Journal of a Journey - Book Thirty Three

I do think she is looking forward more now to being with Ray than perhaps she was in the past. Maybe I'd say it's that I feel it's also that she knows it turns me on that is also encouraging her onwards. Surely the willingness I have on Wednesday's has to be conveying that I am enjoying her newfound desires. I'm also accepting that now, with the running around with her ***, that this weekly time to shed the rest of her cares, is also a good thing for her. Maybe even more-so since she's begun to share herself with me when she gets home.

Unfortunately, the heat and generally lousy weather put a damper on my expectation of Ray coming by more often but maybe that was a bit much to expect to begin with. It's been just too busy this summer with so much going on for us to fit anything else in. We were lamenting that we didn't even get to the nude beach once this summer but, having said that, it doesn't mean it's been a lousy summer altogether....

Will she (want to) see Ray more after school gets back going and our son is away again? I don't know. Perhaps with only one kid at home there will be fewer questions needing to be answered and if she wanted to see him more, I'd be okay with it; she knows how I feel about it.

I have been asking myself do I find she is looking forward to fucking Ray now that she has me masturbate for her. I am wondering if that once the kids go back to school and college, Suzanna and Ray might be able to get together more often during the week. This might give her the opportunity to extend my denial and help her become more attached to Ray's cum in her pussy. Would I like that; would I be okay if she asked me to not penetrate her for ‘a little while’ again if we continue to have our Wednesday fun?

I've long said it and I still mean it, I don't think I could ever simply not have sex with her again; that I could never feel that silky pussy envelop my cock; that I could never feel just how awesome it feels to cum deep inside her? That's just not going to happen and it could never be a permanent thing but I will say that given the way Wednesdays and Thursdays are going, that I could accept a longer period of time.

Just writing that and my cock is rock hard but my brain is trying to still ask, why does that turn me on so much? The thought of her going days or weeks and just being with him it's insane but, at the same time, my god, what an awesome sexual feeling it is to think about.

Looking back it has always turned me on by having to wait perhaps two weeks or more to have sex with her again. Now a part of me is incredibly aroused to think of only seeing her in panties other than when she'd share her used pussy with me to lick.

I just wish it made more sense to me as to why all of this turns me on? It's crazy.

I'm not sure I want to ask her what she has in mind. I mean for the short-term, yes, that's fine but I don't want to make her feel like this has to go anywhere other than where it is. I want to give her the clear message that so far, wow, does it all ever turn me on and that if she wants to do more that I am right here with her. But, as I've said it all along, I want this to be her that wants this and not always/necessarily being her doing it because she knows it turns me on.

I've also told her that I enjoy my Wednesdays and not cumming in her and all of that but should I tell her that I am okay with it just being Ray who cums in her if that's what she'd want? I haven't come out and said it in this way because I don't want to orchestrate things or plant ideas in her head but if she were to come to that desire on her own, as with everything else, if it comes from her, I would never say no.

I know she is getting her enjoyment out of everything we're doing. Even the pantie-routine that she continues to want to do this, day-in/day-out, week after week, it's clear she is enjoying this and that is what I am loving being a part of.


Suzanna had mentioned that with all of the stuff going on in her ****** that it reinforced what we've long said to each other; that you have to live when you can live and not put things off. I think that belief is what's giving her added desire to take advantage of what's going on between us.

I am also becoming more aware that Suzanna is very careful to give me what I need to be confident in her and yes, go along with her desires. Tuesday night we spent sitting out on our deck with a bottle of wine talking, the kids were out and it was one of those moments when I could see more of what she sees as the benefits from her pantie-denial. Normally, I'd have been itching to get her inside into bed after spending time like that out on the deck talking about things including sex and yet, I know that she liked the freedom to know that I wasn't going to pounce on her the moment we went up to bed. How do I know it? Because she said it to me! She pointed out that because both of us knew we weren't going to have sex beforehand, that it made it easier for us to just talk. The kids weren't around so we could talk openly just not loudly.

She asked me how I was doing lately and she commented that she thought we had come to a really nice rhythm in our lives. I agreed and commented that despite the kinkiness of what we're doing, that I feel very satisfied and content; aroused but also not worried. She held my hand and said that she too feels that we've come to an interesting point; that it's been a long time since she's felt so good sexually and then she said something that stuck with me, she said that it's the first time in a long time where she feels genuine desire when she's having sex. I was confused as it sounded weird but she said that for a long time, sex didn't seem like it was on her schedule.

She told me not to take it the wrong way, it was nothing to do with me, but whether it was me or her lover that she often felt like sex wasn't on her schedule, but rather, it was on someone else’s. Now, she says that the pantie thing helps her build up her own desires. She also held my hand tightly when she again said that she didn't mean it in a bad way but that she enjoys having Ray first after waiting Monday-Thursday. I told her it was okay and that as long as she was enjoying it, that it would be okay with me. I even added that I'd been ‘first’ for so many years that I was sure she was enjoying the change. She giggled and then said, "yeah, and you surely benefit from it when I'm so horny for you afterwards!”

It was a nice conversation, not really teasing, but more sharing. Yes, I cringed a bit inside when she told me that she really enjoys being naked with Ray. I don't know why, maybe it’s because when I'm with them she's always put on a robe or a shirt but I'd almost forgotten that she does that for me and that when I'm not there she's usually naked with him. She reached over and touched my shoulder and asked me if I was still okay with that and I responded that it was her thing and if she enjoyed it then, so be it.

My comment triggered quite a short discussion. She sat up on the lounge chair and turned to me and asked me what was wrong. I told her that I'd just sort of forgotten about that and I was being honest with her. I told her that at times that knowledge can turn me on incredibly but at other times, it gives me a bit of angst at knowing she holds nothing back from him. I told her that it is sometimes an awkward feeling knowing Ray truly ‘has’ all of her.

Still touching me, she told me that she could understand it (and commented that's why she'll put that robe/shirt on because she knew it) but she then said what she's said all along, that since she started it with Peter (and as she came out and said) as a way to break down her barriers and to force herself back then to be totally sexual with him, that she's felt it still does that, removes all her inhibitions and lets her disconnect from everything else knowing she is all his. She must have heard me take a deep breath at that; she held my hand and said that it lets her let go of everything else and enjoy the sex with him.

This whole conversation wasn't anxious or even really awkward, it didn't even seem to take much effort or courage to open up to for either of us. As I said, it's become so much easier to just talk openly about all of this.

In the end, after we'd gone up to bed on Tuesday night, she was very close to me. Wearing just her panties I could feel her breasts up against my back as she came over to me and pulled me down onto my back. She kissed me quite passionately and told me unconditionally that she loved me and how lucky she was. We talked for a little more and I told her that I felt the same way before we went off to sleep.

Suzanna's become very good at, perhaps you could call it, manipulating me.


I'm not sure that I totally appreciate her manipulating me but the up-side is her giving me a lot of comfort and good-feelings before she wants something which is exactly what happened last night.

As previously mentioned, I think at times Suzanna views the reaction she sees/feels in my cock as sort of a lie-detector. Last night followed that same pattern.

It started out like any other Wednesday night for us. We said goodnight to our ******** and our son was nowhere to be found so we went up to the bedroom. We turned the TV on but there was nothing that caught our interest right away. Suzanna turned to me and said, "are you horny?”

I told her, "of course" and she asked if I was looking forward to cumming and I told her, "of course" again. She giggled and said that she really, really liked this routine and building on the conversation from Tuesday night she said that she really liked sharing it with me. I told her that I'd come to also enjoy it and she smiled as I pushed the cover down and she could see the bulge in my boxers.

I slid them off and the smile on her face grew bigger when she saw that I was fully hard already. I started to stroke myself slowly and that was when she started to tease me. She asked me if I'd masturbated to the pictures she'd let me take of her. I confessed openly to her that I did. She told me to tell her more and I just said that seeing her naked like that always turned me on and especially the cream-pie picture (I didn't call it that with her) got me really horny.

She asked if I had fantasized that it was Ray's cum and not mine. It wasn't so much what she asked but also how she asked it with this sexy tease in her voice. All I could do/say was groan that it did and she looked at my cock starting to throb she knew it turned me on. As nonchalantly as if she was telling me it was raining out she said, "He usually fucks me twice you know". I groaned back something like, "I thought so" and then she kind of leaned down towards me and said, "He cums a lot too" in this really sexy voice. Damn did that get me close and I think she knew it. She leaned back away from me again and pulled up her night-shirt to show me her panties and she patted them over her pussy and said, "he's going to do it again tomorrow too". I was getting really hot from this; I could feel my first load brewing.

I was lost in my own world for a moment until I heard her say, "You like that, don't you? Tell me...” I lost the train of thought for a second and then she said ," ... that he cums in me, tell me.....” I was still lost in this mental fog and I had to come down from there to be able to speak more clearly. I took a deep breath and told her that I loved that she shared herself with Ray and that it turned me on that it was sort of like ‘evidence’ that it was real.

"Are you okay that Ray knows me as intimately as you?" and before I could answer she continued, " ... that we've shared many an orgasm together, that he's felt me at my most vulnerable....." and I could tell it wasn't easy for her to say all of this as she hesitated "....that he's made me cum like you have?"

I don't know how that excited me but hearing the sexual tension in her voice, seeing her eyes glued to my cock; it was like she was sharing her deepest thoughts with me. I managed to tell her that I was okay with it and added that I loved that she would share the moment with me when she gets home on Thursdays now. I know I've told her that a thousand times already but it seemed like she needed to hear it again and apparently I was right. Once I said I was okay, that seemed to let her open up and go with it. She told me how comfortable she is with Ray and how (and she said it exactly this way), "I like it when he's in me from behind and I can feel all of him".

She must have been looking at my cock as she said that because a second later she said, "oooh mmmmm" and when I looked down I could see a stream of pre-cum running down my hand with each stroke. So, again, with the lie-detector, how can I possibly deny that hearing her got me closer and closer to cumming! With that response from me she lay herself down along side of me and ran her hand up my body, my arm, chest, shoulder and she took on this deep sexy tone, "I like watching you cum".

I moaned and I choked out a reply of, "I know" and she then said, "you don't have to talk; you can just listen..... this gets me so horny watching you". She leaned up towards me and told me how it turned her on that I wasn't going to cum in her and then said, "but Ray is going to". I swear, all I could do was groan even if I wanted to answer, the moment was just so awesome that I didn't want to utter anything.

It needed no answer but she asked it anyway to tease me, "You like that don't you; that he's going to but you're not?"

I guess my hand was like a blur by this point. I was on the verge of my first orgasm but at the same time it seemed like slow motion in a way. It was when she cooed in my ear, "come on baby, let me see your cum fly." Well, it got to me and that was it. I grabbed at her hand with my left and held it tightly as I stroked furiously. She kissed my ear and whispered, "come on.... for me...." and that was it. I felt myself tighten up and then I felt the first spurt jet out of me. At the 3rd thick spurt Suzanna cooed, "mmmm, you look soooo hot". By the 6th or 7th which was more like a dribble I let go and finally felt my body relax.

I'd barely caught my breath when I realized that I think Suzanna had cum herself (apparently without touching herself!) and we both started to giggle at what'd just happened. She rolled up onto her side towards me and started to run her finger through the streaks of cum. She traced it into her name in script and then began to collect it all together.

Is it weird to say that this has become one of my favourite moments between us. It just feels good to lie there next to her as she collects up the cum she's helped me squirt and to then clean it off her fingers.

As she pushed it towards my stomach she again said how it turned her on that I'd, " .... cum on your stomach instead of in me". She was just talking nonchalantly when she said, "maybe we should do this for a little while?”

That got my attention and I picked my head up and said "what do you mean?"

She said, "nothing, I was just thinking...”

I prodded her and she said, "it’s nothing, just something that I'd read about in a story in one of the Penthouse Letters".

So I pushed her on it; she was quiet for a few seconds and said that she didn't know if it was something she really wanted but that it turned her on to read about.

I held her hand and told her, “it's okay” and I used myself as an example and said, "how much crazier can it be than what I've told you turns me on?”

She giggled at that and said, "okay, you're right, we can talk about this openly, right?”

Well, she came out and said that the story that had turned her on was one where after taking a lover, that the wife had the thought that her husband had been having sex with her (in this story) for like 10 years and Suzanna admitted that it turned her on when the wife in the story said she thought she should maybe take a break. She was very quick to say that she knew that when Dan had suggested this, that I was all angry and that she knew to not mention it.

So my immediate response was, "is this something Ray asked you for?"

That question brought a resounding laugh from her and an immediate, "I wish...." and she proceeded to tell me that Ray wasn't going to be the forceful type no matter how much she'd tried to encourage him. She said she’s realizing that she has some desires that even without his explicit desire, that she still found them arousing to think about. She looked at me and said that she loved our Wednesday routine and then said that some of what she'd felt from that story was also at play in Wednesdays and Thursdays with us. I was about to say something when she said, "seeing you cum like this .... it turns me on".

I was quiet for a moment and I think Suzanna read that as my being uncomfortable with it and she said, "never mind, it was a crazy idea". I told her that we could talk a little about it, that I'd at least want to hear what she was thinking. She sat up next to me and held my hand and she said, "I don't know, sometimes I think that it's been 30 years with you ..." and she held my hand tighter, " ... sometimes I think about taking a break for a few weeks or so .... but then I know that you don't want that.....".

She took a break and I was just about to say something when she added, "I don't even know if I want that myself.....". I felt that she had more to say so I was quiet and sure enough she continued, ".... it turns me on to think about it while I watch you masturbate .... but then I love our weekends when it's our turn...." With that it seemed like she was almost going to start crying.

I held her and said, "listen, it’s okay. It turns me on to think about it too but I don't think either of us is ready for that right now". She sniffed in and hugged me and I kissed her cheek and said, "we can talk and you can tease me about it if you want" and then it was my turn to take a breath and I said, "if it's ever something you want to be more serious about, we can talk about it". She hugged me and said she loved me and how lucky she was again. I hugged her back and said that I felt the same and I told her to make her feel more comfortable about it that, "it some of those thoughts that turn me on when you make me wait or when you went away with him". She smiled at me and hugged me again.

When I lay back she leaned over and giggled and said, "you're all sticky, wait here" and she went off to the bathroom and came back with a washcloth and cleaned me off.


I re-read what I just written and I think I may have made it sound like this was a huge thing between us. It wasn't; it was actually a pretty brief, if revealing, conversation that took maybe 5 minutes at most. It's not like we haven't talked about almost all of this before, but this was, I admit, the first time she admitted to this fascination of hers of watching me masturbate.

Again, I lay there with my mind going a million miles an hour and I thought that it was good that she'd said what she did. It was obvious to me that she felt a lot of conflict in a way at enjoying watching me and I hoped that what I'd said calmed her down a bit. I also thought back to what I'd said without thinking too much and I hoped I hadn't said something that would change what she wants to do. I honestly think that is what is making this so enjoyable for me even if it does seem so odd. It’s knowing this time that this is what she wants for herself and that seems to make me calm about most everything.

Suzanna clicked the TV off and rolled over towards me and said, "Thanks". When I asked her what-for, she said that she now felt better about her crazy thoughts. I laughed at her and said she sounded like me now! She giggled and said, “we go together so well!”

She kissed me and then I could tell she was playful and she pushed the blankets down and started to play with my chest-hair and then she reached into my boxers and with a gentle grasp asked, "ready again?” It was my turn to giggle as she started to stroke me saying, "You feel good" as she could feel my cock thickening and hardening. I said, "Well, I love hearing you tell me about what you want like you did before".

She slid up to my face and kissed me and said, "good, because that got a little carried away before". I was gently moaning as she stopped stroking me with her hand and she put mine on my cock and started me in motion. She said, "You said something before that I wanted to ask you more about".

My mind raced at what we'd talked about and I said, “Remind me”.

She kissed me again, "what you said about being turned on when I was away with Ray". A second later she let out this sound that told me that my cock had again given away my feelings.

I said, "yeah, what?"

She looked at me and said to me, "You know I told you I might want to go away with him again"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I do want to and I want you to be okay about it.” I moaned something in reply and she leaned over closer and talked in that really sexy voice in my ear again, "you told me it turned you on, right?" I nodded a sort of hesitant yes. "Don't be silly about it, it's nothing about you, you know that" and then she said, "I don't want to upset or hurt you but I do want to go with him".

I know that part of me should have been upset or irritated by this but at the same time, yes, I knew it was coming and, in a way, well, our whole conversation earlier had also sort of been a prelude to this. I can't explain it but as I lay there stroking my cock I had this moment of clear thought, that I could let this derail the evening and lead to it ending on a possibly sour note or I could give in to the throbbing in my cock and the undeniable arousal that I had at hearing her say that. I was a bit lost in thought as she talked but a moment later, the urge between my legs outweighed the conflict in my head and I lay back. She leaned down to kiss me and with my free hand I pulled her to me and kissed her passionately back and said, "I'm sure we'll work something out".

I guess it took her a second to realize what I'd said before she smiled at me and said, "you're the best". I was resuming stroking my cock again and, I admit, all sorts of horny thoughts about her and Ray began to go through my head.

"It turned you on last time didn't it; knowing I'd be all Ray’s for a few days?"

I nodded and sort of moaned a ‘yes’ back.

She smiled and said "I promise it'll be okay for you too" and she giggled about, "we'll just have to make sure you do a good job like this before I leave". I started to stroke myself more firmly and with more force. She noticed and cooed her support in my ear, "just think how much I'll want you when I get back ... and I can tell you all about it if you want". Damn, it was her sexy voice that was doing it more than what she was saying, that is until she said, "I can tell you all about how much he cums in me.....”

Wow, it was the way she said it that did it. Damn, my cock began to throb immediately as she said that. I grunted back something about ‘when?’ and ‘where?’ and she told me again that there was a Builder’s show he was going to and how she thought it'd be fun to go with him. Then with this really sexy voice she said, “You know, I can be his again for a few days".

Now there was more stuff that we'd both said, but I groaned out loud as she told me how she was horny herself thinking about it. She knew I was close to cumming (I suppose it's kind of obvious in the way my hand motions change and how my body starts to tremble a bit) but between the earlier conversation and the direction I'd let it now take, damn,

I was so horny as I stroked away and I told her so; I told her that it made me horny to think of her with him like that, holding nothing back. She smiled at me and said she couldn't wait to feel him all night long.

It was all sexy talk, teasing talk from her to get me off but I also knew there was some truth to it. I felt her hand on my body, moving down from my chest to my stomach, to my hips and then to my leg closest to her. She gently pulled it to her and I was not sure if it was conscious or not but she knew I was really close. She leaned down and again kissed my face and then over to my ear. A second later she pulled back and said, "will you be okay if I want to leave my rings home again?"

Again, it wasn't just what she said; it was how she said it in this sexually suggestive sultry whisper. Well, whatever it was, damn, did it get to me and a moment later as she whispered how leaving her rings had turned her on so much the last time, that was it, I let out a muffled moan and my next load spewed out of me. I grunted as it almost hurt in a way I was being so rough with my cock which only served to intensify my orgasm. When I realized that not only was Suzanna quiet but she was also breathing deeply, I realized that she'd been very turned on by the whole scene too. I surprised even myself with how intense this second cum was for me.

This time, as I lay there after drawing out the last drops of cum, it was me that started the discussion, "so, it's a sure thing, you want to go with him?"

She just nodded her head slowly and said, "don't hate me because of it".

I hugged her and said it wasn't that I hated her or even hated Ray but I told her that I'd needed to get used to the idea. She kissed me and said, "Okay, I'll tell you whatever you want to know".

At that moment, the only thing I really wanted was to feel her close to me but I had to ask her, "is this happening soon?"

She shook her head no and said, "not till late September".

I said, "good, then let’s talk about it later" and I pulled her towards me and kissed her.

She giggled and said, "okay" and kissed me again. When she pulled back she said in this passionate voice, "I love you so much" and I said "I love you too". She then looked down at my stomach and said, "Ooh, someone is a mess" and as she squeegeed my cum together she said quietly, "this is a lot for your second time". She didn't say more but I knew what she'd meant and what was now going unsaid.

I tried to put out of my head whatever feelings and thoughts that were swirling around; I just wanted to enjoy this closeness again with her and I did. It seemed like we shifted gears all at once and went from this intense discussion to a loving moment where she presented her cum covered fingers to me to lick off.

When she was satisfied I was cleaned up she hugged me and said, "If you don't want me to go, I won't, you know that .... ". A second later she added, " ... but I do want to go".

I held her for a moment and said, "let’s talk about it over the weekend when we have more time and I'm not being pulled in all different directions". She said she was sorry but that it all ‘just came out’ and I told her not to worry; that it was okay and wasn't a surprise but that I wanted to enjoy the moment and not to go there just now.

She kissed me and promised me she'd make it up to me. I told her as we cuddled up to go to sleep that there was nothing to make up to me about and that I was sure that as long as she was beside me, it'd work out. I can't say that I fell asleep right away but I did eventually drift off.

This morning Suzanna got up before the alarm and let me sleep in a few minutes extra. She seemed chipper and made sure to flaunt her panties as she got herself ready. Before going down to get breakfast as I was pulling on my pants she came to me, kissed me and hugged me and told me I was a ‘special guy’.


It's now 5pm and no doubt she is already at Ray’s. Damn I'm horny despite last night. Maybe not going for a 3rd time is the difference?


My mind went to thoughts about the Builder’s show and it makes sense as Ray had mentioned friends/co-workers that ‘moved south’. I didn't come out and ask her specifics but she did say that she'd be away a ‘few days’ and when I asked whether they'd be flying or driving she said that too hadn't been decided yet but then she commented that it's like a 9 hour drive which would make Charlotte a possibility.

She asked me several times if I was going to be okay if she went with him; each time she asked I've told her that I am sure I'll be okay.


She did come home as expected on Thursday but I didn't get to join her upstairs in our bedroom until we could get away from the kids and dinner. As I'd mentioned, I was hornier than earlier times but I tried not to show it. When I helped her undress, as she pulled her panties off she made a point to show me that she had a period-pad in them, "see, I do still use them sometimes" and I realized that she knew we weren't going to be able to run up to the bedroom when she got home. She giggled at me and said, "it's still wet, he was horny and he went for 3rds".

I know she didn't realize my cock was hard as I knelt down and began to kiss my way from her ankles up to her knees and then gently up the insides of her thighs!

I simply ought to open up to Suzanna. It will happen at some point, but right now it is a great feeling to show her encouragement and support at the things she suggests or wants to try and to let her do things at her own pace and at her own comfort level. On the one hand, yes, I'd love to say to her, "baby, I want you to only be with Ray for a while" and, yes, I'm sure a positive response from her would titillate and arouse me incredibly but, honestly, what I would so much rather hear her say is for her to come to me and say, "baby, I was thinking that I'd like it to only be Ray having sex with me for a while, what do you think of that?"

Now that's just an example but, for me, if she were to come to me saying that vs. her simply responding to my desire out of a goal to make me happy/happier, well, for me, I want to see her come to that desire as something she wants to explore for herself.


Going back to last Thursday night, I don't have this thought very often but it struck me at how easy it's become to accept that Suzanna has sex with Ray (several times apparently). Every now and then it strikes me that I've seemingly gone from extreme to extreme to now simply accepting it as a part of our ‘norm’. However, this past time was a little different because this time I was horny (or at least hornier than most times; like I said, maybe not going that 3rd time on Wednesday?) so it was a bit different to be licking her wet pussy, feeling her hands on my head as she told me about her night with Ray and all the while my cock was hard and stiff.

I admit that it was a bit more difficult than I'd thought it would be as at several times, especially when I could feel that I'd brought her to orgasm, to not slide up her body and shove my cock into her. I could feel her body respond including her pussy spasming under my tongue and fingers and it took a good deal of focus for me to stay on track and not get lost in my own desires. Still, sharing the moment again with her has become something I do truly enjoy. What better moment can there be than to feel your loved one let go and orgasm profusely? She doesn't hold back now (which is why I didn't want her to know of my hard on; I didn't want her to change her focus) and it felt awesome to hear her telling me and sharing parts of her evening with Ray. Just as she can tell what arouses me as she watches me masturbating, I can tell what parts of her evening she finds to be the most arousing based on how her hands feel in my hair and on my shoulders and the way her body responds as she talks to me.

Despite her professing to be very wet, in truth it wasn't much different than other times despite him having gone for a 3rd time with her. As I'd bring her from one wave of an orgasm to another, I could feel her body spasm and tremble and each time she'd cum, her pussy would contract and that would cause some additional wetness that must have been Ray’s to seep out of her. She told me how he fucked her doggy-style at the edge of the bed and she commented that she likes that position with him just as she likes it with me! As I brought her to her second orgasm (or just the second wave of the first) she told me that for all 3 times with him that she was on the bottom in the missionary position. She cooed as I licked at her wetness that she ‘cums so much better in that position’. I joked back that she knew that was my favourite too.

I will say that I did not give in on Thursday night; I dutifully went to bed with an aching cock waiting for my turn on Friday.


It's an odd feeling at times. I've told Suzanna about it and repeated it again over this past weekend that for whatever reason, that it turns me on as we are fucking knowing she lets Ray fuck her so freely. She giggled back at me and smiled and said that made her feel good to know how I felt. I added later on that I liked knowing that she lets him cum in her because it's what she wants. She smiled at that too and said what I've always known, that she ‘likes to feel it in her’.


So, come last Friday night; Wow! We went out to dinner with the kids who afterwards disappeared for most of the rest of the evening leaving Suzanna and I with the house to ourselves. We opened a bottle of wine and then knowing the kids would be gone for hours we got naked and went skinny-dipping in our pool in the backyard! I could tell she was feeling very sexy and very horny for her to go along with that. As we swam around I reminded her of some of the sex-play that we'd done long ago in our backyard including one time where I lay her on a blanket and tied her arms to the fence around our pool and left her there lying naked while our neighbour’s teenage-kids had a party next door. She playfully slapped me when she remembered it and she confessed that she'd been incredibly turned on when she thought of any of them looking over the fence and seeing her like that.

When we got out of the pool and dried off in the darkness I went up to her and joked, "we should try that again." I guess the wine was loosening her up because she giggled, "Only if you can keep quiet...." and with that she lay down on a lounge chair and spread her legs and said, "want to try it again".

A little saliva helped lubricate the way and as she pulled her knees back I pushed my way into her and we lay there on the lounge chair fucking and trying to keep as quiet as we could. Neither of us could cum as I think we both felt like we'd attract attention (I know I would from how horny I was). I pulled out of her and she giggled at my stiff cock bobbing there and we both ran into the house and finished our fuck right there on the carpet in the den just inside the house! When we were done, she scurried up the stairs fearing that one of our kids would return home and find us sprawled out naked in the den. She did comment to me how horny I seemed to have been. I told her that I was just turned on by her and not that I'd been holding it since the night before!


One thing that did come up was on Saturday night and I wasn't surprised that she was horny again. If there was ever a clear benefit to me from all of this, it is that most of the weeks go when I have to wait a few days followed by 2 if not 3 nights of heightened desire on her part that she shares with me! If for nothing else than these moments, it's all worthwhile.

How many women in the early 50's will still want to openly initiate sex with their husband the day after they just had a good time! It was Saturday afternoon when she came up to me as I was working out in the yard when she said, "now don't be getting all tired and worn out" and she kissed me and continued, "I have plans for you for later". And she surely did! Starting with an intense blow-job that nearly got me to burst in her mouth, she then guided me down to trade-places and again go down and eat out her pussy. Just as I thought I could still taste Ray's semen in her on Thursday night, there was a definite tangy taste in her pussy still on Saturday night, no doubt from my contribution the night before!

As she lay there under me encouraging me to lick and play with her pussy more and more till she was dying to get fucked, I started to tease her and ask her things. As I had 2 and then 3 fingers in her pussy I asked her if she missed Ray not being a bit more dominant with her. I asked her if he ever tied her up or restrained her and she said, "no, that's not his thing".

I asked her if he ever made any demands on her, "like when you guys were away" and she replied back that, "no, he was a gentleman" but I could tell her arousal was rising. In between pushing my fingers into her pussy, I'd sometimes pull them out and give her a gentle but firm spanking, some swats were on her butt but others were right on her pussy. She squealed from the slaps to her butt but the ones to her pussy seemed to have more significance. I'd spread her pussy lips apart from top to bottom revealing her swollen clit at the top and her open vaginal entrance at the bottom and I'd line up my hand and would slap her right there making sure at least one of my fingers slapped right into that crease I'd opened up. I started a pattern, I'd rub around her pussy and when I'd hear her moan, I'd spread her labia and give her a firm swat right on her pussy immediately followed by pushing two fingers back into her and rubbing her clit gently with the heel of my hand. Each time after each swat I'd push my fingers into her and feel her pussy was wetter, hotter and more and more open each time. It was obvious after a few times around that she was so horny. Wetness was dripping out of her pussy after each cycle till she began to moan deeply as I'd push my fingers back into her each time.

"Do you miss this? Dan used to spank you like this, didn't he?" She moaned her response to me as I knew I had her on the verge of an orgasm. We were on a roll and I said, "didn't you used to cum like crazy when he'd do this" and with that I sank my fingers back into her wet pussy. She moaned away under me and amid saying, "yessssssss" to my questions, she began to almost beg me to fuck her. When we were finally ready, I did kneel between her legs and took one last moment to have fun with her pussy before starting to fuck her brains out. At one point I took my index fingers from both hands and put them in her pussy and I pulled it open a bit more than normal; how erotic to look inside her pussy and know that both Ray and I get to cum in her and fill her pussy.

Her eyes seemed to bulge out when I finally pushed my cock into her! Maybe it was because I'd taken the lead in getting her all worked up as opposed to her teasing me. Not sure, but she screamed out in orgasm as I bottomed out in her and ground my cock into her. She locked her legs around behind me and pulled me into her moaning quietly in my ear, "oh god, fuck me ..... fuck me harder" and believe me, it was my pleasure!

At some points I thought I might even hurt her by how hard I was slamming into her but she never flinched. The wetness in her pussy; feeling her pussy opening up; her wet curly hair spread apart; feeling her pussy lips stretching around the base of my cock was just awesome. I plunged into her one last time and felt her body shake under me and as I held my cock still deep in her, I let loose! It felt so incredible to feel her pussy muscles spasming and seeming to almost milk my cock without me even moving in her.

It was afterwards as we lay there that she opened up and talked more about Dan. Actually she started by saying what I've already said here, that she didn't think Ray would ever be more forceful or demanding with her. She giggled and said, "he's just happy with whatever I want". So I asked her if she wanted someone who would be more forceful/demanding with her. She was quiet for a bit and I told her that she didn't have to answer me if she didn't want to. She took a bit longer but then said that, "for now, I think I'm happy with Ray" and then she added that she doesn't think she's ready for someone who was as demanding as Dan hadbeen. She looked at me and said as if trying to remind me that, "he'd wanted things that neither of us was ready for".

I held her and said, "yeah, but that was a while ago and now, maybe they wouldn't be as scary". She laughed at me and said, "yeah, that was a while ago I guess" and that led to a little bit of a discussion.

She reminded me of some of what Dan had asked for that she wasn't happy about, piercing, tattoos or other marks and other guys. I noticed that she'd not mentioned one thing and I added, "as well as wanting you to not have sex with me".

She smiled and looked at me and said, "I didn't mention that because you told me you are okay with more of that now" as if it was nothing. I hugged her and said, "yeah" and at that she said giggled a bit and I asked her, "what?"

She said, "yeah, I guess so, maybe it would be okay if Ray wanted more .... but that's not him so...." With that I interrupted her, kissed her and said, "so, it's whatever you want!"

She smiled at me and said, "mmmmm, I know .... Thank you".

We didn't talk much more after that, at least not about that stuff. She did comment and compliment me on how horny I too seemed to be emphasising it by putting her finger into her pussy and adding, "wow, you came a lot". There was cum on her finger and I took it in my mouth and sucked it clean. She stared intently as I did that and afterwards she said, "that turns me on so much that you don't mind ... " and a second later she said, " ... would you?" and she rolled her eyes towards her pussy and I knew what she wanted. A moment later I was lying between her legs sucking gently at her pussy and making her moan....

With the cool nights now suddenly upon us, last night we took time out to fire up the fire-pit and share a bottle of wine. We talked quietly but openly and she said to me, "you know it's not definite yet". It took me a second to realize she was talking about going away with Ray.

I had told her already that I'd said okay but I figured that maybe she wanted to tell me that she wasn't sure she was ready for it.

It was a weird feeling. I honestly had to ask myself, "should I talk her into it?” Maybe I should just admit to her that I wanted her to go but at the same time I thought, "why is she being hesitant?" So I asked her what was up.

She looked at me and was about to say something when she hesitated and then said something I didn't catch before abruptly changing the subject. I moved my chair closer to her in case she felt inhibited from having to speak more loudly or whatever. I held her hand and I told her in the flickering fire-light that, "I trust you ... more than that, I want it to be something you want ... and if you do, then I definitely want it too - just like you like to do stuff for me". With that she leaned over and kissed me and said never in a million years did she think she'd ever be having this conversation with her husband!

I felt her hold my hand tighter as she started to talk. At first she said how happy she was with everything and she looked at me and emphasized ‘everything’. She actually said, "I never dreamed I could have this much fun and feel okay about it ... " then she looked at me, " .... and it's all because of you .... I love you". She actually thanked me for letting her feel, as she put it, alive sexually again and admitted to being sorry she'd resisted my desires for so long. I told her that it was all part of getting here and that we wouldn't have had the maturity to deal with it a decade earlier.

She loved hearing that. It seemed to calm her down (it even sounded good to me after I'd come out with it) so seizing the moment I asked, "so, what's up?” She looked at me and said that she wasn't sure how she felt about what may happen and how she and Ray will be when they're away. I asked her ,"what more can you guys possibly do?" That's when she said, "I'll truly be his girlfriend the whole time, not like at the wedding where his ****** knew we were just friends".

I was confused but at the same time I could sense her conflict so I asked her, "Is it that he's going to consider you his girlfriend the whole time; or is it that you're going to believe yourself to be his girlfriend?”

In that moment it seemed clear to me. I'd long given her my approval for all the sexual stuff but now she wanted me to tell her it was okay to give herself to him; for her to be his girlfriend and not my wife.

I held her hand and asked her if that's what concerned her, that she could consider herself that, his girlfriend. She kind of sniffed as if there could have been a tear or two welling up and then nodded yes. I wanted to be sure I was on the same wavelength as her so I just said, "you said you felt that way with Dan when you were with him, is this different?".

She held my hand again and said, "yeah, that was all for him. It was fun but it wasn't something that I felt, or wanted to feel".

I had to ask even if it killed the mood, I managed to creak out, "do you love him?". I cringed to hear the answer but at the moment, I had to know, was she developing true feelings for him or did she feel that risk?

She looked at me and said, "No, it's not that. You know that."

"Then what; what is it?"

In the next few moments she said so much stuff, some of which made little sense to me, but in the broader terms she said that it's the first time she's felt like she can be herself with Ray. I didn't know what she meant but she explained and made me remember how it was when she and I first started dating, how devoted she was to me (long before we truly fell in love) to the exclusion of everything else and, yes, how intense the sex was, but it was because it could push everything else out. She reminded me of our first trips away when it wasn't just the sex but it was how she was as related to me. She said that she knew that she would feel that again, to be with his friends and others at the conference as his girlfriend. She held my hand and said that this time she wanted it; she wanted to feel it again.

I held her and asked if I could trust her to know the difference between what we have and what she'll have when she's away. She held me tightly and said that she didn't want to ever lose me and that's what's tormenting her that on the one hand, she's almost scared to admit that she wants to do this for herself because she wants to and at the same time that she doesn't want to hurt me or to do anything that would hurt our future.

She hugged me and I hugged her back and once again told her that I'd be okay with her being away. I kissed her and then told her that I will also be okay knowing why she is away; I told her that I will always love her and that she'll always be my wife. A second later I told her, " ... but if I willingly accept your rings from you ... " (and this took a lot of focus for me to say it) I told her " ... then it means I want you to be his if that's what you want".

We kissed pretty passionately and once again she said something about being lucky and not wanting to hurt us. I hugged her and told her not to worry and said softly to her, "it turns me on to think about you".

That brought a smile back to her face. She took deep breath and hugged me again, kissed me and then said, "Let’s go upstairs". I held her tightly and told her again that I'd always love her and would always want her. She cooed in my ear that all of this talk had made her horny and that she wanted to, "share it with my husband".

As we started to fuck I told her that I'd always be here for her and that she could have her adventure if she wanted adding, " ... as long as you come home to me afterwards". Well, that really set her off and not a moment later her body erupted in a huge orgasm that felt like it'd been building for days despite our fun the prior 2 nights. A moment later the same sentiments can be said for me; despite the previous intensity, there was a gush of cum that flooded her pussy as we both rocked each other to orgasm. All we could do was giggle at each other at the end and we both agreed that any sex that resulted in that kind of spectacular finish must be okay.

I went to the bathroom to get a washcloth for us to clean up and when I came back I stood there for a second and took in the sight of her lying there eyes closed, arms folded back under her head making her breasts stand upright, her now taut stomach flexing with each breath, her knees bent, feet flat on the bed but mostly my attention was taken by how swollen and reddened and ‘used’ her pussy looked with a thick bead of my cum working its way down her ass.

The moment seemed to last forever and I was filled with mental visions of her lying like that when she's away with Ray and the thought of him lying in the bed next to her, equally sated with her body. The thoughts felt incredibly good to me and not at all as uneasy as I'd feared. I coughed to break the moment and then handed her the washcloth. Something as simple as her spreading her legs and bearing down to wipe away our cum seems just so erotic to think that Ray will share many of these same moments with her. I don't know why all of that turns me on, but it does.

What I did feel was that as we were getting ready for bed, brushing our teeth and such, it felt wonderful to feel her naked next to me. We kissed in the bathroom and as I walked towards the bed she stopped in front of her dresser and pulled out a pair of panties. She then turned to me and said, "say goodbye" and she slowly pulled them up.

We cuddled in bed last night. I confess, feeling the pantie-line under her t-shirt was something arousing to me. This morning there seemed to be no weird feelings at all. If anything, there was playfulness in Suzanna that was very refreshing for a Monday morning but there was no peeking beneath her panties.

So, my desire for her begins to grow yet again.


It's weird but I feel relief. It's not what I thought I'd feel, but somehow hearing what she said and how we felt together. Somehow, I feel okay about this even though it is so much more than the last time they went away. Something about her honesty with me, whatever was said or done or if I even managed to convey it properly here, whatever, I feel good about where we are and what is now in motion. Perhaps it was the apprehension about it all in the first place, I don't know.

She still hasn't told me ‘where’ they're going yet nor has she confirmed the date or plans but in my head and from how she's sounding, it is all but confirmed.

Strangely, in my head, I already know that I'm going to be okay this time. I think it just feels different to me. Whatever the reason, the fact that I'll be giving up my wife for a few days is strangely arousing.


I think back to when she and I first met, to when she was in college and even before. She was on the pill very early and all through college and after right up, except for the occasional time here/there, right up to when we had kids. She openly admits that she was promiscuous back then and I always tell her that it was just the way things were back then before HIV and all of that. One-night-stands, heck, one-afternoon-stands were not uncommon. I can't and won't say it was all good because there are always downsides.

When we started dating, I clearly remember many a time when we'd go out during the week (always included sex) and she'd be away for the weekend with someone else. If not alone with a guy, then with a girlfriend and their obvious goal was to find guys for the weekend/vacation. Once we got to the point where we wanted to see each other more than the drink-after-work/fuck-in-the-backseat kind of thing, then those weekends away began to include me. I can recall the first time we spent several days together. It was well before we'd decided we loved each other and it included her bringing a whole small-suitcase full of different lingerie. The first night included a ‘fashion show’ ending with her wearing the most revealing items she owned at the time. The significance of this is that I was not the only one she put on this show for. I knew of at least 2 other guys in the year or so before it was my-turn who'd gone away with her. I think one went skiing (I don't remember about the other) but both had, over many beers and talking about ‘hot chicks at work’ had shared that Suzanna had put on quite the fashion-show.

The point I'm making is that I don't associate her desire for this time to be something she wants with Ray as much as I am convinced she wants to relive those carefree feelings when the next drink and sex were the main goals of the evening.

I do understand it and sympathise. She shared that she's been under a lot of emotional stress between her and her siblings and mom about her *** and his treatment/rehabilitation. That, plus the obvious ever-growing demands at work, plus the estrogen-battle with our ******** and probably a bit of empty-nest syndrome with our son heading back to college and I do understand her desire.

I actually understand it more and am more sympathetic to it than I was when I felt like she was somewhat obligated to feel that she needed to go with Ray to the wedding whether she was personally ready for it or not. Granted, when she did go, I think circumstances had changed and she'd grown a bit but I know I felt a degree of ambivalence and uncertainty at the beginning. Now actually hearing her tell me that she wants to go get fucked for a few days is in many ways easier for me to accept. I know it sounds crazy but taking all that into account seems to make sense in my head.


I guess I may have understated these parts of her past. Even writing my last entry I can recall many of those feelings from back in those days and I think what struck me and what attracted me to Suzanna in the first place was her sexuality. We were all in our 20's and, as I said, one-night-stands or even one-afternoon-stands weren't uncommon. In the year or two between when we first met and when we turned serious, I'd probably had sex with 3 or 4 other girls at work and maybe one or two outside of work. As part of the Monday morning guy talk, I'd heard several times how ‘I nailed Suzanna over the weekend’ and other guys would then say how good she was. They all high-five'd me when I reported my success with her that first time.

Back then, there weren't any issues (at least not in my circles) that I was dating and was then serious with a girl who'd been with other guys at work or elsewhere. Even now, Suzanna's sister is married to a guy whose friends she'd slept with before they got serious with each other. Thinking back to ‘pre-Suzanna’, in the brief time I was married, my ex-wife had a cousin who eventually married a guy who we'd all known that she'd slept with his 2 brothers before marrying him!

What struck me back then was that Suzanna did all this because she wanted it, not because of what her guy or boy-friend wanted. Knowing she now wants to do and feel this again for herself is just incredibly arousing to me!


Last night followed our now familiar and very comfortable pattern. As I've said, I am finding I look forward to it now and I did hold off masturbating despite the desire. As stated, I find myself getting more and more aroused (obviously) when I refrain from masturbating but I also admit that not doing so with the goal of waiting to do it with Suzanna is very much a turn-on. Trying to fall asleep with a hard-on can be difficult at times but at the same time telling myself to let the desire build up so I can do it with Suzanna seems to more than offset it.

She giggled at first when I slid off my boxers and my cock was fully hard and throbbing along with each heartbeat. She smiled at me and said she loved seeing me so hard. I started to stroke and she reached over and wiped off the first drops of pre-cum that appeared. I thought she'd wipe it on my lips or have me lick it off but instead, she wanted it for herself saying, "Mmm, that is so sweet tasting". I stroked a little more and drew out more pre-cum; this time she shared it with me and she let out this little moan as I sucked at her finger.

I'd been noticing for the past few days that she'd been wearing these very clingy night-shirts to bed and her nipples were again visible as she lay next to me. As she moved her hand up to my mouth it pulled the shirt up and revealed her panties. It turned me on to be lying there essentially naked while she lay next to me virtually fully dressed.

She started to tell me again how she liked watching me masturbate; again telling me how she liked seeing me cum. I was into it and played along with her and told her that it turned me on to let her watch. She cooed that she loved how I was so okay with this. I seized the moment and letting my arousal push me into it thought that I should be more open with Suzanna so I said something like, "yeah, it turns me on that I'm not cumming in you and you want to wait". That brought out a moan from her that was so incredibly sexual that it turned me on to no end. She cooed back, "it turns me on when I think about it too" and I swear she was squirming around on the bed trying to resist the urge to reach into her panties herself!

I told her I was pretty horny and that I'd been thinking about our talk from over the weekend. She moved closer to me, close enough that I could feel her body heat, and she whispered in my ear, "thanks for being okay with it all". I moaned back that it turned me on to think of her away with him and added, “... now that I know it's something you want". She almost giggled then said that it took her a while to realize that she wanted it and that hearing what I'd said only made her feel more comfortable. She leaned and whispered into my ear, "it turns me on to think about it" and then she said something that I didn't hear the start of but ended with, ".... getting fucked.”

I was getting close now. I was horny to start with and it felt good to let my mind go with the flow. I said something about, "this is what I'll be doing while you're away" and I again said how it turned me on that I wasn't cumming in her.

She said, "You know you can't cum in Ray’s pussy till Friday". She deliberately said it as a tease but, wow, she knew it turned me on too and damn it did and for the first time since we started this, she kept up that line of teasing. She told me how hot it was that I would cum all over myself and she started to say that it was hot that I wasn't cumming in her pussy. She said she'd missed the feeling of it in her but that seeing me cum and knowing it wasn't in her was turning her on. She whispered that, "it turns me on when you aren't horny afterwards because you jerked off so much" and she whispered, "It makes me know you want me to be with Ray".

Well, if I didn’t have enough in my head already (I mean my brain had all sorts of visions and thoughts such as her with legs spread underneath him amongst others) but hearing her sounding almost happy, damn, it just set me off. I don't think she was expecting me to cum so quickly because she let out a squeal at first but as I kept stroking, even after I'd finished cumming, she moaned and rubbed her body up against mine. As I started to come down from my high I realized just how turned on she was next to me!

I knew what was coming next and I even sat up a bit to watch her. There was a lot of cum (for me!) and she giggled a little as she collected it together and smiled when I made no resistance at all to licking it off her fingers. I know she's gotten so used to this now from over the years that it's not a big deal that I don't mind my own cum but it still seems to have a reaction in her; her breathing gets more rapid and I can just tell she's horny as she scrapes together the last of it for me to lick off.

She held me tight when she was done and I know she could taste it on my mouth as she kissed me and told me she loved me.


After she'd cleaned me off and we'd relaxed a bit she started to talk to me. It wasn’t some big serious conversation; the TV is on and we're both kind of lying there in bed sort of looking up at the ceiling being all mellow and she just start to talk. I would reply but it's not some big serious discussion at least not in general, but, well...

Anyway she started by saying that she hasn't felt this good about things in a long time. I think she's relaxing again a bit with her *** doing a little better now and making progress so that's helping but I knew she was also referring to sex. I told her that she sure seemed bubbly lately and she rolled over and kissed me and said something like, "why not? I have the best of both worlds".

I asked her more and she said that all of what we've done plus her ***'s illness has really reinforced with her that you have to live each day for its most and to not put things off that you want. I laughed and said that, "I know what you want!”

She giggled and she said, "it's not just the sex silly".

I punched her playfully and joked, "Oh, so it's Ray you want?"

She punched me back and said, "Noooo, you know that's not it" and proceeded to open up a bit.

She is very reluctant to really share how she was when we first met. Even though she knows I am turned on by her promiscuity, she's still reluctant to truly say that she liked being a little slutty back then. Sometimes I can get her to accept it and last night was one of them; it also may finally be where she is able to accept it. I've long thought she'd suppressed these thoughts (even though I knew they were there) because they ‘weren't what a married woman should think/want’ but, as I've also said many times, I've taken her away in the past (and now in the past few years others too) have brought this out in her.

I think, perhaps, that's also what turns me on so much about all of this, it's that I know whether by me, or others, that this side of her is coming back out. Now I see her accepting it as something she perhaps missed or wants to re-experience. All I can say is that seeing her sexually alive is just by itself something that turns me on. I guess if you love someone, you get off on seeing them happy. I can see it at other times with her even in something as simple as finishing an exercise routine, it's that satisfaction in their eyes that is arousing. I know she feels the same, many a time we've met up at the end of a ski-run where I've taken a tougher trail and she's perhaps coasted on an easier one and I can sense the happiness in her at my accomplishment. Is this really any different?

So she started to talk and tease me about her newfound desires and her acceptance of them. She reached under the blankets and started stroking my cock as she started to tell me that she is surprised at how horny she is lately and how at times she joked that, "my pussy almost itches" and it reminded her of when she had that feeling. I was rock hard hearing her open up like that. I put my hand over hers and stroked together for a moment and then moved hers on top of mine and I let her feel me really start. I could barely hear her over the TV but I said something like, "I remember you used to tell me that" and she moaned a little as I told her how it used to make me so horny.

She slid the covers back and moved down to where it was more like she was talking to my cock with her facing away from me. She watched me stroking and she said that she, "liked guys’ cocks" and that she thought it was really erotic when a guy cums. She turned her head to look at me and said, "I like watching you cum" and then in a much more quieter voice said something that she'd remembered from earlier, she said, "I like that it's not in me tonight". She leaned up and kissed me before turning back to my cock and saying, "Now come on, let me see it".

I didn't and still don't know if she said that just to make me happy or if she's truly feeling some sort of arousal now watching me jerk off and cum but I didn't ask and I don't really care, at that moment it felt awesome just to get into it. She groaned at what must have been pre-cum dripping out as I started to stroke it more firmly and longer, from the bottom to the tip and then I felt her tongue dart out. I didn't know what it was at the time but after the second or third time I recognized it. She moaned after each time and then turned back to me and said, "You taste good" and then she lay back next to me and went back to watching me intently.

Another few minutes went by and the only sounds were the TV in the background, both of our breathing and the sound of my hand moving. She watched for a bit and then I guess she wanted to speed things up. I would have gotten off in a few more minutes as it was but she moved up and said in this sexy voice, "you know I can't wait to feel Ray tomorrow".

I was getting closer now, damn, it was hot hearing her. A moment later she then said in this same sexy voice, "mmm, he cums so much that first time ... more than you....”

That was it, a second or two later I grunted and I felt myself contract and heard her utter this sexy moan as I started to cum. There's never as much the second time but it didn't matter, if anything, it felt even better than the first time! With the second and third spurts I heard the unmistakable sound of her moan that sounded like she'd cum herself just from watching me. A moment later when I'd finished, she caught her breath and sat up with this beautiful look on her face.

Just as she is comfortable lying openly after sex, it's become that easy for me too. I lay there with my shrinking cock lying on my thigh and five or so streaks of cum all over my chest with a big pool of it where it's run down and off my hand. I let her watch as I reached down between my legs and drew out that last bit of cum. She moaned as I did that and she reached out and caught it on her finger where she played for it between her fingers for a second and then turning to look at me she put her fingers towards me. I took her hand in mine and sucked her fingers into my mouth. She let out the sexiest moan I think I've ever heard as I sucked at her fingers. I moved up on my elbows and watched her. She looked at me and said, "What?" as a playful question.

I smiled and said, "You are so sexy". With that she began collecting my cum from my chest and let me lick it from her fingers. When there was none left she leaned down and kissed me.


Last night in bed after the second time she'd kind of settled down and I think she'd been following the pattern from last week where I'd only jerked off twice. As she lay there she could feel motion on my side of the bed and she rolled over and joked that after the first two she wasn't sure I would even want any more attention!

I looked at her and was honest and I said, "I was kind of horny last week on Thursday and didn't want to tell you ... " at first she started apologizing for teasing me and "tormenting me" with her wet pussy but then she stopped and said "oh, you mean because you only did it twice?" and a second later she had sat up and said "well then, let’s fix that for you". She saw me stroking and that I was getting harder slowly and she said "I'll help you" and she took my hand off and she started to suck my cock. Wow did that get me hard!!! She looked up at me and said "I'll suck you but I want to watch you finish, okay?" I moaned a yes to her and she went at it.

It really wasn't going to take long - it'd been a while since she'd wanted me with such ferocity but she was squeezing my balls and really sucking the length of me until I was fully hard. When I was, she sucked her mouth off of it and she told me "now you do it" and as I started she seemed to want to make this quick (I guess, she was ready for bed so not totally surprised). She started teasing me this time and was pretty explicit. I know it was for my benefit so I just got into it. The words fuck, cum and pussy were repeated in so many different ways. But, when she said how she liked it when Ray went for 3rds - and then added "unlike you, he cums in my pussy". Man, that did it - I won't say it hurt to go that 3rd time (although my cock did ache afterwards) but afterwards it felt like someone had run my prostate through a wringer. Even now sitting here typing, my cock is barely hard and still has that bit of an ache to it....


It’s 5pm and I know where my wife is. She was quite happy this morning when she was getting ready for work. I swear she picked out a lacy pair of panties to tease me with; I could make out her dark pubes and a definite swollen pink swath in the centre!


Suzanna just texted me and asked if I'd want to meet her in about an hour for pizza and a bottle of wine. I answered ‘sounds good’ but now I am sitting here thinking that I will know the entire time we'll be eating that she's just had sex with Ray and that I can't wait to get her home.


Suzanna appears at times to enjoy teasing the heck out of me; especially last night. We did meet for pizza and every time she'd move or squirm around in her seat my mind went to what was happening between her legs and whether she was enjoying both that sensation as well as its effect on me!

Suffice to say, it aroused the heck out of me and surely made me want to drag her home. I was pleased when we finished our meal and left the restaurant so that I could follow her home. We were both pleased that our kids were nowhere to be found.

I followed her to the bedroom where she stood and said, "you can undress me if you want". I swear my hands were almost shaking as I helped her out of her clothes. Seeing her breasts and knowing her swollen nipples had been in his mouth, oh man, all it did was making me wonder what else? They were reddened in patches where it was obvious Ray’s hands had been fondling them..

I slid her pants off first and looked at her in just her panties as I've seen her all week but this time I knew there was more I was going to be ‘allowed’ to see. I knelt in front of her and began to pull them down. The first thing I noticed was the smell of sex, it was intoxicating and I felt like I was in sort of a trance pulling them off her. Her pubes were pushed back and her pussy lips were reddened and swollen just as her nipples were. There was wetness the whole length where they met and down towards the bottom they separated leaving just enough gap to get me wickedly turned on so much that my cock was soon painfully hard! I stared and looked at the glistening wetness between the lips and still in my trance I felt her put her hand gently on the back of my head and guided me to start to lick her.

She lay back at the edge of the bed and raised her knees, her pussy spread and all I could think about was Ray’s cock being in her with the thick root end holding her open and apart as they lay together. I licked at it and she shuddered for a second as I swept up over and past her clit and her hand again went to the back of my head to guide me back down where she wanted me. As I started licking, she must have relaxed because the wet flow increased and there was no mistaking that Ray had fucked her at least twice.

To me, once I know it's his cum in her, it just turns me on and gets me going like nothing else. I just have to think about him being buried in her as she cums and that drives him to plunge into her and then nature takes over as he leaves his semen deep in her. I often think about the moment of both of their orgasms as I'm licking at her and bringing her to another. It never ceases to amaze me that he's brought her to and felt her cum at her most vulnerable moment; the same for him, knowing when he did cum that it wasn't a conscious decision but the instinctive reaction of his cock buried in her. Licking away at her and tasting his cum in her thrilled me like nothing else!

She started to talk to me as I was licking her and it was almost a surreal moment when she chose to confirm that the builders’ exhibition-thing Ray wants to take her to is in Charlotte! As I continued to lap away she said, "Ray is paying for everything; hotel, meals and airfare". She didn't say it was going to be romantic or anything but she did say several times that she thought it was going to be fun and she also said I should think of it just like the first time I'd encouraged her up in Boston on her business trip. I redoubled my efforts and was rewarded when she stopped talking and began moaning as the effect of my tongue on her pussy took her interest.


After I'd finished bringing her to quite a nice orgasm (as she called it) we did talk for a while afterwards about what we're going to tell our ********. I was concerned about it but Suzanna, pragmatic as ever, simply said, "We’ll just tell her mom is going away to a computer-training class". She’s so right; our ******** won't know Charlotte from Los Angeles so there will be little reason to discuss it with her beyond that.

I still harboured some reservations and trepidation about it all but Suzanna hugged and kissed me and simply said, "Don’t worry. There’s nothing to worry about; there's no one else for me but you". I really didn't need to hear more.


The thought of what was going to happen took my mind back to where this all started, her one-night-stand in Boston that started us on our journey. For sure, this time it is different but I also can see her reasoning that the time in Boston meant nothing. She hasn't said it but obviously all those times long ago going away with other guys also meant nothing to her which is, I think/hope, is how she is now reasoning.

The thought of them being together as a couple has already begun to give me angst even though it is a month before it's going to happen; I am already beginning to have some misgivings. However, at the same time there's a look in her eyes when she talks about it and her references that ‘she's’ going to have a good time and not that ’we're’ going to have a good time that gives me a feeling of comfort. I must hang on to that thought.

Despite the angst, I have many of the same feelings as when she went to the wedding. If I can push the uncomfortable emotions aside, the feelings that are left are very arousing to me. I get a lump of excitement welling up inside when I think of the two of them living together and sharing everything.

Even this morning as I lay in bed and watched her get up and get ready, just the idea that she'll share all of this again with Ray is such a turn-on. I've jerked off so many times to that picture of them in the shower together that it is something I want for her/them to experience again.

I find it difficult to put into words; I don't want to feel like she's falling in love with him or anything like that but knowing he'll be sharing all of her for 4 days or so without me and her giving all her attention to him is incredibly arousing.

I clearly haven't forgotten the wedding for another reason; he fucked her 7 times in 3 days. The thought that she’ll be away for longer and that Ray could fuck her 10 or more times is mind-boggling to me. Even crazier is that I am already looking forward intensely to when she'll come back and I'll get to feel and have her again knowing what she'll have been doing and having her tell me all about it.

I am sure as the time gets closer that I'll again have misgivings but I do feel I'm in a better place with her. Even typing all of this, despite the angst and awkward feelings that have already started I am so horny for her later tonight.


We are going away with the kids this weekend for a few days into next week. It’s going to be a last hurrah for summer so our vacation actually begins tonight. Unfortunately, as we'll be with the kids and other ****** Suzanna's slutty side will have to be left at home tucked away until we get back home!

Also as there will be no opportunities for me to do any writing with so many people milling around I’ll take this as a good point to close this book and wait until we return next week to start another.