Journal of a Journey - Book 63

It's been an awesome weekend.

Last night was quite fun with the house to ourselves and a bottle of champagne. Tonight, she's out with her mom and sister right now but she'll be home soon and once again we'll have the house to ourselves. She's promised to wear something very sexy watching the game with me tonight.

The fun continued when at half-time Suzanna made me an offer I couldn't refuse. With the house to ourselves we adjourned from the TV and made our own half-time fun. She still hasn't relented on the panties but that didn't matter as the ones she flashed me last night were very satiny and I could most definitely make out the appearance of her pussy beneath them.

Still, she wanted the lights out and the blankets up before she slid them off. Then she sucked me like a vacuum cleaner until I was clutching at her head and almost fucking her mouth. When she had me fully hard she sucked her mouth off my cock and once again climbed up and straddled me. She rubbed herself for a moment but before taking me in her she reached for some lubricant and then, oh my god, she climbed back on and rubbed the slick head of my cock between her swollen pussy lips. When she found the mark and lined me up with the opening to her vagina she leaned forward and put her hands on my chest and in one motion she plunged herself down fully onto my hard cock.

She let out a moan like a wounded animal but she kept me fully inside her as she ground herself around on and against me. A moment later I felt her body shudder and she held herself up, barely, on her arms as she came violently on top of me. As I felt her start I reached around and grabbed her butt cheeks in my hands and pulled her apart and downward even more. She tried to say something but it came out as a moan as she lay against me and I started to fuck upwards into her. I playfully spanked her, one cheek than the other, and she came and came and came against me until she finally just lay still and let me thrust upwards into her with almost no response. She was like a rag doll when I turned her onto her back and spread her legs again.

I was too horny to really spend time looking and it was only later on did I realize that I could have seen her pussy. Instead, under the covers and in the dim light I put my fingers into her and felt that she was gaping open. I was so horny by then that I reached for a little more lubricant and then I plunged into her. That tightness that I've often spoke about was totally absent, once I moved her hips back she was totally open for me and I was loving it.

The thought of other guys with her is always in my mind and I confess that at that moment, thoughts of her feeling just like this under Robert's cock did go through my mind but that was just one of the many thoughts that contributed to just how huge my cock felt in her.

She lay back and pulled her knees back for me and said, "enjoy yourself" and so I did. I don't know for how long I enjoyed feeling the length of her pussy swallow my cock, I felt her open wide as I pushed myself fully into her, only to feel her pussy lips sucking at the length of my cock as I pulled it back out.

She always knows when I'm going to cum and last night was no different. Despite her earlier pleasures, when she felt my time approaching she was right there again. I don't know what she did or if it's even something she can control but however she moved, her pussy opened up all the way and became this slick velvety glove. I could feel her tighten at times and then loosen the next. At the end, she was right there, and as I started to cum she let out a shriek and again, I felt her body spasm beneath me with what I can only describe as a massive orgasm that over took the first one that started when I began to cum in her.

I collapsed against her and we both sort of laughed for a moment at how intense that was for both of us. With the lights still out she slipped out of bed and got us a washcloth to clean up with.

I will also say that as I lay in bed later last night and even now, it turns me on to think that she shared that type of orgasm with Robert so much last year and that she will want to feel that again in the future.


I am feeling it’s natural to let her take more control and as I am becoming more at home with it, I think it's incredible. I love Suzanna so much that it's just amazing and I'll even say, rewarding, to see her let herself do it. I am on pins-and-needles thinking about her intentionally wearing panties now for so long. I know that it's something she's doing because it turns me on, but she's also admitted that it turns her on and makes her feel very aware of her desires.

I know it's crazy to say it but I do enjoy it when she denies me. Something she said could be something I'd like to see her feel, that at some point I think it'd be so hot to hear her tell me how she doesn't want to have sex with me because it'd feel like she's cheating on her lover. In some ways I felt some of this when she was with Robert, I guess I miss it.

I think Suzanna knows and understands my desires pretty well, at least she seems to. Not sure what more I could tell her since so much of it would depend on who she finds next, etc. I still never lose my arousal at her with another guy even while we're apparently on a bit of a hiatus.


Last night followed the pattern of so many of our Wednesday nights together but not quite as surprising as last week though.

With the snow yesterday and both of us home, she was mellow by the time we headed to bed but not so mellow that she didn't come up to me earlier and kiss my neck and whisper in my ear that she hoped I was horny later on. She flaunted that she still had her panties on when she came into bed - stood next to me and pulled up her night shirt and showed me - and said, "these are staying on tonight". I was hard already even before she said that and I knew what she wanted.

She lay next to me and encouraged me to slip my boxers off and lie next to her naked. She cooed in my ear how hot and how hard my cock looked and she proceeded to tell me (again) how she loves to watch me jerk off. She said that she loves seeing me (actually she said 'guys') cum and that it turns her on to, "...see what would be in me..." Later she said how horny it made her to know that I was going to make myself cum for her.

I was into it and through her night-shirt she was rubbing her breasts against my shoulder. She leaned in and started to ask me what she could do that would turn me on. I moaned back that I wanted her to find another guy to replace Robert. She gave me this happy moan in response and then giggled and said, ".... yeah, I know you miss that too".

I nodded and that I missed that feeling of knowing she'd been with another guy.

She giggled again and said, "well, then you'll be happy with me when I come home on Friday after going out for a while". She didn't need to say it explicitly but a second later I realized what she was saying and I moaned back that, "oh man, that means you're going to have some fun with Tony?”

She slid up against my side and whispered in my ear, "he told me he'll be horny for me". Then she moved back and continued talking and teasing, "you know, after tomorrow, he'll have seen me naked more than you this past month".

Oh man, did that get me hard. I was set to continue stroking away and get myself off when she continued talking to me, "Is there anything else that you'd want?".

I moaned back something like, "I just want you to be horny".

She was quiet for a few moments as she watched me and then she asked me, "do you ever think about other things?"

I moaned back, "what do you mean?" and she said that she wanted to know if I ever thought about chastity stuff? I asked her again mid-moan what she meant and she asked me if I'd ever thought about that sort of stuff. I answered her no but then still had the focus to ask her, "why, do you?" but she said that it was just something she'd seen online and that was all.

She leaned in, kissed my face and said matter-of-factly, "I know what you do think about though".

I said, "what's that?" and she giggled and pulled up her shirt and in an instant she pulled the waistband of her panties out and for an instant I could see some pinkness below, then she let it go and it snapped back against her waist and giggled, "you think about what's in here" and she patted her pussy through her panties.

I moaned back something like 'oh yeah' and she then almost whispered in my ear, "well, Tony will get to have it first" and that got me really going and then she continued, "you can have me when I get home afterwards." She must have seen my hand moving faster and she added, "... but you still have to wait till next week to see me again".

Hearing that gave me a million other thoughts in my head too and a few moments later she could tell I was going to cum. She rubbed her breasts again against my arm and said, "come on baby, let me see you cum" and that was it, a second later I moaned out loud and let the pleasure overtake me. I heard her low moaning next to me as she watched me until I was finally spent. She let out a loud sexy moan and then turned my face to her and kissed me.

While I lay there and caught my breath I knew what she'd be doing and, sure enough, she did. I felt her scooping up my cum onto her fingers and she then brought them to my mouth to lick off. No sooner had I licked andsucked her fingers clean did she lean in and kiss me deeply and I could feel and hear her moan as our tongues played together and shared my cum. She did the same after the next 3 fingerfuls.

As I lay there and she knelt next to me she gently held my cock and looked at me and said that she'd read online how a lot of 'cucks' (she used that word which surprised me) are into using chastity devices and again, with the sexual fun now over for a bit, she wanted an answer from me.

I told her that I never was aroused by any of that stuff and that it wasn't something I was really interested in.

She said that she thought, from what she'd read, that maybe it would make it even more exciting for me.

I looked at her and said, "why would that make it more exciting for me?" and I told her that my excitement was in thinking about what she was doing and hoping she'd share some of that with me, "... why it would excite me to be caged up?

I looked at her and asked, "is that something that would turn you on?"

She looked at me and said, "not if it's not something that you wanted, no.”

I guess she must have read something online when she was home yesterday that brought that up but we didn't talk about it much more other than her saying that she didn't think it was something that I was interested in. I was still curious why she mentioned it though but said nothing more other than I guessed that some guys would maybe be into that sort of thing but that I found nothing arousing in it.

What we did talk about was her looking for another guy. She openly admitted (giggled) that she was 'getting the itch' and I joked with her that she was looking for Tony to scratch it! That earned me a punch in the arm followed by her laughing out loud.

She shared that she was also having fun teasing Tony a bit. As we talked she dropped the sexy voice for a moment and asked me in a serious voice, "you are okay with me having fun with Tony, aren't you?". I told her that I was and that I thought it was kind of exciting that she was 'putting out' for a co-worker. She again told me that Tony was really being great about it and that he was making it very easy as he has continually said to her that he's not assuming anything and is just happy when they get together. I said, "so, he's not 'expecting anything' from you?" and she said, "no, but both of us know it's just something fun".

That led us a little into talking about the future. She again looked at me and said, "you know what I want to feel, right?” I held her hand and I told her that I knew that she wanted to find her own Mr. Right and that as long as we talked and kept it all out in the open, that I wanted her to let herself go if she wanted.

She hugged me and kissed me and said, "you know, it might be more than when I was with Robert?” I looked at her and said that I remembered what she'd said long ago about how she felt and what she wanted. It looked like she wanted to say something more but before she did I kissed her and said, "I know it'll mean you may want to be with him more" and a second later I added, "I'm sure it'll be okay". I think she still wanted to say more but she decided to just let it go.

We watched a bit more TV and she leaned over and reached under the covers and stroked my cock and when she felt my cock growing in her hand she asked me sexily, "do you want to go again". I told her I could go either way and she smiled and said, "I'd love to watch you again if you wanted" and when I nodded yes, her smile grew wide. She snuggled up next to me and said that she loved me and that she was so horny about all of what we were doing. I was hard already when she slid the covers back and she slid off my boxers when I lifted off the bed.

She pretty much laid her head on my chest and just watched as I stroked. She started to tell me how horny she was to 'have another guy again' and she said, "... not just Tony ... you know what I mean.....”

I told her that I knew she wanted it and then I even said that I thought she might actually 'need' it. She giggled and said again how she missed feeling that excitement. She teased me a bit but this second time I admit it was more in my head and she seemed content to just watch me. My usual thoughts propelled me to finally cum again a few minutes later. I heard her moaning when she saw me cum again even though it was far less than the first time, it still felt awesome and I loved sharing the moment with her.


Will my denial desires really seem to be about her excluding me from different types of sex with her and her getting it elsewhere? I've thought about what it'd be like to be caged up or whatever and it just doesn't do anything for me. I actually prefer the thought of what she's doing and to decide for myself whether I want to masturbate to relieve my anxiety and desires or whether I want to wait for her to return to me.

I loved what we were doing towards the end of her time with Robert. It's crazy for me to say it, but her wanting me to use condoms with her is something that just totally turned me on and seemed to really, strangely, seemed to satisfy so much of my desires. Dare I say that I was content?

I recognize what she'd like for the future and I'm prepared to expect her to deny me fully at some point if she find the guy she'd like to have her 'affair' with. That's what I believe she understood from last night. I don't want it to be forever obviously, but perhaps similar to what she asked for with the condoms.

If I can read her mind, she'd like this affair-thing to be short-lived but very-intense. I am excited just thinking about her feeling these kinds of desires. So, if for a period of a few weeks or perhaps maybe a few months, she wanted to only be with her lover, then I would feel good about giving her that freedom. Of course I am aware (we both are) of the danger that represents, that it can be a slippery slope she finds herself on but, again, if we talk openly and communicate along the way it should be something that can stay contained.


I know that at first she thought Robert and her might have been more than it turned out to be, and that despite their intensity towards the end I know she still didn't feel or get the emotional validation that I think she's looking to feel.

In a way, I actually understand her. I know she feels like she's getting older and that she'd like to feel that sort of lusty desire, if anything just to make her feel like she is still beautiful and can attract guys. From how she's said what she's looking for, it's that sort of intensity of the newness and excitement of a new guy, but it's more, I know she'd like to let herself go beyond that and feel pulled to him. It does scare me to think about it at times, but other times, like last night, it does nothing but excite me.


I got stuck at work late last night and I texted her about 4:00pm that I was heading into a meeting about a problem that we had to resolve. She texted back that was good because she was going to go out for drinks with everyone after work and had wanted to tell me that she'd be home later. I knew that meant Tony was going to be out to drinks too.

I got home about 8pm and she wasn't home yet and again when I realized the house was empty, my thoughts went to her probably in the back of Tony's SUV and how the windows were probably steamed up.

I had the hugest hard-on at that thought that I actually had to slip into a pair of sweatpants to make room for my cock. Sure, I had a thought to jerk-off, but the other 99.99% of my brain said to enjoy the arousal as she'd be home soon enough. I have to say that walking around my house for another 30-45 minutes with my brain and cock continually reminding me of where she was, that's all the stimulation and arousal I needed. I have no issues with self-restraint.


It was just a little before 9pm I saw the headlights in the driveway and a few moments later she was walking through the door. I always love how I can just look at her now and tell that she's been fucking and there was no doubt. She met me with a kiss and while she didn't taste like cum, she smelled like sex and I imagined she was sucking Tony for a while before they fucked. (For a moment I wondered how Tony's wife would receive him with his face smelling like Suzanna's horny pussy!). I asked her if she'd enjoyed herself and she smiled and giggled and said, "very much so". She looked around as if to confirm no one else was home and then she kissed me again and said I should follow her upstairs to our bedroom and bring up a bottle of water with me.

When I got to the bedroom she was standing there in just her panties with the lights dimmed. She pulled me to her and then down onto the bed. She lay on her back and we kissed and I caressed her breasts, but when I reached downward towards her panties, she held my hand and said, "not yet baby, pull the blankets over us". I swear I think my cock grew several inches as she said that!

I groaned and she reached out and felt my hard cock and she giggled and said, "just think, next week you can have your Valentine's present".

I feverishly pulled the covers up to her stomach and when I went back to her panties, she now willingly lifted her butt and I slid them off her but when I went to go under the covers to have some fun she stopped me and told me to get undressed and we could '69' for a little while. I don't think clothes have ever flown off faster.

While I stood there she said, "turn off the candles first". It took a second to get used to the darkness as I got back onto the bed. We kissed and soon moved into a 69 with my head under the covers as she lay beneath me. The smell of sex was thick and heavy and even in the dark, I knew just where I wanted to be. She guided my cock into her mouth and put her hand on the shaft to control how much she wanted but, to be honest, she didn't need to do a thing because as my fingers felt around and held her legs apart, I leaned down to kiss and start to lick her and it seemed that everywhere tasted like cum. Her clit had that tangy taste and as I followed her creases downward, the taste and then the wetness just increased.

She was moaning and had pretty much stopped sucking me as she enjoyed what I was doing. Her pussy lips felt like they were swollen and at that moment I really wished I could look at her. I reached around under her legs and sort of pulled her open as I continued licking downward. When I finally reached the entrance to her vagina it was open and waiting.

I do wish I could have seen her because in the darkness, damn, it felt like Tony had put a pint of cum in her; the more I licked the more that it seemed to flow. My fingertips were feeling the wetness from where I was holding her legs and pussy apart and as I stabbed my tongue into her she moaned and shook a little which brought forth another trickle of pungent wetness.

The next few moments are kind of a blur, tasting her and feeling her combined with her again starting to suck my cock, the next thing I knew I was kneeling between her spread legs with her knees back. The sheet was the only thing that still covered us and she moaned loudly as I pushed into her. I could hear her clearly through the sheet and she moaned at how horny Tony was and how he'd cum twice in her. That almost put me over the edge and she really squealed at how hard I started to fuck her as she talked more. She looked up at me and again teased me that, "Tony liked how I looked..... you'll get to see next week......" and she told me how she'd pushed her skirt up around her waist in his back-seat and how he'd taken her panties off her. She seemed to like to draw out that part, as if to tease me more that I haven't had that pleasure in a long time, to undress her like that.

She felt, what can I say, fucking amazing!! I so so so miss her having sex with someone else, there's just something so sexy and so incredibly almost welcoming feeling her so wet and open.

"He's good, huh?" I asked her because it was obvious she'd cum a lot earlier from how relaxed and open her pussy felt.

She moaned back, "yeah" and then said something about him having this upward curve to his cock that she said turned her on to feel inside her. A second later she told me that she's so comfortable with him that, "I cum really easily with him". She knew just what to say and when to say it.

I pushed back into her again she moaned, "he loves how I feel".

That thought started the end for me, my brain just went off on its own and I had visions of her under him and what she'd look like if I peered through the window. I saw her bare leg wrapped around him and I could see his body moving up and down above her. As he'd thrust into her I'd see her legs straighten at times and her toes curl.

(Is it weird that it's those little details that drive me the craziest to think about?)

Yeah, his huge cock plunging into her is intense, but it's the little details that add so much, the fluttering of her eyes; her skin getting flushed; her nipples hardening; toes curling.

She was still talking but I couldn't really hear it and it didn't matter. A second or so later her eyes widened and looked up at me as she knew I was about to cum. 30 years of fucking and she can tell just when I'm about to cum and, sure enough, I felt her legs wrap around mine and that was it, all of a sudden it was me deep in her and not the vision in my mind and second later I let go in her. It felt like a fire-hose and she squealed as she could feel each pulse of my cock as I reconnected with her.

We lay together for a few more minutes until I began to shrink and slip out of her. She giggled as I did and she said, "oh wow, it's wet". It was just the right moment because with a smile on my face, I pulled off of her and then ducked beneath the covers to, once again, clean her up.

She willingly, pulled her knees back and giggled as she said, "go ahead, it's your mess, you can clean it up".

I so wished it was light under the covers but instead I was guided by instinct and the aroma. There was no resistance at all from her and little need for any foreplay, I just felt my way down to her pussy and began to suck and lick at her. I could immediately tell the semen that was dripping out of her this time was mine but that didn't matter to me, I loved the closeness and intimacy of licking all of her nooks and crannies clean. Hearing her sweet moans as I did so was all I needed to hear. She didn't' think she'd cum again but as I paid a little more attention to her little button her moaning increased and sure enough, a few moments later her hand held the back of my head in place as she squealed through one last orgasm for the night.

When I was done and 'came up for air' she pulled the sheet back up over us and again said, "next Friday night we'll have a lot more fun baby".

As I lay next to her I felt her moving around under the sheet and blanket and then realized, she was pulling back on her panties. Even though I'd just fucked her, I have to say that knowing what she was doing got my cock to start throbbing again!


Things are very good between us right now and yes, it is nice enjoying our (relatively) monogamous time together. As I said, I think it's a good thing in that it's reminding her very much of all that we share together including how good the sex can be.

Last night brought something very new from Suzanna!

I had thought we were going to follow our normal routine (and I was surely horny enough) but when we adjourned to the bedroom for what I thought would be 'the normal' she surprised me. She kissed me and said that she wanted to have some fun. She knelt next to me in just her panties and teased me that I have 2 more days till I get to take them off of her. Thing was, she didn't put my hand on my cock once she got me really hard. Instead she giggled and said, "let me do it for you tonight". Now, it's been years or more since she gave me a true hand-job but when she reached into the nightstand and brought out the lubricant I realized that's what she wanted to do.

It felt so weird to let her do it, normally she'd suck me a bit and wind up finishing me orally, but this time she seemed content to just stroke me. I lay there and let her start and as she got me really hard, she started to tease me, telling me how fun it was with Tony and emphasizing how, "he was the last one to see my pussy!". I groaned back as she kept going, she could obviously tell how it was turning me on as she would moan at times and look at me and say, "my god you are so big and hard!” but what really got me going was that she started to tell me more of what she and Tony did together. I was so turned on when she told me how horny she was letting Tony undress her and just how she said that she 'wanted to be naked for him. and how horny she felt.

She told me that the excitement she felt with Tony, how erotic she felt spreading her legs and letting him see all of her and how she felt as he looked so stiff as he looked at her; that she missed feeling that with another guy. She teased me, "awww, does that turn you on baby?" as she must have felt my cock throb in her hands. Her hands felt incredible as she stroked my greased cock, fast then slow and, oh god, how she moaned when she saw and felt that pre-cum was oozing out of me.

I think even the crotch of her panties were wet. She knew I was close and that was when she told me how she'd cum when she felt Tony cum in her. Wow, did that push me to the edge.

I know she felt my body start to tense up. She reached under and cupped my balls as she stroked me with the other hand and when she told me how she could feel how hot his cum was when he came in her the second time, holy crap , I let out a grunt and man, did I cum?

She let out a squeal when she felt me start to cum but then as she literally milked my cock, she had the most incredibly sexy moan and I'd swear she was grinding her foot or something against her pussy because it really sounded like she'd cum herself.

I was totally exhausted by the time she finished her last gentle stroke and she even remembered what I'd shown her long ago, to run her thumb up from way down low to draw out the last drops of cum before my now soft and shrunken cock lay against my body. She looked up at me and there was no doubt in my mind from seeing the dreamy look in her eyes that she'd cum herself watching me.

She leaned down and told me how sexy and how horny that made her. I kissed her and giggled back, "well, one thing, there'll be no seconds from me tonight" and she coooed back at loving how much she'd made me cum. When I glanced down I was surprised as my stomach was covered with at least 7 or 8 thick spurts of cum.

I can't wait till tomorrow....

I know that she knows that I enjoy using lubricant when I have some alone-fun but this was the first time she's brought it out on a Wednesday much less her doing it all. I am assuming that she's getting ideas from somewhere, I know of many Penthouse Letters stories that could have spurred her interest, but whatever, I'm not going to really question it.

If I knew what I wanted, I think I could be more clear with her and share it with her but I already have and I know that so far, she finds them arousing. I have told her many times that it thrills me that she would experience the kind of orgasms and pleasure with other guys that she enjoys with me. I don't believe there is any doubt that she understands the kind of arousal I get from her denial of me.


With the snow today, she's home working upstairs while I am in our basement. She's very excited about going away later tonight. We're already pretty much packed and the car is ready; our driveway and street is clear, so we're good to go. I'm hoping that tomorrow and while we're away that we'll maybe talk about things too.


The skiing was awesome on Friday and Saturday but yesterday it was more crowded as the Holiday weekend was in full-swing by then. Still, great time away and nice to come back and still have a few days at home.

Suzanna did admit that she's both been checking out different sites on the web and she also admitted that she's enjoying emailing with a guy, I guess it must be a chatroom.

She also said she had seen stuff about chastity and that was why she asked me as I guess the site seemed to be playing that up. She admitted to me that she found chastity and male-male sex a bit of a turn-off and that seems to have given her a bit of a negative spin on the website itself but she admitted that the chatroom is a lot of fun there and she thanked me for pointing her in that direction.

She did drive me crazy waiting for my Valentine's present! Thursday night when we got into the condo we rented I thought maybe I'd get my present then but no. She did come out of the bathroom with a very tight camisole on that clearly pointed out her hard nipples and she wore a very lacy pair of panties and I could see just about all of her pussy through the front but that is all she'd let me have until Friday night. She dimmed the lights and made sure we were both under the covers before she pulled off her panties and she admonished me for trying to get a peek!

As I mentioned, I knew skiing was going to make her horny, the fresh air all day long, the exercise, a beer after the day was over and she was warm all over by the time we got back to our place. I was eager to strip her naked and feast on her pussy but she pushed me off and said, "not yet". She went into the bedroom and came out again with the skimpy tight camisole on and this time with a new pair of thong panties! The lower part of her pussy lips was visible where the material went down to just the 'string' up the back but the upper part of her pussy and her clit were still hidden.

She lay on the bed before me and we shared another drink together before we started kissing and getting into it. At one point she teased that, "maybe you should wait till after dinner?" which brought out a loud groan from me in response. She giggled and said after a few minutes, "okay, you've waited long enough".

I seized my cue and slid down the bed until my face was right against her still covered pussy. Is it crazy to say that I think I was nervous as I reached out and put my fingers under the waistband?

She lifted her butt and giggled as I pulled them off of her and then put her hand over her pussy and said, "not yet" making me almost seethe as she pushed me to the very edge. She looked up at me and said, "promise me we'll talk later?" I nodded eagerly and she smiled the biggest smile I've seen on her and she pulled her hand away and raised her knees and separated her legs.

My cock was throbbing like crazy at finally seeing her sweet honey pot. I've said before that it felt like a first date and almost like the first time I'd have her naked. I looked down at her to see her lips swollen and separated at the bottom and, yes, one of the thoughts that dominated my head was that Tony's been seeing her like this. In my head I actually thought I'd see some cum dribbling out of her but that too was all in my imagination.

I'd like to say we talked then, but we didn't. She was horny and so was I.

She teased me a little bit about, "did you miss seeing me ..... are you thinking that Tony's seen me more than you have?” but in reality, it was more horniness and about fucking than anything else. She was so wet when I finally pushed all the way into her that when I bottomed out the first time she let out a moan and her eyes fluttered back as she gave into what felt like a huge orgasm. Her pussy spasmed several times around my cock and she went from being wet to being gushingly wet just a moment later.

There's not much more to tell other than that I had to 'shhhh' her several times as we worked our way up to an intense climax for both of us. I know I was slamming into her, squishing squelching sounds from her pussy filling the room along with the slap, slap, slap sound of my balls against her ass with each thrust. I knew she was trying to hold back and time it to be simultaneous with me but at the last minute when I knew she'd feel my cock swelling just before I'd cum, she couldn't hold back and again her whole body shook and she moaned so loud as she came, violently thrashing around beneath me. A moment later I let loose in her with a huge cumload of my own.

What totally thrilled me was to feel her body respond as I came in her. A huge shriek followed by her babbling incoherently as she came again and again and again feeling me cum deep in her. At the end she wrapped her legs around my back and held me in her deeply as she shook with the end of her final orgasm. Finally a few minutes later she coughed or moved and my now shrunken cock slipped out of her.

She didn't move at all as I lifted myself up off of her and knelt between her legs. Her pussy was gaping open and crimson red and swollen. A thick bead of my cum was visible just inside her and with each breath she took I could see it swell up more and more until with another breath, a dribble ran out of her open vagina and down to her butt and then onto the bed.

I admit that kneeling there, thoughts of Tony doing the same went through my head. I had the distinct arousal of thinking that Tony had seen her several times just like this and it turned me on that again that someone she worked pretty closely with had fucked her and shared her nakedness. That thought only occupied me for a moment thought because a second after that, I leaned forward and put my mouth over her pussy mound and ran my tongue up and down her spread slit. The heat from inside her was amazing as was the combined tastes of our juices, the tanginess of my cum plus her own sweetness. I licked and sucked at her until she had to push my head away and say, "that's all I can take for now".

We lay there like that for a little while, we both actually fell asleep and, fortunately, woke up about an hour later when we headed out to a later dinner at a nearby steakhouse. Suzanna giggled on the way to the restaurant both that we'd worked up an appetite but she also giggled and said, "you did a good job cleaning me up, I don't feel all drippy!"


It was when we got back after dinner that she turned to me and said, "can we open some wine and maybe talk a bit?”

We snuggled together in bed with both of us naked and she was the one who asked,"so, what are you thinking?".

Before I could really answer her she said that it seemed that I was really enjoying the sex between us and she looked at me and asked me if I wanted it to stay that way?

I asked her what she meant and she said that, using my own terminology, that I'd surely been acting like the alpha-male and that I seemed to be really enjoying the sex with her and she wanted to know what I was thinking and, more aptly, what I wanted.

She told me again that she missed the feeling of being with another guy and it was clear that she wanted me to tell her what I was thinking about that and more. Yes, it was a sexy moment between us, I could feel her nestled into my shoulder as she talked about missing the excitement of having a boyfriend and she wanted to know all that I thought about it.

Even after all this time, sometimes it's not the easiest thing to say. We'd just made passionate love earlier and lying next to each other, even though it was hours later, it still felt very close. She lifted her head as if to tell me she wanted me to talk. I put my hand on her shoulder and when she lay back down I cleared my throat a bit and I told her that I loved her and that I didn't know why but that I too wanted her to have a boyfriend again. When I was quiet for a moment she said "is that all?" and then kissed the side of my neck and told me that I can tell her anything.

I was fumbling for what to say when she reached across and caressed my chest and then ran her hand downward. Before she reached my cock she moaned, "do you want me to deny you again?".

I moaned in reply and by the time she took my cock in her hand it was hard again already. "Tell me baby...." was what she said in this sexy voice.

The lights were down and we'd turned the TV volume down but it was still on. I didn't look at her but as she gently squeezed my cock I told her that it had really turned me on what we were doing.

"What were we doing?" she asked and I knew she wanted me to be direct. I told her that it had really turned me on that she wanted me to use condoms with her. This time though, she pushed and said, "what turned you on about it?”

I know my cock was hard when I told her, as calmly and as openly as I could that it turned me on that only her lover would cum in her.

"And?"

I just kept talking and letting whatever thought was in my head come out. I told her that it turned me on to think that it was 'her lover's pussy'. She moaned in response to that but didn't say anything more other than to sort of hug and encourage me to keep talking. I'd already said it so it didn't seem quite so hard to just keep talking and so I did. It was weird, the more I talked, it was almost that it became easier and easier. At one point she'd raised her head and when I turned to look at her she was smiling and I asked what she was smiling about, she said, "I liked hearing you tell me".

I told her that it turned me on to think about her pussy only having her lovers' cum in it and how whenever I felt it was wet or whenever we would have sex, that I knew why it was so open and wet all the time. I came out and told her clearly that her asking me to use condoms with her, because 'she wanted it' was what turned me on the most. I told her that it was crazy to say it but that it turned me on to put on the condom knowing it was me acknowledging and encouraging her to only have her lover cum in her.

She asked me how it felt to do that and I told her that it made me crazy horny to think that I was denying myself feeling her. She asked me if I ever wanted to take it off and have her bare. I told her that first I felt that desire but that after a while, the only thing I ever felt was that it turned me on even more and I admitted that was when I really began to feel like it was giving me what I wanted to feel. It was around then that she said that to me that, "I liked hearing you tell me" A moment later she said, "what is it you want to feel baby.... you can tell me anything?".

And so I told her, I said to her that it was what she'd said to me a long time ago, that I wanted her to want sex with her boyfriend and that I wanted her to give herself to him if she wanted. I told her that it turned me on that she might feel like sex with me was cheating on her boyfriend and I told her that I wanted to see the desire in her and that I wanted her to have the excitement and the intense sex with him and not necessarily with me.

She was quiet for a moment but continued holding my still hard cock. She slid up and kissed my neck and then my ear and then my lips before she talked. She asked me how the sex was earlier for us and I told her it was amazing and asked her why she was asking. She turned to look at me and for that instant, she was intently serious when she said, "I'll only feel that with him you know?"

I think it was a test because her hand never left my cock and I could swear I felt her fingers wriggle as she held me while she saw me react to what she said. I groaned loudly when she said it and I know my cock never faltered a bit, if anything it throbbed a bit as I heard her say it to me, "Is that what you want?"

I managed to whisper, "yes". As I said it she kissed me again and said she loved me and that she loved hearing me tell her, I think she said, "your most intimate thoughts".

I groaned back that it made me horny to think about. She cooed next to me and said that in a weird way it made her feel horny too and she asked, "is that part of it, when you put on a condom you know that's what it means?"

I moaned back another yes.

She kept stroking me and commented on how hard I was for having just fucked her only a few hours earlier. We kissed and rolled around, I reached over and felt her pussy and it was soaked. From what she'd said earlier, I knew it was her own wetness.

As I touched her I could feel she was relaxed about everything and it was at that point that I pulled her close to me and said, "your turn now..... tell me what you're thinking....".

She was quiet for a few minutes and I told her what she'd told me, "you can tell me anything". She giggled at my playing her own card and she took a breath and started to talk.

She told me as I mentioned before, that she'd been looking around on the web and mentioned the chatrooms and websites. She also said she'd found a pen-pal who she was having fun with and that she thought it was helping her understand me a bit more.

I didn't push or ask what else she'd learned or come to understand but clearly that's where she got the chastity idea from and as I felt earlier, it felt the same when she said that didn't do anything for her and I think she may have felt relieved that it didn't arouse me. What she did say was that she was feeling just better overall about herself and what she wanted.

I looked at her and said, "and?".

She took a second before she started to talk.

She said that she never wanted to hurt me and repeated what she's said for so long now, that if this really wasn't what I wanted, that she would stop.

I looked at her and said, "would you really?" She was quiet for a second until I added, "I don't want to but I do want to know". I have known Suzanna for 30 years now and there was no doubt that she was serious when she said, "yes, if it mattered that much to you".

Whether she could do it is another thing I suppose, but at least I do believe her heart was in her answer.

She again said that she'd found herself incredibly turned on by having a lover and she said that hearing me tell her again how I want that was important for her. She said that she knows it turns me on but that, even now, she still wants me to tell her and almost reinforce it.

I was listening intently as it was her turn to talk openly while she looked up at the ceiling, both of us agreeing that it can be difficult to tell each other some things while we are looking into each other's eyes. She said she didn't want to hurt me but that she had to admit that the excitement and as she put it, the 'naughtiness' of it is something that she finds so arousing. She held my hand tightly as she also came to admit that it did turn her on, now much more than ever, to think of her only sharing her pussy with her lover.

I told her that at times I felt like we each liked the same thing from different sides, like heads and tails on a coin.

She turned to me and she actually had what looked like tears in her eyes when she said that she enjoyed how horny it made her feel and then she added a second later, "... to make you wait sometimes".

I hugged her and said that it was okay and then said that it was something that I wanted and enjoyed between us. She spoke quietly when she said that seeing me put on a condom, that it made her head spin with the thoughts of her only being bare for her lover. Even after all what we've said and shared, I still think it was hard for her to say that it turned her on when she thought about only having her lover's cum in her.

We talked more and I told her that I did miss the bounce in her step that she had when she was seeing Robert and she let go with some more talk about how wonderful she'd been able to feel with him.

I know that when I hugged her as she talked, that she knew I was okay with it.

I think we both knew where the talking was going and that was to what she wanted for the future. She again said, "you know baby, I want to feel that head-over-heels feeling, like an affair kind of thing, if you could let me".

I looked at her and I came out and asked her if she wanted to fall in love with him, whoever he may be, as part of what she wants. She looked at me and I think was about to answer me but then she seemed to stop and almost reconsider something.

Maybe she sensed something in me or maybe she realized something in herself but she said, "well, maybe that's too strong a way to say it".

In that instant, I think I felt this incredible weight just disappear.

She looked at me and said, "I love you baby" to which I answered in a quiet voice, "that's different than screaming it out, you know...."

She smiled at that and said that she knew what I was saying was true, that even if she'd fantasized about falling for another guy, that she didn't know that she could ever really do it.

I told her that maybe what she wanted to feel was like an 'unbridled kind of lust'. She smiled and said that might be a more appropriate way to say it, and then she said, "I want to care about him, I want to feel that it's more than just sex".

I kept on hugging her and said it was okay and that if and when it happened, that, "we'll deal with it just as we have so far". She kissed me, but then it was her turn to say that what she'd said earlier was true too, that if it did happen, that she'd want to deny me again. I know I moaned in response and that made her smile.

What surprised me to hear but wasn't unexpected was the admission that followed her statement, that if she felt the way she wanted, that she was concerned with how I'd be if she wanted more.

When I asked her what she was thinking she said, "you know, what you said earlier about it being just 'his pussy'".

I moaned out loud in response to that and pulled her tightly to me. However, I did have the presence of mind to say, "well, I can't give you up altogether" to which she replied that, "we'll work something out".

I admit that I felt uncomfortable talking about that as a possible outcome so I said something like, "let’s cross that bridge when we get to it" in response.

We talked idly for a little longer but the way I'd said we'd 'cross that bridge' I guess conveyed to her that I'd maybe come to a comfortable place to hold up the discussion. I know that we talked for a bit longer but then realized it was quite late.


.. and another book filled.