I can’t believe the day has come when I am finally able to share the circumstances behind the life-changing chain of events that led me to become the person I am today. Those who are familiar with me and my situation have said my story is “close to the saddest/pathetic thing” they have ever heard of. I do not deny these rumors, as I surely have realized long ago my place and role in life.
Although I have always denied the homosexual feelings I found myself possessing at times, I can’t deny them anymore, for my sexual desires are very commonly known today. I am a relatively small male, always have been thinking and having little muscle. In 2010, after my 2nd ***** driving arrest, I was sentenced to 3 years, on and after, in prison. This was a shock to me and my attorney, for we were prepared for 5 years of probation. The judge decided that I was to be an example. Okay, so I am sent to jail. “Oh, fuck”, I thought. Was I right? Yeah, I was in for a hell of a time.
During my incarceration, as little as three days, the prison community labeled me a “punk”. Punk is considered the bottom of the barrel in jail, right there with snitches. They caught on to my inferiority a few days in after they caught me on the phone crying my eyes out to my girlfriend, begging her to not leave me and visit. After my continual pleas, which during my demeanor was pitiful and laughable, she agreed to not leave me. “Oh my god, thank you Erin. You will not regret this...I love you so much.” said just before hanging up. At this point, given the shock and awe I had found myself in, I did not pay much attention to keeping my words and body language conspicuous. If the DUI was the first mistake, this was the second. An hour after the call, four black men came up to me in the rec yard. They asked me some questions about why I was there, and where I was from. As soon as I started talking to them, I noticed that I was incredibly scared of them. I mean, these guys could have snapped my thighbone in half if they wanted to. I then noticed they were a little too close for my comfort, which usually caps out as “awkward” when closer than 1 foot. Before we could finish the convo, the yard bell rang, which meant we were to go back in to get ready for lockdown. They told me that after the lockdown, they want to speak to me sometime and that I should come to their cell after. As clueless as I was, I knew that was a bad idea. After refusing, they told me that I might want to reconsider. After my next two words, “fuck that”, my life was impending a huge change.
After the lockdown was over, I had forgotten about the whole thing, I just wanted to be with my girlfriend. I missed her so much. As I was reading a letter I had just gotten from her, I was a little scared about her ability to wait for me. I was sick to my stomach as I realized she may not make it the whole bid. While crying again, I looked up to see 2 black guys I had just previously spoken to at rec. They told me to pack my things because I was being moved to a new cell. While in disbelief and skeptical, I told them to “just leave me alone!”. Shortly after, I was grabbed by my hair (which was considered a shaggy cut, certainly enough to lock into within your grasp) and pushed against the wall. “Listen bitch, you are gonna do everything that I or my niggas ask you because you are now our property. You don't have so much of as a clue to understanding how many new experiences you are in for.” Like an idiot, I tugged away from him, just to get my face smashed into the bed frame. I got knocked the fuck out.
When I woke, I was not in my cell anymore. I was in the cell of the blacks whom I had recently became acquainted with. Additionally, one more man was standing in the corner. This man was about 6’5, black, and all muscle. Once I came too, I was told to sit down on the floor. At this point, I was ready to cooperate. I was told by these men that to start things off, I might want to cancel the visit tonight and tomorrow (which I was thinking about all day and looking forwards to, so I could see my girlfriend) because I have a lot of things to do. They told me that “in jail, the weak don’t last long” and that because of my body type, voice, and cowardly feelings, I was going to be “punk”. I was considered a female by the prisoners and I would be lucky if I could change it when I got out because I had no chance of redemption there for the next 3 ½ years. They told me that if I did not cooperate with them, then I would be very sorry, more sorry than I could imagine, so I better cancel that visit. Unfortunately for me, I had not yet learned my lesson. I rolled my eyes at them like a schoolgirl, dismissing their threats. Immediately after, I was blindsided by a spin kick from one of the inmates (I still don’t know which one did it!). As I lay on the ground crying, the leader runs over to me on the ground and grabs my face with his hands, and squeezed, leaving my face all scrunched up like a fool. He said “you are about to get fucked and serve me and three other men, do you or do you want us to tell her?” My screams are muffled, as I wriggle around on the ground trying to break free. I looked down to see he was only holding me with one hand and I still couldn't break free. Another man in the group then says “Oh shit son, this fag has a sexy little hunnie!” I was sick to my stomach as I heard the group tell me how hot this girl was and how they want to get some of that ass. They decided that I will soon be the next best thing for her. “Us niggas share our bitches here, my nigga Damon is looking for a wifey" I might have to set them up.” I started trembling and begging for them to not hurt her or fuck her, but to only punish me. I learned that they did not heed my request, and realized that I was gonna get punished anyway.
While still on the ground, the group all took off their pants and shirts. “Open up you pussy ass nigga”. My mouth was filled with a very large cock, so big that I literally could not get any air through my mouth, leaving me to breathe through my nose in his pubes. The black man slowly pushed his hips into my face, leaving a very surprised and disturbing look on my face. The gang laughed like howling wolves, as tears stream down my beat-red face and say “hahaha this bitch is softer than baby shit!! what a female!!” The pace then picked up and I felt the thick penis stretching my throat. At this point, I was ready to die from humiliation and the lack of oxygen. He pulled his dick out for a second to tell the group that I am sleeping with him tonight. Once they left, he pulled his dick out and told me that I was his baby girl and that if I ever deny it then he would split me in two. I realized that I had no way out and that I had to submit.
During the next hour, I was told of my expectations. I was told that I must clean the room every day and never question anything he asks. He explained how he loves a painted bitch, so gave me a packet of kool-aid to put on my lips and cheeks. Then, a ruffled pair of purple paint was given to me (I think they were previous punks because they looked weathered”. He said that I must always have some of these showings so that everyone knew that I was his girl. He also told me that whenever we leave, I must hold his inside pocket so that even the guards and other bitches knew I was a bottom feeder. He said that it would be best for me if I started shrinking my clothes and gaining fat because he likes a thick bitch. As I sit in horror realizing my fate, I was devastated to hear that because I was difficult earlier, my girlfriend will have to realize the truth of my sexual orientation…”did you call her and tell her that you had my dick down your throat today or were you scared she may hang up in disgust and try to write me a letter?” These words became a precursor to the rest of the week. “Do you want to think about it on some more cock?” as he shoved his semi-erect cock back in my mouth. Earlier he told me to always respond with yes sir or no sir, and that it had better always be the right answer. As he asked me if I wanted to think about it with some more cock, my “no, sir” responses were garbled by the cock lodged in my stretched mouth.With an evil gusto, he laughs as I try to communicate with him by shoving it in further.
Although I have always denied the homosexual feelings I found myself possessing at times, I can’t deny them anymore, for my sexual desires are very commonly known today. I am a relatively small male, always have been thinking and having little muscle. In 2010, after my 2nd ***** driving arrest, I was sentenced to 3 years, on and after, in prison. This was a shock to me and my attorney, for we were prepared for 5 years of probation. The judge decided that I was to be an example. Okay, so I am sent to jail. “Oh, fuck”, I thought. Was I right? Yeah, I was in for a hell of a time.
During my incarceration, as little as three days, the prison community labeled me a “punk”. Punk is considered the bottom of the barrel in jail, right there with snitches. They caught on to my inferiority a few days in after they caught me on the phone crying my eyes out to my girlfriend, begging her to not leave me and visit. After my continual pleas, which during my demeanor was pitiful and laughable, she agreed to not leave me. “Oh my god, thank you Erin. You will not regret this...I love you so much.” said just before hanging up. At this point, given the shock and awe I had found myself in, I did not pay much attention to keeping my words and body language conspicuous. If the DUI was the first mistake, this was the second. An hour after the call, four black men came up to me in the rec yard. They asked me some questions about why I was there, and where I was from. As soon as I started talking to them, I noticed that I was incredibly scared of them. I mean, these guys could have snapped my thighbone in half if they wanted to. I then noticed they were a little too close for my comfort, which usually caps out as “awkward” when closer than 1 foot. Before we could finish the convo, the yard bell rang, which meant we were to go back in to get ready for lockdown. They told me that after the lockdown, they want to speak to me sometime and that I should come to their cell after. As clueless as I was, I knew that was a bad idea. After refusing, they told me that I might want to reconsider. After my next two words, “fuck that”, my life was impending a huge change.
After the lockdown was over, I had forgotten about the whole thing, I just wanted to be with my girlfriend. I missed her so much. As I was reading a letter I had just gotten from her, I was a little scared about her ability to wait for me. I was sick to my stomach as I realized she may not make it the whole bid. While crying again, I looked up to see 2 black guys I had just previously spoken to at rec. They told me to pack my things because I was being moved to a new cell. While in disbelief and skeptical, I told them to “just leave me alone!”. Shortly after, I was grabbed by my hair (which was considered a shaggy cut, certainly enough to lock into within your grasp) and pushed against the wall. “Listen bitch, you are gonna do everything that I or my niggas ask you because you are now our property. You don't have so much of as a clue to understanding how many new experiences you are in for.” Like an idiot, I tugged away from him, just to get my face smashed into the bed frame. I got knocked the fuck out.
When I woke, I was not in my cell anymore. I was in the cell of the blacks whom I had recently became acquainted with. Additionally, one more man was standing in the corner. This man was about 6’5, black, and all muscle. Once I came too, I was told to sit down on the floor. At this point, I was ready to cooperate. I was told by these men that to start things off, I might want to cancel the visit tonight and tomorrow (which I was thinking about all day and looking forwards to, so I could see my girlfriend) because I have a lot of things to do. They told me that “in jail, the weak don’t last long” and that because of my body type, voice, and cowardly feelings, I was going to be “punk”. I was considered a female by the prisoners and I would be lucky if I could change it when I got out because I had no chance of redemption there for the next 3 ½ years. They told me that if I did not cooperate with them, then I would be very sorry, more sorry than I could imagine, so I better cancel that visit. Unfortunately for me, I had not yet learned my lesson. I rolled my eyes at them like a schoolgirl, dismissing their threats. Immediately after, I was blindsided by a spin kick from one of the inmates (I still don’t know which one did it!). As I lay on the ground crying, the leader runs over to me on the ground and grabs my face with his hands, and squeezed, leaving my face all scrunched up like a fool. He said “you are about to get fucked and serve me and three other men, do you or do you want us to tell her?” My screams are muffled, as I wriggle around on the ground trying to break free. I looked down to see he was only holding me with one hand and I still couldn't break free. Another man in the group then says “Oh shit son, this fag has a sexy little hunnie!” I was sick to my stomach as I heard the group tell me how hot this girl was and how they want to get some of that ass. They decided that I will soon be the next best thing for her. “Us niggas share our bitches here, my nigga Damon is looking for a wifey" I might have to set them up.” I started trembling and begging for them to not hurt her or fuck her, but to only punish me. I learned that they did not heed my request, and realized that I was gonna get punished anyway.
While still on the ground, the group all took off their pants and shirts. “Open up you pussy ass nigga”. My mouth was filled with a very large cock, so big that I literally could not get any air through my mouth, leaving me to breathe through my nose in his pubes. The black man slowly pushed his hips into my face, leaving a very surprised and disturbing look on my face. The gang laughed like howling wolves, as tears stream down my beat-red face and say “hahaha this bitch is softer than baby shit!! what a female!!” The pace then picked up and I felt the thick penis stretching my throat. At this point, I was ready to die from humiliation and the lack of oxygen. He pulled his dick out for a second to tell the group that I am sleeping with him tonight. Once they left, he pulled his dick out and told me that I was his baby girl and that if I ever deny it then he would split me in two. I realized that I had no way out and that I had to submit.
During the next hour, I was told of my expectations. I was told that I must clean the room every day and never question anything he asks. He explained how he loves a painted bitch, so gave me a packet of kool-aid to put on my lips and cheeks. Then, a ruffled pair of purple paint was given to me (I think they were previous punks because they looked weathered”. He said that I must always have some of these showings so that everyone knew that I was his girl. He also told me that whenever we leave, I must hold his inside pocket so that even the guards and other bitches knew I was a bottom feeder. He said that it would be best for me if I started shrinking my clothes and gaining fat because he likes a thick bitch. As I sit in horror realizing my fate, I was devastated to hear that because I was difficult earlier, my girlfriend will have to realize the truth of my sexual orientation…”did you call her and tell her that you had my dick down your throat today or were you scared she may hang up in disgust and try to write me a letter?” These words became a precursor to the rest of the week. “Do you want to think about it on some more cock?” as he shoved his semi-erect cock back in my mouth. Earlier he told me to always respond with yes sir or no sir, and that it had better always be the right answer. As he asked me if I wanted to think about it with some more cock, my “no, sir” responses were garbled by the cock lodged in my stretched mouth.With an evil gusto, he laughs as I try to communicate with him by shoving it in further.
