Journal of a Journey - Book 53

We're back home again and Suzanna turned in early tonight but not before we'd had some more 'us time' this evening as both kids took off (our son back to college and our ******** over her boyfriend's house) leaving us time alone to talk.

Still first up, now I have taken a new, fresh journal from my store, I ought try to recall and record the back end of our vacation.

Friday night was a night to remember. As we'd done most of the week, we took a bottle of wine out to the beach and some towels to sit on. The full moon rising was really beautiful but what was most memorable was us having pretty passionate sex out on the beach just by the dunes out of sight unless you were someone walking down the beach looking our way. We were quite alone but I did tease Suzanna that, "there are those 2 guys walking up the beach towards us" which got her all concerned and she got up on her elbows to look around. Her response was more what she did rather than what she said for her pussy was much more telltale because for the first few seconds I felt the obvious reaction, a noticeable squishing sound as I pushed into her and the most intense feeling as her pussy gently squeezed on my cock deep in her. Even as she looked around I could feel her body still responding until she sort of punched me and said something to which I responded, "you'd like that, wouldn't you".

She giggled and said something that included me 'having thirds' before we really seemed to both just get into some intense fucking. She didn't cry out as we didn't want to raise any attention but she had to fight against it and I think that got her even crazier! We both knew it would be our last time while we were away and there wasn't any doubt for either of us where I was going to cum again. Afterwards she pulled her t-shirt back on and then looked up and down the beach and when she felt the coast was clear, she ran bare-assed down to the water and went in and splashed around to clean herself up rather than make a bigger mess on the towel than there already was!

Then it was all over and come morning it was time to come home.


Last night we were both just beat from the trip and we just did a quick pizza dinner and everyone crashed early ... but tonight!

Like I said, we had a lot more alone time and we were most definitely still in vacation mode so talking was still really easy. It was actually her that started it, she said that the trip had been great in all ways including that she thought we'd made a lot of progress together and that she was genuinely relieved that we fell back into place so easily. She confessed that she was actually much more concerned about me than she was about herself.

Then she came right out and asked, or rather told me, "are you okay with what we talked about ... you know ... condoms?”

I nodded and said, "I meant what I said, that if this is something YOU want then I'm willing to go along with it." Then I laughed out loud and said, "like I told you, it's been much better and different than I thought".

Well, that led to us talking about it a bit more openly. She came over to me, held my hands, looked at me and told me that if it didn't do something meaningful for her that she'd never ask for such a thing.

Suzanna thinks his divorce was sometime around September/October last year. She said he doesn't like to really talk about that time and she's told me that he had a hard time through the holidays that year, something she says she's pushing him a bit to talk about because that time of year is coming up. I didn't really ask more, it doesn't sound like she knows much more than that.


She (actually we both) played up that after tonight she'd like me to start using condoms with her again. She said that I should enjoy feeling her pussy one last time with my cock. In turn I asked her if I could feel her bare at times if I promised not to cum in her. She teased me back that might work but that I'd better not break my promise or she'd have to punish me.

I didn't push that any further but was surprised at her forwardness with her responses. (Also I didn't push any further because I was getting into it too much and wanted to make it last!)

The intensity was up even without our banter but in the end she did tease me that I'd 'better enjoy it' and enjoy it I did. She let out a squeal as we both came within seconds of each other before collapsing together.


Last night after we started talking she said that she's been letting herself think about things that she never would have before. It began weeks ago before our big conversation that seemed to have opened things up between us. She said that in the heat of passion she'd say things to Robert that she'd later be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about, like a gang bang or having sex with strangers or whatever. She admitted that it made the sex between them hotter. At times she said he would stop fucking her all of a sudden and 'make' her talk or say something. She says mainly he enjoys hearing her ask to be fucked harder or deeper, at other times she says he's done what we've done, talk about it in the present and not in the abstract where both of them will tell how he feels and what she's thinking.

She said though that the talking isn't the big thing, it's more that in the last few months, she's realizing a lot about herself and recognized that there have only been a few times in her life where she let her desires out. Like when she went on the pill as a teenager and everyone assumed it was because she was or would be sexually active, and she said that back in college again after her divorce where she said quite candidly, "I slept around a lot that year".

She continued and said that it's only now, that again, she is feeling like she can let these repressed fantasies/thoughts/desires out. She looked at me, held me tightly and said that, "it's because of you; because of how you've been with me throughout these past few years that I feel like I can share this with you a bit more.

I was honest and told her that I knew this part of her was in there, how I could see it come out at times and how I could see her being with other guys helped her want it for herself. I told her that as long as she wanted it for herself that it was something I'd always be happy about.

It seemed like a logjam had been broken free. She looked at me and said, "it makes me feel slutty to only have my lover cum in me". She said it just like that, in total seriousness.

She blamed me too for giving her the idea, saying this wasn't what she'd thought about when all of this started, that she'd 'behave like a slut and enjoy it!'. She said that in a deadpan voice but seemed to then give a start and immediately pulled me close and said she loved me and thanked me for letting her get this out of her.

I did ask her what she thought was in store for the future and at one point I joked with her, "will I be arranging a gang-bang anytime soon?".

She giggled and punched me my arm, "no silly. That's the point, it doesn't have to happen for me ... er ... for us to enjoy it!”

I sensed she wanted me to hear something else in what she said. I heard 'just was while she didn't want it to happen it didn't mean it wouldn't happen'. So in my head, anything goes!

She changed the subject (slightly) and said again that's she's now feeling what she thought she could only feel if she had the proverbial 'affair'. In my head I filled in the blanks in what she said and paraphrasing a bit that when she had thought she wanted to 'fall in love' with Robert and do the whole affair thing, that she thought that would be the only way to experience something that she thought were her desires. She said that she felt like she was holding back and just needed 'Mr. Right' to unlock for her. She admitted that Dan was close to being that person as he made her see that she did have desires.

I guess she saw my reaction to hearing her mention Dan and she quickly came back to say that it's been my acceptance and my willingness to open up myself that now lets her feel like she could do what she wants. She looked at me and said that before she never felt she could tell me if she fantasized about things like a gang-bang or getting pregnant from Robert even though she thought/knew they'd turn me on; she just never felt she could open up about it. She held my hand and said that my admission that it turned me about not cumming in her on myself is what made her realize she could do and then tell me about anything.

It all seemed surreal to me and I told her, "you sound like a guy with these thoughts" and that I'd never thought that maybe my own desires had become hers too over these years of my and subsequently become mutual for us.

She said that she'd never let herself admit to thinking about it but now that she'd said it, she felt like that "we can have fun with it".

She knew that I was 'okay' using condoms with her and the conversation continued with her tease, "knowing my pussy is just for my lover's cum is a massive turn-on."

She seemed almost intoxicated when she saw that I found arousal in hearing that. That triggered an intense time fucking her just after that.


Last night we resumed our 'Wednesday regular schedule programming' and she made it clear that now that she is home and is seeing Robert again, that she would very much like me to resume using condoms with her.

Since our last talk she was much more animated and open about it and said many times that it 'touches her' in a way she'd never expected to feel when she thinks that within our loving marriage, that she only wants her lover to cum in her. She shared that any time she thinks about it or feels anything sexual, she giggled and said, "it must be what you feel at times, that you just get turned on by thinking about it".


What I am feeling, especially after last night, is that she is enjoying the freedom she seems to be feeling right now. She seems sort of like a kid in a candy store which is a bit of a surprise but then again it explains a lot of what I saw and remember from so long ago when at times, like on vacations and such, where I'd see a glimpse of that side of her. Now, she's apparently accepting that she has had these thoughts simmering under the surface all along.

Some of it has become clearer, she's tried to explain how it makes her feel to 'know' that me, her husband, doesn't cum in her. She says that us doing this now (or not doing it!) after almost 30 years together, it makes her feel incredibly sexual and incredibly horny to know that she only wants her lover's cum to be in her. She said that she knew I enjoyed some aspects of this but that it is truly her own desire that has led her to, now openly, ask me to do so.

I asked her if I'd spurred this desire in her through my own thoughts but she said no. She said that while we both seem to enjoy the results, that she knows the feeling is rooted differently in both of us; she knows that I am aroused by the denial aspect of it but she says that it isn't denying me that turns her on.

It took me a little bit to understand this but she says that she's not turned on by denying me, but more that she is only having him. I understood what she meant and her putting it that way made more sense to me. I said, "so it'd turn you on to only have him even if we didn't have sex at all"


She hasn't spoken specifically about when things may cool with Robert. If anything, she is somewhat deferring to him since, as she admits, she's quite content with things right now! However, I do see things that are different. For instance, she didn't run over there on Monday despite obviously knowing he'd have wanted her then. Another one is that she is not seeing him till tomorrow (not tonight) and I'm thinking that the time we had together while we were away may also have affected her.


Regarding whether I could, in a way, exercise a safe-word and ask for her bare, I'm actually more convinced that I could. Mainly because of the type of response I had from her when I did not ask for it when we were away right away. I think of how she reacted to my accepting her desires that I really do feel they'd be reciprocated should I ever really need it.

I don't think we've returned to whether I now need to be 'invited' to have sex with her. I know that come tomorrow night and over the weekend, that I expect to resume what I'd think are more normal sexual relations with her including my seduction of her if necessary!

Then again, with her new desire to openly embrace and 'have fun' with some of this more explicit type of sex stuff I'm not sure that any seduction will be required but I expect to have fun exploring it all this weekend.

We will be going away in October for the fall foliage as well as birthday and anniversary celebrations. My expectations are that will be when she will want me bare again. It still feels strange, almost weird, to say that I don't think I'll mind using condoms till then.


Last night we both enjoyed our newfound openness with each other. She asked and I felt comfortable talking about it and it actually felt good to talk to her. I told her that I understood her arousal with me not cumming in her and that I was thinking about it as I masturbated with her last night. She cooed and wanted to hear me tell her more. The lights were dimmed and again, I more talked at the ceiling than at her but I told her that it turned me on that she only wanted Robert to cum in her. I told her that I knew that was why she'd enjoyed watching me masturbate going back many many months now. She giggled and said that over time she'd really come to like watching me especially the part when she'd hear me moan and then watch me coax my cum out. I told her that with her admission that it made me even hornier to know that she didn't want me to cum in her.

Obviously the subject of condoms came up and she asked me to tell her how I felt using them with her. I told her that it turned me on to know what she was asking me to do and that when I roll one up onto my hard cock that it makes me even harder knowing why I'm doing it. I told her that I missed feeling her bare but then said that using condoms was nowhere near as bad as I'd remembered and that the knowledge that I couldn't touch the inside of her pussy with my cock was something that made me insanely horny.

She smiled at me and said, "I bought you some more ... they're in the nightstand". Damn if that didn't really push me, that she'd gone out already and bought them.

As her part of the conversation she told me how erotic and sexual she feels when Robert cums in her and how when she feels his semen wet between her labia later on; how it turns her on to know that only Robert is cumming in her. She did tease and taunt me that, "he's cum so much in me now" and she proceeded to recap that he'd cum in her some 20-30 times since the last time I'd had her bare.

She asked me what I thought and felt about that and I was honest, I told her that it turned me on that his semen was coating the inside of her pussy so much and that I often thought that, "it doesn't all leak out and how it turns me on to think of your body absorbing his cum".

Wow, did that make her squeal. I also told her that in my head, as his semen had his hormones in it that the more they fucked therefore it was logical the more she wanted him only to cum in her.

She was quiet before telling me that I wasn't wrong and she reminded me that she'd already told me that; that as she felt more attraction towards him the more he was the only one to cum in her. She even told me that she'd sometimes thought that was what had led her to finally open up, the effect from having just his cum in her. I swear, I did not prompt her to say this stuff.

I told her that knowing she was carrying his cum in her almost all the time was something that made me horny every time I look at her. She coaxed me, "tell me more" and I told her that lately whenever I looked at her that all I could think about was his semen seeping out of her wet pussy. She giggled and said, "... and you wouldn't be wrong a lot of the time".

We talked about her wearing panties around the house and she asked me if it turned me on. I told her in no uncertain terms that not seeing her pussy when she was intimate with Robert really heightened my arousal especially if I knew how wet she was beneath them. She asked me if that was the only time she 'should wear them', after she'd been with him, and I said honestly to her that it was ultimately up to her but that it did turn me on to be denied sight of her pussy for most of the week until the weekend.

She giggled and cooed back, "we'll see but maybe I'll give you some surprise peeks or more" and she hinted at how, "sometimes I still want you to take care of me" (meaning licking her).

She started to tell me how she loved to spread her legs apart and, "give myself to him" and hearing that really began to push me close to my first orgasm with her. She said what she's said about all of her lovers once she's comfortable with them, that she loves to, "let him see all of me" and she admitted that doing so makes her feel like she is 'more his'.

All this conversation really got my balls in a boil and hearing her tell me of giving herself to her lover and her gush about how deep and hot his cum is when she feels it inside her, well, that was it. A moment later I moaned and she knew what was coming. She leaned down closer to my rapidly moving hand and moaned, "let me see your cum". A second later I erupted and a little bit landed on her face which caused her head to jerk back ... but she never moved away!


It was 2:30pm when I got home from work and I learned that Suzanna had left her work at 1pm and I soon figured that she must be with Robert right now. My cock hardened up just as I thought about that.

Having a little time on my hands it gives me a bit of time to think about things. Without being too full of self-congratulation I have to, in some ways, pat myself on the back. It's taken 4+ years but she's come to where I'd wanted her to be or, rather, more that she's accepting the things that I always knew were under the surface. I admit it is quite erotic to fantasize openly with her about more and more explicit sexual things but having her respond so readily and more importantly, just as explicitly, I'm finding it such a weird thing to actually experience.

I don't know how other cuckolds feel but there are many times when I think that what I like or am enjoying is just too bizarre. There is reality and the reality is that I like that she is fucking Robert; I like knowing he's filling her pussy with cum. It seems crazy but it is all I can think about when I look at her, that her most intimate places are filled with another man’s cum. Even now I have my cock out and I'm stroking away with one hand while trying to type with the other! I am just consumed by these thoughts and knowing that she spreads her legs for other guys.


It isn't always easy to talk as openly but she really does make it easy to tell her stuff. I confess I'm still not totally comfortable with baring my soul to her. Yes, I still have some depraved thoughts but there's something in me that makes me feel awkward at times. However, having said that, when she does respond in kind and will coax it out of me, as she enjoys doing on Wednesdays, then I do have to say that it feels incredible to not only be able to tell her weird stuff but to know that she'll go along with it and not feel offended or disgusted.

I don't know of her plans for Monday yet, she may be planning on a rendezvous of some sort. She's said she'd be home by dinnertime tonight so I'm sure I'll find out more then.


I noticed a new box of condoms has appeared in her nightstand and, as I promised her, I'll certainly be using them this weekend. Strangely, that thought is arousing to me!


It's kind of consuming my thoughts that she's with him right now and I can clearly imagine her in a variety of positions.....


She texted that she'd be home by 5:30pm (only 15 minutes now) so I'm quite excited. Thinking about it has prompted me to come back and note down one more thought which is, that even after all this time it still turns me on to no end to know what she's doing; knowing she's driving home right now to come home to me, her pussy obviously full of cum and all, and being still turned-on to know what she's doing and that I still eagerly want her to come home. It just makes me feel so good knowing it.


I'll be confirming with her this weekend that we will making a return to what had been our normal routine of her and I just having sex over the weekend. It will be just as it was with Ray and Dan that after she's been to see Robert that she'll be teasing me in various ways (panties?) during the time between. The only, obvious, difference is that in this return to normalcy she's asked me to continue using condoms with her.

I tell myself I should be horrified by this given the bad memories of using condoms long ago but now I find myself wanting to use them with her so that, in a way, I'm preserving her as she wishes for their enjoyment. It's the last part that I think does it for me, that this time, it's truly what she wants and it is such a turn-on to play with her with it like we are.

I wonder how this would have played out with Dan had I been this receptive to using condoms, whether that might have changed things and whether she might still be with him. She still speaks of him at times in terms of what he seemed to bring out in her even before she was ready to accept it.

With that same thought, I will also say that I do not know how all of this would have worked out for me had this been something Robert had made her do and not something she truly wanted for herself. I don't know that I could have accepted that as a reason before and I will say that I am not sure if I could accept that in the future.


There’s been a subtle but noticeable change in Suzanna's attitude toward Robert since we returned. Perhaps a little less imperative in her desires with him. She isn't going to see him tomorrow but has said that she will definitely be seeing him on Tuesday.

Friday evening was tortuous at first with her arriving home by about 5:45pm as if she'd just come from work when I knew better. The kids were home and she kissed me as per normal but whispered, "hope you're ready for me later" so I knew I should bide my time. Fortunately, our son, who'd come home from college for the long weekend, took his sister out for ice-cream and to meet up with her boyfriend so we had the house to ourselves for a while.

There was no secret that she'd spent the afternoon with him but as soon as we were alone she teased me, "so, wanna go up to the bedroom?" with an almost sarcastic tone and she giggled when I told her, "hell yeah....” We kissed and she let me undo her top and unclip her bra right there in the living room and just as I was sucking her second nipple to hardness she moaned and pulled away and I chased her up to the bedroom.

She 'allowed' me the honour of undoing her pants and she smiled broadly when I pulled the pants off leaving her just with panties and a visible wet-spot between her legs. We both lay back on the bed and she told me, "you can have fun".... and then added " ... but stay on the outside, okay baby?" Oh god did that get me turned on.

As we kissed I ran my hand from her breasts to just the edge of the waistband of her panties and I think she thought I was going to go underneath but instead I whispered to her how it turned me on that she had these wet panties on and that was all that was in-between my hand and her sweet pussy.

She squealed as I rubbed her pussy all around and I could feel every nook and cranny through the taut wet cotton, even the lacy edges between her legs were dampened, but what really struck me was the smell as I rubbed her. I guess beneath the panties, her pussy must have opened up because the stretched material went from damp to wet very quickly and the smell of cum filled the air. She giggled as she felt me feeling all around until finally she said, "you can take them off you know." A second later as she felt me pulling at the waistband she said, "just.... you know.... like I said.... " and with that I moved up, kissed her and looked at her from only inches away from her face and said in the calmest voice I could, "I know baby, I'll leave it all inside you". Hearing me say that, she lifted her butt and I slid the wet panties off her.

The lights were on in the room (she hasn't cared about that in ages now) and what I saw made me catch my breath. Apparently they'd made up for lost time because her entire pussy was soaked and what little pubic hair she had left untrimmed was now matted down, but what struck me most was how her vagina just sort of gaped open a bit with the lips swollen and separated and, where I could see clearly inside her, the sticky mess inside just glistened.

She leaned up onto her elbows and said, "you wanna lick me a little?" and in one motion I moaned 'uh huh' and leaned forward to begin licking away at her. It tortured me to force myself away from sinking my tongue deep into her but she was very receptive to me tracing it around what I could now feel was the swollen opening to her vagina. As I ran my tongue around the puffy edges she moaned deeply and seemed to totally relax beneath me. I licked the flat of my tongue against the insides of her labia just edging the sweet centre that I was prohibited from entering. She moaned again as I folded the lips together towards one side and I ran my tongue all the way up until I just gently chewed at her swollen clit still in its hood. As I moved up the other side she put her hand against the back of my head and as I got to the top of the right side she pulled me tightly and I licked, sucked and gently nibbled at her clit until she moaned loudly and I felt her body tremble beneath me.

For as much as I'm sure Robert fucked her and cum inside, when she came under my tongue, I tasted more of her sweet juices than the tang of his semen. It was no matter, just the thought that I was licking the cum from her pussy that he'd fucked into it was incredibly arousing but tasting the unmistakeable sweetness of her cum was what really got to me. It told me that she still had more desire for passion in her!

I had a raging hard-on but the taste and sensation of licking at her pussy but not pushing into her, licking at what seemed to seep from her, was just incredible. I literally felt like I could have laid there all night, her fingers gently running through my hair and her encouraging me to keep going with her legs back and wide for me, but all the while telling me every now and then, ".. not in me baby".

Finally, I couldn't take it much longer. If I stroked my cock I feared I'd cum so instead I was rubbing it gently against the bed-sheets feeling it so hard and knowing that I needed to be in her soon. When I felt her come down from one more orgasm I knew it was my turn. When I pulled my face and head up she groggily opened her eyes and looked up at me. As I knelt there she looked down at my hands and a huge smile came to her face when she saw me unroll a condom over my cock.

I've sometimes wondered if it really turns her on or if she's just saying it. That Friday night, the look on her face as I pulled the condom fully into place, the way she just lay her head back, closed her eyes and smiled, well, let’s just say that it really left me no doubt that she loved that I'd do it for her and, as she'd said, that I'd do it without her asking or having to remind me. Of course, she now knows pretty clearly that it's something I get a perverse sense of pleasure from too.

I remember when I was younger that I'd sometimes put a condom on and my cock would go soft or wouldn't stay as hard. Not now, I can't explain it but I think my cock actually gets even bigger when I put the condom on! I think that she must think so too for all I can say is that when I pushed my cock into her wet pussy her eyes opened wide and she squealed and moaned, "oh god ... you feel huge!” and after a few moments of fucking she even leaned up onto her elbows to watch me fucking her and said again, "damn, you feel bigger than ever!”

Talk about an ego boost. I could even feel her pussy respond through the thin latex.

As we got into fucking I pushed her knees way back and I started really plunging deep into her. As I did, it seemed like a flood of wetness filled her pussy and all I could think in my head was, "oh, this is where all his cum is" way up inside her lubricating her pussy so it felt like silky butter as I plunged away.

These 'bare' condoms really let you feel it and I could not only feel how wet she was, how open she was, but also how hot it was so deep inside her. It was like lava in there and as it spread both of us could feel it and, wow, she started to thrash around beneath me. You'd never have guessed that she'd spent the afternoon just a few hours earlier having the same kind of intense sex but there was no mistaking it, she was cumming like a fountain beneath me.

She peaked one more time and suddenly her pussy seemed to go totally relaxed; finally give out. Maybe it was her feeling of being totally 'fucked out' but after that point, she was like jelly beneath me and while it certainly decreased the friction and feeling I had, at the same time, there can be no more intense feeling for me than for her pussy to go slack like that, like it's waiting for me.

I do wish I could have cum and filled her with my semen, I know that it felt like it boiled out of me as I came profusely in her pussy but, nonetheless, she made an effort at the end to tighten it up just a little and wow, that was how she felt as I pushed into her for the last two or three thrusts.

Afterwards we both just lay there together. I could feel her body beneath me, hot and sweaty and her pussy just felt like an empty glove, warm, wet and limp. She hardly moved as I got up to my knees but she did get herself up on her elbows as I pulled out of her and, my god, did she have a glow about her when she saw the tip of the condom was bulging and filled and how halfway up my cock there was cum all around it.

I lay back as she did the honour of removing the condom and I was pleasantly surprised when she leaned over and sucked my cock clean, however, I wasn't surprised when after she had made certain I was clean that she moved right up and snowballed with me!

After we lay back against the bed she held up the full condom in her hand and pulled me over onto her and kissed me passionately. She played with my cum in the tip of the condom for a second and then she looked at me and said, "thank you, I love you baby".

I was about to get out of bed when she coughed, "ahem?". It was my turn to giggle as she spread her legs beneath me and said, "you made me all messy again". I smiled at her playfulness and as I leaned forward to lick her pussy and thighs clean she giggled and again said, "thank you. I love sharing with you like this".

We didn't do anything last night but she's been hinting all day today that, "we should open that bottle of wine later....”


Last night was quite nice for both of us. She was quite into prolonging our foreplay and she giggled at how long she had me hard for before we got down to business.

We talked quite openly and she seemed much more at ease in sharing her thoughts. She said several times how wonderful it was that I was okay about using condoms with her and she even admitted that it's become a bit of a fetish with her that she wants to only feel Robert in her. She said several times how erotic and how incredibly sexual she feels all the time knowing what we're doing and said that many times she'll feel herself get wet 'out of nowhere'; that when she's showering or getting changed, that at times she'll put her fingers in her pussy and when she feels how wet she is, "knowing it's my lover's".

She almost seemed to cum just from telling me that and I'm guessing the worry she may have felt about me is now gone because she seemed to have no qualms about telling me how she feels. As we talked, she seemed very comforted when I told her that it made me horny just to look at her and think that she can feel his cum all slippery between her pussy lips. She giggled and asked me to tell her more.

I told her I feel we are riding on the edge of borderline denial. I told Suzanna that one of the things that turned me on to think about is that Robert gets to feel all of her and that it turned me on to continue to think of this stranger is now the only one to feel her pussy bare. I told her that it drives me crazy to know that she wants to do this but I also made no mystery that, yes, it turns me on immensely to think that only he is cumming her.

She cooed and was just so playful as I talked. She rubbed the bare head of my cock up and down between her pussy lips and taunted me that, "this is all you get to feel baby" knowing how turned on I was at the thoughts. At another point she pulled me close and told me how hot I was making her and how she wanted to feel me in her.

I told her again of how much it turned me on about what she is doing. She seemed to really be into hearing me tell it to her so as she rubbed the tip of my cock up and down she coaxed me to tell her more. I would pause momentarily with my cock poised at the wet opening to her vagina and we both knew that I could have easily leaned forward and pushed into her without any effort. It was my turn to tease and I almost pushed the head of my cock into her. Man, did she moan, but she squealed even more as I pulled it out and resumed rubbing it up and down.

I felt like I was almost in a trance, as if I was watching all of this from the other side of the room or something. She was moaning pretty loudly but it sounded like just a faint echo for a little while. All I could think about was how sweet her pussy felt and how, if I wanted more of it, that I needed to put a condom on. In my head it became like the most intense moment of it all. I pulled back for a moment and I looked at her and a really wonderful feeling spread over me as I looked at her pussy spread apart in all its glory, spread and wet from my cock rubbing up and down and bringing out whatever remained in her.

I know it's going to sound crazy but I have to say quite clear and loud that I truly enjoy her fucking him. Seeing her spread like that knowing and telling myself that I am voluntarily giving it up and giving this pleasure to her and, in turn, him. It's weird to really feel at that moment, putting on that condom and then having intense sex with her, knowing she's getting off on it too.

It feels good to give into something that seems so forbidden; it feels intense to have this increased desire of wanting my wife, maybe even more, because of what she's doing. Fucking her, even with the condom on, looking down at her naked body and knowing Robert enjoys her this same way, I don't fully understand it other than to say that it just turns me on so much.

I'll admit that at times I wonder, even think it might be true, if I'm living out some unlocked fantasy of mine through her. I know that I'd long joked but was serious that if in some sort of dream world I was a woman, I'd be the biggest slut there was! Am I, in a way, living this out vicariously through Suzanna? I've thought about it but that's the only thing I can think of that would maybe be some kind of crazy psych theory on what turns me on so much about her doing this. I'm a little surprised that she's said the idea turns her on too, so maybe it's just that.

I know that the whole scene has brought out a fire in her that's been simmering, I guess, for a while now. I haven't discussed with her anything else not about the future and not about denying me more, etc.


One thing I have thought about is asking her if I could maybe watch her once before things calm down between her and Robert. I will ask her but for the moment I want to wait and see what happens going into the fall season. We are both coming into a busy period at work before the holidays are upon us in just another 8 weeks or so but, yes, I've thought that it would be intense to put some true images to the visions I've long had. I don't think that either of us want something as 'public' as that was with Dan. She's mentioned that she doesn't like how she felt treating me that way in front of others.

Maybe I'll suggest Pictures; that would be something I could do as part of observing them.

I'll just close by sharing the thought that while this seems easy on the surface (and most of the time it is) I also have to say that I have never felt or have felt really threatened by anything she is doing. It sounds weird to say it but now, after 4+ years, dare I say it's not such a shock that she has sex with another guy. It sounds weird to say it, but it is the truth.

It turns me on that she does this (even just a momentary thought will throw me into arousal) and, at the same time, it no longer shocks me or surprises me. Of course that it's 'just Robert' combined with how supportive she is for me makes it a lot easier. I can also say that when she backed away from the deep-affair desire of hers, that it left me very relieved and heartened as going that far might have had a deeper impact on things.

Right now, in a way, she's still within the original bounds of things we'd discussed long ago . One of the criteria we both had on our marriage was how we dealt and respected each other and how we valued our time together as a sign of our contentment. I'm very content right now.


Well, she's gone off to bed earlier than me and told me that I should go and enjoy myself. So, I am here now thinking of how strange things are when I take the time to think about it from the more 'normal' perspective.

She did see Robert today and came home about 7pm. She needn't have rushed as neither of our kids were home; our ******** enjoying her last evening before school resumes and our son now back at college. She came bounding in with a beaming smile and had the tell-tale look on her face. I may have even detected a slight shift in her gait! To see her and the thought of what she was doing earlier gave me the most crazy feeling of pride and love for her.

She kissed me and said she was starving and once she realized no one else was home she regaled about how horny Robert had seemed. I joked with her that she's cut back on seeing him lately, from sometimes 3x a week to now seeming more like twice. Her reply was that it was something they both wanted. She said that while the sex is still incredible with him (her words) that they both admit that sometimes less is more. She kissed me again and said, "I'll take 2 times like tonight versus 3 of the others any time!". Then she hugged me, looked at me and again said, "thank you".

She then switched subjects and started to talk idly about her new work project and a bunch of other stuff but she noticed I couldn't focus and asked me what I was so preoccupied with.

I didn't really mean to be so bluntly but when she asked I was in the midst of a moment of sexual fantasy and desire for her and blurted out, " ... that you're probably full of his stuff right now".

She continued to talk for a little while longer and I thought that she hadn't heard me but then she stopped and was quiet for a second. She came closer to me and kissed me very passionately and said, "yes baby, I am ... " smiled and, " ... that's such a turn on, what you said". She reached down and felt my crotch and moaned, "Hmm, you're really hard ... " then matter-of-factly said, " .... can you wait till tomorrow night?".

This exchange took all of 15 seconds but it seemed like it was all in slow-motion and I know she felt my cock throb as she said it. A large, very knowing smile drew over her face and she said quietly to me, "maybe you can use another condom tomorrow night ... we'll see....”

We hugged and kissed again and this time I knew she could feel my hard-on against her body. She pulled back but I held her pelvis to mine and she smiled and said, "that's if you can even wait that long....” She giggled at the lump in my pants when I let her go and as she turned from me and walked up the stairs I called to her and said, "I love you".

She stopped mid-step and turned back and said, "me too".

A part of me wanted to follow her upstairs but with 'the rules' in mind I also knew she hadn't said anything nor made any motion to call me up to follow her so I left her and gave her the privacy she wanted. Instead, I went into the kitchen and pulled leftovers out of the refrigerator and began to put a meal together. A few minutes later she was back down just in a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. She smiled at me and pulled the shirt against her body and I could see the outline of her nipples when it pulled tight against her. I made believe by licking my lips and she came up behind me and hugged me and again said she loved me.

I really wanted to turn around and ask her to tell me how he 'ravaged' her but I held my nerve and didn't give way. In any case, my ******** came in just before 9:30pm and that sort of occupied the rest of the night with the 2 of them going through clothes for what she'll wear tomorrow for first day of her senior year in High School.

It was about 10:30pm when finally Suzanna came to our bedroom to watch some TV. She went into the bathroom and changed into her long t-night-shirt for bed after which it was my turn in the bathroom. I made straight for the hamper and, sure enough, there were her panties and the crotch was very wet. I was curious and picked them up thinking to give them a sniff. I didn't need to bring them to my face for as soon as I picked them up the smell was obvious. I stood there for a few minutes (or so it seemed) and all I could think about was the reality of what I held in my hands and the reality that my cock was stiff and throbbing at the thought of it. I know there are times I have doubts or second-thoughts but at that moment when I held her panties, knowing they were wet from her and Robert's tryst earlier, a deep seated arousal rose up inside me. I'd almost say that it was even more erotic finding confirmation that way than even having her flash or show me her pussy. I genuinely stood there getting more and more excited at just the thought.

I think she knew I was horny when I emerged a few minutes later and that was when she said I should go off to the den and have some fun if I needed to.


So here I am, horny and knowing I will not be able to sleep until I have some relief. What's even more crazy is that thinking I may get to have sex with her tomorrow night with a condom; it's very intense.

I can't say it's exactly what I was hoping for when I said that I wanted to push things a bit more with her but I keep remembering that she said, "it's just a different kind of denial" and she's right. I do very much miss feeling her bare pussy and the feeling of filling her most intimate place with my semen but at the same time I am going to go out on that limb again and say that it is incredibly satisfying, perhaps more-so in some ways as feeling her bare gives me a very physical sense of fulfilment. Merging her desires and denial together through a condom, it's weird, but it seems to fulfil me both physically and mentally. That my wife would essentially give herself to her lover and deny me that same pleasure is intensely satisfying and now with less frequency it is also much more intense when we do have sex now. It's weird but she even seems to respond more fully and deeply too.

Writing the above has given me a strange sense of desire right now. I have the intense urge to strip off, put on a video and stroke away but, at the same time, I know I must stem the desire and let it build till tomorrow. I shall now put down my pen, close this journal and walk away.


Despite a perverse desire to masturbate with/for her last night, I did not pass up the opportunity to have sex with her (yes, with condom!). After some very explicit teasing and taunting during foreplay I couldn't hide that it did turn me on to put it on.

She sucked me and asked me if I'd thought about how she sucks Robert's cock like she does mine. I know he's bigger than me and I'm pretty sure she knew what I'd be thinking. When we switched positions and it was my turn to lick her sweetness she initially told me to just stay on the outside as she's done in the past. Last night was slightly different, her only request was that I not 'suck it out of her'. Oh man did that turn me on, she was horny and it showed in how wet she still was and I sensed a still noticeable taste of his cum in her. I admit the thought that it was still there really got to me and I could feel my heart pounding as I thought about that.

She giggled as I knelt there between her legs with my cock absolutely throbbing at how I left her pussy looking from my licking, lips splayed back and her vagina open, glistening and pulsating in time with her breath. I struggled to pull the condom over my cock whilst knowing that I am being denied feeling her like that and before I pulled it down I asked if she'd let me push into her bare but pull out before I'd cum. She giggled and said she didn't think I'd be able to control myself but then said that maybe some other time we could try that.

It was as I pushed into her a few moments later that she asked, "would turn you on more; having to pull out?" I groaned loudly in her ear and neck as I felt my cock grow enormous, a second later she arched her back and, out of nowhere, had an almost violent orgasm beneath me. I pushed into her and held her deeply against me as she came down. The deep look in her eyes said it all. A moment later a big smile came across her face and she pulled her knees back for me and, even through the condom, I felt just how wet and open she was after that orgasm.

We must have fucked for another 15-20 minutes with her uttering short dreamy phrases at times in between moments of her rubbing her clit and pinching her breasts and then the moment of her eyes fluttering back in her head for her to have yet another orgasm.

I told her how intense she felt beneath me and how I loved what she was doing; what we were doing. She pulled me close and kissed me passionately and it felt awesome to feel the passion throughout her body with my cock still in her. I felt she had one more really good orgasm left in her as she again said how sexy she felt knowing what I was doing. I think she was surprised when I told her out loud that it turned me on to use a condom with her. I leaned down and lay against her and said in a quieter voice, "... it turns me on that you only want him to cum in you".

A second after I said that she moaned something I couldn't understand but I felt her pussy juice up and I just went for it. A few moments later she moaned again when I finally came deep in her pussy.

I have found that leaving a bit more room up at the tip of the condom is really nice, when I peak moment I swear it feels like my cock swells up even more (she has always said it feels that way to her too) and leaving a bit of room in there is so very nice!

After we both caught our breath I moved back up towards my knees but left my now softening cock still in her. She giggled, leaned up on one elbow and reached down with her other hand to guide my cock out of her pussy. She let out the sexiest moan when I pulled free and again as she slid off the condom and held it up. As she played with the bulging bag of thick whitish goo I reached down and gently felt her pussy. As my finger traced its way around and in between her pussy lips, when I gently drew it up the middle and spread her wetness up to her clit, she again arched her back and seemed to slide so easily into another orgasm.


She’s off to work already and already said that 'everybody' will be going out after work and hanging around, apparently it's an 'end of summer' event with everyone from work. She made it clear that she'd be going back to Robert's afterwards for a while.

I did ask her what time I could expect her home and she said, "by 10-10:30pm" and then added that she'd text me if she was going to be later than that. Our ********, was in the kitchen immersed back in schoolwork and seemed oblivious to everything but she had already told us that she'd be going over a girlfriend's house this evening. I wonder if she suspects anything but, then again, she sees Suzanna and me so happy together, so....?

It’s a beautiful evening here and no doubt that their after-work group will most likely be on the outdoor patio area at the bar they go to. I'm going to open a beer and enjoy the silence here before deciding what to do for dinner. I already planned on heading over a buddy's place later on so I just need to bide time till then.

I suppose she does have the best of both worlds. We've already talked about what we shall be doing this weekend. Not so much about sex but about doing some outdoorsy stuff. I'm cool with that for usually 'outdoorsy stuff' precedes good sex!. I know I am really enjoying this journey.


Sitting here right now, I guess it is a little weird that I don't really feel jealous or concern that she'll be with him again tonight. I was thinking back in my life to earlier relationships and in comparison I'd never have been able to deal with this. Maybe it is a harmonic thing; I trust her to value what we have together and to understand herself and she, in her way, respects me. She's mentioned it before and I suppose it bears true now, she's long said she knows what she's feeling ,which I suppose that came to light after Peter, and I think it surprised her when she recognized it and she's shown me first with Dan, then Ray and now Robert, that I can trust her in the way that I need to for us to both feel comfortable.

I know she's going to have sex with him tonight, probably multiple times. If I was 'normal' I should be cringing at that thought but instead, as a cuckold, I find it erotic and arousing. I know it to be true that one of the reasons I was attracted to her at the beginning was knowing she'd slept around a bit, knowing that she'd let many other guys fuck her. Now, to have it happen the way it is, it's something that seems to touch at the core of my desire for her.

I suppose, if we'd had a really rocky patch (and I know I was concerned at times when Dan was in the picture) that maybe I'd have a different attitude now but I held my nerve and now, years later, we are enjoying what's happened and what's happening. In this sense, damn, I love being a cuckold.


I wonder about her next lover. I am sure she has a certain type of guy in her mind now. To me she is far more responsive and alive with Robert than she was, except for a few short periods, with Ray. So I wouldn't say that she's so much looking for someone with a dominant streak as much as she's looking for someone who is more aggressive sexually. There’s no doubt she's obviously turned on by more well endowed guys so that would probably be a criteria for her. I think that's how she felt about Dan, that she liked his aggressiveness, but I don't believe she enjoys or desires any of the more stereotypical cuckold stuff. I see much more arousal in her by her own desires being manifested.

As far as a black guy as a possibility, I wouldn't say no, but I also don't see how it would happen given our social-circles and community. Maybe if it were a black guy from work or some work-related thing, that's a possibility but again, not sure how it would happen unless he approached her.

She's admitted she's curious (another thing she's accepting as her own desire and able to share it) but that's really all, it's not like it's some sort of intense desire or need on her part. I think it'd be interesting but the differences in the social-aspects would possibly present some sort of natural boundary to contain the relationship. Somehow, I can't see Suzanna falling for or running off with a black guy no matter what. I apologize for making that sound like a prejudicial or bigoted statement, it's not, just more that if it is unlikely to happen with a white guy, it'd be even more unlikely with a black guy.


I wonder what might happen if Robert decides he is comfortable with what we all have and decides not to move on. I suppose the situation would stay as-is until one of them tired of it. I do think it may be getting a 'bit old' for Suzanna as she seems to not show the same sort of enthusiasm about it as she has in the past. Could that be because of how we're sharing it all now and that is bring us more pleasure compared to before? I can’t say for sure but I do feel that there's been a change since we came back from vacation.

I'm not complaining, I love where we are right now and in fact, far prefer using condoms with her to outright denial which is quite an unexpected turn-on for me. It seems to fulfil many of my own desires and, just as she said it, gives me a different kind of denial. I do know that as the holidays approach, that things will become more difficult for them both so that will also be something that will perhaps influence things. Time will tell.


It's now 6:30 and I'm sure in another 2 hours or so my little wifey will be once again spreading her legs for her lover. I do find it incredibly erotic to think about, her laying back and sharing herself with someone who I've never met. It's a kind of a turn-on to think 'maybe I do know or have met him" and that someone I see could be fucking the life out of her. It's unlikely to happen but it is very arousing not knowing who is fucking her, to only know him by the semen he's left in her. Crazy!

I'd better put down the pen before my brain gets carried away. Right now hunger is keeping my arousal at bay.


How would I feel if Suzanna shared with Robert that she didn't let me come in her, that I had to use Condom with her? Would her sharing such a confidence turn me on more, piss me off, or wouldn't matter to me at all? I suppose it would depend, to me at least, on how she portrayed it to him. I think if Suzanna shared with him that it turned her on that I was doing it for her it might be arousing for me. I don't think it'd piss me off unless she was belittling me or somehow putting me down as a part of it.


No surprise that at 17 years old, my ******** texted and left a message , "gonna sleep over - call you for pickup in the morning" Suzanna got that same text so she didn't rush home till well after 11pm.

I could see something was on her mind from when she came in. It didn't take long for her to share that the after-work gathering was bigger than usual because one person had announced that they were leaving and everyone was buying them drinks but there was another thing and as soon as she said it, I knew it had change the dynamics of her evening; she said there was a co-worker friend Mary, who announced when asked why she wasn't drinking, said she was pregnant. Suzanna said she could immediately see a change in Robert and she knew what was on his mind.

They did go back to his place and, as she joked with me, "he was horny, just a little distracted....” They talked more at his place with him saying playfully but with a bit of seriousness that he wished he could get her pregnant.

She joked back that, "you're welcome to keep trying" but then added that after all this time (and how much cum he's pumped into her over the months now) that if she wasn't pregnant already, it wasn't going to happen.

She said he shared something that she said she'd never thought a guy would say, that his 'biological clock' is ticking and that he didn't want to be in his late 40's or older when he was first having kids. She said they talked for a while, she shared with him some of her thoughts when we were going to have our kids and how she said she just knew she wanted to have my kids. (That really made me feel great as she said it more of a recap of what was going on than anything related to making me feel good at the time). She told me that she shared how she enjoyed us trying for not too long before she did get pregnant.

I remembered before she was pregnant with our first how she loved to lie back and let me take my time and cum really deep in her. She smiled and said she remembered it too and how it was the first time she truly 'wanted' it.

It was clear from the moment she came home that she didn't want to do anything with me. It became very obvious to me when she was telling me about the whole pregnancy thing. I wasn't surprised as I know this whole subject is a deep one for Suzanna as she has shared with me that at one point in her first marriage, before it abruptly ended, that she'd been trying to have a baby with her ex as she felt their relationship wasn't working. She admits that it's good that it didn't happen because how she felt with me is how she 'always knew it was supposed to feel'.

I admitted to her that it turned me on to think about her back then before me. (I didn't admit that I still had those really old polaroid pics of her really young that she thinks are long gone!). She held my hand and said that she and Robert played up those same kind of thoughts for a while as she encouraged him to, "pretend I'm ready for you". She had the good grace to blush a bit when she said she felt some of those same old feelings again as she lay beneath him or she knelt in front of him, how she let herself feel that desire to have his cum deep in her and she admitted that she let herself go with the thought of getting pregnant from him.

I told her that it was okay and joked that it's a good thing she wanted to wait till Saturday night for us because, "I probably would have hurt you!" I was so horny at how openly we were talking about this and she giggled as she gently felt the lump in my pants before I quickly pulled her hand away. I was horny enough as it was without her giving me any encouragement to melt my self-control!

She made this funny face, leaned forward and kissed me and then ran into the bathroom. She left the door open as she pulled off her pants and then pushed her panties down. As she held the washcloth to her pussy she turned her head and saw me looking. She smiled broadly and turned to face me and I could see her standing there naked from the waist down as she gently blotted and wiped away whatever was dripping out of her. She came back into the bedroom, smiled as she walked past me and said, "you'll have to wait baby." With that she opened her drawer and pulled on a clean pair of panties.

We lay there and talked and she said that yes, they'd fucked twice but she said that she could feel his mind was elsewhere at times. She giggled that, "only at the end did I know it was me he was thinking about". As we were sort of getting comfortable we continued talking and what she shared was that he really wants is to find a bride and have a ****** and that he says he's keeping his eyes open all the time. She told him back that the best things happen when you least expect them; she told him that as long as he remained open to seeing opportunities when they come up, that it'll happen for him one day.

She did say he asked her what she'd do if he did find someone he was interested in. She said that she'd give him his space but would be there to support him if he needed it. She said he joked back with her being a 'friend with benefits' kind of thing to which she retorted, "we'll see what works when it happens".


It's Saturday afternoon now and our ******** was at home but has now taken off for the rest of the day and again won't be home for dinner. Now that some of her friends drive, things are easier with her and we can let her do more of what she wants which obviously works well for giving Suzanna and me time later.

No talk about sex yet today other than her teasing me a little this morning about me 'getting to feel' her later tonight, a thought which has kept me horny all day.


She’s over at her parents right now. Apparently there's a bunch of yard and exterior work that needs to be done over there so she's there with her brothers to see what is what. Surprise is that her father was a bit more communicative today and in the past few days now that the weather is a bit cooler they've been bringing him outside during the daytime. I tell her to enjoy it while he's here.

Not much more to share other than I'm quite horny now and have already hinted to her that tonight I want her ... a lot. She giggled and said that she too wanted to feel me close to her.

It's really a weird feeling to be sitting here now thinking about what will happen later and confessing here that it actually is turning me on that I'm going to be using a condom or two with her later. She is just so responsive when she says she can relax and let her mind and desires go wild knowing that she will not have me cum in her. She says it must be like how it is for me to think of her, that it turns her on incredibly to be having sex with me but at the same time know what else she's doing, denying me. She says to her, it just turns her on to think about her pussy only being for her lover to cum in.

I've told her enough times now that it turns me on that I see she needs less and less reinforcement and reassurance that I am truly enjoying it. Who'd have guessed?


Our ******** cooperated again on Saturday night and gave us the time we needed to have our fun.

Suzanna asked me if I was concerned or upset or anything about the play-acting that she and Robert had done with the whole pregnancy thing. I told her that I very much understood what had happened and I told her that it turned me on a bit to think about them getting into it.

That seemed to put her more at ease and as we talked (and with the help of some wine!) she started obviously getting hornier. She asked me if we 'could have some fun with it' ourselves.

I was a bit uncertain about what she was suggesting until she said, "you remember that Penthouse Letters story" and instantly I knew what she was talking about. She giggled and said, "maybe we could sort of role-play and have some fun with it together." I don't know what month/year she's talking about was from but I recalled the letter was about a couple like us where the wife let her 'special friends' go bare in her but she asks her husband to use condoms with her. In the story it was the wife who intentionally wants to get pregnant from her lover.

I was a bit unsure at how we'd do this but she said, "it's just fantasy but will you play along like it's real; stuff like this gets me and Robbie really horny". I smiled and said, "sure, let’s try it out".

I'm sure finishing the first bottle of wine and opening the second did a lot to help ease things for us both. At first there was a tense quietness until Suzanna slid over next to me on the couch and kissed me and said, "baby, I need to talk to you about something".

I knew she was 'in character' so I went along with it and said, "okay honey, what's up?”

She snuggled up and proceeded to tell me something like, "well, you know how close Robbie and I are getting lately, right?" I nodded and she held my hands and said something like, "you know how I just want to 'be with' him for right now and I don't want your 'stuff' in me?".

I answered back a hesitant, "yeah" and knowing we were in character I listened with rising excitement as she continued to tell me, " ... I think I'm falling in love with him".

Seeing and feeling her really getting into the act made it easier for me to play along so I answered something like, "I know honey, I just don't want you to get hurt".

She played along with the story line for a few more minutes including telling me of how she considered him to be such a special guy and someone who she felt strongly about. I matched her telling her how sexy she seems and how he seems to be doing good things for her and for us and I complimented on how great our sex-life was even with me using condoms with her.

She talked to me like she has in the recent past and I was just as open with her as she was with me, her regaling on how wonderful Robert was in bed (I knew she was tossing in a little truth into our role-playing) and me telling her how horny it was that she was 'giving him' her pussy.

She giggled and said to me that it made her feel really horny to think about it being 'Robbie’s pussy' - and again the overlap between fantasy and reality was really making me horny.

She moved up close to me and said, "that's why I have been thinking for a while about how to ask or tell you this?".

I held her hand and, in keeping up with the act, asked her, "tell me what baby?”

She hugged and kissed me and then said, "I want to ask you something and I want you to think about it before you answer me".

I gulped and even held my breath as if what she was saying was truly for real instead of just within our fantasy for Saturday night. She even played up that this was hard for her to ask and said, "I don't want to hurt you or us but I feel something for Robert that I haven't felt in a long time".

I admit it seemed very real and I had to keep telling myself it's just a fantasy we're sharing in order to stay in character but it was obvious that both of us were getting horny as if it were the real thing. It was her turn to take a deep breath and she continued, "I want to give him something and I want to be sure about us before I tell him".

I knew in my head what she was going to say but it seemed so real that I played along and led her to it. I told her, "baby, there's nothing I won't do for you - what is it?"

She held my hand tighter again and said, "it's not something small ... but I think I want to do it". She kissed me and then, with a little nervousness in her voice, she said, "I've been thinking about having a baby with him!”

I know it was just our fantasy/role-playing but, damn, she was good and didn't it feel real! I gulped (even in fantasy or even if she was just reading the story out loud) hearing her say that really got to me. I told her, "wow that's a big step....." and that brought us to having a very intense, if totally contrived, conversation about her getting pregnant from him.

We didn't talk about 'the baby' or anything in that sense, what we did role-play was the whole interaction between us.

She was talking so openly and, wow, it really was turning us on. She told me how she wanted to check the calendar and find out when she was most fertile and she asked me to tell her what I thought of her 'not using my diaphragm then'. I told her that she was already taking him bare most of the time and I asked her if it turned her on that she was taking a risk like that at times already. She giggled (I don't know if she'd been ready for me to answer and further the fantasy a bit more) and played right along with it that she's 'been careful' so far but wanted to be sure that if an 'accident did happen intentionally' that I'd be okay with it.

I told her that I was scared but that it turned me on nonetheless to think about. She got undressed and encouraged me to do the same and I have to admit that it all felt quite real at times. She lay back and spread her legs and asked me if she could 'give him my womb'. Oh my god, that was really really intense.

I can't really remember everything in sequence but she asked me, "I want you to tell me it's okay" and I choked up again, as if it were real, and said that I thought it'd be horny if she did give herself to him totally like that. She giggled and said, "you'd know all of his cum is there for a reason".

We went back and forth like that; she was surprisingly explicit including telling me how she would lay back as they already played with the idea and how she could feel herself responding to him. She looked at me and said, "you remember how it was when we were having our own kid’s baby ... remember how I was with wanting you in me." She asked me to tell her whether that turned me on that she'd be sharing that with Robert.

I played up the cuckold role and felt that she wanted me to portray the role of the 'cuckolded husband' and be supporting their desire. I told her that it turned me on to think about him trying to get her pregnant and I looked at her and said, "if it's something you really want, then I suppose you should leave your diaphragm at home all the time now".

She moaned at that reply from me and I noticed that her fingers had strayed and were almost unconsciously rubbing her pussy.

It's difficult to explain how erotic all of this was. The reality of sitting there talking to her so openly like this was really intense and obviously it was turning both of us on intensely. My cock was huge and struggling against my shorts and, as I said, her fingers were rubbing away at her pussy. I told her how turned on I'd be at 'the reality of it'. She asked me what I meant (in character) and I told her that it'd be, "... the reality of the outcome of all of that cum he puts in you - that he'd eventually make a baby in you".

She cooed at me and said, "so you won't mind if you don't have a chance at it?" (that was part of the Penthouse story) and I told her what I'd been saying in truth to her, that, "it turns me on to know that this is what you want" and then I looked at her and sai, "besides, this way you will know for sure who the father is". Wow, did that make her squeal.

We lay down on the bed and started touching each other all over. As I touched her pussy she played it up, "he's going to make a baby in there you know." as I probed the opening to her vagina, " ... are you ready to see my belly swell from him?”

Oh man, she was really playing it all up and while I knew it was all fantasy, it was intense to be talking and doing stuff so openly with her like this.

She looked at me a second later and said, "after I'm pregnant from him baby you can have me bare as much as you want". I swear my cock was throbbing away and I asked her when she'll be fertile again and she said, "next week".

I told her, "I guess he'll need to have you a lot then....". It was her turn to moan away at that thought and she said, "yeah....." and moaned out loud, " ... maybe every day for a while....".

She reached over and started to stroke my cock and said, "but until then, he (referring to my cock) doesn't get to feel me yet". As she stroked me with one hand, she reached into her nightstand and took out a condom for me and she held it up to give to me. I took it from her and I could see she was heavily into the fantasy as her eyes were sort of glazed over as she watched me open it and then roll it on my hard-cock. When I smoothed it all the way down she lay back and said, "you can have some fun with Robbie’s pussy now". As I pushed into her I told her I could still feel his cum in her from Friday and she giggled at that and said, "he cums a lot - I'm sure it won't take too long when it's time next week".

As I fucked her I told her that I thought it was supposed to be good if she orgasmed with his semen still in her and she giggled and nodded her head . I began to increase my speed and depth in her and joked, "... then let's practice" insinuating that I wanted her to cum with me fucking her while she was still wet from him.

For as intensely aroused as we both were, we both seemed to want to fuck for a long time. My cock felt absolutely huge in her and I felt like I could fuck for hours. I was on-edge for so long that it just felt incredible to feel the desire and to hold back as long as I could. She teased me about how deep he fucks her and how his cum is going to, "fill my pussy up". I told her back (or rather struggled to tell her) that I wanted to feel her cum beneath me and to know she was drawing his cum into her body. She moaned and told me again to, "fuck Robbie’s pussy" and how I should feel how she feels when she cums - but then she looked up at me and said, "... but I only want his cum .... I only want his baby....”

I know that there was more that we said and tossed back and forth but I am struggling to put it into words. Suffice to say that at the end, hearing her say she wanted his baby, that tipped me over. She knew it; she could feel it as soon as she said it, and I started fucking her with these huge deep strokes and she could feel me swelling more and more inside her.

She squealed and said, "don't you cum in me - that's just for him ..... come on baby, fill up that rubber for me....". That was it, the entire evening, the entire scene was too much for me and I slammed into her (hard enough that she let out a yelp) and then stayed buried deep in her as I came spurt after spurt. She wrapped her legs around me as she felt me go over the edge and as I ground myself against and inside her, she let loose with an equally intense orgasm herself. I weakly pulled out of her a moment later and we both lay back onto the bed exhausted and breathing deeply. The condom, full of cum, had stayed on my cock which was now lying against my stomach slowly softening...

She rolled over onto her side next to me and kissed me and said, "wow, that was fun!!”


I would say that since she was with Ray that I would defer to her on where she goes and what she does with Robert. Clearly it can't be so out there that it's crazy to think about but if she wanted to go away with him, then it's doubtful I'd stop her as long as, not sure how to say it other than 'as long as it's good for us'.

It wouldn't surprise me if she asked for it, but at the same time, I'm not sure how she's portrayed a lot of this with Robert to know whether it's something he'd even ask for, or to know that he could ask her for something like that. Now, if she wanted it and it was her idea, then honestly, I'm not even sure that I'd even try to say no! However, I feel things are changing between them. I sense it as 'less urgency' at least on her part but it's more how she's saying what she's saying that conveys it to me.

She knows that I was already aware that she'll be seeing him tomorrow night but I see some signs of less arousal in how she told it to me. Maybe that it's just where she's at right now? I can't really tell and, as I said, other than my general questions about them, I don't want to pry.


Tonight and it was kind of funny at some points because again, she took several moments to be alone with me and ask me if I was okay about everything from the other night. I reassured her that it was and added that I thought it was a lot of fun and very satisfying. She giggled and I think after two or three times making mention of it that she eased up on the questioning of what we had done.

Having said that, wow, I am still reeling in a way from what we did. I know it wasn't easy at first to be open about things but as she said tonight, "we were just having fun baby, that's all" it emphasized to me all she's thinking. I believe her as I know that the last thing she'd ever want at 53 years old is another baby and, oh my god, shoot me now to think of being 71 when the kid first turns 18?! That's insanity.

I know we started with the Penthouse Letter story but after a while it became just us and I have to say that it's incredibly arousing to get past the point where you feel awkward and that you can go with the fantasy to intensify things. Hearing her tell me how she kneels to present herself to him so he can fuck her and how he'll get into the fantasy with her, I know she's doing it to have the same results as with me, to make that moment ever more intense, but I guess I'm still just not used to this level of openness between us.

Yeah, we role-played in the past but it was more the sensual lead-up to having sex with a stranger than it was talking about the explicitness of this type of fantasy knowing some of the real parallels with the real-world. I think I was a bit surprised at the forwardness she had in it all, building each other up a bit in a way, hearing her side of some of the same arousal points and what she's thinking and fantasizing about. It's pretty cool to share that and to be okay with it the next morning....

I will also say that while it's intense, as a fantasy and as an infrequent one too, I suppose it is perhaps close to the edge of what I'm comfortable in what she's doing but if this became a primary fantasy for her with him (or even her with me) then I think I'd be concerned about that.

The other thing that I'm thinking is that she's been saying that he's been getting her to talk and open-up and share her fantasies with him so maybe this is the end-result of both his and my encouragement for her to open up. If that's the case then I owe him a thank-you.


.. and on that thought I'll have to close because this is another book filled!