Book 119
We both recognized that my cuckoldry is a key part of what's kept us as good as we are. Suzanna admitted that sex for her has now become a huge part of her life satisfaction, especially with the empty nest thing looming. She says that her ‘empowerment’ has kept her very much enamored with our relationship and especially regarding sex between us which even though isn't nearly as frequent is so much more fulfilling for both of us.
A big part of our discussion was her continued enjoyment of ‘it's-my-vagina-and-I'll-share-it-how-I-want-to’ and we both recognized that my using condoms with her still is a very important part of that and very satisfying. She also knows now that since I've had her bare again, it will be all the more pointed in the future when she restricts me from using condoms when Paul is here. As she's said, “I enjoy knowing it's mine to control.”
That said, she also did say that it felt different me cumming in her again and made comments that she felt ‘different’ afterward. I told her that it was likely that the difference was in her head but that it had been a long time since she's had my semen in her.
She giggled that it was good that it wasn't going to be something we did all the time and that she has no intention of letting me have her bare regularly. She asked me how that was going to make me feel, especially after having felt her again. I had to admit that the idea seemed to arouse me even more.
She liked that response and again told me that she would be the one deciding when I will get to have that again with her. Laughing she added, “You might want to not masturbate quite so much because you never know when I might decide!"
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Tomorrow night will be the first time she'll spend the night with Paul in a long time, she said, she wants it one more time in our house before things will start to change with the kids being home from college.
Our ******** had texted us an update that she'll be away for the weekend and won't be home now till Monday. That’s good as it means there's no risk in having Paul stay over.
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I was honest with her and I told her that not having cum in her in so long was something that profoundly turned me and that it was comforting to know that she wanted it as well as I did. It felt good to tell her things so clearly.
In response, she told me how incredible it made her feel to have that control and know that it turned her on as much as it had me.
Our feelings inside are different. She doesn't fully understand it but accepts that I am turned on and that she would want and give that intimacy to Paul whilst denying me. The thought that only he had truly felt and experienced and shared her sex in this way for so long only served to turn me on even more.
For her, she could only say that it was a feeling of power and control and that knowing it turned me on made it easier for her to want it; first to satisfy me, but then, definitely to satisfy herself.
I told her that what I wanted was to feel as if she was fulfilling that and for her to share and, even better, for her to flaunt it. She asked me if it wouldn't turn me on, even more, to have sex with her and cum in her sometimes.
I realized then that I wanted her to act and do it more, that is, to tease me that her pussy is just Paul’s for now and, yes, to not know when she may want to let me share her sexually again.
She asked if it wasn't better for me when I would restrain myself in the hopes of having sex with her not knowing whether I would or not.
I admitted that it was and confessed at times when she would say no, or that she had had enough or was sore from Paul, that’s when I would masturbate to that thought and my orgasm was even more intense.
I also told her that I felt that a distance was opening between us and, as she asked me about periodically cumming in her, it suddenly made me realize that her controlling me and her open admission that, "it's not going to be very often" might be what is good for us.
She smiled and admitted how she loves the feeling of being in control of 2 men and how incredible it made her feel to give herself sexually to another man; that every time I would put a condom on she felt herself get wet knowing what we were doing and very clearly that she loves, not just likes, but loves that I didn't cum in her for so long.
I didn’t say it but it was 8 months since I’d cum in her. but she knows it's been long enough and that she had forgotten how it felt for me to let go in her; how different my cock feels in her bare compared to how much more he cums but how much more open she feels from me. I could tell, just as I did, that she felt good saying the thoughts of what she had long been keeping inside.
She went on to say, several times, that she would like to do what I'd said, to make it more real for me and play it up more with Paul; to tease me more about it but at the same time, allow me to participate with them sometimes.
She asked me how I would feel if she would tease me more when I was there with them, adding with a smile, “Sometimes that would be nice.”
I asked her what she meant and she said, "Well, what if I told you to stay next to me and watch while Paul fucks me?"
She reminded me that Paul doesn't care if I’m there or not and that he doesn’t want to be between us at all. She said that she's continued to be coaching him and admitted to sometimes asking/telling him that she wanted me to be there with them at times. His response to that was that it's okay, he's used to it now, just as long as he also gets some ‘alone time’ with her. It was quite a stimulating conversation.
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She is out getting all prettied up in anticipation of Paul coming here around 4 pm. I told her that once he gets here that I would give her time with him alone and suggested that I go out to shop and bring home some pizzas and wine for us for dinner. I told her to text me when she wanted me to come home.
I am eager to be there with them tonight and, if she's in the mood, to don a condom and take my turn with her. However, at the same time, as she's already warned me, that if he's staying the night, then she will likely just want to be with him and that I can, "wait or not."
I think we made a lot of breakthroughs in our talks, and I suspect, from how she's talked about it, that her ‘treats for me’ when I will get to have her bare may be more frequent but unpredictable too.
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Paul did come over and stay the night with us and, well, let me just say it was a little different than in the past. Suzanna was much more vocal and, interestingly, focused on me too!
I texted her ‘ready for pizza?’ after I’d been out of the house for a couple of hours thinking that surely by then they'd have ‘rocked the house’. She replied with a ‘yes’ and I was surprised when I came in at about 6:30 that they were both still dressed. (I did notice that her bra had come off so I knew they must at least have had some fun.)
However, what was more apparent was that Paul was also behaving a little differently and I suspected that the change in his behavior was very much her doing too. She said that while they had been waiting for me to come home that they’d been talking. She didn’t say what but with Paul more, I had assumed they were talking about her and her desires/pleasure, but what I almost immediately felt was that she has been pushing Paul into taking a bit more of a submissive role. It became apparent to me when how she enjoyed having the two of us wait on her so to speak. That was borne out when she asked or, rather, told him what to get her for pizza before ‘telling me’ to bring her a glass of wine. No ‘pleases’ or ‘thank yous’ to either of us.
The conversation turned to talk pretty freely about different things including about the ski weekend. Different comments weaved in and out about the total lack of snow and what a crappy season it had turned out to be. Suzanna joked that the fun she was about to have could compensate for the 2nd trip that never happened which made us all laugh. She then teased me with Paul there about how much fun it had been on the weekend that we did have, "Let go for that weekend like that." She emphasized the comment by putting her hand on Paul's leg when she said it. Another time it was Paul who let it slip that he liked it on that trip when she'd said she was cold and to emphasize that he pulled her closer supposedly realizing what he was saying in front of me. I figured this was all a bit of play-acting and that it was Suzanna coaxing the conversation.
The conversation dried up and that seemed to be a signal for them to get up and make for the stairs. I was left to fill her wine glass which I did before and following. When I got to the bedroom she turned to me and said, "You should just watch for a little while, honey."
I put the wine glass on the nightstand and stood back to watch her turn and kiss him quite passionately and then to see both of them furtively getting their pants off. Suzanna lay back on the bed with just her panties and top on, she looked over at me standing there and said, "You said you liked to watch me give myself to Paul, now you can be right here". With that, she turned to him as he climbed on the bed.
I sat down on the Ottoman trunk we have at the foot of the bed and watched as his hands caressed her breasts and I could see her nipples stiffen as he pinched and squeezed her so that they appeared to become rock hard. Her hand slipped down and looked equally comfortable as she began to rub on his cock through his boxers.
Then it became even sexier when she motioned me to get onto the bed next to her and held my hand as she raised her butt and whispered, but loud enough for him to hear, "I feel so sexy when I do this with him." ‘This’ was when he reached under her and slowly pulled her panties off.
I was sitting almost next to her so I saw what it looked like from her view and, my god was she sexy as she kept her legs together at first and then, holding my hand more firmly, she spread them and pulled them back. I never really realized how much of her pussy she can see when she curves herself up but I could see her bare pussy slowly spread for him and it was incredibly erotic.
She whispered, again loud enough so he could hear, and told me, "He's going to lick me first," and I saw how erotic she must feel opening herself like that for him. A moment later she let out this intense moan as I watched him lick her. She held my hand even tighter and she looked like she was enjoying her new role!
I don't know how long he licked her (of course I was jealous, even more now that I'd felt her bare again and knew what he would be enjoying and she must have known it) because she turned her head to me and whispered again, "You can have me tomorrow honey, tonight I just want to be with Paul."
I looked down and he looked upward at the same time and then he looked away. I felt a little embarrassed but also incredibly turned on by her apparent openness. I wasn't sure what was going to happen until, as he went back to lick her a little more she again whispered, "I want you to stay with me tonight too."
I can't even recall how everything from there went because I was just surprised at everything she was doing. I know that when she said that she waited a moment and then said "If you want to, that is...." from there on everything was like a blur.
It took them forever to finally fuck. And she wanted me to stay the whole time. She said a few things to me but mostly it was her moaning and whispering with Paul. I stayed on the bed for a bit but then moved to the ottoman thing and watched. At first, she had her top still on and was eagerly undressing him. She sucked his way past where I'd have cum already and I almost felt bad in a way because it seemed she would get him closer and closer but then stop and suggest he lay down or that they move in this position or that. Paul said a little but it seemed he was content to do what she'd said, I got the distinct impression he wasn't convinced about it all and was sort of going along and acting a part. (My suspicion was confirmed when I spoke with him the next morning.)
Finally, I could tell she was more than ready. Her nipples were so hard and her pussy looked very wet when she moved to lay back against the pillow to signal she was ready to be fucked, I could see her pussy lips were also very swollen.
He moved in and as I'd seen before, he teased the heck out of her but, at the same time, he never looked at or said anything to me. He rubbed his cock up and down and then - as she moaned out loud, he would slowly start to push it into her. She reached for my hand and when I held it she said, "You like watching this, right baby?" as if it were nothing.
I moaned back, "Uh huh" as I realized I wasn't going to be able to stand being there if I didn't jerk off alongside them. I moaned and moved as I slid my pants and boxers off.
She must have opened her eyes because she said, "that's good baby, enjoy it too."
A moment later he simply pushed his cock into her as if it was none of my business. In response, she grunted for a second and then as she felt him slowly push in, she moaned and drew her legs back for him. I've been there many times with Paul, and others, seeing her have sex but this was a little different than before because this time I felt her hand tighten on mine and she said out loud, "feels sooooo good!!!"
I moved again on the bed so I was on my side and watched. She held my hand for a moment longer until they reached a rhythm and then she let mine go. For me, that was maybe the most erotic moment in a long long time.
I stayed on my side of the bed and looked on with wonder for no matter how much she'd teased, sucked, and gotten him close, he seemed to last forever. I won't say I got tired of watching, but after a little while I will say I almost wanted to encourage him to cum already. It wasn't difficult to know what Suzanna was thinking, she just kept saying, "Oh yeah, more, more."
I looked to see his cock slip-sliding into her pussy and I missed seeing her open her eyes when I heard her moan, "MMm... cum.... soon..." I looked up and saw she was looking at me and in some ways, I thought she was saying it to me (maybe she was) but she was also saying it to him and wanted (confirmed later) to see me and know that I knew it was going to happen soon.
She later told me she wanted me to be there when he came in here and we talked a bit about how it made me feel to know that I wasn't going to feel that again with her now until she wanted it again.
I told her that it wasn't just seeing and knowing he'd cum (it was obvious when he did) but it was how he stayed in her and how they hugged and rocked back and forth on the bed while he was still in her that got to me. I don't think either of them (she didn't) realized that was the moment when I finally came and let go and spurted all over my leg on my side of the bed.
What surprised me, even more, was when she said that if I wanted I could stay with them in our bed. When I said yes, we all got up and put some robes on, and went down to the kitchen for a snack. It felt strangely erotic to be with them when she sat on his lap as we had some fruit and a drink of water before we went back up to the bedroom. I let the two of them go while I stayed downstairs to lock the house up.
When I went back upstairs they were both in the bathroom together. The door was open but I don't think they realized I was there. I didn't recognize what was going on at first until Paul said, "Your turn" and through the opening in the door, I saw her sit on the toilet I heard the sound of water running into the sink and could see him washing up.
(She told me after he left the next day that she did that on purpose; that she knew I would be in the bedroom and she remembered that it was something that turned me on.)
A few moments later they both came out in their robes and as I went in for my turn to wash up and stuff she said to me, "you're wearing boxers tonight". As I went into the bathroom, they both put their robes on the ottoman and I watched as they got into her side of the bed naked together. When I came out a few minutes later they were both lying against the pillows with the covers pulled up to just above her breasts and his chest; they had the TV on. I picked up my boxers from where they had been discarded earlier and pulled them on before I took my robe off. She smiled at me as I got into bed with them.
I was surprised that she turned and rolled over to hug and kiss me and tell me she loved me. She didn't resist when I ran my hands down her body to feel her nakedness. She later told me she knew from how I looked at her just then that she liked what she'd set up for the night. She even let me put my fingers in her pussy and feel the warmth still in there. She pulled me close before I pulled my fingers out and then she reached down and guided my hand up and made me kiss her as we both licked off my finger. Another moment that she remembered and reminded me of afterward too.
I was still not sure what was going on but then she leaned over, kissed me again, and then said out loud, "You can stay as long as you want," it was like a scene from a movie when she then giggled and went under the covers and I could see her lay against his leg under the covers and it was obvious she was sucking his cock.
Paul turned to look at me and I said, "It's okay, enjoy her." with that, I slid out of the bed, grabbed my t-shirt and shorts and I left them in the bed. She must have felt me moving and came up from under the cover but she didn't turn to look at me. By the time I reached the bedroom door, she was lying on top kissing him.
My cock was hard again seeing them but at the same time, I did want to save myself some enjoyment with her after he left. I will also say that lying in the bed in our spare bedroom, thinking of how I left them was just incredibly exciting. My cock was so hard and I just lay there thinking about what they were doing that I'd just touch it a bit and keep it hard until I dozed off myself.
I was annoyed that they'd let me sleep in on Sunday morning and I missed them getting ready together. I told Suzanna that too; she knew that it would have turned me on. She giggled and said, after he'd left, "Okay, then I'll make sure you're there next time." As it was, instead I came into both of them sitting at the kitchen table.
She was wearing a robe over a nightshirt and Paul was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt as he'd soon be leaving. Coffee and tea were there and some breakfast stuff was in the oven too. The atmosphere was very awkward and the silence was broken when Suzanna said, "You guys are going to have to get used to each other sooner or later."
I think Paul is like me in many ways, of being uncomfortable in sexual situations like these and about it in general. We avoided talking about the sex stuff but repeated a lot of the conversation from the night before about skiing and lack of snow and all that. He stepped into the sitting room to make a call so I had a moment alone with Suzanna. I asked her if I should stay or leave them alone for a bit, it was all kind of weird with me getting up so late. She said I should stay and that he was leaving pretty soon. He came back from his call saying he'd gotten some golf-time setup and that he was ready to say goodbye.
She saw him at the front door and after he left she came back to the kitchen and we straightaway started to talk, and talk we did. She wanted to know if I had enjoyed her 'taking charge' and when I said I did, she said that it was kind of fun for her and that it took her a lot to try to make it work for me and her.
She asked me how I felt about being there when they were getting started. I told her that it was amazing to be there as he pulled her panties off and she looked at me and said, "Really? OMG!" She said that she had thought I was enjoying it and that it was one of the first times that she loved how it felt to have me looking at her as she gave herself to him like that.
She looked at me and said that knowing I was next to her as she spread her legs for her lover meant a lot to her and that now that we'd done it and she'd finally let herself get into the role all the way. She giggled and said, "I wished we'd talked sooner."
She asked me again if I did like being with her, even though she knew the answer she was like a little kid in a way wanting to hear it over and over. So I told her and the more I repeated myself, the more she giggled till eventually we moved into the living room where she sat on my lap, turned to face me and she teased, “Do you like your naughty wife?"
I told her she could feel my answer and she turned to be facing me more she opened her robe and through the nightshirt, I could see her hard nipples. She giggled and I openly asked her, "didn't he give you enough already?"
She giggled even more and said, "Oh yeah, for sure, but... maybe one more..." and she kissed me in a way that left me no doubt. I picked her up and carried her to the steps and then I chased after her up into our bedroom. The bed was a mess but she lay back on it and I jumped on top of her and it wasn't long before we were both naked.
We kissed and she let my hands go over her body just like the night before and yes, in her pussy where she felt very wet. I pulled back from the kiss and just said, "Do you again this morning?" She smiled and pulled me back to her.
We kissed and played and she stroked my cock and teased me, talking to it, "Aww, do you need to cum too?"
I pushed her back and she lay back and let her legs spread apart I looked and she saw me looking and she said, "I only have a little left in me, you can lick me if you want but you can fuck me too if you want."
I was horny from the night before so there wasn't a doubt in my mind and I climbed over her and got between her legs at the last moment I looked up at her and as I saw her face I realized what she wanted. I leaned over, opened the drawer, and pulled out a condom. I did look back up at her as I put it on and the look on her face had changed to this huge smile. She told me later that she loved the feelings she had with me that morning.
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Our ******** is home this week so that was also part of why she'd put more emphasis on the weekend. Last night as I lay alongside her bed stroking my cock I told her that I enjoyed the extremes she presented me with, an intense weekend where I was faced with her essentially being Paul’s. I didn't add that to be given a 'pity-fuck', offering herself to me as she did so excitedly on Sunday morning was intense. I just told her it had been a great night.
She asked me if it made me feel the way I wanted and I had to tell her that it was probably the best and most excited I'd felt about the 3 of us in a long long time. As I masturbated and we talked more last night she asked me how it was for me to use a condom with her on Sunday and she said she hoped I understood that while we had a lot of sex without one, she very much still wanted to restrict and deny me that way.
She giggled at just how turned on I was and how pre-cum was gushing from my cock as we talked. She told me that she knows that it is something that turns me on and that it made her feel wonderful that I was still into that part of what we'd been doing. She openly admitted to me in a hugely teasing way that, "you still aren't going to cum in me much baby" and explained that she had felt a lot of arousal at all of this on Saturday and then again on Sunday when she felt me in her with the condom on again. She said that it feels secure and that she likes how it is something that is now very specific about what I will not get to have with her until she says so.
I asked her how Paul was about everything and she giggled and said, "He’ll do anything I ask if we keep having sex together." He had even told her that it felt better to him that I was a little more involved with her when he was with her.
When she knew I was getting close she again went back to Saturday and she told me again how amazing she said she felt when he slid her panties off knowing I was next to her watching as she spread her legs for him.
I told her that I'd never really seen her from that specific point of view and hadn't realized how much of her pussy she could see as he fucked her. She said that my being next to her as she did turned her on and she wanted to know how I felt? I told her that it was, for me, something that so turned me on. I told her that I loved to see and to be holding her hand, being next to her, and feeling how she says she feels when she does that.
As I was stroking away and getting closer and closer I told her how erotic it was watching him push into her, how erotic it looked from where I was lying. Just as I was about to cum I told her that her asking and telling me that he was about to cum in her was probably the most intense moment for me in a long long time.
She giggled and as she said something about how intimate she felt with him; that was all I needed and I felt myself cum and cum and cum. She squealed as I stroked myself and then leaned over to me and kissed me and said she loved me and loved sharing all this with her.
I had to laugh at the time as I didn't know if 'all this' meant all of her and Paul and everything or if 'all this' meant a huge load of cum all over my stomach. I didn't need to ask, she scooped it all up and played with it and let me lick it off her fingers and I realized it meant both.
It turns out our kids won't overlap being home so Suzanna will likely have some time with Paul next Saturday again. Not here but likely at his place this time. As of now, no overnights here are planned. Not yet at least.
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It now seems increasingly clear to me that Paul is not himself a threat and never was. It was our personalities and perhaps my relative inexperience within our newly minted Alpha / Beta roles that got me where I was and communication, particularly my finally expressing a limit, that got me moving back together again. What was needed was a lot of honesty on both of our parts… and several bottles of wine over several days.
The ski weekend surely did change things. I know that it was partly due to it being so one-sided and that was something Suzanna had felt too. Even before that, when they were here, I know they like their privacy but I think she was previously hesitant to take control more. Now it’s becoming a little unnerving as her confidence is increasing all the time, but, it feels really good.
She is sharing more with me, physically and visually. The feeling was wonderful when she wanted me to hold her hand, I felt a lot more from her holding my hand too. In a way, it's something I think I wanted without realizing it either. I felt the most intense feelings when I felt her hand tighten around mine as he licked her.
I felt too that I don't even mind the sex at all; it's been a long time since I think I finally may have shed a few of the lingering male-inadequacy feelings, which was something Suzanna and I had talked about when she tried to push me to explain how and why it turns me on to see her with Paul. I gave her the same response as before and told her that it was her giving herself to him and not me, just how it made me feel inside.
It all seems a bit weird but as long as we stay as we are now in this mode, whether I am there or not in the future, participating or not, it feels like something has changed and that to me is exciting. I know it turned me on that it had been so long since I'd cum in her.
Even strangers are the thoughts of regret I have for giving in and not having waited longer. Knowing that it was only been Paul that had her bareback for so long is just something that just so turns me on.
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I was surprised when Suzanna came to me last night when our ******** went out for the evening and asked me if I wanted to 'mess around'. It surprised me because she had seen Paul this afternoon for a while, so this was out of character for her.
When we got in bed she asked me if I wanted to try something new with her. I was all ears, eager to expand our options and range.
She pulled me close and we kissed it was very erotic feeling her naked body under her nightshirt. Our hands were all over each other but when she pulled my cock out and began to stroke it was when she asked me if I wanted to know what she was thinking.
When I eagerly nodded yes she giggled and said, "What about if we have some fun with you in me without a condom."
"That’d be great!"
When she paused for a second I realized there was more to what she wanted; she then said, "But you pull out at the end?"
"So, I don't cum in you at the end?"
"If that's okay with you…" and then added, "If not, you can use a condom if you want... but I'd rather you didn't cum in me.”
She giggled at my visible response and said, "Which will it be?"
"Let’s try it."
For a moment she took on a serious voice and said, "I'm serious honey, I'd rather you didn’t tonight, you know... cum in me."
I looked at her and said that I understood and would do my best. She giggled and said, "I love you."
It was crazy, it felt even better than last time, she was VERY wet and we really got into it for a while but all the while she kept telling me, "Remember baby" and indeed, when the urge came around I did have the thought of staying in her but looking down at her, seeing that angelic face and just how hot she looked as she had a few mild orgasms, I realized she was doing this more for me than her and I determined to at least try to make it good for her.
I held off till the last moment and as I pulled out and stroked myself off, I rubbed the head of my cock up and down between her lips and around her clit and just as I let go, she responded in kind herself and it was kind of cool. My climax hit and my cum gushed out and was all over her stomach; a spurt or two had even reached as far as her breasts.
As I knelt there catching my breath she moved up onto her elbows and surveyed the situation and then looked at me and said, "Your turn to clean me up."
I didn't hesitate at all and gladly let her watch as I licked up my semen and where it had dribbled down to her pussy, I gave her several licks all around as well as inside, "just to be sure." She giggled but enjoyed my attention.
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Saturday and she looked adorable this morning picking out a matching bra and panty set. She turned and held different ones to her letting me see her and knowing she wanted my input on what she should wear. She reminded me it's been a while since she's been at his place and giggled that she hoped to be back by late afternoon but added with a smile, "Well, I promise it'll be before dinner honey."
I’m sitting here alone now with my cock out and myself gently masturbating while I figure out what I want to do with my day, one thing I will do is find a new book, this one is full.
We both recognized that my cuckoldry is a key part of what's kept us as good as we are. Suzanna admitted that sex for her has now become a huge part of her life satisfaction, especially with the empty nest thing looming. She says that her ‘empowerment’ has kept her very much enamored with our relationship and especially regarding sex between us which even though isn't nearly as frequent is so much more fulfilling for both of us.
A big part of our discussion was her continued enjoyment of ‘it's-my-vagina-and-I'll-share-it-how-I-want-to’ and we both recognized that my using condoms with her still is a very important part of that and very satisfying. She also knows now that since I've had her bare again, it will be all the more pointed in the future when she restricts me from using condoms when Paul is here. As she's said, “I enjoy knowing it's mine to control.”
That said, she also did say that it felt different me cumming in her again and made comments that she felt ‘different’ afterward. I told her that it was likely that the difference was in her head but that it had been a long time since she's had my semen in her.
She giggled that it was good that it wasn't going to be something we did all the time and that she has no intention of letting me have her bare regularly. She asked me how that was going to make me feel, especially after having felt her again. I had to admit that the idea seemed to arouse me even more.
She liked that response and again told me that she would be the one deciding when I will get to have that again with her. Laughing she added, “You might want to not masturbate quite so much because you never know when I might decide!"
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Tomorrow night will be the first time she'll spend the night with Paul in a long time, she said, she wants it one more time in our house before things will start to change with the kids being home from college.
Our ******** had texted us an update that she'll be away for the weekend and won't be home now till Monday. That’s good as it means there's no risk in having Paul stay over.
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I was honest with her and I told her that not having cum in her in so long was something that profoundly turned me and that it was comforting to know that she wanted it as well as I did. It felt good to tell her things so clearly.
In response, she told me how incredible it made her feel to have that control and know that it turned her on as much as it had me.
Our feelings inside are different. She doesn't fully understand it but accepts that I am turned on and that she would want and give that intimacy to Paul whilst denying me. The thought that only he had truly felt and experienced and shared her sex in this way for so long only served to turn me on even more.
For her, she could only say that it was a feeling of power and control and that knowing it turned me on made it easier for her to want it; first to satisfy me, but then, definitely to satisfy herself.
I told her that what I wanted was to feel as if she was fulfilling that and for her to share and, even better, for her to flaunt it. She asked me if it wouldn't turn me on, even more, to have sex with her and cum in her sometimes.
I realized then that I wanted her to act and do it more, that is, to tease me that her pussy is just Paul’s for now and, yes, to not know when she may want to let me share her sexually again.
She asked if it wasn't better for me when I would restrain myself in the hopes of having sex with her not knowing whether I would or not.
I admitted that it was and confessed at times when she would say no, or that she had had enough or was sore from Paul, that’s when I would masturbate to that thought and my orgasm was even more intense.
I also told her that I felt that a distance was opening between us and, as she asked me about periodically cumming in her, it suddenly made me realize that her controlling me and her open admission that, "it's not going to be very often" might be what is good for us.
She smiled and admitted how she loves the feeling of being in control of 2 men and how incredible it made her feel to give herself sexually to another man; that every time I would put a condom on she felt herself get wet knowing what we were doing and very clearly that she loves, not just likes, but loves that I didn't cum in her for so long.
I didn’t say it but it was 8 months since I’d cum in her. but she knows it's been long enough and that she had forgotten how it felt for me to let go in her; how different my cock feels in her bare compared to how much more he cums but how much more open she feels from me. I could tell, just as I did, that she felt good saying the thoughts of what she had long been keeping inside.
She went on to say, several times, that she would like to do what I'd said, to make it more real for me and play it up more with Paul; to tease me more about it but at the same time, allow me to participate with them sometimes.
She asked me how I would feel if she would tease me more when I was there with them, adding with a smile, “Sometimes that would be nice.”
I asked her what she meant and she said, "Well, what if I told you to stay next to me and watch while Paul fucks me?"
She reminded me that Paul doesn't care if I’m there or not and that he doesn’t want to be between us at all. She said that she's continued to be coaching him and admitted to sometimes asking/telling him that she wanted me to be there with them at times. His response to that was that it's okay, he's used to it now, just as long as he also gets some ‘alone time’ with her. It was quite a stimulating conversation.
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She is out getting all prettied up in anticipation of Paul coming here around 4 pm. I told her that once he gets here that I would give her time with him alone and suggested that I go out to shop and bring home some pizzas and wine for us for dinner. I told her to text me when she wanted me to come home.
I am eager to be there with them tonight and, if she's in the mood, to don a condom and take my turn with her. However, at the same time, as she's already warned me, that if he's staying the night, then she will likely just want to be with him and that I can, "wait or not."
I think we made a lot of breakthroughs in our talks, and I suspect, from how she's talked about it, that her ‘treats for me’ when I will get to have her bare may be more frequent but unpredictable too.
*********************************************
Paul did come over and stay the night with us and, well, let me just say it was a little different than in the past. Suzanna was much more vocal and, interestingly, focused on me too!
I texted her ‘ready for pizza?’ after I’d been out of the house for a couple of hours thinking that surely by then they'd have ‘rocked the house’. She replied with a ‘yes’ and I was surprised when I came in at about 6:30 that they were both still dressed. (I did notice that her bra had come off so I knew they must at least have had some fun.)
However, what was more apparent was that Paul was also behaving a little differently and I suspected that the change in his behavior was very much her doing too. She said that while they had been waiting for me to come home that they’d been talking. She didn’t say what but with Paul more, I had assumed they were talking about her and her desires/pleasure, but what I almost immediately felt was that she has been pushing Paul into taking a bit more of a submissive role. It became apparent to me when how she enjoyed having the two of us wait on her so to speak. That was borne out when she asked or, rather, told him what to get her for pizza before ‘telling me’ to bring her a glass of wine. No ‘pleases’ or ‘thank yous’ to either of us.
The conversation turned to talk pretty freely about different things including about the ski weekend. Different comments weaved in and out about the total lack of snow and what a crappy season it had turned out to be. Suzanna joked that the fun she was about to have could compensate for the 2nd trip that never happened which made us all laugh. She then teased me with Paul there about how much fun it had been on the weekend that we did have, "Let go for that weekend like that." She emphasized the comment by putting her hand on Paul's leg when she said it. Another time it was Paul who let it slip that he liked it on that trip when she'd said she was cold and to emphasize that he pulled her closer supposedly realizing what he was saying in front of me. I figured this was all a bit of play-acting and that it was Suzanna coaxing the conversation.
The conversation dried up and that seemed to be a signal for them to get up and make for the stairs. I was left to fill her wine glass which I did before and following. When I got to the bedroom she turned to me and said, "You should just watch for a little while, honey."
I put the wine glass on the nightstand and stood back to watch her turn and kiss him quite passionately and then to see both of them furtively getting their pants off. Suzanna lay back on the bed with just her panties and top on, she looked over at me standing there and said, "You said you liked to watch me give myself to Paul, now you can be right here". With that, she turned to him as he climbed on the bed.
I sat down on the Ottoman trunk we have at the foot of the bed and watched as his hands caressed her breasts and I could see her nipples stiffen as he pinched and squeezed her so that they appeared to become rock hard. Her hand slipped down and looked equally comfortable as she began to rub on his cock through his boxers.
Then it became even sexier when she motioned me to get onto the bed next to her and held my hand as she raised her butt and whispered, but loud enough for him to hear, "I feel so sexy when I do this with him." ‘This’ was when he reached under her and slowly pulled her panties off.
I was sitting almost next to her so I saw what it looked like from her view and, my god was she sexy as she kept her legs together at first and then, holding my hand more firmly, she spread them and pulled them back. I never really realized how much of her pussy she can see when she curves herself up but I could see her bare pussy slowly spread for him and it was incredibly erotic.
She whispered, again loud enough so he could hear, and told me, "He's going to lick me first," and I saw how erotic she must feel opening herself like that for him. A moment later she let out this intense moan as I watched him lick her. She held my hand even tighter and she looked like she was enjoying her new role!
I don't know how long he licked her (of course I was jealous, even more now that I'd felt her bare again and knew what he would be enjoying and she must have known it) because she turned her head to me and whispered again, "You can have me tomorrow honey, tonight I just want to be with Paul."
I looked down and he looked upward at the same time and then he looked away. I felt a little embarrassed but also incredibly turned on by her apparent openness. I wasn't sure what was going to happen until, as he went back to lick her a little more she again whispered, "I want you to stay with me tonight too."
I can't even recall how everything from there went because I was just surprised at everything she was doing. I know that when she said that she waited a moment and then said "If you want to, that is...." from there on everything was like a blur.
It took them forever to finally fuck. And she wanted me to stay the whole time. She said a few things to me but mostly it was her moaning and whispering with Paul. I stayed on the bed for a bit but then moved to the ottoman thing and watched. At first, she had her top still on and was eagerly undressing him. She sucked his way past where I'd have cum already and I almost felt bad in a way because it seemed she would get him closer and closer but then stop and suggest he lay down or that they move in this position or that. Paul said a little but it seemed he was content to do what she'd said, I got the distinct impression he wasn't convinced about it all and was sort of going along and acting a part. (My suspicion was confirmed when I spoke with him the next morning.)
Finally, I could tell she was more than ready. Her nipples were so hard and her pussy looked very wet when she moved to lay back against the pillow to signal she was ready to be fucked, I could see her pussy lips were also very swollen.
He moved in and as I'd seen before, he teased the heck out of her but, at the same time, he never looked at or said anything to me. He rubbed his cock up and down and then - as she moaned out loud, he would slowly start to push it into her. She reached for my hand and when I held it she said, "You like watching this, right baby?" as if it were nothing.
I moaned back, "Uh huh" as I realized I wasn't going to be able to stand being there if I didn't jerk off alongside them. I moaned and moved as I slid my pants and boxers off.
She must have opened her eyes because she said, "that's good baby, enjoy it too."
A moment later he simply pushed his cock into her as if it was none of my business. In response, she grunted for a second and then as she felt him slowly push in, she moaned and drew her legs back for him. I've been there many times with Paul, and others, seeing her have sex but this was a little different than before because this time I felt her hand tighten on mine and she said out loud, "feels sooooo good!!!"
I moved again on the bed so I was on my side and watched. She held my hand for a moment longer until they reached a rhythm and then she let mine go. For me, that was maybe the most erotic moment in a long long time.
I stayed on my side of the bed and looked on with wonder for no matter how much she'd teased, sucked, and gotten him close, he seemed to last forever. I won't say I got tired of watching, but after a little while I will say I almost wanted to encourage him to cum already. It wasn't difficult to know what Suzanna was thinking, she just kept saying, "Oh yeah, more, more."
I looked to see his cock slip-sliding into her pussy and I missed seeing her open her eyes when I heard her moan, "MMm... cum.... soon..." I looked up and saw she was looking at me and in some ways, I thought she was saying it to me (maybe she was) but she was also saying it to him and wanted (confirmed later) to see me and know that I knew it was going to happen soon.
She later told me she wanted me to be there when he came in here and we talked a bit about how it made me feel to know that I wasn't going to feel that again with her now until she wanted it again.
I told her that it wasn't just seeing and knowing he'd cum (it was obvious when he did) but it was how he stayed in her and how they hugged and rocked back and forth on the bed while he was still in her that got to me. I don't think either of them (she didn't) realized that was the moment when I finally came and let go and spurted all over my leg on my side of the bed.
What surprised me, even more, was when she said that if I wanted I could stay with them in our bed. When I said yes, we all got up and put some robes on, and went down to the kitchen for a snack. It felt strangely erotic to be with them when she sat on his lap as we had some fruit and a drink of water before we went back up to the bedroom. I let the two of them go while I stayed downstairs to lock the house up.
When I went back upstairs they were both in the bathroom together. The door was open but I don't think they realized I was there. I didn't recognize what was going on at first until Paul said, "Your turn" and through the opening in the door, I saw her sit on the toilet I heard the sound of water running into the sink and could see him washing up.
(She told me after he left the next day that she did that on purpose; that she knew I would be in the bedroom and she remembered that it was something that turned me on.)
A few moments later they both came out in their robes and as I went in for my turn to wash up and stuff she said to me, "you're wearing boxers tonight". As I went into the bathroom, they both put their robes on the ottoman and I watched as they got into her side of the bed naked together. When I came out a few minutes later they were both lying against the pillows with the covers pulled up to just above her breasts and his chest; they had the TV on. I picked up my boxers from where they had been discarded earlier and pulled them on before I took my robe off. She smiled at me as I got into bed with them.
I was surprised that she turned and rolled over to hug and kiss me and tell me she loved me. She didn't resist when I ran my hands down her body to feel her nakedness. She later told me she knew from how I looked at her just then that she liked what she'd set up for the night. She even let me put my fingers in her pussy and feel the warmth still in there. She pulled me close before I pulled my fingers out and then she reached down and guided my hand up and made me kiss her as we both licked off my finger. Another moment that she remembered and reminded me of afterward too.
I was still not sure what was going on but then she leaned over, kissed me again, and then said out loud, "You can stay as long as you want," it was like a scene from a movie when she then giggled and went under the covers and I could see her lay against his leg under the covers and it was obvious she was sucking his cock.
Paul turned to look at me and I said, "It's okay, enjoy her." with that, I slid out of the bed, grabbed my t-shirt and shorts and I left them in the bed. She must have felt me moving and came up from under the cover but she didn't turn to look at me. By the time I reached the bedroom door, she was lying on top kissing him.
My cock was hard again seeing them but at the same time, I did want to save myself some enjoyment with her after he left. I will also say that lying in the bed in our spare bedroom, thinking of how I left them was just incredibly exciting. My cock was so hard and I just lay there thinking about what they were doing that I'd just touch it a bit and keep it hard until I dozed off myself.
I was annoyed that they'd let me sleep in on Sunday morning and I missed them getting ready together. I told Suzanna that too; she knew that it would have turned me on. She giggled and said, after he'd left, "Okay, then I'll make sure you're there next time." As it was, instead I came into both of them sitting at the kitchen table.
She was wearing a robe over a nightshirt and Paul was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt as he'd soon be leaving. Coffee and tea were there and some breakfast stuff was in the oven too. The atmosphere was very awkward and the silence was broken when Suzanna said, "You guys are going to have to get used to each other sooner or later."
I think Paul is like me in many ways, of being uncomfortable in sexual situations like these and about it in general. We avoided talking about the sex stuff but repeated a lot of the conversation from the night before about skiing and lack of snow and all that. He stepped into the sitting room to make a call so I had a moment alone with Suzanna. I asked her if I should stay or leave them alone for a bit, it was all kind of weird with me getting up so late. She said I should stay and that he was leaving pretty soon. He came back from his call saying he'd gotten some golf-time setup and that he was ready to say goodbye.
She saw him at the front door and after he left she came back to the kitchen and we straightaway started to talk, and talk we did. She wanted to know if I had enjoyed her 'taking charge' and when I said I did, she said that it was kind of fun for her and that it took her a lot to try to make it work for me and her.
She asked me how I felt about being there when they were getting started. I told her that it was amazing to be there as he pulled her panties off and she looked at me and said, "Really? OMG!" She said that she had thought I was enjoying it and that it was one of the first times that she loved how it felt to have me looking at her as she gave herself to him like that.
She looked at me and said that knowing I was next to her as she spread her legs for her lover meant a lot to her and that now that we'd done it and she'd finally let herself get into the role all the way. She giggled and said, "I wished we'd talked sooner."
She asked me again if I did like being with her, even though she knew the answer she was like a little kid in a way wanting to hear it over and over. So I told her and the more I repeated myself, the more she giggled till eventually we moved into the living room where she sat on my lap, turned to face me and she teased, “Do you like your naughty wife?"
I told her she could feel my answer and she turned to be facing me more she opened her robe and through the nightshirt, I could see her hard nipples. She giggled and I openly asked her, "didn't he give you enough already?"
She giggled even more and said, "Oh yeah, for sure, but... maybe one more..." and she kissed me in a way that left me no doubt. I picked her up and carried her to the steps and then I chased after her up into our bedroom. The bed was a mess but she lay back on it and I jumped on top of her and it wasn't long before we were both naked.
We kissed and she let my hands go over her body just like the night before and yes, in her pussy where she felt very wet. I pulled back from the kiss and just said, "Do you again this morning?" She smiled and pulled me back to her.
We kissed and played and she stroked my cock and teased me, talking to it, "Aww, do you need to cum too?"
I pushed her back and she lay back and let her legs spread apart I looked and she saw me looking and she said, "I only have a little left in me, you can lick me if you want but you can fuck me too if you want."
I was horny from the night before so there wasn't a doubt in my mind and I climbed over her and got between her legs at the last moment I looked up at her and as I saw her face I realized what she wanted. I leaned over, opened the drawer, and pulled out a condom. I did look back up at her as I put it on and the look on her face had changed to this huge smile. She told me later that she loved the feelings she had with me that morning.
********************************************
Our ******** is home this week so that was also part of why she'd put more emphasis on the weekend. Last night as I lay alongside her bed stroking my cock I told her that I enjoyed the extremes she presented me with, an intense weekend where I was faced with her essentially being Paul’s. I didn't add that to be given a 'pity-fuck', offering herself to me as she did so excitedly on Sunday morning was intense. I just told her it had been a great night.
She asked me if it made me feel the way I wanted and I had to tell her that it was probably the best and most excited I'd felt about the 3 of us in a long long time. As I masturbated and we talked more last night she asked me how it was for me to use a condom with her on Sunday and she said she hoped I understood that while we had a lot of sex without one, she very much still wanted to restrict and deny me that way.
She giggled at just how turned on I was and how pre-cum was gushing from my cock as we talked. She told me that she knows that it is something that turns me on and that it made her feel wonderful that I was still into that part of what we'd been doing. She openly admitted to me in a hugely teasing way that, "you still aren't going to cum in me much baby" and explained that she had felt a lot of arousal at all of this on Saturday and then again on Sunday when she felt me in her with the condom on again. She said that it feels secure and that she likes how it is something that is now very specific about what I will not get to have with her until she says so.
I asked her how Paul was about everything and she giggled and said, "He’ll do anything I ask if we keep having sex together." He had even told her that it felt better to him that I was a little more involved with her when he was with her.
When she knew I was getting close she again went back to Saturday and she told me again how amazing she said she felt when he slid her panties off knowing I was next to her watching as she spread her legs for him.
I told her that I'd never really seen her from that specific point of view and hadn't realized how much of her pussy she could see as he fucked her. She said that my being next to her as she did turned her on and she wanted to know how I felt? I told her that it was, for me, something that so turned me on. I told her that I loved to see and to be holding her hand, being next to her, and feeling how she says she feels when she does that.
As I was stroking away and getting closer and closer I told her how erotic it was watching him push into her, how erotic it looked from where I was lying. Just as I was about to cum I told her that her asking and telling me that he was about to cum in her was probably the most intense moment for me in a long long time.
She giggled and as she said something about how intimate she felt with him; that was all I needed and I felt myself cum and cum and cum. She squealed as I stroked myself and then leaned over to me and kissed me and said she loved me and loved sharing all this with her.
I had to laugh at the time as I didn't know if 'all this' meant all of her and Paul and everything or if 'all this' meant a huge load of cum all over my stomach. I didn't need to ask, she scooped it all up and played with it and let me lick it off her fingers and I realized it meant both.
It turns out our kids won't overlap being home so Suzanna will likely have some time with Paul next Saturday again. Not here but likely at his place this time. As of now, no overnights here are planned. Not yet at least.
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It now seems increasingly clear to me that Paul is not himself a threat and never was. It was our personalities and perhaps my relative inexperience within our newly minted Alpha / Beta roles that got me where I was and communication, particularly my finally expressing a limit, that got me moving back together again. What was needed was a lot of honesty on both of our parts… and several bottles of wine over several days.
The ski weekend surely did change things. I know that it was partly due to it being so one-sided and that was something Suzanna had felt too. Even before that, when they were here, I know they like their privacy but I think she was previously hesitant to take control more. Now it’s becoming a little unnerving as her confidence is increasing all the time, but, it feels really good.
She is sharing more with me, physically and visually. The feeling was wonderful when she wanted me to hold her hand, I felt a lot more from her holding my hand too. In a way, it's something I think I wanted without realizing it either. I felt the most intense feelings when I felt her hand tighten around mine as he licked her.
I felt too that I don't even mind the sex at all; it's been a long time since I think I finally may have shed a few of the lingering male-inadequacy feelings, which was something Suzanna and I had talked about when she tried to push me to explain how and why it turns me on to see her with Paul. I gave her the same response as before and told her that it was her giving herself to him and not me, just how it made me feel inside.
It all seems a bit weird but as long as we stay as we are now in this mode, whether I am there or not in the future, participating or not, it feels like something has changed and that to me is exciting. I know it turned me on that it had been so long since I'd cum in her.
Even strangers are the thoughts of regret I have for giving in and not having waited longer. Knowing that it was only been Paul that had her bareback for so long is just something that just so turns me on.
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I was surprised when Suzanna came to me last night when our ******** went out for the evening and asked me if I wanted to 'mess around'. It surprised me because she had seen Paul this afternoon for a while, so this was out of character for her.
When we got in bed she asked me if I wanted to try something new with her. I was all ears, eager to expand our options and range.
She pulled me close and we kissed it was very erotic feeling her naked body under her nightshirt. Our hands were all over each other but when she pulled my cock out and began to stroke it was when she asked me if I wanted to know what she was thinking.
When I eagerly nodded yes she giggled and said, "What about if we have some fun with you in me without a condom."
"That’d be great!"
When she paused for a second I realized there was more to what she wanted; she then said, "But you pull out at the end?"
"So, I don't cum in you at the end?"
"If that's okay with you…" and then added, "If not, you can use a condom if you want... but I'd rather you didn't cum in me.”
She giggled at my visible response and said, "Which will it be?"
"Let’s try it."
For a moment she took on a serious voice and said, "I'm serious honey, I'd rather you didn’t tonight, you know... cum in me."
I looked at her and said that I understood and would do my best. She giggled and said, "I love you."
It was crazy, it felt even better than last time, she was VERY wet and we really got into it for a while but all the while she kept telling me, "Remember baby" and indeed, when the urge came around I did have the thought of staying in her but looking down at her, seeing that angelic face and just how hot she looked as she had a few mild orgasms, I realized she was doing this more for me than her and I determined to at least try to make it good for her.
I held off till the last moment and as I pulled out and stroked myself off, I rubbed the head of my cock up and down between her lips and around her clit and just as I let go, she responded in kind herself and it was kind of cool. My climax hit and my cum gushed out and was all over her stomach; a spurt or two had even reached as far as her breasts.
As I knelt there catching my breath she moved up onto her elbows and surveyed the situation and then looked at me and said, "Your turn to clean me up."
I didn't hesitate at all and gladly let her watch as I licked up my semen and where it had dribbled down to her pussy, I gave her several licks all around as well as inside, "just to be sure." She giggled but enjoyed my attention.
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Saturday and she looked adorable this morning picking out a matching bra and panty set. She turned and held different ones to her letting me see her and knowing she wanted my input on what she should wear. She reminded me it's been a while since she's been at his place and giggled that she hoped to be back by late afternoon but added with a smile, "Well, I promise it'll be before dinner honey."
I’m sitting here alone now with my cock out and myself gently masturbating while I figure out what I want to do with my day, one thing I will do is find a new book, this one is full.
