I got home just in time to watch the six thirty local news. I wanted to know what I was letting myself in for. I watched for the whole half hour, but didn't learn a lot, there was only one interview and that was with an innocent victim recorded on the Court steps having won her case.
I thought of phoning Molly about the boys, but I wasn't sure what to say, or what I would do if Peter answered. I knew I was letting my imagination get the better of me, and I felt guilty that I wasn't getting on with it for the boys' sake.
I poured myself a stiff whisky, but hardly took a sip before I picked up the phone. I had to look up their number in my diary, but I dialled it.
It rang and rang. Then an answerphone switched in, and I put my phone down. This was not the time to leave messages on answering machines. Instead I finished my whisky, and changed into some easier clothes and went out to find myself something to eat. By the time I got back I decided it was too late to make important phone calls, disturbing Molly's evening, but I knew that I was really just making excuses for myself.
As I walked in the next morning Carole greeted me with "Well, did you phone her?"
I felt guilty, "You know, yesterday I thought we were on track for a really good relationship. I'm beginning to revise my thinking...." And I smiled, I guess somewhat sheepishly.
"Well, do it today. For Jamie and Ben's sake."
I admired Carole's memory and sentiment. Their names were mentioned in passing yesterday, and they were real people to her today.
She handed me a sheaf of messages, and a couple of files. "Some things to do, and some things to read."
"Gee, thanks. I've got the BBC sometime this morning. I'll go down to PR and get myself briefed. By the way, I really ought to go down to Franks Engineering in Exeter, Stephen .... Stephen ...." I searched my memory for the General Manager's name.
"Stephen Hobbs." Carole reminded me. "When do you want to go?"
"The first free day I've got I guess, there's no reason why not. I suggest I come in here first thing, then go down there mid-morning and spend the rest of the day with them."
She looked in the diary, "You're talking about Monday. I'll give Stephen a call. But I warn you, Piers McBaine won't like it."
"What's it got to do with him?"
"You visiting Exeter before you visit the Abbey. I told you, he's a bit prickly about their status."
"Well, it's his hard luck. He could have picked Monday in my diary if he'd wanted. I don't do preferential treatment, or not yet anyway."
"He didn't want Monday because he knows that Peter Davies will be out of the office on Wednesday."
"Good for Peter Davies." I answered, and went off to PR No one controls my diary except me, and certainly not Peter Fucking Davies!
The rest of the day went quite well. After my interview, which they thought would be used that night, I went to lunch in the Cafeteria with a bunch from PR and Marketing. They were a talkative lot, and I began to really understand what I already suspected, that Henri Bauer ran a very stratified culture. He seemed to never, not even on Company social occasions, let alone in the normal course of work, have anything to do with junior staff. Whether that was just the way he worked, or whether he felt that he was superior in some way, I didn't know, but it needed putting right. I asked Carole to try and work out how I could take a random set of junior staff to lunch in the Buffet Dining Room once every couple of weeks.
I got home just in time to watch the local evening news. I wish I hadn't. Seeing oneself on television is embarrassing, even when there's no one else in the room. Afterwards, I took a shower just to relax myself. Then I realised I was likely to be late for Keith at the Golf Club. I was about to excuse myself from phoning Molly on the grounds that it would make me late, when I thought what Carole would say in the morning. I dialled the number.
Thank Goodness, it was her and not him that answered.
"Hello Molly, it's me, Chris."
I could feel a wave of coolness or at least hesitations come down the line. "I knew you were back in town. I was waiting for you to phone. But you could have done it before the boys saw you on the telly. They've just learnt that their father is back in Bristol from the television."
"Oh God! I'm sorry. Are they upset?"
Her voice became warmer, "No, they're thrilled. Their *** was on the telly. I think they only saw the last couple of minutes, I guess one of them was flicking through the channels, probably looking for cartoons, and they caught you."
"I'd like to see you, to arrange that I can start seeing them on a regular basis."
"Well, I'm not going to try and stop you. When do you want to make it?"
"Well I'm running late now, but I want to talk to you about me seeing them quite often and quite regularly. Please."
"Chris, I've already said I won't stop you."
"Thank you. But I do think we ought to co-ordinate things. Would you like me to buy you dinner tomorrow night, if you're allowed out by yourself?"
"He's my husband."
"I'm well aware of that. But our children are ours, not his. Let's not argue. How about tomorrow evening?"
"OK. Where will you be? I'll come over after we've eaten and I've put the boys to bed. Say nine o'clock?"
"OK. My flat, or somewhere else?"
"Your flat will do."
So, I gave her my address and left it there, and set off for the Golf Club. All the way there I thought about how even talking to her made my blood boil, after four years the scars were still red raw. But I was also aware of how relieved I felt that I'd made the call, and how apprehensive I felt about tomorrow evening.
I found Keith in the bar. "Hi, Chris. What are you drinking?"
"I'm driving."
Keith looked untroubled, "So am I. But I have a rule of only one pint if I'm driving, and only two if I eat a good meal. I think that keeps me inside the law. This is a two pint night."
"I'm jealous of those people who have the discipline to keep to a strict no alcohol rule when driving." But then I smiled, "But you've convinced me, make it a pint, please."
Once we had our drinks and Keith had asked how my first three days had been, and I'd asked how his last week at Cheals was going, I looked at him, "So?"
He smiled, "Would it surprise you to know that your name got mentioned when I spoke to Anne the other night?"
"You mean you had a good gossip."
"Well what else would you expect an old married couple to talk about but other people?"
"And?" I tried moving the conversation on from sparring to something that might be vague progress.
Suddenly Keith went serious, "Anne told me that she met Molly by accident about three months after Daniel died. I guess she told me at the time, but I think things went in one ear and out the other at that time."
"That would be about the time she got remarried."
"Yes, Anne thought she was just back from honeymoon. Anne had just started work, and she'd been sent to the hospital for some reason, and she bumped into Molly in a corridor. They went for a coffee together."
I'd just took a long draught of my beer, and as I put it down, "I repeat, and?"
"Well first, Anne remembers that she was surprised at the time at how quiet Molly was. She was always a bouncy person, but she was quiet. Anne used the word 'dull' which for a girl just back from honeymoon was odd."
"There could be hundred and one explanations. She was tired; starting new married life, a new relationship, wouldn't necessarily be easy; or she was going down with a cold. In the light of the fact that they are now approaching their fourth wedding anniversary, I can't see anything significant in that."
"No. Well, I thought I'd mention it. But the more important thing that Anne remembers is that Molly was insistent, quite determined on this point, that you did nothing wrong. You did not let her down in anyway. I know you worry about it, so I thought it was important to let you know."
"That's very kind of you, and I guess it was sweet of Molly. But it's illogical, relationships don't fall apart that suddenly and that disastrously without there being some fault on both sides. I can't believe that I didn't miss something. But I guess Molly was trying to be kind, she knew you and I were friends. I guess she didn't want you to think badly of me. Molly was always kind and thoughtful to other people, she would always want people to think the best of others."
"Well, I can only tell you what Anne told me...." Keith drank some of his pint. "Oh, and the only other thing Anne remembers is that Molly said that she wasn't going to make the mistake she made in her first marriage in the new one. She was determined that this one was forever, she'd committed herself to it, and she would see it through."
"Isn't that the way marriage is meant to be? I thought it was. But, I guess it's good to hear that she's going to stick to this one. Everything tells me that they do love each other a lot."
"Well drink up, and let's go and find those steaks." He said, finishing his own pint.
We made small talk until the steaks and our second pints were delivered, when Keith asked, "So how are you finding W R Franks?"
"ITI-Franks if you please. But it's interesting, fun in parts. Some nice people. But the bit that's the most fun..... Who do you think is Deputy Head of Research?"
"I haven't the faintest .... " Keith looked up and saw my smiling, maybe smirking, face. Suddenly he smiled, "He isn't ... is he? Oh, how interesting."
"It was a complete surprise. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I honestly don't think I want to do business with him, but I can't sack him."
"Well don't do anything stupid. Maybe he's a nice guy. I guess he is really, I can't imagine Molly marrying someone who wasn't. Maybe you can build a decent relationship, you have got something in common after all."
"I'll go along with your advice that I shouldn't do anything stupid. And I won't. But I don't think we can be friends. I know him to be an immoral little shit, the sort of man who chats up married women, he had no conscience about breaking up other peoples' marriages, about making children live in broken homes. I'd rather not have that sort of guy as a friend."
"Does he realise that you are who you are."
"Yes, it was him going to his boss that brought it to light."
"So, if he's worried then he must have a guilty conscience."
I thought about that, "Possibly. Equally he may just think that I'm bearing a grudge, which I am. I might think I've good reason, but he may not, but he might still recognise the possibility."
Keith smiled, "Can't you just have him done over whilst you're sitting in a Board Meeting, with the perfect alibi? Some good, honest violence. Healthy and to the point."
I laughed, "I should have done that four years ago. Surely, waiting four years should at least lend a certain sophistication to the act."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I guess I'll play it by ear. But I might like to have some fun, and make him suffer a little bit. Make him question his behaviour, as I play it by ear."
"Well, as I said, don't risk your career on a bit of silly revenge. That's beneath you, you're better than that."
After that we changed subject and chatted about Keith and Anne's new life in San Diego. As neither of us could drink, and Keith had plenty to do at home, once we'd finished our meal, we headed to our homes. But I did remind him that I would like to take him and Anne to dinner one evening next week.
Thursday in the office went well, but nothing surprising. The new sign went up on the building, ITI-Franks Ltd, beside a big ITI logo. Of course first thing Carole asked was "Did you phone her?" and when I said "Yes", she just smiled and said "Good."
I went shopping on my way home, I thought I ought to have a full range of drinks and juice, and some nibbles. I got some nice olives, personally I can't stand olives but I know Molly loves them. This meeting was making me nervous, I wasn't quite sure what was expected. Molly used to drink white wine in the evening, but she may have changed her tastes in drink like she did in her men.
When I got in I had a microwaved lasagne, which was all it promised to be - average! Then I went to have a shower and change - into my most elegant, expensive, casual clothes. I checked that there was plenty of ice, I put some olives and some peanuts out on the coffee table, and I looked at my watch, it was still only eight o'clock.
I tried reading some business papers. For a while I didn't do badly, my business discipline and love of my job switched in. But by quarter to nine my nerves switched back in. I couldn't sit still and I paced the room. I found myself watching the occasional car as it cruised pass, waiting to see if this was her. There were a couple of vacant parking spaces on the opposite side of the road from my flat. I was watching the roof of a silver VW Golf as it parked opposite, what made me take more interest was that no one got out. And then the driver's door opened, and it was Molly. I gulped, here we go then!
I waited until she pressed the buzzer on the entry phone. "Hello, Chris, it's Molly."
"Come on up." And I pressed the release button. I went and waited by my open front door, watching the lift. And then it was there and the doors were opening. For the first time in nearly four years I met my ex-wife.
I smiled, totally naturally, I could never help myself from smiling when I saw Molly. "Hi! Come on in. Let me take your coat."
She smiled and walked passed me into my lobby. I stood behind her and she shrugged off her coat. She turned and offered her cheek for a kiss. I looked at her face, she looked older and something else was missing from her eyes, I wasn't sure what. I kissed her cheek, and smelled her perfume. It was a smell that instantly took me back to a different, happier time. I knew it was a perfume that she wore because I loved it, but I could no longer remember what it was, the memory plays funny tricks.
"Do go in." I hung her coat on one of a set of wall hooks. "Would you like a drink?"
"Yes, please. A glass of white wine, if you have it?"
"I guessed that's what you would want. I'll join you. Do go in and sit down, I'll get us the drinks."
By the time I had poured the drinks and joined her in the living room, she was sitting on the sofa and looking around. I put her drink on the table in front of her.
She smiled as she watched me, "Your looking good, Chris, very tanned and fit."
"That's what a couple of weeks in South Africa does for you in January. I can recommend it."
"Just sunbathing?"
"Mainly, but some good food and wine, and a few days in a game park."
"Lucky you."
"Well, we get four weeks off between assignments to sort ourselves out, to move and get organised. Well I was coming back to London, but not necessarily permanently, so I just found a furnished flat in Fulham, and then I could spend three weeks on holiday, two of them in South Africa."
"With Ellen?" She was casual and she smiled, but there was an edge to her voice.
How dare she? She's hardly through the door and she's asking me about my private life.
"Her name is Helene, and Yes, with her." I answered, I hoped curtly enough to close this bit of the conversation.
But she pressed on, "Has she come over with you?"
"She's in Apeldoorn at the moment." I answer with the minimal information.
"The boys said she is very beautiful, and they liked her a lot when you took them to Euro-Disney."
I smiled, "She is very beautiful, or I think so. But I suspect the boys affection was probably more motivated by someone taking them to Euro-Disney."
She smiled, at least with her mouth, but she seemed to get the message on a closed subject.
There was a pause, then she looked around the room, "This is very smart. Is it yours?"
"No. It's rented for me by the Company. It was this or a hotel. I chose this."
"So you're not here for long then?"
"Oh yes I am. My guess would be for five years, assuming nothing else comes up. I did two years at Jamesons, nearly two years in International Consultancy, and that was only cut short because I created merry hell, and wanted to get out. Then two years over in Holland. And normally, when you've worked your apprenticeship like that, they start lengthening your stay. My guess is that I've got about five years. But who knows, things change." I smiled half-heartedly.
"You know Peter works for Franks?"
"Yes, his boss came to see me about it."
"Piers McBaine? Piers and Jeanette are good friends to Peter and myself. Mainly it's Piers and Peter, but I have a very good relationship with Jeanette as well."
I nodded, I wasn't surprised.
She went on: "Peter is very worried about you being there....."
"Why?"
"He's scared that you might make life difficult for him. He is good, Piers thinks the world of him, and his work is very important. And there's nowhere else that he could really go and do it...." She looked at me pleadingly.
"I've already told Dr McBaine that he will have the full support of the ITI personnel policy. We are an equal opportunity employer, whatever your race, colour, creed, sexual orientation.... It even covers wife stealers." I smiled.
She rose to the bait, "You shouldn't think of him that way. He's a very nice person. And he's good at his job. And he loves me very much." She looked up into my eyes, I felt she was looking for something, I wondered what.
"Well, whatever..... Let's not argue."
There was a pause, a long pause, when we both sipped our wine. Then the olives caught her eye, she took one, "That was kind," she paused, and her voice was almost breaking when she added, "You were always so thoughtful....."
I determinedly changed the subject to the purpose of the meeting, "I was hoping to see the boys at the weekend."
"Of course, they'll be with Ralph and Susan." I remembered that Molly always called her parents by their Christian names, they had told her to do it on her twenty first birthday, when we got engaged, and they said she was now her own woman now and should talk to them as adults.
"You going away?"
"No," she paused to choose her words, "Maybe you can help with this: the boys, both of them, sort of gang up on Peter. They know exactly which buttons to press to put him into a terrible rage of frustration, because he has no defence against them. He usually ends up going out for a run to get over it and to put a pause on things. I've tried so hard to stop them doing it, but they just see it as sport. And, of course, he rises to it every time. He knows they're doing it, but he can't ride it and ignore it. So to keep the peace, the boys tend to stay with Ralph and Susan at the weekends. It's just a phase they're going through, so it's just until they grow out of it. They are very happy there, it's not like sending them away as a punishment or that I'm rejecting them. I'm just stuck in the middle of a war. Perhaps you will be able to influence them. Please, Chris, it isn't good for them either."
I was concerned, "It doesn't sound the loving stable ****** we always promised them."
She instantly became upset, tears were obviously imminent, "I'm doing my best! He tries so hard, but the boys make it impossible. It isn't easy for him, he loves me so much, but they're not his...." She sipped her wine to calm herself.
I thought for a moment, "Well, I guess it leads me to why I asked to meet. I don't know how the boys will take to me wanting to be back in their lives on a regular basis. I doubt whether I've got the sort of relationship with them at the moment where I can influence their attitude to their step-father. I certainly don't deserve to be that well thought of."
She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, and then she looked at me, "I know it's been difficult for you. You were so hurt by what happened, and your job...... but I've tried to make sure they think about you a lot."
"Well, thanks for that. I really would like to be part of their lives. I'd like to see them every weekend, unless I have to go away, of course. And I'll take them on holiday again, two weeks somewhere, I don't know where yet."
She smiled, "They love their holidays with you!" She almost sounded wistful before she remembered herself, "So when do you want them, and what are you going to do?"
"I haven't really thought about what to do. I thought I might bring them back here for a bit, to see where their *** was actually living. But beyond that, I don't know. But I thought of Sunday, I'll pick them up at about ten say, and bring them back around six. How does that sound?"
"A long time for all of you for the first time. If I were you, I'd volunteer for less." She smiled.
"Yes, perhaps you're right. How about I collect them at about eleven, bring them back here to let them see the place. Then I'll take them out to lunch, and bring them back to Ralph and Susan's mid-afternoon?"
"That sounds more manageable."
"Do you think there's going to be a problem with them? If my seeing them upsets them in any way, then I'll drop out. My feelings aren't important compared to what's good for them."
Suddenly, again tears were imminent, "No, don't say that! I never wanted to separate you and them. They need their father. Please, what I did caused enough damage to our ******, don't make it worse."
I just sipped my wine. I didn't know what to say, and I suspected that if I opened my mouth, my emotions would fall out.
Eventually, she spoke, "I just want to say ......" Her voice was thick with emotion, and I could guess what was coming.
"Don't, Molly. Just don't let's go there. We are where we are. There's no point in having regrets about the way things fell out."
I paused and looked at her, I just couldn't read what was in her eyes, I felt it was that she wanted something from me, but I had nothing to give, "I just wish that one day you'll be able to tell me what I did wrong." Then I gave her a false, bright smile, "So that I can get it right next time. You could save some other poor girl a lot of heartache."
Her voice was still breaking, but she smiled, "She'll be very lucky..... so very lucky." She took her handkerchief and blew her nose. Then she smiled again, and looked brighter.
I smiled at her, reassuringly, "That's better. We'll get used to it. We should try to be friends for the boys' sake."
She smiled weakly, but seemed to relax, as if something was resolved in her mind, "Yes, let's work on getting the boys their father back. That's what's important now." She sipped her wine, but was watching me.
I sipped my wine and watched her as she watched me. I noticed she was wearing a very attractive gold necklace. I guess he had given her that. Molly was the sort of girl that men buy jewellery for. But I noticed she still wasn't wearing earrings, like me he hadn't convinced her to get her ears pierced. I'd wanted her to, so that I could buy her some good earrings, but Molly has a classic needle phobia, and no way was she going to volunteer for someone to stick things through her flesh.
She was the first to speak, "You seem less stressed by your work than you were at Jamesons. I know you were very stressed then."
I smiled, "Well, I've hardly started at Franks. I haven't been there long enough to know what to be stressed about. But you're right, I've changed my management style, and it's a lot easier on everyone." Then a thought struck me. "Was that it, that I forgot you with my troubles with Jamesons? I did try to keep things in proportion."
"Oh! No, it wasn't you at Jamesons. No, it was my fault, all my fault." Again tears looked imminent, she sniffed hard and stared at me.
I looked at her hopefully, I just needed her to explain. But she just said, "I best be going."
"Yes, you must get back to your husband. He'll be worried about you." And I went to get her coat.
I held it for her, and then opened the front door. She pressed herself against me, maybe I little harder than was necessary for me to peck the proffered cheek. But maybe that was my imagination. I got a full whiff of that damned perfume.
I shut the door behind her, and a wave of emotion hit me. Remnants of the hurt and anger of four years ago. Remembrance of what we used to have, what we lost. I poured myself another glass of wine, muttering "John, 11:35" under my breath, and strolled to the window.
For a moment I thought about Helene. I had really loved her, and I had been tempted to marry her before I realised what a lousy husband I would make. But, even with a love that came so close, it was nothing compared to the emotion that Molly could stir up in me. Helene didn't know what a lucky escape she had.
As I looked out of the window I saw her getting into her car. But she didn't pull away. I just watched. It just sat there, she didn't even put the lights on. I wonder if she had an electrical fault, I wondered if I should go down. But maybe she's just phoning home, checking in with him. He would be worried about his wife off to see the father of her children, her first husband. Yes that must be it. If it was that then it was a long conversation, she's been sitting there for at least ten minutes. I stood and watched, not knowing what to do. I'd look a fool if I went down and she was just on the phone. Then her lights came on. A couple of minutes later she started to move and pulled away.
As expected, the next morning Carole asked, "How was it?"
I smiled, "Mixed. Sorting out the children was the easy bit."
On the Friday evening, after work, I did go round to Keith's leaving do at the Lord Raglan. But I didn't know that many people, and I didn't know the jokes, and finally the senior partner started making overtures about the help I would need at Franks. So I bought Keith a drink and left.
So there I was, eleven o'clock on Sunday morning knocking at my ex-in-laws front door. Susan answered it. "Oh, its you!"
"Yes, Susan, are the boys ready for me?"
"Yes, they're ready." She paused and looked at me with accusing eyes, "Why have you come back? You only upset Molly and Peter, and now I hear you're his boss. You leave him alone, he loves Molly so much, and it's his job that their life depends on."
"And it's nice to see you again, Susan!" I was beginning to get very annoyed. So you're babysitting the boys, that gives you no right... but I didn't say it.
I saw Ralph doing something on the other side of the front garden. He was watching, but didn't come over. A man of few words is Ralph.
Just then Jamie came out, quickly followed by Ben. I crouched down to greet them, but they walked straight passed me, "Is that your car, ***?"
"Yes. You'll have to squeeze yourselves into the back and strap yourselves in."
"Come on Ben, ***'s got a XK. Why didn't you get the XKR, that would have been better?"
Well, there's not a lot wrong with them, I thought. Actually the day went better than I feared. They weren't over the top in being pleased to see me, but they weren't sullen or withdrawn as I'd feared. They liked the lunch, partly because I allowed them to choose off the adult menu and didn't insist on the children's menu. It wasted a lot of food, but they liked being treated like grown ups.
When I got them back to Susan and Ralph's, it was Molly who opened the door, which surprised me..
She smiled, "I thought I'd come round for when they came back, just in case."
"Well there were no problems. They've been as good as gold."
"Good. Why not come in for a cup of tea?"
With a high probability of Peter Davies being in there, no thank you! "I won't thanks, I've got some business stuff that I must read before tomorrow. The boys will tell you all about what we did."
She stepped towards me, "Ralph said that Susan was a bit rude to you when you collected the boys. I'm sorry about that. She shouldn't have."
"Well she never liked me. That was another thing I got wrong." I paused and we looked at each other. I had the distinct feeling that something was being left unsaid, but I didn't know what or how to coax it out of her, "Look, how about we do exactly the same next Sunday, after that I can up the hours a bit for the subsequent weeks, as they get used to me."
"That sounds OK. I'll tell them."
"Well I'm off then." And I turned and walked back to my car.
On Monday it seemed that I was hardly in the office before I was out again, driving down to Exeter to meet Stephen Hobbs and learn about ITI-Franks Engineering Ltd, or that's what it would be called very soon. What I found was a very friendly, very professional specialist engineering company, building prototypes for the Laboratories, and solving engineering problems on special sales. It was a good, sound little company that TDF had brought into the Group when they realised that they were the biggest customer to a company that was up for sale as the two brothers who owned it wanted to retire. It seems that they then left it as a self-contained little unit, an hour down the road in Exeter rather than merging it fully into the Bristol operation. I also found out that it was a lot bigger and employed far more staff than I imagined. And it had a lot of underused capacity. But, I liked Stephen Hobbs and his colleagues, and they made me feel welcome. I left with some questions in my mind, but no great concerns.
Now, on Tuesday I arrived at my office to find a very attractive girl sitting on the couch in Carole's office, obviously waiting for me. I looked questioningly at Carole.
"I've left all your messages on your desk, and the first five summaries of Mr Bauer's Committees. I don't think you've met Miss Hepsted, who's waiting for you."
I turned, and Myra Hepsted stood up and shook my hand. She was blonde with intelligent grey-green eyes. About 5'8" with 36B's, and I would guess a bit under thirty years old. Overall, a very attractive package.
"Welcome, Myra, I'm Chris, Chris Bennett. I'm so glad you're here. You've got so much to do, and so little time to do it in. Come on in." I turned to Carole, "Coffee, please."
I guided her to a sofa, and I sat in a rather comfortable chair. I had a nice view of her legs, crossed at the ankles and tucked into the sofa. "I guess you know why you're here?"
"To be the hated one that's going to change all the accounting procedures?"
I smiled, "Only to start. Once Accounts really hate you, I will want you to move on, so that a couple of other areas get a chance to hate you as well."
Now she smiled, and a very nice smile it was, "Anyone in particular?"
"The three I've spotted to date are," I started ticking them off against my fingers, "Exeter: It seems a nice self-contained unit. I'd like to know that the in-house charging structure is on commercial terms. If so, we'll have to decide, do we keep them or sell them off. Production: I want a thorough review that we are doing it effectively. Should we be in production at all, or just contracting with the Far East say, or should we be an assembly point, using sub-contract production and some of Exeter's specialist abilities. And finally, the real imponderable one, the Laboratories, how much should we be spending on research, and are we getting value for money on what we do spend."
Again she smiled, and I was pleased that she was undaunted. "Well I can see I'll have my work cut out."
"In a minute I'll take you down to Accounts and introduce you, although I guess you know them all down there from the takeover?"
"Yes, and I don't think they're looking forward to me."
"Why not?"
"Most of them, including Trevor Gale the Director, have all been here for years. They spent a lot of effort changing to TDF's methodologies only a few years ago. Now I'm going to come along with the ITI systems and standards. Would you like it if you were them?"
"Not much. But that's life these days. But the change is necessary, and it'll keep a large part of HQ off our backs if they see us getting on with it. And it'll be nice to have some numbers we can rely on." I smiled reassuringly, "You'll be part of the Accounts Department, but you will have a direct line to me. OK?"
"Sure." She smiled, she was one confidant lady.
"I know you've still got some things to do back at HQ, The Old Man told me. How much of your time can you give us?"
"My best guess is that I'll have to be in London for about one day a week for the next month. After that I should be free. I've got a lot to do up there, but a lot of it I can get through in the evenings at home."
"You shouldn't be home in the evenings. A pretty girl like you should have a different beau for every night of the week." I smiled.
She smiled, "Well thank you kind sir, but I tried one beau and he rather put me off the whole beau idea."
"Bad time?"
"If you mean by that, did I chase a man all round the country, making a complete fool of myself, only to have confirmed what I already suspected, that he chased anything in a skirt and love and promises meant nothing to him? Well, Yes, a bad time." She really sounded bitter, but she opened her handbag and took out a tissue to wipe an eye.
"Bad luck. We're not all like that. Just some of us."
"Well, I'm off men for a long, long time." She looked purposefully at me. But I chose to interpret that as a positive sign, at least I'd registered as a possibility, which was progress.
When I got to bed on Tuesday evening I lay awake thinking about my visit to Marston Abbey tomorrow. What was I going to do with Peter Fucking Davies? I didn't move an inch on my guess that he was an immoral little shit, at least in the beginning, but I didn't want him to leave taking his good mind from the company. Worse still, he might then take my two sons off somewhere. No, not now, not when I've just got a chance to start being back in their lives. But, I did want him to feel guilty over what he had done to me, what he had done to the boys. I did want him to suffer.
For a while I thought about Myra Hepsted. She was an interesting challenge. I guessed she was in much the same place as Helena had been when I got together with her. Surely I stood a chance? This time it would only be one of us that needed nursing back to health. But, then again, we were colleagues, and affairs at work can be disastrous.
For a while, I combined my two problems. Maybe I could tempt Peter Davies into an affair with Myra. Show him up to everyone for what he was, an immoral little shit. But that would be a cruel misuse of Myra. It would also hurt Molly, I wondered what I felt about that, but I wasn't sure. Then I thought about Myra again, and decided that Davies had stolen one beautiful girl from me, I wasn't going to proffer another.
Eventually, I fell asleep with no better idea than I'd play it by ear.
When I arrived at the Laboratories I was impressed by a long sweeping gravel drive that led to a parking area in front of a huge timber framed medieval house. I asked for Dr McBaine and he came and collected me and took me to his office.
For the next hour he gave me a Power Point presentation about their work. It was actually quite good, and he presented it very professionally, I was impressed. When we got to the end I started asking questions. His presentation was very light on costs, on expectations for the market if the research was successful, or even the chances of success. What I got was a pure researchers answers about the need to understand the problem, the search for knowledge. I began to realise that I was talking to a scientific seeker of truth. My ear started playing.
After nearly an hour's worth of questions I asked my next one, "What chance of getting fed in this place?"
Piers McBaine smiled, "Well we have a Refectory here, not as varied as the one at the Factory, but still quite good. And I hear you like to meet staff and chat to them at lunch."
The fame of my lunch on the first day had obviously spread to Marston Abbey. But that didn't suit my purpose today, so I asked "Or?"
"Or we can walk over to the George in the village, it's got quite a good restaurant."
I smiled, "The exercise will do us good."
There was a footpath through the grounds that came out in the middle of the village, about fifty yards up the road from the George, which turned out to be a pleasant Victorian country pub. These researchers had an idyllic working environment, I was impressed if not envious, "How do you go back to work after lunch in summer? Just to sit in the sun or stroll the grounds must be so tempting."
"We're scientists. What's tempting is our belief that this time we do the experiment we will discover something; that this time we look down the microscope we'll see something new. We're driven by the need to know."
After that we returned to talk about the research projects until we were seated in the dining room and our lunches were served.
When it was obvious that that line of conversation had run out, I changed the subject: "I understand you chose today for my visit because your deputy is out of the office."
Piers smiled, "He was meant to be."
"You mean he came in today?"
"Yes. He's been out every Wednesday for months, today he came in."
"Did he know I was coming?"
"Yes, I told him."
"So either he wants a face to face, or he's putting a brave face on everything."
"My guess is that Molly sent him in. He is very worried about you. I told him to stay in his office unless I call for him. Will you shake his hand?"
Now that was a good question, "I once heard the definition of a gentleman was a man who would rather meet people he didn't like than dirty his hands on a bargepole. I guess you'll find out if I'm a gentleman." I smiled, "But if you see me arrive with a long pole on the roof of my car...."
Piers smiled, but then there was a pause, which he broke "Molly has been very good for Piers. That marriage has changed him."
"From what?"
He smiled as he remembered a few years back, "Peter joined us straight from getting his masters. I was Deputy in those days, and I very quickly recognised a nice bloke, and a great researcher. He never seemed to have a girlfriend, then, but after a couple of years he seemed to have a very active private life." He looked up at me, "He became a bit of a Don Juan. I dread to think how many girlfriends he had in the next few years."
"Any of them married?"
He paused and thought about that, "Yes, at least a couple. But I don't think they were in happy marriages, I think they'd separated from their husbands before Peter came on the scene. Jeanette, that's my wife, would know better. She is the religious and moral side of the ******, I'm the scientist. And she wouldn't have anything to do with a home wrecker."
"Well he certainly wrecked my home! I reckon he was predator, preying on an attractive woman who he fancied, irrespective of her marriage, her children and her loving husband."
"Maybe it was love at first sight. I'm sure they love each other now."
"So am I. But do you believe in love at first sight? I know it wasn't like that for me. Attraction, lust, sexual interest, but not love. True, lasting love comes later. Didn't it for you? Do you know anyone else that you really believe fell in love with their partner across a crowded room? I don't know of any."
Piers fell quiet and thoughtful. So I sowed a seed, "Well I guess we'll never know. He's the only one who could tell us."
It was obvious that conversation about his friend was beginning to bother him. He wanted to bring it to an end, "Well it was years ago now. And anyway, there are plenty of bachelors.... No, some married men as well, who try their luck with a pretty lady. That's life."
"And you don't think they're wrong? You don't mind that?" I questioned.
Piers smiled, and spontaneously replied, "Not unless it's my wife they're chatting up!" Then he laughed.
I put down my knife and fork and just stared at him. He knew exactly what he'd said in a moments thoughtlessness. I left the pause about thirty seconds too long, whilst he looked embarrassed and shame faced.
Eventually, I let him off the hook and changed the subject, "What's the history of the Abbey?"
"There's nothing particularly important about the house. Originally it was obviously part of the Church. After the Reformation, it was a ****** home up to the Government requisitioning it in the war. When the Government were ready to return it, the ****** didn't want it anymore, so it was sold. Walter Roach Franks himself bought it, I believe with the idea of making it his home, but his wife had other ideas. So eventually it was turned into the offices and laboratories. Of course the offices moved to the factory in Bristol when they took new premises there."
"And how old is it?"
"The earliest is one cellar that the experts think is about 1430's. But the main house is very early sixteenth century, I seem to remember that 1518 is an important date. But there's nothing special architecturally."
"And how many acres?"
"One hundred and sixty one in total. But the Abbey stands in immediate grounds of twenty eight acres. The rest is just leased to local farmers. The grounds are meant to be private, but we turn a blind eye to dog walkers and the early morning joggers."
"I envy you. Maybe I should move the offices back."
"Well it has its problems. Do you know those sixteenth century builders didn't build in one decent bit of trunking for cables. There are no false ceilings or raised floors. Technically you couldn't have a worse building for scientific laboratories."
I smiled. And suggested we headed back. I added "I'd like a bit of a tour, just to visit a couple of projects. And then, do you have a room big enough for all staff to assemble?"
"Sure, the Refectory."
"Well, perhaps at about four o'clock say, I could talk to all staff. Nothing controversial, just the standard ITI PR talk."
I enjoyed the short tour. The staff were really very welcoming and friendly, and delighted that someone was showing interest in their work. After some time, we retired back to Piers' office for a cup of tea.
At five past four I came into a crowded Refectory. The whole staff were seated in a theatre style layout, with a table and a couple of chairs at the top. I soon spotted Peter Fucking Davies, he was sitting towards the back, at the end of a row, trying to make himself inconspicuous, and ready for a quick exit.
Piers McBaine hammered the table with his glass, and brought the group to attentiveness, and then quickly introduced me. I stood, taking off my jacket and hanging it on the back of my chair, and sliding the chair under the table. Now I had a space to walk round, chatting rather than giving a speech, sometimes gesticulating with my hands, sometimes with my hands in my pockets. A couple of times I stepped backwards, behind Piers' sightline. And I checked, he remained facing forward, not watching me.
Having given them the usual corporate spiel, and told them how welcoming and professional they all were, and all the usual stuff, I paused. Then I looked up "Change is not mandatory, but then again, survival is not mandatory." I told them that change would happen, that was inevitable. There would be new projects, and some of the current projects would be backed with more funds, greater support. Research was the future for a scientific company like ours.
Then I invited questions. Someone near the front was bright enough to recognise that I had begged a question. "If you are going to expand some projects, does that mean that you might close down some?"
I put my hands in my pockets, I bowed my head in thought, and I took a step backwards to be out of Piers' sightline, "Of course it is possible we will feel that some projects are not sustainable for any of a hundred reasons. I don't foresee it..." I scanned over the audience, but my eyes then fell on Davies, and for a moment too long, I stared at him as I said, "...but I suppose it may be possible that a particular project might have to be closed." I smiled, "The future is always full of surprises."
There were a few more questions, which I answered far more positively, then they gave me a round of applause, and myself and Piers went back to his office.
He looked at me, "I think that went well."
"Thank you, I really meant it when I said that research and new products are our future. I will be looking to increase funding. But I also meant it, there may well be changes."
"Changes I can cope with, especially if they come with increased funding. I owe you thanks as well, for the other thing..."
I waited.
"I was a bit scared that you might try showing up Peter or something. I'm glad you didn't."
I smiled, "I'm glad you thought I was OK."
That evening I met Keith and Anne for a farewell dinner. I chose the best restaurant I could fine listed in the guides, and I have to say the food was exquisite. Anne wanted to go over much of the same territory as Keith had at the Golf Club. I didn't learn anything new, except that Anne put greater emphasis on how 'dull' Molly had seemed. When she reiterated it, she said "It was as if she was just full of regrets about the past rather than excitement about the future."
I again offered up some of the myriad of reasons as to why that may have been her mood on that day. "For Goodness sake, Anne. I'm not sure what you're trying to imply, but they've lasted four years together, I don't think she was regretting losing me that much. She may just have been having a bad day. I on the other hand have just had a very good day, and I am excited about the future."
I thought of phoning Molly about the boys, but I wasn't sure what to say, or what I would do if Peter answered. I knew I was letting my imagination get the better of me, and I felt guilty that I wasn't getting on with it for the boys' sake.
I poured myself a stiff whisky, but hardly took a sip before I picked up the phone. I had to look up their number in my diary, but I dialled it.
It rang and rang. Then an answerphone switched in, and I put my phone down. This was not the time to leave messages on answering machines. Instead I finished my whisky, and changed into some easier clothes and went out to find myself something to eat. By the time I got back I decided it was too late to make important phone calls, disturbing Molly's evening, but I knew that I was really just making excuses for myself.
As I walked in the next morning Carole greeted me with "Well, did you phone her?"
I felt guilty, "You know, yesterday I thought we were on track for a really good relationship. I'm beginning to revise my thinking...." And I smiled, I guess somewhat sheepishly.
"Well, do it today. For Jamie and Ben's sake."
I admired Carole's memory and sentiment. Their names were mentioned in passing yesterday, and they were real people to her today.
She handed me a sheaf of messages, and a couple of files. "Some things to do, and some things to read."
"Gee, thanks. I've got the BBC sometime this morning. I'll go down to PR and get myself briefed. By the way, I really ought to go down to Franks Engineering in Exeter, Stephen .... Stephen ...." I searched my memory for the General Manager's name.
"Stephen Hobbs." Carole reminded me. "When do you want to go?"
"The first free day I've got I guess, there's no reason why not. I suggest I come in here first thing, then go down there mid-morning and spend the rest of the day with them."
She looked in the diary, "You're talking about Monday. I'll give Stephen a call. But I warn you, Piers McBaine won't like it."
"What's it got to do with him?"
"You visiting Exeter before you visit the Abbey. I told you, he's a bit prickly about their status."
"Well, it's his hard luck. He could have picked Monday in my diary if he'd wanted. I don't do preferential treatment, or not yet anyway."
"He didn't want Monday because he knows that Peter Davies will be out of the office on Wednesday."
"Good for Peter Davies." I answered, and went off to PR No one controls my diary except me, and certainly not Peter Fucking Davies!
The rest of the day went quite well. After my interview, which they thought would be used that night, I went to lunch in the Cafeteria with a bunch from PR and Marketing. They were a talkative lot, and I began to really understand what I already suspected, that Henri Bauer ran a very stratified culture. He seemed to never, not even on Company social occasions, let alone in the normal course of work, have anything to do with junior staff. Whether that was just the way he worked, or whether he felt that he was superior in some way, I didn't know, but it needed putting right. I asked Carole to try and work out how I could take a random set of junior staff to lunch in the Buffet Dining Room once every couple of weeks.
I got home just in time to watch the local evening news. I wish I hadn't. Seeing oneself on television is embarrassing, even when there's no one else in the room. Afterwards, I took a shower just to relax myself. Then I realised I was likely to be late for Keith at the Golf Club. I was about to excuse myself from phoning Molly on the grounds that it would make me late, when I thought what Carole would say in the morning. I dialled the number.
Thank Goodness, it was her and not him that answered.
"Hello Molly, it's me, Chris."
I could feel a wave of coolness or at least hesitations come down the line. "I knew you were back in town. I was waiting for you to phone. But you could have done it before the boys saw you on the telly. They've just learnt that their father is back in Bristol from the television."
"Oh God! I'm sorry. Are they upset?"
Her voice became warmer, "No, they're thrilled. Their *** was on the telly. I think they only saw the last couple of minutes, I guess one of them was flicking through the channels, probably looking for cartoons, and they caught you."
"I'd like to see you, to arrange that I can start seeing them on a regular basis."
"Well, I'm not going to try and stop you. When do you want to make it?"
"Well I'm running late now, but I want to talk to you about me seeing them quite often and quite regularly. Please."
"Chris, I've already said I won't stop you."
"Thank you. But I do think we ought to co-ordinate things. Would you like me to buy you dinner tomorrow night, if you're allowed out by yourself?"
"He's my husband."
"I'm well aware of that. But our children are ours, not his. Let's not argue. How about tomorrow evening?"
"OK. Where will you be? I'll come over after we've eaten and I've put the boys to bed. Say nine o'clock?"
"OK. My flat, or somewhere else?"
"Your flat will do."
So, I gave her my address and left it there, and set off for the Golf Club. All the way there I thought about how even talking to her made my blood boil, after four years the scars were still red raw. But I was also aware of how relieved I felt that I'd made the call, and how apprehensive I felt about tomorrow evening.
I found Keith in the bar. "Hi, Chris. What are you drinking?"
"I'm driving."
Keith looked untroubled, "So am I. But I have a rule of only one pint if I'm driving, and only two if I eat a good meal. I think that keeps me inside the law. This is a two pint night."
"I'm jealous of those people who have the discipline to keep to a strict no alcohol rule when driving." But then I smiled, "But you've convinced me, make it a pint, please."
Once we had our drinks and Keith had asked how my first three days had been, and I'd asked how his last week at Cheals was going, I looked at him, "So?"
He smiled, "Would it surprise you to know that your name got mentioned when I spoke to Anne the other night?"
"You mean you had a good gossip."
"Well what else would you expect an old married couple to talk about but other people?"
"And?" I tried moving the conversation on from sparring to something that might be vague progress.
Suddenly Keith went serious, "Anne told me that she met Molly by accident about three months after Daniel died. I guess she told me at the time, but I think things went in one ear and out the other at that time."
"That would be about the time she got remarried."
"Yes, Anne thought she was just back from honeymoon. Anne had just started work, and she'd been sent to the hospital for some reason, and she bumped into Molly in a corridor. They went for a coffee together."
I'd just took a long draught of my beer, and as I put it down, "I repeat, and?"
"Well first, Anne remembers that she was surprised at the time at how quiet Molly was. She was always a bouncy person, but she was quiet. Anne used the word 'dull' which for a girl just back from honeymoon was odd."
"There could be hundred and one explanations. She was tired; starting new married life, a new relationship, wouldn't necessarily be easy; or she was going down with a cold. In the light of the fact that they are now approaching their fourth wedding anniversary, I can't see anything significant in that."
"No. Well, I thought I'd mention it. But the more important thing that Anne remembers is that Molly was insistent, quite determined on this point, that you did nothing wrong. You did not let her down in anyway. I know you worry about it, so I thought it was important to let you know."
"That's very kind of you, and I guess it was sweet of Molly. But it's illogical, relationships don't fall apart that suddenly and that disastrously without there being some fault on both sides. I can't believe that I didn't miss something. But I guess Molly was trying to be kind, she knew you and I were friends. I guess she didn't want you to think badly of me. Molly was always kind and thoughtful to other people, she would always want people to think the best of others."
"Well, I can only tell you what Anne told me...." Keith drank some of his pint. "Oh, and the only other thing Anne remembers is that Molly said that she wasn't going to make the mistake she made in her first marriage in the new one. She was determined that this one was forever, she'd committed herself to it, and she would see it through."
"Isn't that the way marriage is meant to be? I thought it was. But, I guess it's good to hear that she's going to stick to this one. Everything tells me that they do love each other a lot."
"Well drink up, and let's go and find those steaks." He said, finishing his own pint.
We made small talk until the steaks and our second pints were delivered, when Keith asked, "So how are you finding W R Franks?"
"ITI-Franks if you please. But it's interesting, fun in parts. Some nice people. But the bit that's the most fun..... Who do you think is Deputy Head of Research?"
"I haven't the faintest .... " Keith looked up and saw my smiling, maybe smirking, face. Suddenly he smiled, "He isn't ... is he? Oh, how interesting."
"It was a complete surprise. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I honestly don't think I want to do business with him, but I can't sack him."
"Well don't do anything stupid. Maybe he's a nice guy. I guess he is really, I can't imagine Molly marrying someone who wasn't. Maybe you can build a decent relationship, you have got something in common after all."
"I'll go along with your advice that I shouldn't do anything stupid. And I won't. But I don't think we can be friends. I know him to be an immoral little shit, the sort of man who chats up married women, he had no conscience about breaking up other peoples' marriages, about making children live in broken homes. I'd rather not have that sort of guy as a friend."
"Does he realise that you are who you are."
"Yes, it was him going to his boss that brought it to light."
"So, if he's worried then he must have a guilty conscience."
I thought about that, "Possibly. Equally he may just think that I'm bearing a grudge, which I am. I might think I've good reason, but he may not, but he might still recognise the possibility."
Keith smiled, "Can't you just have him done over whilst you're sitting in a Board Meeting, with the perfect alibi? Some good, honest violence. Healthy and to the point."
I laughed, "I should have done that four years ago. Surely, waiting four years should at least lend a certain sophistication to the act."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I guess I'll play it by ear. But I might like to have some fun, and make him suffer a little bit. Make him question his behaviour, as I play it by ear."
"Well, as I said, don't risk your career on a bit of silly revenge. That's beneath you, you're better than that."
After that we changed subject and chatted about Keith and Anne's new life in San Diego. As neither of us could drink, and Keith had plenty to do at home, once we'd finished our meal, we headed to our homes. But I did remind him that I would like to take him and Anne to dinner one evening next week.
Thursday in the office went well, but nothing surprising. The new sign went up on the building, ITI-Franks Ltd, beside a big ITI logo. Of course first thing Carole asked was "Did you phone her?" and when I said "Yes", she just smiled and said "Good."
I went shopping on my way home, I thought I ought to have a full range of drinks and juice, and some nibbles. I got some nice olives, personally I can't stand olives but I know Molly loves them. This meeting was making me nervous, I wasn't quite sure what was expected. Molly used to drink white wine in the evening, but she may have changed her tastes in drink like she did in her men.
When I got in I had a microwaved lasagne, which was all it promised to be - average! Then I went to have a shower and change - into my most elegant, expensive, casual clothes. I checked that there was plenty of ice, I put some olives and some peanuts out on the coffee table, and I looked at my watch, it was still only eight o'clock.
I tried reading some business papers. For a while I didn't do badly, my business discipline and love of my job switched in. But by quarter to nine my nerves switched back in. I couldn't sit still and I paced the room. I found myself watching the occasional car as it cruised pass, waiting to see if this was her. There were a couple of vacant parking spaces on the opposite side of the road from my flat. I was watching the roof of a silver VW Golf as it parked opposite, what made me take more interest was that no one got out. And then the driver's door opened, and it was Molly. I gulped, here we go then!
I waited until she pressed the buzzer on the entry phone. "Hello, Chris, it's Molly."
"Come on up." And I pressed the release button. I went and waited by my open front door, watching the lift. And then it was there and the doors were opening. For the first time in nearly four years I met my ex-wife.
I smiled, totally naturally, I could never help myself from smiling when I saw Molly. "Hi! Come on in. Let me take your coat."
She smiled and walked passed me into my lobby. I stood behind her and she shrugged off her coat. She turned and offered her cheek for a kiss. I looked at her face, she looked older and something else was missing from her eyes, I wasn't sure what. I kissed her cheek, and smelled her perfume. It was a smell that instantly took me back to a different, happier time. I knew it was a perfume that she wore because I loved it, but I could no longer remember what it was, the memory plays funny tricks.
"Do go in." I hung her coat on one of a set of wall hooks. "Would you like a drink?"
"Yes, please. A glass of white wine, if you have it?"
"I guessed that's what you would want. I'll join you. Do go in and sit down, I'll get us the drinks."
By the time I had poured the drinks and joined her in the living room, she was sitting on the sofa and looking around. I put her drink on the table in front of her.
She smiled as she watched me, "Your looking good, Chris, very tanned and fit."
"That's what a couple of weeks in South Africa does for you in January. I can recommend it."
"Just sunbathing?"
"Mainly, but some good food and wine, and a few days in a game park."
"Lucky you."
"Well, we get four weeks off between assignments to sort ourselves out, to move and get organised. Well I was coming back to London, but not necessarily permanently, so I just found a furnished flat in Fulham, and then I could spend three weeks on holiday, two of them in South Africa."
"With Ellen?" She was casual and she smiled, but there was an edge to her voice.
How dare she? She's hardly through the door and she's asking me about my private life.
"Her name is Helene, and Yes, with her." I answered, I hoped curtly enough to close this bit of the conversation.
But she pressed on, "Has she come over with you?"
"She's in Apeldoorn at the moment." I answer with the minimal information.
"The boys said she is very beautiful, and they liked her a lot when you took them to Euro-Disney."
I smiled, "She is very beautiful, or I think so. But I suspect the boys affection was probably more motivated by someone taking them to Euro-Disney."
She smiled, at least with her mouth, but she seemed to get the message on a closed subject.
There was a pause, then she looked around the room, "This is very smart. Is it yours?"
"No. It's rented for me by the Company. It was this or a hotel. I chose this."
"So you're not here for long then?"
"Oh yes I am. My guess would be for five years, assuming nothing else comes up. I did two years at Jamesons, nearly two years in International Consultancy, and that was only cut short because I created merry hell, and wanted to get out. Then two years over in Holland. And normally, when you've worked your apprenticeship like that, they start lengthening your stay. My guess is that I've got about five years. But who knows, things change." I smiled half-heartedly.
"You know Peter works for Franks?"
"Yes, his boss came to see me about it."
"Piers McBaine? Piers and Jeanette are good friends to Peter and myself. Mainly it's Piers and Peter, but I have a very good relationship with Jeanette as well."
I nodded, I wasn't surprised.
She went on: "Peter is very worried about you being there....."
"Why?"
"He's scared that you might make life difficult for him. He is good, Piers thinks the world of him, and his work is very important. And there's nowhere else that he could really go and do it...." She looked at me pleadingly.
"I've already told Dr McBaine that he will have the full support of the ITI personnel policy. We are an equal opportunity employer, whatever your race, colour, creed, sexual orientation.... It even covers wife stealers." I smiled.
She rose to the bait, "You shouldn't think of him that way. He's a very nice person. And he's good at his job. And he loves me very much." She looked up into my eyes, I felt she was looking for something, I wondered what.
"Well, whatever..... Let's not argue."
There was a pause, a long pause, when we both sipped our wine. Then the olives caught her eye, she took one, "That was kind," she paused, and her voice was almost breaking when she added, "You were always so thoughtful....."
I determinedly changed the subject to the purpose of the meeting, "I was hoping to see the boys at the weekend."
"Of course, they'll be with Ralph and Susan." I remembered that Molly always called her parents by their Christian names, they had told her to do it on her twenty first birthday, when we got engaged, and they said she was now her own woman now and should talk to them as adults.
"You going away?"
"No," she paused to choose her words, "Maybe you can help with this: the boys, both of them, sort of gang up on Peter. They know exactly which buttons to press to put him into a terrible rage of frustration, because he has no defence against them. He usually ends up going out for a run to get over it and to put a pause on things. I've tried so hard to stop them doing it, but they just see it as sport. And, of course, he rises to it every time. He knows they're doing it, but he can't ride it and ignore it. So to keep the peace, the boys tend to stay with Ralph and Susan at the weekends. It's just a phase they're going through, so it's just until they grow out of it. They are very happy there, it's not like sending them away as a punishment or that I'm rejecting them. I'm just stuck in the middle of a war. Perhaps you will be able to influence them. Please, Chris, it isn't good for them either."
I was concerned, "It doesn't sound the loving stable ****** we always promised them."
She instantly became upset, tears were obviously imminent, "I'm doing my best! He tries so hard, but the boys make it impossible. It isn't easy for him, he loves me so much, but they're not his...." She sipped her wine to calm herself.
I thought for a moment, "Well, I guess it leads me to why I asked to meet. I don't know how the boys will take to me wanting to be back in their lives on a regular basis. I doubt whether I've got the sort of relationship with them at the moment where I can influence their attitude to their step-father. I certainly don't deserve to be that well thought of."
She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, and then she looked at me, "I know it's been difficult for you. You were so hurt by what happened, and your job...... but I've tried to make sure they think about you a lot."
"Well, thanks for that. I really would like to be part of their lives. I'd like to see them every weekend, unless I have to go away, of course. And I'll take them on holiday again, two weeks somewhere, I don't know where yet."
She smiled, "They love their holidays with you!" She almost sounded wistful before she remembered herself, "So when do you want them, and what are you going to do?"
"I haven't really thought about what to do. I thought I might bring them back here for a bit, to see where their *** was actually living. But beyond that, I don't know. But I thought of Sunday, I'll pick them up at about ten say, and bring them back around six. How does that sound?"
"A long time for all of you for the first time. If I were you, I'd volunteer for less." She smiled.
"Yes, perhaps you're right. How about I collect them at about eleven, bring them back here to let them see the place. Then I'll take them out to lunch, and bring them back to Ralph and Susan's mid-afternoon?"
"That sounds more manageable."
"Do you think there's going to be a problem with them? If my seeing them upsets them in any way, then I'll drop out. My feelings aren't important compared to what's good for them."
Suddenly, again tears were imminent, "No, don't say that! I never wanted to separate you and them. They need their father. Please, what I did caused enough damage to our ******, don't make it worse."
I just sipped my wine. I didn't know what to say, and I suspected that if I opened my mouth, my emotions would fall out.
Eventually, she spoke, "I just want to say ......" Her voice was thick with emotion, and I could guess what was coming.
"Don't, Molly. Just don't let's go there. We are where we are. There's no point in having regrets about the way things fell out."
I paused and looked at her, I just couldn't read what was in her eyes, I felt it was that she wanted something from me, but I had nothing to give, "I just wish that one day you'll be able to tell me what I did wrong." Then I gave her a false, bright smile, "So that I can get it right next time. You could save some other poor girl a lot of heartache."
Her voice was still breaking, but she smiled, "She'll be very lucky..... so very lucky." She took her handkerchief and blew her nose. Then she smiled again, and looked brighter.
I smiled at her, reassuringly, "That's better. We'll get used to it. We should try to be friends for the boys' sake."
She smiled weakly, but seemed to relax, as if something was resolved in her mind, "Yes, let's work on getting the boys their father back. That's what's important now." She sipped her wine, but was watching me.
I sipped my wine and watched her as she watched me. I noticed she was wearing a very attractive gold necklace. I guess he had given her that. Molly was the sort of girl that men buy jewellery for. But I noticed she still wasn't wearing earrings, like me he hadn't convinced her to get her ears pierced. I'd wanted her to, so that I could buy her some good earrings, but Molly has a classic needle phobia, and no way was she going to volunteer for someone to stick things through her flesh.
She was the first to speak, "You seem less stressed by your work than you were at Jamesons. I know you were very stressed then."
I smiled, "Well, I've hardly started at Franks. I haven't been there long enough to know what to be stressed about. But you're right, I've changed my management style, and it's a lot easier on everyone." Then a thought struck me. "Was that it, that I forgot you with my troubles with Jamesons? I did try to keep things in proportion."
"Oh! No, it wasn't you at Jamesons. No, it was my fault, all my fault." Again tears looked imminent, she sniffed hard and stared at me.
I looked at her hopefully, I just needed her to explain. But she just said, "I best be going."
"Yes, you must get back to your husband. He'll be worried about you." And I went to get her coat.
I held it for her, and then opened the front door. She pressed herself against me, maybe I little harder than was necessary for me to peck the proffered cheek. But maybe that was my imagination. I got a full whiff of that damned perfume.
I shut the door behind her, and a wave of emotion hit me. Remnants of the hurt and anger of four years ago. Remembrance of what we used to have, what we lost. I poured myself another glass of wine, muttering "John, 11:35" under my breath, and strolled to the window.
For a moment I thought about Helene. I had really loved her, and I had been tempted to marry her before I realised what a lousy husband I would make. But, even with a love that came so close, it was nothing compared to the emotion that Molly could stir up in me. Helene didn't know what a lucky escape she had.
As I looked out of the window I saw her getting into her car. But she didn't pull away. I just watched. It just sat there, she didn't even put the lights on. I wonder if she had an electrical fault, I wondered if I should go down. But maybe she's just phoning home, checking in with him. He would be worried about his wife off to see the father of her children, her first husband. Yes that must be it. If it was that then it was a long conversation, she's been sitting there for at least ten minutes. I stood and watched, not knowing what to do. I'd look a fool if I went down and she was just on the phone. Then her lights came on. A couple of minutes later she started to move and pulled away.
As expected, the next morning Carole asked, "How was it?"
I smiled, "Mixed. Sorting out the children was the easy bit."
On the Friday evening, after work, I did go round to Keith's leaving do at the Lord Raglan. But I didn't know that many people, and I didn't know the jokes, and finally the senior partner started making overtures about the help I would need at Franks. So I bought Keith a drink and left.
So there I was, eleven o'clock on Sunday morning knocking at my ex-in-laws front door. Susan answered it. "Oh, its you!"
"Yes, Susan, are the boys ready for me?"
"Yes, they're ready." She paused and looked at me with accusing eyes, "Why have you come back? You only upset Molly and Peter, and now I hear you're his boss. You leave him alone, he loves Molly so much, and it's his job that their life depends on."
"And it's nice to see you again, Susan!" I was beginning to get very annoyed. So you're babysitting the boys, that gives you no right... but I didn't say it.
I saw Ralph doing something on the other side of the front garden. He was watching, but didn't come over. A man of few words is Ralph.
Just then Jamie came out, quickly followed by Ben. I crouched down to greet them, but they walked straight passed me, "Is that your car, ***?"
"Yes. You'll have to squeeze yourselves into the back and strap yourselves in."
"Come on Ben, ***'s got a XK. Why didn't you get the XKR, that would have been better?"
Well, there's not a lot wrong with them, I thought. Actually the day went better than I feared. They weren't over the top in being pleased to see me, but they weren't sullen or withdrawn as I'd feared. They liked the lunch, partly because I allowed them to choose off the adult menu and didn't insist on the children's menu. It wasted a lot of food, but they liked being treated like grown ups.
When I got them back to Susan and Ralph's, it was Molly who opened the door, which surprised me..
She smiled, "I thought I'd come round for when they came back, just in case."
"Well there were no problems. They've been as good as gold."
"Good. Why not come in for a cup of tea?"
With a high probability of Peter Davies being in there, no thank you! "I won't thanks, I've got some business stuff that I must read before tomorrow. The boys will tell you all about what we did."
She stepped towards me, "Ralph said that Susan was a bit rude to you when you collected the boys. I'm sorry about that. She shouldn't have."
"Well she never liked me. That was another thing I got wrong." I paused and we looked at each other. I had the distinct feeling that something was being left unsaid, but I didn't know what or how to coax it out of her, "Look, how about we do exactly the same next Sunday, after that I can up the hours a bit for the subsequent weeks, as they get used to me."
"That sounds OK. I'll tell them."
"Well I'm off then." And I turned and walked back to my car.
On Monday it seemed that I was hardly in the office before I was out again, driving down to Exeter to meet Stephen Hobbs and learn about ITI-Franks Engineering Ltd, or that's what it would be called very soon. What I found was a very friendly, very professional specialist engineering company, building prototypes for the Laboratories, and solving engineering problems on special sales. It was a good, sound little company that TDF had brought into the Group when they realised that they were the biggest customer to a company that was up for sale as the two brothers who owned it wanted to retire. It seems that they then left it as a self-contained little unit, an hour down the road in Exeter rather than merging it fully into the Bristol operation. I also found out that it was a lot bigger and employed far more staff than I imagined. And it had a lot of underused capacity. But, I liked Stephen Hobbs and his colleagues, and they made me feel welcome. I left with some questions in my mind, but no great concerns.
Now, on Tuesday I arrived at my office to find a very attractive girl sitting on the couch in Carole's office, obviously waiting for me. I looked questioningly at Carole.
"I've left all your messages on your desk, and the first five summaries of Mr Bauer's Committees. I don't think you've met Miss Hepsted, who's waiting for you."
I turned, and Myra Hepsted stood up and shook my hand. She was blonde with intelligent grey-green eyes. About 5'8" with 36B's, and I would guess a bit under thirty years old. Overall, a very attractive package.
"Welcome, Myra, I'm Chris, Chris Bennett. I'm so glad you're here. You've got so much to do, and so little time to do it in. Come on in." I turned to Carole, "Coffee, please."
I guided her to a sofa, and I sat in a rather comfortable chair. I had a nice view of her legs, crossed at the ankles and tucked into the sofa. "I guess you know why you're here?"
"To be the hated one that's going to change all the accounting procedures?"
I smiled, "Only to start. Once Accounts really hate you, I will want you to move on, so that a couple of other areas get a chance to hate you as well."
Now she smiled, and a very nice smile it was, "Anyone in particular?"
"The three I've spotted to date are," I started ticking them off against my fingers, "Exeter: It seems a nice self-contained unit. I'd like to know that the in-house charging structure is on commercial terms. If so, we'll have to decide, do we keep them or sell them off. Production: I want a thorough review that we are doing it effectively. Should we be in production at all, or just contracting with the Far East say, or should we be an assembly point, using sub-contract production and some of Exeter's specialist abilities. And finally, the real imponderable one, the Laboratories, how much should we be spending on research, and are we getting value for money on what we do spend."
Again she smiled, and I was pleased that she was undaunted. "Well I can see I'll have my work cut out."
"In a minute I'll take you down to Accounts and introduce you, although I guess you know them all down there from the takeover?"
"Yes, and I don't think they're looking forward to me."
"Why not?"
"Most of them, including Trevor Gale the Director, have all been here for years. They spent a lot of effort changing to TDF's methodologies only a few years ago. Now I'm going to come along with the ITI systems and standards. Would you like it if you were them?"
"Not much. But that's life these days. But the change is necessary, and it'll keep a large part of HQ off our backs if they see us getting on with it. And it'll be nice to have some numbers we can rely on." I smiled reassuringly, "You'll be part of the Accounts Department, but you will have a direct line to me. OK?"
"Sure." She smiled, she was one confidant lady.
"I know you've still got some things to do back at HQ, The Old Man told me. How much of your time can you give us?"
"My best guess is that I'll have to be in London for about one day a week for the next month. After that I should be free. I've got a lot to do up there, but a lot of it I can get through in the evenings at home."
"You shouldn't be home in the evenings. A pretty girl like you should have a different beau for every night of the week." I smiled.
She smiled, "Well thank you kind sir, but I tried one beau and he rather put me off the whole beau idea."
"Bad time?"
"If you mean by that, did I chase a man all round the country, making a complete fool of myself, only to have confirmed what I already suspected, that he chased anything in a skirt and love and promises meant nothing to him? Well, Yes, a bad time." She really sounded bitter, but she opened her handbag and took out a tissue to wipe an eye.
"Bad luck. We're not all like that. Just some of us."
"Well, I'm off men for a long, long time." She looked purposefully at me. But I chose to interpret that as a positive sign, at least I'd registered as a possibility, which was progress.
When I got to bed on Tuesday evening I lay awake thinking about my visit to Marston Abbey tomorrow. What was I going to do with Peter Fucking Davies? I didn't move an inch on my guess that he was an immoral little shit, at least in the beginning, but I didn't want him to leave taking his good mind from the company. Worse still, he might then take my two sons off somewhere. No, not now, not when I've just got a chance to start being back in their lives. But, I did want him to feel guilty over what he had done to me, what he had done to the boys. I did want him to suffer.
For a while I thought about Myra Hepsted. She was an interesting challenge. I guessed she was in much the same place as Helena had been when I got together with her. Surely I stood a chance? This time it would only be one of us that needed nursing back to health. But, then again, we were colleagues, and affairs at work can be disastrous.
For a while, I combined my two problems. Maybe I could tempt Peter Davies into an affair with Myra. Show him up to everyone for what he was, an immoral little shit. But that would be a cruel misuse of Myra. It would also hurt Molly, I wondered what I felt about that, but I wasn't sure. Then I thought about Myra again, and decided that Davies had stolen one beautiful girl from me, I wasn't going to proffer another.
Eventually, I fell asleep with no better idea than I'd play it by ear.
When I arrived at the Laboratories I was impressed by a long sweeping gravel drive that led to a parking area in front of a huge timber framed medieval house. I asked for Dr McBaine and he came and collected me and took me to his office.
For the next hour he gave me a Power Point presentation about their work. It was actually quite good, and he presented it very professionally, I was impressed. When we got to the end I started asking questions. His presentation was very light on costs, on expectations for the market if the research was successful, or even the chances of success. What I got was a pure researchers answers about the need to understand the problem, the search for knowledge. I began to realise that I was talking to a scientific seeker of truth. My ear started playing.
After nearly an hour's worth of questions I asked my next one, "What chance of getting fed in this place?"
Piers McBaine smiled, "Well we have a Refectory here, not as varied as the one at the Factory, but still quite good. And I hear you like to meet staff and chat to them at lunch."
The fame of my lunch on the first day had obviously spread to Marston Abbey. But that didn't suit my purpose today, so I asked "Or?"
"Or we can walk over to the George in the village, it's got quite a good restaurant."
I smiled, "The exercise will do us good."
There was a footpath through the grounds that came out in the middle of the village, about fifty yards up the road from the George, which turned out to be a pleasant Victorian country pub. These researchers had an idyllic working environment, I was impressed if not envious, "How do you go back to work after lunch in summer? Just to sit in the sun or stroll the grounds must be so tempting."
"We're scientists. What's tempting is our belief that this time we do the experiment we will discover something; that this time we look down the microscope we'll see something new. We're driven by the need to know."
After that we returned to talk about the research projects until we were seated in the dining room and our lunches were served.
When it was obvious that that line of conversation had run out, I changed the subject: "I understand you chose today for my visit because your deputy is out of the office."
Piers smiled, "He was meant to be."
"You mean he came in today?"
"Yes. He's been out every Wednesday for months, today he came in."
"Did he know I was coming?"
"Yes, I told him."
"So either he wants a face to face, or he's putting a brave face on everything."
"My guess is that Molly sent him in. He is very worried about you. I told him to stay in his office unless I call for him. Will you shake his hand?"
Now that was a good question, "I once heard the definition of a gentleman was a man who would rather meet people he didn't like than dirty his hands on a bargepole. I guess you'll find out if I'm a gentleman." I smiled, "But if you see me arrive with a long pole on the roof of my car...."
Piers smiled, but then there was a pause, which he broke "Molly has been very good for Piers. That marriage has changed him."
"From what?"
He smiled as he remembered a few years back, "Peter joined us straight from getting his masters. I was Deputy in those days, and I very quickly recognised a nice bloke, and a great researcher. He never seemed to have a girlfriend, then, but after a couple of years he seemed to have a very active private life." He looked up at me, "He became a bit of a Don Juan. I dread to think how many girlfriends he had in the next few years."
"Any of them married?"
He paused and thought about that, "Yes, at least a couple. But I don't think they were in happy marriages, I think they'd separated from their husbands before Peter came on the scene. Jeanette, that's my wife, would know better. She is the religious and moral side of the ******, I'm the scientist. And she wouldn't have anything to do with a home wrecker."
"Well he certainly wrecked my home! I reckon he was predator, preying on an attractive woman who he fancied, irrespective of her marriage, her children and her loving husband."
"Maybe it was love at first sight. I'm sure they love each other now."
"So am I. But do you believe in love at first sight? I know it wasn't like that for me. Attraction, lust, sexual interest, but not love. True, lasting love comes later. Didn't it for you? Do you know anyone else that you really believe fell in love with their partner across a crowded room? I don't know of any."
Piers fell quiet and thoughtful. So I sowed a seed, "Well I guess we'll never know. He's the only one who could tell us."
It was obvious that conversation about his friend was beginning to bother him. He wanted to bring it to an end, "Well it was years ago now. And anyway, there are plenty of bachelors.... No, some married men as well, who try their luck with a pretty lady. That's life."
"And you don't think they're wrong? You don't mind that?" I questioned.
Piers smiled, and spontaneously replied, "Not unless it's my wife they're chatting up!" Then he laughed.
I put down my knife and fork and just stared at him. He knew exactly what he'd said in a moments thoughtlessness. I left the pause about thirty seconds too long, whilst he looked embarrassed and shame faced.
Eventually, I let him off the hook and changed the subject, "What's the history of the Abbey?"
"There's nothing particularly important about the house. Originally it was obviously part of the Church. After the Reformation, it was a ****** home up to the Government requisitioning it in the war. When the Government were ready to return it, the ****** didn't want it anymore, so it was sold. Walter Roach Franks himself bought it, I believe with the idea of making it his home, but his wife had other ideas. So eventually it was turned into the offices and laboratories. Of course the offices moved to the factory in Bristol when they took new premises there."
"And how old is it?"
"The earliest is one cellar that the experts think is about 1430's. But the main house is very early sixteenth century, I seem to remember that 1518 is an important date. But there's nothing special architecturally."
"And how many acres?"
"One hundred and sixty one in total. But the Abbey stands in immediate grounds of twenty eight acres. The rest is just leased to local farmers. The grounds are meant to be private, but we turn a blind eye to dog walkers and the early morning joggers."
"I envy you. Maybe I should move the offices back."
"Well it has its problems. Do you know those sixteenth century builders didn't build in one decent bit of trunking for cables. There are no false ceilings or raised floors. Technically you couldn't have a worse building for scientific laboratories."
I smiled. And suggested we headed back. I added "I'd like a bit of a tour, just to visit a couple of projects. And then, do you have a room big enough for all staff to assemble?"
"Sure, the Refectory."
"Well, perhaps at about four o'clock say, I could talk to all staff. Nothing controversial, just the standard ITI PR talk."
I enjoyed the short tour. The staff were really very welcoming and friendly, and delighted that someone was showing interest in their work. After some time, we retired back to Piers' office for a cup of tea.
At five past four I came into a crowded Refectory. The whole staff were seated in a theatre style layout, with a table and a couple of chairs at the top. I soon spotted Peter Fucking Davies, he was sitting towards the back, at the end of a row, trying to make himself inconspicuous, and ready for a quick exit.
Piers McBaine hammered the table with his glass, and brought the group to attentiveness, and then quickly introduced me. I stood, taking off my jacket and hanging it on the back of my chair, and sliding the chair under the table. Now I had a space to walk round, chatting rather than giving a speech, sometimes gesticulating with my hands, sometimes with my hands in my pockets. A couple of times I stepped backwards, behind Piers' sightline. And I checked, he remained facing forward, not watching me.
Having given them the usual corporate spiel, and told them how welcoming and professional they all were, and all the usual stuff, I paused. Then I looked up "Change is not mandatory, but then again, survival is not mandatory." I told them that change would happen, that was inevitable. There would be new projects, and some of the current projects would be backed with more funds, greater support. Research was the future for a scientific company like ours.
Then I invited questions. Someone near the front was bright enough to recognise that I had begged a question. "If you are going to expand some projects, does that mean that you might close down some?"
I put my hands in my pockets, I bowed my head in thought, and I took a step backwards to be out of Piers' sightline, "Of course it is possible we will feel that some projects are not sustainable for any of a hundred reasons. I don't foresee it..." I scanned over the audience, but my eyes then fell on Davies, and for a moment too long, I stared at him as I said, "...but I suppose it may be possible that a particular project might have to be closed." I smiled, "The future is always full of surprises."
There were a few more questions, which I answered far more positively, then they gave me a round of applause, and myself and Piers went back to his office.
He looked at me, "I think that went well."
"Thank you, I really meant it when I said that research and new products are our future. I will be looking to increase funding. But I also meant it, there may well be changes."
"Changes I can cope with, especially if they come with increased funding. I owe you thanks as well, for the other thing..."
I waited.
"I was a bit scared that you might try showing up Peter or something. I'm glad you didn't."
I smiled, "I'm glad you thought I was OK."
That evening I met Keith and Anne for a farewell dinner. I chose the best restaurant I could fine listed in the guides, and I have to say the food was exquisite. Anne wanted to go over much of the same territory as Keith had at the Golf Club. I didn't learn anything new, except that Anne put greater emphasis on how 'dull' Molly had seemed. When she reiterated it, she said "It was as if she was just full of regrets about the past rather than excitement about the future."
I again offered up some of the myriad of reasons as to why that may have been her mood on that day. "For Goodness sake, Anne. I'm not sure what you're trying to imply, but they've lasted four years together, I don't think she was regretting losing me that much. She may just have been having a bad day. I on the other hand have just had a very good day, and I am excited about the future."
