Journal of a Journey - Book 52

Last night she asked me to tell her what turned me on and what made me really horny to think about and to tell her about it.

As I started to get my thoughts together she lay back on the bed, spread her legs and asked me what I thought about when I looked at her naked body. She coaxed me along, asking me if I thought about Robert; if I ever thought about, "it being Robbie's pussy?”

I started to relax a bit and she encouraged me to continue and just say whatever turned me on. I told her that it turned me on to think about him having sex with her.

She asked me, "you know, lately he's been having more sex with me than you. What do you think about that?".

I told her that it turned me on that she spread her legs for him. She cooed and squealed as I started to get into it when I told her how it turned me on to know it was still his cum in her that I could see was glistening.

With that she leaned forward and spread her pussy open and told me, "he cums a lot in me you know". I told her it turned me on that she let him cum so deep inside her. She teased me right back saying sometimes when she's not even thinking about it that she can feel it being all wet and slippery between her pussy lips and how sometimes in the bathroom she'll have to wipe up a bit more than usual.

I can't say that I felt comfortable or it felt totally normal talking all slutty-like about her like this but she encouraged me and kept saying that, "it's okay if this stuff turns you on .... I love sharing it with you". She told me how she likes to feel him fill her.

I was now getting the impression that each time she was giving me something to start with and she was looking toward me to continue on and add my own words and thoughts.

She told me again how hot his cum would feel at times and I told her that it turned me on to think of her pussy being filled with his cum all night long. She looked at me and, teasingly but also with this undeniable sense of making sure I was still horny, told me, "you know what you need to do though, right?"

I knew it; I knew it was coming and while I had a fleeting thought of pushing it to feel her pussy again, at the same time I looked at her and told her, "you have no idea how much it turns me on to put this on right now!"

She squealed and said that she felt so wicked, "... only having my lover cum in me" and she encouraged me, "come on baby, you can still fuck me really hard and deep.... get that condom on.” We both laughed at how hard my cock was as I stretched the condom over it. I didn't even worry or have a second thought about getting soft, there was just no way.

As I pressed the tip of my cock against her now swollen open pussy she looked at me and said, "I love that you'll let me have this with Robert" and she proceeded to tell me how totally sexual she felt as she watched my plastic cased cock slip into her. She moaned as I pushed deeper into her and she said with this incredibly sexy almost slur about how good he fucks her and she looked up at me and said, "I think I feel looser, what do you think?”

Oh man did that seize me, as I pushed into her and it was like feeling a bolt of electricity surging through me. I didn't resist, I didn't hold back, I told her that I could feel her pussy wasn't as tight. I looked down at her and said, "it turns me on that he's stretching you out .... I can feel it .... oh god....." and then I started going at her.

She must have cum as I started in on her because she shook beneath me and even through the condom I could feel her juices (and his) running out of her. Where sometimes there can be that sense of stickiness with a condom, there was none of that last night, not with the flood of wetness that came pouring out of her.

I pushed hard into her deep and she moaned; I looked down and asked her in the heat of passion whether, "Robert fucks her like this" and I pushed hard again at her. She looked back at me and said that, "he likes it when I pull back like this" and she moved to spread her legs even more apart so her pussy was totally open for me.

I looked down at her and asked did she do that to get him getting to cum in her so deep and she said something like, "yeah baby, but it is only him who does ..." and then she looked up at me with the most knowing look in her eyes and said, " ... come on baby, fill that condom for me".

I tried to keep talking like she wanted me to but I couldn't, a moment later I let loose with an intense, really intense orgasm that I thought might burst the condom and it was a moment later that I realized I'd sort of collapsed down against her and that she was breathing just as heavily as me.

"That was incredibly baby," was all I heard her whispering in my ear as I lay against her enjoying the moment.


She’s encouraging me to open up about the stuff that turns me on and she said that she's trying to do the same things and admitted that her openness about talking about everything is part of that. I have to say that it worked and that it really left me speechless on Saturday. I mean we've had good sex together but, wow, that was incredible.

When I finally did cum it felt like my entire body was a part of it. As I lay still on top of her she hugged me for a few minutes but then sort of coughed and I could feel my cock starting to slip out of her. I leaned up and she reached down and pulled my cock out of her holding the condom around the base so it didn't slip off. I knelt back on my knees and beneath her hands I could see her pussy spread apart after I pulled out of it.

She sat up and pulled the condom off my cock and giggled at how soft I'd gotten until she looked in the tip of the condom and held it up in front of me. She pinched and squeezed the tip and exclaimed, "I haven't seen you cum this much in ages ..." (even I was surprised) then she reached forward, cupped my balls and leaned into me, "... see, I told you you'd enjoy it if you'd let yourself go a bit". She kissed me, looked me in the eye and said, "I love you sharing this with me".

I felt comfortable and certainly relaxed enough to say, "it's kind of weird telling you all this stuff" and she kissed me again and said again how it's okay for me to get off to crazy stuff and she admitted herself that she'd felt the same at first but now wanted to share it. She looked at me and said that she knows that when I'm alone masturbating that I have some really kinky and nasty thoughts about her; she said that it's okay and that she wants me to feel like I can share them with her.

She giggled and holding the condom in her fingers said, "it's taken me a lot to be able to tell you that it turns me on seeing this and being able to tell you how it turns me on that it's not in me".

I told her that it's not easy (and it's not) but I will say that maybe sharing some of it with her could be fun.


Last night I knew she was tired but she also knew that I was horny and as we lay in bed she turned to me and said, "I'd love to watch you if you are at all horny ..." and then she added in this cool sexy kind of voice, "... and I think you are". I turned to her and asked her if she'd kiss me and she smiled, "okay". A second later she turned the lights down, kissed me and she put her hand down under the covers and pushed my boxers off and started to stroke me. "I'll help you get started" and surprised the heck out of me when she pushed the covers down and leaned over to suck on me. I immediately went to full attention and a moment later she sucked her mouth off my cock and then just said, "your turn".

She lay back on the bed next to me but she rolled up onto one side so she could watch.

I knew what was coming and sure enough she said, "tell me what you're thinking.....". As I started to stroke slowly she leaned in and whispered closer in my ear, "come on baby, tell me what you're thinking about".

Slowly an old fantasy of mine crept into my head and I began to tell her. I told her how we were away skiing and how she met a couple of guys in the bar while she waited for me at the end of the day. She giggled because she knows this fantasy turns me on as I've shared it with her in the past but she asked for more details, of what I was thinking so she would try to share them if she could.

I told her that in my head she and I go back to our condo only to discover that the guys she met in the bar are in the adjoining/neighbouring condo and they invite us to unlock and open the adjoining door and that we should share their room service provided dinner and then some fun. When we did so it was to find there are 5 of them in the room, 3 more that we hadn't met in the bar.

She moaned her approval as I got to the sexy parts where she gets friendly with one, then two and then all of the guys. I described to her how I'd think of her lying forward over the coffee table while one of the guys fucks her from behind. I could hear her breathing get deeper as I spoke and she encouraged me and told me, "... tell me more".

I told her how we all were watching as the first guy finally came in her pussy, the first time that night and how others then took their place 'in line' as we all watched. She moaned more in my ear as I told her how she would then feel comfortable about strolling around the open condos in just her panties and a bra or less and how, in exchange for sharing their food and drinks, how she'd make herself available for all of us for the rest of the trip.

"What would I have to do?" she asked and I told her that she'd make her pussy available for us all any time. I told her all of the 'scenes' that I'd held in my head for so long; how she might go to the other room where 2 of the guys were looking at the TV showing a porn-channel and how she'd fuck both of them while watching the dirty movies; how different guys would shower with her in the mornings before we'd go out skiing or afterwards when we'd get back.

She was very intent on watching me and commented how big my cock looked and how horny I must be, "... seeing me with all of those guys". She leaned down next to me and said, "what thought makes you cum baby; come on, tell me how dirty I get".

I moaned back that, "you'd spend the night with one or more of the guys".... "

She coaxed me, "Yeah, tell me more"

"... and I wouldn't see you till you were cooking your eggs in the morning"....

My hand was a blur by then and I knew the thought in my head and as soon as I said it that I was going to boil over.

"mmmmm, what else? Come on baby, tell me...." she cooed in my ear.

"You're just wearing a t-shirt and no panties ..." In my head I could see it and for the first time I was going to tell her, " .... as you stand there I can see a trickle of cum running down your inner thigh".

She moaned as I said it; I don't think she expected me to say that but it was more my response that mattered anyway, as I said it I closed my eyes and visualized the scene I'd played out so many times in my head. As with those times in the past, this was no different, I started to cum again and as a million thoughts flooded my head as I spewed my load all over my stomach. For a while I was lost in the vision and it was only her moaning at seeing me cum that brought me out of my trance and back to reality.

I was done. The orgasm on Saturday had been really intense and now, on top of that, these two intense orgasms that easily left me totally satisfied and yes, totally drained. She leaned up on that elbow and told me, "how beautiful it is watching you" and again how she loved that my cum was all over my stomach ... and again, that it wasn't in her. She trailed her fingers through the pool, kissed me and as she did, slid her fingers into my mouth so that as we kissed we shared the taste of my cum which made her squeal with delight.

I can't say that it's easy telling my wife what nasty depraved thoughts and scenes that get me off or the weird slutty thoughts I have about her either but she wants me to try and I have to say, it's definitely something that's very different.


I've always considered myself lucky since the first time Suzanna and I went out and things just seemed to click without much effort. However, I am still not totally comfortable with essentially baring my soul to her with this kind of deep-seated admission/confession stuff. I don't think I'm any different than other guys with the nasty/sluttiness of some of my thoughts other than in my case Suzanna has fulfilled some of them.

For years and years before we ever brought other guys into our relationship I can remember always wanting to feel her orgasm first, to make sure she had the pleasure she deserved, but I admit to also wanting her to feel as if she fit more into the fantasy in my mind of, at the time, her telling me "it's your turn". Now that she wants to hear more of those admissions I guess it's going to be a situational kind of thing but right now, outside the moment, I don't know that I could simply open up to her.

She did say though when I asked her earlier last week if she was still wet from him, that she felt that was the first time that I'd said it in that way. She said 'yes' to me knowing it would turn me on and to let her see if I 'could' open up more. She said my reaction was one of the things that led her to encourage me to tell her more.

I don't know where she's going with this; it seems she wants this to ramp-up what we do together (as if it wasn't already hot) but I also think she wants to add this to our time together as a way maybe of making up for the whole condom thing and to give us something else to share together.

I wonder if there is some hidden 'conspiracy thing' going on here but, whatever, for now I'm finding it refreshing to play along with this. I suppose I have a bit of a fear in a way that maybe she'll want to try to fulfil some of my fantasies that are probably a bit too much for reality so that is sure to be a conversation we need to have.


She’s admitted that over time, my original desires have now been fully embraced by her and she gets a little enjoyment seeing my torment at times. From how things seem and feel between us, it seems like she's a little more able to share her excitement when my own admissions make it easier for her to open up. When I think about it and from her point of view, trying to think like her, maybe she was a little reluctant to share the details of her time with Robert, or indeed, any of the more graphic parts without knowing that I was enjoying them or even thinking that way myself. I also totally believe that she is compensating for the condoms in her own way which is giving me a surprising kick.

She's home this evening but has already told me she'll be staying after work tomorrow and will be home a little late. She saw me looking at her as she said it to our ******** over the dinner table and she gave me the most intense knowing-smile back. After dinner she came up to me and said, "you can have fun thinking about me tomorrow night like you did last week", gave me a peck on the cheek and walked out.


I have asked Suzanna if she's had any thoughts about introducing me to Robert and hinted about 'maybe more' but she steadfastly rejected the suggestion and added that he too does not want to meet me.

I know it would be easy for me to sneak in at the bar near her work where the after-work crowd hangs out and watch but then I'd feel like I'm spying on her and I'm just not sure I want to do that. For sure, if she saw me that would annoy her and in truth, from my point of view and being totally honest, it's very intense knowing there's someone out there who you don't know who is fucking your wife!


I openly admit that I've curtailed masturbation substantially in preference of waiting for it to be my turn with her. However, I know that if we don't do anything together on Wednesday's, that it's very unlikely that we'll be having sex before Saturday. Our 'normal routine' seems to be slipping but that's enough for me and I just have to cope with the angst and thoughts and such that all just build me up until our next time.

Take tonight for example, my ******** and I had dinner together for because mom was 'exercising' and would eat when she got home. We finished our pizza and Suzanna didn't get in until 45 minutes later, about 7:15pm.

I was already horny thinking of her with him after our time together over the weekend. When she came in she gave me a big kiss and then whispered to me, "I need to run upstairs .... I'm kinda messy".

I watched her run upstairs and at the top of the steps she looked back at me and crooked her finger saying I should follow her. In the bedroom she said, "you can just watch" and she proceeded to get undressed including pulling off her panties that were obviously very wet in the crotch. After she put them in the hamper and was pulling on a clean pair she giggled at me, "he was so horny tonight".

It was only after she'd pulled up the clean panties that I noticed the rest of her and could see her breasts were reddened and her nipples looked a little swollen. She pulled a t-shirt over her head and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and said, "Mmm, it was good; we'll have fun tomorrow" and she gave me a peck on the cheek and went down to the kitchen to get something to eat.

I sat in the bedroom waiting until my hard on went down before I followed her downstairs.....!


Tuesday night was the last time I added anything to my journal and even now I'm still kind of horny thinking about what I wrote. I can still see her stepping out of her panties as she got changed bt what's really getting to me more is that it's clear she feels much more comfortable about sharing and telling me stuff like she did. Later that night as we were getting settled in bed she hugged me and said that she loved that she could be more relaxed about all of this and, in a way, she's flaunting herself a bit more easily too; I suppose now she 'knows' that this really does turn me on and that I don't mind what's happening.

I told her that knowing how she was all night really made me want her. She giggled and teased me that I'll 'just have to wait' till Wednesday' but as we lay there she did start to tell me more about what she talks to Rob about.

She said that he too has been trying to get her to be a bit more vocal. I guess I never appreciated it before but while Suzanna can be loud in terms of moans and squeals I realized that he had a point, she really doesn't talk about what she wants when we're fucking. I'd even say that maybe the most she'd said in the past was 'harder' or stuff like that but she'd never been one to lie there and look up and be really explicit about what she wants. She said that he's been trying to get her to do so and on Tuesday night she told me that he'd gotten her to tell him 'your cock feels so good in me' and other stuff. Looking back that seems like an extension of the banter they've played with about him getting her pregnant.


She saved the best for last night.

Our ********, enjoying her summer vacation, went out to the mall and to the movies with friends and told us she wasn't going to be back until after 11pm. Suzanna came home after work as usual about 6pm and finding the house to ourselves suggested we change into something more comfy (in other words, sexy) while we got some dinner.

It was fun being in the bedroom watching her undress. She took everything off other than her panties on and then put on just a very sexy camisole over it, that was all. I told her that seeing her like that made me really horny for her. She giggled and said, "Sorry, you'll just have to wait" as she stood and watched me change out of my work clothes to pulling on some boxers and a comfy shirt. She obviously liked seeing that my cock was engorged already!

I wasn't totally sure what we were going to be doing and I told her that I wouldn't pester or bother her, so I didn't but I did tell her as we were putting some dinner together that she was driving me crazy wearing just panties all the time. She turned, kissed me and said, "that's the idea". Her panties were really snug-fitting and I could certainly make out a good deal of camel-toe and the sight didn't help me much either!

It was in bed later that things started to click and flow better for us. We had a glass of wine or two with dinner and afterwards as we put the dishes away we found ourselves in a passionate kiss against the kitchen counter after which I chased her upstairs. We fell onto the bed laughing and I rolled over on top of her and started to kiss her again.

Again, she told me not to ask or bother her about having sex with her so I was patient and waited for some sort of signal. After we kissed some more she looked up at me and said "are you going to be okay if we don't have sex tonight but we just have some fun with you?"

I tried to hide my disappointment but my cock was still hard and gave away my true answer for, no matter what, just being in bed with her dressed sexy like that gave me such an intense feeling. It didn't help to see that by now her nipples were hard and she could see me looking at them too.

She teased me, "awww, did you want to fuck me tonight?" I nodded my head but she said that she's still feeling 'the effects' of her time with Robert on Tuesday adding, "I told you he was horny last night" and repeated that, no, we weren't going to be fucking.

She asked me to tell her about what I was feeling. I took a gulp of air and I tried to let go and talk about it all.

I told her that she had me horny from what she was wearing. She egged me on and I just kept on talking telling her that knowing her panties were covering her pussy made me horny to think about Robert being 'the last one in you'. She told me that sometimes things really are in sync with them and that Tuesday was one of those days.

She encouraged me to keep going and the funny thing was the more I talked, the easier it got. I told her that she'd really turned me on last Tuesday and that it made me so horny for her knowing that he fucked her twice and that her letting me see 'the evidence' when she got changed had left me longing for her. She giggled as she pulled my rock hard cock out from my boxers and said, "I can see".

She sat there next to me in these tight panties and this silky camisole while she just gently stroked my cock. I told her that seeing his cum in her turned me on and she smiled and said, "Then you should be turned on all the time then baby".

It just seemed easy to talk to her and she seemed to want to listen to me. I told her that I'd been thinking about what she'd said, about how Robert probably fucks her more than I do now. She moaned a little as I told her that I loved that she wanted it from him like she did. I told her that one of the things that turned me on the most was to think that it's been a while now since I've cum in her. She moaned again and said that was one of the things that surprised her, that it really gives her such a sexy feeling to know she's only letting her lover cum in her.

I told her that while I didn't totally like condoms, that doing this with her, I said it again, "that only Robert's getting to cum in you while I use condoms was very arousing for me."

She leaned over and kissed me deeply and said, "thank you" and I knew she was thanking me for putting her desire above mine for now. I told her that it turned me on to look at her, to see her with her panties on and that knowing I wasn't getting to cum in her, that it was a huge turn on for me and I told her that, "it makes me want you even more". She cooed and moaned and continued to stroke me herself as I lay there.

She could tell what I was saying was turning me on, it was so obvious. I thought she might want me to take over but instead she just smeared my pre-cum all around my cockhead and kept on stroking me. I told her that when I think that I haven't felt her pussy bare on my cock in weeks now that it turned me on to think about her only having Robert that way.

She moaned back that she felt so wickedly sexy from doing that and said, "I feel so naughty denying my husband something like that". I managed to moan back and say that in some ways I liked knowing I had a condom on and that she wanted to only share her pussy bare with Robert. She squealed at that and her hand started to move even faster and faster.

It was around then that she started to say that she loved sharing all of this with me and then she started to say that she'd been opening up about other fantasies with Robert and that they'd been playing around with them, role-playing and such. She said that she'd become a little more comfortable about playing with him with the pregnancy thing and said, "... he said I should be on my knees ..." she looked at me and said, "... he calls it my 'breeding position'" and she went on to tell me how she liked to fantasize with him like that.

"Your turn, tell me something you fantasize about baby". I was so horny by now that I just went with it. I told her that one of my fantasies that got me off was thinking about her with a lover at a resort like when we were in Jamaica. She moaned her approval at the thought and kept on stroking me; I know she felt my cock get thicker and harder as I let myself go.

Maybe I shouldn't have opened up as much as I did. I don't know, it still feels weird telling your wife that you fantasize about her doing things as I do, but I did. I told her how seeing her in panties now reminded me of the thoughts I have with her wearing just her bikini bottom and how her lover would have had his way with her before she came out to the beach.

She slowed down stroking me as I continued to tell her my story and how it drove me crazy with desire for her when I thought about all the other couples on the beach and how most of the women there were probably full of their partner's cum. Her hand almost came to a stop as I told her how I thought it'd be hot that she'd be lying there with her lover's cum in her beneath that bikini bottom.

My cock was rock hard as she asked, "would you let me run back to the room in the middle of the day, you know, for some more?"

I moaned back that I thought it'd be really hot if I saw her walking back towards me afterwards knowing where she'd been.

She squealed and asked me, "Jamaica huh; Would my lover be a black guy?" and as she did, her hand started moving again.

I was intrigued at the question for she'd never expressed a desire or even fantasised about a black guy before. I held that thought but I told her that in my head that her lover had gone with us on vacation.

She nearly ripped my cock off my body as she moaned and said, "you mean he'd still be the only one to cum in me? ..... Oooh, that sounds so hot baby....." and right about then I think she realized just how close I was as she kept it going. She teased me that, "you'd use condoms the whole time, wouldn't you? ..... and, at night, when we're out to a romantic dinner, just you and I, it'd be my lover's stuff in me and not yours".

I knew she was into it and to be honest, I was too. I answered her suggesting, "we could get a suite or something". Before I could finish my sentence she interrupted by saying, "I could choose which of you to sleep with then, couldn't I?”

My cock gave a jerk and she realized just how close I was because I started to moan and she said, "that thought turns you on doesn't it, that I'd sleep with him while we're away rather than you?"

I moaned back, "uh huh" and she kept going for a little longer and said in this sexy voice, "would you watch?"

I moaned back another, "uh huh".

She leaned down and said, "you know he'd fuck me every day, don't you?" and I guess she could feel me start to tremble and tighten up and she whispered even softer and more sexier "you'd like that wouldn't you? He could have me, like you said, before breakfast even....”

I don't know if she said anything more for my head seemed to explode and like a second later I just erupted all over her hands. She was surprised at first, maybe she didn't know I was right on the edge, but she moaned out loud as she felt me start to cum and then really slowed it down and to milk the last out of me with these intense full-strokes all the way until she teased just beneath the tip of my cock.

I actually had to take her hand off it at the end as she'd made me so sensitive from how she had gotten me off!

Afterwards she came down really close to me, hugged me and said, "it's just play; that's the point".

I told her that I wasn't used to sharing so much of 'that kind of stuff'. She looked at me and said that it's okay and, "... I have my own share of 'nasty thoughts' and we should have fun sharing them." She looked at me again but this time she said, "It's okay that I'm a slut in your fantasies ...," giggled and said, "I'm one in mine too".

The moment passed by and we suddenly realized our ******** would be home soon. She leaned down and gave me a kiss that, combined with her nasty girl comments, made me feel a lot more at ease.


I'm of two schools of thought regarding vacation. On the one hand, I think she'd like me to continue to use condoms with her. It's something she seems very intent on and, apparently, gets very aroused by. However, on the other hand I do think what will actually happen is, as when we were in Jamaica, that I will be taking her away to somewhere where she can totally disconnect (even with our kids around) and that we shall pick right back up to being our old selves.

However, I admit to being very, very surprised at my response to using condoms with her. It triggers such intense thoughts and feelings that arouse me incredibly. I suppose this is one area where her desires have spilled over into my own psyche.


She thinks I am "'having my fun' right now as I told her earlier that, "last night just left me wanting more". She giggled and said, "Tough, for you're done with me till Friday or Saturday....." which answered my unasked question about when she'd see him again!


I honestly don't think Suzanna doubts that I want her. What I think (and am seeing confirmed) is that she has been hesitant to ask for things that she's wanted, like the whole condom thing, because she's been concerned about how I'd respond to it. I can sense that she is now coming to believe that I am being honest with her when I tell her that I'm okay with it. I think because we've never really played with it before in terms of being explicit with each other was because she wasn't comfortable with it.

Maybe I'm wrong but I think that she's questioned it because she has realised that previously in her recollections and fantasies she's been more focussed on what she's done with her lovers rather than involving me in it. I honestly can't recall when we teased and turned each other on while we were fucking by talking about her and how she feels and what I'm thinking as I'm fucking her is that we've just never shared that sort of thing. She's always turned me on by telling me that he did this or he did that and, yeah sure, it turns me on like crazy but I honestly don't think I really ever took the time or approach that she's encouraging both of us to take.

For me, I guess it's that I've always not liked sharing my thoughts about Suzanna and how, in my fantasies I make up such nasty scenes like the ski weekend or on vacation, etc. I suppose that tomorrow or Saturday I'll get to hear about her own nasty thoughts.

It's almost 1am; I'll finish off this entry by saying it's a weird feeling to be so content about things.


Friday evening and when she came home after her 'after work party' our ******** was already out. It wasn't a surprise for I had already texted her telling her we would have the house to ourselves when she got home. She replied that she was already on her way home and she knew she didn't have to be on guarded behaviour or anything like that.

I can't describe it any other way about how turned on and weirdly satisfying it is to me when she comes in and I can tell straightaway that she's had good sex with Robert. (It’s the same when at work sometimes when on a Monday I can look around and see that some of my women co-workers and I can just tell they've had good sex over the weekend.) There's just a look on her face, a different way she carries herself, a different gait in the way she walks.

We kissed and she had this smile on her face as we did and she seemed to genuinely want me to tell her everything that I'm thinking when we get back together and Friday was no different.

I wasn't totally sure we'd be messing around on Friday night but now it seemed kind of obvious that we would. She was very playful and encouraged me, she teased, "Do you want to know what I've been doing?" When I nodded yes in an eager way she invited me up to our bedroom and said, "you can go find out" and she said I could undress her.

As I did as she asked she told me she wanted to hear more about what I was thinking. I knew from last week's conversation just what she wanted me to tell her.

I told her as I unbuttoned her top that I loved knowing he'd done the same; as I unclasped her bra I told her how turned on it made me to see her breasts kind of reddened up and I told her that I loved knowing she'd let him suck at them; as I felt them in my hands I told her how they felt kind of swollen and I asked her if he was rough with them. She smiled as I too leaned down to lick and suck at them. In my head I could almost taste his saliva left on them and I told her that turned me on and made me want her even more.

It didn't take long for us to get naked. I told her that I wanted to see all of her, to see what I knew that he'd seen and had, all of her, and that I loved that it was my turn. The crotch of her panties was damp as I slid them off of her and as I knelt there I immediately told her that her pussy looked awesome. And it did, her labia were swollen and as she spread her legs a little for me they parted and revealed the tender red/pink inside of her vagina. My cock was hard already and she giggled at me and said for me to tell her more.

She not only wants me to tell her what I'm thinking but she really seems to want to hear that I am excited and turned on about what she's done with him. I told her that her pussy looked beautiful and that it turned me on that Robert had done that to her.

She smiled and cooed sexily back at me. As she did so a little dribble of cum appeared and I told her, "... it turns me on so much to see his cum in you".

She looked back at me and said, "you can go down there for a little lick if you want" and she giggled at how fast I moved into position. Just as I was about to dip in she put her hand on the top of my head and said, "just the outside baby, just the outside".

I looked at her as she said that and I just went for broke and said, "you have no idea how much it turns me on to know what's inside you and that you don't want me to disturb it!". With that she sort of squealed and she pushed my head down further.

There is always a moment when I lean in to lick her that I have a flurry of intense thoughts including, yes, that again I'm about to lick and taste his cum. I took a gentle lick at the outer edge of her labia and she responded with a moan and by pulling her legs back. I licked up to her clit and all around the edges deliberately avoiding the now gaping opening to her vagina. She was moaning and I looked up and over her body and told her she looked beautiful and told her, "it turns me on like crazy that he fucked you".

She raised up on her elbows and said, "you can lick a little bit but don't push too far inside". She stared at me as I moved to do just that. I gently probed into her spread pussy and pushed my tongue between her swollen pussy lips and just into her vagina and then I licked firmly from the very bottom up to the top and as I licked over her clit, I could feel her body spasm and tremble a bit.

"Mmm, tastes real nice," was all I said as I leaned back in. She stayed up on her elbows watching me and she said, "yeah, I tasted that too ... he said he was really horny again tonight".

I paused and looked up at her,"I thought you don't suck him that much?" wondering how she knew of the taste.

She answered, "not before, but I do clean him off afterwards".

I moaned out loud and told her that was the sexiest thing I'd heard and thought about and told her out loud, "... you sucking his cock clean after he's cum in you".

There was a bit more banter back and forth and she was clearly really enjoying the way I was talking about things. I know in the past we'd shared excitement like this but this was different, we were talking about and turning each other on by talking about instead of talking around it. I knew we were in the groove when she reached down and felt that my own cock was rock hard. She looked up at me and said in this really sexy voice, "you can have your turn now if you want".

I didn't hesitate, I didn't even have a second thought, as I reached into her nightstand and pulled out a condom. There was no mistaking the look on her face when she saw that I did that without being reminded or anything and, I admit, I was hugely turned on by doing so. The more we do this, the more intense it feels for me. It truly feels each time I do it, put a condom on, the act alone tells her so much.

Again, as I rubbed the tip of my covered cock all around her pussy, I told her how horny it made me that, "... his cum is so slippery in you". I pushed into her and bottomed out on the second or third thrust and added, "... I love knowing his cock had been in you and had left you like this for me." She just moaned about how hard he felt when he was in her.

I looked down at her as I pushed into her again and I told her that it turned me on incredibly and made me want her so when I thought about how deep in her his cock is when he cums and how he fills her with his cum. She squealed underneath me and I was actually a bit surprised at how responsive she was to what I was saying. It seemed like the more open my talking to her was, the more responsive she became. At one point I told her, "it turns me on so much to think of him cumming in you and me not". When I felt her strongly respond to that I kept going and told her how it turned me on that she only had, "his cock touching the inside of your pussy". She wrapped her legs around me as I plunged in and out of her. I told her how slick and open she felt and when I pulled up from her so we were barely touching and I could look down at her to see my the head of my condom-covered cock in her pussy, there was what I can only describe as this thin whitish foam around my cock. I couldn't really feel it until it began to run down the shaft. As it dribbled onto my balls I told her that I loved feeling her 'just fucked pussy'.

She moaned away and told me she loved me; she teased and taunted me about, "how deep he was in me"but honestly, by then, I was just too into fucking her and I think she knew it. I was past the point where I could tell her anything intelligible and she knew it and kept teasing me about how wet she was and how good his cock felt. I did manage to make sure she knew what she was telling me was turning me on and she reacted and kept it up including pulling her knees all the way back and against her sides as she said, "this is how he gets the deepest into me".

That was it, wow was that it, I sped up and she knew that I was about to cum as she encouraged me, "come on baby, fill up that rubber in me". Hearing her say that just like a slut did it, damn if I didn't cum hard and deep.

As my orgasm washed over me and then began to subside I leaned forward and collapsed against her. It was only then that I felt her own heart fluttering away against my chest and I realized that once again she'd cum with me. As I caught my breath I whispered to her, "I love that you came with me baby".

She said back, "I feel so good with you and everything, it just felt wonderful".


Suzanna says that she hasn't told him very much about us although he knows I like her fucking other men. She hasn't told him that he's the only one cumming in her but in our talking after Friday night and especially last night, she says that he's gotten her to open up to him about some of her fantasies and such. She told me that she shared with him her fantasies of seeing a group of guys in a bar or out somewhere and just throwing herself at them and encouraging all of them to have sex with her. It was my turn to laugh when I teased her about thinking about a gang-bang and she said she didn't like that term, that it didn't sound nice, but she did look at me and said, " ... but it does turn me on to think about".

That was a good example of what I mean about opening up a bit more with each other. She said that previously she was more hesitant to share that kind of thought with me or with anyone really but, now, she doesn't feel like she needs to hide having such thoughts.


Friday night after we both came down and I pulled out of her, I guess she was right that Robert must have been very horny because even without me cumming in her she looked like she'd just been fucked with the whitish foam having turned into a wetness that seeped out of her and down to her ass. I looked at her and asked, "Can I go back down there for a bit?"

She smiled and said, "if it's what you really want to do". She was gaping open beneath me and she looked just so awesome lying there like that and I told her so. I told her that I loved what he'd done to her and loved that she was sharing it with me.

She tasted less tart than before, perhaps the taste from him was mellowed with her sweetness. She let me probe inside her vagina with my tongue this time saying, "be gentle down there" a few times and I could feel how swollen and tender-soft she felt but it was the taste that got to me and I told her so.

It felt right to tell her because I knew that's what she wanted so I just looked up from between her legs and said, "it turns me on that your pussy is so full of his cum". She moaned and gently pushed her pussy up at me as if to ask me to continue. I did but when it got too intense for her, she pushed my head away and I knew she'd had enough, I didn't expect her to cum again.

She puled me up and kissed me and I knew she could taste it on my lips. I went for broke, I looked at her and told her that it turned me on incredibly that only Robert was cumming in her. She held my hand and started to say something but I was in the zone and I kept on talking. I told her that it made me want her so badly knowing that she's only had his cum in her now. When I said that, she reached up and pulled me tight to her and hugged me and said, "thank you".


Last night we were both pretty tired and she'd kind of made it clear that she wanted the night off anyway so we sat around the fire-pit in the backyard with a bottle of wine and just sat and chatted about anything and everything. She asked me about my 'vacation fantasy' and said it turned her on to think of having a lover with us on a vacation like I'd said.

I will say it again here that this is really a different level of openness that I feel. In the past, we'd always skirted around things or let implications and double entendre's replace openness but last night it just felt so easy to talk to her. I told her again of how it made me feel to think of her lying next to me on the beach knowing that beneath her bikini-bottoms, just like beneath her panties at home, lay the results of sex with her lover. She told me how wicked she felt when she thought about what I'd said about her disappearing for a while in the afternoon and then coming back again to lie next to me afterwards knowing she'd just been fucked by her lover (her words).

I went back to my recent thought and asked her, "Do you ever think about a black guy?"

She looked at me over the fire-light and said, "I think it'd be interesting" and a few minutes later said, "I suppose it's something I should try eventually ..... before it's too late" and she giggled. I told her that I did think there were a number of suitors available when were in Jamaica and I commented how I'd seen some of the women being particularly cared for by some black guys. She giggled and said she'd seen the same and that she admitted it did seem like an exciting thought. Then in the same breath she said that it's something that she thought a tropical island brought out in her but that she doesn't have any sort of particular desire other than that.

I didn't push or ask more about it at that time, it just didn't feel right but I will ask more and remind her of some of this discussion, possibly next week when we're away. I think if the circumstances were just so I'm almost certain that Suzanna would be receptive to the idea.


I struggled to remember the last time I'd had bare sex with Suzanna (I actually had to look in this diary to remember!) and saw that it's been almost 5 weeks now; the last time I came in her was when we were off in July. That reminder triggered a lot of thoughts one of which is that in these 5 weeks Robert has cum in her at least 15-20 times. I admit that thought humbled me a little but, my god, my cock is hard again just thinking about it and typing this.

I know that I've gone through enough condoms now that I can say that I don't mind them, especially not these polyurethane 'bare' ones, but that willingly giving her up like this it really hits me that this is turning me on more than anything. Me, the guy who hated condoms and felt so strongly about having to have her bare when all this started, is now enjoying using them and being wickedly turned on by her lover being the only one to cum in her.

Is it weird to be with your wife, lying naked with her, and to be turned on by this knowledge? I do miss it intensely but at the same time I feel so on-fire with desire for her. I am perpetually horny thinking about and knowing that only his cock is feeling the silky inside of her pussy and, yes, thinking about it being his cum that seems to perpetually seep from her pussy. When she lays there beneath me as she did the other night, her legs spread apart, I could pull out my cock and jerk-off in like a minute to the thought of how she looked and how turned on I feel knowing it's just her lover's cock in her bare.

My thoughts right now about next week are that I am going to ask/tell/demand a turn in her bare and that I do want to cum in her while we're away. I'm also going to say that, at least for the first night, I am going to actually want to use a condom with her.

I know she's going to see him before we leave, maybe even the same day as we're going to leave on Friday even though she has taken the day off from work, so in my head, she may prefer me to use condoms with her for the first day or two anyway. I'm thinking I am going to assume I will use them until, hopefully, she asks me not to but if we get towards the end of the trip and it hasn't happened then I will insist. My nuts are churning already thinking about it.


I suppose that it seems like I'm worshipping her. At times, that’s somewhat how I feel.

It's weird but I'm actually very excited by all of this including her exerting a little more control. I've wanted this for a long time and I'm thinking that as she's come to terms with accepting it herself I've the ability to let her go with it. This is what it means by people naturally growing and changing together and it really is incredibly rewarding to feel this way about her and still feel this alive and this much desire for her! People, including our kids, look at us like we're teenagers at times which as I keep reading about how people lose interest in each other and lose interest in sex after this much time together means we are weird in our direction being quite opposite to the masses!

I have to say that it seems to have a newness and edge to what she's encouraging me to share with her and in what she's sharing with me. Her admission to fantasizing about a gang-bang is definitely a new level of admission even for her, to want herself to be used purely for sex.


We didn't have sex last night. She told me last night that she thought I should wait till Friday when we go away and that she wanted to be with Robert 'a lot' this week. When she left for work this morning she said she'd be home a little later than usual. She giggled and said, "that should make you really horny for me next week!"


I guess she has taken control in the bedroom and from my simple acceptance dare I say, my odd contentment, that I am clearly a cuckold.

I wish I understood why I am so turned on by it. It's been years since I started writing all this down in these journals and the arousal of her infidelity has never waned; if anything, it's only become more intense. She knew it would turn me on when she said that I'll have to wait till Friday night. I'm not sure if she appreciated when she said it that it will be after we've left for vacation already.

It's now after 5pm and I'm quite sure she's already at his place and, no doubt, on his bed laying beneath him right now. Damn how that thought gets me hard, even after having relieved myself earlier today.

Suzanna gave me a knowing grin when she came in just before 6pm and after dinner she casually but purposefully said to me, "I need to go upstairs and clean up a little bit". She added that I didn't need to follow her. I will be revved up for sure by Friday.

We will be leaving later on Friday and it will keep me perpetually hard on the plane until we arrive to think of her sitting next to me and our kids with her pussy full of her lover’s cum. I am quite sure I will be more than ready for her by the time we arrive just as I know that for the rest of this week until we actually leave home my desire will continue to build up.


We’re going to be staying in a beachfront home with separate bedrooms.

Actually, both of our kids have friends who are also going to be in the same resort-area within easy travel for them by bike, etc.; it's one of the reasons we are going where we are. Suzanna and I will have a lot of 'alone time' for sure as both our ******** and son are already planning a night or two with their friends and vice-versa. The house we're renting literally has a separate suite area where Suzanna and I will be staying and with the doors shut it's going to be quiet and private.

*******

She came home a little later yesterday but not as late as she usually would be if she was seeing Robert after work. It wasn't until she came up to me as we were getting dinner together and whispered in my ear, "he was quick with me this afternoon" that I knew!

She isn't seeing him today but has told me that he asked if they could get together tomorrow evening. She then she reminded me that she was 'seeing him for lunch' on Friday and would be home in plenty of time for us to go to the airport. (The kids believe she's taking a half day on Friday but I know she has the whole day off and is planning on seeing him for more than just lunch.) She giggled and said, "that ought to hold him till we get back!”

Later as we were getting ready for bed I asked after her afternoon but she didn't seem to want to talk about it much, she was more interested in discussing other stuff trip-related to be sorted out, etc. I didn't push it but as we were getting into bed I did casually ask, "so, how's this thing with Robert going to play out?" mentioning that summer was coming to an end and repeated what she'd said about a summer-fling.

She smiled at me and said that he's been talking to her about whether he's ready to get into another relationship saying she feels more like a confidante of his at times rather than being his lover. Apparently he has thanked her many times over for giving him the 'summer off', of her being his 'rebound lover' and for getting him over the hard times where he needed a sexual outlet and relief but didn't want to risk or mislead someone about his intentions. He said that she's allowed him to get his head on straight while not feeling an urge to 'forge a relationship'.

I asked her what that meant for the future and she said he's told her that he'd like her to be there as he 're-enters' the dating world.

I joked, "yeah, so he'll being having some sex while he looks for Mrs. Right!”

She punched me at that and said, "that's only part of it" adding that they've become close and open with each other and she's said she'd help him in his search, etc.

"So, it's probably going to end when he finds someone else he's interested in?"

She said, "eventually" and that she thought, at least until he was truly serious about another woman that she'd still find herself in bed with him, maybe just not as frequently. She looked at me, gave a wicked smile and added, "... he is enjoying me too much!”

That thought left me horny (as if I wasn't already) as we kind of zoned out to watch some TV and me thinking that we'll have lots to talk about on our long walks on the beach next week.

Once we did get into bed and I was left wondering/hoping/anticipating masturbating for/with her as per our usual but instead she asked me, "how about you save it up for Friday night when we get in?" She leaned over, kissed me, cupped my balls and cock and said, "I know you're hard and horny but I think it'll be worth waiting for". She looked at me, sucked her lips together as if sucking a straw, leaving me unsure if that's what she’s suggesting for Friday now?!

I'd like to say we talked about the other stuff, but we didn't. She did tease me a little bit more and told me she'd be seeing him today (Thursday) and 'definitely on Friday'. She repeated that she's taking the day off but the story at home for the kid's benefit is that she's going in for the morning. Robert, she confirmed, is working from his home on Friday and she giggled, "... yeah, if he gets any work done!”

We did talk about the vacation and how much she's looking forward to it, just to get out on the beach and not to have to think about work or ****** or anything other than the next drink in her hand. We talked about restaurants we want to go to as well as a few clubs we also have heard about for some drinking and dancing too, something else we never seem to get to at home.

Not much more to say. I'm enjoying my desire building for her and am anticipating quite a time tomorrow evening. As I mentioned, there are other people we know who are vacationing the same week in the same area so the kids are already making plans to get together which will be giving us more alone time. We're hoping they'll bunk up at the friend’s places maybe one night or two.


Suzanna teased me mercilessly on the plane flight and she made it clear why she needed to be running off to the plane's restroom twice during the flight for as expected, she'd spent most of Friday morning in bed with Robert. Indeed she was later home than planned and it cut it closer than we'd wanted to get to the airport. I chastised her, "was that really necessary?".

All she did was giggle back that, "you'll enjoy it later".

She wasn't kidding, by the time we landed, got our rental car and got to our rented home, I was horny for her for sure. Thankfully the kids were itching to go out adventuring on bikes!

When we had the house to ourselves in early evening we went up to the bedroom where she encouraged me to go down on her, this time she said, "baby, this time you can go inside if you want". Surprisingly she was horny too and as I licked and sucked at her pussy she was getting into it and talking to me about, "how good Robbie fucked me .... suck it good" then she leaned up and looked down on me with my face between her legs and said, "when I feel all his stuff is out of me - that's when you can have me bare again".

I should have kept licking away but hearing her say that my cock got hard and I told her that it was time. I donned my condom (she smiled not having to have asked me) and damn if I didn't slip right into her pussy.

Maybe it was spending the morning with him lodged deep in her pussy but my cock slipped in without any effort or resistance! Knowing I'd have her bare in another day or two really got me horny and she asked me to tell her about it. I wasn't totally up to all that banter but I did tell her how horny it made me knowing she'd been fucking him all morning and I made it a point to tell her that after tasting him in her that I loved how his cum made her feel so slippery inside!

It didn't matter though, I wasn't going to last very long, even she knew I wasn't going to last very long. She looked up at me and said, "come on baby, fill that condom for me" and hearing her say that just got me off. I pumped into her deeply before letting go in the condom and as I collapsed against her all I could say was, "wow, that was intense".

She hugged me deeply and said, "I know you needed that". A moment later I knelt back and pulled out of her. She sat up and pulled the condom off my cock and held it up and said, "Wow, you really did need that!" I was proud of how much cum I'd left in the condom.

She held it in her hand and said how hot it felt and she then looked up at me and said, "I know it hasn't been easy for you but you have to know how much it turns me on that you haven't cum in me now for a while".

I looked at her and said that it's been almost 6 weeks since I'd felt her bare. She closed her eyes and thought about what I said and gave a shudder. She opened her eyes and pulled me to her, kissed me and she said she hasn't felt this alive in years and years. She put her finger into her pussy and felt around and said, "a few more days baby" and she took her finger out and she licked it off and said, "I can still taste him in me so you need to wait a little longer".

I joked back that I'd only brought the last four condoms and she said, "well, then you'll just have to go back down on me for the next 4 days!”


Yesterday afternoon we were all out down on the beach but Suzanna came back from the beach a little earlier than me. As I walked up to the house I saw the bathroom drapes were open just a bit and through the window I could see her changing and at one point saw her naked. When I came in and told her she giggled and said, "yeah, I saw some guys were out in the yard next door."

I was dumbfounded, I looked at her and said, "you mean you meant to give them a show?!"

She giggled again and said, "it's vacation; what happens on vacation stays on vacation, right?.... besides they probably didn't see anything".

I pulled her up to me and said, "you wanted them to see you, didn't you?"

As we kissed she moaned, "Oh yeah, oh my god, I was shaking as I got undressed knowing they could maybe see me!”

In the next few minutes I used my next condom which now leaves me only 2 more!

Today everyone's out at the beach and I came back to check on a few things so I'm not sure what the rest of the afternoon is going to bring but I know that by the end of the trip my nuts will be drained for sure!


Things are just all over the place and we've already been talking about a lot of stuff. As we took a long walk down the beach yesterday Suzanna admitted that maybe this is her version of a mid-life crisis. She said that she'd never admitted to me before that she had all of these crazy thoughts and desires until now, she then held my hand tightly and said that she was glad I was okay with her. I told her that I'd always be okay and would always love her and she said that she hoped I would say that as she just feels that before it's too late, that she wants to try and do things that she'd previously put out of her mind.

I asked her, "Such as; what things?"

She responded, "All sorts of stuff." She's said she wants to learn to scuba-dive; that she wants to learn to cross-country ski; she wants to take a cooking class; that she wants to try yoga. I told her, "Why not? just do it," but there's a sound to her voice when she spoke about it that has a different tone, one of wanting it instead of just talking about it.

She giggled and said, "Sex too" and that she expects that Robert is going to move on before winter gets here. However, it's the way she said it, truly like a teenager having a summer-fling.

I asked her if leaving the windows open in the house so she could be seen was another thing she wanted to do. She hesitated for a moment before nodding shyly, telling me yes. I told her that I thought it was very hot that she did that and she giggled and said in this questioning voice, "so you'd be okay with me doing it for the rest of the week?”

I nodded yes and told her for sure she'd be making them horny. She giggled and said that she thought it'd be really sexy to think they were masturbating because of her. I stopped walking and just looked at her in amazement and told her it was wonderful how open she'd become. She said that it was my fault that she's become much more comfortable with herself and with her sexuality.


Last night she too noted that I would be down to one condom after we had sex. As we began our foreplay she lay back and put a finger into her pussy and tasted it like she'd done the night before. She giggled and said that tomorrow night (Monday) that I could finally have her without a condom again. I looked up from between her legs and again just stared at her, this vacation was really relaxing her and lowering her inhibitions from how she was talking now so sexily and calmly. She saw me looking at her and she commented again that I could, "go inside her pussy" and I didn't miss the opportunity. I didn't taste anything but her but it was still delicious and without much effort at all she came easily and she even put her hand on the back of my head as she pulled her legs back to let me lick her more as she rode out her orgasm.

I knew when she'd come down that it was our turn now. I pulled the next to last condom apart and out of the foil wrapper and she said how hard I looked. I moaned that it was because I wanted her more and more.

As I pulled the condom into place she spread her legs and I then moved to kneel between them. With one hand she spread her pussy apart for me and with the other she guided my cock into her. As I pushed into her she looked up at me and said, "thank you". I knew what she was saying that for so I just said, "you're welcome". She seemed to really get into it as I pushed all the way in and I ground myself into her. She moaned back how turned on she was and then she added, "and how you're still not cumming in me".

Maybe I shouldn't have played it up or gone along but at that moment it felt great. I moaned back that I loved how her pussy was just for her lover's cum. Me saying that seemed to start things up and she moaned back how horny she was when she thinks about it. I could feel it, that she wanted to be able to play and have fun with this, and this was definitely one of those moments. I told her that it turned me on that she'd had so much sex with Robert and how wet she always seemed to be from him. She told me how she loved feeling him cum in her. Back and forth it went, she'd say something and then I would follow. At one point I told her that it turned me on that her pussy and womb were undoubtedly coated with his cum and that seemed to again set her off towards orgasm. She moaned how she'd cum with him many times but it was when she told me how comfortable his cock was in her now and how she knew her pussy had changed shape to accommodate him, that was when I let go again and grunted away as I came deep in her. She pulled her legs in around me to make me grind up against her as I could feel not just her pussy but her whole body shake.

What I wanted to get to write about however, wasn't the good sex we'd just had or how great it felt to cum with her so effortlessly and so satisfyingly, no, it was afterwards as I lay against her and we caught our breath. I tried to push up away from her but she held me with her legs. She got up on her elbows a bit and then slowly let me pull out. She said she wanted to watch and damn if she didn't start to breathe in harder as I pulled out of her. She leaned up and breathed in deeply as I pulled fully out of her and she again grabbed my cock, slowly slid off the condom and commented, "You seem to cum so much sometimes".

I told her that she'd really gotten me turned on and she smiled and said the same and that it turned her on incredibly to see the condom full of my cum. She looked up and said to me that she hoped it didn't bother me but that as we were about to cum together, she hesitated for a moment, and then said that she thought about me not cumming in her at that moment and it really turned her on.

I lay down next to her and held her for a second and told her that she was beautiful when she came beneath me, "... for whatever reason".

Thing was, as we lay there she looked up at me and said "you know, you don't 'have to' if you don't want to?”

It took me a moment to realize what she'd said because my first response was, "huh, What do you mean?" and then as I heard 'you know...' it registered with me. My eyes must have been like saucers as I came out of my post-fuck daze. I looked over at her and said, "Not cumming in you; is that what you'd want?”

She held my hand and said, "I don't know .... it sure turns me on to think about sometimes". I started to say something, not sure what, but she interrupted and said, "but that's not fair to you".

In hindsight I probably shouldn't have said what I did but maybe it's the truth. I told her that, "they're not that bad" (referring to the condoms) and then I realized what I'd said because I quickly added, "but I was really looking forward to feeling you again".

She held me tightly and said, "you're right, I'm being selfish" which confused me and put me in a weird place so I calmed her and said, "no, you're not ... I guess you're just being honest like you wanted". She hugged me again and said that she was sure it was just a phase she was going through but added that she loved how sexy she felt 'knowing' that both of us were turned on by having just Robert cumming in her.

I moaned back, "we'll have to see" and she said something like, "we can always decide when the time comes baby" before pulling me in for a deep kiss.

I probably should have pushed to talk more about it last night but I didn't, we just mellowed out and she giggled that she, "didn't have a mess to clean up" and that we could just snuggle into bed after she did 'one thing'. I didn't know what to expect until she went under the blanket and sucked my cock clean and then came back up and said, "now you're all ready for bed". We spooned up and watched something on TV till we dozed off.


It's now Monday morning and there's this huge pink elephant in the room between us. I'm sure the alcohol helped the conversation but she was pretty clear that she'd be turned on if I didn't cum in her. I have one more condom left and I'm contemplating seeing her reaction tonight when I put it on even though she'd said I could have her bare. It's weird to say it but even typing this right now, my cock is hard thinking about it. There is something really erotic getting into bed with her to have sex and to think about not cumming in her pussy. Seeing her lying beneath me, spreading her legs for me, and yet at the same time, knowing I'm not going to cum in her! Then there's the weird/crazy part, that she is turned on by having these same thoughts!

If it wasn't for my 'need' to feel her again, maybe this wouldn't be that difficult. I have some memories of the few times I'd used condoms before being with Suzanna and the sex was still good and I still recall that feeling of conquest afterwards. Maybe it's just that I cum that's the more important part for us? Yet, at the same time, oh my god, knowing HE gets to cum in her and not me, that is the kicker that gives me the strangest most intense sexual feelings that leave me oddly satisfied.

I think I am going to do it tonight, use the last condom with her and see her reaction and response.


You’d have thought I gave her a diamond bracelet or something from how she reacted last night when I pulled the last condom out of the drawer and put it on. I'd thought about it and it worked out exactly as I'd hoped it would; she loved that I willingly did it and without asking or confirming with her. She looked at me as I used a little lubricant and pushed into her and we both knew what the other was thinking.

"It turns you on doesn't it?" she asked.

It did, I looked at her and said, "it drives me crazy that you only want his cum in you" and man did I push into her at that moment which brought about this surge from her that, I guess if I hadn't been in her, she would have squirted all over. All at once her pussy gaped open and then clamped down as the wetness spread from her. I could feel it even through the condom, so warm and deeply slippery.

She was totally into it and told me that I could 'use Robbie’s pussy ...' but that, "it's only for him to cum in .....”

Damn if that didn't get to me and a moment later it felt like I'd burst the condom with how heavily I came. She felt me crest in my own orgasm and pulled her legs around me to pull me in deep as she pushed up against me and she too exploded just after me. I kept thrusting in and out of her as she rode out her lengthened orgasm only to pull me close to her as I think she needed to hold back a tear at the end. She hugged me tightly and said that she loved me and loved that I'd do this for her and that it meant so much to her.

I stayed buried deep in her pussy for as long as I could. Even as I was shrinking I was still enjoying the sensations of feeling her pussy flutter as I'd push in and then pull back again. She moaned as I coaxed another orgasm out of her after which she fell back against the bed heaving for her breath. She held me with her legs, not letting me go even as my cock continued to shrink. Finally, when she caught her breath, she got up on her elbows and again she stared intently as my wet latex covered cock came slithering out of her wet open pussy.

I knelt back as she just lay there with her eyes sort of glazed over as she stared at my cock in my hand holding the condom on it. It was me who had the better view of her pussy spread open and seeing the darkened pink insides and at that moment I wished I'd not used a condom or that Robert was here as the sight would have been that much better if there was some cum dribbling out of her to add a bit more 'truth' to the moment.

She reached out and put her hand instead of mine on my now softened cock and she slid the condom into her hand. Again her eyes had this glazy look to them as she turned to me and said how horny she was that I hadn't cum in her. She sat up next to me and kissed me and said that it meant a lot to her that I'd done what I had and that she understood that it turned me on as much as it did her.

As she kissed me she looked at me and said, "tomorrow I want just you ... after tonight and what you did, I want us to make passionate love". She kissed me and looked at me right square in the eyes and said, "... and I want you in me tomorrow". She said that I proved myself and that tomorrow (tonight now!) that "after almost 8 weeks, it’s time to have some of your stuff in me again baby".

I did not buy any more condoms and she's already hinted that come 10:30pm or so that we're going to go out for a romantic walk on the beach with some wine and it's pretty obvious that both kids know what we want after that as when we said we'd be turning in after that they just looked at each other and didn't say a word.

So that's it, the end of the drought is coming.


Our son took our car last night and took his sister and their friends to the movies so Suzanna and I had some alone time.

There wasn't a whole lot of teasing early on, hardly any at all except for during foreplay where I teased her pussy with my finger and told her that unless she said otherwise, my cock was going in her bare.

She giggled and said, "you think you remember how it feels?" and she was right. She teased me that this will be the first time I'll feel her without a condom in over 7 weeks and she suggested, "you should go slow so you enjoy and remember it". That brought a bit of question to me as to whether this was a one-time thing or whether she'd let me enjoy her bare the rest of the trip (till Saturday).

She went down on me sucking me till I was really hard and that was when she asked me to talk to her more. She was really into sucking me as I told her that I'd thought a lot about how much sex she'd had with Robert in the past few weeks. Her eyes peered up at me as I talked and I told her that it turned me on that she'd fucked him like 25 or more times in these past 7 weeks. She pulled her mouth off of my cock to moan at my thoughts.

I know that after fucking for the past few nights, that my cock was pretty tired out but the thought, and then soon the sight of her naked body waiting for me seemed to bring my desire up even more.

As I said, it wasn't that much teasing, indeed, she wasn't taunting me at all, but instead was sharing her thoughts and feelings. When I pushed her legs back and got between them I looked up at her and for a moment I thought she might have second thoughts and ask me to not do it but instead, she reached down and guided my cock to slip up and down between her pussy lips. It would be a few moments later that the sweet interior of her vagina would be enveloping me.

I told her how turned on it made me to look down at her like that and, yes, to think about her lying this way for Robert. She looked back at me and said that she feels so comfortable with him now that she never hides anything from him and she made it clear that, "he's had all of me .... well, except my ass....". As she rubbed the tip of my cock around her opening she said to me ,"do you like knowing he fucks me like he does?” I pushed into her and she had my answer.

She was wet but not nearly wet enough for how I wanted her to feel. I recognized that it'd been several days since Robert had cum in her and in an instant I realized just how much he must cum in her for her to feel as wet as she does most of the times we've been together. I pushed the head of my cock into her and she felt a little dry so I reached for some lubricant (I noticed she'd remembered to bring it) and once I was lubed up, oh my god, at last, I felt her for the first time bare in so long.

The feeling of her slick wetness surrounding my cock, the warmth and depth of her pussy felt incredible. She pulled her knees way back and encouraged me to 'feel all of me' and a second later she added, "Robbie gets me really wet and open like this".


Wow, even this morning while they're all down at the beach and I'm back here getting the BBQ going for lunch, even now 12 hours later, my cock and balls feel totally drained. All I could think about was the way she said that and pulled her knees back, damn, if I didn't push all the way into her and we just lay there together. I didn't pull out or push in but we just lay there with my cock deep in her as we ground against each other. Every moment that went by her pussy got wetter and wetter and, yes, more and more open. I know it was probably in my head but I swear her pussy felt cavernous inside and the thought that Robert had stretched her out filled my head.

I can't remember much more that she or I said, just a whole lot of grunting and groaning. As I said, I was pretty satiated going into it so I was able to fuck her for a long time (relatively speaking). We moved from position to position including her sharing one of her favourites with Robert, for her to lie on her stomach with her butt pushed up in the air and for me (or Robert) to be behind her straddling her legs. Essentially keeping her legs together while I pushed into her from behind. I immediately realized that this is a better position for him than me since he's longer than me as I couldn't get that deep a stroke into her but I knew he could and it turned me on that she'd probably cum for him many times in this position.

No matter what, there is one position I love above all others, missionary with her on her back and her legs spread and held back by my arms. She was eager to get into that position as I think she was ready for me to cum in her before I was. I rode her in that position for quite a while, I even had to apply a little more lubricant. She was a trooper and lay there for me and told me to enjoy it as much as I could ... and enjoy I did. The intense feeling of her bare pussy sucking at my cock as I pushed in and pulled back out of her was incredible.

I know she said some things at the end to get me to finally explode but I would be lying if I said I could remember them. She'd made one comment about me 'enjoying it bare while I can' and that did get to me as it confirmed she wanted to go back to how it was after our trip. I confess, despite the intense arousal from feeling her bare pussy, it was the thought of using a condom with her in the future and thinking that Robert will continue to cum in her, that really got me off.

I think she again may have had a fleeting thought about me not cumming in her at the end and I confess to having the thought to pull out of her and jerk-off onto her stomach did cross my mind but the open warm wetness that I was feeling was just too much and sooner rather than later I pushed into her one last time. She pulled me tightly, not forgetting how I feel when I'm just about to cum, and held me in her deeply as I emptied my pent up desires.

She didn't cum at the end, she'd cum so much along the way that by the end she was happy to just lie there, but as I came she did let out this awesome sexy low moan as she felt the stream of my cum coating her pussy. She held me in place and squeezed with her pussy to pull me through the last of my orgasm and then it was done! I had a sheen of sweat covering me and damned if I felt like I'd wrung out my nuts into her!

She held me till I was shrivelled up again and then she let me pull out slowly and we both watched as the tip of my cock pulled clear followed by a trickle of my cum. She giggled and said, "that's a sight I don't get to see too much, your cum dribbling out of me!”


I'm steeling up my ardour for later tonight. She's already made it clear that vacation is making her horny and she even joked with me that, "it's a good thing you got me last night or I might be out looking elsewhere tonight!". It was just a joke to emphasize that she's still horny but it's also the first time she's joked about going out and finding another guy!

It seems the more she relaxes, the hornier she gets and this, like other vacations, has turned into quite the fuck-fest for us. Nice to know some things don't change even if some of the details do.


I did joke with her whether she would have looked next door to satisfy her needs had things not gone how they did. She giggled and smiled but would say no more. I did see our neighbours, they look like 2 brothers, maybe in their mid-20's in a vacation house with older parents. I have not seen any women with them but then again, I'm not the one watching them.

I haven't caught Suzanna deliberately ******** herself to them again but the curtain remains drawn in the bedroom we're in and she does prance around naked quite often. I think my comment about giving them fodder to masturbate too may have given her some additional courage but unless she's pretty *****, there's no way she'd wind up with them.


We haven't discussed Sunday yet other than Suzanna feeling guilty about needing to see her parents. If she's horny for or missing Robert she hasn't shared it with me all that much.

In general, regarding what she's shared about Robert and the future, she did again mention that he wanted to wait a year before he wanted to get into a serious relationship and she also mentioned his seriousness about wanting kids. As she put it, it's something she can't give him which made me question her whether she would have thought about if she was younger. She immediately said 'no', that it's not something she would have considered, but she did say that if it had been now or later that he may not have pursued her because of it. So, serendipity reigns supreme that things happened as they did for a reason.

Suzanna is even not feeling badly about what she'd wanted vs. how things worked out. As she said, she didn't necessarily want it to just be sexual with Robert at the beginning but she added that now, with the fun we're having and her enjoying other parts of the dynamics between the 3 of us, she admitted she is loving what is going on and she thanked me profusely for being so good about it all.

What really struck me in all of this was the excitement that's in her voice when she talks about what she's experiencing. She said she feels like a 'wanton slut' (her words) at times but that she is genuinely loving it and she made it clear that, yeah, she's enjoying the sex with him but she also made it clear that she is, in some ways, enjoying what it's doing for us even more. She held my hand and admitted that she'd never have let herself think or feel this way until just a few weeks back and that she feels really great about it all.

I asked her what's going to happen when Robert finds himself another lady who fits his needs. Suzanna was quiet at that and admitted that she'd miss the fun she's having with him (and admitted that she'd still fuck him for as long as he'd be into it with her even if there was another woman in the picture) but that she would certainly give him the space he needs/wants. It took her a moment to realize I wanted to know about what she thought would be for her in the future. She giggled and said, "baby, as long as you don't mind, I think I'm always going to want a lover".


It's amazingly refreshing to hear her admit to different sexual things that arouse her or raise her interest. Much like her admitting to me that she and Robert have 'played with' the fantasy of him getting her pregnant. The fact that she'd even open up to me about her sharing that with him represents a huge, and I do mean huge, step forward for her.

There may be risks ahead for us but I have to believe that what she's feeling now will only help us to explore whatever may be out there.

I can say that she's begun to think of girls/women she knows that might be right for Robert (meaning young enough to still want kids) and that we've talked that once the fall gets here that she knows he is going to want more than she now feels she wants to give him.

Maybe that's the most interesting revelation that I'm seeing in her - that just a few months ago she felt she needed to have this big-full-blown affair with Robert to fulfil her sexual desires. But now, at least from what she's shared and what we've talked about during our walks on the beach is that she realizes she can have her fantasies and desires without necessarily needing the full-blown emotional part of the affair that she'd thought she needed. Not sure if that makes any sense but it seems to convey to me that she feels that she can explore more of her previously repressed/inhibited thoughts/desires/fantasies without having to risk the emotional side of it. From what she's said, the reassurance and the commitment I've demonstrated to fulfilling her fantasies, yes, to her admission, mainly the acceptance of her desire that I not cum in her - she says that's given her a new perspective on things and on us.


..and that's another book filled.

Damn, I forgot to pack a spare so I'll have wait until I get home to resume 'the story of my life'. Hope that I can remember all the details!