Book 122
*******
*******
The weekend panned out somewhat similar to others we’ve had with Paul being here, but Suzanna didn't insist I watch from her perspective. We had actually talked about it and I told her that it was very arousing to see but that I also liked, very much, standing behind or being next to Paul and seeing her from that direction.
She laughed and asked me what turned me on and I was honest and told her that I liked how he looked fucking her from that view. That discussion also included me telling her that I liked it because I could see when he would cum in her. She smiled to hear me say what turned me on and she then asked if that made it easier or made me want to use condoms with her.
I told her yes, that it was very erotic to watch and to know what he is feeling and having with her and vice-versa. She told me that she likes it when I go bare with her but said that it seems to be so much more satisfying for her when it isn't that frequent; that it makes it very special when we do; that when we went away, that it was such the perfect time for us to share that again.
I've actually started to wonder if she might want this even without Paul I only got to cum in her infrequently.
After we'd eaten and consumed a good amount of wine, the two of them got 'silly' with each other and started to make each other laugh. It was when then their banter turned into a make-out session and they began some heavy petting that I excused myself saying I was going to get drinks and I walked out of the room. I waited for things to become quiet and returned to find them entangled on the couch.
My reappearance caused Suzanna to 'disengage' herself from him. Not in a bad way but more in a playful fashion as if she was the naughty wife who had been caught by surprise by me, the husband.
She affected to be more interested in picking up on conversation and began to chat with the pair of us as if nothing untoward had been going on.
I can't recall specifically what we all talked about; politics; the weather; summer and, oh yes, our kids, but after a while she tired of playing her little game that this was just a social meet between friends and her talk turned towards more suggestive topics such as the sexual preferences and practices of others.
Paul picked up on her innuendo-filled chatter and responded in kind and quickly the pair of them were exchanging suggestions and glances that left no doubt where the 'debate' was going. I joined in and pointed out that her nipples were visible through her thin bra and a thin top.
She giggled and pulled the top off and then teased both of us by pulling down the cups on her bra and letting us see the rigid little buttons. She stood up, picked up her glass of wine, and said, "See you in the bedroom." With that, she walked away and up the stairs.
Paul looked at me and tilted his head as if to say 'Let’s go'.
I smiled and shook my head and it really felt good, and I do mean honestly good, to tell him, "You should go up now. I'll join you guys in a bit".
He smiled and said, "Thanks man" and walked up the stairs to go after her into our bedroom at the end of the hall. I let a few minutes go by before I followed.
I padded silently to the bedroom door and peeked through the gap to see them in a familiar position. She lay back on the bed naked from the waist down and her bra still over her arms but pushed up so it no longer covered her breasts. She was moaning as he was between her legs obviously licking her pussy.
It was very erotic to take a moment or two to watch them unseen from the doorway and then to go silently in and stand in the shadows to watch from behind them but stay out of their sight. He continued to lap away and I could hear her soft moans and sighs building as her pleasure intensified.
Hearing her orgasm for him is always beautiful and very special. This time it wasn't a big one but I could tell she'd enjoyed a small one especially when I heard Paul moan out his own delight with an 'mmmm'. I could imagine she'd gotten wet from that.
I stayed out of sight as he stood up and she pulled his pants and boxers down. It's going to sound crazy but it turns me on to see them together seeming so relaxed and natural together. She gently lifted his cock and he knew to step closer to her so she'd suck it; he knew to put his hands gently on the back of her head to tell her to take it deeper but not too deep. Two relaxed and experienced lovers comfortable in giving each other what they knew would delight.
As I continued to watch from the shadows of my 'hiding place' it occurred to me that their anniversary must be approaching (what is it now, 2 years?) and that I should ask her if she knew how long Paul had been in our lives.
2 years that he's been fucking her and I’ve never felt troubled. On the contrary, whilst it feels kind of strange not to be bothered, I have been constantly and genuinely be turned on by it. (Later when I shared my thoughts she giggled and said, "after all this time; really?").
I couldn't stay hidden for ever, Paul and then Suzanna caught sight of me in the room as she sucked and played with his cock. She slowly eased off him and said to me out loud how big and hard he felt. She returned to the task and as I watched she sucked his cock for a bit longer and then (I guess through some unknown signal from her to him) she seemed to say she was done sucking and he knew to climb on the bed at that moment.
She spread her legs and teased him (and me) with, "Just rub it up and down for now" and I was treated to watching that big head of his cock get slick and wet from her juices. The more he rubbed it around, the wetter it became and I realized, probably from him, I heard the moaning start.
Again, seeming so comfortable he seemed to know just when to pause as he pressed his cock against her opening and then would pull it away spreading the wetness. I also noticed (as I watched and felt my own cock throbbing) that each time he'd push into her a little bit more and after 5 or 6 times, each of which brought a moan from Suzanna, he finally held her legs still enough to begin to work in earnest to push into her. I thought he was going to begin fucking her and was surprised when pulled out leaving her panting beneath him.
He licked his fingers and I watched as he pushed her leg back with his right elbow and reached over to her now spread pussy and saw as he rubbed his wet fingers all around. He traced around the opening to her vagina and I could see her gaping open for him.
It was his turn to tease and I held my breath as he then traced his finger up one side of her pussy making her squeal as he approached her clit. He then went back down one more time and moved up on the opposite side. She gushed for him as he reached her button and as he rubbed it, a moment later she was gasping for breath and thrashing about through an intense orgasm.
After she'd calmed down from just his fingers it was obvious that she was still horny as she squealed with glee when she saw that he was still hard and ready. She looked at me (I guess to make certain I was watching) before she spread her legs for him and he started to push his way into her. She moaned, "oh god, fuck me," several times as I watched him part the lips of her pussy as he pushed the big head of his cock into her.
I can't say what I did other than watch and I can't even say how long I sat there sitting sort of side-saddle on the bed watching them go at it. It had to have been 30 minutes from her pushing him onto his back and, unembarrassed, climbing up on top of him to him then pushing her onto her knees and her looking up at me glassy-eyed as he fucked her from behind.
Finally, I could see she was tiring and could tell she must be moving toward one last time with him. Sure enough, just a moment or so later she rolled onto her back and motioned for him to move on top of her.
I'll admit that was a tough moment for me seeing her at that moment, her being his and only focused on him, as if I wasn't even there, she once again spread her legs. I didn't need to look to know that she was wet and open for him and although that part was erotic, seeing him kneeling there with his wet-looking hard cock ready to push back into her, that was still just an awkward moment for me.
It was obvious she was concentrating on him and only him and she moaned many things as she was moving toward cumming again. I guess we both knew Paul wasn't going to last much longer but she surprised me when she reached her hand out to me to hold as she obviously remembered something we'd talked about and agreed was very erotic and very 'connecting' for us.
I felt her hand clench mine as I heard Paul begin to grunt in time with his thrusts and I knew he was cumming in her. Her eyes closed and I could feel her body cinch down the bed a bit as he continued to fuck her while, I guess, still cumming. At the end he just lay there against her with his head on her shoulder holding her tight.
She'd let go of my hand and it became another odd feeling moment to see her then caress him with the hand that had been holding me, then odd or not, by God, didn't that sight get my cock rock hard. He kissed her neck and cheek and then her lips for a while and it took me a few moments to realize his cock was still in her as they were lying there. She wriggled down lower beneath him and that was what made me realize it and what she wanted.
A moment later I watched as he got up on his elbows and then outstretched arms and he pulled his cock back from her pussy and then pounded back into her which made her grunt out loud. He picked up speed and I realized what she wanted and what I was about to see. He fucked her hard and deep and soon I saw her start to meet his thrusts and that seemed to speed things up. She began to moan and Paul seemed to become more deliberate in how he fucked her.
He moved his arms to hold her legs apart and as I watched she began to shake and thrash her head back and forth. She started convulsing and shrieking beneath him and thrashing her body about with her wet pussy making squishing sounds as Paul continued his pace; her eyes opened for a moment but there was no sign of her being there.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she calmed beneath him and then seemed to collapse, letting out a deep moan as he pulled is now softening cock out of her. I felt myself shudder to see the fat head pull her pussy lips far and wide.
It was close to 11pm by the time we all calmed down and they came back to their senses. Paul walked naked by me into the bathroom while Suzanna looked at me through groggy eyes and said, "you okay?..... I love you so much".
I just nodded back and then said that I was going to leave her alone. She smiled and said, "thanks honey"; just how she said it made all the difference in the world to me as I went to go to sleep in the guest room.
I didn't jerk-off and was surprised that I wasn't awakened during the night but on Sunday morning I was treated to all the sounds of them in the bathroom together; the shower running, toilets flushing, sinks and hair-dryers running. She came out in just her bathrobe and he followed fully dressed for what appeared to be another golf-game.
He apologized that he was having to leave so soon and just said, "See you soon" to her and then what seemed like a sincere 'thank you' from him to me.
******
That Sunday night and Suzanna came to me in the kitchen and asked me if I wanted to join her in the bedroom. I finished what I was doing and followed her.
When I arrived she was untying her robe. She turned and held the robe open letting me see all of her nakedness. She teased me about, "how Paul used me yesterday," to which I added, " … and again this morning?"
She replied with a coy laugh saying, "a lady never talks about that .... but I'll show you" and she stood feet apart to let me see how wet she was. She then lay back on the bed and allowed the robe to fall apart showing me her breasts where I could see what appeared to be slight hickies from where he must have sucked at them.
She smiled as I stood there with my cock tenting my pants and beckoned me to come and stand next to the bed. I pulled off my pants and she turned her head toward my rigid cock which was inches from her face. As she lay there she erotically fingered herself whilst taking my cock into her mouth and began to suck me to the tempo of her finger.
I thought for a moment she wanted me to cum in her mouth but then she handed me a foil-wrapped condom and I knew what she meant, she wanted me to fuck her.
It felt so erotic to pull the condom on and for it to be my turn.
God, it was wonderful and I did so enjoy it and so did she; she couldn't hide it when she orgasmed a few times with me before I filled the condom with what felt like an obscene amount of cum.
*******
Life has gone on-hold as we've had a bit of a ****** situation with Suzanna’s *** who took a fall sometime on Tuesday. Fortunately he didn't break anything but he's badly bruised and is going to need some physical therapy once the sprains have healed a bit. With him being somewhat immobile, there's no choice but for him to be in a rehab-centre for a while.
All that happened after our fun weekend. We had plans for this evening but we had to cancel and instead I met her and went and visited her *** after work today.
She's totally exhausted and has gone up to bed already and I'm sure as I write that already she is fast asleep. However, I need to put the pen down as I still have some desires to relieve!
*******
She’s already told me she's going to go visit her *** right after work again today. I think once she knows he'll be okay and not take a backward step here, that she will likely relax. There are all sorts of concerns right now because he was on blood-thinners as part of avoiding another stroke and that is a concern right now in terms of whether things are okay internally so she wants to hear an update on that.
*******
The weekend was nice; I may have understated some of it previously but from our earlier discussions I knew how the weekend would end and that she wanted me to resume using condoms with her on a more regular basis and relegating my times bare with her to be for special occasions and that sort of thing.
It was more how she said it that I knew was a sign that she was going to want more time with Paul in these next few weeks so maybe it might be an idea to suggest Friday nights might be a nice thing to her. However, at the moment I know she's all concerned about her mom being alone and that she's already talking about cooking some food for her and that she'd take it over there over the weekend; I don't see how she'll do that if she's with him. If anything, I think this new 'situation' will make her want that weekend away with him even more.
As for participating? Yeah, it was the right thing to do this past weekend as it matched how I was content with watching more than being involved. She's beautiful when she cums like that at the end of a good fuck and it made me want her even more after he left on Sunday. Even through the condom I could feel how wet and open her pussy was and I loved knowing how it got that way.
I can't explain it, it just felt very right that I didn't cum in her right then too; I saw them and I saw her and it's going to sound weird to say it, but I liked that she was only going to feel that from one guy and that I wanted it to be Paul.
On Sunday, it felt really good to sink into her and feel her swollen labia and how she felt so puffy around the base of my cock. She moaned when she felt my cock grow to its full thickness and open her up a bit and it felt great that she was still quite wet. To enhance things a bit for me, I put a drop of lube inside the tip of the condom. I've found the sensation makes it feel quite awesome and almost (almost but not quite) as good as being bare in her. There was no need for any other lube, her teasing made sure that I didn't last long.!
So, 'sitrep', that’s where we are at. Just when things seemed to sail smoothly another ripple in the pond appears...
*******
She’s not going to stay over with him tonight but will be there "late". When I asked why she just said that she wasn't up for it. I joked with her that Paul will likely keep her quite busy if she's not staying over and she joked back that she's hoping he will take her mind off of other things!
*******
Things have been busy for Suzanna as while her *** will be getting out of rehab any day now (waiting for that proverbial 'doctor ok'). She's got rising concerns about how things are going to go; he's still going to be recovering from things and with his limited mobility he's not going to be able to really benefit from physical therapy the way someone else might have, so it's kind of consuming her from a time and an emotional point of view.
*******
She'd already told me that she wanted and almost needed to see Paul last night and when I pushed her she just said she needed to escape from everything for a while.
I could certainly see some less tension in her when she came home last night and she immediately thanked me for being okay with her seeing him all afternoon and told me she'd left work a little earlier than usual to give her some extra time away from all that's going on.
I told her I would make dinner (nothing formal) and for her to text me letting me know when she'd be home so it was ready for her. I laughed when later she texted and told me she was really hungry and I teased her back that she must have worked up an appetite!
She didn't hide that she'd felt she 'needed' to see him and when we did finally go upstairs last night for our usual Wednesday routine she told me that sometimes (like how she'd been feeling since her ***'s accident) she just needs to detach from normal life and, yes, she said that she felt she needed to 'get fucked good' (her words!). She told me that she knows I could provide that for her but that being with me brings with it all sorts of other things like thoughts about ****** and the emotions that go with it. She hoped I understood just as I need to get away sometimes (skiing would be a good example) that she needed this.
I was naked already and slowly stroking my cock when she undressed down to her bra and panties and lay on the bed next to me. I asked her if she was still wet from him and she smiled and said, "yes honey", before telling me how good it felt to let go with him earlier. Again she told me she loved me for letting her have the time with Paul that she wanted.
She then turned to me and told me that she had wanted to talk to me a bit more anyway, that it was nice for us to chat like this. I agreed but it was obvious that she'd had something on her mind and it was confirmed when she said that when her *** fell , had his accident, how it's just made her feel very constrained and overwhelmed by the situation and that tonight (last night) had been something she'd needed.
I knew there was more and at the same time I could see her nipples were hard now beneath her bra as she talked to me more. She said she really needed to be able to know she could go away with Paul next weekend (the weekend after Mother's day) and she almost giggled as she said in a more serious voice that, "I just need to get away and, yes baby, I need to just spend the weekend in bed with him".
A second later she said, "I just need him to fuck me for a long time and to know I don't need to be thinking about anything else".
Her face had taken on a look which I could see she was feeling aroused. She teased me, "Look how hard your cock is baby ..... are you turned on by that idea; can I do it; will you be okay?" A second later she giggled and said, "… oh my, look at how wet your cock is, it's dribbling! Oh god, I love that it turns you on to think about it too".
She was right, I couldn’t hide it that I was rubbing my pre-cum all over the head of my cock as she talked to me.
She leaned over and kissed me and told me she loved me. Then she said it, I was half expecting it, she said, "I just hope you'll be okay about waiting till after I get back to be with me .... will that be okay honey?" She pulled back from me to see my reaction.
I know that she saw the look on my face and she said, "Oh honey, I don't want this to upset you ..." then she looked at my hand on my cock and saw that I was stroking frantically. She smiled at me and said, "...or are you okay about it?"
She moved closer to me and said in a quieter more sexy voice, "I know you'll be really horny for me by then."
I moaned back to her and she continued with her teasing, she said stuff like, "mmm, you look so hard, so I guess I can tell you that I really just need a weekend away where I can just, you know baby..... where I can just be his for the weekend..."
She pulled my face to hers and said, "I love you baby, I hope you know that, but... well... I just need this... you know... after all this and then with the kids coming back so soon afterward...”
I could tell she was turned on herself even after having been with him earlier. She leaned back and I saw her eyes go to my cock and how hard I was and how I was stroking away. She smiled as she watched me she said, "Ooh honey, I love that you are turned on by this..."
She smiled and, breathing heavy, slid her bra straps down from her shoulders and as I watched her tweak her nipples, she said " … so I might as well just tell you the rest … uh, so, let me see, how can I say this ....?"
I looked at her and she paused for a moment and then after taking a breath she said, "I guess there's no other way to say it than to just say I know I've been letting you... you know... surprising you and letting you 'have me' but I want to say that you probably shouldn't expect much more of that at least not till we're into summer a bit more."
With that she slid over towards me and rubbed her breasts up against my arm and shoulder and said, "besides, I know it turns you on to use condoms with me and I was just sharing that I think we should be moving back in that direction baby".
I was really stroking away and I told her that it did turn me on and that it was something that I'd been expecting and maybe even wanting to hear. My god, did she moan at that and she leaned up next to me and whispered, "Baby.... it just really turns me on that you like that only Paul gets to cum in me...."
It was soooo erotic to hear her say that and then she added, "I just need some time right now and then, maybe after next weekend," she giggled "After next weekend, I promise you can fill one with me baby."
She looked down at my cock and said, "Come on baby, now let me watch you cum..."
I stroked for a moment longer then she added, "My panties are wet right now from him baby...”
That was it, I grunted and I let fly and spurted! She moaned out loud to see it and I would have sworn she'd had an orgasm from how she sounded but she never touched her pussy or rubbed it at all.
She was moaning softly as I stroked my cock and felt the last spurt fly and sure enough, I felt her hand on mine and then moving mine out of the way as she wanted to have the last few strokes before it softened totally. As she pulled on it she moaned again about, "how horny that makes me to watch you cum like that honey". Then as she reached down between my balls she looked at me and said, "Let me get this first." Both our eyes watched as she, like an expert now, ran her thumb up from way down below and she drew out the thickest, gooiest and most tart last blobs of cum. As she did so she moaned softly and said, "Oh god that is so hot .... that this is not in me..... ooohhh...".
She didn't pull her panties to the side or even let me see where they were wet at the end. She moved up on one elbow and looked at me and said again how she loved me and then she said, as if it were nothing like asking me about the weather, she just said, "do you want it?"
I just looked up at her and nodded. I watched as she wiped up a big glob of cum onto her finger and she brought it up to my lips and she watched as I cleaned off her fingers. No sooner did she pull her hand away did she lean in and kiss me passionately sharing the first tastes of my cum with me.
*******
Not sure what more I can say except to say that I sort of understand how she is feeling and what she wants. I'm also not as convinced as she made it sound that she's not going to want some loving with me this weekend. While she may feel cold about it right now, I suspect that come Sunday night, she may likely feel otherwise.
*******
Maybe it's me and I just don't know it or feel it, but right now, it feels exciting to me to see and hear her able to tell me what she would like to do and feel. Of course I'd like to have sex with her at some point over the next week, but at the same time I can so understand her wanting that time to build up for her to be away with Paul.
I already know what I'm going to feel when she's away and I really want to feel that. I'm hard thinking about it already, knowing that she'll be so hot and horny for him.
Regarding what she said about condoms, I had to admit to myself to have been surprised that she's allowed me the few times so far without using one so to be told that it is coming to an end also didn't totally surprise me. I'm thinking that her thoughts were that if she's going to be seeing Paul less, it's not a surprise she'd ask me to use condoms more.
I’m thinking it is likely by the time she gets back from being away with him, that I will feel a more urgent and pressing need to be physically with her. I am hoping that she'll 'be in the mood' when she gets back but I also know in the back of my mind that I may be waiting till a week from Monday for my next time to have sex with her.
I am so looking forward to that and I believe even she knows that I will NEED to have sex with her before she sees him again after they get back. Perhaps it has come to the point now of something I've been aware of for some time, that I do have needs that I will need to satisfy. Perhaps that is a last vestige of my former alpha-self; that this is one thing I do need. As I said, I think she's quite aware of it.
Perhaps my reminding her of this is a good thing right now.
******
It's difficult to describe how I feel at times but I believe Suzanna and I have figured out what we both need. I know that she wants and needs the spontaneity that she's shown in surprising me with weekends away and, yes, with her asking me to go bare with her at times.
I understand and accept that both of these are not predictable or able to be planned by me, but so far, the frequency has surprised me as have her comments on resuming more condom use. I guess what we all have yet to see is whether she will make good on what she's said and how she is about it; whether it’s something she's doing because she wants it or is it because she knows I need it.
I'm not sure of what to think about the difference between those 2 reasons. It's a puzzle.
For me, I think what I am sensitive to is the same thing; that I need to know if she's saying she'll be with me or let me have her, that it's something she means and isn't just taunting or teasing me about and then letting me hang.
From a personal perspective, I am being realistic when I say that 2 maybe 3 months is as long as I can comfortably go without having penetrative sex with her. It is a little scary to say that I can surely give up cumming in her and instead be using condoms for far far longer, that even the thought of an indefinitely long period no longer scares me as it did in the past.
It could be longer depending on other things (a good satisfying blow-job goes a long way!) In all honesty, at most every 3 months I do need to feel her intimately but even as I look back at that statement I also have to say that I’m not sure that just 4x a year would work!
I'm not sure what to say other than I know what I need but I just don't know how often.
What I do know is that as long as we do stay in sync that I am far more accepting of her desires than I think I realized. Perhaps we've become even more symbiotic with each of us together acting as one. The look on her face as she watched me cum on Wednesday night just brings such intense feelings of closeness and intimacy so that I don't necessarily feel the loss in other areas.
Not sure if that makes any sense.
******
Her *** came home late yesterday afternoon. I haven't gone by to visit yet but Suzanna was there yesterday evening and again this morning. She's came back already and is now off to get a mani/pedi which should take her mind off things. She says he looks even frailer than before and he is barely able to get around much less express himself clearly. They say there was no permanent damage other than sprains and bruises but Suzanna says he just looks more tired and now she's worried about her mom and that they may need to make changes yet again to get more assistance if they need it.
*******
I could tell her mind was everywhere but sex when we talked last night and again today so, in some ways, I think the best Mothers' Day present for her would be for me to not pressure or ask her about sex but to simply leave her be for now. I will even venture to say that in some ways, I almost want to send her off next weekend now if she's going to mope like she seems to presently be doing. It sounds weird to say it but right now, the thought of Paul fucking some of this mood out of her sounds like a good thing to me.
*******
I no longer believe I have full control in waving a 'Stop Card'; I don't think I could tell her to stop in general. However, I do think that she would still respect my wishes if something bad were to happen between Paul and I, in that maybe it'd hurt but I do think she'd break it off with him if it went sour somehow. At least I can hope and I tell myself that.
I think the real question on the Stop-Card is whether I would ever want to ask her to stop. Whether it's the past 9 years of something she's learned to enjoy and now wants to continue, or whether it's 9 years of me learning to enjoy and respect and appreciate it, it's still a lot time. It would be hypocritical for me to suddenly say, "No more fucking around" when it still turns me on to this day.
*******
Not a day goes by that I don't have a horny sexual thought and desire for her. I think is really amazing after now over 30 years together to still have and want her, for whatever reason. I know she enjoys the sex with Paul and I really like knowing that, it feels good to say it and to mean it.
That's not to say I wouldn't tell her one day that I have had enough. I mean while I love the thought of her going off with him for a few days (and I mean, really love it) and while she's away I'm going to be kicking myself, I also know when she comes back that it's going to bring new feelings and desires between us that I am continually eager to feel and experience with her.
Maybe if she suddenly started spending more and more time with him and less time here with me then I am quite sure that over time it might lead me to feeling differently; a few days is one thing, but a few days a week is another.
I actually was thinking back to not so long ago when she floated the idea of wanting to spend a weeknight at his place in addition to either Friday or Saturday. While that idea was definitely a horny thought, in reality, that might be too much for me. I think she's aware of that.
*****
Happy Mother’s Day and Suzanna is over at her parents and I'm giving her some 'alone time' to spend with them as she said she'd rather wait till her *** is a little better and her mom are a bit less tired before I go and visit, so I'm home waiting for her to get back. I already made her feel special with a gift of earrings, a card and some flowers as well as cooking breakfast. I have dinner lined up for later so it should make for be a nice afternoon and evening when she gets home.
I got the hint from her before she left that there's not going to be any sex tonight. I'm not disappointed as I was not expecting it; already I feel that we'll just have a really nice relaxing evening and maybe light a fire in the fire-pit later.
Even Paul knew to give her some space this weekend as he's actually spending some time with his own ******.
*******
I'm not sure there is a stop-card any more. I think that when I confessed to her with my beta-desires, that I think at that point I may have relinquished that level of control, or at least I am accepting that may be when I believe I let it go.
I am sure that if I truly wanted to re-adopt the alpha-role and, if the ****** situation would continue to mature where maybe our son isn't home next summer and our ******** might be gone by the following one, that at that point me being the alpha again might work for her again. (Or maybe that's just conjecture in my own head and I'm over-thinking things!).
The thing is, as I've said, I like what we're doing. I have definitely easier feelings towards the more physical aspects of sex and I have a much greater appreciation for the excitement of sharing that physical sex with her with others.
Her denial of me this week is something that I want to feel. I see her every day, usually in the nude several times and as the week progresses I know that will continue to get me hornier and hornier knowing Paul will be the one to feel her next and that he'll be the one to who she directs her desires. It may sound crazy but it's something I really enjoy feeling and knowing. So already I know how I am going to be feeling this week.
To put my mind at ease, before she left today she kissed me, cupped my cock and balls and said, "next Sunday honey".
I didn't prompt her or remind her or anything; she did that on her own and kissed me again before she left.
She's the best.
******
Suzanna mentioned last night that there’s been a bit of controversy which, while annoying to her, played into her favour.
It is what I have seen emerging recently with Paul regarding Suzanna. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but he seems to be acting differently about her; more specifically, putting her second behind his golf-game. Apparently he told her he'd be leaving her early on Sunday for to go and play in some match.
She said that she was hoping for a second 'lazy morning' before coming home but now realizes with some annoyance that won't be the case. However, she said she has consoled herself inasmuch that she'll get to see her parents earlier on Sunday morning.
It was interesting to see her response to this change of plan last night and I could sense her annoyance but she feigned it not bothering her. I'd say that this might be the first 'crack' I see in whatever their relationship is. On a positive note, I also think this bodes well for our Sunday time together.
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I think it's truly annoyed her being deprived of more time on Sunday with him by his golf game, especially as she recognizes that our ******** will be home just a few days later so the opportunity has been lost for a while. As for him being around long-term, I think I said that I felt that from him early on, that he seemed to recognize and more so, respect our marriage.
My reference to this being a crack in their relationship was also intended to think that maybe the honeymoon period is ending for them, that perhaps he feels he can put his golf-game ahead of her. It'll be interesting to see how she feels about it as I've already begun to feel the effects.
Last night was different; she was already sounding a little annoyed from telling me about his golf plans for Sunday so I think that was part of her sort of pissy mood and her being more aggressive in her teasing of me than on most Wednesdays. It was very exciting nonetheless and I clearly responded but it was a bit different.
She was very vocal about watching me and also seemed to enjoy telling me how exciting it was for her to have sex with her lover and, ".. to know that you and I are not!"
She seemed to be much more focused on watching me than usual. She told me several times how horny it makes her to watch me and, ".. 'know that you're not cumming in me."
As I was starting to get into it she turned to me and, in her teasing way, whispered that I was going to have to, " ..wait a while before you get me bare again baby … that you're going to be using condoms for a while baby...." and then after a pause, ".. but I know that turns you on, doesn't it?" She then proceeded to tell me how erotic it made her feel to only 'really feel' sex with her lover and how his big cock made her naughty and sexy and young feeling it.
She'd pushed my hand down into my pants and by the time she started to tease me, she'd already coaxed my pants down and had me stroking my cock slowly. She sat up and took off her top leaving just her bra on, stood up and said, "Keep going honey, I want to watch you".
She slid off her pants leaving just her panties on and stared at me and she knew I was looking up at her she unclipped her bra and let it slide off revealing her gorgeous breasts with nipples that were now hard and erect. She sat back on the bed next to me and told me she loved seeing me get hard when I looked at her and how sexy it made her feel. She then lay against my side and whispered something that I wasn't ready for when she said, "I'm going to leave my panties on."
I looked at her, groaned and said something that sounded like 'OK' to which she then giggled and said, "No silly, they're staying on till I go away, you'll get to see me again on Sunday."
She giggled again and said, “you can just imagine how wet I am right now" and sort of hissed as she kissed my ear. As she leaned back up onto her elbow she said in almost a commanding voice, "let me see you cum baby".
She must have seen that I was on the edge and I guess recognized that I would want some more teasing she whispered, "You know I'll be really wet from him when I get home baby." It was how she said it in this slow sexy voice that was just so hot.
Not quite more than a minute or two later the vision of them together came into my head and that was it, I grunted and she moaned out loud as I squirted all over my chest and stomach. I think she was rubbing her legs together which caused her to have a tiny orgasm of her own from how she was breathing and how her face looked when I looked up at her. She had this distant look, an almost glazed look in her eye, but she was conscious enough to reach down and do the last stroke for me. As she did so she let out another moan when she caused the last few spurts to land on me.
She went to bed after that with her panties on and has done the same this morning where she had them on by the time she came out of the shower. She giggled when she saw me trying to peek into the bathroom at her!
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I'm up on a call with work and she's gone off to sleep already. She packed a small bag to take with her and I hadn't really realized she was leaving straight from work. I asked her where they're going and she said she didn't know yet but suspected maybe some place near the beach based on some comments he'd made.
She talked with me a bit tonight and apologized for how harsh she may have seemed on Wednesday night but at the same time she also made it quite clear that she's looking forward to the weekend and said several times that, "I need this."
While I didn't say it, I need this too. It has turned me on that my wife had just told me she was looking forward to spending the next 2 nights and days fucking her boyfriend. A thought that has me horny already.
I know this isn't for everyone, what we're doing and how we're playing with it; whether it's going too far or not far enough, whatever, it feels good … for both of us.
I really don't mind that much that she's going away with him. Earlier tonight I told her that I liked him fucking her and just as I said, I don't mind it. She just giggled and said that's a good thing for both of us.
*****
I got up to see her off to work.
She was somewhat more emotional with me this morning than I expected. She hugged me and there wasn't any cuck-teasing this morning, she just told me how much she loved me and how wonderful I was for giving her all the things I do.
We kissed, a lot actually, and as I walked her down to the door and then out to her car she hugged me again and reached down and felt that my cock was hard. She smiled at me and said, "take care of yourself tonight honey...." and then added, " … but maybe wait after that ... I promise we'll have fun on Sunday". With that she cupped my balls, smiled and then said, "I need to go honey".
I kissed her forehead and opened the car door and motioned for her to go saying, "Go, it'll be fine."
When she closed the car door she mouthed to me, "Love you".
I know I'll feel differently later tonight but right now, I am very comfortable with her going off with him.
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That’s another book filled. Moving on ....
*******
