile on her face she said to me, ".... tomorrow baby, you can help me pick out some clothes, right?"


This morning Suzanna came out of the shower naked with just the usual towel around her head and she stood there and said, "so, are you ready to help me pick?" and she opened her underwear drawer and motioned for me to help root around and choose something.

She said the weather is nice so she's looking to wear a skirt and she went to the closet and picked a medium blue loose, flowing one that went to just below her knees. Seeing the colour I picked up a pair of blue lace-front panties and she smiled and held them against her waist and turned to me and spun around a bit and said, "you like the lacy front, just like I do...” She stood there and pulled them up and I loved how I could just see the dark colour of her trimmed pubes through the lace but what I also liked was that you could see that her pussy was mostly bare on the sides and towards the bottom.

She turned to look in the mirror and she smiled and then said, "I can wear a garter belt with this skirt if you think that's sexy". She must have seen the lump in my boxers grow as she said that.

I was about to ask if she'd rather have stay-up thigh-hi's but she gave me a smile that answered and said, "I think I look sexy unclipping the garter straps, don't you?"

All I could do was groan in response and pick out a garter belt that was mostly blue with some white and other colours. She picked out the stockings that would go with it and she sat on the bed and started to put them on. She looked so sexy pulling the belt up and straightening out the straps and then sexily rolling each stocking up her leg and then clipping them in place. She stood and adjusted each strap so it held tautly. Holy crap, I felt like throwing her onto her back on the bed right then and there.

She reached in and played with her pussy for a second before smoothing the panties into place between her legs she turned to me and smiled again and said, "yes, it's wet already if you want to know". It was such a surreal moment; we hadn't talked about Tony or anything, it was totally unsaid and totally understood that it was me picking things out that Tony would later be helping her to remove.

She opened her bra drawer and asked me if I had an opinion. A part of me wanted to pick out the black shelf-bra with the pretty much half-open cups but there's no way she'd wear that to work (although she wouldn't hesitate to wear it to see Tony) so instead I picked out a bra that almost matched the panties. It had a solid cup beneath her breasts but from just above her nipples it was all lace.

She smiled and said, "Good choice, I was hoping you would pick that one out."

As she put it on she turned to me and said, "how do I look for Tony later, do you think he'll like it?" Just like that as if it were nothing. I swallowed but surprisingly, it wasn't hard to answer her, I told her she looked beautiful and that I envied Tony for having her later.

She giggled and said, "you'll have your turn to undress me tonight when I get home, promise....” As she stood and walked to the closet to pick out a top to wear she stopped in front of me and reached down and cupped my now very full and very hard cock and smiled and said, "save some of this for me tonight" and then gave my cock a gentle squeeze.

I'd love to sit here and jerk-off to relieve the horniness I've been left with but, at the same time, I sooo want to be ready for her later tonight when she gets home.

(Have to add that we now have one huge advantage to our ******** having her license and having a boyfriend who drives, she's literally never home these days!)


She texted me that it's a beautiful afternoon and she and Tony are planning to cut out of work a little earlier than usual. Needless to say that totally blew whatever concentration on work I was capable of so I cut the day short and am now back home where I've gotten into a pair of sweatpants so my cock can grow unencumbered while I try to finish out the day.


Which coincides with me finishing this book. Time for another.