I am 53year old skinny short 5ft2 tall freckled face thin lips green eyes redhaired soft butch single lesbian woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. I think I'm ugly and you can tell me I'm beautiful but I won't believe it. And that's my problem. I'm so firm in my views and I don't know what to do. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture.
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I have a satin and silk fetish. It's something you get as a child, I don't know how. It's not a condition but it's also not a choice, so I have to live and die with it. I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. For me nothing looks sexier on a woman than a shiny satin or silk outfit. I randomly walk up to women dressed in silk or satin and start rubbing their back . I've also been known to do it to strangers too. I have the greatest trouble thinking rationally when i am around women dressed in shiny silk or satin.
Three months ago I moved back in my hometown. My first cousin is married again. His new wife is this 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette. She has very large massive breasts and she does have a big butt. She has very olive skin. Most of her outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. She is always on high heels and full make up on. She is curvy, tall and busty, so many clothes tend to look sexier on her than on a thin person. She wears almost always her satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. She doesn't wear anything vulgar but because of her body type anything she wears looks tight on her. She is 5ft10 tall and and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes her HUGE! Standing next to me she looks like a giant. She has a 14 year old ******** from her first marriage. My cousin also has 25 year old son and 21 year old ******** from his first marriage.
This woman my cousins new wife is very serious, arrogant, and stuck up. Most people seem to think she is a stuck up overdressed snob. When she speaks with people , she tends to be overly nice and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation. Also this woman is kinda dumb. Sometimes she says some really stupid/ignorant things. Her geography is extremely bad. If somebody asked her if Australia was in southern or northern hemisphere she wouldn't know. She knows nothing about politics or the ongoing affairs of the world and thinks history is boring. To be honest the reasons I'm drawn to her are her looks and her clothes. Also she is upper middle class,stuck up snob. She is completely stuck up, spoiled and arrogant. She is not a hugger. She shakes hands. The first time i met her i extended my arms to hug her, and she automatically stepped back and away from me.
A month ago I attended this's wine bar opening party. This woman my cousin's wife was there alone without my cousin. She was wearing a purple long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top,black satin pencil skirt, sheer black pantyhose and 5 inch heels purple shoes. She had full make up on. As i was standing beside her i couldn't resist i placed my right hand on her back and started rubbing in circular motions. She was talking with other women as i was standing beside her with my right hand caressing her ass. Then she sat on a chair. I sat next to her on her right side. I invaded her personal space repeatedly. I hugged her around her waist with my left hand, rubbing her right arm and shoulder with my right hand. She got up, while i was still sitting and i rubbed her ass with my both hands. .
I got up and this touchable woman my cousin's wife pulled me aside. and she said that she is not a touchy feely huggy person at all and that she can barely tolerate hugging by her mother. She explained to me that it is making her uncomfortable that she understand that we are ****** and i am friendly and tactile but she feels a little uncomfortable when i touch her. She said that she is straight and that she never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female and that just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes her cringe..
I said to her that she is mis-reading the creep factor and that she is a stuck up snob. Also i said that i am an extroverted, touchy-feely, huggy person. As she was standing in front of me( my face is exactly the level of her breasts) i couldn't resist i reached out with my both hands i grabbed her massive soft boobs and jiggled and squished them. She was too shocked to say anything about it. I was feeling up, squeezing and jiggling her massive boobs for like 5 minutes . She was just standing in front of me stiff as a board with a stupid face while i was feeling up her massive boobs as people watched. She was waiting for me to finish. Other people there at the party noticed our behavior and they had a confused looks on their faces. .
Nine days ago we had a ****** gathering my aunt's birthday party in a restaurant. My cousin was there with his new wife. She was wearing this red satin bow blouse, black satin pants and she was on 5inch heels black shoes. She had full make up on. In the ladies room she was just standing stiff as a board for like 10 minutes saying no word while i was squeezing and feeling up her massive soft breasts,rubbing her back and arms and rubbing and grabbing her ass.I complimented her outfit and commented that she is tall,big,soft , classy and glamorous. I would never touch her in front of my cousin her husband or any other ****** members.
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Three days ago on my way home from work i stopped at the drugstore. This touchable woman my cousins wife was there. She was waiting in a line and i was behind her. She was wearing teal satin coat. I said to her ”uuuu i love your coat” and i started rubbing her back with my both hands as i was standing behind her in a line. On the parking lot i walked beside her i was rubbing her back with my right hand. She tried to walk faster but she was on 5inch high heels. Then i gave her a side hug and i started rubbing her back with my left hand and with my right hand rubbing her whole front side for like 5 minutes in the middle of the parking lot . She was just standing speechless stiff as a board as people watched waiting for me to finish. Then she walked to her car.
With this touchable always dressed in silk and satin woman my cousins wife is about lust, not love. It is pure physical attraction, not emotional. I have extremely erotic fantasies about her. She is an absolute ideal ten for me physically. She is so tall and big and soft.I just want to have sex with her I know it’s wrong. She is my first cousins wife but every time i see her walking around with her big massive breasts & butt cheeks swaying all over the place i lose control. I gravitate toward this woman like fruit fly on a banana. I know that I shouldn't do it but it is difficult to resist the urge to touch her. The cravings for touching her are becoming more intense. I am too sexually attracted to her. I just can't help myself because this is the way that I am, this is how my body react to her and her shiny clothes.She is extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. Please don’t be grossed out. I feel so guilty but i just can't stop touching this woman. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to some. I am very attracted to her but only in a sexual way. It's gotten so bad I've raced home after work to masturbate thinking about her. I want to stop this. But i just can't. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft.And this woman is physically stronger than me . She is 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.I am masculine but i am 5ft2 tall and skinny.She is always on high heels i am always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a giant.I am physically completely harmless. I feel like smashing my head against a wall sometimes I just can't stop thinking.
I know this sounds weird and outrageous. I am a horrible person. I am a bad person. She is my cousins wife! Am I just an evil person? I want to stop touching her and rubbing her but feel like I can’t.I am drawn to her. I am short skinny and ugly.My whole life i can’t attract the women i find attractive. Also she is always dressed in satin an silk clothes which doesn't help the situation.But she never wears anything trashy. She dresses in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. She has a more stylish sense of fashion but she keeps herself well covered. She is not particularly fond of wearing revealing clothes. She prefers to wear covered, yet form fitting fashionable clothes. What's happening to me?
I don't understand it. I feel the overwhelming sensation of guilt all the time because she is my cousin's wife. I am sick of this. I’m confused and my mind doesn’t stop. I really worry that I’m going to lose myself completely! I don't want to waste your time but I had to get some of this out of my head. What is wrong with me? I am afraid that i will just go even further. I came here on this forum with the hope that I would find someone to help me with advice. I wish I can find someone who can understand what I'm going through or maybe someone who's going through what I am so we can help eachother. This touchable woman my cousin's wife is 100% straight. She would never want to kiss a woman. She is very sexually attracted to men. She is literally 100% straight. I hate being turned on by rubbing and touching her through her satin and silk clothes and I can't seem to stop myself! It is pure physical attraction, not emotional.
.
I have a satin and silk fetish. It's something you get as a child, I don't know how. It's not a condition but it's also not a choice, so I have to live and die with it. I just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric because It's just so soft and smooth to touch when rubbing. For me nothing looks sexier on a woman than a shiny satin or silk outfit. I randomly walk up to women dressed in silk or satin and start rubbing their back . I've also been known to do it to strangers too. I have the greatest trouble thinking rationally when i am around women dressed in shiny silk or satin.
Three months ago I moved back in my hometown. My first cousin is married again. His new wife is this 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette. She has very large massive breasts and she does have a big butt. She has very olive skin. Most of her outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. She is always on high heels and full make up on. She is curvy, tall and busty, so many clothes tend to look sexier on her than on a thin person. She wears almost always her satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. She doesn't wear anything vulgar but because of her body type anything she wears looks tight on her. She is 5ft10 tall and and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes her HUGE! Standing next to me she looks like a giant. She has a 14 year old ******** from her first marriage. My cousin also has 25 year old son and 21 year old ******** from his first marriage.
This woman my cousins new wife is very serious, arrogant, and stuck up. Most people seem to think she is a stuck up overdressed snob. When she speaks with people , she tends to be overly nice and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation. Also this woman is kinda dumb. Sometimes she says some really stupid/ignorant things. Her geography is extremely bad. If somebody asked her if Australia was in southern or northern hemisphere she wouldn't know. She knows nothing about politics or the ongoing affairs of the world and thinks history is boring. To be honest the reasons I'm drawn to her are her looks and her clothes. Also she is upper middle class,stuck up snob. She is completely stuck up, spoiled and arrogant. She is not a hugger. She shakes hands. The first time i met her i extended my arms to hug her, and she automatically stepped back and away from me.
A month ago I attended this's wine bar opening party. This woman my cousin's wife was there alone without my cousin. She was wearing a purple long sleeve satin blouse buttoned up to the top,black satin pencil skirt, sheer black pantyhose and 5 inch heels purple shoes. She had full make up on. As i was standing beside her i couldn't resist i placed my right hand on her back and started rubbing in circular motions. She was talking with other women as i was standing beside her with my right hand caressing her ass. Then she sat on a chair. I sat next to her on her right side. I invaded her personal space repeatedly. I hugged her around her waist with my left hand, rubbing her right arm and shoulder with my right hand. She got up, while i was still sitting and i rubbed her ass with my both hands. .
I got up and this touchable woman my cousin's wife pulled me aside. and she said that she is not a touchy feely huggy person at all and that she can barely tolerate hugging by her mother. She explained to me that it is making her uncomfortable that she understand that we are ****** and i am friendly and tactile but she feels a little uncomfortable when i touch her. She said that she is straight and that she never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female and that just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes her cringe..
I said to her that she is mis-reading the creep factor and that she is a stuck up snob. Also i said that i am an extroverted, touchy-feely, huggy person. As she was standing in front of me( my face is exactly the level of her breasts) i couldn't resist i reached out with my both hands i grabbed her massive soft boobs and jiggled and squished them. She was too shocked to say anything about it. I was feeling up, squeezing and jiggling her massive boobs for like 5 minutes . She was just standing in front of me stiff as a board with a stupid face while i was feeling up her massive boobs as people watched. She was waiting for me to finish. Other people there at the party noticed our behavior and they had a confused looks on their faces. .
Nine days ago we had a ****** gathering my aunt's birthday party in a restaurant. My cousin was there with his new wife. She was wearing this red satin bow blouse, black satin pants and she was on 5inch heels black shoes. She had full make up on. In the ladies room she was just standing stiff as a board for like 10 minutes saying no word while i was squeezing and feeling up her massive soft breasts,rubbing her back and arms and rubbing and grabbing her ass.I complimented her outfit and commented that she is tall,big,soft , classy and glamorous. I would never touch her in front of my cousin her husband or any other ****** members.
.
Three days ago on my way home from work i stopped at the drugstore. This touchable woman my cousins wife was there. She was waiting in a line and i was behind her. She was wearing teal satin coat. I said to her ”uuuu i love your coat” and i started rubbing her back with my both hands as i was standing behind her in a line. On the parking lot i walked beside her i was rubbing her back with my right hand. She tried to walk faster but she was on 5inch high heels. Then i gave her a side hug and i started rubbing her back with my left hand and with my right hand rubbing her whole front side for like 5 minutes in the middle of the parking lot . She was just standing speechless stiff as a board as people watched waiting for me to finish. Then she walked to her car.
With this touchable always dressed in silk and satin woman my cousins wife is about lust, not love. It is pure physical attraction, not emotional. I have extremely erotic fantasies about her. She is an absolute ideal ten for me physically. She is so tall and big and soft.I just want to have sex with her I know it’s wrong. She is my first cousins wife but every time i see her walking around with her big massive breasts & butt cheeks swaying all over the place i lose control. I gravitate toward this woman like fruit fly on a banana. I know that I shouldn't do it but it is difficult to resist the urge to touch her. The cravings for touching her are becoming more intense. I am too sexually attracted to her. I just can't help myself because this is the way that I am, this is how my body react to her and her shiny clothes.She is extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. Please don’t be grossed out. I feel so guilty but i just can't stop touching this woman. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to some. I am very attracted to her but only in a sexual way. It's gotten so bad I've raced home after work to masturbate thinking about her. I want to stop this. But i just can't. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft.And this woman is physically stronger than me . She is 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.I am masculine but i am 5ft2 tall and skinny.She is always on high heels i am always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a giant.I am physically completely harmless. I feel like smashing my head against a wall sometimes I just can't stop thinking.
I know this sounds weird and outrageous. I am a horrible person. I am a bad person. She is my cousins wife! Am I just an evil person? I want to stop touching her and rubbing her but feel like I can’t.I am drawn to her. I am short skinny and ugly.My whole life i can’t attract the women i find attractive. Also she is always dressed in satin an silk clothes which doesn't help the situation.But she never wears anything trashy. She dresses in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. She has a more stylish sense of fashion but she keeps herself well covered. She is not particularly fond of wearing revealing clothes. She prefers to wear covered, yet form fitting fashionable clothes. What's happening to me?
I don't understand it. I feel the overwhelming sensation of guilt all the time because she is my cousin's wife. I am sick of this. I’m confused and my mind doesn’t stop. I really worry that I’m going to lose myself completely! I don't want to waste your time but I had to get some of this out of my head. What is wrong with me? I am afraid that i will just go even further. I came here on this forum with the hope that I would find someone to help me with advice. I wish I can find someone who can understand what I'm going through or maybe someone who's going through what I am so we can help eachother. This touchable woman my cousin's wife is 100% straight. She would never want to kiss a woman. She is very sexually attracted to men. She is literally 100% straight. I hate being turned on by rubbing and touching her through her satin and silk clothes and I can't seem to stop myself! It is pure physical attraction, not emotional.