Does my relationship fit the norm of what this site is about

[Sheilaslutmom]

I have two questions that I would be interested in getting opinions. I am new to this lifestyle and was made aware of this site when my boyfriend had me post some pictures and videos here. With that being said here is a little background. I discovered very quickly after meeting my boyfriend following my divorce that I am very submissive. My boyfriend is very dominant and from what he’s recently shared really enjoys seeing me completely submit. To watch as I do things that trigger a past traumatic experience or do something I said I did not want early on. The one thing that makes this different than just a normal bdsm kiink is that it is only black men that he wants me to do this with. Even though he is white all his friends are black. His child hood friend is my bull. So my boyfriend shared with my bull what he wanted to see him and his other black friends do with me. One scenario would trigger my past trauma. The other was just something I feared because it would lead to my lifestyle being outed. So my questions are:

1. Do you consider this cuckoldery? Do other’s on this site enjoy these scenarios too?

2. Have other women found that their limits continue to not exist. Something that you once thought was too humiliating, scary or taboo you reluctantly admit you get excited by now?

So I know you are asking what were the scenarios. I am adding two videos so you can make your guesses.( They are not of me this time) If people respond I will see if you agree with my boyfriend about this subject

View attachment 443891

View attachment CF4DA9E8-8F39-4658-BBDE-B191AC30FA6C.mp4

 

[Cravin_BNWO]

1. yes, yes
2. yes, but its not that they don't exist, they just keep being pushed farther and further. Its all part of the sub culture.

 

[Ips]

I have two questions that I would be interested in getting opinions. I am new to this lifestyle and was made aware of this site when my boyfriend had me post some pictures and videos here. With that being said here is a little background. I discovered very quickly after meeting my boyfriend following my divorce that I am very submissive. My boyfriend is very dominant and from what he’s recently shared really enjoys seeing me completely submit. To watch as I do things that trigger a past traumatic experience or do something I said I did not want early on. The one thing that makes this different than just a normal bdsm kiink is that it is only black men that he wants me to do this with. Even though he is white all his friends are black. His child hood friend is my bull. So my boyfriend shared with my bull what he wanted to see him and his other black friends do with me. One scenario would trigger my past trauma. The other was just something I feared because it would lead to my lifestyle being outed. So my questions are:

1. Do you consider this cuckoldery? Do other’s on this site enjoy these scenarios too?

2. Have other women found that their limits continue to not exist. Something that you once thought was too humiliating, scary or taboo you reluctantly admit you get excited by now?

So I know you are asking what were the scenarios. I am adding two videos so you can make your guesses.( They are not of me this time) If people respond I will see if you agree with my boyfriend about this subject

View attachment 443891

View attachment 443935

Quite an

I have two questions that I would be interested in getting opinions. I am new to this lifestyle and was made aware of this site when my boyfriend had me post some pictures and videos here. With that being said here is a little background. I discovered very quickly after meeting my boyfriend following my divorce that I am very submissive. My boyfriend is very dominant and from what he’s recently shared really enjoys seeing me completely submit. To watch as I do things that trigger a past traumatic experience or do something I said I did not want early on. The one thing that makes this different than just a normal bdsm kiink is that it is only black men that he wants me to do this with. Even though he is white all his friends are black. His child hood friend is my bull. So my boyfriend shared with my bull what he wanted to see him and his other black friends do with me. One scenario would trigger my past trauma. The other was just something I feared because it would lead to my lifestyle being outed. So my questions are:

1. Do you consider this cuckoldery? Do other’s on this site enjoy these scenarios too?

2. Have other women found that their limits continue to not exist. Something that you once thought was too humiliating, scary or taboo you reluctantly admit you get excited by now?

So I know you are asking what were the scenarios. I am adding two videos so you can make your guesses.( They are not of me this time) If people respond I will see if you agree with my boyfriend about this subject

View attachment 443891

View attachment 443935

impressive collection of photos and video. Concerning your question, ask your boyfriend.

 

[Sheilaslutmom]

Quite an

impressive collection of photos and video. Concerning your question, ask your boyfriend.

I know what he thinks

 

[Suzi]

I have two questions that I would be interested in getting opinions. I am new to this lifestyle and was made aware of this site when my boyfriend had me post some pictures and videos here. With that being said here is a little background. I discovered very quickly after meeting my boyfriend following my divorce that I am very submissive. My boyfriend is very dominant and from what he’s recently shared really enjoys seeing me completely submit. To watch as I do things that trigger a past traumatic experience or do something I said I did not want early on. The one thing that makes this different than just a normal bdsm kiink is that it is only black men that he wants me to do this with. Even though he is white all his friends are black. His child hood friend is my bull. So my boyfriend shared with my bull what he wanted to see him and his other black friends do with me. One scenario would trigger my past trauma. The other was just something I feared because it would lead to my lifestyle being outed. So my questions are:

1. Do you consider this cuckoldery? Do other’s on this site enjoy these scenarios too?

2. Have other women found that their limits continue to not exist. Something that you once thought was too humiliating, scary or taboo you reluctantly admit you get excited by now?

So I know you are asking what were the scenarios. I am adding two videos so you can make your guesses.( They are not of me this time) If people respond I will see if you agree with my boyfriend about this subject

View attachment 443891

View attachment 443935

Ok, having read your post, I am filled with a mix of concern and envy.

I am envious that your white man in your life wants to have you do things with black men. That would be my paradise. But it only makes him a cuckold if he is not having sex with you anymore. That only black men (or other white men) are. It sounds more like a Stag/Vixen IR thing, which is great, if that is what works for you both. So does cuckolding, if that is what he wants. Now, if he is getting other women on the side, then you are both in an open relationship.

Pushing limits IS scary. That is called 'being forced out of your comfort zone", which can be scary, uncomfortable, terrifying or even triggering. But, done properly, pushing your limits and being subjected to new and/or different things can be scary, humiliating and exhilarating, all at the same time. Remember, being in a D/s relationship is about power and control, more than anything. As the submissive, YOU hold the real power, not the Dominant. You are challenging HIM to please you, and you only get pleasure from those things others might find scary, humiliating, embarrassing, or even traumatizing. Keep in mind that some of this may be upsetting to him, too.

The first video is a scary thing. To give power, or have it taken from you, but a stranger. To be helpless to control your future, in the immediate if not for the rest of your life. For me, it works. But that isn't for everyone. In time, you may progress to where it works for you, as well. Or you may not, and that is perfectly okay, too! It is a weird kind of give and take dynamic that I was very deeply abusing, which is why I have been in therapy for some time. Because I took it WAY too far. Mine turned into a sexual addiction that I still fight with. Every day.

But in a strong, healthy relationship, based on love, respect and caring, such things like this can be worked through, experimented with, and enjoyed. They can build stronger connections, and stronger bonds, ultimately giving you stronger pleasure.

The second video is a .MOV file, with my PC won't allow me to view due to the high risk of embedded computer viruses. But I think I have made my point...

Just remember to play safe and be safe!

 

[Sheilaslutmom]

Ok, having read your post, I am filled with a mix of concern and envy.

I am envious that your white man in your life wants to have you do things with black men. That would be my paradise. But it only makes him a cuckold if he is not having sex with you anymore. That only black men (or other white men) are. It sounds more like a Stag/Vixen IR thing, which is great, if that is what works for you both. So does cuckolding, if that is what he wants. Now, if he is getting other women on the side, then you are both in an open relationship.

Pushing limits IS scary. That is called 'being forced out of your comfort zone", which can be scary, uncomfortable, terrifying or even triggering. But, done properly, pushing your limits and being subjected to new and/or different things can be scary, humiliating and exhilarating, all at the same time. Remember, being in a D/s relationship is about power and control, more than anything. As the submissive, YOU hold the real power, not the Dominant. You are challenging HIM to please you, and you only get pleasure from those things others might find scary, humiliating, embarrassing, or even traumatizing. Keep in mind that some of this may be upsetting to him, too.

The first video is a scary thing. To give power, or have it taken from you, but a stranger. To be helpless to control your future, in the immediate if not for the rest of your life. For me, it works. But that isn't for everyone. In time, you may progress to where it works for you, as well. Or you may not, and that is perfectly okay, too! It is a weird kind of give and take dynamic that I was very deeply abusing, which is why I have been in therapy for some time. Because I took it WAY too far. Mine turned into a sexual addiction that I still fight with. Every day.

But in a strong, healthy relationship, based on love, respect and caring, such things like this can be worked through, experimented with, and enjoyed. They can build stronger connections, and stronger bonds, ultimately giving you stronger pleasure.

The second video is a .MOV file, with my PC won't allow me to view due to the high risk of embedded computer viruses. But I think I have made my point...

Just remember to play safe and be safe!

Suzi

What an amazing response. I can’t believe someone took so much time and put so much thought into their answer. Thank you so much. Being new to this, and it being so different from how I was raised/experienced most of my life can definitely make me question myself. It’s definitely felt like an evolution of the mind but I have a lot to learn. Of course I don’t know you but you are obviously an amazing person. And whoever you partner or partners are need to realize how lucky they are

 

[Suzi]

Suzi

What an amazing response. I can’t believe someone took so much time and put so much thought into their answer. Thank you so much. Being new to this, and it being so different from how I was raised/experienced most of my life can definitely make me question myself. It’s definitely felt like an evolution of the mind but I have a lot to learn. Of course I don’t know you but you are obviously an amazing person. And whoever you partner or partners are need to realize how lucky they are

I keep telling my husband how lucky he is, but he doesn't always believe me!

Thank you for your kind words. I just know that I have been exploring sex from a tender age that is too young to mention here. Like you, I am a submissive and so I have been through some trials and tribulations. The handcuff video is only a hint at some of the things I've done, many times stupidly. I have also attended some training on the differences between Dominant/Submissive and Master/slave relationships, and how things are supposed to work in a healthy environment. Those were great in helping me identify some bad ones, and helped me escape them.

Just a word of caution. Sexual sadism is a problem, and there are too many "Dominants" out there who think that being Dominant involved assault. Slapping you around, punching you where it doesn't show, even kicking. There is a fine line between sadism/masochism and abuse. Don't be afraid to walk if you are ever experiencing actual, physical pain from a blow.

A true Dominant can get his sub to heel with a word, or even a glance. My husband can, only he doesn't quite understand Dominance, nor does he accept he is one. It is the one major problem in the marriage dynamic I have with him.

 

[thekeenreader]

Just a word of caution. Sexual sadism is a problem, and there are too many "Dominants" out there who think that being Dominant involved assault. Slapping you around, punching you where it doesn't show, even kicking. There is a fine line between sadism/masochism and abuse. Don't be afraid to walk if you are ever experiencing actual, physical pain from a blow.

A true Dominant can get his sub to heel with a word, or even a glance. My husband can, only he doesn't quite understand Dominance, nor does he accept he is one. It is the one major problem in the marriage dynamic I have with him.

@Sheilaslutmom List to your Aunt Suzi. She speaks the truth