BrynnC
Titquake
Everything goes perfect in a nice hot story but in RL there's always something silly lurking around every corner no matter how hard you try to be serious. Anybody have any personal anecdotes of accidental cuc-comedy, bull-foonery, and/or queen-of-slipups they're willing to share!? C'moooon, if it wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it now would we? Like any other relationship, it can't always come out perfectly! I'll start!
For simplicity's sake, I'm gonna just refer to my partners by the first letters of their names, so you could just call me 'B' as well. They are 'S' (mr. cuck) and 'L' (mr. bull) and yes we already beat you to the SNL joke lol
Anyway!
So us three lovers are in bed doing lovery things, petting and chatting amongst ourselves. L looks over at S and puts on his sexy matter-of-fact voice as if my ass is an academic subject and asks him a question.
"So, why does it rev you up so much to watch B love me?"
S was laying on his side by us, a little bit away so we had room but ofc we could all still interact and talk and take our time, yada yada. He puts on a sly smile that looks almost smug, playing along.
"It's only nature, L." Adorable smirky pause. "Just keep going."
I'm over there chuckling like an idiot and licking my teeth like I'm the hottest chick on the planet and all the toys are mine. Total winner, having my cake and eating it too. The universe was going to knock me down a few pegs and I should've seen it coming but all my blood was understandably rushing to my vag and all I could do was relax into a great time.
Fast forward a while until a lot of that pent up energy was soaked into our sheets as sweat. I'm on all fours, L is steadily giving me a fan-freaking-tastic doggy/prone fucking while I'm in 69 position with S, ignoring his prick and just either resting my head on his leg or putting my head up and cussing enthusiastically. All the huffy, squeaky, 'I'm definitely gonna cum soon, guys' noises you would expect from a good screw. I dunno about you, but having my clit and my lover's junk noisily slurped by my squirming and overjoyed boyfriend is a pretty good way to distract me from all the subconscious restraints everybody has. It's like kryptonite!
So there I am all into it and getting nice and close, grinding and humping and twitching and the steaminess is sooooo satisfying, and that's where god decides I'm currently way cooler than my allotted level. It was sabotage. Like when a deer realizes they've been spotted like in Metal Gear Solid and just staaaares at the headlights.
I had just had the world's least convenient fart knocked outta me. I wanted to immediately disappear, obviously. 'Great, ruined that illusion of radness you had going there ya' bitch!' I barely got to start stammering out an apology over S' awkward attempts to be subtle about holding his breath. L was the only one who didn't seem to react in any way.
"It's only nature, S." That fucking troll. That big honkin' fucking troll. He even used almost precisely the same amount of pause for dramatic effect.
"Just keep going."
I HAD NOT AND HAVE NEVER SINCE HAD A MORE DIFFICULT ORGASM OKAY. And dumb cackling sounds very un 'natural' with orgasm noises, believe me! At very least, I didn't fucking rip ass again, but it was like turning on a good porn and having the ending swapped with Napoleon Dynamite.
In the post blooper chill, S and me agreed that it was at least good that there was no need for him to have a boner anyway and that L had enough to make up for both of them. The two of us just had to ask L how he kept his cool. S was standing up to go get drinks and towels, I was wrapping up in a blanket to hide my lack of dignity, and L was checking his messages on his phone that he had been ignoring. He didn't even look up.
"What did you guys even think scented candles were for? Mood lighting?"
We all ended up watching Monty Python and deciding that dinner would always come AFTER the fucking instead of before. You're welcome for the cautionary tale of advice lmao
-love,
B, L, and S
For simplicity's sake, I'm gonna just refer to my partners by the first letters of their names, so you could just call me 'B' as well. They are 'S' (mr. cuck) and 'L' (mr. bull) and yes we already beat you to the SNL joke lol
Anyway!
So us three lovers are in bed doing lovery things, petting and chatting amongst ourselves. L looks over at S and puts on his sexy matter-of-fact voice as if my ass is an academic subject and asks him a question.
"So, why does it rev you up so much to watch B love me?"
S was laying on his side by us, a little bit away so we had room but ofc we could all still interact and talk and take our time, yada yada. He puts on a sly smile that looks almost smug, playing along.
"It's only nature, L." Adorable smirky pause. "Just keep going."
I'm over there chuckling like an idiot and licking my teeth like I'm the hottest chick on the planet and all the toys are mine. Total winner, having my cake and eating it too. The universe was going to knock me down a few pegs and I should've seen it coming but all my blood was understandably rushing to my vag and all I could do was relax into a great time.
Fast forward a while until a lot of that pent up energy was soaked into our sheets as sweat. I'm on all fours, L is steadily giving me a fan-freaking-tastic doggy/prone fucking while I'm in 69 position with S, ignoring his prick and just either resting my head on his leg or putting my head up and cussing enthusiastically. All the huffy, squeaky, 'I'm definitely gonna cum soon, guys' noises you would expect from a good screw. I dunno about you, but having my clit and my lover's junk noisily slurped by my squirming and overjoyed boyfriend is a pretty good way to distract me from all the subconscious restraints everybody has. It's like kryptonite!
So there I am all into it and getting nice and close, grinding and humping and twitching and the steaminess is sooooo satisfying, and that's where god decides I'm currently way cooler than my allotted level. It was sabotage. Like when a deer realizes they've been spotted like in Metal Gear Solid and just staaaares at the headlights.
I had just had the world's least convenient fart knocked outta me. I wanted to immediately disappear, obviously. 'Great, ruined that illusion of radness you had going there ya' bitch!' I barely got to start stammering out an apology over S' awkward attempts to be subtle about holding his breath. L was the only one who didn't seem to react in any way.
"It's only nature, S." That fucking troll. That big honkin' fucking troll. He even used almost precisely the same amount of pause for dramatic effect.
"Just keep going."
I HAD NOT AND HAVE NEVER SINCE HAD A MORE DIFFICULT ORGASM OKAY. And dumb cackling sounds very un 'natural' with orgasm noises, believe me! At very least, I didn't fucking rip ass again, but it was like turning on a good porn and having the ending swapped with Napoleon Dynamite.
In the post blooper chill, S and me agreed that it was at least good that there was no need for him to have a boner anyway and that L had enough to make up for both of them. The two of us just had to ask L how he kept his cool. S was standing up to go get drinks and towels, I was wrapping up in a blanket to hide my lack of dignity, and L was checking his messages on his phone that he had been ignoring. He didn't even look up.
"What did you guys even think scented candles were for? Mood lighting?"
We all ended up watching Monty Python and deciding that dinner would always come AFTER the fucking instead of before. You're welcome for the cautionary tale of advice lmao
-love,
B, L, and S