Journal of a Journey - Book 54

She seemed a little distracted when she came in a little earlier than I would have expected after seeing him but I welcomed her home as usual and after a little she warmed up and I joined her for a late dinner.

I wanted to ask about her evening but she didn't seem into it although she didn't deny that she'd seen him earlier. She said we could talk more later tonight and we got into a different conversation over dinner but all the while, yes, I couldn't get it out of my mind that she'd been sitting there opposite me the whole time still obviously feeling the remains of his cum in her.

There seem to have been a shift of energy and a bit more focus back to me. If I put on my psychoanalyst hat I'm going to say that she's adjusting and getting herself ready for things to turn downward with Robert. There's no doubt about it given there's been more than a few things that have gone on. There just seems to be less desire on how she talks about him and much more about exploring this openness that we have discovered. I think she'll always want another guy on the side (she's even said it) and I don't mind. It's been amazingly good for us and right now, in a way, I'm having more sex with her than at a lot of times in our past. Granted, for me it's with a condom or for us to be masturbating together but it is 'together' but at the same time it is as I've been saying for a while now, that I am seeing signs of a bit less ardour for it all from her.

In a way, I suppose that the way things were, it either had to grow into a fuller 'affair' with him, or that it will run its natural course and come to an end. With the present circumstances of how things are, there doesn't really seem to be a way to extend the life in it. I don't think he or I would feel comfortable now meeting each other much less sharing Suzanna for an evening. Maybe it's that to her it just became sex, good sex, but just sex nonetheless. I'm actually chuckling to myself wondering if maybe she's tired of just being a receptacle for his cum. Doubtful, but perhaps it's a part of the overall situation.

She told me her distraction earlier was because Robert had asked her if they could get together on Thursday instead of Friday. When she asked him why she said she wasn't ready for his answer. He's asked another woman out on Friday night. She said that it'd led to a bit of a discussion between them with her asking him why he didn't tell her earlier, etc.

She didn't want to get into it all with me again but, apparently, he smoothed things over enough for them to have some time for fun as she assured me she, "had my turn tonight for sure!". I'm not pushing her for anything else tonight; I'm sure she'll be telling me more when she's ready.

So, I'm guessing things are about to change.


We talked a little more and she told me she's not mad or upset just a little surprised. She said she had her suspicions this was in the works beforehand and she even admitted that he'd mentioned something but she had really not been paying too much attention.

I asked her this morning whether she was going to go to see him on Thursday and she smiled and said, "probably ..." and then added, "... if that's okay with you?".

I began to ask her a bit more but she shushed me and said that rather than starting her day out with this, that we should wait till later tonight which confirmed to me that we will be doing something later tonight together.


Now that Robert is planning to begin actively dating again the realities of the modern 'Dating Game' rears its ugly head. There is of course the whole STD -thing, the realities of HIV, Aids, Hep c+, Herpes, as well as some of the other more 'old time' viruses/bugs. This being said, what changes, if any, are in store for the way Suzanna and Robert 'get Jiggy' with each other from here on in?

Given the fact that Robert loves to 'go bare' with Suzanna, I'm assuming that he will probably transfer this fondness to any future Princess he encounters during the courting process. Since these nasty little bugs seem to like to go from one wet over-excited vagina to another, does Suzanna plan to begin using condoms with him as well?

I wonder if she discussed any of this with Robert or will, in turn, discuss it with me? This could change everything. We had these same concerns when Suzanna was seeing Dan as, personally, I was never sure of his behaviour at first but later on it became obvious he wasn't seeing other women.

We have not yet had this discussion yet but I also know that Suzanna will err on the safe side at first as she's done with other guys and yes, use condoms with them. The situation with Robert is a bit different as he is actively looking for other partners and surely he'll hopefully want to spend time with more than one lady in making his ultimate decision.

I'm going to say that Suzanna is the one who needs to have the conversation with Robert and I guess the question will be does she trust him to tell her the truth regarding him being conscientious with his new paramours and using condoms for safety with them. If she's convinced he's only going bare with her, then I am quite sure she'll continue letting him do so. This is something that does need to be sorted out. In other situations we've been in, Suzanna has been the only female involved so it's not been an issue.

There are a lot of schools of thought but I'm quite sure that both Suzanna and I prefer to err on the safe side. I suppose if I had my way for maximum safety it'd be for her to befriend a younger geeky guy who's still a virgin and for her to have fun with him but I suspect, other than the initial conquest, that it wouldn't do it for her, this isn't something she's voiced a fantasy about.


We talked about a lot of things last night, nothing in great detail but we covered a lot of ground. It was all good and led to it eventually being quite an enjoyable evening for me!

She says she's happy for Robert that he's found someone else and I believe that. She added that she's also disappointed inasmuch as that now she's come out of her shell and reaching the point where she could open up with him and me about things that previously she felt uncomfortable revealing or accepting, she now feels that's being yanked out from beneath her.

I consoled her by saying that it's going to take quite some time before he feels he may have found a partner who he can be as open/free with as her. I also joked with her that she's set the bar really high in light of what they're doing together and what she's ******* him to in terms of sexuality. I felt there was no need to even discuss the condom thing yet as she said that he's already sort of mentioned how much he's going to cherish having her bare for so long.

I broached the subject of what might happen between them eventually and she said that obviously she wouldn't want to stand in his way if he found 'Mrs. Right'. She said that seeing his reaction and anticipation over whoever he's seeing on Friday, she said that it became clear to her then that he was serious about getting what he'd said he wanted, children.

I know that in a way she feels sad about it all. She's often said that it's good that she's well into menopause so she can't even consider the thought of being able to fulfil his desire. However, I can read a lot into that; the 'what if?'; 'what would have?'; 'could it?', etc. but I'm not going there and neither is she ... but I will say that it gets me horny that she'd thought of all of that!

It was when we started talking about her seeing him tonight that we somehow moved from one sort of conversation into one that was more sexually arousing for me. She leaned down and kissed me as we lay on the bed but she also made it clear that this wasn't like last week and me having sex with her wasn't an option. As we kissed she moaned, "I'd love to watch you again tonight baby". I was horny already and didn't need much coaxing and a few minutes later she was sliding off my shorts and boxers. She was all smiles when she saw that I was already getting hard and commented on how our talk had gotten me horny. She asked me what turned me on and because I was hesitant at first she started to run her hands all over me, up my legs, tickling my balls and all around. She reached down to give me a little tug with her hand and that's when I started to talk to her.

I told her that I was turned on by what we'd talked about and that I was still 'up"' from the stuff we'd been started sharing together. She giggled and said something like, "awww, it turns you on to think of me as being slutty, doesn't it?” (Her using the word 'slutty' still surprises me.) She continued the teasing in saying, "I'll let you cum in me again baby, probably when things have died down with Robert ... " she giggled, leaned and kissed my ear and whispered, "... you'll just have to wait till then". She was still stroking my cock and I know she felt my response to what she'd said as even I could feel it throb in her hand.

She was laying on her side next to me as she stroked me saying stuff about how long it's been since I came in her pussy and how sexy she says she feels knowing that. It was when she asked me to talk back to her about what she was saying that she put my hand on my cock and said, "tell me what you're thinking as you take care of yourself".

I really do love lying there next to her and masturbating for her. She gets transfixed staring at my hand sometimes and will sometimes go into one of those daydream stares where she is talking to me but is obviously glued to my hand working my cock. I felt her finger reach out and wipe away what must have been some pre-cum at the tip. I thought she was going to put it in my mouth but instead she licked her finger and then cooed to me in a whisper at how sweet it tastes. I was still stroking away and she reminded me how much it turned her on that I wasn't going to be cumming in her.

I lay back and commented back at what she'd said. I told her that it made me really horny when I think about using condoms with her and that when we do have sex together, it is that thought that turns me on so much; that when I'm done, that all of my cum is caught in the condom and that her pussy can 'remain her lovers' to use'.

She really ramped up the teasing and said, "That gets me to me too, you not cumming in me makes me really feel like it is Robert's pussy".

I moaned to her and asked whether he knew what we were doing. She giggled and said that she'd told him that I do use condoms with her "'most of the time' because it helps with my "medical issues". My god did my cock throb when she said that he told her that he likes knowing he's the only one cumming in her.

As I said, I was pretty horny already and all of this had me almost at the edge. She moved up and whispered in my ear that, "I like that only my lover gets to feel me and cum in me ..." and she kissed me, "... it really makes me horny".

I know it wasn't much in terms of teasing but it was the way she said it that left no doubt in my mind and it was also what pushed me over the edge. I think I surprised her almost as much as myself when I let myself go at that moment and moaned loudly and let the first thick spurts fly. She breathed in sharply as I first let go but as I continued to stroke and then milk the last out of my cock she'd moved to a low moan and when I'd squeezed the last drips out she again moaned loudly and said, "Oh god, does that turn me on".

Straightaway she seemed to take a lot of pleasure in gathering it all up into one big puddle on my stomach and then, fingerful by fingerful, letting me lick it off. She looked at me and said she loved me and that she thinks she even orgasmed herself without even touching herself as I came and that every time she watches me or when she sees me pull out of her with a condom full of cum that it really sets her off and turns her on incredibly.

I laughed to myself and thought, "that's exactly how I feel thinking of just Robert cumming in her".


This change in Robert seems to have given Suzanna a bit of a different outlook. It's obvious that the sex between them is still pretty darn good (at least that's the way it seems to me both from how she seems to be acting/behaving but also from what I can actually 'see') and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that there's perhaps even a bit more physical going on. From the things she's sharing with me about when they're together there seems to be less, if you'll call it, 'philosophical' and more emphasis on just a purely sexual-fun kind of thing. The other thing is that there's been a definite uptick in the emotional and physical connection I feel with her. I'm going to say that the condom thing and her desire for me to use them, now that that's both out in the open and something that we've accepted as our new (hopefully) temporary 'norm' that she's really seeming to get into sex with me a bit more.


As far as I know Suzanna didn't talk to Robert after Friday night but I expect that she will talk to him today, maybe just via innocuous email at work; they know how to keep things discrete.

Further exemplifying the changes in their relationship, she isn't seeing him tonight and has already said that she may be moving to 'just Tuesdays and Thursdays' with him. Reading between the lines, it's clear that since the announcement of his date last Friday there's been a marked change in how she feels towards him. Suzanna continues to say she's happy for him and all of that, but underneath there's a definite sombreness to things.

I did tell her over this weekend that 'things had to change eventually' and again she expressed that her sadness was due not so much at losing him but more that it was him that had been responsible for these new sexual desires and an ability to be open to them. She feels, in a way, sad at losing the relationship that she feels has led her here.

I countered that there's no reason to shut it down so fast. She giggled that she has no intention of that and joked that she was going to 'ride this till it ends' and I knew she meant that in more ways than one!


Friday night though, and I knew it was on her mind that he was out with another woman. I did console her and say that I was sure that it'd be a while before (IF!) they were going to get intimate with each other. She smiled and said that she was sure that 'it' might take some time; that he would most likely romance and seduce his next partner much the way he did with her; that he'd only go to bed with her if it was something that felt right (like it did with her). However, I could tell her mind was still on him as we found some time for ourselves to have our own fun.

She did let me go down on her including spreading her legs and letting me 'going inside' this time. I had the thought that she allowed me as a way to 'get back' at Robert in a way for being 'unfaithful' but it didn't matter to me, I knew that I was finally getting to spread her legs and lick and taste her most sexy places.

I could still taste the bitterness of his cum that remained in her, it was quite the turn-on to do so and I loved how the both of them tasted together as she allowed me to bring her to orgasm orally before I'd even gotten fully undressed. She moaned when we kissed and I told her that her pussy still tasted of her lover and hearing me say that did get her hornier for sure. She did finally warm up and after some more kissing and fingering and licking she was starting to ask and then almost beg me to fuck her with her saying that she, "needed it so bad".

I don't even pause or think to ask her as I reach for the box of condoms; I just so look forward to seeing the beaming look on her face as I put one on for her. I do miss feeling her pussy, it's becoming something that I feel more pointedly these days, that I'm not getting to feel the tenderness of her sweet pussy with my cock directly but at the same time I cannot deny how incredibly horny I get when I see the look on her face as I roll the condom onto my cock. Whereas in the past I used to shrivel up or shrink, now, if anything, my cock seems to grow harder as I pull it into place. Something even she's noticed!

I did tease her and joked as I pulled one out of the box that, "who knows, maybe you'll be taking these out with you again" to which she smiled and said, "you might be right". A clear indication to me that she's thinking beyond Robert.

We didn't really get too much into teasing or other stuff. Instead, when I pushed into her that first time, she reached up and pulled me close and for a little while, we shared a very intense, deep close fuck. She held her own legs back and apart as she wanted me to hug her and hold her tight as we fucked deeply. She told me how good I felt inside her and I, in turn, told her how great she felt. As she was really getting into it I told her how turned on I was feeling how wet and open she was and she giggled back and said, "Yeah, Robert had done me good".

I didn't tell her just then (but did over the weekend) but her pussy does feel different. Maybe it's because he'd 'done her good' the night before but it's something I've taken note of in the past few weeks. When she gets really horny and turned on her pussy opens up so deep now and once she's really warmed up, it even surprises me how deep and slick and open she now feels. It is such an intense thought that her lover may have stretched her out and that I can now feel it. I'm going to say that it even brings back some distant memories of when we first started dating that I can vaguely remember thinking to myself about how other guys had been in her and that was why she felt as she did.

Other than what was in my head, we didn't really talk too much while we were busy instead it became much more grunting and moaning which soon yielded to squishing and sloshing in her pussy as I plunged in and out of her. We did start out in this close loving fashion, after a short while we moved into what is Suzanna's favourite position, me to hold her legs back around my arms and spread her wide so that we can both look down and see my condom covered cock plunging into her. I'm not sure what was in her head but I know what was in mine, that I felt the need to fuck her even harder and deeper as I knew I needed to cum soon. A few minutes later I heard and felt her start to cum and that pulled me right over the edge and I thrust into her as hard and deep as I could as I came and came.

We lay together for a while until I lifted up off her and she held me in place with her legs as she got up on her elbows and she then let me go and pull out as she eagerly watched. I swear she almost seemed to cum again as she held my cock as I pulled out and began to pull the condom off. She had this huge smile on her face as she squeezed the tip full of my cum and her look said it all, that she loved me not cumming in her. I admit seeing the look on her face.

She put the used condom on the nightstand and she reached up to pull me down against her (careful to not let my cock slip back into her though) and it gave me an awesome feeling as she hugged me deeply. We kissed and lay there for a while just holding each other before drifting off into a contented sleep.


We didn't do much on during the day on Saturday, some friends came by in the morning and we enjoyed the nice weather and that was pretty much it. However, come last night, we broke some new ground....!

Our ******** went over a girlfriend’s house to work on a project due for school this week which left Suzanna and I home alone with some free time on our hands.

I won't go into great details on all of the afternoon or the fun we had but as we shared a bottle of wine once again she let me go down on her and this time didn't limit me or discouraged me to spread her open and enjoy all of her with my fingers and tongue.

I was excited when she looked at me and asked me if I wanted to 'have some fun'. I was all ears and she suggested that we, "could have some fun with some fantasy stuff baby".

I was ready and asked her what she was thinking about. She took another sip of wine and giggled and said, "mmmm, I've been thinking....” I pushed her for what she'd been thinking about and she said, "remember, this is all in fun - like the other stuff we played with...." (which I knew to be when we played with the pregnancy stuff).

I told her, "of course!" and she giggled again, slid up next to me and said, "give me one of my toys and some lubricant."

I turned and reached over into her nightstand and picked out 'Jim' (her gel-dildo) and some lubricant and watched as she squeezed the lube all over the dildo and she proceeded to rub it up and down between her pussy lips. She made sure I was looking and smiled as she tipped it back and pushed it into her now spread pussy. As she started to fuck herself with it she looked back at me with an almost glazed look in her eye and said, "let me have some fun for a little bit ..... mmmmmm ...... and then we can have some fun and pretend that lots of guys had me already." She pulled the dildo out, squeezed more lube onto it and then plunged 'him' back in.

As she fucked herself through one orgasm and towards another she said, "come on baby - let me suck you while Jim is fucking me". I put one knee on the bed and stood next to the bed as she pulled my cock in her mouth with one hand and she continued to fuck herself with the other. She moaned, "Ohhhh, two guys at once" as she really seemed to get into it and closed her eyes.

I felt her cum again beneath me as she continued to suck at me but I could tell as she came that she seemed to stop moving her head and just let my cock lie in her mouth. What really turned me on was that after she came again lying beneath me that she pulled the dildo out and without looking again applied more lube to it and pushed it back in. As she did she took my cock out of her mouth and moaned up at me, "oh god ... another guy ..." I watched and she again started to rapidly fuck herself with the dildo for a short while until she again began to approach another orgasm. I could hear and feel her moaning on my cock as I watched proudly as she really fucked the heck out of her pussy. I went to help her out but she pushed my hand away and moaned back to me, "let them finish with me and then it can be your turn". Holy crap, she had me rock hard hearing all of this and she was moaning away saying how hard she felt my cock.

I was really getting horny and I knew she could tell for she had to be tasting all of the pre-cum that was seeping out of my cock. I watched her pull her own knees back as she plunged the dildo in again and again and I knew that all of the wetness that I saw wasn't just from the lubricant!

Finally she pushed the dildo in really deep and must have had an intense orgasm because her back arched and as she stopped sucking me for a moment her whole body shook. She rested her feet back on the bed and pulled me out of your mouth and said, "I think they're all done for now baby; do you want your turn?”

I felt like a kid in a candy shop as I eagerly nodded and moaned 'uh huh'. I moved around the bed to get in position but before I could get close she reached over and handed me a condom. She looked up at me and said, "you know baby, bare is only for my lovers".

Oh man, did that get my cock to throbbing!!! I almost couldn't focus on putting the condom on as I was just so horny by then. She was eagerly watching me and as I rolled it down onto my cock she cooed, "okay baby, now you can have your fun ..." and as I rubbed the tip of my latex covered cock around her now open vagina and pushed it gently into her she said, "... come on baby, see what they did to me".

I pushed into her and I could feel that her pussy was now gaping open, slick and smooth inside. Each time I pushed fully into her, her pussy would squelch and squish loudly. She moaned back at me and said, "oh god, they fucked me so much...."

I replied back, "yeah baby, you're so full, they all came in you". That really got her going even more and I slammed into her deeply as she started to moan away. I kept it up with her and told her how sexy it was that she'd let all these guys fuck her and she moaned back that she loved, "all of their cum....”

It was easier for me to get into this fantasy role-playing with her than the pregnancy thing. I don't know why but it just seemed to be easier for me to extol on how sexy she was after she'd been pretend-gang-banged than it was for me to openly fantasize about her getting pregnant from Robert.

I was really getting into it and I was able to tell her so too. I told her how sexy she looked as each guy fucked her and I told her how it turned me on to hear the moan as they came in her. She squealed back that she loved, "feeling their cum dripping as you fuck it out of me!". I even got a bit graphic and slutty with her and I told her that, "your cunt feels so sloppy and open". She bucked and moaned deeply as I said that to her and she got into it and said that she loved feeling each guy take their turn. I told her to look down and to, "look at your messy pussy baby" and, sure enough, she was swollen and the cleft where my cock was buried in her was reddened and glistening.

She grunted back and asked me, "did you keep track of the guys; how many were there?" and I moaned back that I thought that '5 guys had fucked her'. That brought about another deep moan from her and I felt her arch her back upwards towards me as I guess another orgasm rolled over her. I kept on talking to her and I just kept up the explicitness, I told her, "your cunt feels good with all that cum in you".

She moaned back that I should enjoy her and as she pulled her legs back even more for me told me, "they were so big in me ...... I came so many times already".

I looked back down at her and said, "I think you have at least one more time coming!"

She giggled and wrapped her legs around me and said, "come on baby, I know you love that those other guys came in me" and a second later she looked up at me and she realized I'd need a bit more stimulation as she said, "someday baby you can feel me again and cum in me again ..... but for now baby, oh god, I so want you to fill up that rubber in me!". I told her that I could feel how wet she felt and she teased me a bit more and said, "aww baby, I'm sorry but my pussy is just for my lovers to feel bare, you know that, right?”

I knew that was a bit more reality than fantasy but I played along and said, "yeah baby, I know that, it turns me on that I have to wait for that with you".

She got up on her elbows and I guess she was ready for me to cum as she said, "come on baby ... fill up that condom for me baby".

It was the way she said it, so sexy and to-the-point, I moaned back and told her the truth, "it drive me crazy that I don't get to feel you" and she cooed back, "yeah baby, but all those other guys got to....” I pushed back into her deeply one last time and her pussy let out the most erotic squishing sound, she moaned loudly, "oh god, again....." and that was it, I really felt her body shake and tremble beneath me as she moaned, "fuck me, fuck me, fuck me over and over....". I let the images in my head push me over and a second later I blasted out into the condom and collapsed against her as we both struggled to catch our breaths.

As I rolled off her afterwards she rolled onto her side next to me and we both, almost at the same time said, "wow". She giggled at the condom now barely hanging onto the end of my softened cock and as she picked it up and held it in her hand she said to me, "wow, that's a lot of cum for you!” I looked at the condom and even I had to agree.

She looked up at my face, moved over towards me, kissed me and then, while she was still up close to me she looked me right in the eye and said, "thank you that was really intense".


It has just been a crazy week. I've had to go into the office most every day and have been stuck there much later due to problems we are working through on our system. However, it worked out well for on Tuesday night I got home after Suzanna. I had realized on my drive home and had the erotic thought that she would be there already from having been with Robert. I admit that was the thought in the forefront of my mind as I came in and kissed her as we normally do when one of us comes home. She'd cleaned up and changed but I still just knew that she'd been with him earlier.

I was pretty wiped out and tired and to be honest I more enjoyed the knowledge of it in my head rather than talk about it for the rest of the night. Sitting next to her watching TV and knowing she was undoubtedly still wet from him earlier as she shifted around next to me it continually crossed my mind what she must be feeling.

(I did share all of these thoughts with her later and she giggled at the little things that I confessed that turned me on. She was surprised by how erotic some of my thoughts were but I think it was no surprise to her that they were all explicit porn-like.)

We had a nice dinner and retired to our bedroom sometime before 10:30pm at which point she knelt next to me and we talked about a bunch of stuff, some that I already shared; others that made me laugh.

She seemed up about sharing with me how Robbie's date went last Friday which apparently went well and she told me he is planning on seeing her this Friday too. I asked Suzanna how she felt about this and she seemed genuinely supportive of him. She said several times that it's what 'he needs'. When she heard that he was seeing her again she says she warned him to go slow with her sexually, telling him that he's 'pretty big' and to be careful. She giggled and said that he thought she was joking at first until she had to tell him that he's amongst the bigger guys she's been with in her life. He was *******.

She said that they talked for a few minutes and at one point she asked him if he'd ever had any relationships go south once the sex began in them. Apparently he'd never realized or connected that maybe he was too big for them or hadn't paid enough attention to that?! That made me laugh for sure and secretly made me feel good as Suzanna says that while I'm also pretty big I've always been concerned about making sure my partner enjoyed things so it always worked out

It was nice talking but we both knew what we wanted last night. She said she genuinely wanted to just watch me and, of course, to make sure I was turned on too! She sidled up to me as she slid her hands down my body and into my pants and told me how horny it makes her feel to watch me and how she loves seeing me cumming and the pleasure on my face.

I love to masturbate for her and last night was no exception. She started stroking me and was all smiles as I got hard really quickly. She cooed and teased me whether it turned me on, "to know I was wet all night from him?" I took over stroking as I told her that it always turns me on that she fucks other guys saying that, "it always turns me on that you share your pussy with him". She moaned back at me and kept on escalating the conversation. She told me how she 'always feels sexy' knowing what we are doing together and that she understand how it turns me on to always know that this is going on between us. She emphasized again at how horny she feels knowing her pussy almost always feels slippery and that it's only him that caused it and not me.

I think she knows that between us when we're alone that a little bit of humiliation is arousing to me. She teased me at times that, "you'll get to feel me again one day" and at other times she extolled about how horny she is when she sees me, "take off your condom and it's full of your cum that isn't in me". Just the way she said it left me no doubt that this has become something that really seems to turn her on to think about.

At other times she makes me cum violently by telling me that, "he's cum in me like 30 or 40 times since you have". She sees me having to stop stroking at that moment to control myself and hold back my orgasm but she knows I'm about to spew all over and knows why, it's from what she was teasing me about.

It wasn't just her, I answered her honestly that it turned me on too and that only made me want to cum even more but it was when she slid up to my neck and kissed my shoulder and neck gently and started to coo in my ear that she wanted to see it, when she said it with more and more intent each time saying, "come on baby, let me see all your cum". I don't recall exactly what she said this time but it was something about it not going in her again that set me off. I moaned loudly and felt it release and felt spurt after spurt land on my stomach and drip down my hand. What really turned me on as I came down was that she was rubbing her legs together quite hard and that as quietly as she could she was cumming herself.

Sometimes I'll feel a little embarrassed afterwards either from just what I did, masturbated and cum in front of her, or from what we'd teased about. But not last night, I just lay back afterwards and I felt her lean onto my chest as we both caught our breath. Sometimes it can feel weird lying there covered with a load of cum but not last night. As she lay on my chest and caught her breath I could feel her finger playing with my cum, tracing it all over my stomach and then her pushing it all towards my navel. I don't need to say how erotic that felt or that I was looking forward to what I knew was coming next.


She's seeing him again, quickly, she said, this evening after work. She giggled and said, "I don't want him to be too horny for his date tomorrow night (Friday) with his new lady".


I'm not sure that he's shared where he's trolling for women; there are some definite pick-up places like bars in some of the nicer hotels in the area. There are number of places not far from where they work where on Fridays they generate quite a bit of after-work business. I know there are some more resort-type areas nearby that have a different kinds of bars and clubs, jazz, etc. All good places, I should think.

Having said that, thinking of it from his perspective of making a pick-up, I honestly don't picture Suzanna ever being comfortable sitting at a bar alone waiting to be hit upon or picked-up. I just can't see it happening as the way she'd want to meet her next partner. She might make an exception when being on vacation, a drink-induced one-night-stand kind of thing, but even then I don't think she'd see that as a good way to find someone with whom she would, possibly/eventually be as open and introspective as she is with Robert.

My guess is that as things fade with Robert (which could be sooner than even I thought if he becomes sexually active with his new date) my thoughts are that he's going to possibly forego Thursdays with Suzanna in order for him to have Fridays with his new paramour. My guess is that as things fade it's going to bother Suzanna, even hurt a bit when the reality of it all sets in, but that women have a way of acting to signal they're 'available'. Not sure what it is, maybe just lingering as she returns a stare at another guy, but whatever it is, I'm sure she'll see what that response is.

So far, she's been lucky in terms of who and where she's met guys although I've always thought that with Robert it may be a little too close to home in terms of them working at the same company.

My thinking is that if the 'going to bars' thing doesn't pan out that we follow through on her maybe taking some adult-Ed classes or joining group activities at our local community college. Both of those are what she's talked about doing anyway after our ******** goes off to college next year and both would offer her a lot of opportunity to find other guys. We'll see.

I have already begun to accept that my future, at least what I can see, may not include cumming in her until she gets past this phase and desirs she's feeling. I do think at some point she'll miss the feelings she's enjoying now and will relent and will want me to resume cumming in her, I'm not sure how the timing will work in terms of Robert or whoever may be next.

She's revealed a lot of thoughts and desires in our talks. She says they're just fantasies but while they might be fantasies now, that doesn't mean anything for the future. The way she talks some of the times we're getting into it does give me pause for thought after all she did at one point fondly remember being promiscuous in the past too. Nothing would surprise me though, I am actually going to say that I want to speed all this up and see what happens next for us.


As happened last week, she was a bit less 'up' when she came home after seeing him than in the past. She shared that they'd talked about 'his new date' and apparently he 'likes' this new girl which, obviously, distressed Suzanna a little even though she was nothing but supportive of him.

I don't think Suzanna asked where they met or, if she did, she didn't share it with me but she did say that the girl he's dating is younger than him which Suzanna thought would be good for him if he's looking to have kids one day.

I made a bad joke with her that if that was the case then she may be having some competition for time with him. She seemed a bit quiet about that as I think it is weighing on her more than she is letting on.

That said, she did say she had a wonderful time and I told her that was obvious. She asked me what that meant and I simply told her that it's obvious from how she looks; how she walks; how she carries herself and how she talks, that the sex was very good. She seemed almost embarrassed until I told her that I think it's really sexy to know why she looks that way. That brought a smile to her face and she moved closer to me, hugged me and gave me a kiss. As we stood close to each other and talked I asked her casually, "are you all messy from him right now?"

She kissed me, smiled and said, "yes baby".

I wasn't totally sure on what we might be doing last night before she came home but after our talk and such it soon became clear that she didn't want to do anything.

This morning as she made for the door on her way out to work she did give me a passionate kiss and said, "I need you tonight baby". I pulled her close and she giggled as she felt my hardening cock and she said, "seems like you want it too".


We had a great weekend and with the kids not being around we have been talking without interruption and our conversation has been mainly focussed on her trying to understand more about my penchant for denial and what I was feeling. She in turn shared some of her thoughts and realizations too.

One of the thoughts she shared with me was that she feels that my using condoms with her, in some way in her mind, gives her the reinforcement that our relationship isn't just based on sex. As she put it, my willingness to give up that, 'most intimate' feeling seems to convey to her that I want her for more than just sex and for more than just her willingness to fuck me or cum in her. I hadn't ever thought about this before and it surprised me that she'd read this into what we were doing but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me in a way. She seemed to really feel that my acceptance of her request signified that it's her that I want and not merely the opportunity to deposit my cum in her (her words, not mine).

Her take led to a lot of things and made me to realize a lot of what turns her on seems to touch her in more ways than I'd thought. She says that this feeling she has is really sort of independent of Robert or whoever and that she even thinks it's something that she's felt now for a long time. She says that my accepting of all of the denial stuff we've done has reinforced her belief that it's her that I want with or without the sex part.

I told her that I'd never really thought about it that way but that maybe somewhere I might have some of the same thoughts. I shared with her in many ways the odd pleasure I get from her denying me the ability to cum in her that maybe it's somewhat similar. I know that despite my occasional thought that I would like to feel her bare again, despite that, when we are done, I do feel a tremendous feeling of satisfaction that's beyond just the orgasm itself.

Another thought I shared with her is that my feelings and arousal at using condoms with her aren't unique or new. She was curious at what I was getting at and I admitted that it turns me on incredibly to use condoms with her and I shared that it seems to have always turned me on that she shared some of her most intimate moments with other guys before me. I think she thought I was going to start with her with Peter but instead I told her that it'd turned me on so much to hear her tell me about losing her virginity. Again I told her that what she'd shared about her promiscuousness in college really turned me on and I told her that included her boyfriend (the one she says had a really skinny cock) back then who used to fuck her anally all the time.

I continued and told her that it turned me on to think of her first wedding and that first night for her with her ex-husband. She was a bit surprised at that as I don't think she realised that over time she'd given me bits and pieces of those times from which I was able to put a picture together. She blushed as I told her that I'd seen a few photos of her in her wedding-dress from the first time and I'd seen a picture of her ex and that it turned me on to think of him undressing her that first night and having her on their hotel bed.

I guess I explained myself well enough to clarify things for her because a moment of so later she said that she started to understand why some things had happened as they did and that she now understood how significant they must have felt to me. She said she always felt that she had to reach a certain level of intimacy with her guys but that once she was there, she felt very free with them. She hadn't realized that when she reached there, that it had such an arousing effect on me.

She giggled and she said she can remember how almost upset I was but yet how turned on I was way back when things first started. She said that she remembered how upset and worked-up I would get when she first showed Peter how to check on and later, how to put in her diaphragm. She said she remembered me saying something about how it was when she showed me how to do that.

She looked at me and said "so it turns you on that they get to do that instead of you?” I was so deep in thought that it took me a minute to nod my head yes to her. She smiled and giggled a little and said that she'd not realized all of this back then. She kissed me deeply.

It felt so good to talk to her and she was right, it wasn't hard to talk to her;, it really felt good to be able to talk, openly.

At another point she shared that she wasn't totally sure of her own motivation. What she said was that she had originally, and up to very recently, thought her desire to have me use condoms with her was out of her own arousal at being exclusive for her lover but she now admits that it turns her on to know that she is denying me. She asked me how I felt about that and I repeated what I'd said before, that it turned me on to deny myself and to give her what she wanted. I told her that when I was buying condoms in our local CVS that I thought how erotic it was that I was buying my own condoms to deny myself one of the most intimate pleasures we can possibly share.

The look on her face as I said that to her seemed to share more than anything she could possibly say. I told her that I couldn't fully understand it all but I knew that it brought me, as I've already described it, that it makes me perversely turned on. She hugged me and said that it turned her on too, to think that she's my loving wife and that between us both, we don't want me to cum in her. I deliberately say 'we' because she asked me that, 'do I like it?' I couldn't lie and I told her again that it turned me on enough that I would do it for as long as she wanted me to.

My admission of enjoying it led her to start to ask me a lot more exploring-type questions. I was floored by one when she asked, "If I wanted it, would you want to have anal sex with me or would you want someone else to?"

I was speechless for a moment until she looked at me and reminded me that I'd wanted her to do other stuff with her lovers before me. She made clear mention of both the time with her new IUD and again after it was removed and basically said, "is that the kind of denial that turns you on?".

When I was still lost for words she held my hand and said, "it's okay if it does" and proceeded to tell me how my honesty was totally captivating. She said she'd never felt so close to me and told me several times that it's okay if this turns me on, that it's just something she wouldn't ever think less of me for doing, if anything, she said she thought so much more of me that I'd be willing to talk about this kind of thing.

I know it was the height of the moment but it was also what she was saying to me. She said that she felt so sexually alive at what we're doing and at how horny it all made her feel. She says that knowing it turns me only made it all the better for her.

I was still kind of figuring out what to say to her she said something like, "Maybe this will help, when you think of me having sex with Robert and me having sex with you, what turns you on to think about the most?". I moaned out loud at that and I told her that the most erotic thing that I can think of that turns me on incredibly was to think about what she's seen in some of the video's that I enjoy; I told her that it turns me on to think of him cumming in her and then him pushing back into her afterwards like sloppy seconds.

She teasingly said, "Aww, that would be something you don't get to feel...." as if to have sympathy with me but at the same time to point it out that she is denying me the satisfaction.

She started to say more but then she stopped saying she had thought about something but wasn't sure that she should say it now. Obviously I couldn't let it drop, not in the heat of the moment, and I pushed her a bit and said, "remember what you said; that you could share anything" and added that I wanted to know.

She took a deep breath and she said she was going to say something else that I didn't get to feel but that she wasn't sure it was something that would necessarily turn me on. I told her that she should just say it. She said something like, "you don't get to feel me cum when you do". I wasn't sure of what I'd heard until she got more explicit and said that, "feeling him cum in me always makes me cum too". She then said, "I don't feel that (much) with you since the condom holds it all". She said that was something she realized that she was turned on herself that she would only feel with Robert and it's something that led to her new realization that she enjoys denying me. She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry baby, but it turns me on to think that I only feel that with Robert" and proceeded to tell me how erotic she felt knowing that the orgasm she feels as he cums in her is something that she only feels with him. She held my hand and said that she was sorry if that hurt me at all.

It did hurt but it also turned me on incredibly! Oh my god, did it turn me on to hear her say that. I told her that it turned me on knowing that she experienced sexual feelings only with her lover. She turned to me and said, "even if it's instead of with you?"

I nodded, kissed her and said, "yes". She hugged me and a flood of emotions were let loose for a few minutes as she had to wipe away a tear or two.

I kissed her and to sort of calm her down I told her that one of the most erotic thoughts I have that turns me on like crazy is to think about it only being Robert that gets to feel the inside of her pussy. I told her that while I do really miss that feeling, that knowing I am missing it is incredibly arousing to me and the arousal I feel knowing that in many ways outweighs the pleasure that I know I am missing.

She looked at me and said that was maybe the most meaningful thing I've told her in a long time. She kissed me passionately and said, "I think I understand you even more".

We kept on talking into yesterday and I'd even say that we're not done yet as she seems very animated about all of this and very 'up' on this being something new between us. Other things she said were equally enlightening. At one point she said, "some couples just use condoms all the time" and I replied that they do that for other reasons than why we use them. Her response at that point was that she knows of many women who detest the mess and that's why they use them. Again I replied that they are different from her which made her giggle but she did say that it wasn't so strange or odd in that other couples, intentionally or not, also didn't share this type of pleasure.

She seemed captivated that I was able to tell her how certain things turned me on and I think it surprised her at some of what aroused me. When I told her that it turned me when I thought about Robert feeling sloppy-seconds with her; later on she asked me to tell her more if I could about how it made me feel. I told her what I'd already said, that some of the most intense moments was knowing that Robert would cum in her and then push back into her and share that post-fuck feeling of leaving his cock in her pussy. I told her that when I cum in the condom and that I don't get to feel that erotic feeling of pushing back into her and feeling her pussy full of my cum but knowing that he does that with her, I told her that it gives me a crazy kind of satisfaction and that even as I lay on her with my cock still in her with the condom it turns me on. I told her it even keeps me hard for a little longer (sometimes making me spurt another or two of cum) as I think that I don't get to feel that in her.

She responded that it scared her sometimes to know that she doesn't feel some of this with me but now, after hearing how intense it makes me feel she said it helped her a lot to understand me better.

I told her it was the same thing as when we first start to have sex, that knowing when I put on the condom, that I'm giving up what she freely shares with Robert; that I am knowingly giving up not only cumming in her but really, even feeling the silky insides of her pussy. Wow did her eyes really open up. Later on she said that she hadn't realised just how deep and intense some of this makes me feel.

We briefly talked about Wednesdays. She giggled and said that she so looks forward to it and how much she likes watching me. I told her that it was something I looked forward to as well and she giggled again and said that she knew I liked it. She said that she loves our Wednesdays because she loves being able to watch me and that she knows that when I cum, that it's something she's helped bring me to. She also repeated again that it made her feel very horny in seeing me cum and knowing it's not going in her.

I did tell her several times how scared I felt admitting all of this to her but her response was just so calm and even nurturing. Later on she said that all along she'd hoped this was all good for me and that it was working for me. She added that she is now realizing that in many ways, we are both feeling the same arousal but maybe just from different sides of the same coin.

I truly never thought I would feel this much sexual arousal at this point in my life. I know it's a crazy thing that I've given up some of the most intimate moments I can share with my wife but at the same time I cannot deny how turned on it makes me knowing I'm doing so.

I'm thinking that Suzanna's brought all of this out in the open so that it's something that we can both fall-back on when things wind down with Robert. Also I know she thinks (we've said so together) we will continue to put her fun with her lover, present and future, as something we can both look forward to. She did say that I was a bit crazy enjoying all of this as I am but she hugged me and said that she was lucky to have me as her husband and to go down this road together.

I'm pretty sure that this isn't the end of our discussion.


When I'm in a truly horny/sexual mood I have thoughts of suggesting to her of giving Robert the opportunity for anal sex. I find the idea very arousing but I also know that it's not something she will answer positively, not if he's as large as she's said he is.

It's weird to be sharing such thoughts with her but I now know of her desire to hear them and to have her actually listen to them is very rewarding.

I think things are surely going to ramp up with what Suzanna does and shares with me when we're together. I was a bit scared to reveal this stuff to her but she is right, why shouldn't I share it with her. It's obvious that anal sex is something that I've thought about and is a part of both my arousal and acceptance of what we're doing. It felt good in away to share intimate secrets like that.


She is seeing him tonight and she said before she just left for work that, "we can talk more tonight if you want".

I didn’t' ask but it does appear that they are now going down to 2x a week that they are getting together.

I think that we are bordering on a new 'norm' for us but as long as I know that we can reconnect I don't fear it enough to say I don't want to continue. I can't be sure just yet but there is a growing part of me that feels this is the type of denial I've been searching for since, well, forever.

I know that it's crazy to feel this way but it does turn me on incredibly to do what we are doing . What makes it so great is that it's a 'we-thing' and it's working for us and it still seems like this is something we're doing together. The desire I feel for her seems to have grown even more since starting this openness and the satisfaction I feel has also increased.

I don't know that either of us has fully processed it all and I'm sure that our usual Wednesday night open discussions will be revealing. She kissed me passionately before she left for work and gently mentioned looking forward to tonight.


She did see Robert yesterday and she did tease me a bit about it when she kissed me and more so at several times when she'd shift how she was sitting or would adjust her panties. She would see me looking at her and she'd have a huge grin. During a commercial in the TV show we were watching she got up, whispered in my ear that she was going to change her panties. The thought of the reason why really got me horny but we didn't talk or really go back to it after she returned, instead we got engrossed in the TV show and the evening just passed by with us sharing sly smiles back and forth; nothing more than that.


I did manage to ask her a fantasy question about anal sex but it was posed in a rhetorical way as it came up after I'd mentioned to her about her ex-boyfriend back in college who used to fuck her that way. Although, there was some genuine truth to the question of her doing it with Robert, I think I had a complicated answer.

The way it went was if it were to come up in a sexually charged situation that she would somehow ask me. I told her, taking the fantasy seriously, that there's a good chance I would give into my denial desires and, yes, I'd probably tell her it was okay to do so.

Much as I was pleased at her response, in a contradictory way, I don't think it's something I would want her to come home and surprise me with such as in, "oh yeah, Robbie did my butt tonight".

Should I take comfort knowing from her answer that she would involve me in the decision to give herself this way to him?


Last night went as anticipated! I've come to really enjoy our Wednesday 'ritual' of our open discussions and of my masturbating while she encourages and watches appreciatively!

After Suzanna fell asleep I, despite cumming twice with her, tossed and turned for a while listening to her sleeping so peacefully but as I lay there I came to a realization.

I realized that Suzanna has, at least in my head (and I don't mean this in a degrading way) become that prostitute that I looked in on way back at that college frat pledge party. It's weird to think that maybe that experience formed my current desires. It was an incident I always knew influenced me strongly and maybe that's where my excitement originates. I can so remember standing there in the hallway 35 years ago staring at the scene unfolding before me, but I didn't participate back then.

I don't know if this explains anything but I surely also don't want to tell Suzanna that in my head she's a hooker!


I honestly don't know what to expect from her regarding next steps after Robert. I'd like to think that she wouldn't be so shallow as to select a lover based on the size of his cock but then again she has been spoiled and it actually seems totally appropriate!

I do know that she's not one to fuck just anyone. As I've previously mentioned, even in her promiscuous days past, she'd only fuck guys she truly liked and would want to see again so there will have to be a bit more of an attraction than just a bigger cock. Put another way, he could be the most handsome chiselled guy with a big package but, if it doesn't click with her, I don't see it happening not in the sense of finding someone for a longer-term thing.

That said, I could also see her lowering her standards depending on how long it takes to find the right guy. I do not believe she'd ever look for someone 'smaller' so that she could do anal with him. Since our fantasy talk she's never brought it up again and I do think it was in context with my recalling her past experience from college.

I think after what she's enjoyed with Robert, that she'd not want someone 'less endowed'. Anyway, I accept that she's actually not really into anal. As I said, we tried it a few times and I even got in there once and came in her but she said it was more painful than pleasurable and we never tried it again.

In the toy collection we do have a smaller dildo and a small 'plug' both of which we use as well as my fingers sometimes but all are quite a bit smaller than me, no less Robert. She isn't always into it though actually it's very infrequent. I will tease her at times, if I'm behind her doggy-position, and I'll rub around and even push my fingers in. She'll cum a lot of the time when we first get into it but she always wants me (or the toy) out by the time we really get to fucking. I've always thought that because I'm pretty big, and Robert even bigger, that maybe it's just not that comfortable for her.

We used to have these anal beads (not really beads but similar in shape) - those would drive her crazy, especially if we'd get to fucking and I'd pull them out of her slowly. I think it was more the general sensation than the plunging/thrusting motion of them that aroused her.


She still quite enamoured and positive about what I'd shared with her. She told me several times how the openness that we seem to feel with each other is really amazing both of us. She used the word 'connected' several times to describe how she feels about me and us right now' and in a way it surprised both of us to know we were feeling the same way in light of what we're doing.

She shared that she still feels incredibly sexually aroused at what we're doing. She admitted that at times she did miss feeling me in her and feeling/sharing those moments with me but she always immediately says afterwards that those feelings weren't frequent and she enjoys telling me that, "all the rest of the time it turns me on that it's just for Robert" (meaning her pussy).

With each thing she'd say, she almost always asks me, "how does that make you feel?" or "what does that make you think about?”

Thing was it just felt good, and I mean really good, to be able to answer her. It was a little awkward at first but I did soon tell her that I loved thinking about her feeling his cock pushing into her and that I loved thinking about what he was feeling and what he was sharing with her. I told her that it turned me on to think about his big cock being so deep inside her and when he cums deep inside her "that's where I used to be". That remark made her squeal.

Another time she wanted me to tell her how I felt and what I was thinking about it being 'Roberts’s pussy' or 'only just for Robert'. (She reminded me that it was me that called it 'Roberts Pussy'). I told her what I've said many times, that every time I see her that all I can think of is that she spreads her legs and shares herself bare with just him. I think she was almost as turned on as I was hearing and talking like we were. She cooed back at me about how I felt about it being like 6 weeks now since I've cum in her pointedly adding, "knowing he's cum in me probably 30 or more times?". It turned me on so much to tell her, "it sounds like it really his 'his pussy'".


We've arranged to go away for a 'fall foliage' weekend. Our son is coming home from school that weekend and will look after the house and his sister. I'm excited as it might be that I'll go condom-less over that weekend, especially in light of last night's talks.


She really worked me up for my first orgasm last night by pushing me with the time and number thing. She slid up next to me and really laid it on about it being 'his pussy' and how much he fucks her and how much she cums with him but what really got me off the first time was her talking about that it will be almost 8 weeks when we go away since the last time I fucked her bare. That got me really close as I know it's been a while but hearing that number and thinking that it's 2 months.

Damn, that just made my cock throb and what got me to erupt all over, even to her own squealing too, was her telling me that, "by then, baby, he'll have cum in me more than 40 times". Just hearing her say that and thinking about just how much cum that it, well, that did it, I arched my back and stroked out a powerful orgasm with the first two spurts or so almost reaching my chin. Hearing her sexy moan as I did so really made it an intense moment.

There are some nights when I'm just so-so on helping her clean me up but not last night. Like I said, I just feel so much closer and more comfortable with her that when I felt her fingers scooping my cum together I leaned up a little bit and watched her have fun. It felt really erotic to suck her fingers clean while we both sort of looked in each other's eyes. She moaned and even closed her eyes when I lingered running my tongue up and down between her fingers.

As she enjoyed herself she started to tell me again just how horny it made her seeing me cum and seeing my cum all over. Again she said as she rubbed her fingers together spreading my sticky semen how horny it made her that I didn't cum in her. Even though I'd just cum I felt my cock throb as she talked like that.

She looked up and then moved up to kiss me and she again she made a mock apology to me as she told me just how horny and turned on it made her to know that I'm not cumming in her. She said that, "seeing your cum all over like this just turns me on." As she looked at me she said, "I can't believe it turns me on like this but it does baby". All I could do was moan and struggle to answer her.

As she finished cleaning me up a bit more she must have seen my cock start to respond to her whispers. She told me again how sometimes she'll feel his semen dribble out and she said that sometimes she'll be so lost in the feeling that she'll find herself rubbing her legs together and even sometimes giving herself a mild orgasm.

When I was able to, I told her that those thoughts were so erotic and arousing to me. I told her that knowing she had his cum in her so much really turned me on. She came up next to me and kissed my neck and told me how wonderful I was, "letting me do this stuff". I managed to tell her that if it didn't turn me on I wouldn't want her to do it. She giggled and said, "but you're so horny thinking about it, aren't you....”

Before I knew it she'd reached down and started to stroke me herself. My cock ached after having just cum like 15 minutes earlier but the more she talked, the harder it got. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to cum a second time but the more she talked, the harder I got.

Her whole demeanour changed a bit, she took on much more of a teasing, taunting stance. She was stroking me and started to talk to my cock saying, "does he miss feeling my silky pussy?" and then she looked up at me and said, "I love you using condoms baby" and as she continued stroking me she kept going telling me, "mmmm and I haven't felt you either.. " and then she looked in my eyes and said "but, oh, do I feel Robert!"

She asked me once again, "tell me how it feels to put that condom on?". I moaned and told her that knowing her pussy was full of his cum and that I all I could feel was her feeling so slick and open but not feeling her pussy was incredible.

She whispered for me to continue and I let myself go and told her I loved knowing that she wasn't feeling my cum in her and how much that thought turned me on. That made her moaning louder as she encouraged and teased me on. She put my hand on my cock and told me how she loved feeling my hot cum in the condom and she really turned on the teasing when she said that, "mmmm, you know only Robbie's stuff does that to me".

I was stroking away and I told her how horny it makes me to open the condom package and put it on. She giggled a little and said, "I know; I can tell when I watch you".

I told her that it turned me on to think about what I was doing and that looking down and seeing that she's still wet from Robert drove me crazy. She cooed and told me to tell her more.

I told her that when I put the condom on I know in my head that I am really giving her to Robert. She smiled at that and it seemed to get to her and she let out this low sexy moan. She looked at me and said that she felt the same, that seeing me do that 'for her' turned her on incredibly and she said she can feel her pussy get wet and even pulse a bit as she watches me.

I was really into it as she leaned over and told me with the most sexy voice that, "I cum just as much as when Robbie fucks me bare when I feel the condom on your cock push into me". She said that when she can feel the thin latex pushing into her and she knows that its covering my cock that it drives her crazy and that when she feels me deep in her knowing that I'm wearing a condom, she says that she has really intense orgasms. I moaned back at her that I knew that as I could feel it even through the condom.

It was how she described she felt seeing me pull out of her afterwards that ultimately brought me to my second orgasm last night. She made it seem like it was the most beautiful thing, seeing that shiny wet condom-covered cock pulling out. I told her that it turned me on too and she asked me to tell her about it and I told her that seeing my cum in the condom and knowing what I was denied feeling only made me want her even more; knowing what she feels and shares with Robert just drove me crazy.

She giggled and said she can tell from how big and hard I feel and how forceful I am with her. She said how she would sometimes even orgasm a little herself as she picks up and holds the condom full of my semen. It may not sound like something so intense but it was the way she said it that pushed me over. I think it even surprised her at first but as I stroked she got the most beautiful smile on her face. I didn't cum nearly as much that second time but in a way it felt even better than the first time. It felt weird sharing that moment knowing what else it represented, an affirmation that I wanted all of this just as much as she did.

She leaned onto me and kissed me really passionately, hugged me (being careful to not roll onto the cum on my stomach) and as closely as she could whispered that she loved me so much. A second later she let go and suddenly giggled and said, "okay, let’s get you cleaned up". She swept the smaller amount of cum into a puddle as she moaned gently and as she said how horny it gets her to, "play with your stuff and not have it in me". She brought 2 fingers dripping wet with my cum up to my lips and as I moved up to lick at them she brought her mouth to mine and we shared them together. She pulled her fingers away and we shared a snowball for a moment. She giggled as she pulled away from me and said, "that's really erotic doing that with you and, you know, knowing all we said....”

I think back and from how she sounded saying some of what she'd said, that I think she was masturbating herself, either with her other hand or maybe just rubbing her legs together, I wasn't sure.

After we had cleaned up we lay together and watched a little more TV before she seemed to fall asleep effortlessly. I was still wired and while I lay there my mind raced and once again I went back to the realization I started with, that in my mind, she's that hooker from the fraternity party and I'm one of the guys using a condom with her while others aren't.

And she wonders why I'm so horny for her all the time.... I could go off again right now!


She’s going out with the after-work crowd tomorrow and, yes, Robert will be there. She's planning on going back to his place afterwards.


Suzanna mentioned that Robert is seeing his new lady over the weekend and she seemed to think it indicated an escalation in their relationship. She joked with me that she'll know when he's becoming sexual with his new lady as she expects that to be when he tones it down with her. Something she's obviously aware of and is watching for.


Our ******** is a somewhat immature teenager who is embarrassed at the drop of a hat. She did hear us one time and Suzanna found her upset afterwards. In many ways she's a total throwback to when Suzanna and I grew up; she's very naive and definitely inexperienced about many things and just isn't ready to know that mom and *** have passionate sex together. I'm sure she's heard us on some nights when we were trying to keep it quiet given the next morning would be incredibly awkward when we met.

Surprisingly, Suzanna is somewhat shy in this way. Many times she'll close the windows because she's worried the neighbours might hear us (I love the thought of them hearing her screaming out in pleasure). It's different when we are around people she knows or when we are away in a hotel when she will be as loud as she can be. One time when we did it at the swing-club she also wasn't shy about crying out.

We all have our quirks and I admit too that I find it harder to let go at times too if I let myself think that way too. I know that I find myself self-conscious over how hard I will fuck her because of the noise the bed will make with each thrust. With forced-hot air heating, the vents allow sound to travel in ways and to areas of the house that would surprise you.

Maybe after our ******** has been away at college and will have experienced a wide range of things her attitude could change. Right now, it's not a good thing!
*******

Suzanna was very animated this morning and fluttering and fussing around the bedroom. She hasn't resumed wearing panties all the time so it was a pleasure to watch her after her shower as she stood naked in the bathroom and as I slid by behind her to take my shower. I can't fully explain the arousal I feel seeing her naked like that and knowing she'll be with Robert later tonight. It's a crazy feeling to love to think about that.

I can't fault her though for as she got dressed she did finally respond to my continual staring at her. She came over to me, still topless, and let me feel her breasts and suck at them for a moment. Then she kissed me and said, "let’s stay up late tonight when I come home and we can have some fun, okay?"

So now it's my turn to be up all day in eager anticipation of having her tonight.

And writing down that thought has completed this book and it needs to join the others on the bookshelf. Time to dig out a fresh one.