Some of you may remember my story of quite a while ago "Wonder Woman's Most Fulfilling Adventure." If not, I'd love you to read it, although it's not really necessary to understand this story. As the earlier story ended, our favorite Amazonian Princess was definitely out of the crime-fighting business. The busty ex-super heroine had just borne a ******** for the tribe's ancient enemy, Pan, and was facing a life of slavery, making more and more babies for the horny god.
More to the point of Pan's plot, the World of Men, without a strong feminine role model provided by Wonder Woman and unprotected against Pan and Althea his witch Queen, was vulnerable to Pan's schemes to reestablish traditional male dominance over women.
Word of the disappearance of her elder ********, Diana has reached Queen Hypolite who with great reluctance is about to send her younger ********, Drucilla, to replace Wonder Woman. Before she sends her off, however she REALLY reads her the riot act about "fooling around." We take up the story at that point.
**
A World Turned Upside Down Homer Vargas - Vargas111@yahoo.com
**
"Geez, I know all that, Mom! I'll be OK, really," the excited Drucilla exclaimed. "You've told me all that stuff before."
"Drucilla darling, it's not that I don't trust you, but it's just so important, now that Diana has disappeared. You are the only other Amazon that has ever visited the World of Men and only you can fill in until you find her. Things are going from bad to worse there for women. And it's all so mysterious. We think some Evil Power may have been involved in what happened to Diana."
"Gee, Mom, I don't see what's so mysterious. You know Diana has always been oversexed. You haven't seen her orgasming like crazy every time some two- bit evil genius ties her up and tries to climax her into submission or the way she grinds her hips back onto the member of one of those plantamals that capture her and tries to plant it's seed in her. I think she just got tired of being a technical virgin. She hadn't been violated and orgamsed silly in so long she shacked up with that Steve Trevor who had been trying to get into her pants for all these years. Looks like she was getting it so good from ole Stevie, she got a little careless and let him put a little bun in her oven. Then, when the shame of being a pregnant Wonder Woman got too bad, she fled into hiding. But don't worry, Mom, I'll find her."
"You may be right, my dear! But why at least didn't she come back here? We would have accepted her."
"Gosh, Mom, from the lectures you've given me all my life, I'll bet she didn't feel that an Amazon girl showing up back on Paradise Island with a big belly would exactly be welcomed with open arms."
"Oh, dear! Perhaps some of the blame does fall on me. But it IS more complicated than you think, darling. We've made inquires; her OB/GYN told us she was three or more months pregnant BEFORE she started sleeping with that <shudder> military person. Yet she had not lost her superpowers. Apparently she had been impregnated earlier, but without her having "given herself" to a man Her powers only started to fade when she began letting Col. Trevor ... you know."
"'Fuck' mom. Can't you say 'fuck?' Steve was fucking her." Still, Dru was momentarily sobered.
"Besides not knowing what you're up against, you don't have much time. If you don't find her or take Diana's place, Paradise Island is doomed," Drucillia's worried mother continued.
"Huh? How could my failure in the World of Men -- not that I'm going to fail -- harm Paradise Island?" Dru asked.
"I've never told you or the others, but you have to know. We Amazons don't really own Paradise Island. The gods only extend our lease in return for the services of an Amazon. She has to handle all the dirty little chores in the World of Men that the Gods would have to take care of otherwise. But now there is some guy who's rich as Croesius - Portes? Doors? Gates? -- That has offered Zeus billions for the place, wants to develop it as a Club Eros or something. To persuade him to let us stay long enough to give you a chance took everything I could do. And I do mean EVERYTHING."
"Mom! You don't mean you let him ...?"
"'Fuck, Dru. Can't you say, 'fuck'? Zeus was fucking me. Weekly! Or should I say 'weakly?' Humph! The erstwhile Father of the Gods and Men is definitely over the hill as a lover. Could hardly get it up twice a day and only fucks for an hour or so before he looses it."
"Mother!" Dru could hardly believe her ears.
"Of course Hephaestus was even worse. A few friendly fucks weren't enough to get him to make you a new golden lasso and magic girdle. He insisted I take out my magic diaphragm so he could get me --"
"Mother, you don't mean --"
"Yes, Dru. There is going to be a new little Amazon on Paradise Island for the first time since your were a baby," Hypolite sighed, patting her tummy and not looking all that unhappy about the divine extortion. "At least Aphrodite had taught HIM a thing or two about how to please a woman. And with you going away, well, I guess it'll be nice to have another little girl around the palace."
'Just a minute, Mom!" Dru asked, wheals turning. "I was born just after Diana was sent to the World of Men. Does that mean that you ..."
"Well, how else do you think I got him to make DIANA's lasso and girdle?"
*****
Now that was quite a revelation, no? Perhaps before we get down to following Dru's exciting adventures, we should take a look at just what our Amazonette will face in the World of Men. Without our star-spangled superheroine things have gotten pretty bad.
Item:
- All the summer movies all have pregnancy themes: they have to. Few actresses younger than 60 can be found that are not pregnant, or nursing a newborn, or both.
- CNBC women newscasters all are proudly toting bellies of different sizes. Debra Marcini, always the pioneer, nurses her six-month old on camera and invites viewers to guess the sex of the one she expecting next.
- The summer Olympics have special categories for pregnant pole-vaulters, knocked-up marathoners and mommy-to-be figure skaters." - The Miss America Beauty Pageant is forced to go all-preggo with special bonus points given for a "firm-contoured-well integrated baby mound".
- Production on teen soap operas on the WB and Fox become erratic owing to dozens of attractive nubile actresses in their ultra-fertile 20's getting knocked up.
- Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge announce they are splitting because Harrison Ford got them both preggers!
- Madonna does a lovingly depicted barefoot- pregnant-and-chained-to-a-stove photo shoot for Rolling Stone.
- Major retailers have maternity brands: "The Mommy Republic," "The Bulge," and "Bloomin' Dale's." - "Fitness" magazine has a "Fit Pregnancy" offspring.
-The faux-affectionate "air kiss" on the cheek of two women who meet has been replaced by a giggly mutual tummy bump/pat/check-out. -The finals of women's tennis features the pregnant Venus and Sabrina Williams duo facing the knocked up team of Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova. A proud-as-a-peacock Jimmy Conners is rooting for the waddling Williams sisters while Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras are glaring suspiciously at each other in the other bleachers.
Drucilla only realized the full extent of the rot one evening as she tried to catch up on the news and found herself instead watching "Style, with Elsa Klensch." After what seemed like an eternity of assault from the CNN logo and jangling fanfare, the program opened with a pan of ... a television studio. "Today, rather than take you to some exotic location I've decided there are quite enough examples of the newest in styles for us professional girls right here at home," intoned Ms Klensch in her trademark voice over.
The next half hour was surreal. It quickly became apparent what kind of fashions had suddenly come into vogue with the hardheaded ladies of CNN. "Notice how the soft green prima cotton skirt flatters Ms Voss's expanding figure while allowing those overloaded tits to bob so enticingly," Elsa pointed out. Indeed, The long-legged Vossie looked as if she had managed to get pregnant with triplets the day news of the Wonder Woman's disappearance hit the ticker. The smiling weather woman pirouetted in front of her maps most fetchingly, her short maternity skirt flying out to clear up any doubts viewers may have had about her being a natural redhead.
"Sissel McCarthy tries to look perky in this hot pink smock with matching heels, but frankly our viewers rather like the way she waddles onto the set and pushes her belly up to the news desk. Sissy, what do you find the most difficult part of holding down a demanding job like yours while waiting for your twins?"
"Gosh, Elsie, I don't know, but I guess it's those long stints on camera before John Metaxis can get me backstage and 'help me unwind,' if you know what I mean," she tittered. "Sometime I have to go for two or three hours without a good <bleep>"
Although she did her best to answer Elsa's questions, Laurin Sydney was at that stage of pregnancy where all she really wanted to do was sleep and get fucked. Jim Moret, who evidently hadn't spent ALL his time in LA, tried to fill in but he was distracted and the curvy blonde kept snuggling into his arms and pulling his hand between her legs. More than most, Laurin had lost her interest in journalism as the bulge Jim had put there, and was now massaging tenderly, expanded.
"And that's it for this week on Style," Elsa announced as the camera drew away to finish up with a shot of Ms Klensch's proud pregnant profile, which Riz Khan was patting tenderly.
The most shocking examples of all these goings on, however, was the virtual collapse of NPR when the girls of the "fallopian jungle." Cokie Roberts, Nina Tottenberg, Linda Wortheimer, all decide to stay home with "this one." Of course idle hands ..., but that's another story. The wags started to call it National Pregnant Radio. How did this happen?
Well, it seems the first to fall by the wayside was Linda, whose husband had run off with a cutie that had let him get her pregnant. After weeks of depression (and getting tired of her vibrator every night) Linda heard about Dr. Althea's public television talk show. After seeing Althea advise women on getting on with one's life, Linda thought about it. She realized this meant she should be getting her brains fucked out as often as possible. She thought about it some more and decided that she deserved a stud muffin of her very own. Not long afterwards Linda found herself frequenting sports bars and taking up with Ricky from ESPN, a hunky ex-shot putter. Ricky had only to put a few shots into Linda before grandmother Wortheimer was headed for the maternity ward.
Even before her friends found out THAT little fact, Cokie and Nina noticed that Linda had not only gotten over her husband's split amazingly fast, but she was suddenly glowing. They also noticed disturbing changes in Linda's behavior, -- proper NPR gravitas ruined by a tendency to break out in giggles. Fortunately it was radio, so listeners were ******* of the equally shocking change in Linda's wardrobe, daring miniskirts in brilliant, scandalous colors, big loopy earrings, high-heel, open-toed sandals showing off brightly painted toe nails. When Cokie or Nina finally confronted her what was going on, Linda just smiled and invited them and their husbands to her SC beach house for a week "to meet him."
To their wives' disgust, Steve and Charles were not as upset at what they heard about Linda's behavior. In fact they seemed all to eager to see her and to meet the new beau that could inspire the kind of sexiness they wished for their own wives, who hadn't shown any knee in public for ten years.
Linda opened the door to the cottage wearing hot pants and a bra-less blouse tied just below her magnificent new set of tits (thanks to a healthy dose of vitamin Silicone taken at Ricky's suggestion). Cokie and Nina almost had to break elbows in their husbands' ribs to keep them from ogling. Knowing how to diffuse a tense situation, Linda ushered everyone into the sitting room and had everyone high on wine coolers by the time Ricky came in from jogging on the beach.
Though they would never have admitted it, especially with their husbands right there, both Cokie and Nina were rather jealous when they got a look at their older friend's lover. He was Latino and built and it was obvious what Linda saw in him. The excited hostess just tuned out her guests for several minutes as she greeted Ricky with a sizzling kiss. Eyes closed, she fondled the prominent erection through his Speedos, while letting him toy with her tits and make her moan from some naughtiness his hand had found to do between her legs. Steve and Charles grinned at each other and scooted closer to their wives who pretended not to look.
Eventually Linda calmed down a bit. "This is RICKY," she sighed, "My new 'friend.'"
Cokie and Nina were slightly put off when Ricky patted Linda's butt and sent her off to fetch beers for "me and m' new buddies," but the breathless woman gladly jumped up and soon re- appeared with three tall ones, bending over to give her "friend" and the other two men an eye- popping peek at her surgically-enhanced cleavage. "Cokie, Nina, why don't we girls go into the kitchen and fix lunch so the guys can talk," Linda beamed.
The two women rolled their eyes at each other, since neither Cokie or Nina had cooked a meal in years and so far and they knew, Linda couldn't boil water either. Wrong! "I've been taking crash gourmet cooking classes because the way to a man's heart -- and you know his 'what else' <giggle- giggle>-- is through his stomach." That explained why Linda had been turning down afternoon reporting assignments recently. Though as far as Cokie and Nina could tell, Linda had no trouble getting to Ricky's "what else."
Once in the kitchen, Linda was dying to know what her friends thought of Ricky, and didn't he have the most gorgeous abs -- and that's not all -- <giggle> and, <blush> does he ever know how to use it, and she'd never know how sexy it was to give a guy blow jobs, and she loved the way his come tasted ("and just five calories, what a great diet drink"), but he certainly made it worthwhile because he could eat her to so many orgasms she passed out, and she'd never had sex even twice a day before with her ex, but Ricky did her four or five times, and she was totally in love, and she had just been dying to tell them sooner, but he promised he was going to get her <breathe> PREGNANT!
Nina was totally taken aback by Linda's non-stop gush of words. Of course she was flabbergasted that her friend of fif...[oops, it isn't nice to tell a lady's age] would think about letting a man twe ...[watch it!] so much younger than she, knock her up and off her career track. She was also quite surprised that Linda would go down on her new lover, but she was also green with envy that a prune-face like Linda had a sexy guy eating her out regularly. Nina had blown Charles a few times when they were first married. Like most women who had been around the block a few times before tying the knot (she had lost her virginity -- better said, cast it aside like a used tampon -- at thirteen when she seduced the Sr. High quarterback) Nina rather liked the taste. Charles's was better than most. But when she tried to get him to give HER some nice tongue action and he made a face as if she had asked him to drink from the Anacostia, she stopped giving head. It just convinced her what a selfish lover he was and rather cooled her ardor for him. She still fucked him every day from need, but frankly she was coming to prefer her vibrator. IT always got her off and didn't snore when ITS batteries ran down.
Cokie, on the other hand, was completely scandalized. She hardly focused on the thought of someone like Ricky putting her older friend back in maternity clothes. Rather, she was shocked and horrified that a woman of fif...[tch tch] would commit the disgusting and immoral acts Linda was admitting to, indeed boasting of! The thought of allowing a man to place his penis in her mouth was revolting as well as indecent. Steve knew better than to ask! But even more revolting was the idea of allowing a man to touch her private parts with his hands or -- worse -- his mouth. Cokie knew from experience with Steve what that led to. It was not only sinful, but also dangerous. Their second and third children (of the planned one) had resulted when, in a moment of weakness, she allowed Steve to touch her down there. In no time she was screaming in orgasm and Steve was in her, making her a mommy again.
Cokie realized she was prone to sin in that way and she struggled daily to resist the urges to pleasure herself. Before they married, she had thought Steve was a nice boy who understood that sex was only for having babies. Instead, he went along with those Post-Counciliar priests who said that sex could be a means of expressing love or even just having fun! Cokie didn't buy it. The nuns had been very specific on that point. She even felt guilty about allowing Steve to fuck her on day twenty-seven. The Pope had said it was OK, but pleasure without procreation felt like cheating. Still, she did love Steve and knew how he suffered on account of her virtue. She had long ago resigned herself to finding evidences of Steve almost nightly sin with his had. Now here was Linda, whom she had always thought to be an upright woman, glorying in giving and receiving pleasure not only from out-of-wedlock intercourse, but also from the most perverse acts Cokie could imagine.
Linda was so wound up from her close encounter with Ricky she wouldn't shut up as she flung together ham, cheese, bread and chips. Putting some of those cooking lessons to use was obviously never in her plans, or if it was, getting her titties fondled and her pussy felt had knocked them right out of her head. Nina had little doubt why Linda was so eager to get the mid-day meal behind them.
Had they never seen one of Dr. Althea's programs, Linda rattled on. Of course Linda recognized they were on public TELEVISION, (Linda uttered the word as if naming a lower phylum in the Linnean classification of media, somewhere between "Hello" magazine and the segmented worms), but the Doctor made such sense and had helped her so much and her noon-time program was on in just a few minutes and they just HAD to see it.
There was no opportunity for Nina and Cokie to object as Linda carefully arranged three sandwiches for the men on a try with more beer, pushed wine coolers into the hands of her friends whom she left to make their own sandwiches and wiggled off to give the boys lunch (and another peek at her boobs).
Hilarious laughter from the sitting room drew Nina and Cokie there double-time. The two women were pretty sure Ricky had made some crude remark about his girlfriend's new endowments and, far from chastising him for his sexist attitude, their husbands were lapping it up. Lapping it up, in fact, was a pretty good description of what Ricky was doing to Linda's honkers, when her friends walked in. Ricky he had popped Linda's boobies out of the pesky blouse, and was using his amazingly long tongue to make the older woman squirm and giggle with delight.
Their spouses, however, had fallen stone silent. It wasn't hard to tell what had shut them up, though their mouths hung open. The television program that Linda had been so keen for them all to see had begun. Their husbands' eyes were riveted to the brilliant oversized screen where a voluptuous woman of indefinite age was prancing and flirting with the camera as she talked. Both Nina and Cokie began guessing which Miss Clairol bottle her hair color had come from, though they supposed that was not what held their spouses' attention. More likely was the skirt that stopped at least five inches up her thigh or the slit that continued up another two or three. On the other hand, it might also be the set of knockers that seemed to be fairly screaming to be released from a push-up bra and out for manual inspection. But in their heart of hearts both women knew what it really was: the beach-ball belly of the television hostess.
'Men,' thought Nina, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Good communication was important between partners: what a cliche. Wait, did she hear that right? Women were always eager to please their men but needed to be told clearly exactly what to do? "Loving but firm instruction is what we need, guys" she giggled. "A woman who has been trained to do as she's told around the house will <sly smile> be the kind of sex kitten you want her to be in bed."
There was something wrong about that, but Nina couldn't figure out just what. As she continued listening, it started making more sense. Of course, Althea explained, if a man wanted a woman who was hot for him day and night, he had to make it worth her while. Keeping her fucked stupid wasn't a physical possibility, given the raging libido of a modern woman. But there ware other ways.
Althea sympathized that some men had never been taught how eating a woman properly could make her your slave. Therefore she had arranged for a demonstration. Then, right in front of Nina and millions of other viewers, Althea lifted her maternity dress and motioned off camera. 'My God,' Nina thought, 'the slut isn't wearing panties and she is DRIPPING.' Nina hadn't seen the two men, who were nodding silently, so rapt by a TV program since the last Super Bowl.
Promptly a burly, hairy man appeared and without saying a word, buried his face in between Althea's legs. For the next forty-five minutes, until Althea became incoherent during her umpteenth orgasm, the nation was treated to the first narrated cunilingus session ever shown on national television. Near the end it got so intense that Nina had to get a little relieve from her own fingers. When she recovered, the program was over and the scene had shifted to banks of telephones. It was pledge week and "the kind of quality programming you have just seen cannot survive without your generous support." Steve and Charles had their checkbooks out, scribbling furiously.
'Men,' thought Cokie, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Of course good communication was important between partners. Wait, did she hear that right? Women needed constantly to ask their partners what they could do to please them better, how they could be sexier and more accommodating in bed? That was bullshit! It was perfectly obvious how to please a man. They were all just overgrown fourteen-year-old boys. After all, a bombshell like Cokie Roberts didn't need advice from this blond bimbo. A little red leather miniskirt would knock Steve's sock off! Some high heels would put a wiggle in her walk that would get her fucked as often as he could get it up. She didn't have to ask Steve anything. The erection he'd get when she met him at the door wearing nothing but heels and a bow around her neck would be all the communication she needed. Of course she already knew what he really wanted, for her to start on a second crop of babies. Well, she was fertile, he could get started tonight, Hell, this afternoon.
When Cokie looked around, she saw Nina with a flushed expression on her face and the boys with what can only be described as a shit-eating grin. Apparently Ricky and Linda didn't need to watch a program about improving communication. Ricky had Linda her back on a couch and was communicating about a third of his large cock into the pussy of the spasming woman who was crying out for more. "Ricky, darling, don't tease me like that. I need it all in me! Fuck me baby, fuck me!
"Are you sure, Lindy-Windy" the athletic young man replied, grinning and keeping up a tantalizingly slow sawing motion in and out of his girlfriend's weeping cunt. "Don't you remember what happened the night we met?"
"How can I forget, you beautiful SOB!" she gasped. "You felt me up in the bar until I couldn't think straight, then took me to your apartment and fucked me stupid."
"And what happens to girls who let boys fuck them stupid without protection?"
"They get knocked up like I did, you bastard maker. Now shut up and put it to me!"
"You want me to do it again, to get you even more pregnant? To have a big bellyful of my baby?"
"Yes, yes, dammit! I don't care if I get too big to fit in my parking space, just FUCK ME!
Nina had been a little worried about how docile and submissive Linda had been around Ricky. Now she was relieved to see that when Linda communicated clearly with Ricky, telling him exactly what she wanted done, he did it. Go girl! As the young man lengthened and deepened his strokes and Linda's moans turned to shrieks of ecstasy, Nina looked at Cokie and then at Charles and smiled. "I think I need a good long <pause> nap," she said and headed down the hall toward the bedrooms.
Cokie gave Steve a similarly seductive look and replied, "Me too. I'm feeling very <pause> sleepy," and sauntered toward the hall, giving her hips an exaggerated wiggle. Charles and Steve high fived and followed their wives swaying assess.
*****
The first days following the vacation Linda saw a marked improvement in both her friends, in Nina's attitude and in Cokie's attire. Nina's bored indifference to her husband, apparent to her friends, underwent a U turn. She wouldn't shut up about how affectionate Charles was, how good looking, how intelligent, how successful, how attentive and how he fucked her brains out night and morning. Cokie, it turned out had knees after all, though few noticed them when she started showing so much flesh to the north. Three, then four, and finally five inch heels replaced the drab flats she wore and suddenly her arms grew bracelets and bangles and her fingers and toes were painted in a dazzling sequence of colors. The topper was when she bent over one day to reveal a small heart tattooed just inches below her ass- cheeks.
A few weeks later Cokie and Nina burst into Linda's cubical, laughing excitedly. "We've just come from Dr. Vargas's clinic and..." Cokie almost shrieked.
Nina interrupted her little friend, "Since he's got almost eight months to plan, he's going to get us adjoining rooms in Sibley Maternity," she announced with a smirk.
"So, the boys did it, eh? I'm so happy for you!" Linda gushed a little insincerely, hugging the two women against her own now very noticeable tummy. "I guess that makes us about even," she continued with a hint of triumph in her voice. "Ricky has given me twins!"
More to the point of Pan's plot, the World of Men, without a strong feminine role model provided by Wonder Woman and unprotected against Pan and Althea his witch Queen, was vulnerable to Pan's schemes to reestablish traditional male dominance over women.
Word of the disappearance of her elder ********, Diana has reached Queen Hypolite who with great reluctance is about to send her younger ********, Drucilla, to replace Wonder Woman. Before she sends her off, however she REALLY reads her the riot act about "fooling around." We take up the story at that point.
**
A World Turned Upside Down Homer Vargas - Vargas111@yahoo.com
**
"Geez, I know all that, Mom! I'll be OK, really," the excited Drucilla exclaimed. "You've told me all that stuff before."
"Drucilla darling, it's not that I don't trust you, but it's just so important, now that Diana has disappeared. You are the only other Amazon that has ever visited the World of Men and only you can fill in until you find her. Things are going from bad to worse there for women. And it's all so mysterious. We think some Evil Power may have been involved in what happened to Diana."
"Gee, Mom, I don't see what's so mysterious. You know Diana has always been oversexed. You haven't seen her orgasming like crazy every time some two- bit evil genius ties her up and tries to climax her into submission or the way she grinds her hips back onto the member of one of those plantamals that capture her and tries to plant it's seed in her. I think she just got tired of being a technical virgin. She hadn't been violated and orgamsed silly in so long she shacked up with that Steve Trevor who had been trying to get into her pants for all these years. Looks like she was getting it so good from ole Stevie, she got a little careless and let him put a little bun in her oven. Then, when the shame of being a pregnant Wonder Woman got too bad, she fled into hiding. But don't worry, Mom, I'll find her."
"You may be right, my dear! But why at least didn't she come back here? We would have accepted her."
"Gosh, Mom, from the lectures you've given me all my life, I'll bet she didn't feel that an Amazon girl showing up back on Paradise Island with a big belly would exactly be welcomed with open arms."
"Oh, dear! Perhaps some of the blame does fall on me. But it IS more complicated than you think, darling. We've made inquires; her OB/GYN told us she was three or more months pregnant BEFORE she started sleeping with that <shudder> military person. Yet she had not lost her superpowers. Apparently she had been impregnated earlier, but without her having "given herself" to a man Her powers only started to fade when she began letting Col. Trevor ... you know."
"'Fuck' mom. Can't you say 'fuck?' Steve was fucking her." Still, Dru was momentarily sobered.
"Besides not knowing what you're up against, you don't have much time. If you don't find her or take Diana's place, Paradise Island is doomed," Drucillia's worried mother continued.
"Huh? How could my failure in the World of Men -- not that I'm going to fail -- harm Paradise Island?" Dru asked.
"I've never told you or the others, but you have to know. We Amazons don't really own Paradise Island. The gods only extend our lease in return for the services of an Amazon. She has to handle all the dirty little chores in the World of Men that the Gods would have to take care of otherwise. But now there is some guy who's rich as Croesius - Portes? Doors? Gates? -- That has offered Zeus billions for the place, wants to develop it as a Club Eros or something. To persuade him to let us stay long enough to give you a chance took everything I could do. And I do mean EVERYTHING."
"Mom! You don't mean you let him ...?"
"'Fuck, Dru. Can't you say, 'fuck'? Zeus was fucking me. Weekly! Or should I say 'weakly?' Humph! The erstwhile Father of the Gods and Men is definitely over the hill as a lover. Could hardly get it up twice a day and only fucks for an hour or so before he looses it."
"Mother!" Dru could hardly believe her ears.
"Of course Hephaestus was even worse. A few friendly fucks weren't enough to get him to make you a new golden lasso and magic girdle. He insisted I take out my magic diaphragm so he could get me --"
"Mother, you don't mean --"
"Yes, Dru. There is going to be a new little Amazon on Paradise Island for the first time since your were a baby," Hypolite sighed, patting her tummy and not looking all that unhappy about the divine extortion. "At least Aphrodite had taught HIM a thing or two about how to please a woman. And with you going away, well, I guess it'll be nice to have another little girl around the palace."
'Just a minute, Mom!" Dru asked, wheals turning. "I was born just after Diana was sent to the World of Men. Does that mean that you ..."
"Well, how else do you think I got him to make DIANA's lasso and girdle?"
*****
Now that was quite a revelation, no? Perhaps before we get down to following Dru's exciting adventures, we should take a look at just what our Amazonette will face in the World of Men. Without our star-spangled superheroine things have gotten pretty bad.
Item:
- All the summer movies all have pregnancy themes: they have to. Few actresses younger than 60 can be found that are not pregnant, or nursing a newborn, or both.
- CNBC women newscasters all are proudly toting bellies of different sizes. Debra Marcini, always the pioneer, nurses her six-month old on camera and invites viewers to guess the sex of the one she expecting next.
- The summer Olympics have special categories for pregnant pole-vaulters, knocked-up marathoners and mommy-to-be figure skaters." - The Miss America Beauty Pageant is forced to go all-preggo with special bonus points given for a "firm-contoured-well integrated baby mound".
- Production on teen soap operas on the WB and Fox become erratic owing to dozens of attractive nubile actresses in their ultra-fertile 20's getting knocked up.
- Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge announce they are splitting because Harrison Ford got them both preggers!
- Madonna does a lovingly depicted barefoot- pregnant-and-chained-to-a-stove photo shoot for Rolling Stone.
- Major retailers have maternity brands: "The Mommy Republic," "The Bulge," and "Bloomin' Dale's." - "Fitness" magazine has a "Fit Pregnancy" offspring.
-The faux-affectionate "air kiss" on the cheek of two women who meet has been replaced by a giggly mutual tummy bump/pat/check-out. -The finals of women's tennis features the pregnant Venus and Sabrina Williams duo facing the knocked up team of Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova. A proud-as-a-peacock Jimmy Conners is rooting for the waddling Williams sisters while Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras are glaring suspiciously at each other in the other bleachers.
Drucilla only realized the full extent of the rot one evening as she tried to catch up on the news and found herself instead watching "Style, with Elsa Klensch." After what seemed like an eternity of assault from the CNN logo and jangling fanfare, the program opened with a pan of ... a television studio. "Today, rather than take you to some exotic location I've decided there are quite enough examples of the newest in styles for us professional girls right here at home," intoned Ms Klensch in her trademark voice over.
The next half hour was surreal. It quickly became apparent what kind of fashions had suddenly come into vogue with the hardheaded ladies of CNN. "Notice how the soft green prima cotton skirt flatters Ms Voss's expanding figure while allowing those overloaded tits to bob so enticingly," Elsa pointed out. Indeed, The long-legged Vossie looked as if she had managed to get pregnant with triplets the day news of the Wonder Woman's disappearance hit the ticker. The smiling weather woman pirouetted in front of her maps most fetchingly, her short maternity skirt flying out to clear up any doubts viewers may have had about her being a natural redhead.
"Sissel McCarthy tries to look perky in this hot pink smock with matching heels, but frankly our viewers rather like the way she waddles onto the set and pushes her belly up to the news desk. Sissy, what do you find the most difficult part of holding down a demanding job like yours while waiting for your twins?"
"Gosh, Elsie, I don't know, but I guess it's those long stints on camera before John Metaxis can get me backstage and 'help me unwind,' if you know what I mean," she tittered. "Sometime I have to go for two or three hours without a good <bleep>"
Although she did her best to answer Elsa's questions, Laurin Sydney was at that stage of pregnancy where all she really wanted to do was sleep and get fucked. Jim Moret, who evidently hadn't spent ALL his time in LA, tried to fill in but he was distracted and the curvy blonde kept snuggling into his arms and pulling his hand between her legs. More than most, Laurin had lost her interest in journalism as the bulge Jim had put there, and was now massaging tenderly, expanded.
"And that's it for this week on Style," Elsa announced as the camera drew away to finish up with a shot of Ms Klensch's proud pregnant profile, which Riz Khan was patting tenderly.
The most shocking examples of all these goings on, however, was the virtual collapse of NPR when the girls of the "fallopian jungle." Cokie Roberts, Nina Tottenberg, Linda Wortheimer, all decide to stay home with "this one." Of course idle hands ..., but that's another story. The wags started to call it National Pregnant Radio. How did this happen?
Well, it seems the first to fall by the wayside was Linda, whose husband had run off with a cutie that had let him get her pregnant. After weeks of depression (and getting tired of her vibrator every night) Linda heard about Dr. Althea's public television talk show. After seeing Althea advise women on getting on with one's life, Linda thought about it. She realized this meant she should be getting her brains fucked out as often as possible. She thought about it some more and decided that she deserved a stud muffin of her very own. Not long afterwards Linda found herself frequenting sports bars and taking up with Ricky from ESPN, a hunky ex-shot putter. Ricky had only to put a few shots into Linda before grandmother Wortheimer was headed for the maternity ward.
Even before her friends found out THAT little fact, Cokie and Nina noticed that Linda had not only gotten over her husband's split amazingly fast, but she was suddenly glowing. They also noticed disturbing changes in Linda's behavior, -- proper NPR gravitas ruined by a tendency to break out in giggles. Fortunately it was radio, so listeners were ******* of the equally shocking change in Linda's wardrobe, daring miniskirts in brilliant, scandalous colors, big loopy earrings, high-heel, open-toed sandals showing off brightly painted toe nails. When Cokie or Nina finally confronted her what was going on, Linda just smiled and invited them and their husbands to her SC beach house for a week "to meet him."
To their wives' disgust, Steve and Charles were not as upset at what they heard about Linda's behavior. In fact they seemed all to eager to see her and to meet the new beau that could inspire the kind of sexiness they wished for their own wives, who hadn't shown any knee in public for ten years.
Linda opened the door to the cottage wearing hot pants and a bra-less blouse tied just below her magnificent new set of tits (thanks to a healthy dose of vitamin Silicone taken at Ricky's suggestion). Cokie and Nina almost had to break elbows in their husbands' ribs to keep them from ogling. Knowing how to diffuse a tense situation, Linda ushered everyone into the sitting room and had everyone high on wine coolers by the time Ricky came in from jogging on the beach.
Though they would never have admitted it, especially with their husbands right there, both Cokie and Nina were rather jealous when they got a look at their older friend's lover. He was Latino and built and it was obvious what Linda saw in him. The excited hostess just tuned out her guests for several minutes as she greeted Ricky with a sizzling kiss. Eyes closed, she fondled the prominent erection through his Speedos, while letting him toy with her tits and make her moan from some naughtiness his hand had found to do between her legs. Steve and Charles grinned at each other and scooted closer to their wives who pretended not to look.
Eventually Linda calmed down a bit. "This is RICKY," she sighed, "My new 'friend.'"
Cokie and Nina were slightly put off when Ricky patted Linda's butt and sent her off to fetch beers for "me and m' new buddies," but the breathless woman gladly jumped up and soon re- appeared with three tall ones, bending over to give her "friend" and the other two men an eye- popping peek at her surgically-enhanced cleavage. "Cokie, Nina, why don't we girls go into the kitchen and fix lunch so the guys can talk," Linda beamed.
The two women rolled their eyes at each other, since neither Cokie or Nina had cooked a meal in years and so far and they knew, Linda couldn't boil water either. Wrong! "I've been taking crash gourmet cooking classes because the way to a man's heart -- and you know his 'what else' <giggle- giggle>-- is through his stomach." That explained why Linda had been turning down afternoon reporting assignments recently. Though as far as Cokie and Nina could tell, Linda had no trouble getting to Ricky's "what else."
Once in the kitchen, Linda was dying to know what her friends thought of Ricky, and didn't he have the most gorgeous abs -- and that's not all -- <giggle> and, <blush> does he ever know how to use it, and she'd never know how sexy it was to give a guy blow jobs, and she loved the way his come tasted ("and just five calories, what a great diet drink"), but he certainly made it worthwhile because he could eat her to so many orgasms she passed out, and she'd never had sex even twice a day before with her ex, but Ricky did her four or five times, and she was totally in love, and she had just been dying to tell them sooner, but he promised he was going to get her <breathe> PREGNANT!
Nina was totally taken aback by Linda's non-stop gush of words. Of course she was flabbergasted that her friend of fif...[oops, it isn't nice to tell a lady's age] would think about letting a man twe ...[watch it!] so much younger than she, knock her up and off her career track. She was also quite surprised that Linda would go down on her new lover, but she was also green with envy that a prune-face like Linda had a sexy guy eating her out regularly. Nina had blown Charles a few times when they were first married. Like most women who had been around the block a few times before tying the knot (she had lost her virginity -- better said, cast it aside like a used tampon -- at thirteen when she seduced the Sr. High quarterback) Nina rather liked the taste. Charles's was better than most. But when she tried to get him to give HER some nice tongue action and he made a face as if she had asked him to drink from the Anacostia, she stopped giving head. It just convinced her what a selfish lover he was and rather cooled her ardor for him. She still fucked him every day from need, but frankly she was coming to prefer her vibrator. IT always got her off and didn't snore when ITS batteries ran down.
Cokie, on the other hand, was completely scandalized. She hardly focused on the thought of someone like Ricky putting her older friend back in maternity clothes. Rather, she was shocked and horrified that a woman of fif...[tch tch] would commit the disgusting and immoral acts Linda was admitting to, indeed boasting of! The thought of allowing a man to place his penis in her mouth was revolting as well as indecent. Steve knew better than to ask! But even more revolting was the idea of allowing a man to touch her private parts with his hands or -- worse -- his mouth. Cokie knew from experience with Steve what that led to. It was not only sinful, but also dangerous. Their second and third children (of the planned one) had resulted when, in a moment of weakness, she allowed Steve to touch her down there. In no time she was screaming in orgasm and Steve was in her, making her a mommy again.
Cokie realized she was prone to sin in that way and she struggled daily to resist the urges to pleasure herself. Before they married, she had thought Steve was a nice boy who understood that sex was only for having babies. Instead, he went along with those Post-Counciliar priests who said that sex could be a means of expressing love or even just having fun! Cokie didn't buy it. The nuns had been very specific on that point. She even felt guilty about allowing Steve to fuck her on day twenty-seven. The Pope had said it was OK, but pleasure without procreation felt like cheating. Still, she did love Steve and knew how he suffered on account of her virtue. She had long ago resigned herself to finding evidences of Steve almost nightly sin with his had. Now here was Linda, whom she had always thought to be an upright woman, glorying in giving and receiving pleasure not only from out-of-wedlock intercourse, but also from the most perverse acts Cokie could imagine.
Linda was so wound up from her close encounter with Ricky she wouldn't shut up as she flung together ham, cheese, bread and chips. Putting some of those cooking lessons to use was obviously never in her plans, or if it was, getting her titties fondled and her pussy felt had knocked them right out of her head. Nina had little doubt why Linda was so eager to get the mid-day meal behind them.
Had they never seen one of Dr. Althea's programs, Linda rattled on. Of course Linda recognized they were on public TELEVISION, (Linda uttered the word as if naming a lower phylum in the Linnean classification of media, somewhere between "Hello" magazine and the segmented worms), but the Doctor made such sense and had helped her so much and her noon-time program was on in just a few minutes and they just HAD to see it.
There was no opportunity for Nina and Cokie to object as Linda carefully arranged three sandwiches for the men on a try with more beer, pushed wine coolers into the hands of her friends whom she left to make their own sandwiches and wiggled off to give the boys lunch (and another peek at her boobs).
Hilarious laughter from the sitting room drew Nina and Cokie there double-time. The two women were pretty sure Ricky had made some crude remark about his girlfriend's new endowments and, far from chastising him for his sexist attitude, their husbands were lapping it up. Lapping it up, in fact, was a pretty good description of what Ricky was doing to Linda's honkers, when her friends walked in. Ricky he had popped Linda's boobies out of the pesky blouse, and was using his amazingly long tongue to make the older woman squirm and giggle with delight.
Their spouses, however, had fallen stone silent. It wasn't hard to tell what had shut them up, though their mouths hung open. The television program that Linda had been so keen for them all to see had begun. Their husbands' eyes were riveted to the brilliant oversized screen where a voluptuous woman of indefinite age was prancing and flirting with the camera as she talked. Both Nina and Cokie began guessing which Miss Clairol bottle her hair color had come from, though they supposed that was not what held their spouses' attention. More likely was the skirt that stopped at least five inches up her thigh or the slit that continued up another two or three. On the other hand, it might also be the set of knockers that seemed to be fairly screaming to be released from a push-up bra and out for manual inspection. But in their heart of hearts both women knew what it really was: the beach-ball belly of the television hostess.
'Men,' thought Nina, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Good communication was important between partners: what a cliche. Wait, did she hear that right? Women were always eager to please their men but needed to be told clearly exactly what to do? "Loving but firm instruction is what we need, guys" she giggled. "A woman who has been trained to do as she's told around the house will <sly smile> be the kind of sex kitten you want her to be in bed."
There was something wrong about that, but Nina couldn't figure out just what. As she continued listening, it started making more sense. Of course, Althea explained, if a man wanted a woman who was hot for him day and night, he had to make it worth her while. Keeping her fucked stupid wasn't a physical possibility, given the raging libido of a modern woman. But there ware other ways.
Althea sympathized that some men had never been taught how eating a woman properly could make her your slave. Therefore she had arranged for a demonstration. Then, right in front of Nina and millions of other viewers, Althea lifted her maternity dress and motioned off camera. 'My God,' Nina thought, 'the slut isn't wearing panties and she is DRIPPING.' Nina hadn't seen the two men, who were nodding silently, so rapt by a TV program since the last Super Bowl.
Promptly a burly, hairy man appeared and without saying a word, buried his face in between Althea's legs. For the next forty-five minutes, until Althea became incoherent during her umpteenth orgasm, the nation was treated to the first narrated cunilingus session ever shown on national television. Near the end it got so intense that Nina had to get a little relieve from her own fingers. When she recovered, the program was over and the scene had shifted to banks of telephones. It was pledge week and "the kind of quality programming you have just seen cannot survive without your generous support." Steve and Charles had their checkbooks out, scribbling furiously.
'Men,' thought Cokie, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Of course good communication was important between partners. Wait, did she hear that right? Women needed constantly to ask their partners what they could do to please them better, how they could be sexier and more accommodating in bed? That was bullshit! It was perfectly obvious how to please a man. They were all just overgrown fourteen-year-old boys. After all, a bombshell like Cokie Roberts didn't need advice from this blond bimbo. A little red leather miniskirt would knock Steve's sock off! Some high heels would put a wiggle in her walk that would get her fucked as often as he could get it up. She didn't have to ask Steve anything. The erection he'd get when she met him at the door wearing nothing but heels and a bow around her neck would be all the communication she needed. Of course she already knew what he really wanted, for her to start on a second crop of babies. Well, she was fertile, he could get started tonight, Hell, this afternoon.
When Cokie looked around, she saw Nina with a flushed expression on her face and the boys with what can only be described as a shit-eating grin. Apparently Ricky and Linda didn't need to watch a program about improving communication. Ricky had Linda her back on a couch and was communicating about a third of his large cock into the pussy of the spasming woman who was crying out for more. "Ricky, darling, don't tease me like that. I need it all in me! Fuck me baby, fuck me!
"Are you sure, Lindy-Windy" the athletic young man replied, grinning and keeping up a tantalizingly slow sawing motion in and out of his girlfriend's weeping cunt. "Don't you remember what happened the night we met?"
"How can I forget, you beautiful SOB!" she gasped. "You felt me up in the bar until I couldn't think straight, then took me to your apartment and fucked me stupid."
"And what happens to girls who let boys fuck them stupid without protection?"
"They get knocked up like I did, you bastard maker. Now shut up and put it to me!"
"You want me to do it again, to get you even more pregnant? To have a big bellyful of my baby?"
"Yes, yes, dammit! I don't care if I get too big to fit in my parking space, just FUCK ME!
Nina had been a little worried about how docile and submissive Linda had been around Ricky. Now she was relieved to see that when Linda communicated clearly with Ricky, telling him exactly what she wanted done, he did it. Go girl! As the young man lengthened and deepened his strokes and Linda's moans turned to shrieks of ecstasy, Nina looked at Cokie and then at Charles and smiled. "I think I need a good long <pause> nap," she said and headed down the hall toward the bedrooms.
Cokie gave Steve a similarly seductive look and replied, "Me too. I'm feeling very <pause> sleepy," and sauntered toward the hall, giving her hips an exaggerated wiggle. Charles and Steve high fived and followed their wives swaying assess.
*****
The first days following the vacation Linda saw a marked improvement in both her friends, in Nina's attitude and in Cokie's attire. Nina's bored indifference to her husband, apparent to her friends, underwent a U turn. She wouldn't shut up about how affectionate Charles was, how good looking, how intelligent, how successful, how attentive and how he fucked her brains out night and morning. Cokie, it turned out had knees after all, though few noticed them when she started showing so much flesh to the north. Three, then four, and finally five inch heels replaced the drab flats she wore and suddenly her arms grew bracelets and bangles and her fingers and toes were painted in a dazzling sequence of colors. The topper was when she bent over one day to reveal a small heart tattooed just inches below her ass- cheeks.
A few weeks later Cokie and Nina burst into Linda's cubical, laughing excitedly. "We've just come from Dr. Vargas's clinic and..." Cokie almost shrieked.
Nina interrupted her little friend, "Since he's got almost eight months to plan, he's going to get us adjoining rooms in Sibley Maternity," she announced with a smirk.
"So, the boys did it, eh? I'm so happy for you!" Linda gushed a little insincerely, hugging the two women against her own now very noticeable tummy. "I guess that makes us about even," she continued with a hint of triumph in her voice. "Ricky has given me twins!"
